


good/right/real

by angellwings



Series: the worthwhile fight [1]
Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Diverts Beginning in S3, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Grief/Mourning, Slow Burn, Starting Over
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-23 10:55:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 82
Words: 226,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23710384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angellwings/pseuds/angellwings
Summary: [Brettsey][AU - Canon Divergence][slow burn - eventual romance][friends to lovers] Our lives are a series of events and subsequent choices. If any of those events change then our choices and our path change along with it. This story will explore a major change regarding how Brett came to join 51 and how it effects the path that came after. Begins with S3. [Major Character Death].
Relationships: Sylvie Brett & Matthew Casey, Sylvie Brett/Matthew Casey
Series: the worthwhile fight [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2063619
Comments: 2538
Kudos: 1307





	1. The End of the World

**Author's Note:**

> **A/N:** LONG NOTE AHEAD. SORRY. BUT I NEED TO SAY A FEW THINGS FIRST.
> 
>  **Let me start with this statement: I do not hate Gabby Dawson.** The decision I made to have her and Shay switch places (or not switch places as the case may be) for the sake of this plot had very little to do with her and everything to do with my brain wanting to pull that that particular thread out of curiosity. I enjoy writing about the road not taken and seeing where it might lead. Dawson annoys me sometimes, yes, but I think she is a good person and total badass. I enjoyed her in most of her seasons on the show. So, if you've come here to leave reviews about how much you hate Brettsey or Sylvie Brett or Matt Casey simply because you think I hate your favorite character then please kindly leave. I do not hate Gabby Dawson. I simply don't think she's right for Matt. Or that Matt's right for her.
> 
> You are not required to agree with me. I really don't care if you do. All I ask is that you choose to scroll on by and ignore content you know you won't enjoy. **If you won't enjoy it then, quite frankly, I'm not writing it for you.**
> 
>  **On the flip side** , this also means this fic will not be the fic that retroactively twists Gabby Dawson into a villian. (None of my fics will be, honestly, because she's not a villain. **She's not innocent but she's not evil.** ) So, if you've come looking for that you won't find it here.
> 
> **Okay, now that we've got that out of the way, here's the thread I couldn't help but pull:**
> 
> Shay and Dawson didn't switch places at the building collapse at the end of S2. Shay survived and Dawson didn't. How would that effect 51 and Casey? What would that change for Brett and the entire series? That's what I plan to explore here. So, buckle up, friends, this one might be a long one.
> 
> It's going to be a bit strangely formatted for me, be warned. I usually like to do uniform chapter lengths BUT for this one the chapter length will be whatever I deem appropriate for the flow of the story. Likewise for the flow of events in general. **I am not writing an alternate take on EVERY Chicago Fire episode since 301.** Not every event in the CF universe would change just because Dawson died instead of Shay. Some episodes will get several chapters focus and some will get a paragraph in a chapter about multiple episodes or some may just be skipped all together. If I were to sit here and write an AU of every single episode I would be writing this story until I was 80 years old. That's insane, lol.
> 
>  **Also, the rating will change on this story as of chapter 2** so if you're reading on FFN you'd should put this story on alert because once the rating goes up to M FFN will hide it from you unless you do a specific search to include M rated fanfics. Just a heads up!
> 
> **Now that the business is out of the way, let's get to the fic!**
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> angellwings
> 
> * * *

* * *

"I thought the cold would last forever.

I didn't know that there was something better,

Waiting at the end of the world, the world, the world."

-"End of the World" by Kelsea Ballerini

* * *

Six weeks ago, the world ended.

Matthew Casey's team, his family, _his whole life_ walked into an abandoned apartment building and one of them didn't come out.

He feels cursed. Or maybe he's a jinx. He's loved exactly two women in his life and they were both ripped away from him in the most violent way he could ever imagine. He lost them before they could even get started. He loses _everyone_. His father, his mother, Hallie, and now…

Gabby Dawson had her whole life ahead of her, but one explosion robbed her, _and him_ , of every plan she'd ever made.

So, what's the point? Of plans? Of preserving your mortality? Of fucking _any_ of it?

There isn't one.

It's clear the universe or god or whatever sadistic bastard has set his path has determined he's meant to walk it alone. He was made to be a Firefighter and nothing else. Not a husband. Not a father. Not a son. Not even a goddamn fiancé. His job is all he has. That's fine. He's good at it — no, he's more than _good_. He's never been one to boast before but if it's all he has then he's going to own it.

Lieutenant Matt Casey knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is one of Chicago's most competent Firefighters. He's worked his ass off for the Chicago Fire Department. He's _earned_ his good reputation through smoke and ash. Why deny it?

Besides, if it's going to become his identity then there's no room for false modesty.

What he does outside of the Firehouse doesn't matter. Not anymore. Once he walks out of 51 Lt. Matt Casey ceases to exist.

The idea seems depressing but it's oddly freeing. His personal connections are cut. He never stops to learn more than necessary about anyone he meets. Hell, he never even bothers to frequent the same bar twice. He's unfettered and anonymous everywhere he goes.

Well, everywhere but Molly's.

Not his preferred destination these days, but it's late, no where else is open, and he wants a fucking drink. He also _doesn't_ want to go home until he's too tired to remember he lives alone — too tired to see the pictures on the walls or the extra toothbrush by the sink.

Too tired to remember how the world ended.

So, he pushes open the door and tries to banish the intrusive memories that come with it. He helped install that door. The solid antique construction is wholly unique. No one makes them like that anymore. _She_ knew that when she chose it.

He shakes away the image of her, and the photo they took opening day, and releases a shaky breath,

He _hates_ this place. He _hates_ how it makes him think of _her_. But he's here and he's not leaving. Not now.

He glances around the room and luckily doesn't see anyone from 51. The bartender is someone he doesn't know — an outside hire to fill in the hole Gabby left behind. He breathes a sigh of relief. This may be his regular place but for one night only it doesn't matter. He can be whoever the hell he wants.

As long as he's not Lieutenant Matt Casey.

* * *

Her opinion on Chicago can be classified as 'undecided'. She hasn't been here long and every day feels different. Some days she hates it. She hates her scary neighborhood, the trash on the streets, the serious lack of vegetation, the homeless man who lives beside her stoop (well more his smell than him, really). Some days she misses her small town so much it hurts. She has no friends here. Not even any acquaintances. There's no one to invite her out and show her the town. No parties to attend. Not even anyone to meet for a drink after work.

She likes to talk and laugh and listen. Right now, she can only do all of those things with herself. Which is boring and depressing as hell.

But then other days…

Other days she relishes anonymity. Her small town is beautiful and cozy and familiar. That's all true. But small towns are also cesspools of vicious gossip and self righteous judgemental neighbors. All it takes is one cancelled wedding and suddenly you're famous.

People stop talking every time you step into the grocery store or the beauty parlor or in some cases your parents dining room. Sad eyes follow you wherever you go. Jesus, even her supposed friends got in on the bit. You're the sad old maid who somehow screwed up your one chance at happy ever after.

Which makes no fucking sense cause none of it was even _her fault._ Harrison left _her_. Sure, okay, the town thought he walked on water. They all loved him. She thought they all loved her too and, to be fair, the entire town wasn't whispering behind her back. Her parents weren't. Their closest friends weren't. Her best friend, Hope, wasn't. Certainly not her brother. They knew her. They understood.

But _everyone else…_

Can anyone blame her for running away? She had to get out. She needed to go somewhere she wasn't known. Where she could just live her life without feeling like it was going to end up front page news in the Fowlerton Dispatch. She couldn't take the sad or judgemental stares a moment longer. Just like she couldn't stay in Harrison's rented townhouse a moment longer.

She moved in with him after he proposed. At the time, she'd been so excited. But, after he tore out of town and left her behind to clean up his mess, the townhouse felt like a prison. To make matters worse, her car was in the damn shop. She'd been rear ended by sweet old Mr. Gable at a red light and the damage wasn't major but intense enough that her car was out of commision for a few days. She was trapped.

She has never been claustrophobic in her life, but in that moment…

The walls closed in.

There was nothing left to do but escape.

She packed everything she could fit in one suitcase, withdrew her entire life savings (including her hard earned wedding fund), and ghosted on all of Fowlerton, Indiana in the blink of an eye.

In Harrison's car.

Yep, that's right. Lifelong good girl, Sylvie Brett, stole her ex's car.

She still feels guilty about that. As soon as she gets her first paycheck she should start sending Harrison payments. At least until the car is paid off. It's only fair.

But back to her original point-what was her original point?

_Oh, right._

She has a love hate relationship with Chicago, but the best thing about it so far is that no one gives a damn about _Sylvie Brett_. They don't know her from Adam. She can be whoever the hell she wants. She has the power to control her own narrative now. She doesn't have to be the unfortunate girl Harrison left at the altar. As far as anyone here knows, _she left him._

In fact, _yes_ , if anyone asks that is exactly how it happened.

Harrison doesn't get to be Julia Roberts. The movie wasn't called Runaway _Groom_. No, he's Christopher fucking Meloni. It's what he deserves. Let him be the sad sack stuck with announcing the cancellation and returning the gifts - in her imagination anyway.

So, for today, Chicago wins. She _loves_ Chicago. Loves it enough to go on an adventure. She'd heard some people at the Academy mention a bar. What was it? It was a woman's name. Started with an 'm'...

 _Molly's_!

That's it. A quick google search on her phone pops up the address, the hours, and a few Yelp reviews. She immediately likes it. She's not sure why. It just looks...inviting. Like a place she might want to call hers. No real explanation for it.

Maybe it's the twinkle lights.

She hails a cab and off she goes. Time to start living her new life in her new city. Maybe this isn't the best idea. She has her first shift tomorrow, after all. But she has to start sometime.

Why not tonight?


	2. Needing Somebody

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just another night at Molly's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** The rating increases to M as of NOW. ;) Thank you guys so much for all the supportive feedback on the first chapter! Also, thank you to KATERTOTS for her help with this! She edited it a bit for me and helped me GREATLY. She's brilliant! Hope you guys like this second chapter!
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> angellwings
> 
> * * *

"I ain't gonna say I never do this, 'cause truth is,

Lonely makes a heart ruthless.

Ain't nobody gonna hurt nobody,

Ain't nothing wrong with needing somebody.

You can leave all that down in the lobby."

-"One Night Standards" by Ashley McBryde

* * *

"It's kinda late for a girl like you to be out on her own, isn't it?"

The sound of the slurring invitation hits Matt's ears and causes his muscles to tense. His eyes slide to the blonde a few stools over and the drunk who's sidled up to her with a lecherous smirk.

The blonde doesn't shy away or recoil. She rolls her eyes and looks at the man with a cool stare. "What kind of girl do you think I am exactly?"

" _Nice_ ," the man sneers as he leans into her space.

She chuckles and takes a long sip of her beer before replying. "Nice doesn't mean _stupid_."

She turns to face him and points to the group of women at the back table, obviously checking him out and likely on their third fancy cocktail for the evening. Herrmann tried to resist craft cocktails but Otis talked him into it anyway. The drunk girls in the back of the bar help Matt understand Herrmann's aversion.

"You should try them," the blonde tells him. "They're clearly interested. I'm _not_."

The man glares at her and scoffs. "You're too much work anyway."

She laughs lightly as he leaves and shakes her head. "That's what happens when the _nice_ girl stops being a doormat."

She says it more to herself than the drunk, but he catches it. Her tone sounds a bit despondent with a little resentment mixed in. Maybe he can't relate to the statement, but he can certainly relate to _sentiment_.

"You don't seem like a doormat to me," he comments facing her with a crooked grin.

"Yeah? Well, you're probably the first guy I've met who hasn't taken one look at the blonde hair and wide smile and thought 'now, there's a push over. How can I take advantage of that?'" She stops and shakes her head. "But not anymore. I'm gonna reinvent myself. The old Sylvie is dead."

Sylvie. A nice name for a _nice_ girl, he thinks.

That wide smile she mentioned is suddenly aimed at him and, for the first time since this conversation started, he realizes exactly how uncommonly pretty she is. He finds himself more than a little disarmed and not at all prepared for her next sentence.

"And the new Sylvie is gonna make Chicago her bitch."

It's so unexpected that he can't help but laugh. He doesn't mean any offense but she looks offended anyway. He shakes his head and moves down to the vacant stool next to hers.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't laugh," he tells her with a small smile. He's relieved to be feeling something besides the need to beat his fists against the wall until they're bloody and raw. "I'm sure you'll do it — make Chicago your bitch, I mean. I just didn't see those words coming from you, that's all."

She shrugs and the offended expression is replaced by a subtle upward tilt of her lips. "Not the first time someone's laughed at me for swearing. I get it."

"I'm Matt," he says as he holds his hand out for a shake. "It's nice to meet you, Sylvie."

She slips her hand in his and it's surprisingly callused and dry. Again, not what he'd been expecting. This girl's done some kind of manual labor in her lifetime. He knows those sort of calluses. He has them himself.

"You too," she replies, shaking his hand gently. "So, what brings you to a bar at 2 am, Matt?"

His gaze moves to the front door — the one that held memories he'd spent the last six weeks attempting to obliterate — and then back to Sylvie.

"Trying to forget," he admits.

She nods slowly, a pensive expression on her face. "That's a tall order."

He snorts derisively in agreement. "Nearly impossible. I think the best I can ask for is avoidance."

"You could always run away," she suggests, tipping her beer bottle toward him. "I did."

"That how you ended up in Chicago?" He asks curiously.

She stares at him for a long moment as if considering what she should tell him and then sighs tiredly. "What the hell, I'm probably never gonna see you again after tonight, right?"

"Trust me, you wouldn't want me to ask for your number. I'm pretty sure I'm cursed," he warns her. He's aware of how hopeless he sounds but he can't bring himself to care.

"Yeah, well, I basically got left at the altar a few months ago so I'm done with relationships for the immediate future anyway," she confesses. "And when you're from a small town _no one_ can let it go and they _all_ have an opinion. So, I left."

"You left? Just like that?" He asks, raising his brows in intrigue.

She nods. "Stole my ex's car and fled in the middle of the night like a fugitive."

He's impressed and amused, but mostly thrilled to be talking about someone else's life for once. "That blonde hair and sunny smile hides a lot of trouble, doesn't it?"

She smirks at him but it has a dark edge to it as if she wishes he wasn't right. "From here on out if anyone asks...I left _him_. You got that?"

He holds his hands up in a gesture of surrender and shares her dark smirk. "Got it."

He picks up his beer again, sliding a long look up and down the length of her. It's only a quick glance but already he knows she's got a great body to match her pretty face. He has a few thoughts he shouldn't be having so he picks the conversation back up.

"We've established why I'm here at 2 am, but relationship issues aside I have no idea why _you're_ here."

"I shouldn't be," she tells him. "My first day of work is tomorrow."

"Then why are you?"

Their eyes connect as he asks the question. He _sees_ that despondent rage this time. It's the thing that first piqued his interest. The commonality between them. Her blue eyes sweep over him. He feels the heat of her gaze as it takes in his shoulders and chest. He can't resist a cocky grin in response to her blatant interest. She pointedly looks away from him before she answers.

"Same reason as you," she declares while studying the label on her beer. "Avoidance. I don't exactly have people here to distract me and if I went home all I'd do is mope. So, I don't want to go home until I'm too tired to care about how truly _alone_ I am."

 _Fuck_. He'd had that exact same thought before showing up _here_. He quite painfully understands her meaning.

"I've told you what I'm avoiding, but I still don't know what you're—"

"I lost someone. Someone important. I don't want to talk about it," he explains, attempting to be purposefully vague. "Good enough?"

"Sure," she replies, lifting one shoulder carelessly. "We've already established we'll never be seeing each other again so what does it matter? Tell me as much or as little as you want." She pauses and then meets his eyes again. The heat is back causing her eyes to darken to a deep shade of navy. "Or don't talk at all. That's good too."

 _Not talking_ sounds like a very tempting concept right now. It means not going home alone. It means thinking about something besides his grief. It means getting lost in another person who seems to be feeling the same things as him and none of those feelings have a damn thing to do with love. If he's looking for avoidance then _not talking_ would do the trick.

* * *

Going home with a stranger from a bar is definitely not something Old Sylvie would do.

But screw Old Sylvie. She passively lived her life and let her entire world revolve around one man like the naive little girl she was. New Sylvie takes things into her own hands. If she needs a distraction then she'll find one. If she wants a night that has no bearing on her future and allows her to blow off some steam through some killer no commitment sex then she can have it. No guilt or remorse required.

She doesn't even know Matt's last name and oddly enough she's absolutely fine with that.

She told him the truth. She has no immediate want or need for a relationship. She has no interest in learning his last name or getting his number. After years of being tied to Harrison, on and off, attaching herself to someone else so soon after being left at the altar is utterly unappealing. In fact, the idea of another relationship leaves her feeling terrified and anxious.

But a one night stand…

A one night stand sounds fucking terrific.

She doesn't know anything about Matt, but she can tell by his build and the intensity in his stare that one night with him will be better than the majority of her nights with Harrison.

Judging by the way he presses her against his apartment door after it closes behind them, she knows she's right.

His mouth is insistent against hers and his hands are determined. He's full speed ahead and she's along for the ride. They both strip as they move through his living room, leaving a haphazard trail of clothes in their wake. Sylvie can't remember the last time she was this eager to get naked with someone. It's both terrifying and electrifying in equal measure.

But she's not thinking about anything else right now. That includes comparing this experience to Harrison. That's not what tonight is about. She went home with Matt to avoid Harrison. Which becomes a lot easier to do when Matt's fingers swirl around her clit causing her to moan and grip his shoulders tighter. Jesus, if he's going to do that then they need to get to his bed, fast. Her legs are not going to hold out. Especially, if he decides to-

"Oh, _fuck_ ," she mutters as he presses two fingers into her.

"Just curious," he says as he lifts his mouth from her neck. "Did the old Sylvie curse?"

She laughs at the shit eating grin on his face. "Not outloud," she answers honestly.

"Interesting," he says as his grin turns wolfish. "I bet if I…"

He curls his fingers inside her and her hips buck forward with a gasp. "Fuck, Matt!"

His chuckle rumbles low in the room around them. "That's what I thought."

"I didn't come here to be teased," Sylvie tells him with a playful glare. "I came here to be fucked."

He groans and buries his face in the curve of her neck. "Don't worry, I'm all about the follow through," he promises, grinning against her skin. "Trust me on that."

It's weird, considering she barely knows him, but trusting him is definitely not an issue. She trusted him almost from the first moment he spoke to her. But for the sake of theatrics, she pretends otherwise. "Well, I just met you so you're going to have to prove it."

"Challenge accepted," he says with a wicked smirk.

He steps away from her - removing his hands and his body heat - and she fights the urge to stomp her foot like a kid throwing a tantrum. This is the opposite of what she wanted. He steps toward his nightstand and pulls a foil wrapper from the drawer. Now it makes sense and she's very glad she didn't pout. That foil wrapper is going to get her exactly what she wants.

 _Him_.

For tonight anyway.

She watches eagerly as he opens the package and rolls on the condom. He definitely shouldn't have any insecurities about size. Christ, what a stroke of luck it was to run into _him_ tonight. He marches forward until his solid chest has her trapped against the wall. One of his hands, rough with calluses, grips the underside of her knee and pulls her leg around his waist.

As he presses his body flush against hers, she feels the tip of his hardness slide over her clit. It's still sensitive from his fingers so her reaction is instant. A startled cry rips from her throat as she arches against him and presses her hips further into him.

So much for a bed, she thinks. They're definitely not going to make it that far.

That assumption is confirmed a moment later, when he lines himself up and eases into her. It feels too good. She simultaneously wants to push him away and pull him closer, which doesn't make any sense. But then again, none of this night makes sense. She's never been this person before — this person who meets a stranger in a bar in the wee hours of the morning and decides to get lost for a while.

As he pulls out and pushes back in, harder and faster this time, she thinks being reckless isn't so bad. Maybe this night is out of character for her, but she already knows she won't regret it. She needed to blow off steam and to prove to herself that she could take risks. There's no more delicious way to do both those things at once than being fucked against a wall by a sexy stranger. A very _capable_ sexy stranger.

He picks up the pace and pulls her leg a little higher, deepening his thrusts. He groans, low and ragged, and pounds into her. Another curse escapes her along with a mewling whimper. She blindly reaches for anything along the wall to hold onto. Her search comes up empty. So she reaches for Matt instead. Her arms slip under his, winding up and around his shoulders — holding on for dear life.

They're both close now. His movements have gotten a little erratic and his groans and grunts have grown more frequent. She moves in time with him, chasing her own release as much as trying to aid him. His mouth dips to her neck and then further down to her collar bone. He sucks and nibbles. The scratching of his five o'clock shadow against her sensitive skin adds to all the sensations currently assaulting her.

She's going to wear the marks of someone who's been well fucked tomorrow. Beard burn and muscle soreness at least, and a hickey too if he keeps working that spot on her shoulder. Strangely, it's the thoughts of the evidence he'll leave behind that finally sends her careening over the edge.

She feels as though she's falling down an endless cavern. Time passes excruciatingly slowly and yet somehow too fast. When she finally crashes down, it's into a pool of warmth and satisfaction with Matt panting harshly against the shell of her ear.

He slowly pulls away from her and nods toward his open bathroom door. "If you need to clean up or anything."

She bites her bottom lip and nods. "Good idea. I should probably clean up and go," she tells him. "I'm supposed to have an early morning tomorrow."

His nod doesn't seem disappointed or enthusiastic. Just matter of fact. "I'm supposed to start pretty early too," he says, standing back and running a hand through his hair.

It takes her a few minutes to gather her clothes, clean up, and change. He walks her to the door after, now dressed in black briefs and nothing else. He opens the door for her. She stops over the threshold and turns back around.

She smiles softly at him and leans up on her toes to kiss his cheek. "Thanks for the stress relief. I had a lot of fun."

One side of his mouth ticks upward in a crooked grin. "Me too. I don't know if my opinion counts for anything, but I think the new Sylvie is gonna like Chicago."

She chuckles and nods. "I think so too."

"Are you good to get home?" He asks with genuine concern.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," she assures him. "It was nice to meet you, Matt."

"You too, Sylvie," he replies with a quiet laugh. "Maybe I'll see you around sometime."

"Maybe you will," she replies as she turns and walks away from him.

It's a fun little lie to tell themselves, but she knows he won't. She's fine with that. Tonight did what it was supposed to do. It hit the reset button on her life. Sylvie Brett of Fowlerton walked into that bar, but Sylvie Brett of Chicago walked out of Matt's apartment. Tomorrow, she'll start her new job and the transformation will be complete.

As far as she's concerned, her baggage is gone. Screw Harrison. Screw Fowlerton.

She'll be fine on her own.


	3. Hello Like Before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Sylvie's first day at 51!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** Who's ready for chapter three? ;) Chapter three brings Shay and Severide! This is obviously gonna be set during 301 with some differences due to Shay still being alive. Severide not pulling a disappearing act is probably the biggest change. This story will focus on Matt and Sylvie's plots with cursory looks at everyone else's so while I may not being going too deeply into Shay's grief (she's the type who would refuse to add to other people's pain and stress with her own) please know that it is still there and likely only explicitly shared with Severide (as he is her person). I may go deeper into that as her friendship with Sylvie grows, but we'll see.
> 
> Okay, anyway, we're done with the business! Thank you so much for all your support! On with the show!
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> angellwings

* * *

"Hello like before,

I guess it's different,

'Cause we know each other now.

I guess I've always known,

We'd meet again somehow.

So then it might as well be now."

-"Hello Like Before" by Bill Withers

* * *

"Have you seen the new paramedic?" Severide asks him as he leans against the doorframe of Casey's quarters.

"No," he replies.

He's been too busy with Welch and his bullshit to pay attention to anything new around the house. Besides that, he wasn't exactly looking forward to welcoming a new paramedic. He was fine with Chout. They didn't need anyone else.

Someone new felt too final - _too real_.

So real that he may have been taking out his anger in unprofessional ways. Nearly getting in a fight with Welch was an itch he knew better than to scratch. Yet he'd done it anyway and earned himself a lecture from Boden.

" _I need leaders in this house, Casey. Now more than ever."_

Guilt immediately followed. He knew he was being a hot headed ass. He'd resolved that all he was ever going to have was the job from here on out and if that was the case then he needed to get better at holding his temper. Losing Gabby set him on edge and Welch's insensitive remarks had stabbed at an open wound. He was at risk of losing control and that's the very last thing he needs right now.

"I'm telling you, man, she and Shay could be sisters," Severide says with a chuckle. "I had to do a double take when I walked in the bunkroom just now."

 _Shay_. He was struggling with the idea of a new paramedic but he can't imagine how Shay must be feeling.

"How is she with that, by the way?" Casey asks.

Severide sighs and shrugs. "Stoic in public. A mess at home. We talk about it a little every day and as far as I can tell it gets a little easier every time we do. I think she hates the promotion more than the new partner, though. She doesn't feel like she earned the promotion."

Casey scoffs. "That's ridiculous. Gabby would have wanted her named PIC. She's more capable than anyone else that might have been brought in."

"That's what I said," Kelly tells him. "But she's gotta come to that conclusion on her own. She's stubborn like that." Severide pauses and glances pointedly at him before continuing. "What about you? How are you?"

"Fine," he mumbles. "Don't worry about me."

Severide snorts and shakes his head. "Fat chance of that. I heard you nearly took Welch's head off earlier today at a fire scene. Not that I blame you, but...that's not you. Not at a scene, at least."

"You know Welch. He hit below the belt. I reacted. I talked to the Chief. It won't happen again."

"If you say so," Kelly replies with a tired sigh. "Come on, man. Come meet the new paramedic. Get it out of the way."

Matt waves him off and shakes his head. "Later. I've got paperwork to catch up on first."

"Yeah, sure."

He can tell by Severide's tone that he doesn't believe him, but he won't question it. That's not what they do. Kelly walks off, leaving him alone to do his work and once he's gone Matt slumps against his desk with his head in his hands. After Gabby, he convinced himself all he had was his job, but how can he commit himself to that when being in this firehouse without her feels impossible? There are reminders of her everywhere, and he doesn't just mean the plaque honoring her line-of-duty death. Every room in 51 holds a memory. Even his own damn quarters.

He hides himself away for the rest of the shift under the guise of paperwork. As the day gets later more people begin to trickle into the bunk room with their voices carrying through the crack of his open door. He hears Otis talking to someone that he assumes is their new paramedic. The one Kelly swore looked exactly like Shay.

"So, how did you end up here, Brett?"

"You ever see that movie Runaway Bride?"

Matt sits up straighter at the sound of that voice. He knows that voice. _Shit._ No way. It can't be. It just can't. He could lean back in his chair a little and see her through his windows but he finds he'd rather not know. Not because he doesn't want it to be her but because a part of him _does_ , and that scares him. Terrifies him, actually.

Otis hums in confirmation. Matt hasn't seen the movie but it doesn't take a genius to figure out the plot.

"I was engaged to the number one regional sod seller in all of mid-central Indiana."

"Get out of here," Otis quips sarcastically.

"Yes, it was that exciting."

Matt grins a little at their friendly exchange and then remembers why he's eavesdropping in the first place.

"I knew Harrison forever. We went to elementary school together. Our families knew each other. We were supposed to get married exactly three months ago today. I stared at that abyss, and I just...couldn't pull the trigger."

"You left him at the altar?"

"No. A couple of weeks before," she clarifies. "Cold feet. That ran right up I-65 to Chicago. So...here I am."

Except that's not exactly true, is it? He knows it's not true. She told him the honest, albeit vague, version last night. But the stories are so similar and the voice is still fresh in his memory. It has to be her. This time he gives in and leans back in his chair for a better view. He can't see much. Just a golden blonde ponytail.

But it's enough.

Holy fucking shit.

The new paramedic is his one night stand.

This is bad. It _should_ be bad. There's a lot of risk involved in her finding out he's a Lieutenant here. Hadn't they all learned that from Kelly a couple years back? He didn't _think_ Sylvie was anything like that Tara girl, but he doesn't really know her. He can't be sure, can he?

So, what does he do? How is he supposed to handle this? Does he talk to her - Sylvie - about it? Or maybe if he ignores it then she will too? He's in over his head. He sighs in resignation as he realizes that he won't be able to handle this on his own. He's going to need reinforcements. He exits his own quarters as quietly as he can. Deliberately trying not to disturb Otis and Sylvie. Kelly's door is closed, but Matt knows he won't care. He steps into the room and draws Severide's blinds closed.

"I need your help," Matt says with a wince.

Kelly turns with wide eyes and a crooked smirk. "My help? With what?"

Matt grinds the heels of his hands into his eyes before he answers him. He's never going to hear the end of this. He knows it.

"I slept with the new paramedic last night," he confesses hurriedly.

Severide guffaws and stares at him in shock. "You did what?"

"I didn't know she was the new paramedic!" He says defensively. "I didn't even get her last name!"

Jesus, that made the situation sound even _worse_.

Kelly turns his chair around and grins at him with his hands folded over his chest. "Damn, Casey. I'm impressed. She's hot!"

He groans miserably and sits down on Kelly's bed. "Yeah, but now we work together. I'm technically her superior even if Ambo and Truck are different. Not only that, but one night stands aren't exactly the most acceptable way to grieve and I'd rather the whole house never find out. What am I supposed to do now?"

"This might be a bit obvious, but...have you thought about, I don't know, _talking_ to her?"

Matt gives him a flat look. "I considered it, yeah. I wasn't sure that was the right move, though."

"She seem like the vindictive type to you?"

"No," he answers honestly. "She seemed sweet."

Severide chuckles dryly. "Yeah? The All-American girl type? The Diane to your Jack?"

Matt rolls his eyes and flips Kelly the bird. "Hell, no. It's not like that. We agreed it was a one time thing. Neither one of us wants a relationship. I'm fucked up right now, and honestly not sure I'll ever want that again. She's getting over her own issues. We just needed to blow off some steam. That's all."

"If that's your impression of her then man up," Kelly tells him with a careless lift of his shoulder. "Talk it out. You probably don't have anything to worry about."

"Yeah," he says sardonically. "Except a potential sexual harassment claim."

Severide winces and nods. "Well, there is that."

How did he get himself into this mess? He scrubs a hand over his face and gives Kelly a tired glance. "I think this whole situation has proved one thing to me."

"What's that?" He asks expectantly.

"One night stands are not for me," Matt declares. "At least not without finding out a little more information first - like last name and occupation."

Kelly laughs loudly and shakes his head. "You may as well do a full background check at that point. Where's the fun in that?"

"You're an ass, you know that, right?" Casey asks him teasingly.

"Hey, Captain America, let me remind you that I am not the one who slept with the new paramedic. _You are_ ," Severide says with a gloating smile.

"Fuck you," Casey replies with a begrudging smirk. "You've been no help at all."

The door opens suddenly and Shay appears. "Hey, Severide, have you seen-" She stops when her eyes land on Matt. "Nevermind, question answered. I've been looking for you, Lieutenant."

"Me?" He asks worriedly.

She nods. "I was trying to show the new girl around this morning and you were nowhere to be found. If I didn't know better I'd think you were avoiding me."

"Nope," Severide replies smugly. "Not _you_."

Matt gives him a silencing glare and Kelly merely holds his hands up in a gesture of peace.

"Brett!" Shay calls over her shoulder. "Get your farmgirl ass over here! You've got one last person to meet."

"Farmgirl?" Kelly asks Shay with a smirk.

Shay nods with a mirthful expression. "She's from some tiny town in Indiana. Parents owned a farm. She's adorable and unfortunately straight."

Severide laughs and shakes his head. "Get off it. You've never been into farmgirls a day in your life."

"There's a first time for everything," Shay tells him with a suggestive wiggle of her brows. "She's hot. Maybe a little too sweet for me, though. Casey would probably like her."

Casey takes in a startled breath and chokes on it causing him to cough. Kelly pats his back much harder than necessary and aims a victorious smile at him.

"Yeah, I bet he would."

Matt glowers at him as he tries to catch his breath. Sometimes, he really hates his best friend.

He hears her voice again before he sets eyes on her. "Yeah, Shay, I'm here."

"Perfect!" Shay exclaims as she loops an arm through Sylvie's. "Sylvie Brett, meet Lieutenant Matt Casey. Matt Casey, Sylvie Brett."

Sylvie's eyes widen at the sight of him.

"I, um-" She stops, forces a smile, and holds her hand out for a shake. "It's nice to meet you, Lieutenant."

He clears his throat and swallows thickly before accepting her hand. Just like last night, he feels her dry calluses against his own. Only now they make sense. Between constantly washing her hands, wearing gloves all the time, and growing up doing hard work on a farm he finds an admirable explanation.

"You too, Brett," he replies. Trying to appear as casual as possible. He's not sure he succeeds.

She pulls her hand from his and holds it stiffly at her side. "Well, I should go check the supplies on the rig. I'm pretty sure I saw some of the guys raiding the towels again."

Leslie grins knowingly and releases her arm. "Yeah, they do that. I'll catch up in a few minutes."

Sylvie waves and then swiftly retreats from the room.

Shay glances from her retreating back to Casey and then smacks his shoulder, hard. "What did you do?"

He gives her a shocked look and recoils. "What? Nothing!"

"No, I know that look. That was a deer in the headlights, drowning in panic look on her face. What I don't know is _why_ ," Shay says with narrowed eyes.

Matt huffs and ignores her. He squeezes passed Shay as she stands in the doorway and decides to follow Sylvie. Severide was right. The only way to find out where they stand is to talk. He's reasonably more confident that she won't take advantage of the situation after that awkward introduction. She could have outed him, but didn't. Clearly, she didn't want everyone to know what had happened either.

* * *

This wasn't happening. This most definitely could _not_ be happening.

The one time she has a one night stand and the guy basically turns out to be her boss.

Perfect. Wonderful. Amazing.

See, this is why she's never been a one night stand kind of girl. Too many unknown variables.

She retreats to the Ambo and climbs up into the back. Her first day of work and she's already screwed an officer. That's exactly the kind of reputation that a new girl needs. _Fuck._

"Brett!"

She grimaces at the sound of Matt's voice, but turns to face him anyway. She made this bed and now she has to lay in it. (Unlike what they did last night which involved no bed at all.) Oh, Jesus, is she gonna be thinking about the sex every time she sees him now?

"Yes?" She asks as she feels her muscles tense anxiously.

He marches toward her and doesn't stop until he's sitting across from her in the back of the rig. His Adam's Apple bobs as he swallows down nerves. "Do you mind if we talk? Just for a minute?"

She does actually, but running away from her problems is what got her into this mess to begin with so maybe she should face her mistakes this time. "Um, sure, yeah. We should do that."

He stares at her for several seconds as if he's not quite sure what to say and then rubs the back of his neck. He glances down at her feet as he speaks. "So, this is awkward."

Despite the situation, that makes her laugh.

"You think?" She asks with a small grin.

He reflects her grin back at her but still doesn't meet her eyes. "To start with, we're clear about last night, right? It was a one time thing. Just two people being alone together, yeah?"

She nods and releases a relieved sigh. "Yes, absolutely, yes. And it stays between us?" She barrels through her question out of nervousness and doesn't give him time to answer. "Because I'm new here and the last thing I, or any woman really, need is a rumor going around about sleeping with an officer-"

"I get it," he says immediately. "Trust me. I'm not telling a soul. Well-" He cuts himself off and winces. "Maybe one soul, but he won't tell anyone. I swear. Likewise, this isn't really the time for people to be talking about me and another paramedic. This house has been through a lot and there's an asshole on another truck who would just love to use this against me."

She nods feeling her anxiety settle the longer he talks. They're on the exact same page. There's no need to panic. "Thank God. As far as I'm concerned, the Matt I met last night was a totally different Matt unrelated to the fire service in any way."

They share a secretive smile before he speaks again.

"You know, strangely enough, I met someone last night too." He squints and feigns confusion. "I think her name was...Sydney?"

She laughs and then scrunches her nose in disgust. "Well, glad that wasn't me then. I hate that name."

"Now that we're pretending last night never happened," Matt begins, finally meeting her eyes again. "Can we take a mulligan?"

"A what?" She asks in confusion.

He smiles softly at her before trying again. "It means start over. It's a golf thing."

"Oh! Got it! Sure, absolutely," she answers with an embarrassed blush. She squares her shoulders and sticks her hand out toward his again. "Sylvie Brett. I'm the new paramedic on 61."

He shakes her hand briefly (professionally) before pulling away. "Lieutenant Matt Casey, but you can call me Casey. I don't expect anyone to use my rank unless it's work related."

"Got it," she says with a firm nod. "Well, it's nice to officially meet you, Casey."

His smile is warm and a bit affectionate. She wonders if he's also remembering their goodbye from this morning. If he is, he doesn't mention it. "You too, Brett. Good talk."

He steps out of the ambo and then turns to face her, sweeping his arm across the apparatus floor while he speaks. "Oh, and welcome to 51."

"Thank you," she replies with an easy smile. "Happy to be here."

Accidentally sleeping with a lieutenant in her firehouse aside, she really and truly is happy to be here. She likes 51. She likes Shay. This new life could be the start of something bigger and better than anything she ever had in Fowlerton.

"Hey," Shay calls as she steps out onto the apparatus floor. She looks over her shoulder as she approaches. Sylvie has no doubt she passed Matt on her way out here. "What was that back there with Casey?"

"Oh, um, nothing. We're all good," she tells her with a dismissive wave of her hand. "Just a misunderstanding."

"Just curious, what kind of misunderstanding involves sleeping together?" Shay asks in a dramatic whisper.

Sylvie stammers with wide eyes and a flushed face. "No! No, we didn't - he and I have never - What would make you think that?"

Shay smirks and then tugs at her own rounded shirt collar. "You got a little beard burn right about here."

"What?" She exclaims as she self consciously brings her hand to her neck. "I triple checked that this shirt would absolutely cover it before I-" Shay is grinning like a madwoman and Sylvie immediately realizes her mistake. She turns bright red and groans in mortification. "I don't actually have any visible beard burn, do I?"

"Nope," Leslie tells her, popping the 'p' for emphasis.

"You are devious!" Sylvie accuses.

Instead of ashamed, Shay looks proud. She stands up straighter and beams at her. "Thank you!"

"You can't tell anyone!" Sylvie pleads as she jumps down from the ambo. "He and I agreed that we wouldn't! Honestly, it was probably a mistake. It's just...I'm starting to see that my last relationship was a total joke and that I let him walk all over me and I've been a little lonely since I got to town so I went out for a drink and Matt- _Casey_ -was there. And he seemed lonely too and we just-"

Shay holds up a hand to stop her from rambling.

Sylvie snaps her mouth shut and gives her an apologetic glance. "I'm sorry. I-I overshare when I'm nervous."

"You don't have to explain anything to me," Shay tells her with a sympathetic smile. "I have no right to judge how anyone processes grief and I have a penchant for one night stands myself so...I understand. More than most."

Sylvie blows out a breath and nods. "Thank you."

"But I feel like I should tell you...the paramedic you're replacing-"

"I told you, I'm not replacing Dawson. I know she meant a lot to everyone here and I would never presume to-"

"Relax, Brett," Shay says as she steps closer and puts a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I'm not accusing you of anything. I'm just trying to give you a heads up." Leslie pauses and this time Sylvie doesn't interrupt. She can sense that whatever her new partner is wanting to tell her, it's important. "Dawson did mean a lot to everyone here. She was a beautiful badass with the whole world at her feet. But...she especially meant a lot to Casey. Just before we got the call for that apartment building - God, I don't know if I should be telling you this but what the hell, I think you need to know. Look, just before we got that call, he proposed. Grand gesture, down on one knee, the whole nine and then…"

...and _then._ Neither of them need her to finish her sentence. Sylvie can feel a part of her heart cracking in her chest. God, poor Matt. She can't imagine what it would feel like to come that close only to lose the person you loved _for good_.

"That's awful," Sylvie says as she swallows back empathetic tears. "I-he said he lost someone but I never thought...God, I'm so sorry. For all of you."

"It gets worse for him, though," Shay starts. She takes a beat and looks as if she'd like to take back her last words. "It's Casey's story to tell I guess, but you should know he had a fiance before Gabby. He lost her too. In a fire."

She plays back their conversation from the night before and things begin to click into place. Comments she'd thought were strange, suddenly fit. "He told me he thinks he's cursed," Sylvie informs her with a sad sigh. "I didn't get it last night, but now I understand."

Shay nods slowly with a look of heartbreaking clarity. "Yeah, that sounds like Matt Casey, alright."

"I don't know what to do with any of this," Sylvie states as her brow furrows in concern.

"I'm not sure there's anything either of us can do," Leslie says as she squeezes Sylvie's shoulder. "For now, anyway."

Sylvie bites her bottom lip as Shay walks away from her. Her partner can tell her there's nothing they can do all she wants, but Sylvie refuses to believe that. Maybe the answer isn't obvious, but it has to be there.

Somewhere.


	4. I Get By

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sylvie has a good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** This is the last chapter that involves 301! Hope you guys like it!  
> Happy reading!
> 
> angellwings

* * *

"What do I do when my love is away?

Does it worry you to be alone?

How do I feel by the end of the day?

Are you sad because you're on your own?

No, I get by with a little help from my friends."

-"With a Little Help From My Friends" by Joe Cocker

* * *

Her second shift at 51 goes even better than the first. She's adjusting and getting to know people. She's grateful that everyone has been so welcoming. The situation is tricky and she does feel as though she's sometimes walking on eggshells. Casey was absolutely right yesterday, this house has been through a lot. She doesn't want to add to that in any way.

She finds it unbelievable that her partner has been so accepting of her. A little coldness would have been natural and entirely expected after such a big loss, but she never felt any of that from Leslie. Don't get her wrong, there are moments when Shay looks at her and Sylvie can tell she's thinking of Dawson. But the words "Dawson did it this way" never once left Leslie's lips. Sylvie appreciates that more than Shay probably knows.

She has big shoes to fill. She's well aware of that. No reminders necessary.

And she still hasn't puzzled out what to do with Matt— _Casey_. Pretending they never slept together has been easier than she thought. He's a completely different person at work, most of the time. She rarely sees the Matt she met that night at Molly's. In a way, she's grateful for that but it also makes her sad.

He's so serious and focused. She knows it's probably a side effect of his grief but she wishes he'd relax — just a little.

They'll never be lovers, she knows, but she'd like to be his friend. If it's at all possible to go from one and done fuck buddies to friends, that is.

They get a call and it's an insane call. One they never would have gotten in Fowlerton. A car turned over on a fire hydrant with a woman trapped underwater in the passenger seat. Sylvie felt a lot like a novice last shift. Chicago is far more hectic than anything she'd seen back home. It's natural to have a learning curve. But she'd still like to feel a bit more comfortable in her own skin. Learning to intubate a burn victim last shift was interesting, but standing by and watching while her partner did the work was frustrating. She's eager to make up for it.

So, when the victim is brought to them and there's too much damage to her mouth to intubate, Sylvie knows this is her moment. Shay is struggling to find the kit they need but Sylvie sees something that'll work instead. Small town EMTs don't have a lot of resources. You work with what you've got. It means she's accustomed to a lot of improvisation.

She uses some spare tubing and a pair of scissors to safely puncture the victim's throat and assist with breathing. She takes it as a serious compliment when Shay's eyebrows lift and she says, "Huh, never seen that one before."

She doesn't ask her where she learned it. She just smirks and tosses her the keys.

"You drive, farmgirl. Fastest way through the loop is Lower Wacker."

She knows what being handed the keys means. She's passed her first test — earned her first bit of respect. Her skin feels like it fits a little easier all of a sudden. That impressed look of pride in Shay's eyes is intoxicating. She wants to impress her more often. Is having a partner who makes you want to be a better paramedic common? She feels like most EMTs she's spoken with spend the day simply _getting through_. Realizing she won't have to do that makes her appreciate 51 even more.

They get back to the station and Shay fist bumps her once she parks the Ambo.

"Good work, partner," she says with a wide smile. "I owe you a beer at Molly's tonight."

"Really?" She asks eagerly. That's the first time she's been _invited_ out for a drink since moving to Chicago.

"Yeah, you should come and hang out. Most of 51 will be there. It'll be fun," Leslie assures her. "Your first beer's on me as a congratulations."

"Okay," Sylvie agrees with an enthusiastic nod. "I'll be there."

They clean up and change since that last call bumped into the end of their shift. As she's leaving, she spots Matt. His bag is slung over his shoulder and his keys are in his hand but every step he takes away from the firehouse increases the dread in his eyes.

She knows that feeling. That's how a person looks when they don't want to go home.

"Hey, Casey," she greets with a chipper grin.

"Brett," he acknowledges with a formal nod. "Congratulations. I heard you had a good day today."

"You did?" She asks happily.

"I did," he tells her with a small smile. "Shay likes to brag."

"That's sweet," Sylvie replies with a light blush. "I really like Shay. She's a great partner. Great teacher too. Actually, I think I just really like 51. This is a great house."

"The best house," he adds. "In my opinion, anyway."

"You all seem very close."

"We are," he agrees. "We've been through a lot together."

"Still, I bet it's hard sometimes. Being so close," she says observantly. "It's hard to confide in the people who mean the most to you. Especially, when it might be something a little more intense than they're used to."

His brow furrows and he stops walking to give her a curious look. "What exactly are you trying to say?"

She shrugs and smiles sympathetically at him. "Just that sometimes it's easier to confide in someone with no preconceived notions of who you're supposed to be. I know that first hand. And while I don't know exactly what you're going through right now, I _can_ tell you that you look like someone who needs to talk. And I'm someone who barely knows you. So, I guess, what I'm saying is, if you ever want to confide in a total stranger...I'm here. In addition to being a total stranger, I'm also a really good listener. Or so I'm told."

His curious but wary face melts into a fond smile. He chuckles and nods. "Well, thank you. I'll keep that in mind."

"Good, and I'll leave my ringer on. Just in case."

* * *

He thinks over that last conversation with Sylvie— _Brett_ —his entire drive home. It makes him smile, which is rare these days, and only causes the fondness he feels toward her to grow. He doesn't want a relationship. He's not ready for that. Doesn't know if he ever will be.

But he has no doubt she'd be a wonderful friend if he let her.

They can work past the awkwardness of sleeping together. Hell, they mostly already have. Once they finish doing that, he thinks he'd really like to consider her a friend. Maybe even a confidant.

His feet slow down as he gets out of the truck and enters his building. Every day this walk to his apartment gets slower — as if he's wading through quick dry concrete. Today, though, at the end of his excruciating path, he finds a surprise.

 _Kelly Severide_.

And a huge stack of flattened cardboard boxes.

"What's this?" He asks as he comes to a stop in front of him.

"Moving day," Kelly announces. "You're staying with me and Shay in Otis's old room."

"No, Severide, I couldn't—"

"Too late. Shay's fine with it. We have the space. It's done. So, come on, let's pack this place up and get the hell out of dodge," Severide insists. "You can't keep staying here, man. It's bringing you down. Don't try and deny it. You know I'm right."

He _is_ right. Having to face the memories around 51 and then come home and face _more_ memories is exhausting and depressing. He worked hard on this apartment, but he did it for himself _and Gabby_. Without Gabby all that work means nothing. And dwelling on it only results in things like accidentally sleeping with the new paramedic on 61. It was a bad decision even if he couldn't exactly bring himself to regret it.

He sighs in resignation and nods. "Yeah, Antonio's been asking for some of Gabby's things anyway. I've been putting him off."

Kelly nods with a sad smile. "I don't blame you. But it's all good. We'll tackle it together. Like we do everything else."

Maybe it is harder verbally confiding in his friends, but the thing about _his_ friends is that most of the time he doesn't have to. They read what he's feeling and what he needs in his demeanor, long before he ever admits it. His friends are truly his family. He doesn't know what he'd ever do without them.

* * *

Her opinion on Chicago may finally be moving past "undecided" or at least that's what she hopes. For the first time since arriving here, it's starting to feel a little like home. She glances around Molly's and smiles. She has Shay on one side, Mills on the other, and Otis behind the bar.

They're all chatting and asking her questions. A sense of belonging she's never felt before washes over her. These people could become her people. This place could be her place. She just has to let herself feel it — _believe it_.

"So, what were you up to today?" Sylvie asks Shay as she takes a swig of her well-earned free beer.

"Kelly and I helped Casey move into our place," Leslie told her. "After you and I talked, I talked to Kelly. He'd been worried too. Casey's been showing up to shift early and leaving late. I don't know, we just got the feeling he didn't want to go home. So Kelly ambushed him with boxes and packing tape."

"I got that vibe too. Just this morning actually," Sylvie admitted. "I'm glad you guys did that. I think a fresh start is just what he needs."

"Yeah?" Shay asks with a teasing smirk. "You want him to run away from home too?"

She laughs and shakes her head. "No. Why would you run away from _Chicago_?" She asks.

"Finally on board, are you?" Leslie asks as she clinks her bottle against Sylvie's. "Good! I really don't want Chief to bring in Chout again. He's a nice guy but _damn_ he gets on my nerves."

"That bad, huh?"

"God, yes. Like you on speed."

Sylvie nearly chokes from trying not to laugh mid-swallow. Oh, yes, she loves this place and these people already. Time to start embracing it. Matt was right.

New Sylvie does like Chicago. And _she_ likes New Sylvie.


	5. Crash and Burn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt begins to spiral. Sylvie starts to doubt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** Now we start, 302. To be honest, I only use one thread from the actual episode. The rest of it didn’t really apply to this universe. But for timeline’s sake, that’s where the next few chapters fall. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> angellwings

******

_“And I don't know,_

_I could crash and burn but maybe,_

_At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me._

_So I won't worry about my timing, I want to get it right._

_No comparing, second guessing, no not this time.”_

_-”Sober” by Kelly Clarkson_

******

Matt stumbles into the kitchen, rubbing his temples in a weak attempt to soothe a massive headache. Last time he lost someone, he retreated inward and did his drinking at home. But this time, his home had either been a place he shared with Gabby or a place filled with his coworkers. So, instead, he chose to do his drinking out and then cab it home in the wee hours of the morning. 

But he had rules -- especially after accidentally sleeping with Brett.

He never went out the night before a shift. He never drank at Molly’s. He never let it lead to a one night stand. 

The point, after all, was simply to forget. Besides that, all he has now is his job and he’s not going to screw that up by walking into the firehouse hungover. 

He’s worked too hard and too long to screw it up now.

“You were out late,” Shay says with a quirked brow as she sets two bottles down on the counter in front of him. Tylenol and water.

He swallows the pills dry and then chugs the bottle of water before he even attempts to answer her. She waits, patiently, in nothing but a t-shirt, and her underwear. That’s something he’s had to get used to over the last week. Around the apartment, Shay wears basically nothing and doesn’t give a shit who sees her.

“Like you’ve never had a late night?” He fires back with a smirk.

“Well, yeah,” Leslie replies with a shrug. “But I’m _me_. You’re _Casey_. It’s different.”

“It’s not a big deal,” he says dismissively. “I have nowhere to be today.”

“Yeah, I figured that. Kelly said you haven’t had a construction job in over a month.”

There’s a lecture hidden in that statement somewhere, but he’s too tired, sore, and sick to care. “I don’t need it,” he replies. “51 is enough. That’s where my focus should be.”

Her tone and her expression are dry. “Right. Well, I’m gonna grab a shower and head to the gym. If you’re gonna be out drinking every night that we don’t have shift the next day then you may want to start doing the same. I’d hate to see you pull a Chief Tieberg and develop a beer belly.”

She leaves without another word, her bare feet padding across the apartment until the bathroom door slams behind her.

Safe to say Shay isn’t impressed with the new Casey. A part of him can’t blame her. But then isn’t that the point of all this? To _not_ be Lieutenant Matt Casey?

“I thought I was the one who pulled the all night binges?” Severide asks as he walks into the living room with a coffee cup in hand. 

Matt snorts and lifts a shoulder. “I guess I learned from the best.”

“I don’t like it,” Kelly tells him with a wry smirk. “I feel like I have to balance this out somehow. If you’re doing the heavy drinking then I shouldn’t.”

“Hey, do what you want,” Matt tells him as he reaches the cabinet that holds the mugs. “I’m fine if you wanna be my drinking buddy.”

Kelly gives him a look that’s somehow both surprised and tired. “Nah, I’m good.”

He pours himself a cup of black coffee, takes a long sip, and then grins at Severide. “Suit yourself, but you’re missing out.”

“I’m sure I am,” he deadpans. “Just...watch yourself, man. It’s easy to lose yourself in this kind of thing.”

Matt shakes his head and rolls his eyes. Yeah, that’s kind of the point. “It’s fine. I know what I’m doing.”

Kelly nods stiffly but his expression still looks too serious for Matt’s liking. “You know, the Chaplain is meeting with anyone who might need coun--”

“I’m good,” Casey replies sternly, narrowing his eyes on his best friend.

“If you say so,” Severide says with a shake of his head. 

His voice turns hard and insistent. He’s tired of people looking at him like he’s broken. He is broken, and he knows that. Hearing his friends try to tell him that is unnecessary. “I say so.”

As long as he shows up for people when it counts, what does it matter how he spends his off time? He’s not hurting anyone or even offending anyone. His drinking only affects him so he’s fine. The last thing he needs is a babysitter.

******

Shift started fine. Busy and a little nuts, but then that’s normal for a house like 51. Or at least as far as Sylvie can tell it’s normal. She hasn’t really been there long enough to know. 

Then they get a call in her neighborhood. She may be new to town but she knows the flash of horror on Shay’s face when she points toward her apartment isn’t good. She can understand the concern. Especially after Truck 81 had to show up to back them up on their call. The addicts that hang around in the alleys and sidewalks got a little too handsy for Lieutenant Casey’s comfort, it seems. 

Shay insists on seeing the place. But the concerned wrinkle in her partner’s brow makes it clear that it’s not a social gesture. 

And she gets it. She really does. Sylvie knows she’s a small town girl who might be in over her head, but the obvious worry on Shay’s face makes her compliments on the apartment seem patronizing. It’s spacious and beautiful on the inside. It just so happens that the location got her a good deal on the rent. What’s wrong with that? 

Also, it’s all she could afford on the money she cobbled together from her life savings. 

When they get back to the firehouse Shay begs off of lunch and then heads for the bunkroom. No doubt to confer with Severide on what they plan to do about sweet and naive Sylvie Brett. 

Ugh. The comfort she thought she found last week slips away just like that. 

What is she doing here? Who is she kidding? She can’t do this. Not by herself. This is just a stupid whim and a waste of her hard earned savings account. She collapses into a chair at the round table at the common area with a hopeless sigh.

Running away isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

“You alright over there, Brett?”

She turns in surprise to find Matt watching her with a crooked mirthful grin. 

“That was a pretty dramatic sigh,” he says observantly. 

“Fine,” she lies.

He gives her a disbelieving look as he pours himself a fresh cup of coffee. 

She groans miserably. He’s not going to let her get away with her fib.

“It’s just...I know I’m not a city girl but I’m not completely stupid either. I don’t like being treated like someone who has to be coddled,” she confesses. “But then, I don’t know, maybe I’m as naive as everyone seems to think I am and I should--” 

She cuts off her sentence, thinking better of it. Casey was likely being polite. She can’t imagine he actually wants to know. She’d offered to be his sounding board last week but he hadn’t taken her up on it or reciprocated so as far as she knew he was simply being nice.

“Sorry,” she mumbles. “Nevermind.”

He sits down next to her and then looks at her expectantly. “You should what? Come on, don’t clam up on me now.”

Her teeth sink into her bottom lip as she blinks back tears. She sits on her hands to keep from instinctually rubbing her eyes and drawing attention to the water pooling in her lashes. She’s a mess as it is. It would be humiliating as hell to cry in front of someone who’s not just her lieutenant but also a former one night stand -- which, she thinks sarcastically, isn’t _at all_ messy or awkward. 

“Give up and go home,” she replies in a rush. It hurts her just to say it outloud. Even the thought of going home with her tail tucked between her legs is embarrassing. She can’t imagine actually doing it.

Casey frowns thoughtfully, a crease forming in between his eyebrows as the corners of his mouth noticeably dip. 

“Wow,” he says, looking much more disappointed than she expects. “Is this coming from the same person who told me she was going to make Chicago her bitch?” He pauses and grins slightly at the memory before the pensive expression appears again. “Because I don’t see that person giving up so easily. Unless...unless I misjudged you.”

She sucks in a breath and tries to let his discontent bounce off of her. She barely knows him. What does his opinion matter?

Except that somehow it does. She likes him -- no, not like _that_ \-- and respects him. More than that, she trusts him. He seems to think she can still do this. He’s been at 51 practically forever based on the photographs that adorn the walls alone. If he thinks she can survive Chicago then maybe…

“Did I misjudge you?” He asks as he meets her eyes. He’s still frowning, but his eyes are brighter. They look...encouraging.

A small lopsided grin forms on her lips before she shakes her head at him. “No. You didn’t.”

“I didn’t think so,” he states as he reflects a grin back at her. He leans back in his chair and teasingly bumps her shoulder with his. “I can’t pretend to know what it’s like to be new in Chicago. I’ve lived here my whole life. But I can tell you that, like anything else, there’s a learning curve. You’ll catch on provided you stay long enough to get a little experience under your belt. In the meantime, cut yourself some slack. Give yourself a chance. You never know what you’re capable of until you try, right?”

Her grin blossoms into a full smile. “Yeah, you’re right. I didn’t pick up and move my whole life just to give up and go home after a few months.” She mimics his earlier gesture and bumps his shoulder too. “Making Chicago my bitch is just gonna take a little more time than I expected.”

He laughs lightly and nods decisively. “That’s the spirit.”

“Thanks, Casey,” she tells him with a grateful glance.

As he stands, he briefly gives her shoulder a friendly pat. 

“Anytime,” he promises.

As she watches him go, she wonders if he means it.


	6. Gotta Face It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit hits the fan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** So, yesterday I rewatched most of S3 and took notes on the changes I plan to make! I hope you guys will enjoy what I have in mind! Like I said, this is gonna be a long game for my OTP. I hope you guys are ready to play it ;) 
> 
> Yet again, I want to give a shout out to katertots for helping me with this! She did some edits to part of this chapter that really made it a lot easier to read and envision. Honestly, she is the Matt Casey whisperer. She’s so deeply inside of his head and it’s IMPRESSIVE.
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> angellwings

******

_“Another glass of whiskey but it still don't kill the pain,_

_So he stumbles to the sink and pours it down the drain._

_He said it's time to be a man and stop living for yesterday._

_Gotta face it.”_

_-”Wasted” by Carrie Underwood_

******

He was supposed to be out later than this.

But that last bar got sick of him and kicked him out.

He supposes that’s a sign he should go home -- even if that’s the last place he wants to be. Having plans to drink means his truck is still at the apartment, and it’ll take too long to flag down a cab so he hoofs it. Plus, maybe the walk will sober him up and save him the worried glances from Shay and Severide. 

It’s too late to turn around and walk a little longer by the time he realizes the walk wasn’t anywhere near long enough to make a difference. He stumbles through the apartment door -- his vision swimming and his reactions sluggish -- to find Shay and _Brett_ sitting around their coffee table with a laptop in between them.

He blinks at them for several minutes. He’s partially convinced he’s imagining Brett. Sylvie is the last person he expected to find in his apartment at this time of night.

When they turn to look at him, he points at Sylvie and looks to Shay.

“You see her too, right?”

He tries to take a step closer and nearly trips over an end table. Sylvie’s lips purse and her brows draw together. He recognizes it as worry. If he were imagining her, that’s not the look he’d put on her face. No, he’d choose something sharper -- more heated. More like the determined and dangerous expression she wore that first night at Molly’s. He liked that look. Maybe it’s the alcohol, but he’d like to see that look again. 

“Yeah,” Shay scoffs with an irritated expression. “I see her.”

“Good,” Matt says in exaggerated relief. He grins at Brett and waves slowly. “Sylvie.”

“Casey,” she replies as her brow somehow furrows even deeper. “You okay?”

“Me?” He asks with a chuckle. “Yeah! I’m great! Never been better actually. Went out, had a little fun, got sent home. Not cause’a me. Just cause Mick is a hardass.”

“Mick? Who’s Mick?” Sylvie asks cluelessly.

“The bartender. I mean a guy has a few Irish Car Bombs and suddenly he’s cut off. What’s up with that?” Matt asks in outrage as he draws closer. “M’fine! M’totally fine!”

“Yeah,” she assures him with a halfhearted smile. “You’re fine.” She clears her throat and avoids his gaze before glancing over at Shay. “Thanks for showing me those apartment listings, but I should probably go. It’s getting late.”

She shifts uncomfortably and Matt’s not really sure why. It could be because he’s staring, he guesses. But he’s not trying to. It’s just happening. He can’t stop himself from raking a slow stare up and down her body. She’s wearing tight jeans and a simple blue sleeveless blouse. The shades of blue make her eyes standout against her pale skin and blonde hair. Just because he only slept with her once and told himself he’d never do it again doesn’t mean she suddenly stopped being a knockout. He’s allowed to think she’s pretty, right? That’s not breaking some sort of rule and somehow cheating on your late-almost-fiance, is it?

“Oh no,” Shay says sternly. “You took a cab here and I’m not letting you take a cab back. Not at this time of night. I’ll drive you. Just...let me get my keys.” Leslie stops and glances warily between Matt and Sylvie for a moment. “You gonna be okay in here by yourself, Brett?”

Her eyes slide over him in a quick assessment before she nods. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. It’s okay.”

He waits until Shay’s out of earshot to speak. “You look pretty.”

Pretty? That’s the word he goes with? He hates his drunk brain. He manages to move closer without tripping over himself or any pieces of furniture. He gets close enough for his shoulder to brush hers with more conscious effort than he’d like. Maybe he actually did have one too many Car Bombs.

She lets out a muted chuckle and grins at him. “You look drunk.”

He shrugs and reaches for her hand, wrapping his fingers around hers. “That’s because I am. Doesn’t change the fact that you’re pretty.”

“Matt,” she says with an exasperated sigh. “What are you doing?”

“What? I can’t compliment you?” He asks, feigning innocence.

“Not when you’re also looking at me like you want to swallow me whole, no,” she answers bluntly while pulling her hand back from his. When she continues, her voice sounds admonishing. Like he’s a child who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “We’re just now getting past all the awkwardness from the last time you looked at me like that. I really don’t want to have to start all over. _Please, stop_.”

Her quiet but firm request holds more resentment than he’s ever heard from her. Yet it’s somehow also balanced with sympathy. He’s not sure how she managed it. The result is effective, though. The guilt is as immediate as a bucket of ice water to the face. It sobers him more than the walk home ever would have.

“Shit,” he curses as he takes several steps away from her. “Fuck, I’m a jackass. I--I’m so damn sorry. I shouldn’t have--” Self loathing flares in his chest. Yeah, he’s ten sheets to the wind but even so...he’s been a dick to her. She’s been unbelievably cool about keeping what happened between them a secret and then he-- “I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say. I--”

“It’s okay,” she replies softly. But her eyes are focused on the floor. He knows she’s lying.

“It’s really not. Sylvie--”

“Ready to go?” Shay asks as she emerges from her room with her keys in hand.

“Yeah,” Brett replies quickly. “Please.”

Shay flicks a suspicious glance between the two of them but doesn’t ask any questions. She does toss a glare at him as she leads Sylvie out of the apartment, though. A for sure sign that they’ll be talking about this when she gets home.

In the meantime, he’ll sit on the couch and pray a sinkhole opens up underneath him. What the fuck was that? All Sylvie’s tried to do since she walked into 51 that first morning is be his friend and then he turns around and treats her like a booty call? That’s not him. He knows that’s not him. Except...it might be Drunk Matt. Drunk Matt is a doofy idiot with no filter. For the first time, drinking has affected someone other than himself.

He hurt Sylvie and made her feel uncomfortable -- _unsafe_. 

Whatever Shay planned to do to him when she got back would be deserved. 

Severide was right. It’s easy to get lost in your grief when all you’re doing is trying to numb it. He hasn’t dealt with anything. He’s been avoiding it and shoving it down when it got too much. On especially bad nights, he drank until he forgot it was there. And what good did that do? All he ended up doing was potentially ruining a friendship before it ever got off the ground.

He can’t keep doing this to himself.

Or anyone else, for that matter.

“Get it the fuck together, Casey,” he mutters to himself as he burries his head in his hands. “Now is not the time to become your old man.”

Because that’s exactly where he’s headed if he keeps this up. He’ll become the man he swore he’d never be. No way in hell is that ever happening.

He won’t let it.

******

Sylvie’s not sure what to do when she shows up for work next shift.

On one hand, she understands that Matt’s going through a shit ton of emotions right now. Grief and guilt and loss and overwhelming amounts of pain. If you add in the fact that, according to Shay, this is not the first time he’s dealt with a loss of this magnitude then it makes it even worse. So, she can see how going out and getting wasted might feel like an appropriate solution. Her heart breaks for him and everything he’s had to go through. It’s so awful that she honestly doesn’t want to sit and dwell on it for too long. She’s a very empathetic person and she may just burst into tears on his behalf.

But on the other hand, she never imagined Matt Casey would make her feel so...objectified. She trusted him from the first moment he spoke to her. She had no real reason for it. She just did. And now…

Now, a little of that trust is broken. 

She’s angry and hurt but she also doesn’t want to pile on. What should she say to him? How does she act? Does she go with concern or censure? Her thoughts and feelings conflict with her compassion and she _hates_ it.

Lucky for her, he’s late. At the morning briefing, Boden announced Matt had an appointment for the first two hours of shift and that Herrmann would be acting Lieutenant on Truck until Casey returned. 

She hoped that would give her time to figure herself out.

Her hopes were wrong.

He walks through the door around ten that morning and she still has no idea how to approach him. 

So, she doesn’t. No, instead, she actively avoids him like a coward. She shouldn’t feel guilty about it. Afterall, he’s the one who behaved badly, not her. But she feels the guilt anyway because that’s just who she is. 

She barely sees him for the entire 24 hours and the only explanation is that he’s avoiding her too. Or possibly respecting her nonverbal signals and giving her a wide berth. She doesn’t know him too well yet, but she’d bet on a combination of both. 

The night after shift rolls around and she decides to go to Molly’s. She doesn’t have anything else to do that night and Herrmann has been pretty insistent about her coming by. He said he owed her a ‘welcome to the family’ drink. She would hate to disappoint him.

As soon as she walks through the door she spots Casey at the bar. He looks up when the door closes and his eyes clash with hers. For a lingering honest moment, she sees everything he feels. Regret, sorrow, self loathing. One thing she doesn’t see, that unfocused hazy quality people take on when they’re drunk. His eyes are clear and present. 

It’s enough to get her feet moving in his direction. Maybe she shouldn’t. Maybe she should just walk away from him completely. But that’s not her way. Never has been. 

In her mind, if you stop giving people a second chance then they stop having one. 

Given everything he’s going through, she believes he deserves another chance. One night of drinking shouldn’t make a person unforgivable. 

She takes the stool next to him and clears her throat awkwardly. “Hi.”

He looks not only surprised to see her but to hear her voice too. “Hey.”

There’s a beat of tense silence and then…

“Sylv-- _Brett_ , can we talk? You know, about...about the other night?”

She turns to look at him and then down at the half empty glass in his hands. The liquid is clear but that doesn’t mean it’s water. He offers an explanation before she can ask.

“I’ve had one beer and then water for the rest of the night. I swear,” he tells her, purposefully catching her stare with his own. “And I will keep my hands to myself at all times.”

She hesitates but nods slowly. “Okay. Here or outside?”

He glances around the bar anxiously and then nods toward the door. “Outside. If that’s okay with you?”

She lets him lead her outside and down the sidewalk, just a few feet from the entrance. They were just far enough away to keep people going in and out from interrupting them. 

“Look,” he starts, eyes deeply apologetic as he shoves his hands in his pockets. “I was drunk and out of line the other night.”

She nods in agreement.

“It was a wake up call for me, Brett. I consider you a friend and no one should ever treat their friends like that. Guess I wouldn’t blame you if you never spoke to me again, but--” Matt pauses, blowing out a ragged breath. “I went to see Chaplain Orlovsky at the start of shift, and I’m going to see him twice a week from now on. So, before you cut ties, I just thought you should know. From here on out I’m making a real effort. It’ll never happen again. I promise.”

“That’s good, Casey,” Sylvie replies as a wan smile appears on her face. “And I’m not going to cut ties or ignore you. Even if I wanted to, that would be impossible. We work together.”

His brows knit in confusion. “So, you’re still talking to me? I was an asshole.”

“Yes, you were,” Sylvie tells him as she crosses her arms over her chest. “But, as you said, you were drunk. And I guess I’m less concerned about what happened than _why_ it happened. So, hearing that you’re talking to someone about it goes a long way with me. You’ve seemed like a good guy from that very first night and I’m choosing to believe that first impression was the correct one.”

He looks completely floored and, if she’s not mistaken, even more self loathing than he did the other night. Which she doesn’t understand. She’s learning, more and more every day, that Matt Casey is a complicated man. She wonders if she’ll ever reach a point where she can tell what’s going on in his head because right now...she’s flying blind. 

“Thank you,” he replies softly. “You’re…” His sentence fades and he shakes his head, a look of wonder on his face.

“I’m what?” She asks, curiously.

“I don’t know exactly,” he admits. “Generous, for sure. Kind, compassionate -- Just... _impressive_ is the word, I guess.” 

She has no idea what to say to that. No one’s ever called her impressive before. So, she decides to gloss over it. This conversation was painful enough without adding her awkwardness to it.

“Thanks,” she mutters before motioning over Matt’s shoulder to Molly’s. “We should get back. They’ll notice we’re gone soon.”

There’s a brief moment where all he does is stare at her in silent amusement before he chuckles and nods. “Absolutely,” he says, motioning for her to go first. “You lead the way.”

She’s relieved to get back to everyone else. Rebuilding the little bit of trust they lost and finding some semblance of normal will be easier around other people. It’ll take the edge off. Or she hopes it will. She doesn’t want any tension or unresolved hurts in her new life. She had enough of that in her old one. 


	7. Helping Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shay calls it a night for all of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** Well, that last chapter had a bit of mixed reaction, lol. Matt isn’t perfect, especially when he’s grieving or spinning out, as we’ve seen on the show. But he always sets it right eventually. So, just have a little faith. ;) It’ll all work out. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading and commenting and interacting! I appreciate it so much! 
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> angellwings

******

_“When you're down and troubled,_

_And you need a helping hand,_

_And nothing, nothing is going right._

_Close your eyes and think of me,_

_And soon I will be there,_

_To brighten up even your darkest night.”_

_-”You’ve Got a Friend” by Carole King_

******

Kelly’s had an above average good time tonight, that much is clear to the entire bar. He’s been just a tad overserved, and now Shay wants to get him home.

“Alright,” Shay says with a laugh as she pick pockets Kelly’s jacket for his car keys. “Let’s get you home, big guy.”

Without even glancing over at Sylvie, Leslie fires off a question while she puts on her jacket. “Partner, how’d you get here tonight?”

“Uh, cab,” she answers, looking guilty. Matt isn’t sure why.

Shay sighs and shakes her head.

“It’s awkward asking someone for a ride when I am more than capable of getting here on my own, Shay.”

“Better you be awkward than mugged on your front stoop,” Leslie tells her with a parental glare. She turns to face Matt as she pulls Kelly off of his bar stool. “Can I trust you to get her home? Have you guys straightened out whatever happened the other night?”

“Yeah,” Matt answers immediately. “I can take her home. Not a problem.”

Maybe he sounds a little too eager, but he’s got a lot to make up for.

“Does anyone want to ask me if I actually need a ride--”

“No,” Shay replies, cutting off Brett’s protest. “Casey’s gonna take you home--as long as he’s got his head out of his ass.” 

He feels Leslie’s pointed glare before he sees it.

Casey nods and blushes in embarrassment. He deserved that. “Yes, my head is firmly out of my ass.”

“Okay, then it’s settled. See you guys later.”

Shay walks away leaving Sylvie stammering in her wake. 

She huffs and then turns to Matt with fond eye roll. “Look, I know she’s worried about me, but you really don’t have to take me home. I’ll be fine in a cab.”

He grimaces at her and shakes his head. “See, you haven’t been around to see Leslie Shay’s temper. I have. If I don’t give you a ride home then I tempt her wrath. That’s not something I’m willing to do.”

“Even if you owe me big time?” She asks sweetly.

“Even then,” he replies with a chuckle. 

“Ugh, fine,” she says with a resigned huff. Her resignation turns into a reluctant smile. “Thank you. I appreciate it.”

“Happy to do it,” he assures her.

“I’ll just settle up with Herrmann and then we can go.”

He nods as she walks away to pay her tab. While he waits, he puts on his jacket, drops cash on the bar, and fishes his keys out of his pocket. By the time that’s done, Brett is making her way back over to him. He leads her out the door and down the street to his truck. They load up but the silence between them is far from comfortable. He knows he apologized and she accepted it, but the issue doesn’t feel resolved to him. 

He thinks about some of the things he discussed with Chaplain Orlovsky that morning and has the strange urge to share some of it with Sylvie. He can’t explain it, but his instincts tell him she’ll listen. That she won’t judge. They’ve only known each other for a short while but she showed him more forgiveness tonight than most people would have. That makes her exceptionally caring. He admires that. 

“Do you know why I drank?” He asks her.

“I have my theories,” she answers. “But I don’t know for sure, no.”

“Shoving down the pain wasn’t working on it’s own anymore,” he confesses. “The alcohol helped me forget.”

“Forget what, specifically?”

He shakes his head and swallows thickly. “Everything. It numbed me to all the things that came before the building collapse. So much of my life included Gabby. Everywhere I looked there was some piece of her around.” He points at Molly’s ornate front door. “We picked out that door together. Repurposed it. We’d started remodeling the apartment in phases so it sat half finished for six weeks until Severide helped me move. Hell, her engagement ring is still in my quarters at 51. Everywhere I go, she’s there. And there’s only so much of that I can pack down before it overflows. So the drinking...it was like a temporary fix. I knew deep down it wouldn’t last, but it was easier than addressing the real issues.”

A hand lands on his shoulder and squeezes gently. It was somehow easier to talk to her. She has no expectations of how he should express himself and no assumptions of what he’s been through. She tried to tell him last week, but he didn’t listen then. But he’s listening to her advice now.

“Then it’s a good thing you’ll be seeing the Chaplain,” she encourages. “If you talk to him the way you’re talking to me then maybe you won’t need to lock it all away so tightly. Yeah, you made a bit of a mess these last few weeks, but you’re taking control of it now. You’re doing the right thing. That’s what counts.”

Her words hit him square in the chest. They don’t absolve him of anything, but they do inspire him. She’s right. He can’t change the past, but he can control his behavior in the present.

“Thank you, Brett,” he says as he meets her eyes with a grateful expression.

“I meant what I said last week, Casey. My ringer is always on. If you need to talk, all you have to do is reach out.” She squeezes his shoulder again before pulling her hand away. “I’m happy to listen.”

He nods and smiles fondly at her. “I might take you up on that someday.”

“Please do. Really.”

Her expression is earnest and hopeful as he starts the truck and pulls onto the road. He clears his throat, willing the melancholy away. It’s been a strange night. They both need a subject change.

“So, where’s your place?” He asks.

She mercifully lets the conversation change course and directs him to her apartment. The further they go, the more he starts to recognize the neighborhood.

“Is this the same neighborhood where your call was the other day? The one I had my guys back you up on?” He asks as his brow furrows. 

She bites her bottom lip and nods. “Yeah,” she points across the street. “I’m right over there.”

“You live _here_? In _Pilsen_?” He asks. He tries not to show his distaste but he knows he fails. This neighborhood is scary as fuck.

“I didn’t exactly have a lot of options when I first showed up here,” she says defensively. “Besides, don’t judge a book by it’s cover. The inside is beautiful. Hardwood floors. Original detailing. There’s gorgeous picture molding. If it wasn’t in this crappy location I wouldn’t be able to afford it.”

It was an old enough building on the outside that he could buy that. As long as the landlord took care of the place, there’s no reason it couldn’t be. 

“I believe you,” he tells her with a grin. “That place have an alarm system?”

“Um, no,” she says sheepishly. 

He winces. “You sure you don’t want to look at some of those listings Shay found?”

She sighs and chuckles softly. “I’m gonna tell you what I told Shay. I appreciate it, but I’m fine where I am.”

He smirks and nods. “Fair enough. We’re all just...trying to look out for you, that’s all.”

“I know,” she replies with a smile. “51’s good at that. It’s nice.”

“Something you’ll learn real quick,” Matt tells her with a proud grin. “51 shows up for each other. Every time.”

“I’m starting to notice,” she admits with a fond expression. “Thanks for the ride, Casey.”

“Of course,” he says, deflecting her gratitude. “I’ll wait till you get inside.”

As Matt watches Sylvie walk into her apartment and lock the door behind her, he breathes a sigh of relief. First, because she got home safe and, second, because the friendship they’d been building wasn’t gone for good. He’d groveled and explained himself and, by some miracle, it worked. 

He hopes Sylvie sticks around. She brought something unique to the firehouse -- warmth, positivity, light. Sometimes they all get so caught up in the horrors and atrocities they walk up on call after call that they lose sight of the big picture. Sylvie seems like the type to help them with that. Given recent losses, a little warmth and light should go a long way to finding their new version of normal.


	8. Things to Come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Just drive the truck."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** This chapter is set during 303. Next chapter begins 304. ;) I hope you all enjoy it!
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> angellwings

******

_“Been walking my mind to an easy time, my back turned towards the sun._

_Lord knows when the cold wind blows it'll turn your head around._

_Well, there's hours of time on the telephone line to talk about things to come._

_Sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground.”_

_-”Fire and Rain” by James Taylor_

******

The next shift they work, things between her and Matt seem fine. They’re still just barely friends, but she’s as comfortable around him as she can be considering she’s still getting over the fact that he’s seen her naked (among other things).

The bells go off and while on their way to the scene a Mayday call blasts over the radio.

_“Mayday, mayday! This is Squad 3 to Main! Truck 81, Truck 66 have collided on the corner of 24th and Wabash. Gonna need ambulances! As many as you can get! This is bad!”_

“That’s Severide!” Shay yells, holding her hands out in front of Sylvie. “Hold it!”

Holy shit! That’s Casey and his crew! She slams the breaks and looks to her partner for an answer. “That’s like 5 blocks back! What do we do?”

“61 to Main! We’re nearest to the accident. Request to take the accident instead,” Shay asks into her radio -- looking as anxious and frantic as Sylvie feels.

_“Stand-by, 61.”_

“Standy-by?” Shay asks in outrage to no one in particular. “This is life and death, you idiots.”

_“Affirmative, 61. Take in the accident.”_

She’s turning the ambo around before Shay even has to ask. 

By the time they pull up on the scene most of the firefighters are out of the wrecked trucks and helping save their colleagues. It’s a shocking sight to see when they step out of the rig. Usually these guys are the ones doing the saving and this time they _need_ to be saved themselves. She does not like the worry flowing through her entire body. They’ll be fine. They’ll all be fine.

“Shay!” 

The worry eases at the sound of Matt’s voice calling out for their attention. Her eyes follow Shay as she catches up with Casey. Brett’s still grabbing the jump bag.

“Casey!” Shay calls back. “You alright?”

He nods. “I’m okay. We got a lot of guys who need help.”

She’s still crossing to the scene so she misses his detailed rundown of injuries. She walks up to them mid spiel.

“Mouch got banged up.”

He meets her eyes with a silent assurance that he really is okay and, despite the cuts on his face, that’s good enough for her.

“Okay, I’ll go check on Mouch,” she tells them as she sprints away. 

The scene is chaos. Mouch is close to panicking over not being able to see out of one eye. Cruz is spiraling into a pit of guilt and self doubt. Once Mouch and MacFarland are in the Ambo it gets even crazier because all they do is argue the entire ride to Med. Fingers are already being pointed in one direction or the other.

She hears Shay let out an exasperated breath through the window into the back of the rig and knows they’re all in for a long few days.

They drop off Mouch and MacFarland. Sylvie sticks around with Mouch while Shay goes to keep an eye on MacFarland and wait for Severide. Once Mouch has been treated and assessed, she walks away to find anybody else from 51. 

She just so happens to find Matt first, pacing next to the nurses’ station. 

“Hey,” she says as she stops in the middle of his path. 

He pauses just short of mowing her over. “Hey.”

She glances at the cuts on his face and realizes he hasn’t stopped to get himself treated. She opens her mouth to ask but he speaks before she can.

“What’s the word on Mouch?” Casey asks.

“He’ll be fine. Doc says his vision will be fully restored,” Brett answers.

“Good. That’s really good. I’m gonna go check on him.”

She sighs and lightly grabs his arm as he tries to pass her. 

He spins and looks at her impatiently. “What?”

“Take care of yourself first, Lieutenant. Let me look at those lacerations,” she insists as she points to the side of her own face. 

“They’re shallow,” he says with a shrug. “It’s fine.”

“Not fine,” she rebuts. “Let me see.”

When it’s clear to him that she’s not leaving until he does as she says, he scoffs and leans closer. “Happy now?”

She rolls her eyes and takes a close examination of the cuts on the side of his face. She can make out debris and even a tiny piece of glass. 

“No,” she answers with a sigh. “I’m not. Casey, you have to get this flushed. And I mean now or else you risk infection. Go get treated _then_ go check on Mouch.”

“I’m his Lieutenant,” Matt replies with a head shake. “I need to—“

“Mouch has been treated. Unlike you,” she tells him with a stern glare. “He’s fine.” She pauses and waits for him to move and when he doesn’t she purses her lips and points toward the nurse’s station. “ _Go_.”

He huffs and then nods, briskly walking off to find a nurse. She knows there’s a lot going on right now and she knows Casey has a lot of eyes on him. Not to mention, two of his guys are in tough spots. Cruz especially. But what sort of friend would she be if she didn’t make sure he looked out for _himself_ too?

******

After shift, everyone at 51 agreed to go to the hospital and wait for news on the driver of 66, Molina. She showed up and found Shay, but didn’t see Severide or Casey. 

“They’re outside,” Shay explains. “I’m supposed to text if 51’s Lieutenants are needed. Being this close to a potential line of duty death is hard for all of us, so close to losing Gabby. But it’s the hardest on Casey. Kelly’s keeping him company for now.”’

Turns out, Leslie doesn’t need to text them. They walk in a few minutes later with Cruz, Otis, and Herrmann. It doesn’t take long after that for tempers to clash between the two Truck companies. Matt ends up asking Cruz to leave. Cruz doesn’t take it well. Sylvie completely understands but she’s more worried about the guilt and stress on Matt’s face. He clearly hates what he just did, but it was the right decision. Things are hard enough for Molina’s wife. She doesn’t need to hear arguing in the middle of all of this. 

Herrmann hammers out the fundraiser details with Welch while Matt comes over to sit between her and Shay. 

Shay huffs and declares what they’re all thinking. “This sucks ass.”

Kelly slumps into the open seat on the other side of her and nods. “Cruz is taking the heat and yeah, it sucks, but there’s nothing we can do about it until Molina’s out of the woods.”

“If he’s out of the woods,” Matt mutters glumly. He looks between their small group and shakes his head. “They discussed criminal charges.”

“For Cruz?” Sylvie asks, appalled. “But there’s no way this is his fault. I mean I haven’t been at 51 that long but even _I_ know you guys aren’t petty enough to risk an accident just to reach a fire first.”

There’s a tiny twitch at the corner of Matt’s mouth that almost resembles a grin before he meets her eyes with a crisp nod. “You’d be right about that, but the White Shirts don’t care about reputation. Just evidence. Right now the only evidence they have is Cruz on film blowing the light.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Sylvie says just quiet enough for the four of them to hear. “Cruz is good at his job and Welch is a bully. Everyone here -- except maybe the guys from 66 -- knows it’s far more likely that Truck 66 was at fault.”

“You can be right, but that doesn’t mean any one with power will admit that,” Kelly grumbles.

“I hate this,” Matt says suddenly. His expression looks completely wrecked. Sylvie gets the impression this outburst has been building since the accident. “I hate that Cruz is under fire. I hate that Molina is touch and go. And I _hate_ being this close to another line-of-duty death. I can’t do this again. Not yet.”

Shay rubs a comforting hand across Casey’s shoulders and swallows thickly. “Me either.”

Severide’s hand wraps around Leslie’s in a show of solidarity, but he doesn’t add any additional comments. A melancholy overtakes them that’s overwhelmingly palpable. Sylvie never knew Gabby, but even she keenly feels her loss based on proximity to Casey, Shay, and Severide alone. 

Sylvie can’t explain it, but something tells her she needs to get them out of Med. They can’t stay here and wallow in reminders of the family member they lost. Sylvie reaches over and squeezes Matt’s arm before standing and crossing the room to Herrmann.

“Hey, Herrmann,” she says softly.

“Hey, Brett,” he replies with a kind smile. “Do you need something?”

“I don’t,” she answers honestly before discretely nodding toward Casey, Shay, and Severide. “But I think they do. You offered up Molly’s earlier, for the fundraiser, do you need any help with the arrangements?”

His smile grows as she realizes what she’s up to and he nods. “You know, as a matter of fact, I do.” He glances pointedly at the three people in question. “I think I’ll go wrangle up some volunteers.”

“Thank you,” Sylvie says with a relieved sigh. “And count me in.”

Herrmann squeezes her shoulder with a fond expression. “I have a good feeling about you, kid. I think you’re gonna fit right in.”

She bites her lip to hold back her pleased smile. For some reason, she feels as though she just passed a test -- one she didn’t know she was taking -- and that she’s well on her way to truly being a part of this family. That realization feels amazing. 

She wants that more than she initially knew.

******

When it’s all said and done, Molina comes clean. Welch wanted him to reach the scene first by whatever means necessary. Cruz isn’t at fault. The fundraiser goes off without a hitch and there’s plenty of money raised between the two houses to help Molina and his wife while he recovers. Matt made it through the reminders of losing Gabby by keeping busy. Between watching out for his guys and helping Herrmann with the fundraiser, it was more than enough. 

He’s almost ready to leave the hospital when Boden pulls him aside. 

“Casey,” Boden calls.

“Yeah, Chief?” He asks as he stops and turns to face him.

“You’ve been looking to fill a spot on Truck,” Boden states. “For a candidate.”

Casey nods. “Yeah, just waiting for the right fit.”

“Well, I think I’ve got one,” Boden tells him. “Welch booted a female candidate back to the floater pool. She got the spot after…”

“Right,” Casey replies, cutting him off. He doesn’t mean to be rude, but he doesn’t need the reminder of the dream Gabby never got to fulfill. “What was the reason for the boot?”

Boden’s expression is sympathetic at first but it turns intentionally stoic at Matt’s question. “They supposedly found ‘a better fit’, but we’ve both heard about their hazing troubles with their last candidate.”

“You think they booted her just for being a woman,” Casey states with a nod. “Seems likely to me.”

“I think 81 should give her a shot,” Boden requests. “I’ve looked into her. She’s got a solid reputation. By all accounts she’s going to make a hell of a firefighter.”

He nods. “Do you have a name for me?”

“Stella Kidd,” he answers. 

He knows that name. He’s heard it in passing. “Gabby knew her. She liked her.”

Gabby would want her to have a fair shake at a good house. She would want that for any woman. Especially after what happened with Jones. 

“We’ll take her on 81,” Matt answers confidently. “If Gabby liked her then she was good. I’m certain of that.”

“You’re sure?” He asks. “Because if you’re sure I can let Tieberg know and we can get the paperwork started.”

“I’m sure,” Matt replies, firmly. “Bring Stella Kidd over to 51. We could use some fresh blood on Truck right now.”

Training someone new would keep all of them from dwelling on the hole in the house, the same way the addition of Sylvie had become a rare bright spot in this messed up situation. New faces brought new energy. They needed that now more than ever. 


	9. When You Walked In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sylvie's past pays a visit to 51.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** This chapter begins 304! Before you start let me just say, you may not see a whole lot of Mills here but NEVER FEAR I have a plan and he'll be heavily involved VERY SOON. ;) I love Peter Mills and would never exclude him from S3.
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> angellwings

******

" _I knew you were trouble when you walked in,_

_So shame on me now._

_Flew me to places I'd never been,_

_'Til you put me down, oh,_

_I knew you were trouble when you walked in."_

_-"I Knew You Were Trouble" by Taylor Swift_

******

"I'm gonna be down a man on Squad for a couple of shifts," Severide says with a tired sigh as they walk toward the Firehouse that morning. He puts his phone away indicating he'd been checking his texts. "Mills didn't pass medical."

"Shit," Matt says in surprise. "I thought his leg was all healed up?"

"It is. His leg isn't the problem. Apparently the blast did some damage to his eardrum? It's causing vertigo."

"That's why he fell off the truck at the accident," Matt states in understanding.

"And why he passed out when we lowered him into that manhole the other week."

"That's…"

"Fucking awful?" Severide supplies for him. "Yeah, it is. That kid worked his ass off for his Squad spot."

"What's he planning to do since he can't be on Squad?" Matt asks curiously as they reach the app floor.

"Boden helped him transition into a paramedic spot at Austin," Kelly tells him. "There's a chance it'll clear up someday. I think Mills is thinking he can pass the time as a medic and then move back over. But...we'll see. It's a long shot."

"So was Mills even making Squad to begin with," Matt tells him, admiration for the younger man showing in his voice. "He's a very determined guy. He'll make it happen."

"You've got a new candidate coming today, yeah?" Severide asks, clearly wanting a change of topic.

He nods and the tension in his jaw ticks. The reason why they're taking in this candidate still pisses him off. Welch is a dick. "Yeah, a candidate Welch booted because he didn't want a female firefighter on his truck."

"What a dick," Severide mutters. "Who the hell cares as long as she can do the job? What's her name?"

"Stella Kidd. Word is she's pretty good. We'll see."

Kelly freezes mid-stride. "Kidd?"

"Yeah, you know her?" Matt asks, intrigued by Kelly's reaction.

"Uh, yeah, I...I met her when I was instructing at the Academy last year."

Matt narrows his eyes on him. He looks antsy - cagey. It's more than just knowing her from the Academy. He smirks at Severide before asking about it. "I realize, I have no right to mess with you about this if the answer is yes but...did you two hook up?"

"No!" He says insistently. A little _too_ insistently. "We didn't hook up. She, um, has a husband. A _very jealous_ husband."

Matt presses his lips into a flat line to purposefully hide his amusement. "And you know that he's the jealous type, how?"

"It doesn't matter," he says, feigning carelessness with a shrug. "I just do, okay?"

"Sure," Matt says, holding back a chuckle. "It's not gonna be a problem having her around, is it?"

"No," he replies immediately. "It'll be fine. She's talented and capable. She'll be great on 81."

Matt nods. "Thanks. That's good to know."

"I've got paperwork to catch up," Severide says quickly. "I'll see you at the Morning Briefing."

Severide doesn't wait for a response from him before he's marching off to the bunkroom. Matt grins and wonders what the hell happened with Stella Kidd to make his friend want to run and hide. Because that line about paperwork was bullshit. Matt's certain of that.

"Hey," Shay says as she steps out of the common room. "Was that blur I just saw Severide?"

Matt nods and laughs. "Yeah, something's up. He bolted the minute I mentioned my new candidate."

Her brow furrows at him. "Who's the candidate?"

"Stella Kidd."

Leslie's face lights up with glee - evil glee, he notes. "Really?" She asks. "Oh, this is gonna be so much fun. I'll catch you later."

And then Leslie takes off toward the bunk room as well. Clearly, she knows something he doesn't. Whatever it is, it's not too traumatizing. Shay looked like the cat that ate the canary. If it was scarring, she wouldn't have looked so delighted. As long as it's not anything horrible, Matt's more than willing to let Kelly have his secrets. If he wants Matt to know, he'll tell him.

He'll only push if it turns out to affect Kidd. Severide may be one of his best friends but Kidd is now a part of his Truck crew. He'll look out for her just like he would Otis or Mouch.

"Lieutenant Casey?"

He turns at the sound of his title and finds a young dark haired woman in a gray candidate shirt smiling pleasantly at him. Her wavy hair is pulled back into a tight ponytail and while she's smiling he sees grit in her stare. He likes her already.

"That's me," he says as he sticks out his hand for a shake. "Stella Kidd?"

"The one and only," she tells him as she shakes his hand. Her handshake is firm and forceful. He has a feeling she's going to be a handful. "Thanks for having me on Truck 81. I couldn't believe it when I got the call."

"We're happy to have you. I've heard nothing but good things. Let me get someone to show you around," he tells her as he glances into the common room. He spots two of his guys sitting around the long table. "Otis, Cruz," he calls.

They immediately make their way over and Casey motions between them and Kidd. "This is our new candidate, Stella Kidd. Show her the ropes, will you? Make sure she gets a locker too."

"On it, Casey," Cruz responds immediately.

"Yeah," Otis says with a devious grin. "We'll make her feel welcome."

Matt resists rolling his eyes. He knows what that means and he'd rather be kept out of any and all hazing pranks. He knows it's a right of passage. He went through it himself. But that doesn't mean he likes it. Most houses take it too far. His guys aren't like most guys, though. He trusts them to keep it under control.

He leaves Kidd and then heads toward the lockers to drop off his stuff. When he gets back, the guys have already put the new girl to work behind the stove. Breakfast is well under way.

He spots Sylvie, flanked by Otis and Cruz, and shakes his head. Those two never stop and they always seem to have the same target. Sylvie smiles politely at them and answers all their questions. Otis is sitting on one side of her and Cruz is standing behind her. Sylvie looks a bit uncomfortable. Not as though they're bothering her, but as if she's uncomfortable with the attention. Matt pours himself a cup of coffee and then plants himself in the empty seat on the other side of her.

"Morning, Brett," he says, not caring that he interrupted Otis's interrogation.

"Morning, Casey," she replies, looking slightly guilty at having to ignore Otis.

"Have you met the new candidate, yet?" He asks, gesturing to Kidd as she slaves away in the kitchen.

"No, I haven't had the chance," she tells him. "But it's nice not being the newest face in the house anymore."

"I bet. Must be a relief to think someone else might be grilled for once instead of you," he quips with a pointed squinting glance at Otis.

She laughs, but the sound is awkward. He gets the feeling she's worried about offending Otis and Cruz. Jesus, she's nice. Possibly a little _too_ nice.

"It's a little of a relief, yes," she admits.

Otis mercifully takes the hint and moves to a seat across the table. Cruz joins him and their subject of conversation moves on from Brett.

Brett blows out an anxious breath and leans toward him with a grateful smile. "Thanks. Otis is nice, but I get the feeling he's trying to dig up some sort of dirt on me."

Matt chuckles and nods. "That's because he is. Otis has a lot of great qualities, but he's a bit of a gossip."

"Good to know," Sylvie replies as she gives Otis a wary glance. "Thanks for looking out."

He shrugs and flashes her a friendly grin. "Not a problem. Saving people's kinda my job, after all."

"Okay, breakfast's up!" Kidd yells.

Shay comes into the common room, dragging Kelly behind her, just as people begin lining up to try the candidate's cooking.

"Oh," Sylvie says with a bright smile as Stella's filling her plate. "This looks delicious."

Stella shrugs modestly but beams at the compliment. "Well, you know, it's just bacon and eggs really-"

"Hey, I'm looking for Sylvie Brett."

All movement stops and the room goes eerily silent. Sylvie tenses as she stands in line in front of him. They all slowly turn, as a well coordinated group, to face the voice with her.

"Harrison?" Sylvie asks in shock.

"Hey, Sylvie."

Harrison? The ex-fiance who ran out on her? Matt gives the other man a long once over and immediately dislikes him. Besides walking out on someone as truly _nice_ as Sylvie, he just _looks_ like a douche.

"Guys," Harrison says, acknowledging the other people in the room.

Sylvie sets her plate aside and crosses the room to meet him. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, truth be told, I came to apologize."

Matt bites back a scoff. He doesn't buy that for a second. Sylvie looks nervously around the room and he suddenly remembers that the rest of the room doesn't know the truth. They think Sylvie left Harrison. They don't know what he knows.

"Maybe we should talk about this in private," Sylvie suggests hopefully.

"Nope," Harrison declares, dismissing Sylvie's request without a moment's consideration. "This is as good a place as any."

Casey's feelings go from dislike to full on hatred just based on that action alone. What the hell is wrong with this guy?

The discomfort he saw in her while Otis was questioning her is back. Only this time, it's mixed in with fear and anxiety.

"I blew it-"

Oh, fuck this. This jackass is not going to air out his and Sylvie's dirty laundry in public.

"Hey, pal," Casey says, cutting him off with his best authoritative voice. "This is a common room - a public space. If you plan to discuss personal business, I'm gonna have to ask you to take it somewhere else." He glares at Harrison for a moment before turning a softer look on Sylvie. He points over his shoulder to the briefing room. "Roll call won't be till after breakfast," he tells her. "You can take the briefing room."

"Thank you," she says, giving Matt a grateful glance. Harrison takes a breath as if ready to argue but Sylvie wraps a hand around his wrist and drags him away. "This way," she tells him.

Casey's eyes follow them until the briefing room door shuts behind them. Is that guy really the best her little hometown has to offer? Jesus, no wonder she ran away to Chicago.

The room goes back to business as usual, except for Otis who's watching Brett and Harrison through the glass with rapt attention. Matt rolls his eyes and hands Kidd his plate.

Stella is glaring through the briefing room window, but turns away once she realizes Casey is standing in front of her.

"I get a bad vibe off of that guy," she grumbles as she fills Matt's plate.

Matt can't fault her instincts. Hopefully those sharp instincts carry over to the job. "Me too," he admits. "Asshole," he mutters under his breath.

"Agreed," Stella replies with an eye roll. "Hopefully, she gives that tool the boot."

Matt smirks at her and nods. Stella Kidd hasn't even met Sylvie yet and already she's on her side. Yeah, she'll be a good fit. He can tell. "This looks good, Kidd. Hopefully you're as good at fighting fires as you are at cooking breakfast."

"Please, fighting fires is my real talent. Cooking is a bonus," she tells him with a confident grin. "Just wait, Lieutenant. You'll see."

The bells go off the minute the words leave her lips. He sets down his plate and gives her a challenging glance.

"Now's your chance, Candidate. Let's see what you've got."

******

She can't help but replay Harrison's words as she runs toward the rig.

" _I want you back. Please come home."_

Those first few weeks after he left, she would have done anything to hear those words, but now? Now, she's not so sure.

"You okay, Partner?" Shay asks as they load up into 61.

"Uh, yeah," she lies as she pulls out of the firehouse. "Totally fine."

"What was he apologizing for?" Leslie asks with a furrowed brow. "Why would he apologize if you left him?"

She bites her bottom lip and sighs tiredly. "I, um, I kinda lied about that."

Her partner's eyes widen in surprise, but her only other visible reaction is a single nod. "We're coming back to this after the call. Just to give you a heads up."

"That's fair," Sylvie replies with a nervous gulp. "I appreciate the warning."

The call is a rescue. There was a man trapped at a junkyard, at risk of being crushed. The new girl has trouble locating jacks until Herrmann helps her. Sylvie sympathizes. Their patient is put on a backboard and she and Shay transport him to Med. Once back in the Ambo after the drop off, Sylvie decides to bite the bullet.

"Harrison left me a couple of weeks before the wedding. I didn't leave him. I'm sorry I lied. It's just that everyone knew back home and I was tired of all the whispers and pitying looks and I-I just wanted to pretend it never happened."

Shay reaches over and places a comforting hand on her shoulder. Her smile is warm and kind. "Hey, you do what it takes to get you through. Trust me. I understand."

Sylvie breathes a sigh of relief. "Thank you."

"So, what did he say to you?"

"He said he made a mistake and that he still loves me. He wants me back and…"

Shay nods slowly and finishes her sentence. "...and wants you to go back to Fowlerton with him?"

"Yeah," she answers, biting the inside of her cheek.

"Wow," Leslie says with wide eyes. "That's a big decision."

"Tell me about it," Sylvie says as she takes in an anxious breath.

"I hope you really sit and think about it," Shay urges her. "Don't do anything rash. I've...I've been where you are. Had an ex suddenly come back into the picture. I invested a lot of myself into that relationship and she-she didn't. I'd hate to see that happen to you."

Sylvie meets Shay's eyes and nods. She can tell Shay means every word she said. Her eyes glisten slightly and her expression is solemn - heartfelt. Sylvie removes one hand from the wheel to cover Shay's hand, that still rests on her shoulder, with her own.

"I promise to really think about it before I make any sort of decision, Shay. Truly," Sylvie assures her.

"Good, and just so we can both eat our feelings we're stopping for donuts on the way back," Leslie says as she grins and removes her hand.

"No arguments here," Sylvie replies with a laugh. "I could use some extra calories."

When they arrive back at the Firehouse, Sylvie takes her donut and her coffee to the bunk room. She settles in her cot, with a book, and is determined to not think about Harrison for at least an hour. Maybe two.

She fails miserably. She keeps having to reread the same paragraph over and over again. She huffs and throws the book down to the foot of her bed. This is stupid. She's been thinking about him less and less as the weeks went by. So, of course, he has to show up just as she's settling into her life in Chicago.

She hears a throat clear and startles with a soft yelp.

As she realizes it's Matt who startled her, she meets his gaze.

"Sorry," he says with amusement lingering in his eyes. "Didn't mean to scare you."

She blushes and smiles apologetically. "No, I'm sorry. I was...thinking. I didn't hear you coming."

"I noticed." He picks up the book she discarded and holds it out to her. "Did the book make you mad or was it something else?"

She takes it back from him and places it down on the bedside table. "It wasn't the book."

He sighs and sits down on the cot across from her. "I figured as much. Harrison?" At her nod, he continues. "What did he say?"

"You know, the usual. He's sorry and he wants me back."

Casey scoffs and rolls his eyes. "Right."

"I don't know," Sylvie says with a weak smile. "He might mean it."

"I guess," Matt agrees reluctantly. "So, are you gonna see him?"

She nods. "I think I have to."

"Have to?" He asks with narrowed eyes. "Sylvie, you never _have to_ do anything."

"Well," she says with a wry grin. "In this case I do, yes. I stole his car, remember? I should probably make sure he doesn't want to press charges or something. You know? Plus, I feel _awful_ about it."

She can tell that he hates that she has a point. He winces while he contemplates how to reply.

"I forgot that you stole his car. Alright, fine," he begins as he meets her eyes with an encouraging glance. "If you have to see him just...try to remember why you came to Chicago in the first place."

One corner of her mouth pulls upward as she lets his words sink in. "I like that," she admits. "That's good advice. Thank you, Casey."

"You're welcome," he replies. "Seriously, anytime."

He's said that before, but now she knows he means it.

******

The closer they get to the evening the antsier Casey gets. He keeps thinking about the look on Harrison's face at the Firehouse the morning before and the way he so easily strolled into the room - as if he had every right to be there. The guy came across as a complete and utter douchebag. If Sylvie was seeing him then she was probably seeing him _tonight_.

He was worried, even if he didn't really have the right to be.

There's a game on television but he's hardly paying attention. Shay sits down on the opposite end of the couch from him and steals his focus. Sylvie really respects her. Maybe she knows something he doesn't.

"Shay?"

"Yeah?" She replies as she takes a sip of her beer.

"Have you heard from Sylvie since shift ended?"

Leslie gives him a look of understanding. She knows exactly what he's getting at, he can tell.

"You're worried too?" She asks.

He nods. "Her ex is an ass. So, yeah, I'm worried."

She sighs and her expression turns flat. She doesn't dispute his statement so she must agree.

"She invited him over to her apartment to talk," Shay informs him. "That's all I know."

"You don't think she'd actually go with him, do you?" He asks. He wants to say she wouldn't but he's only known Sylvie for a few weeks. How can he be sure?

Before she answers she releases a heavy sigh. "I don't know. Love leads people to make some shitty decisions. No one knows that better than me. I think we'll just have to wait and see."

Wait and see? He doesn't want to wait and see.

Normally, he's pretty good at waiting, but this time…

This time the waiting is going to get on his last damn nerve.


	10. Running Into You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sylvie experiences her first loss on the job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** And with this chapter we end 304. Next chapter starts 305!

******

_“Just like smoking, just like drinking, I'm a fool for ever thinking I'm done._

_Yeah, I always break that promise, if I'm honest it ain't ever just one,_

_Or two, when I'm running into you._

_I'm right back on that road, pushing that first domino.”_

_-”Just Another Thing” by Maren Morris_

******

_“You know that house on Darlington? The one you always loved? I put an offer on it. A place for us to live and be married and start a family. Please just come home with me?”_

Had he really suggested that to her the night before last? That house on Darlington was her dream home! It had a wrap around porch and a bay window with a seat and beautiful built in shelves. Not to mention pretty little flower boxes on all the windows and stained glass on the front door. It was charming and cozy and everything she’d ever imagined her home would be. Harrison knows she’s been dreaming of that house since they were kids.

But…

How did she know he meant any of it? He broke up with her! What suddenly changed his mind?

She’s torn. Genuinely torn. She’s known Harrison forever and before he walked away from her she was convinced that they would be together for even longer than that. But he did walk away and she moved on. Simple as that. She loves Chicago and Firehouse 51. She can’t imagine walking away from that now. 

What if he’s right, though? About her?

_“I know you better than anybody and I know that this place is not for you.”_

She begged off answering him, asking for more time to think. But hadn’t she been having those same thoughts just the other week? This isn’t the first time she’s questioned the longevity of her Chicago plan, but it’s the first time someone else has questioned it for her.

She’s quiet and contemplative all morning. People have noticed. Shay and Casey keep exchanging concerned glances across the common room. Their concern is not subtle, but she appreciates it nonetheless.

A call comes through for all of them. It’s a fire and the first girl saved is in bad shape. They put her on the gurney and hook her up with oxygen to keep her stable, but while the search begins she grabs Sylvie’s hand in a desperate grip. She pulls the oxygen mask away from her face, even as Sylvie tells her not to.

“The others?”

“They’re looking for them now,” she assures her.

“There are 15. In the basement.”

Sylvie gets the mask back on her as she glances back at Boden.

“Chief, we got 15 more in the basement!”

He calls it in over the radio and now she and Shay have to wait. Boden has called for an EMS plan that would bring more ambulances but that’s going to take time. Meanwhile Engine’s running out of water and all the hydrants have been stripped. As she works on her patients, she’s peripherally aware of the new girl, Kidd, working her ass off to find water. Once they’ve got it, the search is back on and their first batch of survivors makes it out.

“Did they find them?” The first girl asks.

“They’re trying, honey,” Brett soothes as she squeezes her hand. She looks over her shoulder and spots Mouch handing off a victim to Shay. “They’re coming out now. _Alive_.”

Shay leads her victim to sit and then turns her head toward her partner. “Brett, oxygen.”

She nods before turning back to the girl to give her a bit of well deserved praise. “That was a very brave thing you did.”

The oxygen is set down between herself and Shay. They both begin tending to their new victims. Severide comes out guiding yet another victim to them. Shay takes her as Severide shares what they found. 

“The basement door was chained shut. First girl must have squeezed out to warn everyone.”

“Trafficking?” Shay asks him as her eyes darken with anger.

“I’m thinking sweatshop.”

While tending to other patients, their original patient loses consciousness. Brett notices immediately.

“Dammit, girl,” she exclaims as she frantically lays the gurney back and sets out to revive her. “You can’t do this!”

She hears Shay calling her name but she can’t just give up! This girl put herself at risk to save others! That has to be worth something! It has to! She hears Shay sigh sadly and then feels her partner’s hand on her back.

“She’s gone, Sylvie,” Shay says quietly. “Let her go and focus on the people we _can_ save. Okay?”

Sylvie immediately stops compressions and shakes her emotions away. She casts the girl one last glance as Kidd brings someone else out.

“I can take her,” Sylvie calls out as she approaches Kidd. 

She does her job. She assists with the other victims. They leave. But the memory of that first girl still won’t leave her alone. She shouldn’t have died! She didn’t deserve that! She risked a lot for the sake of others! How could the world not repay that in kind? It made her question her own risks. Running away from home was a risk, but it was a selfish risk. If the universe couldn’t reward a selfless risk then what makes her think it would reward a selfish one?

The rest of her shift is a bit of a blur. She goes through the motions as her mind swirls with grief and guilt. Did she not do enough? Should she have noticed she was fading sooner? Had she noticed would it have changed anything?

She’s changing out in the locker room when Shay finds her. Leslie has already changed into a t-shirt and jeans. She takes the spot on the bench next to Sylvie and then waits patiently for Sylvie to look up at her. 

“Chicago's a lot different than your little town, huh?” Shay asks, sadly.

Sylvie sighs and nods, running a hand over her face to hold off her tears.

Leslie drapes an arm around her shoulders and draws her closer. “We can’t save them all, Brett. It’s dangerous to get attached -- not just for our other patients but for you too. You’re gonna see things here that will probably haunt you and as hard as it is...you can’t dwell on it. You won’t survive if you do. If you start questioning everything, over thinking all your decisions, living with the guilt.” Shay pauses and takes in a deep shaky breath. “Well, take it from me, it’ll lead you down a dark path. I’d hate to see that happen to you. So just...try and maintain a little distance from here on out, okay?”

Even as she nods and agrees, she questions whether or not she’s even capable of ‘distance’. It all circles back to her worry that Harrison is right. She can’t handle Chicago. It’s too big. Too dangerous. She doesn’t have the stomach for it. 

She feels awful. This is a new kind of sadness and grief. It feels like she’s already in mourning for all the people she won’t be able to save. It’s nearly crushing. She waits for Shay to leave before she frantically gathers her things and bolts from the Firehouse. She can’t be here right now. Her new life that she loves so much is hurting her and she doesn’t want to think about it. Not right now. She gets in her car and drives away. She has no idea where she’s going. She’s letting her broken heart call the shots. She’s letting it tell her what she wants. 

She wants familiarity and comfort. She wants someone who knows everything there is to know about her. She wants to be reminded of _home_ and safety.

Before she knows it she’s storming down the hall in Harrison’s hotel, headed directly to his room. This is probably going to be a mistake, but he’s the only piece of home she has right now. He’s the only person in this whole city who knows the old Sylvie Brett, and the old Sylvie Brett is the one who needs to hide away from the world for a while. 

******

Matt’s aware that Sylvie is not herself for the rest of their shift. As Shay leaves the locker room she gives him a concerned stare that leaves him feeling unsettled. A few minutes later Sylvie books it out of the house. Casey tries to yell after her. He wants to help her and talk through her loss. He knows what it’s like to get attached to a victim. He knows how badly it hurts when your best effort isn’t enough.

He thinks he can help her. 

But she doesn’t even turn around. She’s singularly focused on getting as far away from 51 as she can. He doubts she heard him at all. 

When he gets home, he and Shay both try to call her. Just to check in, but neither gets an answer. Sylvie’s gone radio silent.

Severide slides them both beers across the kitchen counter. He’s perceptive and he can tell they’re worried. 

“I’m sure it’s fine,” Kelly says reassuringly. “She probably just needs a little time to process it on her own. It’s her first loss on a call. Let her have some space.”

Shay shakes her head. “I don’t know. Between today’s call and her ex coming into town...I’m concerned. She’s got potential to be a great partner. I’m just getting to know her. What if--what if this sends her running back home to Indiana?”

Matt’s worried about the same thing. Sylvie could really do well here. He knows it. But, then again, he’s not the one that needs to be certain of that. Sylvie is. If she isn’t then her life here will cause her more stress than satisfaction.

“If it does, then it does,” Casey tells her with a tired sigh and a shrug. “She has to want to make it happen, Shay. We can’t choose for her.”

“Sometimes, I really hate free will,” Lelsie says with half of a dry smirk. “Life would be so much easier if I could make people do what I want them to do.”

“For you,” Severide says with a teasing snort. “Life would be so much easier _for you_. I, personally, would hate it if I had to do what you wanted me to do all the time.”

Leslie flips him off and rolls her eyes. “I would make way better decisions for you then you make for yourself. Trust me on that.”

“Hey, I enjoy my bad decisions, thank you,” he quips. “They keep life interesting.”

“You’re an idiot,” Shay replies with a bemused chuckle. “Casey, tell him he’s an idiot.”

Casey very easily looks up at Severide with a smug grin. “You’re an idiot.”

“This is what I get for forcing you to move in. I should have known better,” Severide says, accusingly, before he points a finger at the television. “Bring your beers to the living room. There’s a Blackhawks game on tonight. We’re watching it. End of discussion.”

“Now who’s making other people’s decisions,” Shay mutters as she begrudgingly does as she’s told.

Matt chuckles and follows their lead. He takes his phone off silent and keeps it out and visible. Maybe Sylvie will call. He hopes she does. She shouldn't be alone tonight. She should be here with him and Shay and Severide. They keep each other preoccupied when things get tough. They get each other through. It’s like he told her a few nights ago, they show up for each other. 

He just hopes she sticks around long enough to discover that for herself.


	11. It's Bullshit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt and Sylvie offer each other support.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** I have started back to work which means posting may go a little slower from here on out. I am posting a chapter everytime I finish a future chapter so it all depends on how long it takes me to crank them out. This chapter is set during 305! Hope you like it!
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> angellwings

******

" _It's bullshit, you know it._

_Yeah, I see it in your eyes,_

_Every time that you tell me,_

_Deep down he's a really good guy._

_That's like saying,_

_Drunk girls don't cry."_

_-"Drunk Girls Don't Cry" by Maren Morris_

******

" _These last few months without you...It's not something I ever want to get used to."_

The little smile on her face as she replays Harrison's words is genuine. But she's still not convinced she should leave Chicago. Last shift aside, she's building something here and she's enjoying it. And even then, that was her first loss. It's bound to hit her hard. She already feels better having spent time away from the house, thinking about other things. She had her doubts last shift, but now...now she's back to believing she can do this.

But if she does…

Will Harrison stick around? If he doesn't, is Harrison worth giving up Chicago and 51? She doubts if he's serious, and yet he made an offer on her dream house. Doesn't that indicate he means what he says?

Ugh, she's all mixed up and she has no idea what she wants. Life was so much easier before Harrison walked into 51. And that's saying a lot considering she kicked things off at the firehouse with a literal bang.

Holy shit. Harrison can _never_ find out about Casey. She'd almost forgotten in the face of all of her inner turmoil. She can never _ever_ tell him. Especially not if she wants to get back together with him.

Does she want to get back together with him?

She's so distracted that she nearly plows through Casey as she's leaving the bathroom.

"Sorry!" She says frantically.

Turns out he was distracted too so he looks just as surprised by their near collision as she is.

"Don't worry about it," He says as he absently glances down at his phone. When he looks back up at her the distractions are gone and his eyes are full of concern. "Last shift was pretty rough for you. Are you good?"

"Me?" She asks in surprise. She gulps nervously and nods. "Yeah, I'm good. I...um, yes."

His eyes narrow suspiciously. "Kinda sounds like there's more to that sentence."

No, Sylvie, don't do it. Don't even think about telling your former one night stand that you-

"I slept with Harrison."

Why _the fuck_ did she tell him that?

His eyes widen and he chokes on an inhale of air. "Oh-Okay. I'm...happy for you?" He doesn't look happy for her. He looks like he's _trying_ to be happy for her, but he also looks mildly horrified. "Does that mean you're getting back together?"

"Well, he lives in Fowlerton."

Matt nods slowly as if he's waiting for her to continue. When she doesn't he asks a follow up question. "Yes, he does. Does that mean you want to go back there?"

"I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't be talking to you about this. I mean, considering our history-But it's just that I don't have many friends here and you and Shay and Severide have been so nice to me since I started and I...I-"

The discomfort in his gaze lessens and half of a warm smile appears on his face. The situation is awkward, but he doesn't look like he minds.

"You're fine," he assures her. "I'm just...surprised, is all. I just hope you don't make any rash decisions. I mean, you should-"

"Remember why I came to Chicago in the first place," she says with a smirk, completing his sentence. "I did listen, Casey. I'm trying."

His phone chimes and he heaves a heavy sigh as he glances down at it. She's seen him in several different moods since meeting him, but she's never seen him look quite so conflicted.

"Everything okay?" She asks, worriedly.

"Oh, no, it's fine. It's just a family thing. I wouldn't want to pile on considering everything you're dealing with."

She waves a dismissive hand at him. "Please, I would love to focus on someone else for once. If you need a sounding board…"

He lifts a brow at her as he considers her offer and then blows out a relieved breath as if he's been holding it in all morning. A beat later, he just _goes_. It's a steady stream of information along with an effort to vent frustration.

"My sister and her husband have jammed my niece into this massive public school in Logan Square. Where they apparently now live in an _apartment_. Last time, I heard anything from them they were in the house they've lived in for my niece's entire life. So sometime between then and now, they've moved. Christie never said a damn thing. I mean, I feel like a _good_ brother would know this stuff. I can't believe I don't and I don't know what to do about it."

Sylvie chews on that information for a moment and then smiles softly at him. "Well, I would consider my brother a good brother, but he didn't know I'd moved to Chicago until I'd been here a month. That was because of _me_ , not him. I was embarrassed so I tried to avoid it. Maybe not knowing has less to do with you and more to do with whatever they're going through that led them to move. I mean, it's hard to say since I don't know your sister but that's my best guess as someone who _is_ a sister. And as far as what to do...I'd say talking is a good place to start."

She can tell he's considering her words as he nods.

"Yeah, okay, thanks," he says with a thoughtful gaze.

"Anytime," she says, throwing his default reply back at him. "I'm gonna go try and scarf down some breakfast before roll call."

He nods. "I'll be there in a second." He takes one step and passes her toward the bathroom before he pauses, turning to face her again. "For the record, Brett, I'm glad you're here. You've been a welcome addition to the house and I'd hate to see you leave."

A wide smile spreads across her face and her posture lifts at his words. She feels gratitude and pride and a swell of positivity that's been missing since she left the Firehouse last shift. "Thank you, Casey. That means a lot. Really."

They share a stare of mutual appreciation a split second before the bells go off.

So much for breakfast, Sylvie thinks as they both sprint for their rigs.

******

The call was stressful. Herrmann and Kidd were trapped on the roof and had to bail out. There was a close call where Kidd got caught on a cable from the side of the building, but it all turned out fine. He knew it would. Herrmann's an old pro at bringing up candidates. Much more experienced than Casey, despite his officer status.

Afterwards, he left Herrmann in charge and took a ride to talk to his sister. Now he once again didn't know what to do. Jim and Christie are broke and Christie won't let him help. He thinks Sylvie's right, his sister's embarrassed. But he can't let Violet stay at that school. There has to be something he can do.

He needs to talk it out. Outloud. With someone. Explaining the whole situation to someone else is not an appealing idea to him so when he gets back to the house the first person he looks for is Sylvie. He finds her in the kitchen, munching on dry cereal, and writing out something in a notebook.

When he gets close enough to read it, he sees it's a pros and cons list titled "Harrison".

"No closer to a decision?" He asks with a teasing grin.

She bites her bottom lip and shakes her head. "No. Did you go see your sister?"

"Yeah, about that…" he starts as he takes the empty chair next to her. "They're broke and she won't take any money from me to get Violet back into her school. But she's being bullied and getting into fights, I can't let her stay there. On the other hand…"

"It's not really your call?" Sylvie asks, sensing where he was going.

He nods. "There's gotta be something I can do though."

"Well," Sylvie says as she bites her lip and looks toward the ceiling thoughtfully. "This one time back home, our tractor broke down and dad didn't have the money for the part we needed. My grandpa offered to cover it, but they already had a sort of tense relationship anyway so dad refused."

Matt grins and covers it by placing his chin in his hand. Having a country girl around the house is going to be interesting. He can already tell. "So, what happened?"

"Grandpa gave mom the money instead," Sylvie tells him with a smirk. "She bought the part and then asked for forgiveness after. So, maybe, instead of your sister you should talk to your brother-in-law? Maybe he'll be more open to it."

He nods and smiles slowly at her. "That just might work. Thanks."

"Not a problem. Good luck!" Sylvie says optimistically.

He rounds up 81 and takes a ride to visit Jim. Turns out there's more going on than he realized. Christie and Jim are getting divorced and Jim is likely sleeping with his receptionist. His brother-in-law is just as much of a douchebag as Sylvie's ex-fiance. This time he goes to Severide instead of Sylvie. Severide still has some contacts in Intelligence. He could call Antonio, but their relationship has been distant and tense since they lost Gabby. Plus, he'd heard through the grapevine that Antonio's impending divorce wasn't going particularly well. He'd hate to add to his stress. Matt wants to have Jim checked out. He's only recently gotten Christie back in his life so he honestly doesn't know much about Jim in the first place. It's time he does something about that.

Severide connects him to Erin, who agrees to look into it for him.

He's walking out just as 61 is getting back from a call. It overlapped with the end of shift so they'll be getting a little bit of overtime. He catches Shay and Brett fistbumping before going their separate ways.

"Thank you, Partner! I owe you a beer, you beautiful badass!" Shay calls over her shoulder.

Sylvie laughs and blushes, shaking her head modestly.

His eyebrows rise as he approaches her. "What did I miss?"

"High body builder that patrol pushed off on us tried to attack Shay," she tells him. "I had to sedate him with Versed. Not exactly regulation, but the guy came after my partner. That's a big hell no in my book."

Casey nods and grins widely in approval. "Mine too. You okay?"

"Yeah," she replies, looking genuinely surprised by her answer. "I am, actually. It was scary but nothing I couldn't handle. Any updates on your sister and your niece?"

"Nothing for certain yet," he replies vaguely. He's heading to the precinct now to talk to Erin and he'd rather not say anything else until he hears back from her. "But I'm working on it."

"Well, hopefully I've proven I'm a good enough sounding board that you'll keep me in the loop," Sylvie says earnestly. "I'm invested now."

He chuckles and nods. "You were very helpful. I appreciate it."

"Just returning the favor," she tells him with a shrug. "You've been helpful to me and I feel like I haven't been helpful to you until now. It doesn't seem fair."

"I don't think being friends requires a balance sheet, Brett," Matt replies with an amused glance. "Don't worry about it, really. I'll see you next shift."

She nods. "For sure."

He turns to walk away but she calls him back. He faces her with raised brows and an expectant expression.

"What you said earlier about being glad I'm here?" She asks. He nods and waits for her to continue. "Well, I'm glad I'm here too and...I like that we can be friends. Even if we didn't have the most conventional beginning."

"I don't know what you're talking about," he says, teasingly. "The first time I met you was right here in this Firehouse."

She laughs and the sound is bright and airy. She has a nice laugh.

"Right. What was I thinking?" She asks sarcastically.

"I like that we can be friends too," he admits, smiling easily at her. "You're a good friend to have, Sylvie Brett."

"Right back at you, Matt Casey."

******

It's late, but they're all still up for no reason in particular. The TV is on but no one is watching it. Severide's using his laptop to research something or other for maintenance on his car, Shay's lazily scrolling through some sort of app on her phone, and he's obsessively googling his brother-in-law hoping to magically find something useful. All in all, it's a quiet night.

And then Shay's phone rings.

"Hey, Brett, what's up?" She pauses and then… "Holy shit! Are you okay? Yeah, absolutely. I'm coming right over."

Matt and Kelly look at her in concern as she stands and heads for the door.

"What's going on?" Severide asks.

"Brett's place got broken into and she caught the guy trying to make off with all her shit," Shay informs them, thinly veiled rage in her tone.

Matt's up and grabbing his keys before she even finishes her sentence. "We'll take my truck. Is she okay?"

"She says she is, but I'd like to get a good look at her first," Shay answers.

Kelly follows them, pulling his keys out of his pocket. His voice takes on a protective edge while he speaks. "I'm coming too. Quick question, though, where's the douchebag of an ex-fiancé during all of this?"

"I'd like to know the answer to that myself," Casey mutters as they walk out the door.

They arrive on the scene to find Brett still giving her statement to Burgess and Roman. Her apartment is a huge fucking mess. There are shredded pillows, flipped tables, broken lamps. The place has been ransacked.

"Oh my god," Shay says as she rushes Sylvie with a hug. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she replies, hugging Shay tightly. "Thanks for coming. I didn't know who else to call."

"Since your friends are here," Burgess says as she nods at Kelly and Matt. "We'll go ahead and take off. A detective should be in touch tomorrow."

"Thanks, guys," Kelly says as he walks the officers to the door.

Shay pulls back from the hug and examines Sylvie for any damage. Brett lets out a soggy chuckle and pulls Shay's hands away from her chin.

"I'm fine. The only thing that guy did damage to is my apartment," Sylvie tells her with a sad smile.

"What happened?" Matt asks as he examines the broken lock on her door. Looked like old wood on the door made the lock easy to jimmy loose. He can fix it pretty quickly. Though to be safe she'd probably need a whole new door.

"I came home and the door was open," Sylvie answers with a tired sigh. "I thought the guy was long gone but as I was looking over the mess he came in from the kitchen. And I…"

"You what?" Kelly asks as he comes back into the room.

She has all of their undivided attention now.

"I grabbed a bat, yelled at the guy, and started swinging."

Shay releases a startled guffaw, holding out her first for a bump. "Damn, farmgirl! You got balls!"

Sylvie smiles bashfully but bumps her fists with Shay's. "It was probably reckless and stupid but it was the first thing that came to mind! After that I grabbed the bag of my stuff he dropped and called the cops."

Kelly and Matt exchange impressed grins. Matt steps away from the door and meets her self conscious gaze. She looks like she's expecting a lecture instead of praise or as if she thinks she's done something wrong. He's not sure he understands why. What else does she think she could have done?

"If you hadn't defended yourself then it's highly likely that guy could have killed you," Casey assures her. "Quick thinking isn't reckless or stupid. It's what keeps you alive."

Kelly nods his agreement. "You're a badass. Seriously. Now, pack a bag you're coming with us for the night."

She blinks at Severide in shock and then looks from him to Shay. "Oh, no, you guys don't have to-"

Shay laughs and holds up a hand to stop her mid sentence. "What did you think was going to happen when you called me? You obviously can't stay here tonight. Your door is busted and your apartment is wrecked."

"I can't just leave with my door wide open," Sylvie says before anxiously biting her bottom lip.

"Don't worry about that," Casey tells her. "I've got spare plywood in the back of my truck. I can board it up for now. What's your landlord's number?"

"Casey, I don't expect you to-"

"I want to," he says ignoring her protest. "It won't take me but a second, and then if you'll give me his number I'll call your landlord and talk to him about getting you a new door with better locks."

"And an alarm system," Severide suggests.

Shay rolls her eyes and loops her arm through Sylvie's. "Come on, we'll go get you a few things while these two set up your protection detail."

He knows it's a joke, but it's not actually a bad idea.

"Don't even think about it!" Shay calls over her shoulder.

"Damn," Severide says with a light laugh. "She knows us way too well."

By the time he gets out the supplies, Brett has a bag together and they all wait while he and Severide board up her front door. Once that's done Shay rides with Severide and Sylvie rides with him. He puts her bag in the back of the truck while she hops in.

"You sure you're okay?" He asks as he gets in and starts the truck.

She takes a long moment to think, breathing slowly, before she answers him. "Yeah, I think I am."

She sounds confident so who is he to question it?

"Good, I'm glad," he replies. "Where's the ex tonight?"

She shifts awkwardly. "He had some things to take care of in Fowlerton. He'll be back the day after tomorrow."

"What did he say when you called him?"

He doesn't know why he's so curious about this, aside from the fact that he's certain her ex is a dick.

"Um, not much. I got his voicemail," Sylvie admits reluctantly. "It's pretty late. He's probably asleep. I'm sure he'll call me in the morning."

"Yeah," Casey agrees halfheartedly. "I'm sure you're right."

"He's not a bad guy," she says defensively. "I know that first night at the bar I made him sound...like a movie villain or something but he's really not."

"If you say he's a good guy then he probably is," Matt tells her. "I don't know him so I have no right to judge." He stops and glances at her out of the corner of his eye before he hesitantly continues. "But, all I'm saying is, if my fiance called me this late at night I'd sure as hell answer my phone."

"Can we...can we not talk about Harrison, right now?" She asks, suddenly sounding exhausted. She points to his radio. "You mind if I put on some music?"

He smiles weakly at her and nods. "Whatever you want."

If she wants to change the subject, he'll let her. It's her life not his and he barely knows her. Maybe Harrison is the good guy she says he is, but regardless…

Sylvie can do better. She just doesn't know it yet.


	12. It's My Turn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sylvie makes a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** This is the last chapter set during 305. The next one will begin 306! Hope you like it!
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> angellwings

******

_“All my life I've tried to make everybody happy,_

_While I just hurt and hide,_

_Waiting for someone to tell me it's my turn to decide._

_Who cares if you disagree?_

_You are not me._

_Who made you king of anything?_

_So you dare tell me who to be?_

_Who died and made you king of anything?”_

_-“King of Anything” by Sara Bareilles_

******

They all took their turns trying to give her their beds. Matt offered first, then Severide, and then Shay. It was ridiculous. She’s slept on a couch before and she knows it won’t kill her. 

“You’ve had a rough night, though,” Shay protested. “Just take my room.”

“I’m good,” she promised with a fond chuckle. “I just need a pillow and a couple of blankets.”

Shay rolled her eyes but gave in and now Sylvie was awake before the rest of them listening to a fresh pot of coffee brewing in the kitchen. Their coffee maker must have a timer. Fancy. The smell of it is intoxicating and it pulls her out from under her covers. Before those detectives call, she could use a cup or three. Although, she doesn’t feel as frazzled as she expected. She’s oddly... _okay_. 

Last night was one of those hypothetical scenarios that had, in the past, kept her from relocating to a big city. She always thought she wouldn’t be able to handle it -- that she was too soft or weak. She’s not sure where she got that idea, but since moving to Chicago that feeling has been fleeting at best. She’s felt tough and strong. Learning to be the kind of paramedic that can thrive in Chicago would do that to anyone she suspects.

She by no means thinks she’s invincible, but she can take on more than she previously thought. She can face down her worst fears and survive. 

She can do this -- this making Chicago her bitch thing. She _knows_ she can.

The easiest things to locate in their kitchen are the mugs, glasses, and bowls. Not that she’s surprised by that. Shay and Severide seem to live off of coffee, alcohol, and cereal so it makes sense. She’s sitting down at the counter with her first cup of the morning when she hears muffled footfalls behind her. She turns to find Matt crossing the living room. 

“Good morning,” he says with a tired half smile. “You sleep okay?”

His eyes look overly concerned and she can’t resist an amused snort at his expense.

“I slept perfectly. It’s a couch not a tent on the ground, Casey,” she quips with a smirk. “I was fine.”

“You weren’t nervous about being out in the open at all?” He asks, suspiciously, while walking over to the coffee maker. “It would be understandable after a break in.”

It didn’t even occur to her that being near the door in a large wide space should make her nervous. She felt perfectly safe with Matt, Leslie, and Kelly around. 

“No,” she told him with a shrug. “I was fine, but now I understand why you guys were all being so weird last night. It wasn’t about me having a mattress to sleep on, was it?”

He chuckles and shakes his head as he pulls down a mug for himself. “No, it wasn’t.”

Her phone rings, interrupting their conversation. There’s only one possibility of who’s on the other end of the line this early in the morning. It has to be the detective Burgess promised would call. She steps away to answer it. It’s a relatively short conversation where she answers the same questions she answered last night and they basically reply with ‘thanks for the information but don’t hold your breath’. She expects it. Roman warned her they might brush her off last night. But it’s fine.

She got her stuff back and she was unharmed. It was all going to be okay. 

When she steps back over to the kitchen, she finds Shay and Severide have joined Casey and breakfast is being prepared. It looks like pancakes and bacon which is perfectly acceptable to her.

Casey is also hanging up the phone. He nods at her to indicate he needs to talk to her. They step off to the side to get out of Shay and Severide’s way. 

“Just got ahold of your landlord,” Casey tells her. “He said to get a door and install it and leave the receipts with you so he can reimburse you. I can take care of it today. I mentioned a security system to him as well but he didn’t seem very eager to concede on that one. I’ll make sure to install a couple of extra deadbolts and a chain, but you’re gonna have to push him a little harder on the alarm.”

“Or,” Shay calls from across the kitchen. “You could move out of Pilsen.”

“I’ll be fine,” she tells Shay before turning back to Casey. “Thank you. I appreciate that. What do I owe you?”

Severide laughs obnoxiously and gives Matt a knowing look. “Sometimes I forget she’s new and then she asks something like that.”

Matt gives Kelly an unimpressed glance before addressing her. “Nothing. Don’t worry about it. Besides, I haven’t exactly been keeping up with the construction and remodeling business lately. This’ll be good for me. It’ll let me dust off the cobwebs. Probably literally when it comes to my toolbox.”

“Casey, no,” Sylvie protests. “I know it’s a minor job but that’s still time you could spend doing something else--”

“Forget it,” he insists. “It’s a safety issue and you’re a friend. I’m not charging you. If it makes you feel better about it then you can buy me lunch or something.”

They finish breakfast and then head out to purchase a door and enough deadbolts to make her apartment feel like a top secret military bunker. She’s not picky about what it looks like as long as it’s sturdy and keeps the weather out and central heating and air in. She lets Matt choose. While she loves her home improvement shows, she’s pretty sure he’s more knowledgeable than her. 

She pays for it out of her savings and fully intends to pester her landlord until he actually does reimburse her. Either that or takes it off her rent. His choice.

Matt’s absolutely right about the installation. It doesn’t take long at all. When it’s done, Casey gives her the new keys and the receipts and she takes him out for Chicago deep dish. They’re sitting on stools at a counter while they eat. Casey finishes first, wipes his hands on a napkin, and turns to her with a curious glance.

“I haven’t heard your phone ring since the detectives called this morning,” he says observantly.

Her brow furrows in confusion. “No. You haven’t. Should you have?”

“You left Harrison a voicemail last night. He hasn’t called and it’s almost two o’clock,” Matt reminds her. 

“Oh my God,” she says with a startled glance. “I totally forgot about that.”

Matt’s concern turns to mirth as he grins at her. “You forgot about your ex-fiance?”

She chuckles and shoves his shoulder playfully. “Stop laughing.”

“I’m not!” He says, holding his hands up in surrender. The amusement is still crystal clear in his eyes even as he claims innocence.

“No, but you want to!”

“Come on!” He rests his elbows on the counter and leans over his empty plate. “You gotta admit, it’s pretty funny. Plus, I gotta say, I’m relieved.”

“Relieved?” She asks.

“If you’re already forgetting that he exists then I doubt you’ll be leaving anytime soon,” he answers with a shrug and a smile.

She smiles back at him as she thinks about his words. A soft chuckle escapes her before she nods slowly. “Huh. I hadn’t thought about it that way before.” She pauses thoughtfully before continuing. “I like what I’m starting here,” she tells him. “Even with the break in, I’m not ready to pack it up and go. I’m just finding my footing, you know?”

His smile tilts and she thinks she sees pride flash across his face. A second later though, his expression evens out until he looks as neutral as he normally does at the firehouse. “Good. You’re a solid paramedic. I’d hate to see you leave just as the house is getting used to you.”

She quirks a brow at him and smirks. “Right, it’s the _house_ that’s getting used to me.”

He ignores her pointed remark and starts gathering up his trash. Her smirk doesn’t budge when he clams up. She knows he’d miss her, even if he won’t admit it. She knows because, despite being new, she’d miss him too and everyone else at 51.

******

Erin shows up after roll call the next day and drops a bomb on him. Jim isn’t broke. Jim has signed over all of his money to his mistress. _Jim_ will get away with it if his sister signs any sort of mediation agreement. Fucking fantastic. He’s pissed, but he’s not sure that’ll help him think clearly. He needs a sounding board again, and like Sylvie said last shift...she’s a pretty good one.

He goes off in search of her and finds her in the briefing room with the door closed. It’s not until he does a double take that he realizes she’s in the room with Harrison. The briefing room isn’t soundproof so once he’s close enough he can hear almost every word they’re saying.

The nerve of this guy to show up here after he ignored her call for over 24 hours. She was in trouble and she called him but he doesn’t even bother to call her back? He can’t possibly think Sylvie would still go back to Fowlerton with him after that, can he?

_“Someone broke into your apartment. They almost attacked you. You can’t stay here. You can’t handle this kind of life.”_

The hell she can’t, Matt thinks as his fists clench at his sides. He’s had enough of assholes this week. The more he digs into Jim the more he realizes he’s just like Sylvie’s ex.

_“But I did. I did handle it. I actually picked up a baseball pat and yelled at the guy. He freaked out.”_

_“That’s nuts.”_

_“...yeah. Yeah I guess it kind of was.”_

What the fuck? Nuts? It was quick thinking and _bad ass_. He knows he shouldn’t be eavesdropping but this conversation is too infuriating to walk away now. He leans against the wall next to the door, just out of sight. He listens with a small proud grin as Sylvie tells him that Chicago is the right place for her. Based on yesterday, he suspected that would be her answer. He likes being right.

_“...but that doesn’t mean we have to stop being together.”_

_“Sylvie, I hate to say this but I don’t think you’re dealing with the reality of all this. I mean, sooner or later this is gonna be another one of those things you just...give up on. But this time you could really get hurt. Everyone sees it. We’re all worried about you.”_

What a fucking asshole. He knows manipulation when he hears it and it suddenly sheds a new light on everything he’s gotten out of Sylvie about Harrison. This son of a bitch must regularly do his best to put her down and undermine her confidence. He’s known guys like this and he hates each and every one of them. They get a thrill out of making sure their significant others stay dependent on them. Hell, his father was like this. He grew up listening to this kind of emotional abuse every day. He’s almost ready to jump in and ask this bastard to leave when Sylvie begins to speak.

_“There it is.”_

_“There what is?”_

_“That feeling. I haven’t felt it since I left Fowlerton. Since you left me. I almost forgot about it. That pit in my stomach that I get when you...you try and cut me down and make me feel like I’m crazy!”_

_“Sylvie--”_

_“I think you should go.”_

_“Come on, Sylvie…”_

And _that_ is his cue. He opens the door and steps one foot into the room.

“Everything okay here?” He asks with a murderous glare at Harrison.

“You again?” Harrison asks with a scoff. “Maybe you should mind your own business, man.”

“Everything’s fine,” Sylvie says, throwing her own death glare at her ex-fiance. “Harrison was just leaving.”

The bells go off as he starts to protest again. Sylvie walks toward Casey and the open door.

“Sylvie, you walk out that door and I’m not gonna be here when you get back.”

She gives him one last glare over her shoulder before defiantly marching out the door. Matt smirks at her and then narrows his eyes on Harrison.

“Don’t let the door hit you on the way out,” Matt tells him with a dry chuckle before he turns and follows Sylvie to the apparatus floor. 

Time to get to work. He’ll have to talk to her about Harrison and his sister later.

******

When Truck and Squad get back from the call, Casey does a walk through of the house to make sure Harrison actually is gone. True to his word, he’s not around. For Harrison’s sake, Casey’s glad for it. Given how riled up he is about Jim, he might have knocked the guy’s teeth out.

A half hour later, 61 pulls in and Matt can clearly hear the driver’s side door slam from where he’s double checking 81. She’s still pissed and he can’t blame her. He meets her halfway across the floor.

“You alright?” He asks.

“Yeah,” she says with a huff. “I’m sorry you had to walk up on that.”

“I’m not,” he tells her with a tilted grin. “Hearing you tell him off made my day.”

In spite of the anger still lingering in her eyes, she laughs and smiles at him. “Well, then I’m glad something good came from all of that. The only thing I’ll be getting out of it is a few pounds from all the wine and ice cream I’m gonna have tonight.” She winces and then shakes her head as if shaking the impending funk away. “But enough about Harrison. I am _done_ with Harrison. How are things with you?”

“Uh, let me put it this way, according to Erin Lindsey from Intelligence Harrison and Jim have a lot in common. They’re both dicks who think they can get away with hurting people any time they want,” he informs her as he crosses his arms over his chest and sighs heavily. “Jim isn’t broke. He’s just trying to keep the money out of my sister’s hands and using mediation to do it. She has no idea, and I don’t even know if I should tell her. Would it hurt worse or less to know that her husband is not only cheating on her but also trying to con her out of sufficient support?”

“Maybe this is my bitterness talking,” Sylvie starts as she rests her hands on her hips. “But I say tell her. She needs to know who Jim really is when she’s not with him. It’ll hurt like hell to hear it, but it’ll save her from even more pain in the long run.”

Sylvie’s right. He just hates that she’s right. Giving his sister this news is going to be terrible, but he has to do it. After shift, he’ll go visit her place and fill her in on what’s been going in. Right here and right now, he promises to do everything he can to help Violet and Christie. If he wants to be a truly good brother and uncle, they deserve nothing less.

“Thanks, Brett,” Matt tells her with a quick nod.

“Anytime. Honestly, present company excluded, I am so sick of _men_. Who died and made any of you king of _anything_?” Sylvie declares in frustration. “I can’t believe I ever even _considered_ getting back together with that asshat.”

Neither can he, he thinks as he watches her storm off, but he’s extremely glad she finally got her chance to kick that loser to the curb. She’s too good for him. She deserves to be the one to leave. 


	13. Wait and See

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sylvie gets invested in a call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** We are now on my version of 306. So, we’re gonna have a little more of a Severide and Sylvie focus for the next couple of chapters. ;) Hope you like it!
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> angellwings

******

_“Lives change like the weather._

_I hope you remember,_

_Today is never too late to,_

_Be brand new._

_It's all right, just wait and see._

_Your string of lights are still bright to me._

_Oh, who you are is not where you've been._

_You're still an innocent.”_

_-“Innocent” by Taylor Swift_

******

Maybe ambushing Jim and his girlfriend at that restaurant wasn’t the best idea. But he’s fed up with pain and loss and fucking injustice. Not to mention, _assholes_. Jim, Harrison, Welch…

They’re all bastards who get away with being bastards and just this once he can’t let it happen.

Besides, he’s standing up for his sister. Maybe she doesn’t have the strength to fight Jim right now, but Matt does. He’ll take this on for her and Violet and he will fucking win because he’s goddamn sick and tired of losing. He gets the name of a divorce attorney from Newhouse and decides to make an appointment for after he’s off shift tomorrow. Jim won’t make this easy so Christie is going to need all the help she can get. Before he’s even had a chance to call this Bankhead guy a call comes in. 

Juvenile in distress turns out to be a little boy with his head stuck in a balcony guardrail. It’s a close call but between himself, Severide, and Herrmann the boy is fine. In his peripherals he keeps an eye on Brett and the boy and grins as he overhears her talking to the kid about snakes. The boy loves snakes and Sylvie apparently raised them as a kid. He knew her country girl charm would keep things interesting. 

He and Severide exchange a look when the mom seems like she’s going to be difficult but Sylvie handles it with appropriate firmness. Shay thinks so too by the way she’s beaming at her with both pride and amusement. 

After clean up and getting back to the house, Matt calls Bankhead and discusses the details of Christie’s case. Bankhead says he’ll take a day to dig into it and then asks to meet with them the next morning. Matt agrees and then convinces his sister to at least hear the lawyer out. With that done, he stretches out and sips on his coffee to give himself a moment before he starts working on paperwork. During his quiet moment, Brett appears at his door.

She looks guilt stricken with her eyes downcast and her teeth sunk into her bottom lip. 

His brow furrows. “Everything go okay with the boy?”

She nods and then looks up at the ceiling with a shrug. Uncertainty is illustrated through every bit of her body language. “The little boy is fine, yes, but…I wouldn’t say everything is _okay_.” She pauses, shakes her head, and then finally meets his eyes — looking pained. “DCFS took the boy. Something about her record being flagged and him being taken away from her once before. It was...hard to watch.”

“Wait, _that_ mom? I never would have suspected that with the way she put herself at risk to save him,” Casey replies in confusion.

“Yeah, me either. The little guy seemed perfectly happy and healthy,” she agrees. “Something about it isn’t sitting right with me.” She sighs and then tries to visibly shake it off. “Nevermind. I did my job. I got him to the hospital. Dropped him off. Now, I’m done. Right? That’s what we’re supposed to do.”

“That’s true. We can’t get involved in every call,” Casey tells her. “But…I don’t know I think sometimes pulling off a rescue goes beyond the initial save, you know?”

She blinks at him surprise and then a slow smile overtakes her face. “You’re the first person to say something like that to me. I keep being told not to ever get involved or attached. Once we drop them off, we let it go.”

“Majority of the time I would agree with that,” he says, lifting one shoulder carelessly. “But every now and then...you can’t help it. It’s who we are as first responders. We _help_ , and if we don’t then why are we here?”

“I like that,” she admits with a soft grin. “You’re a good guy, Matt Casey. But enough about me, how’d it go with your sister? Did you tell her about Jim?”

He sighs and nods. “I told her and it went as well as could be expected I guess. We’re meeting with a divorce attorney after shift. We’ll see what he says.”

“I can’t imagine,” Sylvie says sympathetically. “Not only is your sister trying to take care of a pre-teen girl on her own but now she’s going to have to fight her husband for enough to live on. A spouse should be a partner not an enemy. That’s awful.”

Even with the underlying anger he feels on his sister’s behalf, Sylvie’s idealistic assessment of marriage makes him grin softly. That’s what he’d like marriage to be too. It’s the opposite of his parents’ relationship. But that’s not for him. He’s come close a couple of times and both times ended in heartbreaking disaster. A sudden melancholy takes over, he might have had that with Gabby. Or maybe he and Hallie would have found their way to that eventually. He’ll never know. Those possibilities slipped through his fingers and aren’t coming back.

“Yeah, well, maybe never having a successful marriage is the Casey Family Curse,” he mutters bitterly. 

He can feel her eyes on him as she leans against the doorframe, but he doesn’t dare look up at her. He didn’t mean to speak that thought aloud. He’s not sure why he did. 

“Hey.”

Her voice is stony but not cold as she calls out to him, hoping to get his attention. 

It works.

He meets her huge blue eyes and finds her gaze full of sincerity and warmth. 

She shakes her head at him and smiles softly. “You’re not cursed, Casey. I know you’ve lost a lot and it must feel like that, but you’re not. Like I said earlier, you’re a good guy, and I truly believe you’ll get exactly what you want someday. Don’t give up on it just yet.”

He’s not sure how to respond to that. Turns out he won’t have to. He’s saved by the bells. Ambo is requested for a female in distress call and Brett has to leave before he can manage to find appropriate words.

Don’t give up on it just yet sounds like a simple request, but it isn’t. 

It’s easier to give up on that dream than to hold onto it. Holding onto it hurts too much. Besides that, right now he can’t imagine having the life he envisioned with anyone new. Maybe that will change as time goes on, but it’s hard to foresee that from where he is right now. 

******

Sylvie hasn’t had a chance to properly meet the new girl just yet. With everything that went down with Harrison and the insanity of her recent calls, it got lost in the shuffle. So, at the beginning of her next shift she makes the time.

“Hi,” she says as she sits down next to her at the long table. “I’m Sylvie Brett. One of the paramedics on 61.”

She holds out her hand and Kidd accepts it quickly for a shake.

“Stella Kidd,” she replies. “I’ve watched you on Ambo. You’re good.”

Sylvie beams at her and nods. “I’ve been watching you on calls too. The sweatshop call where you went out of your way to get the water...badass.”

“Thanks!” She says brightly. 

Her eyes drift over Sylvie’s shoulder and she smiles weakly. Sylvie turns to look just in time to see Severide pull a u-turn and retreat from the Common Room. 

“What was that about?” Brett asks her with a smirk. “He’s been avoiding you since you showed up here.”

“It’s nothing,” Stella says with a dismissive wave of her hand. She chuckles to herself and shakes her head. “We ran into each other at the Academy a couple of times, that’s all. How long have you been at 51?”

“Just over a month,” Sylvie answers.

Kidd looks shocked. “Seriously? With the way you get along with everyone here I would have thought you’d been here forever.”

She laughs and shrugs. “No. I’m new just like you. I think it’s just the way this house is. They actually are a family. That’s not just something they say.”

“A lot of people have been whispering in my ear about 51,” Stella says. “They say this is a problem house. More than a few people told me I should work on transferring out as soon as possible.”

“I don’t know about that,” Sylvie replies honestly. “As far as I can tell the best and most capable people in the department work here, but then I’ve only been here a month so...it’s hard to say. But I can tell you that if you do good work and respect everyone here then it won’t take them long to adopt you.”

“Thanks,” Kidd says, nodding slowly. “That’s good advice.”

Shay appears at the common room door, interrupting their chat. “Brett, you’ve got a visitor.”

“See ya around,” Sylvie says as she walks away. 

“What’s the new girl like?” Shay asks as they walk toward the apparatus floor.

“She seems nice, but she’s a bit stand off-ish. She has some sort of past with Severide that I think might be worrying her,” Brett replies. “Hopefully, the longer she’s here the more she’ll relax.”

“It probably doesn’t help that Sev avoids her like the plague,” Shay tells her with a delighted grin. “Seeing him look so embarassed is a rare treat. He’s usually pretty shameless.”

“You know what happened, don’t you?” She asks her partner with a raised brow.

“He had no choice but to tell me,” Shay admits with a laugh. “He needed me to bail him out of jail.”

Her eyes go wide. “Jail? What the hell? What did he do?”

“I’ve been sworn to secrecy,” Leslie answers with a shake of her head. “I can’t tell you, but it’s not as big of a deal as he thinks it is.” Shay stops walking when they reach the ambo and gestures toward the woman on the edge of the app floor. “There she is.”

“That’s the mom from the balcony call last shift,” Sylvie says with a furrowed brow. 

“You want me to stick around?” Shay asks worriedly.

“No,” Brett answers. “I’ll be fine.”

As she approaches the mom she feels someone on her heel. She turns her head to see Severide following her with concern written across his face. The Squad Lieutenant hadn’t spent much time with her. Sylvie felt like she knew his best friends rather well, but she knew next to nothing about him. She wonders what has him paying closer attention to her now. 

The mother tries to talk to them about her son and Sylvie is more than willing to listen, but Severide isn’t. The mom leaves abruptly and doesn’t stop when Sylvie calls her back. She turns and gives him an outraged glare.

He holds his hands up in a placating gesture as he explains himself. “Don’t get involved. We all get invested, but there’s a line you can’t cross. Okay?”

She opens her mouth to argue but a call comes in before she can. Severide’s advice is almost the exact opposite of Casey’s words last shift. She doesn’t know how to resolve the two right now and she doesn’t have the time to try. She’ll have to continue this discussion when she gets back. 

The call is one of the oddest she’s ever responded to. Shay loves it the minute one of the patients answers the door. The guy is high out of his mind and has a tuning fork sticking out of his eye. He doesn’t seem to notice it, though. He’s too worried about his friend. Once they find the reason they were called to the house, it becomes clear that an argument escalated — likely because of drug use. There’s destroyed pieces of instruments everywhere, and she pulls a corndog out of the other guy’s throat. The guy with the tuning fork in his eye choked him with it.

“Those are the kind of calls that keep this job interesting,” Shay says as they arrive back at the house. She laughs as she opens the passenger side door. “I wish the guy wasn’t too high to tell us exactly how the tuning fork ended up in his eye. I’d love to know. Then again...it might be more fun to guess.”

Brett chuckles and rolls her eyes fondly. “You’re sick.”

“You know it, baby.”

She spots Severide at the Squad table and their conversation before the call comes back to her, bothering her all over again. She walks toward him with a determined glare. He shouldn't have treated that mother the way he did. She’s going through enough.

“Can I talk to you?” She asks him.

Capp excuses himself and as soon as he’s gone Sylvie continues.

“That sucks. What do you mean, don’t get involved? It’s not like they stop being people when the call ends.”

He takes a deep breath and glances around the floor before answering her. “Shay has a habit of getting in too deep and it’s taken her to some dark places. I don’t want that to happen to you. I’m just...watching your six. You never know what’s really going on.”

“Well,” She says with a sigh. “I just treated a meth head with a tuning fork stuck in his eye and even that guy stepped up and called 911 to save his buddy.” She pauses and debates whether or not she should keep going. She doesn’t often tell people her personal philosophy. She told Harrison once and he reacted as if she were a naive child. But 51 isn’t Fowlerton. Maybe it’ll be different this time. “You quit giving somebody a second chance, they stop having one. I need your help on this.”

And, much to her surprise, he offers it.

“But we’re checking her out before we dive into this. I don’t want to get this kid back to her, only to have him be worse off in the end.”

“That sounds perfectly reasonable to me,” she agrees.

He flashes her a crooked smirk and lets out a long suffering sigh. “Come on, let’s take a ride.”


	14. On the Line

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sylvie has a very good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** This chapter is the last part of 306! Hope you guys enjoy! Also, this is the part where I remind you guys that this is a _**slow burn long game**_ that WILL result in Brettsey. Why am I reminding you? Well...you’ll see. ;) 
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> Angellwings
> 
> PS - I anticipate that half of you will love the end of this chapter and half of you will hate it. Let’s see how right I am, lmao. 

******

_“Puttin' my defences up,_

_'Cause I don't wanna fall in love._

_If I ever did that, I think I'd have a heart attack._

_Never put my love out on the line,_

_Never said yes to the right guy,_

_Never had trouble getting what I want,_

_But when it comes to you, I'm never good enough.”_

_-“Heart Attack” by Demi Lovato_

******

They’re on their way back from the DCFS offices, where they likely utterly failed at helping The Keanes, and feeling a bit disheartened. Sylvie decides they need a topic that might lift their spirits -- or at least hers. 

“So,” She says, pausing to chew on her bottom lip for a moment. She’s not sure she should ask but she’s dying to know. “What’s with you and Kidd?”

“What? Nothing,” he replies urgently. “Why would you ask that?”

“Because you leave any room she’s in and won’t look her in the eye,” Sylvie replies with a knowing grin. “Obviously you’ve met her before.”

“Yeah, at the Academy. I instructed there last year--”

“Uh, no, don’t give me that,” Sylvie says, cutting off his lie before he can finish it. “I’m not buying it.”

He blows out an exhausted breath and narrows his eyes on her. “It wasn’t what you’re thinking.”

“I’m not thinking anything,” she says honestly. “Except that whatever happened is awkward for you.”

“Before I tell you this,” Severide starts with a resigned sigh. “You cannot tell anyone else. I’m only telling you because Shay and Casey trust you and they’re the best judges of character that I know. But this is a secret you will have to take to your _grave_.”

“My grave?” She asks with raised brows. Damn, this must be truly serious if he wants her to take it to her grave. He glares at her when she questions him and she draws an ‘x’ over her heart with her finger in response. “Cross my heart.”

“I didn’t know she was married,” he prefaces. “I saw her. I thought she was...attractive, and she was bad ass at everything at the Academy. It was a two month long training course and she impressed me, you know? A lot.”

Sylvie smiles warmly at him and nods. “You liked her.”

He gulps and nods. “Yeah, I liked her. And I got a little overserved one night. I knew her address from her paperwork and I...I ended up letting myself in her back door with flowers and champagne.” He winces as he finishes telling her the story and doesn’t look her way even once.

She presses her lips together to keep from laughing at him. When she feels composed enough, she nods. “You let yourself into her _house_?”

“I was drunk!” He says defensively. “And there was a key under the mat!”

“I’m not sure that makes it better,” she replies, still trying not to laugh at his humiliated expression.

“Trust me, I know. Anyway, her husband came at me with both barrels -- well technically a banjo or something that looked like a banjo? And what am I supposed to do? Just stand there and take it? Hell no! So I punched him back. But I guess our scuffle bothered the neighbors and they called the cops. Had to get Shay to come and bail me out,” Kelly explains with a grimace. “Not my finest hour.”

“How did no one at the house find out?” Brett asks in shock. She is completely entertained by this story. 

“Kidd got her husband to drop the charges and Shay somehow convinced everyone at the precinct to keep their mouths shut. To this day, I don’t know how she did it and I don’t wanna know how. I just want to forget it ever happened. You got that?”

“I crossed my heart, didn’t I?” She asks with an amused grin. “Can I offer you a little advice, though? Speaking as someone who got herself into an awkward situation with a Lieutenant at 51.”

He gives her a sideways glance but nods reluctantly. “Go ahead.”

“I know you want to forget it, but you should at least talk it out with Kidd,” Brett suggests. “I think she’s self conscious about it because you can’t seem to be around her unless there’s a rescue or a fire underway. I think it’d go a long way toward helping her get settled into the house. Plus, wouldn’t you like to not have to hide in your own Firehouse?”

“You and Casey really aren’t awkward about how you met?” Severide asks in disbelief.

She shrugs. “Sometimes. That first day was certainly weird, but since we talked about it we’ve had an easier time with it. I mean, we’ve gotten past it enough to be friends -- really good friends -- at least. I bet you and Kidd could too.”

They pull the Chief’s buggy into the Firehouse as he nods thoughtfully. “Thanks, Brett. I’ll consider it.”

“Anytime,” Sylvie replies with a shrug. “Thanks for coming with me to talk to the mom and DCFS. I appreciated the back up.”

“What can I say?” He asks with a smirk and a shake of his head. “You’re very persuasive. Maybe _too_ persuasive. Remind me never to underestimate you.”

“Oh, believe me, I will,” she says as she grins and steps out of the buggy. “You’ll never forget it again.”

She reaches the bunkroom and stops beside her bunk. There’s a kid in Casey’s quarters. A girl, who looks to be about 12, sitting on the foot of his bed. She’s reading a book. It’s a book that Sylvie knows well. Sylvie assumes the girl is Matt’s niece, Violet. She approaches the open door to his quarters and leans against the frame.

“ _The Witch of Blackbird Pond_?” Sylvie asks. “I loved that book as a kid.”

Violet looks up and smiles excitedly at her. “You’ve read it?”

“Only like a hundred times,” Sylvie replies with a chuckle. “Where are you?”

“Nat just offered to take Kit with him on _The Dolphin_ and she said no,” Violet answers her with an eye roll. “I don’t understand why they can’t just admit they’re in love. I mean Nat thinks she wants to be engaged to that Ashby guy! Which is just wrong!”

“Well, no good love story is complete without at least a little drama,” Sylvie says, laughing softly. “But that Nat Eaton sure is a hunk, huh?”

She nods. “For sure. If only he weren’t fictional. Do you work with my Uncle Matt?”

Sylvie nods and reaches out her hand to shake Violet’s. “I’m Sylvie. I’m a paramedic here at 51.”

“Violet,” she replies. “So, do paramedics really get more calls than the firefighters? Gabby...Gabby told me that once. Is it true?”

“You mind if I sit?” She asks as she points to the space beside Violet on the bed.

“No, please.”

Brett sits next to her before she answers her question. “We do get more calls. Health emergencies are a little more frequent than fires or rescues, but that doesn’t mean they’re any worse or better.”

“And you back up Uncle Matt on all his calls too?” She asks.

“When we’re needed, yeah,” she tells her with a small smile. “Don’t worry, there are lots of people who have your uncle’s back at any given moment on any given day.”

“Including you?”

That question didn’t come from Violet. She looks up toward the door and finds Matt smirking at her. She rolls her eyes but smirks right back at him.

“Including me.”

He turns from her to Violet and gestures behind him with a nod. “Your mom’s here.”

Violet shoves her book in her backpack and stands up. Sylvie stands with her. Before Violet reaches the door she looks over her shoulder at Sylvie.

“Does the book have a happy ending?” She asks. “Because if it doesn’t have a happy ending then I don’t want to finish it.”

“Oh no,” Sylvie says with a fond smile. “You’re not getting anything out of me. If you want to find out what happens then you’ll have to finish it.”

“Fair enough,” Violet replies, laughing. “Thanks, Sylvie. See you around!”

“Yeah, see you around,” Brett repeats. Matt mouths his own ‘thank you’ to her as he walks away with Violet. She waves it off and makes her way back to her bunk. 

The next call of the day is a tense hostage situation where Stella has an amazing save. Since she’s new to the house, Brett wants it to work out for her but the patient doesn’t make it. It’s disappointing but it does make her even more determined to help The Keanes. She convinces Shay to make a stop by DCFS and camps out in the office until something is actually done -- right then. No more of this, ‘we’ll look into it’ bullshit. 

She gets back to the house in a great mood. A feeling of accomplishment washes over her. Helping people is what she was born to do. No matter what form that takes.

The rest of shift is pretty peaceful. As she’s leaving, the mom from the balcony call shows up. Kelly grins and points her in Sylvie’s direction. She’s rushed with a hug and told the mom and son have been reunited and then the mom rushes off again. It’s over in a blink but the satisfied feeling stays with her. 

“You did good, Brett,” Kelly assures her. “That was all you.”

She smiles bashfully and shrugs. “You helped. Don’t give me all the credit.”

“Well, still, I owe you a beer,” Severide says. “See you at Molly’s tonight?”

“Yeah, wouldn’t miss it,” she replies.

******

She arrives at Molly’s just as Severide and Stella are wrapping up a conversation in the back corner of the bar. She shoots Kelly a questioning glance. He grins and shrugs. She’s not sure what that means, but he doesn’t look angry or ashamed so she assumes it went well. She waves at Matt and Shay as they sit at the bar but passes them to find Kidd. 

“Brett, hey,” she says as Sylvie approaches.

“Hey,” Brett replies as she takes a seat. “How’s it going?”

“Good, actually! Surprisingly, good,” Stella tells her with a genuine smile. “I heard you got that kid back to his mom?”

She nods. “I did! It took a sit-in to do it but I managed.”

“Congratulations! That’s amazing,” Stella tells her. “Really. Most people I’ve talked to don’t want to get involved in those kinds of things but sometimes people need a little hand up. I respect that.”

“Thank you,” Sylvie replies. “That last save you had today was phenomenal, by the way. You wielded that sledge like a seasoned pro.”

She puffs up her chest and pretends to dust off her shoulder. “Well, you know, I may be the candidate but that doesn’t make me any less of a bad ass.”

Brett laughs and nods. “I’ll drink to that.” She points to the bar and then at Stella’s empty bottle. “You want another? My treat.”

“How can I say no to that? Sure, another round won’t hurt.”

“I’ll be right back.”

While she waits for their drinks at the bar, Shay takes up one of the other empty chairs next to Stella. Sylvie smiles to herself at the gesture. They’ve both been a little delayed in welcoming Stella into the fray. She’s glad that’s changing now. 

“Hey.”

She turns her head to find Matt grinning at her. “Hey.”

“Violet really liked you today, by the way. Christie said she talked about you the entire drive home,” Matt informs her with a grateful smile. “Thanks for that. She’s had a tough time lately.”

“My pleasure, really. She’s a sweet kid. Tell her I say hello next time you see her.”

“I’ll be seeing her tonight, actually, so I’ll make sure to let her know,” Matt tells her. “She’ll love that.” He pauses and looks at his watch. “In fact, I should probably go. Christie will kill me if I’m any later than I already am. I’ll see you next shift, Brett.”

“Yeah,” she replies as he heads for the door. “See you next shift!”

Her drinks are set down in front of her as the door opens again and a cheer goes up around the bar.

“Mills!” Herrmann explains. “Long time, no see! Where ya been, kid?”

“Working my ass off at 105. Paramedics don’t sit around and watch TV all day like some people,” Mills quips with a sharp smirk.

“Here, here,” Sylvie throws in with a laugh.

Herrmann grumbles goodnaturedly as he walks away and Sylvie can’t help but let out another quiet chuckle.

“I should buy you a drink for that burn,” Brett tells Mills with a bright smile. “Honestly, I think it means more coming from a former Squad guy. I never could have pulled that off.”

“Sure you could have,” he assures her. “It’s all about confidence. You just need practice that’s all.”

Her eyes meet his and then drift down to his smile. She didn’t really notice during the few shifts they worked together, but Pete Mills has a killer smile. And solid firm shoulders. Probably a chest to match. God, he’s actually really damn cute all the way around, isn’t he?

She runs a hand through her hair, flips it back over her shoulder, and smiles sweetly at him. “Are you offering to tutor me in the ways of trash talk, Peter Mills?”

A slow smile spreads across his face as his eyes take her in too, from head to toe. “I could,” he replies. “If you want. But it would take more than just tonight. Might require at least a couple of additional study sessions.”

She chuckles and blushes. “Well, that’s understandable. Trash talk is an art form or so I’m told, anyway.”

“Maybe I can buy you a drink another night and we can hash out the details?” He asks. 

He sounds unsure yet somehow confident all at once and it causes a low fluttering in her stomach. Had he always been this...interesting? She’d worked with him for nearly a month and never once felt like _this_ around him. Granted, she tried very hard not to think of anyone at 51 in the romantic sense. Accidentally sleeping with a Lieutenant scared her off in house romances. Probably for good.

But...Mills is no longer working at 51. That opens up a whole treasure trove of possibilities she’d never considered before.

“Yeah,” she answers, trying not to sound too eager. “I’d like that.” She grabs a napkin off the bar and a pen out of her purse and quickly scrawls out her number. Her hand slides the napkin across the bar to him with an irrepressible goofy grin. “I should get back to Shay and Kidd, but give me a call and we’ll work out a night. Okay?”

He nods with a grin that matches hers and tucks the napkin into his jacket pocket. “Okay. I’ll talk to you later then.”

“Yes, definitely later,” she assures him. She waves awkwardly before grabbing her and Stella’s drinks and leaving. It takes all of her concentration to not trip under the weight of his eyes following her across the room. Now is not the time to be a klutz. 

She hands Stella her beer and then takes a long gulping sip of her wine. “Oh my god, what just happened?”

Given the knowing smirks on Shay and Kidd’s faces, she doubts she has to fill them in. 

Shay snorts and laughs softly. “I think you just got asked out on a date, Farmgirl.”

Stella nods her agreement. “Looked that way to me too. And can I just say, holy hell! That guy was cute! Good for you, girl!”

“Should I go?” She asks them. “I haven’t been on a date in like two years! And even though we’re not in the same house, we still work together! He’s a paramedic. We’ll see each other in passing or maybe on calls--”

“Please,” Leslie says with a scoff and an eyeroll. “Those are both lame excuses. You’re going. It’s high time you see what romance is like when the guy doesn’t treat you like his secretary. Mills is the best person for that. He’s great! Honestly, I think you two will really hit it off.”

“Just take it one step at a time,” Stella advises. “First go on the date and _then,_ if you have a good time, worry about how to handle it at work. You never know, it may not actually lead anywhere and you could be stressing out over nothing.”

“True,” Sylvie says as she nervously tugs at her watch band. “Very true. One step at a time.”

“Yep,” Kidd says before repeating herself. “One step at a time. You’re just looking to have a little fun for now and if it leads to something more then great! But we’re not going to think about that until much later. Got it?”

She nods and takes a deep breath. “Got it.”

Holy shit, she has a date! And not just any date.

A date with Peter Mills!


	15. You Don't Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt gets some surprising news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** I skipped 307 as I wouldn’t have changed much from that episode and there weren’t any significant moments to add in. This picks up at the start of 308 (though one key part of 307 is mentioned here because no way I’m leaving it out lol). I know there was a bit of a mixed reaction to last chapter’s ending but just stick with me here, guys. I promise this is all leading toward bringing Brett and Casey closer and toward them learning much needed things about who they are and what they deserve. ;)
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> angellwings

******

_“Walked in expecting you'd be late,_

_But you got here early and you stand and wait._

_I walk to you._

_You pull my chair out and help me in,_

_And you don't know how nice that is, but I do.”_

_-“Begin Again” by Taylor Swift_

******

“Wait, hold on, are you trying to tell me that Joe Cruz teaches an aerobics class in _Pilsen_?” Mills asks with a shocked and elated expression. 

“Not aerobics,” she corrects, gently. “Zumba.”

“I have no idea what that is,” Pete says with a soft laugh. 

“It’s like...dancing, I guess? Like really high energy dancing,” she explains. “And you can’t tell anyone! I promised Cruz I wouldn’t!”

“Right, you said you wouldn’t tell anyone if you could...teach him to cook? Did I hear that right?”

“He’s working on a menu for Molly’s II and the guy tries but he’s really not a great cook,” Sylvie says with an apologetic wince. “And I do enjoy cooking, I just never want anyone to expect me to make dinner every night without question.” 

She shudders as she remembers Harrison’s reaction if dinner wasn’t ready when he got home. He was such a pissy little prick about it. God, why the hell did she stay with him for so long?

“Trust me,” Mills says with a sympathetic smile. “I get that. My family’s been in the restaurant business my whole life. All my friends and exes expected me to cook for them. I love it, but the assumption that I’ll do it gets on my nerves sometimes. You’re not alone.”

She has a question she’s been wanting to ask all night. Now that the first drinks have been finished off and half the appetizer is gone she feels as if they’ve been primed to talk about it.

“During the few weeks we were at 51 together, did you...did you notice me at all?” She asks him reluctantly.

“Honestly?” He begins. “No. But I had a lot going on. I was stressed about why I kept passing out and then I was having a hard time being at 51 without Gabby too. Plus, I’ve done an in-house relationship and it didn’t end well for me so I wasn’t _wanting_ to notice anyone at my same house.” He gives her a worried glance as if he expects her to be offended and then asks, “Did _you_ notice _me_?”

“I noticed you as a guy on Squad who was good at his job,” she replies. “But that’s it, really. I had a lot going on too. I was trying to settle into the job. Figure out how 51 worked and how I felt about Chicago. And, as for dating, I was just coming out of a long serious relationship. If I was going to get back out there I didn’t think it should be with someone I _have_ to work an entire 24 hours with. You know?”

He looks relieved as he smiles at her and nods. “I do know.”

“So, in-house relationship, huh?” Sylvie asks with a curious quirked brow.

His face falls just slightly and his expression turns somber. “Gabby and I dated. It was before she and Casey got together. So it was a while ago, but...it was pretty serious and it ended because I overreacted to something. I’ve regretted that for a while now.”

Sylvie reaches across the table and takes his hand in hers. She gives his hand a sympathetic squeeze. “I’m sorry, Peter. I’ve heard so much about her. It sounds like she was a courageous and compassionate person. I wish I could have met her.”

He squeezes her hand in return. “Based on what I’ve seen of you in the field, she would have liked you.”

“Yeah?” Sylvie asks excitedly. “You think?”

He nods and smirks. “It seems fairly difficult _not_ to like you, I think.”

She blushes and uses her free hand to bring her wine glass to her lips, taking a sip before she replies demurely. “I don’t know about _that_ , but thank you.” She glances down at their joined hands and takes in the warmth that spreads across her skin at his touch. “This might sound awful,” she says. “But I’m glad we don’t work at the same house anymore.”

He laughs quietly and nods. “Me too.”

“Also just, as a warning, I think you’re the first good guy I’ve ever dated,” Sylvie admits bashfully.

He adjusts their hands so that their fingers intertwine, and that feels even _better_. 

“What does that mean?” He asks with a hint of amusement in his tone.

“I’ve dated a lot of jerks and users,” she explains. “So, if this goes past tonight, it may be a bit of an adjustment for me.”

He grins and nods. “If? I haven’t sold you on me yet?” 

“More like I don’t know if I’ve sold you on _me_ and I didn’t want to assume anything.”

“Is it alright if I assume, though?” Mills asks as his grin spreads into a broad smile.

“Please, feel free,” she replies, reflecting his smile back at him.

“Good,” he says, still smiling. “I was thinking on our next date maybe we could cook together? I wanna see what kind of skills you’ve got. Especially, if you’re bartering them out to people.”

A giddy giggle escapes her when the words ‘our next date’ leave his lips. She nods as she answers. “I would love that. Maybe you can help me put together some menu ideas for Molly’s II.”

“Sounds like a plan,” he agrees. 

After dinner and drinks, Pete takes her home. She notes that he’s also a little horrified by her neighborhood. He never says it but she can see it in his body language.

She’s standing outside of her door with her keys in her hand. After a moment of awkward silence, she reaches to put her key in the deadbolt. As she turns it and moves on to the next deadbolt Matt installed Pete’s hand covers hers. She looks up at him curiously, but before she can ask what he needs his lips cover hers. She freezes for a split second, just long enough for Mills to pull away with an apologetic wince.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have--”

“No,” she says with a grin. “You should have.”

She wraps her arms around his neck and pulls his mouth back down to hers -- kissing him much more thoroughly than he kissed her. Pete responds in kind and tightens his arms around her. She’s flush against his chest and enjoys every bit of it. The solidness of his chest against hers, the strength of his arms around her waist, the smell of whatever cologne he decided to wear. It’s all made better by the fact that never once did he talk down to her and patronize her. All night long he was genuinely interested and encouraging. She wasn’t used to that.

He’s truly _nice_ and, like she told him, a nice guy is a brand new experience for her.

When they pull back to breathe, Mills is beaming brightly at her. 

“I’ll call you,” he says, taking a step backwards and nearly falling off the stoop. He catches himself just as Sylvie reaches for him and clears his throat with an awkward laugh. “I probably should look where I’m going.”

Sylvie chuckles and nods. “I’d hate for you to fall and die before our second date. That would be tragic.”

“Even if I have to haunt you from the grave, I’m going on that second date,” he quips with determination. “Trust me.”

Sylvie waits until he’s inside of his car before she finishes unlocking her door and heads inside. She waves from her front window to let him know she made it inside safely and then Mills drives away. A hand stays pressed to her lips the entire time -- everything in her is still tingling from his kisses. That was probably the best first date she’s had in a very long time. She can’t wait for the second.

******

“You know,” Sylvie says as Matt passes her bunk on the way to his quarters. She looks up and meets his eyes. “You never told me how it all ended with your sister and her husband.”

He stops walking and shrugs. “He came around. He’s paying for Violet’s tuition and gave them back the house. It all worked out.”

Her eyes narrow on him suspiciously. “Just like that, huh? With no extra convincing from you?”

“Well,” he says with a smirk. “I talked to him, of course, but that’s all I did.”

“Sure,” Sylvie tells him with a disbelieving grin. “You just talked.”

He did just talk, but that talk involved a little blackmail. Jim deserved it and Matt hadn’t lost even a minute of sleep over it.

“We just talked,” he repeats as he continues on his way to his office. 

Once he’s inside, she goes back to her book and he starts working on incident reports. He stands to reach for a set of regulations he needs and hears a startled gasp from outside his door.

“Oh my God! You scared the crap out of me,” Sylvie says in a low voice.

He turns his head in concern to find Cruz handing off a folded pink item. It looked like...clothes? Possibly? He thinks he hears the words “you left this at my place” leave Cruz’s mouth and something in the pit of his stomach _drops_. Like he’s on a high speed roller coaster. Cruz leans close to whisper with her and Matt watches in disbelief as he gently places his hands on Sylvie’s shoulders and arms.

There’s a knock on his door as Severide appears. “Knock, knock,” he says.

“Hey,” Matt greets as he tries to discreetly motion toward Sylvie and Joe with his head. “Are Cruz and Brett…”

Kelly turns to look, very slightly, and laughs. “Well, whaddya know?”

Nothing. He knows nothing and he wants to keep it that way. Brett’s personal life is her business and he has nothing to do with it. Or so he tells himself. He can’t explain the annoyance building in his chest and the way it causes his jaw to tense. Unfortunately for him, Severide knows him far too well.

“Does that... _bother_ you?” Kelly asks as one corner of his mouth tilts upward.

“What? No,” he lies. “Why would it?”

Kelly steps further into the small room and closes the door behind him. “I don’t know, Man. Maybe because you slept with her not that long ago and you might be feeling a bit attached to her?”

“It was a one night only thing,” he explains. “We were both clear about that. Besides, I’m still straightening myself out and trying to reconcile the fact that Gabby’s gone. I had a whole future in my head for her and me. I can’t just shake that off and move on, you know?”

“I know that,” Severide says with a sympathetic glance. “No one expects that. Just...don’t beat yourself up with guilt if you _happen_ to be a little jealous. Being jealous doesn’t mean you’re in love with her or that you even want to date her. It’s just a feeling, Casey.”

He shakes his head, partially to disagree with Kelly but also to try and shake the feeling away. He doesn’t like it. He’s not ready to move on from Gabby and the fact that some part of him doesn’t know that makes him irrationally angry. 

There’s a commotion in the bunkroom and the hallway beyond that. It grabs his attention as well as Severide and Brett’s. They follow the crowd to the common room where a messy helicopter crash is airing live on the news. About the time they all register what they’re seeing the bells go off — calling them to the scene.

The crash site is chaos when they arrive. There are debris and victims everywhere. Ambo starts triage, Truck starts evacuation, and Squad gets to the roof for the helicopter rescue. He sets his candidate free with a quick warning to her that she’ll need to step up on her own. He’s confident Kidd will be fine, but he has to give the warning as her lieutenant. 

His guys split up to find survivors and helicopter parts. All thoughts of Brett and Cruz and in-house hook ups are banished for the time being. 

At one point he briefly registers hearing Brett over his radio asking for assistance with a pinned in victim. He lets Chief handle it, though a part of him is tempted to track her down and help. The evacuation takes priority to everything else right now. By the time there’s people available to help 61, Brett cancels the order. He relaxes as her voice announces she and Shay are good to go. His full focus turns back to where it should be.

Until Boden splits up Ambo 61 and sends Shay to help Kidd with a skull fracture. The worry only has time to skim the surface of his brain, though. A few minutes later, he’s informed the victim with the skull fracture has a brother who got knocked off the roof and hasn’t been located yet. After that it becomes a race against time, blood loss, and live wires. He just barely pulls the kid clear before they’re both electrocuted.

61 leaves the scene with Kidd and Shay’s head trauma victim. Brett and Shay will be back at the house long before Truck or Squad. Once back at the house, he gets cleaned up and heads to his quarters to get started on his mountain of paperwork. He looks up when Sylvie walks in. She’s rubbing the back of her neck and generally looking exhausted, but he holds off on checking on her.

Severide’s right. He’s gotten a bit attached. He doesn’t know if that’s good or bad but maybe he should put a little space between them for the moment. He had no plan to approach her until he sees Cruz approach her bunk and whisper with her again. Whatever he says makes her smile through her fatigue and Matt feels that drop in his stomach again.

He decides since she’s new to the house, he should warn her about the difficulty of an in-house relationship. He’s looking out for her. It has nothing to do with the annoyance clawing at his chest. _Nothing_.

“Hey,” he says as he leans against one of the low privacy walls next to her bunk. “I know it’s none of my business and probably hilarious coming from… _me_ , but—“

“Oh, no. No, no, no. Cruz and I are not a thing.”

He thinks she’s lying to spare his feelings so he plows through. “I feel obligated to say that the whole firehouse romance thing isn’t easy. It’s different than getting passed what—well what _we_ got passed, you know? You have to _work_ at it.”

“No,” she says firmly but awkwardly as she stands up to meet him by the wall. “It’s not—it’s not what you think.”

“Yeah,” he replies with a disbelieving grin. 

His stomach is crawling with dread, but there’s nothing he can do. He meant what he told Severide earlier. He’s not ready for anything romantically right now. He can’t just put the future he wanted with Gabby in a box and bury it. He also can’t stop feeling like Brett with Cruz is... _wrong_. 

A part of him loved the fact that he knew a side of Brett that no one else in the Firehouse knew. He wasn’t ready to revisit that side of her, but he liked being the only guy in on it. Walking around here day in and day out knowing Cruz now knew what he knew was not going to be fun for him.

“Alright,” Sylvie said, finally. She looks from side to side nervously before turning back to him. “But this goes no further.” She chews on her bottom lip nervously before she continues. “I take Zumba classes at a gym in my neighborhood and Cruz...Cruz is the instructor.”

Matt’s eyes widen and a delighted smile overtakes his face. _That_ was not the secret he expected to hear. “ _What_? Zumba? Like the dancing aerobics thing?”

She nods and then smacks his shoulder, hard. “Yes! But you can’t tell _anyone_ , okay? I already broke my promise to Cruz by telling Mills. Joe will _kill me_ if anyone else finds out! Swear to me, you’ll keep it a secret!”

He laughs and holds his hands up in front of him. “I swear! I’ll forget I ever heard it!” But then he replays her words. “Wait, Mills? When did you see Mills?”

She blushes and nervously tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “Um, last night. We...had dinner and a couple of drinks. He’s nice. We’ve got another date set up in a couple of days.”

“Wow,” Matt says with a slow nod. “That’s...great! Mills is a good guy. I’m—I’m happy for you.”

She shrugs his reaction off. “Thank you, but it’s just a second date. It doesn’t mean it’ll go anywhere. I mean, with my track record it’s probably doomed already.” She laughs bitterly and rolls her eyes. “Nice guys don’t fall for me. They never have and probably never will.”

That’s the first pessimistic thing he’s ever heard her say. He’s taken aback by it. She can’t really think that’s true, can she?

“Don’t sell yourself short, Brett,” Matt assures her. “Dating guys like Harrison doesn’t reflect poorly on you. It looks bad for _them_. They’re the ones who didn’t appreciate what they had.” She doesn’t look as if she believes him and he shakes his head at her. “You haven’t dated any actual nice guys so how do you know they won’t fall for you?”

Even as jealousy coils around his lungs, he sees one thing very clearly. Peter Mills will absolutely fall in love with Sylvie Brett. Not only that, but he’ll be damn good for her. She needs to see how she _should_ be treated and find out that she can and will do better than dicks like Harrison. 

Matt may like her, but he’s in no position to show her that. If he let envy get the better of him and convince him to make a move out of anger or fear, he would end up hurting her and then he’d be just another dick to add to her dating rap sheet.

He won’t do that. Especially not now that they’ve become such good friends. He likes her too much to ruin that because he’s feeling stupidly possessive about knowing her better than anyone else in Chicago.

“I guess you're right,” Sylvie tells him with a weak smile. “I won’t know unless I give him a real chance, right? Nobody ever succeeded at anything while thinking they’ve already lost.”

“Exactly,” he agrees. He turns to walk away but she stops him by gently tugging on the hood of his sweatshirt.

“And not a word to _anyone_ about Cruz, okay? You swore!” She reminds him with her hands on her hips.

“I got it! Not a word!” He replies as he suppresses a grin at her stern expression.

After a beat, she deflates and sighs tiredly. “You’re gonna tell Shay, aren’t you?”

“Immediately,” he answers with a smirk and a chuckle. “This is too good not to share.”


	16. Lost and Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pieces are falling into place, but is that a good thing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** This chapter covers 309 and some of 310. We’re getting closer to a certain big S3 event that gave us our second BIG dose of Badass Brett. Hopefully you guys will like my version of it and the things I’ll be adding in. 
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> angellwings

******

_“Oh, Lord, it's been a long, long time,_

_I've been lost and found and lost again so many times,_

_I can't remember if I ever knew my way at all.”_

_-“Daylight” by Grace Potter_

******

She’s not sure at what point cooking became kissing but she has no plans to complain anytime soon. Mills has her pressed against the open door frame in her kitchen with his hands in her hair and his body pressed against her. The vegetables they were chopping up are forgotten and her arms wrap around him. Her flattened palms explore the feeling of his muscles through his t-shirt. Jesus, he’s well built.

He pulls away just slightly and moves his lips to her neck, kissing the curve of her throat twice.

“Your neighborhood is terrifying,” he says with a teasing grin as he leans back to meet her eyes.

She laughs and nods. “I’ve been told. By essentially everyone. But hearing it while making out with a cute guy is a new one so thanks for that.”

“You should come over to mine after next shift,” he says, turning his big beautiful brown eyes on her. “I have a better kitchen for cooking. Plus I’m rarely worried about a meth head breaking down my door.”

“Your place?” She asks before biting her lip through a smile. 

He nods. “I’ve got a kitchen table that I never get to use. It’s a great place to sit and eat dinner...and breakfast too. If you want.”

They’re officially only on date two but she’s seen him several times since their first date. They always end up hanging out at Molly’s and he’s still invited to 51 events on the regular. Thanks to all that extra time, she’s beginning to recognize the look he’s currently pointing at her. It’s heated and hungry. That’s usually the look he gives her right before a scorching kiss. So she has no doubts about what that invitation means.

“Peter Mills,” she asks with a flirtatious grin. “Are you trying to get me into bed?”

“Well, you know, I like you,” he says as he idly slides his hands down her upper arms. “I’m fairly certain you like me—“

“I do,” she interrupts, pushing up on her toes to kiss his cheek.

“I know you hate clowns, you have a younger brother, you were in a band in college, and you’re a damn good cook. I feel like that’s a good jumping off point for getting to the next step, don’t you?” He asks with a teasing smile.

“That’s good enough for me,” she replies with a wide smile. 

“Good,” he says with a warm gaze that travels from her eyes to her lips. “Now, let’s either finish dinner or clean up and order something because I’m starving.”

“Hey, you’re the one who distracted me with your lips! I was the one mincing and minding my business!” She accuses, laughingly, as she shoves him away.

“Don’t look so cute mincing and I won’t be tempted to distract you,” Pete says, grabbing a dish towel and playfully slinging it at her.

******

There’s a moment next shift where Sylvie thinks she’s made things irreparably awkward between her and Cruz. She should have seen it coming. Looking back his interest was obvious. The fact that Casey asked her about it a couple of weeks ago should have been enough of a sign. She feels _terrible_.

She stops by Matt’s quarters on her way out of the Firehouse and gives him an apologetic glance. 

“So, I feel like I should apologize. When you asked me about Cruz,” she starts. “I didn’t actually think he had a thing for me.”

He smirks crookedly and meets her eyes. “Uh oh, what happened?”

“He asked me out,” Sylvie says with a shake of her head. 

Matt laughs softly. “And you thought nice guys wouldn’t fall for you. Now you have two.”

She presses her lips together to keep from laughing with him and swats at his shoulder. “It’s not funny! Things are gonna be really awkward between me and him now! He’s one of my only friends in Chicago.”

“He’ll get over it,” Casey replies. “Cruz is resilient. Trust me. He’ll be weird for a few shifts but eventually it’ll be like nothing ever happened. You’ll see.”

“Yeah, but now I have to suffer through the weird,” she whines. 

“I’m telling you, it’ll only be a couple of shifts,” Matt assures her. “He’s a good guy and if you just want to be friends then he’ll respect that.”

She nervously runs a hand through her hair and nods. “I hope so. Are you coming to Molly’s tonight?”

“I wanna say yes,” he answers honestly. “But I started work on a new job and I’m pushing up against my client’s deadline so I need to put in some hours on the site when I leave here. Probably gonna end the day too wiped to make it to Molly’s.”

“Alright,” she says with a polite smile. “I’ll see you next shift then. Thanks for the pep talk.”

“What else is a Lieutenant for?” He asks, rhetorically, with half of a grin.

******

She’s supposed to meet Pete at Molly’s before heading to his place, but when he walks through the door she knows immediately their date won't be happening tonight. He meets her at the bar and drops onto the stool next to hers. He leans over the bar, putting his head in his hands, and running a hand through his hair. Her hands immediately seek him out, sensing something is wrong. She places one of her hands on his back and the other on his forearm. 

“Pete?” She asks in concern. “Everything okay?”

He sits up and shakes his head. “Rough day.”

She runs her hand up and down his back, between his shoulder blades, and then wraps her other hand around his. “What happened?”

“I had a call with a kid at a high school. Barely 16. He nearly drowned but he was revived on the scene. I thought we were all good until we were about three minutes out from Med and then…”

“Then?” She asks with a furrowed brow.

“Pulmonary Edema,” he answers. It’s two simple and effective words. She knows exactly what happened and what he must have seen without him having to elaborate.

“I’m so sorry. That’s awful. Those poor parents.”

“Yeah, it was just his dad, actually, and he blames me,” Mills tells her with a shake of his head. “I’ve got a squad car following me around because of it.”

She knows she looks as confused as she feels. “A squad car? For an angry grieving parent?”

“It’s not just any angry parent,” he says with a heavy sigh. “It’s Anthony Lullo.”

Her eyes widen. She may be new to Chicago, but even _she_ knows that name. “As in Papa Lullo? The Mafia guy? Oh my god, Mills!”

“It’s fine. _I’m fine_ ,” he says as he squeezes her hand in an attempt to comfort her. 

“No, you’re not! If PD put a car on you then he--Oh God, did he threaten you?”

“He’s just angry and grieving, like you said. It’ll all blow over when he calms down.”

She bites her bottom lip and holds back her disagreement. That’s not what Mills needs right now. He needs support and understanding. So she sucks in a breath and nods emphatically.

“You’re right,” she replies. “I’m sure you’re right.”

“Listen,” he says as he angles himself to face her. “I know we had big plans for tonight, but do you mind if I take a rain check?”

“Of course I don’t mind. I totally get it. We can reschedule for a better night. It’s fine.”

“Thank you,” he says as he closes the distance between them and places a soft but short kiss to her lips. “I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”

“Don’t worry about it. Really. Just focus on you and the Lullo problem right now. I’m not going anywhere,” she promises. 

******

Matt and Kelly are at home watching the Blackhawks while Shay blends frozen margaritas in the kitchen. Her phone rings and blares over the sound of the blender. It’s a relief when the blender stops. Finally, they can actually _hear_ the game.

He tunes out Leslie’s conversation and barely registers her taking the pitcher of margaritas to her room. It’s not until a couple of hours later when she emerges from her bedroom with her suitcase in hand that he begins to understand what’s happening.

“I need a ride to the airport,” Shay says as she shoots Kelly a pointed glare.

“What?” Matt asks in confusion. “Where are you going?”

“I put in for furlough to visit my family. Connie just called to tell me it was approved. I won’t be able to see them around Christmas so I told them I’d try and visit now. Chief’s bringing in a relief from another house,” Shay informs him. “You seriously didn’t hear any of that phone conversation?”

He blinks at her and then points to the television. “The game was on.”

Severide laughs and hops up from the couch. “Okay, we’re leaving before she punches you.”

He grabs his keys and they both breeze out the door. 

******

When they walk into shift the next day, the first thing he sees is Brett and Mills leaning against the back of the Ambo. 

“Mills!” Severide yells as he slaps the younger man’s back. “What the hell are you doing here, man?”

“Filling in for Shay,” he answers, trading a secretive look with Brett. “I’m excited to be back at 51 even if it’s only for a little while.”

Matt resists the urge to wince. Even the most in love couple would have a hard time with an entire 24 hours together in the same rig. Especially considering how small that ambo cab appears to be. Although, he doesn’t really know how serious Brett and Mills are since he hasn’t asked Sylvie about it. He’s not sure he wants to know. As long as she’s happy, what does he care, really? And judging by the grin she keeps pointing at Mills, she’s very happy. 

“Good to see you, Mills,” Casey greets as he shakes his hand. 

“You too, Lieutenant.”

Casey chuckles at him. “You don’t work for me anymore, Mills. Drop the Lieutenant.” He gives Sylvie a small smile as he continues past. “Morning, Brett.”

“Morning, Casey,” she repeats. 

Severide nods at Brett and then follows after Matt. When he addresses Casey again, his voice is low as if he doesn’t want anyone else to hear. “I wonder if Mills ever got that Lullo thing sorted out.”

“What?” Casey says, freezing mid-stride. “What Lullo thing? Papa Lullo?”

“You didn’t hear?” Severide asks in surprise. “Lullo’s son died while Mills and his partner at 105 were transporting him to Med and at the end of last shift he showed up at Austin and threatened Pete. Right outside the Firehouse in broad daylight.”

Matt narrows his eyes at Kelly, suspiciously. “And they’re letting him work? Shouldn’t he be on light duty and not partnered with _Brett_?”

“Relax,” Kelly replies as he pats Matt’s back. “I’m sure they wouldn’t let him work if Lullo was a serious threat.”

“Still,” Casey says as concern lingers in the back of his mind. “I think I’ll check with Chief just in case.”

Severide laughs and rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I wouldn’t have expected anything less from you.”

He drops off his things in his locker and then heads straight for Boden’s office. He knocks on the open door as he steps inside. Boden looks up expectantly.

“Casey, what can I do for you?” He asks.

“Do you know anything about Mills and this Lullo situation? Is it still going on?” 

“I’ve been briefed on the particulars, yes,” Boden answers as he stands and places his hands on his hips. “Mills seems to think it’s blown over. Lullo approached him and apologized this morning. That appears to be the end of it.”

“You’re sure?” Matt frowns. “Because if not, shouldn’t he be on light duty instead of partnered with Brett?”

Boden quirks a brow at him. “I would not have requested him as relief for Shay if I thought there was any danger to Brett. I sincerely hope that’s not what you’re suggesting.”

“No, sir, it’s not,” Casey answers dutifully, sensing he was rapidly approaching a line he shouldn’t cross.

“I didn’t think so,” Chief Boden replies. “Is there anything else you need?”

“No. I’m good.”

Boden nods briskly. “Good. Hang around for a few minutes. I needed to meet with you and Severide this morning. I’ll have Connie track him down.”

He waits impatiently as Severide is tracked down and brought to the office. It turns out the talk they need to have is about the fact that Donna may go into labor at any moment. Chief may be leaving shift suddenly. That brightens the mood in the office after he’d sufficiently destroyed it while grilling Boden about Lullo.

He sighs in resignation as he leaves the office. If Boden thinks it’s safe then it must be safe. He’s probably overreacting. It’s just the shock of hearing about Lullo for the very first time. That’s all it is.

That has to be all it is.


	17. So Fast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pete and Sylvie adjust to being partners and Matt goes out on the town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** This chapter is still set during 310. This may be my only update this weekend. I have some actual real life house work that I’ve been putting off to write this fic lol. I can’t put it off any longer.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy the chapter! Thank you to those of you who have left me encouragement in the comments lately! It means the world to me to know you trust the plan I have for this story and want me to continue it! 
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> angellwings

******

_“I probably wouldn't be this way,_

_I probably wouldn't hurt so bad,_

_I never pictured every minute without you in it,_

_Oh, you left so fast.”_

_-“Probably Wouldn’t Be This Way” by LeAnn Rimes_

******

“So, this is weird, huh?” Sylvie asks as she backs the ambo into the house. “You and me, partnered up for a couple of shifts?”

“A little,” Pete replies with a smirk. “But it’s just for two shifts. We can handle it. We did pretty well on that first call. That’s for sure.”

“We did! Didn’t we?” She asks as she holds out her fist for a bump.

He laughs and reciprocates. “Yeah, I can definitely tell that Leslie Shay is your partner based on the fist bump alone.”

“It is kind of her thing,” Sylvie agrees. “Oh, and that call! Can you believe that guy? Jumping out of the house without a single thought about reaching his wife? That was ridiculous.”

Mills shakes his head and scoffs. “I know I shouldn’t judge a civilian victim but in this case I can’t help it. When I was on Truck and Squad we had so many calls where one spouse sacrificed for the other. This was the first time I ever had a call where one spouse completely abandoned the other.”

“It was pretty messed up,” Sylvie agrees. “I can’t imagine leaving behind someone I love like that.”

They step out of the rig and meet at the back doors. Pete glances around anxiously but smirks when he doesn’t find anyone else. “Looks like Truck, Squad, and Engine are still out on overhaul.”

“Looks like it,” Sylvie replies, purposfully playing dumb.

“Which also means, we’re essentially alone,” Mills tells her with a slow sinful smirk. 

“No,” she replies with a quiet giggle. “Not in the house! I don’t care how alone you think we are, there’s always someone watching!”

“Oh, come on! The turn out room’s a good spot!” He teasingly protests. She can tell he already knows he won’t change her mind.

“If it isn’t Peter Mills. What are you doing in the wrong house?”

They both freeze at the new voice and turn to find Chaplain Orlovsky grinning knowingly at him. The Chaplain just caught them debating whether or not to make out in the turn out room. Great. Wonderful.

“Aren’t you at 105 now, young man?” He asks.

“I am, Chaplain,” Pete says as he shakes Orlovsky’s hand. “I’m just filling in for Shay.”

He nods and then turns to Brett. “Sweet Sylvie,” he says as he shakes her hand too. “You know that’s how I learned your name? I put a descriptor that starts with ‘s’ in front of it. I do that with everyone, but yours was the easiest. Never met anyone so gracious as you. Well, aside from Lieutenant Casey.”

Sylvie laughs brightly and feels her cheeks heat with a modest blush. “Thank you, Chaplain. That means so much coming from you. Can we help you with something?”

“Casey or Herrmann around?” He asks.

“Not yet. Last we heard they were finishing up overhaul,” Sylvie replies. “You’re welcome to hang around with us until they get back.”

“You know, Sylvie, I’ve been meaning to talk to you,” Orlovsky says with a warm smile. “I wanted to tell you how grateful I am that you were brought to this house. You’re just what they needed. Hope, light, and warmth. The good lord was looking out for them when you were assigned here.”

Emotional tears prickle at her lashes. They’re joyful and grateful but also...sad. The idea that this house needed hope, light, and warmth means they’d lost at least a little of that before. Imagining this family she’s come to love as hopeless and broken hurts her. On the opposite end of that, though, hearing someone outside the house tell her that she’s important to 51 means the world to her. 

She feels Mills smiling affectionately at her. He hasn’t known her that long, but he likely sees the unshed tears in her eyes very clearly. 

“I don’t know what to say to that, Chaplain,” Sylvie tells him honestly. “Thank you.”

“No,” he says with a shake of his head and a pat of her arm. “Thank you.”

Before any of them can say anything else, Truck 81 and Squad 3 pull into the house. They haven’t even come to a full stop when the doors are opening and both teams are greeting Orlovsky with jovial shouts of his name. Pete pulls her inside the house as Orlovsky talks to the guys about passing the boot for the Good Shepherd Soup Kitchen.

******

A half hour later, Cruz finds her to try out a new recipe for Molly’s II. It’s awkward at first, as she expected, but before long they fall into an easy rhythm. They’re friendly and pleasant to each other. Joe is, of course, nothing but kind to her. The man really is a big teddy bear. He is one of the sweetest men she’s ever met. If she wasn’t already attached to Mills, she could see how she might be persuaded to date him. Whoever he ends up with is going to be a very lucky girl. It just won’t be her.

They present their new creation to the house. It’s a delicious baked savory treat that’s essential Christmas dinner in a bun, and it’s a hit. Joe wants Molly’s II to premiere at a holiday food festival so they figure this item will be absolutely perfect for it. Thank goodness that everyone else seems to agree.

Mills helped her test the recipe on their last date and, after how eagerly it was accepted, she thanks him with a kiss to the cheek. It’s not until after that she realizes the entire house witnessed the exchange. She tries to shrug it off and will away the embarrassed flush of her cheeks. Joe catches on first and the hurt look on his face makes her want to cringe. Her impulsive show of affection may have just set them back to where they were at the start of shift.

She leaves the kitchen, looking for Stella, and finds her on her bunk with her laptop.

“Hey, Sunshine,” Stella says jokingly as she takes in Sylvie’s glum face. “What’s wrong?”

“Cruz asked me out and I said no because...well for a lot of reasons but mostly because I’m already seeing someone--”

Kidd’s face lights up with intrigue. “Oh! Your first date with the cute guy from the bar! What was his name? Mills, right? Did it go well?”

“Oh my god, Stella. It went _very_ well. We’ve had two official dates and we’re working on a third,” Sylvie explains with a small grin.

“Good for you, girl! After that mess with your ex, you deserve a nice guy.” Stella pauses and then narrows her eyes on her. “He IS a nice guy, right?”

“The nicest,” Brett assures her. “And my temporary Ambo partner for the week which is only a _tad_ awkward. He’s really been wonderful to me, but I just accidentally let Cruz find out so now I think he’s back to hating my guts.” She flops down on the cot next to Kidd’s and sighs. “I like Cruz. I do. I just don’t... _like_ like him. You know?”

“I know,” Stella says with an understanding nod. “As much as it sucks, I think you’re just gonna have to let it pass in it’s own time. Cruz seems like a great guy. He’ll bounce back eventually.”

“That’s why I feel so awful! He is a great guy! He’s just not the great guy for _me_.”

“You can’t make yourself feel something you don’t, Brett,” Stella assures her. “You were honest with him. That’s all anyone can ask of you. Cruz will understand eventually.”

“I hope you’re right,” Sylvie replies.

Stella scoffs and chuckles. “I’m always right. I’m insulted that you’re doubting me right now.”

She chuckles and sits up to face Stella again. “I apologize. I will never doubt you again.”

“That’s more like it. Apology accepted,” Kidd says with a smirk and a nod. 

******

Mills and Brett are everywhere Casey goes in this house. He’s fine with it, don’t get him wrong, but it’s more of a reminder that he’s all alone in the world. Up until now, he and Sylvie’s courses have run parallel. Both of them were single and starting over. As much as he hates to admit it, he’d come to rely on that fact for a bit of comfort. He should have realized that wasn’t going to last. Eventually, Sylvie would start dating and she would have to make time for someone besides her firehouse family. He needed to do the same. Maybe he wasn’t ready for a romantic relationship, but socializing would be good for him — according to Chaplain Orlovsky anyway. While drying out, he’d avoided going out to any bar that wasn’t Molly’s but it was time to start getting back into the world...at least a little.

Maybe this time, though, he’d take a buddy to keep him from getting too wasted.

He looks up to see Severide heading his way and grins. No better buddy for a night out than Kelly Severide.

“Sev,” he says as he gets his attention and they come to a stop in the hallway. “Plans after shift?”

“Uh, home, rest.”

“Nope, you and me. Good old-fashioned Chicago bar crawl.”

Kelly lifts a brow at him with a knowing grin. “You sure that’s a good idea? You’re barely dried out from the last month or so.”

“Okay, so...no bar crawl then. Just one drink and then we’ll go home.”

Kelly eyes him skeptically. “Come on.”

“I’m serious!”

“One drink?”

“That’s all I’m asking.”

“Alright, fine. One drink tonight and then we go home. Deal?”

Casey smirks at him and nods. “Absolutely. Deal.”

******

Matt wakes up on the couch at home with a headache. He’s still in his clothes from last night and he’s gotten extremely ripe while passed out in the living room. He smells like alcohol and cigarette smoke. He’s hungover, but it’s not the worst hangover he’s had lately. His stomach isn’t rebelling and the sound of the coffee maker doesn’t roar like a train engine. His headache isn’t even that bad.

As he sits up and looks around for his phone, the night before comes back to him with great clarity. 

He and Kelly met two girls at the bar. Severide went home with one. And Matt…

 _Almost_ went home with the other. 

What stopped him? Two things. One, the knowledge that he’d done the one night stand thing once already and all it did was make his life more complicated. And two…

His drunk brain forgot he was single. All night last night he kept thinking Gabby would be _pissed_ if he stayed out all night right before the Molly’s II opening, and she’d be _especially_ pissed if he spent that late night with another woman. 

It wasn’t until he started to leave the bar that he realized his mistake. That heartbreaking realization had him drinking a little more when he got home and passing out on the couch.

The lock on the front door clicks and it swings open revealing a much too cheerful Kelly Severide.

“Hey, there you are!” He says brightly. “I was wondering if you’d be here when I got home. You and that blonde chick really hit it off.”

Matt shakes his head as he stands from the couch and heads to the kitchen. “I’ve already tried the one night stand thing and it’s not for me.”

He’d rather not mention the other reason he couldn’t bring himself to leave the bar with — what was her name? Amy? No. Not Amy. _Ainsley_. He didn’t want to sound as fragile as he felt. Especially not to Kelly. 

Matt poured himself a cup of coffee and winced at the time on the coffeemaker clock. “I gotta get cleaned up and go. Today’s the Molly’s II opening. I told Herrmann and Brett I’d be there.”

“Herrmann _and_ Brett, huh?” Severide asks with a grin.

“What?” Matt replies in irritation.

“Nothing,” Kelly says, shaking his head. “Just that you and Brett seem to be actual friends now. I think it’s cool that you guys were able to get passed the way it all started. It kinda gives me hope. Maybe I can do the same with Stella.”

Now it’s Matt’s turn to grin. “Did things start awkwardly with you and Stella? I thought you said you didn’t hook up with her?”

“I didn’t!” He assures him. “But it wasn’t the _best_ beginning I’ve ever been a part of, and I do actually like her. I want to be friends, if we can.”

“Well, you could start with not walking out of the room every time she enters it,” Matt suggests with a quiet laugh. 

“Yeah, thanks, Captain Obvious,” Severide replies with a scoff. “Go get ready and get out of here. You’re annoying me.”

Matt smirks at Severide as he takes his coffee into his room to shower and change. Stella Kidd is under his best friend’s skin like no one ever has been before. He can’t wait to see how this all plays out.


	18. Troubles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Molly's II opens and Baby Boden arrives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** So, I found some time to finish a chapter today, which means I did end up updating again this weekend! Yay! 
> 
> This is the last chapter about 3x10! Next chapter begins 3x11! I hope you guys enjoy it! 
> 
> Happy reading!

******

_“If you're lonely,_

_And need a friend,_

_And troubles seem like,_

_They never end,_

_Just remember,_

_To keep the faith.”_

_-“Anytime You Need a Friend” by Mariah Carey_

******

The Molly’s II opening was a disaster. Herrmann seemed to think it confirmed his theory that either he or Molly’s was cursed. Sylvie felt bad for Cruz and Mouch and Newhouse. They’d put a lot of their own money into it and now it might all be a waste. 

She helped clean up the mess and then afterward decided to enjoy the festival. Casey got a handful of the unsold “Santa Bites” and brought them along with them as they walked through all the other booths. 

“These are really damn good,” he says as he finishes his second one. 

“Thank you,” Sylvie replies, laughing at his enthusiasm. 

“Why aren’t you on the kitchen duty schedule at the house?” He asks.

“Because...because Harrison expected me to have his dinner on the table every night precisely when he got home and it made cooking feel like a burden. I _like_ cooking, but I _only_ want to do it when I say,” she admits honestly. Casey essentially knows everything there is to know about her and Harrison. No reason to hold back now. “I never want to be at anyone’s beck and call ever again.”

He nods slowly, as if thinking deeply about her words. “I can understand that. If you ever want to cook for a crowd, you can cook for Severide, Shay, and I anytime you want. No expectations, no pressure.”

A soft smile forms on her face as she answers him. She really is touched by the offer. He’s leaving it up to her with an open ended offer. Cooking for three of her newest (and rapidly becoming _closest_ ) friends sounds much more appealing than cooking for the firehouse or just herself alone in her apartment. Cooking is more fun when it can be shared -- for her anyway.

“I would like that,” she replies. “I would like that a lot. We’ll have to pick a night when Shay gets back to town.”

“We will,” he promises. “How’s that going, by the way? You and Mills on 61 together?”

“Surprisingly well,” she answers. “I keep expecting some sort of awkwardness or blow up, but...we’re actually getting along great in close quarters.” Her excitement overflows from her voice into her body language. She feels the pep in her step and wonders how obvious it is to an outsider. “I think that bodes well for date number three. Whenever we manage to make that happen.”

She notices Matt glance at her in his peripherals and give her half of a grin. 

“What?” She asks when he keeps his thoughts to himself.

“Nothing,” he says with a shake of his head. “It’s just nice to see you so happy, is all. You deserve a nice guy like Mills.”

She blushes at his compliment and nods her head. “Thank you, Casey. I appreciate that.”

He shrugs as they keep walking. “I just call it like I see it, that’s all.”

Comfortable silence envelopes them as they blindly follow the crowds. They’re going nowhere in particular. They’re simply trying to enjoy a day away from the Firehouse. 

Sylvie gasps as a stretch of Christmas decor booths comes into view. Her eyes light up and she immediately grabs Matt’s arm to drag him along behind her. 

“I love handmade ornaments!” She exclaims. “Come on!”

The rest of the day goes much the same way. They explore the festivities and usually Sylvie yanks Matt along. He doesn’t seem to mind if his amused smirk and dry chuckle are any indication. It’s a pretty great day if she does say so herself. 

It’s one of the very best she’s had in recent years in spite of the Molly’s II fiasco, and a part of her can’t help but think Matt Casey plays just as much a role in that as the festival. He’s become a wonderful friend and confidant, and given her recent fresh start she appreciates that more than he likely knows.

******

When Matt shows up for shift the next day he passes Sylvie as she’s climbing in the back of the ambo. He stops and watches in amusement as she drops a stack of trashy magazines on the gurney and glances around the app floor nervously. 

She jumps when she spots Matt. “Jesus, why do people keep surprising me?”

He laughs and shakes his head. “Maybe you need to pay better attention to your surroundings. What are you doing?”

“Cruz is still being weird. He tried to give me some sort of lecture about Pete. I don’t know. I’m giving him space by hiding out in the rig,” she says with a tired sigh. “Are you headed in?”

He nods and adjusts the shoulder strap on his bag. 

“If you see Pete will you let him know where I am? I don’t want him wondering about me if a call comes in,” she requests.

“Yeah, of course.” He smirks and nods toward her magazines. “Enjoy your celebrity gossip.”

“Oh, believe me, I will,” she replies with a bright smile. “I’ve got enough trashy tabloids here to keep me occupied for the rest of shift, if I need it.”

He shakes his head again and chuckles at her. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Ridiculous but also _adorable_ ,” she amends with a finger pointed in his direction. “You know that’s true.”

Unfortunately, he does.

“No comment,” he replies with a teasing eye roll. “I’ll let your boyfriend know where to find you.”

“He’s not my boyfriend yet!” She yells frantically. “Don’t jinx me! Go knock on wood or throw salt over your shoulder or—or _something!_ ”

“Uh, no. I’m not doing any of that. That’s absurd.”

“Fine. If Pete breaks up with me today then I’m blaming you.”

He sighs in exasperation and makes a dramatic show of crossing the room to the Squad Table and knocking loudly. 

“There. You happy?” He calls across the floor to her.

“Extremely! Thank you!” She answers before yanking the back ambo doors shut and sequestering herself.

He grins in amusement for his entire walk to the bunkroom. Sylvie Brett is something else. He passes Mills as he walks toward the locker room. Mills has a small wrapped package in his hands. Matt stops him briefly to let him know where to find Sylvie.

“Thanks, Lieutenant,” he says as he hurries out of the room.

“Still not your lieutenant, Mills,” Matt calls after his retreating back. 

He changes, stows his stuff in his locker, and retreats to his quarters. He’s not there ten minutes before Severide knocks on his door. 

“Are Brett and Mills a thing?” He asks.

“That’s a question for Brett or Mills,” Matt answers.

“Because I thought she and Cruz were—“

“Definitely not. He asked. She said no. It’s awkward. Probably don’t bring it up around any of the involved parties,” Casey warns him. 

“Got it. Thanks for the heads up,” Severide replies with a nod. “So, are you...are you _good_? About Mills and Brett, I mean? Cause last time you thought she was seeing someone you were kinda…”

“I was kinda what?” Casey challenged.

“Jealous. You were kinda jealous.”

“That was a one time knee jerk reaction,” he states with a dismissive wave of his hand. “I’m over it. Mills is a great guy, and Sylvie’s a good friend. If he makes her happy then good for her. She deserves it. Especially after that Harrison asshole.” He pauses and shuffles his papers before thinking about his and Brett’s conversation the other day. Even now, it rankles him. “Did you know he _expected_ her to have dinner on the table when he got home every night? And I got the impression he was a whiny little shit if she didn’t deliver.”

“That figures. We all know he was a fucking dick to her,” Severide mutters angrily with an eyeroll. A crooked grin forms on his face and he chuckles. “Mills’ll be good for her then. Sounds like someone should cook for _her_ for once.”

The bells went off with a call for Ambo and he and Severide traded knowing looks. Ambo getting a call before the morning briefing did not bode well for the rest of the day. 

“Why do I get the feeling that it’s gonna be a _long_ day?” Severide asks him dryly.

Casey has no doubt that he’s right. He mentally prepares himself for a hellish day. Better to be prepared than surprised.

******

Amazingly, their calls were light. It’s the opposite of the foreboding feeling Casey had this morning. Squad is sent to check the building they were called to last shift. The City Building Department wants to condemn it but they want an opinion on it first. Cruz and Mouch busy themselves by trying to figure out what to do about Molly’s II while Herrmann goes around trying to raise money at the Chaplain’s request. 

Around two hours later, Squad returns. Kelly tells him he found evidence of Arson and had to call in OFI and CPD. They led both directly to the husband. After that Herrmann and Cruz approach him with the idea of donating Molly’s II to the Good Shepherd Soup Kitchen and given the lack of funds they raised Matt thought it was a fantastic idea. Truck 81 takes a ride to deliver their donation. It feels like a good gesture that is tailor made for the holidays.

As the truck pulls into 51, Matt can’t wait to tell Sylvie. She’ll love this story and it might even help her find a way to break the ice with Cruz. His disappointment is obvious when he turns from his truck to find Ambo 61 still hasn’t returned from their run that morning. 

It isn’t too abnormal for a call to take a while. Maybe they had to get gas or stock up on supplies. Or it’s entirely possible they went from one call directly to another. Maybe he missed out on some radio chatter somewhere.

“Anyone heard from Mills and Brett?” He asks his guys.

A chorus of ‘no’s went around his Truck crew. Stella even checked her phone on the off chance she’d gotten a text. He did the same. Neither of them have heard from Brett. He heads inside to check with Kelly and Squad. Maybe they came back and then had to turn around and leave again. But no, he’d gotten a negative on that thought too. 

He’s about to call Main to ask them to track 61 when Boden suddenly shouts for help from the bullpen.

They all come running. Donna’s going into labor. The paramedics and their Ambo are out, but Stella has EMT training. They carry Donna to the Squad truck and Stella hops in with them. They take off for the hospital immediately, leaving Casey in charge of the house while Boden is gone. He tries to keep up with the action over the radio and through texts from different members of Squad.

By the time he gets an update that Baby Boden was delivered en route, it’s been nearly five hours since Ambo left for their call. There’s been nothing over the radio from them since. Even in extraordinary circumstances that’s far too long.

The worry he’d been trying to hold at bay for the last hour or so is growing too large to hold back. He’s tried to distract himself but his brain keeps circling back. The quiet just feels _wrong_. He sets aside his fresh cup of coffee and calls The Alarm Office. As he gets the latest information from them, he can feel his guys crowding around him. They’re worried too. He’s not alone.

The minute he’s told they’re supposedly still on scene at 815 South Nebraska his gut sinks. There’s no way they’ve been on scene for five hours. The Alarm Office’s computers have been down for most of the day and they haven’t been able to check on 61’s status. Well, if they aren’t able to then _he_ will. 

“Truck 81, load up,” Matt says as he pockets his phone and leads them all to the apparatus floor. “We’re going for a ride.”

“They’ve been gone a long time, Lieutenant,” Cruz says worriedly as they jog toward their truck.

“I know,” Matt says gruffly. He doesn’t need the reminder. Anxiety is already eating at him as it is. He should have called to check on them sooner. How had he let himself get so distracted?

They arrive on the scene within a few minutes to find 61, with its lights on and doors open, but no Brett or Mills. There’s even a patient on a gurney, passed out, and looking as if they were about to load him into the rig. He sends out a call over the radio first for Mills and then for Brett. He tries not to sound frantic as he asks for them a second time, but he knows he fails. 

“Shit,” he curses when he’s met with silence yet again. He turns to Mouch with a heated glare. “Call Trudy, see if she can get Intelligence out here as soon as possible.”

Cruz and Otis give him a look of alarm. 

“You don’t think…” Otis starts to ask. He seems to be in disbelief that he’s having to ask because he has to try a second time. “You don’t think they’ve been _taken_ do you?”

“Neither one of them would leave the rig or a patient unattended,” Herrmann says confidently as he watches Mouch call Trudy out of the corner of his eye. “What other explanation is there?”

“It’s gotta be Lullo,” Cruz sneers. “I knew Mills was gonna get her into trouble. She should have listened to me.”

“Hey,” Matt says loudly, turning his glare on Cruz. “Now is not the time. Cruz, check the patient. Herrmann, Otis, take a walk to the end of the alley. Make sure they’re not just out of sight.”

They all nod and do as they’re told while Matt tries to listen in on Mouch’s conversation. The minute he hears Mouch confirm that CPD and a member of Intelligence is on their way he marches back toward the Truck. Once he’s out of sight of his crew he throws his halligan against the ground as hard as he possibly can. 

If Cruz is right and it is Lullo, there’s no goddamn telling what’s happened to them. _Fuck_ , 51 cannot suffer another loss like this. _He can’t_ suffer another loss like this. Not after Darden, Hallie, and Gabby. He’d just started to accept that maybe Brett was someone who might stick around for a while. He will not let that morning be the last time he’ll ever see Mills or Brett alive. 

“You okay, Lieutenant?” Mouch asks worriedly from behind him.

Casey turns, jerks his halligan up from the ground, and grits his teeth. “I’m fine. Nobody touches anything, and we need to keep everyone except for CPD out of the alley. That’s an order.”

“We’re already on it,” he assures him. “Trudy said Halstead is on his way.”

He better be. They’re gonna need all the help they can get from people they trust. He pulls out his phone and dials Mills. No answer. Next he tries Brett. He presses her contact on his screen so hard that he’s afraid he might crack the glass.

“Come on, Sylvie,” he mutters desperately. “Pick up the phone.”

Voicemail. 

“Fuck,” he exclaims.

His first instinct that morning was right. It was going to be a hell of a day, but no amount of mental preparation could have saved him. He never once considered losing both his paramedics to be a possibility. 

He should have known better. Somehow, someway, he should have seen this coming.


	19. Where Are You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 51 searches for Brett and Mills.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** Heads up, I do not write Brett’s POV here. Not enough changed from her and Mills perspective to write about it without it feeling redundant. Just imagine the protectiveness from both of them heightened slightly and everything else is basically the same. Most of the differences are in Matt and Kelly’s friendships with Brett so that’s where my version stays. 
> 
> Anyway, happy reading! Hope you like it!
> 
> angellwings

******

_“Where are you?_

_I need you,_

_Don't leave me here on my own._

_Speak to me,_

_Be near me,_

_I can't survive unless I know you're with me.”_

_-”Haunted” by Kelly Clarkson_

******

The first thing Matt does once he’s certain Brett and Mills have been taken is call Kelly. Severide then, in turn, tells him about the danger Baby Boden is in. Together they decide taking the house out of service is best, but that Boden should under no circumstances be brought in on Brett and Mills kidnapping. He has enough to worry about. 

Matt stays with Halstead and leaves Herrmann in charge of Truck. He sends them all back to the house to meet up with Severide and get the latest information on Baby Boden. 

Meanwhile, Matt loses his mind in Halstead’s passenger seat as they drive away from the scene. They identified a black towncar taking Mills and Brett away from the ambo so now they’re following the path it took -- hoping for any sign of them anywhere.

“Jesus, I should have checked on them hours ago,” Matt says with a shake of his head. “They were gone too long and I knew they were gone too long--”

“Hey,” Jay says giving Matt a sideways sympathetic glance. “Don’t beat yourself up about it. We both know how crazy any given day can be with our jobs. It wouldn’t be unusual for them to be gone for a few hours, would it?”

“Two to three hours possibly, but five? Without checking in? That’s the very definition of unusual.”

“From what I’ve heard about Boden and the baby it sounds like you had a reason to be distracted--whoa,” Jay says as he suddenly slows the car and points to a hole in a junkyard fence. “What’s this?”

He pulls the car to a stop and they both get out while sharing apprehensive glances. The second they walk through the fence the black towncar comes into view, but his stomach plummets to his feet. It’s been crashed into a flatbed truck with the top of it basically chopped off at the windows -- like a twisted up convertible. 

“Christ,” he curses as he does his best to stay behind Jay while they approach the vehicle. 

If there’s any sort of powers-that-be controlling the universe then he hopes they’ve decided to be kind to Firehouse 51 today. Please do not let Brett or Mills be inside that car. An accident like that could be deadly. Once Jay gives the all clear, Matt carefully approaches the driver’s side and yanks open the door. 

He’s both relieved and panicked all at once. No one is in the car.

The flip side of that is that no one is hanging around the crash site either which means whoever grabbed Brett and Mills still has them. They’re not dead and that’s the only comfort he can take from what they uncovered. 

“Let me get my guys here,” he suggests. “We’ll get this pulled out of here so we can get a better look at it.”

Jay nods. “Make it quick.”

Matt calls 51. He sends Herrmann to the hospital with Boden and then requests Truck and Squad on scene. The guys are there faster than Casey imagined. When they tow the car out, Severide finds blood. One of them is hurt. It’s on the driver’s side so hopefully it belongs to one of the thugs who took them and not either of their paramedics. 

When Jay sees that, he thinks maybe they haven’t gotten too far from the crash. They’re instructed to create a perimeter and search the area. 

“If Lullo has them,” Matt says quietly as he searches beside Severide. “Then he’s had them too long. Sev, what if they’re--”

He shakes his head adamantly. “No. Hell no. That’s not happening, Casey.”

Casey scoffs dryly as his bitterness outweighs his fear. “How can you be so sure? We don’t exactly have the best goddamn luck.”

“I’m sure _because_ our luck’s been rotten lately,” Severide tells him. “We’ve had too much bad shit go down. There’s no way the Universe deals us another blow so soon after--there’s just no fucking way, man. I’m telling you.”

Suddenly, their radios crackle to life with the sound of Stella’s voice.

“Casey, we’ve got something.”

Relief looms over him but he refuses to let it grab him just yet. “On our way,” he replies.

They split up. Severide goes back to the Squad truck in case they need any of their tools for a rescue, and Matt goes to meet Kidd and Otis. Turns out, Brett left them a trail of alcohol prep pads to follow -- the perfect first responder version of breadcrumbs. Once again proving that Brett is fucking brilliant and reminding him how lucky they are she ended up at 51.

They reach a rusted metal door and Jay asks them to back up. He presses his ear against it and then reaches for the handle, but the door doesn’t budge. He turns to Casey urgently.

“They’re inside. The door’s bolted! Can you get us in?”

He nods and yells into his radio. “Severide, where are you guys?”

“On our way,” he answers.

Muffled yelling can be heard from inside the building and Matt immediately recognizes Sylvie’s voice. Barely a minute later, shots ring out. He counts each and every one of them and tries not to think about what they might mean or who might be hurt. After what feels like hours, but can only be seconds, Squad arrives. He and Severide attack the door with a halligan and axe, getting through the door in record time. Their motivation has never been greater. 

They back away to let Jay and the other officers in first, but 51 isn’t far behind them. 

“Mills! Brett!” Casey yells as the two goons that took them are apprehended. The one goon was breaking down a door as they entered and Matt assumes that’s where his paramedics are hiding. 

“Yeah, we’re here!” Mills calls as he leads Sylvie from the room. 

He’s got her tucked pretty securely against him so Matt can’t tell if either of them are injured. “Anyone hurt?”

“No, we’re okay,” he replies. 

Not that he doesn’t trust Mills but he’d rather hear that from Sylvie. He glances from him to her and takes in the cut on her head and the blood covering her hands. She meets his eyes with a nod and a thick swallow. 

“I’m okay,” she repeats. “We’re both okay.”

The sigh of relief he releases lifts a huge weight off of not only his shoulders but his heart too. He could not have taken another blow. Not now. None of them could have.

Severide marches up to Sylvie and immediately envelopes her in a secure hug. 

“Because Shay’s not here to do this herself,” Kelly says as he continues to hold her.

Sylvie lets out a teary laugh and embraces him just as tightly. “You can just admit you want a hug. It won’t ruin your macho image. I promise.”

“Jesus, you scared us,” Severide tells her as he releases her and leads her out of the building.

Matt maintains his distance out of fear of what he’ll do or say. He’s protective and hot headed by nature and he and Sylvie have gotten pretty close. He’s afraid he might tear Mills a new one even if he logically knows this situation isn’t his fault or, worse, he’s afraid he’ll glue himself to Sylvie’s side and refuse to leave her for the next few days. He needs a minute to get himself together. He helps PD clear the building before heading outside.

When he finally makes it out of the building Sylvie is sitting on the back bumper of an ambo while a paramedic cleans her cut and examines her for any additional damage. He approaches slowly and as he does he hears her let out a pained hiss. His entire body tenses at the sound. He cranes his neck to get a look and finds the paramedic bandaging a slice across the palm of her hand. 

“You sure you’re okay?” He asks once he’s certain she’s seen him. The last thing he wants is to scare her after all she’s been through today.

She nods at first but then bites her bottom lip for a silent beat. Once that moment is over, she changes her answer with a wide shake of her head. “No.”

They both let her answer hang between them until the paramedic is done wrapping her hand in gauze. Sylvie declines the trip to Med and stands from the back bumper. She grabs the edge of his turnout coat sleeve with her unbandaged hand and pulls him away from the Ambo for a bit of privacy. 

“I really...God, Matt, I really thought we were dead. I--” she cuts off her own sentence as more tears start to fall and Matt’s had enough of keeping his distance.

He pulls her into his chest -- as much for his sake as hers -- and holds her snuggly against him. They stay that way for a minute or two and simply listen to each other breathe. When they’re satisfied with their proof of life, they back away and smile shyly at each other. It’s a moment of shared relief. Sylvie’s not done dealing with the events of the day, but at least now she seems more certain it’s officially over. 

Jay walks up to them and smiles weakly at Sylvie.

“I just talked to Mills,” he tells her. “I told him you guys should feel free to go back to the Firehouse. Shower, change, do whatever you need to do to feel refreshed and focused. Once you’ve done that, come to the district. We’ll get your statements and get you to identify these jackasses properly, okay?”

She nods. “Okay. We’ll be there.”

“Glad you’re safe,” Jay assures her before nodding in recognition at Matt and walking away.

“Come on,” Matt says as he points over her shoulder to Truck 81. “We’ll take you home with us.”

******

He also ends up being her ride to the district. She takes her time cleaning up and changing clothes but when she emerges from the locker room, her hands are shaking and it’s obvious she’s not fit to drive herself. Mills bolted out of the house as soon as he was done getting ready. He couldn’t look at Brett as he walked past her nor could she look at him. Matt’s brow furrows in concern, but he doesn’t say anything.

Not until the same thing happens as they’re leaving the district. Mills asks her if she’s okay and Brett brushes him off with a quiet, “I’m fine.”

But she doesn’t look at him for any longer than it takes to say those words and Mills doesn’t hang around to clarify. He walks down the street to his car without another word. Casey narrows his eyes on Sylvie as she opens the passenger side door on his truck and climbs in.

He walks around and waits until he’s seated with his door closed to ask her about it.

“Everything okay with you and Mills?”

Instead of answering him, she changes the subject.

“During the helicopter crash, I rescued this sketchy guy,” she tells him. 

He remembers the crash and he remembers worrying about her when Shay left her alone. Turns out that worry wasn’t unjustified. She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a business card. She hands it to him with a significant glance. The card doesn’t say much. It has a first name, a phone number, and a slogan on it. The lack of information plus her description of the guy as ‘sketchy’ clues him in on who or what this guy might be.

“He was very clearly a criminal,” Sylvie clarifies, just in case he hadn’t put that together already. “I want to call him and see if he can help bring down Lullo.”

After the danger she was in today he really on has one knee jerk response. “No, Brett. Hell, no. You don’t know what this guy does or even if he can help.”

“Then I’ll call him and ask,” she declares, holding her hand out expectantly. “Can I borrow your phone? Mine’s on the side of the road somewhere -- probably shattered to pieces.”

“What did Halstead say?” Matt asks. “Maybe they just need a little more time to--”

“The guys that took us aren’t talking, Casey. Lullo’s gonna walk away. He almost killed Mills this time. Do you think he’s gonna take a chance with _almost_ next time? The cops can’t do anything, but maybe this Gus guy can,” Sylvie states with a steely edge to her voice. She gets louder and more urgent as she continues. His heart clenches and cracks every time she increases her volume. “I had a gun to my head for five hours. Five. Hours. Just...just waiting to die! I cannot let Lullo get away with that! Now, can I borrow your phone or not?”

He sighs tiredly, nods, and then hands over his phone. “Fine, but whatever meeting you set...I’m coming with you. You’re not seeing this guy alone. Deal?”

She releases an anxious breath and takes the phone from him with a nod. “Deal. Thank you, Matt. Really just... _thank you_.”


	20. Foundation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brett and Casey meet with Gus and Stella and Sylvie have a girls' night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** Writing this story is very interesting because it is very much a free flowing story with no format at all. I finished writing a really short future chapter tonight so now I get to post one. No chapter is the same length because I’m writing according to the vibe I want the chapter to have as a whole. I’ve never really done that before. I typically have a word count goal and once I hit that I wrap up the chapter. So this is new for me.
> 
> Anyway, all of that to say, I hope you guys don’t mind that these chapters aren’t going to be very uniform, lol. It also means that I have no idea how long this story will be. But considering we’re on chapter 20 and this still feels like the beginning of the story to me...I feel like it’s gonna be VERY long. Which makes sense considering there’s 8 seasons of the show in existence and I’m only rewriting S3 right now. 
> 
> Yikes, I took on a daunting task, lmao. It’ll all be worth it in the end, though. I’m sure.
> 
> Anyway, hope you guys enjoy! Happy reading!
> 
> angellwings

******

_“Who doesn't know what I'm talking about?_

_Who's never left home, who's never struck out,_

_To find a dream and a life of their own,_

_A place in the clouds, a foundation of stone?”_

_-”Wide Open Spaces” by Dixie Chicks_

******

She was glad Matt volunteered to go with her to meet Gus. She didn’t want to go alone but she didn’t want to tell Pete her plan either. He probably already thought the worst of her. What kind of first responder suggests killing a patient? There’s no way in hell she can ever look him in the eye again. She’d rather pretend they could still be friends. She doubts someone as truly good as Peter Mills would want to keep seeing her after that. 

The meeting goes well even if she has no idea what she’s doing or what kind of criminal Gus actually is.

Gus says she’ll be hearing from him soon and then they part ways. She rides with Matt to the hospital to visit Donna and Chief while they wait for word on little Terrence.

Only two people are allowed in Donna’s room at a time so they spend most of the afternoon camped out in the waiting room with a continual rotation of other people from 51. Severide joins her and Matt after they’ve hung around for a couple of hours and sits in the empty chair next to her. She’s sandwiched between both Lieutenants and she can feel them alternating between staring at her and staring at each other.

Finally, Matt speaks.

“So, listen, we know you’re beyond capable of looking out for yourself but considering what happened today we thought you might not want to be alone,” Matt begins.

Severide nods and takes over. “So, you’re welcome to come to our place for the night if you want. I just got off the phone with Shay and she says you’re welcome to her room. She’ll be calling you in an hour or so, by the way.”

She smiles warmly at both of them but shakes her head. “You’re very sweet to offer but I shouldn’t. Stella’s coming over to stay the night and to help me finish packing. I’ll be fine.”

Matt’s brow furrows. “Packing? Where are you going?”

Her eyes widen as she realizes she never told them. Once she found the new apartment she had to act fast. “Oh! With everything that’s been going on I forgot to tell you! I found a new place! It’s smaller and the interior isn’t as nice _but_ it’s in Wicker Park! I have movers coming tomorrow morning so I need to have everything packed and ready. I told Shay about it but with her going out of town I guess it got lost in translation.”

“Thank God,” Kelly says loudly. A few people in the waiting room turn to glare at him but he doesn’t notice. “About damn time.”

“We’re helping,” Matt declares decisively. “What time are the movers coming?”

“No, no, no!” She protests. “I’m not telling you to ask for help! I’ve got it under control. You don’t have to—“

“He’s right,” Severide agrees. Ignoring her completely. “We’re helping. If you don’t tell us the time then we’ll get it out of Stella somehow.”

Sylvie snorts derisively and motions from Kelly to Stella. “Be my guest, Severide. Getting the information from Stella would mean you would have to talk to her and since you need practice at that...I’m not telling. You can go ask her.”

Matt laughs softly and smirks at him. “You walked right into that, man.”

They look across the room at Stella just in time to see her check her phone and heave a sigh. There’s a crease between her eyebrows and an angry frown on her face. She stands from her chair and storms out of the room. 

“Uh,” Kelly stammers with a shake of his head. “Seems like a bad time. Maybe later.”

Sylvie feels her lips purse and her eyes narrow as she watches Stella worriedly. “I wonder what that’s about?”

“Nothing good,” Severide guesses.

Sylvie makes a mental note to ask Kidd about it at her apartment later. 

“Do you think you’ll need help packing tonight?” Matt asks her.

“No,” she replies. “I only have a few more boxes to pack of dishes and things. Unpacking tomorrow will be more of a job. So, if you truly want to help then I’ll text you my new address and let you know once they movers are done.”

Severide nods even though his gaze is still following Stella. “We’re serious. We want to help.”

When Stella comes back, Sylvie decides to call it a night. She tells Matt she’ll ride with Stella and he should stay. 

“Keep me up to date on Baby Boden, okay?” She asks.

He nods. “I will.”

On the ride to her apartment, Shay calls. Sylvie spends most of the ride on the phone with her partner assuring her that she’s okay. Stella’s frustration and temper is simmering under the surface the entire time. Sylvie can tell none of it is directed at her or Shay but it’s still distracting. By the time she finishes the phone call they are inside of her apartment with the door locked behind them.

“Thanks for coming to help, Stella,” Sylvie says as she leads her back to her kitchen. “And for staying the night. I can’t imagine being alone tonight. I don’t think I’d sleep a wink.”

“Of course,” Stella tells her dismissively. “There’s no way I’d let you be alone tonight. Not after what you went through today.”

Sylvie pauses in front of her fridge and gives Stella a grateful glance. “I’m so glad you came to 51. Really, I’ve enjoyed getting to know you.” She opens the door and points to a stash of bottles in her door. “Wine?”

“God yes,” Stella replies emphatically. “Do you have any red?”

“Girl, I have got every kind imaginable. Trust me,” Sylvie says with a chuckle. 

“I’ve been enjoying getting to know you too, Sylvie,” Stella repeats. “Just FYI.”

Sylvie beams at her as she pulls down two glasses and pours generously. “Happy to hear it. Is everything okay? You seem a bit stressed.”

“I am stressed,” she confesses. “I’ve been facing some hard truths about my marriage lately, and trying to talk to Grant about it but it’s like trying to have a conversation with a brick wall. He won’t listen.”

Sylvie hands her a glass and nods thoughtfully. “And, of course, if he won’t listen then nothing ever changes.”

“Exactly. I swear sometimes I feel more like his mother than his wife and he is too damn grown to expect someone to take care of him the way he expects me to. I mean, I feel like all the responsibility is on my shoulders and isn’t the point of marriage to _share_ that responsibility?” 

It’s a rhetorical question. Sylvie can tell she’s not expecting an answer.

“And _then_ he gets so pissy if I ever miss a single event with _his friends_ yet he never shows up to anything that has to do with _my friends_. On top of all of that, the things he accuses me of--I have never once cheated on him yet every time we get in a fight he accuses me of running around on him all the time. And I just...God, I’m sorry to unload all of this on you, but I just can’t do it anymore,” Stella says before taking a big gulp of her wine and leaning against Sylvie’s kitchen counter. “Every day shouldn’t be such a struggle and I shouldn’t have to give up so much just to keep him. The friends I had before we got married are basically all gone at this point. I’ve chosen him over them every time until I’ve pushed everyone away. My entire life outside of 51 is centered around his and I’m _tired_.”

Sylvie steps closer as Stella talks until she’s close enough to pull her in for a hug. 

“Don’t apologize for confiding in me, Stella. I want you to feel comfortable talking to me!” Sylvie assures her. “And of course you're tired! Anyone would be in that situation. I mean, trust me, I’ve been there. You--you saw Harrison. He wasn’t exactly the best choice I ever made.”

Stella returns her hug and rests her head on Sylvie’s shoulder. “Ugh, this is nice. Being the one receiving the hug instead of giving it is a rare treat for me.”

“Well, that won’t do,” Brett tells her. “Let me know when you need a hug and I’m there.”

“Thanks,” Stella replies with a quiet chuckle. 

They pull apart and Stella idly swirls the wine in her glass for a quiet beat.

“I’ve been looking at apartment listings,” she confesses. “But I’ve known Grant since I was basically a kid and he’s been there for me every day since. How can I--Does leaving him make me a horrible disloyal bitch? He was there for me when I had no one else and a part of me thinks leaving him would be abandoning him when _he_ has no one else.”

Sylvie shakes her head adamantly. “No way, Stella. It sounds like you’ve tried to talk to him and he hasn’t even bothered to attempt to listen. I don’t know Grant or all the details about your relationship, but I can tell you that I knew Harrison for most of my life. We grew up together. You would think that would mean I knew him better than most but it didn’t. It actually meant I was too close to him to see him clearly. It wasn’t until I came here and got a bit of distance that I saw him for who he truly was and saw all the ways he twisted me up. Staying is only hurting _you_ and you can’t keep hurting yourself to repay him for something that happened _years_ ago. You’re not the same kid you were then. You’ve grown. But maybe he hasn’t. Maybe a separation will be good for both of you.” She pauses and reaches out to squeeze Stella’s shoulder. “You have to do what’s right for _you_. Even when it seems terrifying and difficult.”

Stella nods with a pensive expression. “That makes sense,” she says. “I get that.”

“Sleep on it,” Sylvie urges her. “In the meantime, let’s get wine drunk and pack up my kitchen. I have color coded storage bins and a new label maker ready to go!”

“Last time I packed while drunk I ended up drawing some pretty explicit penises on my friend’s boxes in Sharpie. Are you _sure_ you want to drink wine while we pack?” Stella asks with a wicked grin.

“Hell, yes,” Sylvie tells her through a laugh. “Especially if it results in drunken penis art. That sounds _hilarious_.”

******

Sylvie calls about ten the next morning which turns out to be perfect. He’s had some time to sleep in and it gave Severide time to pick up Shay from the airport. She booked a flight home as soon as she heard about Brett and Mills and Baby Boden. 

They meet him at Brett’s new place. It’s a vast improvement. While it won’t be photographed for any magazines anytime soon, it certainly looks fifty times more secure than her place in Pilsen. He’s not exaggerating when he says himself, Shay, and Severide all simultaneously breathed a sigh of relief on sight. 

As soon as the door opens, Shay rushes Brett with a tight hug.

“Partner, I am never taking another furlough ever again! Not unless you come with me so I can keep a fucking eye on you,” Shay exclaims. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” Sylvie promises, returning Shay’s embrace. “Or I will be anyway. Eventually.” She looks to Matt and Shay reluctantly releases her. “Any update on Baby Terrence?”

“Not yet,” Matt answers. “Last I heard they’re still weaning him off the machine, trying to see if he can handle it on his own.”

“Poor kid’s already been through more than most people and he’s not even a week old,” Shay says with a worried sigh. 

“He’s a Boden,” Severide says with an encouraging smile. “He was born tough. He’ll make it.”

“Sev said Stella was with you,” Shay said, clearly wanting to focus on something else. “She still here?”

“No, she had to go,” Sylvie replies with a concerned expression. “I’m not sure what happened, but she got some sort of message on her phone and then bolted pretty quickly.”

“Good thing we showed up when we did then,” Matt tells her as he steps around the group to get a good look at the new apartment. “Where do you want to start?”

“I finished unpacking my bedroom and my bathroom already so that just leaves the living room and the kitchen.” She glances around the living room for a moment before turning to Casey. “Actually, I have some book shelves and things I need help putting together. You think you can help me with that, Mr. Matt Casey Construction?”

He chuckles and nods. “Piece of cake. Let me go get my tools.”

“We’ll start on the kitchen then,” Shay declares as she grabs Severide’s arm and drags him away. “Any particular way you want to organize it?”

“No,” Sylvie calls after them. “As long as it makes sense and you can show me what you did before you leave. Considering I’ve seen you organize the supplies on 61, I know I can trust you so have at it.”

They unpack until lunch. They order Thai food from a place nearby. Sylvie pays as a thank you for all their help. She makes a small speech before they eat and he grins fondly at her the entire time. This is the first meal she’s had in her new place and she tells them it feels “inexplicably right” to share it with the three of them. The sentiment and her clear regard for them leaves him feeling honored by her friendship in a way he never has before.

After lunch the two of them get to work on the entertainment section of the living room, as Sylvie calls it. She calls it that because it houses her TV, her DVDs, her record player, and her sizable record collection. She’s attempting some DIY storage solutions to save herself from money and, to his surprise, his knack for construction comes in handy. 

He picks up one of the cheap wooden storage crates she bought and painted and gives her a curious glance. “What were you going to do with these?”

“Stack them I think. Just vertically -- here,” she says as she motions to the empty wall space next to the small table her record player occupies. “I thought maybe we could anchor them to the wall so they don’t topple over.”

His eyes narrow on the wall and he presses his lips together, envisioning her suggestion while picturing an idea of his own. He mentally compares the two. If she wants to stack them vertically he will, but he doesn’t think that’s the most visually appealing use of the space. 

“We could do that,” he says reluctantly. “Or I could hang them on the wall. With a little space between them. Like those floating shelves we put up by the door?”

Her eyes light up and he can tell she knows immediately what he means. She gasps and excitedly grabs his arm before agreeing. “Yes! Please do that. That is so much better than stacking them! Can you have them floating on either side of the table? Like two on the right and two on the left?”

“Make it symmetrical? Yeah, I can do that.” 

It’ll take up more space but sometimes style is slightly more important than function. Sylvie’s record collection seems to be more than just a collection. It’s a piece of her personality. It’s place in her apartment should represent that. At least he thinks so.

“Oh my God, you are totally my hero right now,” Sylvie exclaims with a beaming smile. “I’m so glad you insisted on butting into my business today.”

He laughs at her friendly ribbing and nods, smiling back at her just as brightly. “Me too.”

Honestly, he is. Despite the manual labor, it’s been fun. It’s been a long time since he’s felt as relaxed as he does right now. Last shift he felt insane and frantic and that carried over into that first day outside of the firehouse, but today feels different. Like a turning point or a new beginning. He’s still not sure what his future looks like beyond the job, but he feels comfortable in his own skin again. Considering how low he was just a few weeks ago, he’s considering that enough of a win for now.

Time will tell where he goes from here.


	21. Unanswered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gus calls Sylvie back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** Sorry it’s been so long since I posted! I’ve been trying to take more “me time”. I’ve been reading and spring cleaning and then I had some real life family things pop up, but I’m back now. I still may not be posting daily like I was before but hopefully I can manage once a week!
> 
> Hope you guys are still enjoying this! Happy reading!
> 
> angellwings
> 
> PS - katertots helped SO VERY MUCH with the Matt and Sylvie scene in the middle of this chapter! She elevated and smoothed it out for me in a way I never would have on my own. THANK YOU KATERTOTS. You are truly the BEST.

******

_“People like us, we've gotta stick together,_

_Keep your head up, nothing lasts forever,_

_Here's to the damned, to the lost and forgotten,_

_It's hard to get high when you're living on the bottom.”_

_-”People Like Us” by Kelly Clarkson_

******

Gus called. Matt’s phone rang while he was packing up his tools. They were finished with unpacking and had decided to head to Molly’s for a drink, but first Sylvie thought she’d better deal with this.

Matt handed her the phone with a knowing worried glance. She tried to give him a reassuring one in return but she’s not sure if she succeeded. 

“Your boy’s gonna get his meeting. Have him show up at the lock up. The lunkhead you operated on will see him in the jail infirmary first thing tomorrow morning.”

“I’ll let him know. Thanks.”

“We’re even now. Just so we’re clear.”

“We are.”

“If pretty boy messes this up or doesn’t show that’s not on me.”

“Agreed,” she replies. “We’re done.”

“Good.”

He doesn’t wait for her to acknowledge him or say goodbye. The line simply goes dead. She hands Matt back his phone.

“Do you think Mills will be at Molly’s tonight?” She asks him.

“Probably,” Casey answers. 

“I still haven’t gotten a new phone and I need to talk to him. And I’d rather talk in person,” she says before worrying her bottom lip.

“If he doesn’t show up by eight then I’ll call him for you,” Matt agrees. 

“Thank you, Casey,” she says as she places a hand on his arm and squeezes gently.

Once they get to Molly’s, Brett finds Kidd sitting alone in the back. She grabs Shay and they both make their way to her. 

“Hey,” Sylvie says as she sits in the chair across from her. “Everything okay?”

Stella shakes her head and then turns to Shay. “Hey! Glad you’re back! Everything good with your family?”

“Oh yeah, everybody’s great,” she tells her. “I’m a little more worried about you right now. What’s going on?”

She huffs and rolls her eyes. “What’s going on is that my husband blew all the money _I earned_ and that he _never_ contributes to on a fucking sound board for his new in-home recording booth. And then went _ballistic_ when I asked him to return it.” 

She drops her phone onto the table and slides it over to them with her text messages up and open. Brett’s eyes widen at the language and threats contained in those messages followed by a lengthy and supposedly remorseful apology. 

“We have no money to buy groceries or gas with now. Thank God I pay our bills pretty far in advance or else our power and water wouldn’t have been paid on time. What’s worse is that this isn’t the first time he’s done this and _I’m_ usually the one working my ass off to either get extensions or make extra money. _Not him_. I can’t do this anymore. I went to the bank and closed that account today. I opened a new one and I will _not_ be putting him on it. I haven’t told him that yet and I honestly don’t want to find out what he says when I do.”

Shay looks angrier and angrier as she scrolls back through Stella and Grant’s texts. “Stella. Holy shit. He talks to you like this all the time.”

“Not all the time,” she says defensively. “Just...when we fight. He’s harmless, really.”

Shay angled the screen toward Brett to let her see a particularly nasty message that contained a strong threat. “Oh hell, no,” Brett exclaims while glaring at the phone. “You’re coming home with me tonight. I’ve got an extra bedroom. You’re taking it — for however long you want.”

The door opens behind her and she hears Herrmann yell a name across the bar. Mills is here. Sylvie turns her head to look at him and finds him staring right back at her. She excuses herself from Shay and Kidd to talk to him. 

“Hey,” she says hesitantly. 

“Hi,” he replies, nervously clearing his throat.

“The guy you saved? Vic the goon?” She waits for Peter to nod before continuing. “He’ll see you first thing in the morning in the jail infirmary.”

He jerks back slightly with a surprised wide eyed stare. “Yeah, okay, I’ll be there. How...how the _hell_ did you manage that?”

“Really don’t worry about it,” she replies.

Awkward silence fills the space between them and Sylvie gulps nervously, looking anywhere but at him, as she finally speaks again.

“I should get back to my table. Stella’s having a crisis,” Sylvie explains lamely. 

“Oh,” he replies, sounding clearly disappointed. “Sure, yeah, I’ll call you tomorrow after I meet with Victor.”

“Okay, thanks. I’d appreciate that.”

She should stay and talk longer — make a real effort — but she _can’t_. After what she did she’s surprised he’s still acknowledging her at all. She asked him to let someone die. She’s a first responder! Her job is to save lives not end them. She doesn’t want to know if his opinion of her has changed. If they don’t talk then she never has to find out. 

“I’ll, um, see you later,” she mutters before quickly walking away from. 

She knew dating a nice guy was too good to be true. After what she almost did, there’s no way a man like Peter Mills would still want her.

******

There’s something off between Sylvie and Mills. Matt noticed it last night at Molly’s and the day before that outside of the district. He doesn’t know everything that happened while they were missing. He’s not sure he wants to know all the details, but whatever happened has made them both hesitant with each other and ashamed of themselves. He can see it.

They’re eight hours into the next shift. He’s in his quarters with the door open and Sylvie is sitting on her cot. She’s just gotten off the phone with the counselor Boden recommended. He overheard her making an appointment for tomorrow. He’s glad she isn’t fighting it like he did. Meeting with Orlovsky twice a week has done wonders for him. 

Her phone rings and she winces at the caller ID before pressing the decline button. He watches her chew on her bottom lip, looking anxious and guilty, until he just can’t take it anymore. 

He leaves his quarters and clears his throat as he reaches the foot of her bed. As he hoped, it alerts her to his presence and keeps her from being startled. She looks up at him and then down at her phone and releases a heavy sigh.

“How awful of a person am I for dodging Pete’s calls?” She asks him as a deep furrow forms between her brows.

“Dodging someone’s calls doesn’t make you awful, Sylvie. Though, it does beg the question... _why_ are you dodging his calls?”

“I don’t want to know if—or rather how—his opinion of me has changed. I did something awful while we were working on that Victor guy,” she admits softly. “Or wanted to anyway. And I would rather not know that I’ve lost him before we’ve even had a chance to get started.”

“I doubt you’ve lost Mills, Brett.”

Sylvie stares down at her lap. “You don’t know what I did, Casey.” Guilt hangs in the air around her.

“Then _tell me_.”

“No,” she says, shaking her head, voice pitching higher. “I already might’ve lost Mills because of it, I’m not going to risk that you’ll hate me, too.”

Matt frowns, brows drawn together. “I can promise you that won’t happen,” he assures her. “You’ve been there for me when I’ve hit some pretty spectacular lows. Let me be there for you, too.” He takes an anxious breath and tries again. “What happened?”

“We basically did surgery on the guy’s neck to try and slow the internal bleeding. At one point his carotid artery was exposed.” She glances around as though to ensure their privacy. “I—” she begins, lowering her voice. He sees water pooling in her eyes. “I told Mills to clamp it and let him die,” she finishes in a rush. “They weren’t going to let us go, and I thought that might be our only way out. But I was wrong. The thought never should have occurred to me. I’m a first responder! I’m supposed to save people’s lives. How could I forget that?”

“Mills obviously didn’t do it,” Casey says observantly.

“He held the clamp out to me and gave me the opportunity, but—I couldn’t do it either.”

“Then it sounds to me like you didn’t forget, Sylvie. You had the chance to kill that man but you didn’t,” he reminds her. “You chose not to. Which is amazing considering the fact that your life was in danger. Some people in your position wouldn’t have had any issue with letting that man die, but you did. Do you know how brave that is? Of course, you wanted to kill him. You wanted to live. But choosing the higher path even if it might have cost you your life? That’s badass, Brett. Mills knows that just like I do. I think you’re worrying over nothing.”

She looks up at Matt with tear-filled eyes and shakes her head. “What if you’re wrong?”

“If I’m wrong then Mills isn’t worth your time, but I don’t think I’m wrong,” Matt answers honestly. “Talk to him. Talk to him the way you just talked to me. He’ll understand.”

She nods thoughtfully and stares down at the phone in her hands. “I should call him back.”

He stands to leave and give her some privacy just as the bells go off. 

She groans and rolls her eyes. “Impeccable timing as always.”

******

It was a fire at a storage unit facility. Ambo didn’t end up being needed. Though, that seemed to be a miracle. Apparently, the unit that caught fire was a goldmine of elements required to commit arson. Once the fire was out, she and Shay packed up and headed back to the house so the guys could get to work on overhaul.

After they backed in, Sylvie could make out a lone figure waiting for them in her driver’s side mirror. She recognized the build and the stance, even from a distance.

Peter Mills.

It seems he didn’t plan to let her ignore him any longer.

Shay gives her an encouraging look and waves to Mills before she heads into the house, intentionally leaving them alone.

“I tried to call you to give you an update on Victor,” he says as they walk toward each other.

“I know. I’m sorry. I was about to call you back when we got a call,” she replies apologetically. “What happened?”

“He didn’t talk to me this morning, but after I left he rolled on Lullo. They arrested him a half hour ago,” Mills informs her. 

“Good,” Sylvie says as she releases a relieved breath. 

“How did you do it?” Mills asks. “How did you make it happen?”

“Me?” She asks in return. “All I did was get you in the door. The rest was all you, Peter Mills.”

He’s quiet for a long moment as his eyes scan every inch of her face. He steps closer and adjusts his radio. When he looks beyond her to the driveway, she looks with him and notices the rig from 105 and his partner waiting patiently. Why didn’t she notice that before?

“I get that this isn’t the time or the place,” Peter says, meeting her eyes. “But we need to talk. I want to make sure we’re okay, you and me.”

“We are,” Sylvie promises.

“You say that,” he replies with a worried expression. “But I’d still like to talk. I want to be _sure_ , Sylvie. Can I take you out for breakfast after shift?”

She shoves her hair out of her face, more out of nerves than necessity, and nods.

“I’ll pick you up here,” he declares. “We’ll go wherever you want.”

“Okay,” she answers softly. “We can do that.”

“Thank you,” he says with a grateful expression. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

He walks away toward his partner and his own ambulance. In the morning they’ll talk and she’ll know for sure whether or not Casey is right. She hopes he is, but she hasn’t had the best luck lately and she’s beginning to doubt. Plus, she really likes Mills and she would hate for things to end now before they find out where this particular road might take them. She’s never done well with unanswered questions and she doesn’t want Mills to end up _unanswered_.


	22. Hold the Line

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt and Severide discover something disturbing in the aftermath of the storage unit fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** Okay, here we start 3x12 and if you go back and watch the ep, just know, my timeline won’t match the episode timeline. It seems there are 48 hours between the end of 3x11 and the start of 3x12 (since Baby Boden is home) and since it’s Gabby’s death we’re dealing with now instead of Shay’s I cannot see Antonio hearing about the clippings from the unit and waiting 48 hours — or anyone in Intelligence since it directly affects one of their own. 
> 
> So, my 3x12 picks up immediately after 3x11. Just FYI.
> 
> Also I’ve written six chapters after this one and I’m just now realizing I totally forgot to write about Christmas and I so wanted to, lol. Oh well. Just assume it happened “off screen” at some point. My bad!
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> Angellwings

******

_“Another hero,_

_Another mindless crime_

_Behind the curtain_

_In the pantomime._

_Hold the line._

_Does anybody want to take it anymore?”_

_-”The Show Must Go On” by Queen_

******

“Sev and Casey still aren’t back yet?” Shay asks with a furrowed brow as she walks into the common room.

“Nope,” Sylvie answers with a frown. “Truck 81 and Squad 3 are still out.”

Shay shakes her head and pulls out her phone. “Overhaul on a storage unit shouldn’t take this long. I’m calling Sev.”

Shay walks out of the room, leaving Sylvie alone again. Engine got back to the house about a half hour ago and they reported that Truck was essentially done with overhaul so it shouldn’t have taken the others long to get back to the house at all.

Another half hour passed with no word from Shay and no reappearance of Truck and Squad. Sylvie is a few seconds away from calling Casey or Severide herself when both rigs finally pull back into the house.

Shay comes storming through the room toward the floor. She looks so enraged that Sylvie can’t help but follow her. What did she find out on that phone call? Why did she go from worried to angry?

“What the hell?” Shay asks Casey and Severide as they march toward her. “So, we think the apartment building collapse started as an arson now?”

“We don’t know,” Matt replies stiffly. “The person who rents that unit is definitely an arsonist, but the clippings about Gabby could mean nothing.”

“That would be one hell of a coincidence, Casey,” Severide says with a sigh. 

“I’d rather know for sure before I start hunting down a murderer,” Casey mutters as he breezes past Shay and herself to head into the house. 

“Intelligence is gonna look into it?” Shay asks.

“Antonio’s working on it, but the unit isn’t technically a crime scene so he doesn’t know how far he’s gonna get on it without proof of some sort of actual crime,” Kelly informs her. 

Sylvie is having a hard time keeping up. Everything is moving at a hundred miles per hour and she thinks she’s catching on, but she’d love to have it broken down for her.

“Hold on,” Sylvie says as she glances between the double doors where she last saw Matt and where Shay and Severide are currently standing. “What happened? I knew you found a lot of materials for arson, but what is this about clippings?”

“Whoever rents the unit saved articles on Gabby’s death and had them stashed in the unit,” Shay tells her.

“As if it were some sort of big accomplishment,” Severide sneers with a shake of his head.

Sylvie bites the inside of her cheek and turns to stare at the double doors again, debating going after Matt. She sighs and decides against it. This is huge news, and something he may want to process alone. 

“God, poor Casey,” Sylvie says worriedly. “To have all of this brought up again after so long…”

“It’s tough. That’s for sure,” Severide agrees. “But if this is what I think it is, it might be the closure all of us need.”

“It better lead to something positive,” Shay mutters angrily. “If it is what you think it is then you better fucking find this guy. He murdered my best friend. There’s no way in hell this asshole gets to be free while she’s gone.”

“If we don’t find him then Antonio will, Shay,” Kelly assures her. “You can be certain of that.”

A few hours later, a detective with the CPD comes by, she recognizes him as Antonio Dawson from a few pictures hanging up in Molly’s. He heads straight to the bunkroom, she assumes, to find Casey and Severide.

Ten minutes later, Casey and Severide follow Antonio toward the apparatus floor. 

“Herrmann,” Casey says as he stops in the common room. “I’m going for a ride. You’re acting Lieutenant while I’m gone.”

Herrmann nods. “Got it under control, Lieutenant. Do what you gotta do.”

Shay follows after them and when she comes back her eyes are red rimmed and shiny. She doesn’t stop in the common room. She walks straight back to the bunkroom. Sylvie exchanges a concerned glance with Herrmann and then follows Leslie. 

She’s not in her bunk so Sylvie heads for the locker room. There’s no sign of her right away, but after a moment Sylvie hears hushed sobs. She follows the sound until it leads her to one of the shower stalls. 

“Shay?” She asks through the closed curtain.

“I’m fine,” she lies in a voice clogged with tears. 

Sylvie slowly opens the shower curtain to find her partner curled up in the corner of the tiled shower. Her knees are pulled to her chest with her forehead resting on her knees. Sylvie doesn’t bother pointing out that Shay is clearly not fine. There’s no need for that. They both know she lied. Sylvie’s eyes water with empathetic tears and she sits down next to her. She puts an arm around Leslie’s shoulders and pulls her close. Shay doesn’t fight her. In fact, she leans into it and rests her head on Brett’s shoulder.

“They’re going back to the building where she died,” Shay admits in a broken voice. “To look for any signs of arson.”

“Maybe they won’t find anything,” Sylvie says hopefully. 

“No, they will,” Shay replies with certainty. “Something about that fire and collapse always felt wrong. I can feel it in my bones. Gabby was murdered.”

The tears begin again and Sylvie wraps Leslie up in a tight hug. There’s nothing she can say to make this any easier. For any of them. She can’t imagine what Kelly and Matt must be feeling having to revisit the scene -- or Antonio for that matter even if she doesn’t know him at all. 

She hates that they’re having to go through this. They were just starting to put this all behind them and to have it brought back up like this is cruel beyond measure. The son of a bitch who did this better go down. He’s hurting her friends and Sylvie can’t let that happen. 

******

The burn pattern isn’t in the right place. The squatter’s fire was closer to the corner and the origin point of the fire was several feet from it. It doesn’t guarantee arson but it’s certainly enough to alert OFI. Severide is going to get in touch with someone he knows over there and see where they go from here. It could be nothing, but it could also be _everything_.

It’s been an exhausting and emotional day and shift isn’t anywhere near over yet. Boden is still at the hospital with Donna and the baby, he’s still the most senior officer on shift, and now he has to deal with _this_ and all the emotions that go along with it. 

Going back to that building wrecked him. That was the last place he saw Gabby alive and the first place he saw her dead. It reopened every wound he’d started to heal and rubbed salt all over them. It stung like a bitch.

He’s back in his quarters trying to fill out incident reports but all he can think about is that scene and the clippings. One thing on it’s own wouldn’t stick out to him, but both of them together? It’s too much of a coincidence. There’s a knock on his open door and he looks up to find Sylvie pointing a sad smile at him.

“Do you mind if Stella covers for Shay on 61?” Brett asks with a worried furrow of her brow.

He shakes his head at her. “No, that’s fine. Is Shay alright?”

“She’s...emotional and not in the best place to focus on the job, but I think she’s as good as can be expected,” Sylvie replies honestly. “What about you? How are you?”

“I’m trying not to think about it until we speak to OFI,” he admits, rolling his neck and stretching out his arms. He’s feeling restless and anxious. The stretching somehow helps.

She nods slowly with a sympathetic expression. “That sounds very...pragmatic.”

“There’s still a chance it isn’t arson,” he tells her. He knows he sounds like he’s trying to convince himself and he also knows it isn’t working. “Until I have something definitive, I’m determined to keep it together.”

Kelly appears in the doorway just over Brett’s shoulder. Sylvie faces him with a soft smile and a consoling squeeze of Severide’s arm.

“I should get back to Shay,” Sylvie tells them. “Thanks for letting me borrow Kidd.”

“Tell Shay to go home and rest for me, will you?” Kelly asks with a worried sigh. “It’s okay for her to take the time she needs to deal with this.”

“Don’t worry,” Brett tells him with a determined gleam in her eye. “I’m already on it.” She turns to go but stops and focuses that determination on the two of them. “I’m prepared to do the same for the both of you if I have to. Just so you know.”

Even with the messy emotions that are threatening to overwhelm him, he can’t help but give her half of a fond smile. “Consider us warned.”

Brett leaves and Severide gives him an urgent look. “We have a meeting with Cunningham at OFI after shift. Hopefully she can get us a look at the case files.”

“I’ll be there,” Matt promises.

“We’re gonna figure this out, Case. Even if it’s just to rule it out,” Kelly declares, a look of certainty in his eyes. 

Matt wishes he was as confident as him. He doesn’t want Gabby’s death to be a result of arson, but if it is...arson is damn hard to prove. Justice might be allusive. He doesn’t want to get his hopes up for nothing.


	23. Electric Loud

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sylvie and Peter finally talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** Hey, everyone! Hope you’re all doing well despite the tragedies we’re living through. Hope you all continue to stay well and safe (especially if you’re out there standing up for the causes that matter most). 
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> angellwings

******

_“Then my heart stops, like a beat drop._

_It's a symphony when you sweet talk,_

_Make this quiet town, feel electric loud._

_When the lights going down,_

_Every word out of your mouth,_

_Is like music.”_

_-”Music” by Kelsea Ballerini_

******

The house coordinates just before the end of shift. Severide and Casey are going to talk to Cunningham. Herrmann is going to the hospital to keep them updated on Baby Boden. She and Kidd are going to focus on being there for Shay. With the assignments handed out, they all split up. 

“Do you mind if I go out with Pete for breakfast first?” Sylvie asks. “I’ll be over at Shay’s as soon as I can but Pete wants to talk and I’ve put him off long enough.”

“Please, take your time,” Stella says with a dismissive wave of her hand. “With all the doom and gloom around the house lately, you deserve a meal with your guy.”

Sylvie sighs and pastes on a smile. She doesn't have the heart to tell Stella that Mills may not be “her guy” for much longer. “Thanks. I’ll call you when I’m on my way.”

A few minutes later Pete pulls up at the curb. She hops in the passenger seat and away they go. Sylvie directs him to a cute little diner that she and Shay like to frequent when they have a chance. They make small talk on the drive over, but Sylvie still resolutely avoids looking him in the eye. She doesn’t want to know if he’s looking at her any differently.

They find a table and sit in near silence until they order. Once the waitress is gone, there are no more excuses to keep them from talking.

“Oh, the detectives gave this back to me today,” Pete says as he slides a small wrapped package across the table. “You never got to open it.”

“Right,” she says as she hesitantly opens the package. It’s strange seeing something from before they were taken. That feels like a lifetime ago. She smiles softly as she opens it to reveal a hula dancing shark made for the dash of a vehicle. “What’s this?” 

He shrugs bashfully. “What we are is still new but I wanted to buy you a Christmas present that would...make you smile. Something to keep us from taking ourselves too seriously, you know? I thought you could put it on the dash of 61. If you want, that is. You don’t have to.”

“Oh no, I definitely will. Shay will love it,” she assures him. “Thank you.”

She doesn’t meet his eyes again and, based on his sigh, he notices. 

“Sylvie, I know you’re mad at me for saving that guy’s life but—“

“I’m not mad,” she says quickly. He thinks she’s mad at _him_? He did nothing wrong. “I swear I’m not. You did the right thing, Pete.”

“Then why can’t you look me in the eye?”

“Because...you must think I’m awful now. I asked you to kill a man. How could your opinion of me _not_ change after that? We’re first responders. A thought like that is never supposed to enter my mind,” she answers him truthfully. 

She can’t have him thinking he did something wrong. He was wonderful. She was the one who crossed a line. Not him. His hand reaches across the table and encloses around hers, squeezing it encouragingly.

“I gave you the chance to clamp that artery and you didn’t do it. _That’s_ what counts. Besides, he and his buddy were trying to kill us. You may be a first responder but you’re also human. You didn’t act on it and that’s the only thing that matters. You can’t beat yourself up over that,” he replies. He brings the back of her hand to his lips before continuing. “I don’t blame you for having the thought, Brett, and you shouldn’t either. Is that really why you’ve been avoiding me all this time?”

She winces and nods. “Yes, I’m sorry. Honestly, a part of me keeps waiting for whatever we’re doing to end horribly...because you’re just too--”

“Too what?” He asks when she abruptly ends her sentence.

“Too nice, Pete,” she says with an exasperated sigh. “I told you I’m not used to dating nice guys and I guess I thought there was no way a good guy like you would still want me after--”

“After you did everything you could to survive a life or death situation? You didn’t do anything wrong, Sylvie. I don’t care about any of that. What I do care about, though, is _you_ ,” Mills tells her with a wide smile.

God, his eyes are so big and brown and honest. His touch is warm and his smile is...the final nail in the coffin. She’s done for. She’s hopeless for Peter Mills. This moment right here is the end of her resistance to him and his many charms. She stands from her side of the booth and joins him on his side. She nudges his hips with hers as she squeezes in next to him. He doesn’t question her or try to argue. She places one hand on either side of his face and then pulls his lips to hers. 

She feels him smile against her mouth before he leans into the kiss. His arms go around her waist to bring her closer. They don’t take it much farther then a couple of deep kisses. It’s hard not to be aware of how on display they are in such a public place. 

“Forget breakfast,” she tells him, pressing her forehead against his as she pulls back from the kiss. “Take me home, Pete.”

His eyes widen in surprise and his smile turns wolfish. “Are you sure?”

“I am. I care about you too and I’m tired of waiting for this hypothetical third date to take the next step,” she confesses with a confident nod. “We’ll drop cash on the table, including a little extra tip for the waitress's trouble, and get out of here.”

His hesitance from earlier is short lived. His reply makes it clear she’s convinced him. “Your place or mine?”

“Whichever’s closest,” she replies while slipping out of the booth to grab her purse and her coat. She knows Pete offered to pay but it’s her idea to leave before they eat. She drops enough cash for her half and then some on the table before he can tell her not to. 

He follows her lead and pays for his half. No change needed. He grabs her hand and they hurry out of the diner. She laughs teasingly at him as he fumbles with his key fob, causing a delay in unlocking his car doors. Her place is closer and with Stella at Shay’s they have plenty of privacy. 

She unlocks the door and nearly trips over a box while she scrambles to yank him against her. Stella’s still unpacking. Well, unpacking the little she could sneak out of her and Grant’s home without him noticing. _Stop, Sylvie_. No worrying about Stella now. This is about you and _Pete_. 

He wraps his arms around her waist and kicks her door shut behind him, backing her into the room with his lips connected to hers. The kisses deepen and their hands wander. She struggles with her coat as they stumble toward her bedroom. She has to violently shake her arms out of the sleeves for it to finally fall away. Pete laughs into her mouth and, _god_ , that felt amazing. 

She feels jittery and nervous but his laughter on _her_ lips soothes a bit of it. Yes, this is a big deal for her. What’s happening with Pete is different from any other relationships she’s had to this point. But this is still the same Peter Mills she’s flirted with and kissed dozens of times before. This is the same Peter Mills who went to hell and back with her during that kidnapping. He’s seen her at her best and her worst and still wants her. Nothing that happens in this moment can take that away from her. 

She pushes his coat off of his shoulders and then throws it on the couch with hers. She pulls back from kissing him to slip her fingers into the belt loops of his jeans. She aims a sultry smile at him and nods toward the door behind them.

“This is my bedroom.”

His eyebrows lift and his smile tilts. “Is that so?”

She nods and hums positive confirmation. “Would you like to see it?”

He nods emphatically. “Very much so, yes.”

She laughs brightly and tugs him along behind her. “I thought you might.”

She’s still nervous but the jitters are gone. In their place is excitement and hope. This might be new, but she can already tell it’s going to be a hell of a lot of fun. 

******

She hates that she has somewhere to be immediately after being with Pete. But it can’t be helped. Shay needs her, and Mills completely understands that. When she tells him about the possibility of the fire and collapse at the apartment building being an arson, he’s visibly upset as well. 

“I’ll come with you,” he tells her as they get dressed. “Maybe we can stop by the store on the way. Comfort food always helps in these situations. For me and my family, at least. Losing Gabby was hard on everyone but especially Shay and Casey. I’ll do whatever I can for them...and for Gabby.”

God, he’s amazing. She pulls her shirt over her head and then ambushes him with several grateful kisses. 

“I think stopping by the store sounds like a wonderful idea,” she tells him when she arches back to look at him. “You are the absolute sweetest. You know that, right?”

“It’s what they would do for me,” he says with a light blush. “Besides, Gabby was important to me too. And that explosion caused by that fire took more from me than just a good friend. It took away something I’ve wanted my whole life. If it turns out to be arson then I want to know and I want to help.”

Sylvie bites her bottom lip and gives him an apologetic glance. She runs her hands up his arms, over her shoulders, and then stops when they land on his jaw. Her thumbs caress his cheeks as she speaks. 

“I’m sorry about Squad, Pete. I know that’s been a hard adjustment for you.”

He brings his hands up to cover hers and leans forward to place a soft kiss to her forehead. “Thank you. But I think I’m doing okay with it.”

“More than okay,” she assures him. “Having worked with you for a couple of shifts, I can promise you that you’re a damn good paramedic.” There’s a beat as they exchange warm smiles. She pats his cheeks softly and then removes her hands. “Now, we’d better get going. Stella’s gonna be wondering where I’ve disappeared to.”

They finish cleaning up and dressing and then Sylvie calls Stella to tell her the plan. She and Mills are stopping at the store for groceries. They’ll be making lunch and dinner. Casey and Severide will need comfort food too, whenever they make it home.

She lets Pete decide what to make. He’s the professional. She does, however, make sure to purchase a couple of six packs of Casey and Severide’s favorite beer. When they make it to the apartment, Shay buzzes them up. She quirks one brow at the two of them as she opens the door. She points Pete toward the kitchen and then yanks Sylvie into the living room.

“Oh my god, you had sex,” she whispers harshly with a deeply satisfied grin. “You and Mills slept together, didn’t you?”

Sylvie’s eyes widen in shock. “How the hell did you know that?”

“Please, when it comes to sex no one can get anything past me,” Shay tells her with a teasing roll of her eyes. She smirks at Sylvie and then playfully bumps her shoulder with hers. “Good for you, Farmgirl. Mills is a catch.” There’s a pause, but Sylvie knows it won’t last long. She knows what question is coming next. “How was he?”

“Shay!” She admonishes.

“Oh, come on! I need the distraction.”

She bites her bottom lip in the hopes of disguising her giddy smile. She fails disastrously. 

Shay snickers at her. “That good, huh? That smile is practically glow in the dark.”

“Let’s just say, there will definitely be plenty of encore performances,” Sylvie admits with a blush.

“That’s my partner,” Shay says with an approving glance. “Get all you can whenever you can, I always say.”

Stella walks into the room, spots Mills in the kitchen, and then rushes over to the two of them. Her eyes flick from Sylvie to Pete and then back again. 

She leans toward Sylvie and Shay to speak in a hushed voice. “You totally slept with him, didn’t you?”

“Oh Jesus, is it written on my forehead or something?” Sylvie asks with a wry chuckle. 

Stella makes a show of glancing at Sylvie’s forehead before answering her hypothetical question. “Nope. You just have that post sex sparkle happening. God, I bet he’s great in bed. I mean just look at those shoulders. Oof. You are one lucky woman, my friend.”

“Trust me. I’m aware,” Sylve admits with a soft smile. 

She’s been _unlucky_ every other time before. She sees that now.


	24. Stand By You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Casey and Severide spend the day investigating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** A quick update for my new friend, Andrea.
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> angellwings

* * *

_“Hands, put your empty hands in mine,_

_And scars—show me all the scars you hide,_

_And hey, if your wings are broken,_

_Please take mine so yours can open, too,_

_'Cause I'm gonna stand by you.”_

_-”Stand By You” by Rachel Platten_

* * *

They had to go back to the scene _again_. The good news is that it wasn’t quite as heart wrenching this time. He’s faced his grief more in the last twenty four hours than he has in the last 3 months combined. He thinks it’ll be good in the long run. For him, anyway. Antonio is a pissed off mess. He tagged along to the meeting with Cunningham. He treated her like a hostile witness. It was rude as hell but it got results.

Cunningham snuck them the file in less than an hour. Sure, it was photographed documents on a flash drive but it was better than nothing. It was more than CPD could get. The name, address, and date of birth the storage unit was rented under are all bogus. Antonio insisted on going over the files at the district which Casey _hated_ because it meant facing Voight in addition to reliving the day he lost Gabby. But Antonio was a dog with a bone and there was no talking him out of it.

Severide flagged multiple mentions of shredded newspaper in the file which was possible evidence of a ‘trailer.’ Their hypothetical arsonists could have used it to spread the fire to flammable materials that were already in the building. It’s a smart way to hide arson. _That’s_ what led them back to the scene. With Antonio on their tail this time.

Matt understands that this is Antonio’s sister. Hell, if this was about Christie, God forbid, he’d be just as annoying. But Antonio’s attitude is wearing on Casey’s nerves. He lost someone too. Shay lost someone. Severide lost someone. _All of 51_ lost someone. They’re just as committed to finding out what happened as he is, but Antonio is acting as if he’s the only person that cares.

Things between himself and Antonio have been tense since Gabby died. He suspects Antonio never liked him much in the first place and his grief magnified that dislike to a whole new level. But he doubts he’ll ever know for sure. Or maybe Antonio blames him for Gabby’s death somehow. If there’s a way for Matt to blame himself he usually finds it, but he knows with certainty that Gabby’s death isn’t on him so he has no idea what blame Antonio could place on him. Grieving people can always find _something,_ though. At least, in his experience.

They combed over every inch of the scene until Severide finally found something. It was a staple attached to the remains of a matchbook. After enough years on the job, you start to recognize the tricks of the arsonist’s trade. He may not be as good of an investigator as Severide, but even he knows what that is.

Bailing wire would have held a cigarette in place until it burned down and lit all the matches. It was a fuse. Likely the fuse that started the fire and led to the explosion. They could now confirm arson. Which also meant…

Gabriella Dawson was murdered, and now they needed to catch her killer.

They immediately bagged it and took it to Cunningham. She had some concerns with how they collected it, but it was enough to convince her to investigate herself.

And now they have to wait.

Something Casey has to work very hard at being good at it in the _best_ of circumstances.

Antonio is chomping at the bit and both Matt and Kelly can tell he’s going to bug the shit out of Cunningham until they hear back from her. They tried to talk him into coming over to their place for a couple of beers. If anyone needs to unwind it’s him, but he turns them down saying he has a stack of case files that he put on the backburner so he could investigate with them. He’s going to the precinct to work on those.

Fine with Casey. He’s had just about enough of Antonio for one day.

It’s around dinnertime by the time they finally arrive back at the apartment. They’d been discussing the possibility of ordering in, but all of that is forgotten the minute they open their door.

There’s a heavenly aroma of food wafting toward them and it’s only after the smell hits them that they see Mills and Brett in their kitchen, cooking up a storm.

“Hey!” Kidd greets from the living room. “You’re home.”

Shay looks up and crosses the room to them, her arms folded over her chest. “So? What happened?”

He and Kelly trade a look and Matt silently agrees to let him handle the explanation. Matt moves through the room, toward the kitchen and the fridge, while everyone listens to Kelly recount the day. Before he can reach for the door, Brett opens it for him and hands him a cool tall bottle. He’s stunned for a moment because that’s exactly what he wanted. She anticipated his needs and he has no idea how. Does she really pay that much attention?

“Thanks,” he mutters as he twists the cap off and takes a long sip.

She nods and then turns her attention back to Kelly.

“And now we wait,” Kelly says as he finishes the story. “Hopefully Cunningham calls us sooner rather than later.”

“Or else Antonio may send Voight after her,” Matt mutters bitterly.

Severide scoffs and nods. “Yeah, that guy is losing it. Not that I blame him, but he really needs to tone it down. Cunningham won’t take his attitude for too much longer.”

“He was enough of a hothead before the divorce and losing Gabby,” Shay adds thoughtfully. “I can’t imagine what he’s like now.”

“You’ll see it soon enough, I’m sure,” Kelly warns her. “So, what am I smelling? Because it’s sure as hell not Shay’s cooking.”

“Oh, shut up. Like you’re any better than me? Unless it’s a grill you can’t handle it. We all know it,” Shay replies with an eye roll.

“Pete made dinner,” Sylvie says with a proud smile as she skims a hand across his back.

“Thought you guys might be too tired to cook and too late to order anything,” Mills states with a modest shrug. “It’s just Mexican Lasagna. Easy to cook and reheat if there’s leftovers. It’s all done so dig in.”

They get plates and spread out across the apartment. Sylvie ends up sitting next to Matt at the kitchen counter while everyone else has spread out across the dining and living rooms.

“So,” Sylvie says with a concerned glance. “Be honest, how are you holding up?”

“Better than I expected,” he admits. “I’m pissed. I want this guy to go down hard and fast — whoever he is. I’m frustrated that we have to wait, annoyed with Antonio, and…” He lets his sentence trail off before he drops his tone for a bit more privacy. He doesn’t mind talking to Sylvie about this. She’s seen him at his worst and didn’t judge. But he wouldn’t want what he says next to go further than her, Severide, and Shay. “The scene really tore me up. I never planned to go back there once let alone twice. Seeing it again, brought a lot of things back that I didn’t deal well with the first time around. It sort of feels like a chance to get closure the healthy way. I don’t know if any of that makes sense, but it’s how it feels.”

Sylvie nods and then reaches over to squeeze his hand consolingly. “It makes sense. I hate that you’re going through this but I’m glad you’re dealing with it. If you ever need someone to listen or to help with that, you know you can call me, right?”

He nods and squeezes her hand in return. “Yeah, I do. Thanks, Sylvie.”

She releases his hand with a soft smile. “Good. I don’t want you to think you _have_ to wait on the Chaplain to talk.”

Surprisingly, he doesn’t feel that way. He hasn’t felt that way in a while. Longer than he initially realized. Sylvie wormed her way into his inner circle of trust much quicker than any friend he’d had before. It makes sense to him. She’s bright and joyful. She makes him laugh, which has been rare in his life for far too long now. So, _of course_ , she would simply waltz through a few of his well built walls. He’s never been able to fight off hope before. That wasn’t going to change now.

“I don’t think that,” he promises. “Thanks to you.”

She blushes lightly and chuckles at him. “I hope that’s a good thank you and not a sarcastic thank you. I don’t mean to pester you about it.”

He snorts in amusement as he tries to reassure her. “It’s good.”

She nods and bumps his shoulder playfully. “Happy to help. It’s what we do, remember?”

She’s recalling a previous conversation when he assured her that sometimes their job goes beyond the call. He meant that. “I remember.”

They haven’t known each other long, but he’s immensely grateful he doesn’t have to go through this without her.


	25. Stick Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severide is given a shocking piece of evidence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** I had a 7 chapter lead and now I have a four chapter lead as I posted 3 chapters in a row without writing more, lol. I’ll have to work on that soon so there might be a slight delay before I post again. I’m going out of town for the weekend so I wanted to post a chapter before Friday. 
> 
> Thank you so much for all the kind words! I enjoy chatting with you guys in the comment section so much! 
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> angellwings

******

_“You've got a friend in me._

_If you've got troubles, I've got 'em too._

_There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you._

_We stick together and can see it through,_

_'Cause you've got a friend in me.”_

_-”You’ve Got a Friend in Me” by Randy Newman_

******

Next shift, Kevin Hadley calls the Firehouse and requests to speak with Severide. He _only_ wants to speak with Severide and it pisses Matt off. It was his girlfriend (almost fiancé) who died! He should be there! But if Hadley has information then Casey has no plans to get in the way of that. 

When Severide gets back to 51, he seems to think Hadley’s jerking them around, but they don’t have much time to talk. The bells go off almost as soon as he gets back and lead them to an accident scene involving Chaplain Orlovsky. The Chaplain is pinned in longer than Matt would like and loses a lot of blood, but he made the call to save the civilian first. He keeps questioning that decision but deep down he knows the Chaplain would have approved of him saving the woman first. 

Still, it’s reassuring when Brett seeks him out to talk. She and Shay have just gotten back from dropping off Orlovsky. He can tell she doesn’t have particularly good news but at least she’s not tiptoeing around him. She leans against the doorway in his quarters as she updates him.

“He’s stable but unconscious. They’ve got him on the vent,” she tells him hesitantly.

“Do they think he’ll recover?” He asks from his seat in front of his desk. He was supposed to be doing paperwork but his focus is shot.

“It's a waiting game at this point,” she answers. “I’m sorry, Casey. I wish I had better news.”

He nods slowly and releases a heavy sigh. “The extra time he spent pinned in—Do they think it made things worse or…” The sentence fades as he has no idea how he planned to end it. Lucky for him, Brett understands what he’s asking even if he doesn’t.

“It’s hard to say,” she tells him. “But what I can tell you is that the Chaplain wouldn’t have had it any other way.”

Matt rubs a hand over his face but eventually nods. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. Still, I feel like I should be doing more. He’s been invaluable to me since...since Gabby. I feel even worse because I keep wishing I could get his perspective on this arson situation. How selfish is that?”

She shakes her head at him and moves from the doorway to sit on his cot. “It’s not selfish. You respect him. Of course you want his opinion. Did Severide learn anything new?”

“Somebody sent Hadley a clipping and supposedly he has a return address on the envelope it came in. The warden is supposed to toss his cell. It’s more wait and see. Hopefully, they find something.”

As if the Universe heard him, Leslie appears in his doorway. “Severide got something from the prison. He just took it to Boden.”

He’s up and marching toward Boden’s office before Shay manages to finish her sentence. Leslie follows closely behind. They arrive just as Chief’s expression shifts from dismissive to concerned. He’s holding an envelope between two fingers and standing from his desk, looking stiff and alarmed. 

Severide takes the envelope back from him and storms away from the office. As he walks past Leslie and Matt he nods for them to follow. Casey casts one backwards glance at Boden and finds him on the phone. He looks preoccupied with worry — haunted by something.

“What’s going on?” Shay asks Severide as they fall into step beside him.

“The return address is where the fire that killed Henry Mills happened,” Severide announces, his jaw ticking angrily.

“The fire that burned up Boden?” Casey asks in shock. “Does that mean that this guy is responsible for that one too?”

“I don’t know, but we’re done waiting for Cunningham to come to us. I’m taking this to her.” Severide pauses and meets Matt’s eyes. “You coming?”

“Hell yes,” he replies immediately. 

“I’ll let the guys know you’ll be on your radios,” Leslie says with a fiery glare at the envelope in Kelly’s hands. “You guys just focus on taking this asshole down.”

“Don’t worry. We‘ll get him,” Severide swears with a thick layer of determined grit in his voice.

Fuck yes they will. Whoever this sick bastard is, his days are numbered. 

******

To say Sylvie is surprised to see Peter walking into 51, a half hour after Casey and Severide took off like bats out of hell, is an understatement. She wasn’t sure the two were related at first, but then she caught Leslie’s knowing sympathetic stare. Something’s up. Something bad. 

Peter finds her in the common room with a warm smile. “Hey.”

“Hey!” Sylvie says brightly, barely hiding her concerned suspicion. “What brings you to my neck of the woods?”

“Boden sent word to 105 that he needed to see me. Thought I’d ask you if you’re up for breakfast in the morning while I’m here.”

She nods and smiles fondly at him. “I’d love it.” Her eyes slide to Shay, worriedly. “If you’re up for it.”

He nods while his warm gaze turns into pure heat. “Good. I’m thinking I’ll make you something. At my place. _Alone_.”

“Oh,” Brett says as her cheeks flush and her smile widens. “I _really_ like that.”

He chuckles and takes one step away from her. “Thought you might.”

She watches him walk down the hall toward the bullpen and then rounds on her partner. She needs to know what’s going on.

She sits down next to Leslie, leans toward her, and whispers. “What was that look you gave Pete?”

Shay’s shoulders sag with a tired sigh. “The arsonist who killed Gabby might have also been responsible for the fire that killed Henry Mills.”

Holy shit. The person who killed Gabby may have also killed Peter’s dad? She didn’t think this situation could get any worse. Clearly, she was wrong.

“This is insane,” Sylvie says as she stares after Mills.

She’s tempted to camp out at Connie’s desk and wait for Pete in the bullpen. He’s going to be upset once Boden finishes with him. He hasn’t talked to her about it, but she knows how Pete still struggles with his father’s death nearly every day, especially in light of his injury and being removed from Squad.

Only a handful of minutes pass before Mills is stomping back down the hallway with a thunderous expression on his face. Sylvie should give him a minute alone but she can’t. His face causes a pang in her chest. She follows after him and catches up just as he reaches the apparatus floor.

“What happened?” She asks as her hand lands on his bicep.

He turns with an angry stare and fisted hands. “They think my dad’s death was caused by arson. But they don’t know for sure. And Boden thought I deserved to know. He thought I deserved to know that my father _might_ have been murdered?” He’s pissed. He has every right to be. “So now I just have to do what? Live with the uncertainty? Sit around and pray that Casey and Severide and Antonio can prove arson and have my dad go from a hero to a victim?”

His voice is raised and everyone on the floor can hear him now. Capp, Tony, and Newhouse send them concerned glances. Pete kicks a nearby trash can, sending it tumbling over and garbage spreading across the concrete floor. 

“What I wouldn’t give for a drill with the sledge right now,” he mutters as he bends down and sets the trash can right side up. He starts to reach for the garbage but Sylvie grabs his hand to stop him.

“I’ll get some gloves from 61 and pick that up later,” she assures him. She places herself in front of him and frames his face with her hands. Her steady blue gaze pointedly captures his incensed brown eyes, imploring him to focus on her. “I’m sorry, Pete. I know this has to be incredibly hard on you. But you’re not alone, okay? We’re all here, and Casey, Shay, and Severide are all in the same position as you. We’re going to get answers. No one in this house or Intelligence is going to let this case go unsolved. Okay?”

He nods and covers her hands with his. “Yeah, yeah,” he says as he takes in a deep calming breath. “You’re right.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees the Chief’s buggy pull back in and knows Matt and Kelly are inside. They’re back from seeing Cunningham. 

“If you need to go home,” Sylvie says gently. “Then go back to 105 and talk to them. It’s okay to take the time you need to digest this. We can put off our date if you want too--”

“No,” he says quickly. “I think the date will be just the distraction I need. We’re not cancelling it.”

She smiles warmly at him and nods. “Okay, then go back to 105, ask for a relief, and go home. I’ll meet you at your place after my shift. Promise.”

His expression softens and warms as his eyes travel all over her face. He always does that. He looks at all of her as if he’s taking in every detail. 

“Would it be inappropriate to kiss you here?” He asks with half of a smile.

She hears two car doors slam but no footsteps. Casey and Severide are watching them. Most likely out of concern for Mills. 

She chuckles lightly and nods. “Probably. I think the Lieutenants are watching.”

He laughs softly at her. “I doubt they’d care.” He swiftly closes the distance between them and drops a lingering but chaste kiss to her lips. When he pulls away his eyes are brighter, though still sad. “And honestly, I don’t give a shit if they do.”

She blushes but aims a fond smile at him as he steps back from her.

He clears his throat. “I’ll see you in the morning for breakfast at my place.”

She nods. “Yes, you absolutely will.”

He leaves with a quick wave to Severide and Casey. Sylvie breathes a sigh of relief. He’s hurt but he’ll be fine. Eventually.

“I take it, Boden told Mills about the return address?” Matt asks as he and Severide approach her.

“Yeah,” Sylvie replies before she sinks her teeth into her bottom lip. “He was understandably upset.”

“I’m going to see Cunningham again after shift,” Severide informs her. “She’s gonna look for similar cases to try and establish a pattern.”

“This is nuts,” Sylvie says as she turns to look at them. “How could this guy get away with this for this long? And if you guys hadn’t responded to that storage unit fire would you ever have known about it? It’s too coincidental.”

“Even the smartest criminals slip up,” Casey says with a shrug. “Storing those materials the way he did...he made a mistake and we caught it. It was lucky, sure, but I’m glad it was us. It’s personal and unlike someone else, we aren’t ever going to let this go. Not until we catch this son of a bitch.”

Severide nods his agreement. “He’s right. It had to be us. No one else would commit the way we are.”

She doesn’t doubt that. No matter the odds stacked against them, she’d bet good money on Casey and Severide any day of the week.

******

While they were out, Chicago Med called asking about next of kin for the Chaplain. After splitting off from Brett and Severide, Casey pulls Herrmann aside to ask if he knows anything Matt doesn’t. In all their sessions, Orlovsky never spoke of any family besides his mother and Matt knows she passed fairly recently. Herrmann doesn’t know of anyone else right off the bat but he says he’ll ask around and see what he can find out. 

He wishes there wasn’t so much going on at 51. Adding this on top of the arson investigation ratchets up Matt’s guilt and grief. He feels as though he made the right call at that accident scene but the niggling doubt in the back of his mind won’t go away. Even after being assured by Herrmann and Brett that he made the right call, it’s still there.

So, after shift he plans to head over to the Chaplain’s address. Maybe his building manager will know something or maybe there’s an address book that might help him out. He owes the Chaplain quite a bit and he can’t go home until he checks it out. 

As he’s leaving he runs into Sylvie. She’s staring down at her phone in concern and rolls her eyes with an air of fond annoyance. She looks up as she puts her phone away and spots him.

“Hey,” she says, falling into step beside him. “What are you up to?”

“I was gonna go check out Orlovsky’s place to see if I could find any information on next of kin for the hospital. It’ll be a good way to preoccupy myself while Severide meets with Cunningham.”

“You want some company?” Sylvie asks. “My plans just got delayed. Seems Pete didn’t take my advice and stuck out the rest of the shift. He got a call just before it ended and now he’s got reports to fill out. Are all you CFD guys ridiculously stubborn?”

He chuckles at her and nods. “Pretty much. And I would appreciate the company, yeah. If you don’t mind?”

“I wouldn’t have offered if I minded, Matt,” Sylvie says with a kind smile. 

“You wanna ride with me? I can bring you back here for your car when we’re done,” he offers.

She nods. “That would be great.”

They head to his truck and on the drive over to the Chaplain’s they make small talk.

“How was it working with Kidd on Ambo?” He asks.

“Really great, actually,” she answers. “She’s a talented medic.”

“Talented firefighter too,” Matt agrees. “I’m honestly glad 105 didn’t take her. Couldn’t have asked for a better candidate on Truck. Did I hear right, though? Did she move in with you?”

Sylvie nods. “She did. I’m not sure for how long, but it’s been fun having someone else around the apartment.” She pauses and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear before she continues. It’s a nervous habit of hers, he noticed. “I’m not sure about this husband. He reminds me a little too much of Harrison. Hopefully the distance will be good for her. I know it helped me see things for how they really were. Maybe it’ll help her too.”

“You’re a good friend, Sylvie,” Matt assures her with a small smile. “Kidd will make the right decision. She’s smart. All you have to do is be there for her like you have been. It’ll work out.”

Stopping by the Chaplain’s is a bust. The building manager knows nothing and there’s no contact for any family among Orlovsky’s things. The only thing it does is point out to Brett and Casey just how much of the Chaplain’s life is dedicated to others. He’s a great man who spends all of his time taking care of everyone else. The guilt weighing on Matt’s chest only increases.

Once they’re back in his truck and on the way to the firehouse, Sylvie seems to read him like a book.

“You made the right call, Matt,” she reminds him. “If you’d done anything differently things might have been so much worse. The Chaplain would tell you that himself if he could.”

He nods. “I hope that’s true.”

“It is,” she says confidently. “Don’t beat yourself up about this, okay? You’re outstanding at your job. You weigh the variables as best as you can in the moment and you do it really well. Sometimes, bad things happen and we can’t prevent them. No matter how much we wish we could. What happened to the Chaplain is just one of those things.”

Her words follow him home long after he drops her off at 51. Bad things happen to good people all the time. She’s right. It doesn’t mean it’s anyone’s fault or that blame needs to be placed. He’s seen it time and time again, call after call. 

How did she know he needed that particular reminder?


	26. Turn Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sylvie has an off day and Matt gets some good news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** This is sort of a filler chapter but hopefully you guys enjoy this chapter anyway lol.
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> angellwings
> 
> PS - Thanks for all the support in your recent comments! You guys are the best!

******

_“So turn right,_

_Into my arms._

_Turn right,_

_You won't be alone._

_You might fall off this track sometimes,_

_Hope to see you on the finish line.”_

_\- “Turn Right” by the Jonas Brothers_

******

She really shouldn’t have stayed over last night. She’d stayed the night before too and she has shift this morning. So does Pete. Luckily her gear is in her trunk and she keeps more than one uniform in her duffle. She could leave from his place and head straight to 51, but 48 hours straight of Peter Mills was addicting and she really should have moderated her exposure.

She feels calloused fingers feather across her jaw and slowly opens her eyes, immediately finding Pete’s warm gaze.

“Good morning,” Pete says as he bends his head to kiss her softly. “I hate to say this, but...we really have to get up.”

“I know,” she whines before lightly pressing her lips to his collarbone. “Your bed is much too cozy, though. You can’t blame me for wanting to stay right here.”

He laughs and she feels it rumble against her. She’s tucked into his side with his arm slung around her protectively. Every movement he makes registers against some part of her. She loves it. 

“What?” He asks teasingly. “Two days isn’t enough?”

She shakes her head and burrows further into him. “Nope. Not in the least.”

“Can I persuade you to get up by promising you waffles?” He asks as he rests his chin against the top of her head.

“Only if that offer also includes bacon,” she barters.

“I can arrange that,” he agrees.

She gets up and throws on his t-shirt that he discarded on the floor last night. As much as she doesn’t want to, it’s time to start the day and get back to reality.

The closer they get to leaving Pete’s apartment, the more his mood darkens. She noticed after she came over that some sort of storm was brewing behind his chocolate eyes, but when she asked him what was wrong he dismissed it. He gave her a quick excuse about a call getting under his skin, but she had a feeling it was more than that.

Not that she blames him. They were abducted and now his father’s death may be a murder (with the murderer still at large in the world), she’d be pissed too. Hell, she _is_ pissed. That’s why she agreed to see the counselor Boden recommended. 

Oh. Wait. Maybe…

“Pete,” she says once they’re dressed in their uniforms. 

“Yeah?” he replies.

She wraps her arms around him from behind and rests her cheek against his broad and sturdy back. God, he’s built. She feels so incredibly safe with him. She’s never had that before. Harrison never left her feeling protected or treasured. Pete does. She hopes she offers him even a small fraction of that in return.

“Boden recommended that I see this counselor to deal with the trauma of the abduction and everything. I made an appointment for tomorrow after I get off shift.” She hesitates to continue but she doesn’t want to leave any stone unturned. She wants to help him -- be there for him. “I know you say you’re fine, but...you could come with me, if you want. We could go together. I think it might really be helpful for--”

“I appreciate the offer, Brett.”

Brett. Not Sylvie. The way his muscles tensed at her suggestion didn’t escape her notice either.

He pats her hands as they rest on his chest and turns in her arms to meet her eyes. “I really am fine. I just want to work and get through this whole arson shitshow. You know?”

She bites her tongue, to keep quiet, and nods. She can’t force him to talk to someone. He has to want it. 

“Okay, but if you change your mind…”

“I’ll let you know,” he promises before leaning down to kiss her gently. “We should go. We’re gonna be late.”

She swallows back her tired sigh. Her 51 family is going to run her emotionally ragged. Matt and his guilt over Orlovsky, Stella and her tension with Grant, Shay and her grief over Gabby, and now Pete and his anger. She loves them all and she wouldn’t have it any other way, but it’s exhausting having a heart that so willingly shares other people’s burdens. It’s how she’s built and there’s no way to change it or shut it off. 

Sometimes, though, she wishes she could -- just for a day or two. 

******

The first thing Matt hears upon arriving for shift is that Boden wants to see him and Severide. CFD approved their request for a dedication ceremony in Gabby’s honor -- next Thursday at 51. It may be a pipe dream, but in his mind he sets that as the deadline for catching the arsonist bastard who killed her. Boden wants himself or Shay to say a few words. He hopes Shay is open to that because Matt’s never been good with words and that won’t change when his emotions are so wrapped up in everything. 

Something is off with Boden, Casey asks after Severide leaves. Boden’s father is dying of cancer and it’s extremely serious. Matt reminds Boden to let him know if they can do anything for him, but Boden only requests a moment alone. Casey’s more than happy to give it to him.

He walks into the common room and finds Brett sitting down with her breakfast. She looks distracted and tired. He serves himself a plate and then drops into the chair next to hers.

“You okay?” He asks in concern.

She sighs but then aims a wan smile at him. “Yeah, I’m good.”

It’s a half truth. He can see the partial lie in her eyes. 

“How are you?” She asks. “Any update on the Chaplain?”

He shakes his head. “No update yet. But Kendra at Med said she’d give me a call if there was any change. And I’m good. Have you talked to Severide or Shay this morning?”

“Not yet, why? Is there any update on the arson case?” She asks eagerly.

He nods, thinking of the map Severide came home with yesterday. “They’ve identified similar cases all over the city. This guy is definitely a serial arsonist. Cunningham’s looking into possible suspects now.”

“Well, that’s something, isn’t it?” Brett asks, drawing in a relieved breath.

“It’s progress,” he agrees. He narrows his eyes at her. He can’t shake his concern. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” she says again. He believes her a little more this time. “Just tired.”

The rest of their shift is pretty uneventful. Both he and Brett happen to be retrieving their things out of their lockers at the same time as his phone rings at the end of shift. It’s Kendra. He answers quickly and can feel Sylvie’s curious stare as she joins him by the bench. He relays the information to her as soon as he hangs up.

“Chaplain Orlovsky regained consciousness this morning,” he tells her. He feels a pressing weight lift off of his shoulders. “Odds are he’s gonna make a full recovery.”

“That’s so great,” Sylvie says in relief. “Send him our love, will you?”

He nods and wants to say more but they’re interrupted by an audience he didn’t notice until just now.

“Did I hear that right, Lieutenant?” Herrmann asks.

Brett waves a quiet goodbye and slinks off while he relays Kendra’s call to Christopher. His worried gaze follows her for a moment. He believes her when she says she’s tired but it’s the reason she’s tired that concerns him still. There’s been a lot going on around the house lately and he’d hate it if she fell through the cracks as a result. 

He shakes it off for the time being to talk to Herrmann. He tells Herrmann he’ll be going to see Orlovsky directly after leaving the firehouse and Herrmann hands him a hockey jersey for his peewee team -- which immediately gives Matt an idea. He heard Herrmann mention that he needed a team building exercise for his young team and Matt knows just the thing.

He tells him all about how the Chaplain’s place needs a fresh coat of paint but he’s always refused to let his building manager do it and Herrmann jumps on the idea. Matt feels a bit lighter just knowing someone else is as eager to do something for Orlovsky as he is.

He visits the Chaplain and, exactly as Sylvie said he would, Orlovsky agrees with his decision on the scene. Even though he’d been assuring himself he did the right thing all week, hearing it from the Chaplain himself eases the last of the tension in his chest. 

He may have doubted himself, but he’s grateful the people that mean the most to him never did.

******

After her appointment she tried to call Pete. He didn’t answer. She texted him and never heard back either. Maybe he’s just busy but after two days of having him all to herself something about his silence doesn’t sit right with her.

She went home and found Stella unloading a new batch of boxes from her car into the apartment.

“He hasn’t even noticed that half my clothes are gone,” Stella tells her with an eyeroll. “He’s on a song writing binge which likely means he’s also on a bender. We were supposed to talk when I got off shift but he blew me off for studio time. That’s strike two. One more and I get a lawyer.”

Sylvie hugs her tightly and rubs a comforting hand up and down her back. “I’m sorry, Stella.”

“I’ve kept this relationship going by sheer grit and determination but I’m out of both,” Stella admits as she sinks into the hug. 

“Well, let’s not think about it for the rest of the day, okay?”

She nods her agreement. “Okay. You look tired. Are _you_ okay?”

“I’m worried about Pete,” she admits. “I tried to get him to go to the counselor with me today but he claims he’s fine. I know he’s not. And now I think he’s avoiding me.”

“Maybe he’s just caught up in something?” Stella suggests helpfully. “How was your appointment?”

“It was good,” she says as they pull out of the hug. She feels much more encouraged and relaxed. “It was nice to unload on a total stranger and sort through all the emotions, you know?”

“I don’t actually,” Stella replies with a dry laugh. “Sounds too emotionally mature for me.”

She goes to her room and takes a nap after that. She didn’t sleep well in the bunkroom during her shift and she’s starting to feel it now. She wakes up three hours later and immediately checks her phone. Still no word from Pete. She tries him again and this time she leaves a voicemail. She’ll leave it alone for the rest of the day. He’ll come to her when he’s ready, she hopes. 

Another couple of hours passes and by the time she’s preparing herself lunch she’s come to a very clear realization. 

Pete’s not going to call her back. Not today at least.

She huffs and sinks into one of the chairs at the kitchen table. She hates this. Did she do something or say something wrong? Maybe she pushed too hard this morning?

No. No, this is not her fault. She’s done nothing but be concerned about the guy she’s dating. There’s no reason for him to be mad at her or avoiding her that would be caused by her actions. If there’s anything wrong then it’s Peter’s personal issue that he has to work through himself. She didn’t cause it. She used to do this to herself with Harrison and she will not do it ever again. Tension in a relationship is not always her fault. It’s not up to her alone to fix it.

Stella walks into the kitchen and spots her sulking at the table. She sits down across from her with a sympathetic smile.

“You know what we need?” Stella asks.

“What?”

“A girls night. Wine and stupid rom-coms and junk food. And--”

“Margaritas! Yes, I love this idea. Shay makes the best margaritas. We should invite her over too!”

“Do it!” Stella encourages with an eager smile. “I’ll run out and get junk food and ice cream. You text Shay.”

“Already on it,” Sylvie agrees as her fingers fly across her phone screen.

Stella needs distracting, she needs distracting, and Leslie sure as hell needs distracting. This is perfect. Stella Kidd is a genius. A girls night in is exactly what they need.

******

When Matt arrives home, he finds Kelly, Antonio, and Shay going over the map with all the fire scenes marked on it and joins them. The geography of the scenes speak for themselves. They’re waiting, yet again, on Cunningham. They have lots of information but still no suspects and it’s driving him crazy. He wants this resolved and off his plate. He wants to be able to close the door on his pain and get back to moving forward with his life. He will always love Gabby and he will always miss her, but he knows she wouldn’t want him dwelling on his losses forever. 

She wouldn’t want that for any of them. Not for him or Leslie or Antonio. 

He sees that now.

As they’re wrapping up going over what they know so far, Leslie’s phone pings. She grins slightly as she checks her messages and then heads to the kitchen. He watches her gather margarita supplies in a tote and then grab her purse by the door.

“I’m going out,” she announces. “Girls night in at Sylvie and Stella’s. Don’t wait up.”

And just like that she’s gone. 

Kelly laughs lightly. “What I wouldn’t give to be a fly on Brett’s wall tonight.”

He joins his laughter and shakes his head. Hopefully a girls night is just what Sylvie needs to take care of the exhaustion he saw in her eyes this morning. He wanted to press but Sylvie has a pretty good track record of confiding in him when she needs to. He trusts her to know how much she can handle on her own.

“So, who’s Brett?” Antonio asks as he looks between Matt and Kelly.

“Our new paramedic on 61,” Matt informs him. “She and Shay haven gotten pretty close.”

“They look like they could be sisters,” Kelly declares. “I had to do a double take the first day she showed up at the house. She’s been good for all of us, though. She’s the sunshine and rainbows type.” Severide releases a fond chuckle before he continues. “We needed that, you know?”

Antonio nods. “Yeah. I know.”

“She’s damn good at her job too,” Matt throws in. “Gabby would have liked her.”

“Hopefully I get to meet her soon,” Antonio tells them. “Sounds like she’s fitting in really well around 51.”

“She’s already family as far as any of us are concerned,” Severide agrees. “I’m sure you’ll run into her at Molly’s sometime if you never manage an introduction at the house.”

Antonio nods again, letting the subject of Sylvie drop. He takes a picture of the map and then pockets his phone. “I should get this information back to the district. I wanna see what other information I can get about these locations. You’ll call me when Cunningham gets back to you?”

“Yeah, first thing,” Matt promises.

Kelly rolls up the map and walks into the kitchen to get a beer. 

“Enough of this case for the night. We need a break. You want one?” He asks as he holds an extra bottle out toward Matt.

“Yeah, that and SportsCenter,” Matt states decisively.

“Good call. I’m down with that plan,” Kelly agrees.


	27. Hole In The Bottle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls night and the morning after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** Another slight filler chapter. But I love the relationship dynamics in the last scene even if there’s not a lot of action involved. I hope you do too!
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> angellwings

******

_“There's a hole in the bottle,_

_Leakin' all this wine._

_It's already empty and it ain't even suppertime._

_Honey, no, I don't miss him,_

_In fact, it slipped my mind._

_There's a hole in the bottle of wine.”_

_“Hole in the Bottle” by Kelsea Ballerini_

******

It’s nearly midnight and still no word from Pete. No doubt he’s avoiding her now. She vents to the girls about Pete. They assure her she’s done nothing wrong and it’s probably something he’s going through apart from her. They talk about Grant and it becomes increasingly clear that Grant is unreliable and selfish and Stella deserves better. She and Shay try to tell Stella that in words that aren’t quite so blunt. 

Stella’s doing the right thing by leaving him. She can’t live her entire life caught up in a one sided toxic relationship. Sylvie knows that better than most. 

Shay has a blast getting drunk and talking about other people’s problems. Sylvie knows she needed to feel useful. To contribute to something. There’s not much she can do in the arson investigation, but she can make margaritas and help her friends. 

That’s how they learn about the dedication service. Next week, they’re having a ceremony to dedicate 61 to Gabriela Dawson. Chief wants Shay or Matt to say a few words. Sylvie hasn’t known him long but even she knows Matt doesn't feel words are his strong suit. (She disagrees given how often and how well he’s managed to comfort her through her doubts. He says the right thing when it matters whether he realizes that or not.) Speaking at the ceremony will fall to Shay.

“I want to make her proud, you know?” Shay says through a sniffle.

“Then say that,” Sylvie suggests. “From what you guys have told me, her imprint on the house will never really go away. If honoring her memory means making her proud then say exactly that. That sentiment is beautiful.”

Shay nods and takes a long sip of her margarita. “You’re right. I’m making this too complicated.”

“No,” Stella corrects her. “You want your words to be beautiful. For Gabby. There’s nothing wrong with that. I think Sylvie’s point is simply that you should...speak from the heart. That’s all Gabby would ever want.”

Stella actually knew Gabby so Sylvie takes her word for it. Shay agrees wholeheartedly so it must be accurate. Not for the first time, Sylvie wishes she could have known Gabby. She looms over 51 at every turn. Maybe if Sylvie had known her she wouldn’t seem so legendary and filling her shoes wouldn’t feel so daunting. Then again, maybe knowing her wouldn’t have changed anything. Gabriela Dawson seems like a person everyone loved. Knowing her wouldn’t have made being her replacement on 51 any less intimidating.

They all wake up late the next morning and Sylvie still doesn’t have any calls from Pete. She’s too hungover to deal with that at the moment, but she sends out another quick text anyway. All she wants is for him to tell her he’s okay. Even if it’s a lie. At least if he texts her back she’ll know he’s not mad at her. As it stands now she has no idea what’s going on with him and that’s torture.

She groans as she crawls out of bed and into the kitchen. Her head is killing her and her stomach is unsettled. She’s grateful they got drunk at home. Who knows how she might have embarrassed herself if they went to Molly’s. 

Stella and Shay are already awake and sipping coffee when she walks into the room. They take in her sour expression and wince.

“Still no word from Mills?” Shay asks.

“Radio silence,” Brett confirms. “I hope he’s okay.”

“He’s got a lot going on right now,” Kidd reminds her. “I’m sure he just needed a day to process all of it.”

“Maybe,” Sylvie concedes. “I give up. If he wants to talk to me then he will. I’m not going to push it anymore.”

There’s a knock on the door and Stella walks away to answer it. She comes back with Peter Mills trailing behind her like a lost puppy, looking apologetic and ashamed. 

“Good to know you’re alive,” Sylvie mutters with a scoff.

He cringes and ducks his head. “I deserve that. I’m sorry. I should have called you back.”

“We’re just gonna go,” Shay says with a forced smile as she grabs Stella’s arm and pulls her away. “We’ll be in Stella’s room if you need us.”

Sylvie and Pete watch them go. He doesn’t turn back around to face her until Stella’s bedroom door is closed.

“I did something stupid yesterday,” Mills admits as he steps closer to her. “And I didn’t want to tell you about it so I…”

“Avoided me?” Sylvie asks with an eyeroll. “Yeah I got that much.”

“I made an appointment with that counsellor for today,” he states in lieu of explaining himself. “You’re right. I need to talk to someone. I’m not fine.”

She props her hip against the counter and meets his eyes this time. That’s a sharp turn around from yesterday. The anger dissipates from her expression and is replaced with worry. “What happened to change your mind?”

“A call got under my skin and I took it too far,” he confesses. “A domestic abuse call. This guy was beating his wife and she didn’t want to come forward about it. The first call it looked like he hit her pretty hard. The second call she ended up in the ER. Two calls in the same shift, Sylvie. I...I lost it. I’m just so angry all the time. About the abduction, about the arson. I can’t shake it.”

She steps closer to him and wraps her hands around his. His knuckles look bloody and swollen. He’s cleaned the wounds and the swelling is minor, but she can tell a difference. “What did you do?”

“I came up with a bogus reason to go back to that house -- to see the husband.”

Oh god. “Did you…?”

“I did. And I threatened him. He was going to get away with it and I couldn’t stand by and just let him hurt that woman. But there were other ways to handle it and instead of stepping back and finding one of those ways I let my anger get the best of me,” he tells her as his voice drops into a hoarse whisper. “I couldn’t face you after that. Not until I sorted myself out. So, I’m sorry. I just didn’t want you to see me like that and I didn’t want to tell you about what I’d done.”

“Peter, I asked you to clamp a guy’s carotid artery and give him a stroke. I have absolutely no room to judge you on anything. Yes, what you’re saying upsets me but not because I’m angry. Because I’m worried. I don’t want you to risk your job and I don’t want to lose you to your anger, even if that anger is understandable. I’m glad you’re going to see the counsellor. I think it’ll really help. My appointment yesterday was certainly helpful for me,” she says encouragingly. “I don’t want you to hide your struggles from me, Pete. If you do then what are we doing? I mean, I avoided you after the abduction and it didn’t help anything. I should have come to you immediately after. I see that now. I hope you see that you can trust me too.”

“I do, Sylvie,” he assures her as he brings the back of her fingers to his lips. “It won’t happen again.”

“Good,” she says with a relieved sigh. “Now, can you make it up to me by cooking us some hangover eggs? We had a few too many margaritas last night.”

He laughs and nods before kissing her forehead quickly. “I’m on it. Is your sink still jacked up? Cause I can have a look at that while I’m here.”

“Yes, that would be amazing,” she tells him with a warm smile. “Thank you.”

“I brought my sister’s old coffee table from college too,” he tells her as he pulls out the ingredients he needs from her fridge. “I heard you say you needed one and she was more than happy to get rid of it. I’ll unload it after I cook you ladies breakfast.”

“You’re amazing,” she tells him with a hesitant smile. “But if you ever ignore me again, I will not be so quick to forgive. Are we clear?”

His expression turns somber as he nods and looks her directly in the eyes. “We’re clear.”

******

When Matt sees Sylvie again next shift she looks much lighter than she did before. He breathes a sigh of relief and waves as he passes her. That girls night must have been exactly what she needed. They don’t get time to talk. The bells ring before either of them can get breakfast.

They’re called to a secure building with a fire in a locked down section. They have to cut out a window to reach the victim and Matt nearly gets dropped by a beam from the ceiling. Despite breathing in too much smoke, he manages to get the man to safety so they can knock down the fire. 

The minute he steps outside Brett is on him while Shay checks the victim. 

“I’m fine,” he says through a few painful coughs.

She gives him a flat disbelieving look. “You took a couple of good lungfuls of smoke. Take a deep breath.”

He does as he’s told because, as sweet as she is, she’s damn scary when she’s on the job. She clears him and pats his chest twice in a reassuring gesture before walking back over to Leslie and the victim. He stares after her for a moment with a faint smile. He takes a minute to breath in fresh air before Truck goes back in for overhaul while Ambo 61 drives away.

Sylvie Brett is taking up more and more of his thoughts whether he intends her to or not. He has no idea what to do with that. He decides to ignore it like he has been for months now. Nothing’s changed. He’s still a fucking mess and she’s happy with Mills. He has no choice but to ignore it.

Cunningham is waiting for them when they get back from their call. She wants to borrow Kelly “for intimidation” she says. They’re going to the storage unit to show the owner pictures of possible suspects and see if he recognizes anyone. It’s a long shot but they’re grasping at straws at this point. 

While he’s gone Matt busies himself with incident reports and then a little cleaning in his quarters. Anything to keep him from thinking about the arson case. A few hours later, Kelly comes back. He’s clearly pissed based on the way he slams the door to his quarters and then kicks the chair at his desk for good measure. 

Matt opens the door and leans against the frame. “What happened?”

“We found the bastard. He all but confessed while casually eating a sandwich on his lunch break,” Severide exclaims in irritation. “Cocky son of a bitch. Cunningham’s gonna work on it and see if it’s time to get CPD involved. He did it, Casey. I know he did it. Jesus Christ, I wanted to punch that smug bastard.”

Imagining this guy walking around free, bragging about what he did makes Casey want to beat the shit out of him too. He can hardly blame Kelly. 

“I’m tired of waiting on Cunningham for everything,” Matt says through a clenched jaw.

“If OFI pursues the case we may not be waiting on her much longer,” Severide says hopefully. “We have to give her a little more time, Case.”

“It’s been too long as it is,” he mumbles as he walks away from Severide and back to his quarters. The dedication ceremony is next shift and they aren’t any closer to putting this guy away. 

The forty eight hours between shifts passes more slowly than usual, with still no word from Cunningham. He uses the break to focus on his construction gigs and it’s therapeutic as hell to work until he’s too tired to think.

When he walks back into 51 for the next shift, he feels nothing but relief. At least when he’s doing this job he feels like he’s making a difference.

For the second shift in a row, Ambo is called out before breakfast. He waves at Brett and Shay as they pass him to load up in their rig. He goes to the locker room and stashes his stuff, grabs a plate of food, and sits in the common room to finish up reports and stay connected with his guys. Sometimes he needs the quiet to work but other times he needs the reminder he’s not alone. 

Nearly an hour later, Leslie and Sylvie blow back into the house with Shay pestering Brett with questions as they walk. 

“You sure you’re okay? I mean that psycho had a knife to your throat,” Shay states as she watches Sylvie reach for a coffee mug. “He freaking cut you.” 

Sylvie glances around the room and self consciously touches the bandage on her neck. “It was barely a knick, Shay. I’m fine.”

Matt quirks a brow at them. “What happened?”

“Guy who wanted to go back to jail held a knife to her throat so he’d be called ‘armed and dangerous’ and be arrested. Apparently, parole was too much pressure for him,” Shay informs him.

Casey stands with a furrowed brow and narrows his eyes on the bandage, concern etching into every line on his face.

Sylvie looks anywhere but at him. “Shay, you cleaned and bandaged it yourself. You know it’s not a big deal.”

“Physically, it’s minor, but come on that was scary back there,” Shay says in concern.

“It was but I’m fine now,” she insists. “Trust me, I’ve been a lot more scared than that on this job.”

That renders both him and Shay completely silent. She’s right, of course. The abduction was far scarier than some guy with a knife, but the reminder feels like a splash of cold water to the face. Whether she intended it to or not. Sylvie pours herself a cup of coffee and then walks away.

“She’s not the newbie she was a few months ago,” Shay tells him sadly. “I kinda wish she still was.”

He sighs and nods. “Me too. But it’s bound to happen with a job like ours. She’s okay. She seems to be adjusting fine, Shay.”

“I know,” she says as her brows draw together. “I just don’t want her to lose that natural goodness she has, you know?”

“She won’t,” Matt assures her. “She’s too strong to let anything take that from her.”

Leslie nods. “You’re right. She’s better than any of us and stronger than I think even she realizes.”

He completely agrees with that. Sylvie underestimates herself constantly. He realizes she doubts her ability to do this job but she’s made for it. He knows that with complete certainty.

“Then it's a good thing she has us to remind her,” Casey states with a firm nod.


	28. Bless Me and Release

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final confrontation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** We’ve reached the last of the Gish plot. I’m happy to be done with it because this plot was emotionally exhausting. PLUS, I’m super excited to show you guys what I did with the episode AFTER this one. ;)
> 
> Happy reading!

****** 

_“Breathe, trust, bless me and release,_

_Climb, hard or never be seen._

_Closed off, rescue to breathe._

_Just bless me.”_

_-”Closure” by Chevelle_

******

Shift is coming to an end. The dedication ceremony is in a few minutes. With both those things comes the crushing realization that the goal he set for himself won’t happen. They won’t have Gabby’s murder solved before they dedicate 61 in her memory. He knew better when he set that goal for himself but the timing seemed too coincidental. 

He sends up a silent apology to Gabby as they all get in their positions and wait for Antonio and the rest of the Dawsons to make an appearance. Once they’ve arrived, they begin. 

CFD had Gabby’s name, birthdate, and date of death immortalized on the driver’s side door of 61. It was an honor but not nearly enough comfort in the face of losing her. 

Shay made a beautiful speech about 51 honoring Gabby’s legacy by trying to be the best version of themselves they can possibly be every time the bells go off and about how they work hard every day to make her proud. It’s Matt’s job to unveil Gabby's name and it’s nearly too much. He realizes now that this is the closure he’s been lacking. He avoided closure during her funeral and the first six weeks she was gone, but now the dedication ceremony is allowing him another chance to say goodbye. 

The arson investigation is doing that too. 

Her killer needs to be locked away and he will help make that happen however he can.

For Gabby, for himself, for Shay, for the entire house. 

This is his moment to say goodbye. It’s taken far too long but he feels ready now to acknowledge that the future he had planned will never come to be, but that doesn’t mean he has no future at all. Gabby wouldn’t want him to throw his life away. She’d want him to do something with it, make something of it, and _be happy_.

As soon as they catch this Gish bastard, that’s exactly what he plans to do.

_Be happy._

That night they all show up at Molly’s to reminisce about Gabby and enjoy each other. Mills and Brett are late and he notices the bandage on Sylvie’s neck is new and Pete looks at her with extra affection. She must have told him about the call. Mills hovers a little closer than normal, with his hand constantly on the small of her back. Matt can’t blame him. He’d be a bit protective too. Hell, even as her friend he feels a bit protective.

Chief joins them just before Cunningham walks in. Casey feels for Boden and his situation with his father. He has to sit back and watch someone he loves suffer. Matt would never be good at that. He’d take on any sort of pain to spare someone he cared about. He knows Boden feels very much the same.

Cunningham stops at their table. Her expression isn’t encouraging.

“I have some bad news,” she says reluctantly. “OFI has decided not to pursue Adrian Gish at this time.”

A ripple of shock spreads throughout the group. None of them can believe it. They all question her but Cunningham has nothing further to offer them except an apology. 

“My boss has been doing this for a long time. He knows what cases will stick. This one won’t. At least not yet.”

The conclusion is that they’ll have to wait and see what happens -- for him to make a mistake. Matt’s tired of waiting. He’s tired of letting someone else set the terms. 

“Unbelievable,” Shay mutters bitterly.

Casey knows exactly how she feels. 

“I’m sorry,” Cunningham says one last time before she walks away from them for good.

Antonio shakes his head from where he stands behind Leslie. “Hell no. I’m not waiting anymore.” He looks to Boden and then Casey. “You guys have had your chance. Now we’re doing this CPD’s way.”

He pulls out his phone and storms out of the bar. 

Matt hopes Intelligence has better luck and he hopes Antonio asks them for help if they need it. Everyone at 51 will have his back. All he has to do is say the word.

And, late the next day, he does. He calls Chief Boden and asks if they can brief Intelligence on what they know so far. Boden brings himself and Severide along. They lay out the map and explain the fire scenes that are marked and how far they go back. They don’t know how long Gish has been at this but they figured the more information CPD had the better.

That’s when Antonio drops a bomb on them.

“His name’s not Gish. He’s been using a fake identity for a long time. We don’t know how long.”

What the fuck? Seriously?

“He torched a patrol car yesterday,” Jay adds.

“You serious?” Severide asks in shock.

“Yeah,” Jay replies with a shake of his head.

“It’s actually a good sign,” Antonio informs them. “Our plan is working.”

“This helps too,” Erin says as she reads the locations on the map. She turns to Kevin as he looks over the map with her. “Atwater, why don’t you and me cross-reference all these fires with the name Ross McGowan and see what pops--”

“Pardon me,” Boden interrupts, looking incensed. “What did you say?”

“Ross McGowan, Gish’s birth name,” Kevin explains.

“That is not his birth name,” Boden insists. 

Everyone turns to look at Boden curiously.

“What’s that, Chief?” Voight asks.

Matt hates being in the same room with Voight, but he has to keep reminding himself this is for Gabby. Voight is a necessary evil.

“Ross McGowan was a firefighter. He died in the same fire that killed Peter Mills’ father, Henry. Same place I got my scars.” Boden sounds angrier with every word and Matt can’t blame him. 

An arsonist stealing a firefighter’s identity is as violating as it is insulting. Especially when that arsonist is responsible for his death.

“So, McGowan’s a fake ID too,” Voight says with a tense tick of his jaw.

“Going back 20 years,” Boden supplies.

There’s a moment of silence before Voight explodes. He throws his water bottle against the wall and yells, “Who is this guy? Huh?”

“Thanks, guys,” Erin says when it’s clear Voight won’t. “We’ll update as soon as there’s anything to update.”

Antonio looks just as pissed as Voight. Casey’s never seen Antonio mirroring Voight. It terrifies him to see it now. Antonio has always had very clear moral lines and he’s afraid, given what’s at stake, that he might cross them. Especially with Voight as an influence.

They leave with worried glances back at the unit of Intelligence officers. They’re sick of waiting, but it’s not worth it if it’s not done right or else they’re just as bad as Gish. Hopefully, Antonio remembers that.

The next day, he gets a call around dinnertime. Shay’s just left to meet Sylvie someplace and he and Kelly aren’t doing much of anything aside from having a couple of beers. 

He answers immediately upon seeing Antonio’s name, thinking it’s an update on the case. Antonio doesn’t even bother with a greeting.

“Is Shay with you?”

“No, she just left. What’s up?”

“Shit,” Antonio curses. “Call her. Call her now. Tell her not to meet Sylvie. It’s a trap set up by Gish.”

“Fuck,” Matt curses. “On it. Where’d he have her go?”

“The address is 6 South Loomis Street.”

He hangs up and immediately dials Shay, motioning Severide out the door. 

“What’s going on?” Severide asks as he follows.

“Shay’s in danger. Gish is after her,” Matt tells him. “Grab your keys, your car is faster than my truck. We need to go to 6 South Loomis St.”

“Jesus Christ, yeah, I’m on it.”

They hop in the car and take off while the phone is still ringing. Shay picks up and Matt’s heartbeat calms. Only for a moment though because before he can tell her to get the fuck out of dodge the signal cuts out. She’s getting in an elevator. Matt calls Antonio and gives him an update. They’re on their way too.

By the time they arrive on the scene PD has stormed the place and a perfectly healthy Shay is being led out of the building with Antonio’s arm around her. Severide barely has the car in park before he’s bounding out the door and wrapping himself around her.

“Holy shit, are you okay?” He asks as he grabs her face in both of his hands and looks her over. 

“I’m okay,” she assures him. “I’m okay!”

She’s coughing lightly and reeks of gasoline. Severide and Casey share a look. The bastard tried to light her up. It wasn’t enough that he took Gabby from them, he was going to take Shay too?

“Did you get him?” Matt asks Antonio through a sneer.

“Trust me, that son of a bitch won’t be setting any more fires,” Antonio says angrily. “He’s down for the count.”

“Thanks,” Matt says with a stiff nod. “For getting to Shay before he could.”

“Gabby would have never forgiven me if I let anything happen to her best friend. You don’t have to thank me,” Antonio assures him as he walks away to update the rest of his unit.

“It’s over,” Leslie tells them both as she tightens her hold on Severide. “Antonio shot him. The bastard’s dead.”

Relief floods him. Not happiness, really. He can’t say he’s happy for all the loss they suffered or the danger Leslie was in, but he’s relieved that they can close the door on it. They can move on. Gabby’s killer has been brought to justice. There’s satisfaction in that fact -- resolution.

Maybe now they can all have a little peace.

******

Pete picks Sylvie up to go to Molly's just as she gets a text from Matt. Peter’s phone goes off at the same time. She has a pretty good idea it’s a group text before she even opens it.

_“It’s over. They got him.”_

“Oh my god,” Sylvie mutters across her open front door. 

Pete’s staring at his phone in shock too. “I can’t believe it. Antonio really did it.”

“I wonder how they finally got him?” Sylvie asks. Something about Matt’s vague text worries her. Why so short on the details? 

“I don’t care as long as he’s not out there putting anyone else in danger,” Pete tells her. “My dad and Gabby deserved justice. The fact that they got it is all that matters.”

Sylvie nods and steps out of the apartment, locking the door behind her. “You’re right. That’s all that matters.”

She knows there’s more to the story, though, the minute they cross the threshold into Molly’s. Shay looks jumpy and haunted and Severide is hovering. Mills makes a beeline for Boden and Sylvie heads straight for Shay.

“Hey,” she says as she takes the stool next to her. “What happened? Everything okay?”

“The bastard came after her,” Severide says when Leslie stays silent. “That’s how Antonio got him. He killed him while he had Shay cornered.”

His arm skims across Leslie’s back as he explains. Shay sighs and takes a long gulping sip of her beer.

“I’m fine,” she tells her. “Don’t worry about me, Farmgirl. He came close but there’s not a mark on me.”

Sylvie gasps and then wraps her arms around Shay, accidentally letting Severide’s arm get caught up in her hug. Shay reciprocates and rests her chin on Sylvie’s shoulder. 

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” Sylvie whispers, shutting her eyes tight and trying not to imagine a world where they weren’t so lucky. 

“Ambo 61 has to take a step back from the drama,” Leslie jokes. Sylvie can hear the tears in her voice even if she won’t admit to them. “First you with the abduction and then what happened today. What problem children we are.”

Sylvie chuckles and gives Leslie one final squeeze before she pulls away. “Yeah, we really need to tone it down, huh?”

“Next shift we better get nothing but frequent flyers and fender benders,” Shay says, glancing upward to the ceiling. “You owe me, Universe. You got that?”

“Where’s Matt?” Sylvie asks, glancing around the bar. 

“He’s outside working out a few things with Antonio,” Severide tells her. “He still has some of Gabby’s things that the family wants back.”

She nods as Pete joins them. He flags down Herrmann and orders drinks for himself and Sylvie. He reaches over and squeezes Shay’s arm.

“Glad to hear you’re okay,” he tells her. 

“Thanks, Mills. Glad to hear your dad’s killer got his,” Shay responds.

“That makes two of us,” he says with a deep calming breath. He drops a kiss to the top of Sylvie’s head as he stands behind her. “I’ve been angry all week. It feels good to let some of that go. It feels like…”

“Closure?” 

They all turn to find Matt with a longneck bottle in hand and a sad smile on his face. Herrmann leaves Sylvie and Peter’s drinks in front of them and walks away to serve another customer. They pick up their beers as they acknowledge Matt.

“Yes, exactly,” Pete agrees. “Closure.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Severide says as he holds up his bottle. “To closure.”

“To closure,” they all repeat as they clink their bottles together.

And now they start to rebuild and move forward. 

Together.


	29. Blendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a record breaking cold day in Chicago...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** Okay, today is the first day I’m starting my writing schedule and for today I have “reply to comments and post new chapter” so even though I posted last night, I’m posting AGAIN today. ;) 
> 
> I’m sorry if you guys feel this story isn’t very exciting right now. Bringing Matt closure and building Matt and Sylvie friendship is vital toward getting them closer to each other in a romantic sense. That’s going to take some time. That being said, things should start picking up speed fairly soon. When I say “soon” I mean it in the show runner sense of the word, ominous and vague. 
> 
> Happy reading! I really loved putting a new spin on this episode, by the way. I hope you guys enjoy what I did! I hope you guys enjoy what I did! The next chap will wrap it up and we'll be on to the next plot.
> 
> XOXO

******

_“If you're ever in a jam, here I am._

_If you're ever in a mess, S.O.S._

_If you're so happy, you land in jail. I'm your bail._

_It's friendship, friendship, just a perfect blendship._

_When other friendships are soon forgot, ours will still be hot.”_

_-“Friendship” by Cole Porter_

******

It’s fucking freezing outside. 

Excuse her language but that’s the only appropriate descriptor.

It gets cold in Fowlerton, but this is an entirely new level of cold.

She walks into the Firehouse and finds Capp underneath the Ambo. Leslie sighs and shrugs. 

“It wouldn’t start and fleet management is swamped so we get Capp.”

“The day is already off to a stellar start,” Sylvie replies with an eyeroll and a dry chuckle.

Roll Call is basically a briefing on how they should work in below freezing temperatures. Truck goes off to load 81 and salt the drive and the sidewalk. She and Leslie are just settling in with cups of coffee when Matt runs in, a sense of urgency following him into the room.

“Brett, Shay, we got a situation.”

He nods toward the bunks and they both follow dutifully.

Leslie’s eyes light up at the sight of the tiny pink baby on Stella’s bunk.

“Oh god, would you look at her!” Leslie gushes with a wide smile. “Where’d this little lady come from?”

“Found her on the apron,” Kidd says as she tucks the blanket tighter around the infant. Her eyes narrow slightly, contradicting her grin, on a cardboard box.

“Outside? In this weather?” Sylvie asks in concern, stopping in her tracks. “We should check her vitals. I’ll be right back.”

She grabs the jump bag from the rig and when she gets back, Shay has completely taken over caring for the baby. Stella looks more amused than put out while Matt gives Leslie a knowing smile. Sylvie gets the sense that there’s some sort of history here. Something Shay hasn’t let her in on yet. 

“Okay, little munchkin,” Sylvie says as she sits down next to Shay. “Let’s see how you’re doing.” She rubs the baby’s tiny hands before digging out the stethoscope. “She’s warming up,” Brett declares after she listens to her heartbeat. “Heart rate’s stable.”

“No signs of frostbite,” Leslie states and she feathers a finger across the baby’s cheek.

“Alright, let’s bring her over to Chicago Med. I’ll call DCFS,” Chief orders.

“Uh, that might be a problem,” Shay tells him with a grimace. “The Ambo’s down for the count.”

All eyes turn to Capp.

“I’m making some headway,” he says defensively.

“Hurry,” Boden says with narrowed eyes. He tosses his keys to Mouch. “In the meantime, I have diapers and formula and wipes in the trunk of my car. Bring those in.”

“On it,” Mouch answers, already making his way out the door. Capp follows him to start working on the ambulance again.

Leslie lifts the baby off the cot and pulls a rubbery face. “Shew, Mouch better hurry. Our tiny guest smells a little ripe.”

“Poor thing,” Sylvie says sympathetically. “I can’t believe someone left her all alone in the cold.”

“Me either, but we’ve got her now,” Stella says as she leans across the cot to look at the baby’s tiny face. “We’ll keep her both safe and warm until that ambulance is up and running.”

The guys slowly trickle out of the room now that the excitement is over and the real responsibilities are beginning. 

Leslie cradles the baby close to her chest and then looks up to glance between Stella and Sylvie. Her smile is sheepish as she speaks. “Severide and I almost had a baby together once. I was determined to be a mom.”

She and Kidd share a surprised glance.

“Severide was gonna be your sperm bank?” Stella asks with an amused grin. “Oddly enough, I could see him as a dad. I can’t see him committing to one woman and only one woman but I _can_ see him as a dad.”

“Neither one of us really wanted a serious relationship,” Shay tells them. “But we both wanted to be parents and since he's my person and all...it made sense.”

“So, what happened?” Sylvie asks. “Why isn’t there a tiny little Shayveride baby waddling around the firehouse?”

She shakes her head and sighs. “It got too hard. Too messy. It put too much of a strain on our friendship so I decided to find another way but another way never happened and eventually I...well, I stopped trying. The dream is still there but it just feels far away. You know?”

“Maybe it’s time to pick it back up again,” Stella suggests. “If anyone deserves to be a mom, it’s you. You already act like one with us.”

Sylvie laughs and nods her agreement. “You are for sure the mom friend. A hundred percent.” She hesitates a moment before injecting her own personal experience into the discussion. Maybe it’s not something Shay wants to hear and maybe it’s oversharing but Sylvie adores these two women and wants to encourage them however she can. “Are you...are you set on carrying the baby yourself? I mean, there’s always adoption. It, um, worked out for me and my parents.”

The two women blink at her for a long quiet moment. Finally, Shay breaks the silence.

“You were adopted?”

She nods and swallows thickly. She’s not embarrassed by it but thinking about the path her life could have taken makes her emotional. Her parents chose to love her unconditionally, and they’re great at it.

“I was just a baby when they adopted me so I never knew my birth parents, but I grew up with the kindest and most selfless parents ever. I can’t complain. I know how lucky I am. Things could have gone very differently for me if not for them. They saved me. You--you could do that too. I mean, if you wanted to. There’s more than one way to have a family.”

Leslie’s sheepish smile softens and her eyes find Sylvie’s with a grateful expression. “You’re right. There’s definitely more than one way to have a family. Maybe I gave up too soon.”

“It’s never too late to try again,” Kidd reminds her with a consoling squeeze of her arm just before Mouch comes back with the supplies. 

The conversation is over for now. Mouch returning reminds them that they’re in more or less a public space. Shay may not want to talk about this particular topic around the men of 51.

“Right now,” Shay says as she turns her attention to the baby again. “I think I’ll focus all my motherly affection on this little one.”

******

After a half hour of waiting on Capp to finish with the rig, Sylvie goes out to check on him. Matt and Stella follow her. 

Severide’s busy with Cunningham so Matt’s been doing his best to keep an eye on Shay for him. He knows the basics of her dream of becoming a mother. He can relate more than he cares to admit. He’s wanted a family of his own since his parents’ marriage went down in flames. Shay is in the common room with Otis and the baby. She’s a natural mother. Casey hopes it eventually works out for her. She deserves that.

“Have you tried turning the key really slowly?” Sylvie asks as she hops up in the driver’s seat. “I know when a bad cold front comes through Fowlerton sometimes--”

“I have taken this engine apart and put it back together,” Capp says, cutting her off in frustration. “A simple flip of a switch isn’t going to--”

Sylvie demonstrates her theory. This time the engine turns over and the Ambo starts. 

“What the fu--”

Sylvie stands half out of the driver’s side of the cab and wags a finger at Capp to stop his curse. “Uh uh! I told you! There is a child in the house! If you wanna curse, take it outside!”

Her smug grin is almost too much for Matt to take. He chuckles and turns to Kidd.

“Get some extra blankets,” he orders. “Let’s get this baby to Med.”

Stella nods and manages one step before 61’s radio crackles to life. 

“Go for 61,” Sylvie says. The radio continues to be scrambled with interference. “With 911 down, the channels are probably overloaded.” She bites her bottom lip as they all listen, finally making out the words through the static, and looks at Matt with a question in her eyes. “It’s chest pains. Diversey and Kenton. Should be quick and easy.”

He thinks for a beat and then nods. “Okay. Hit it. Take Kidd with you. I’d feel better if we kept a medic here for the baby.”

Sylvie flashes him a soft smile. “And maybe because Shay’s gotten a bit attached?”

Her eyes are too knowing for his comfort. “You wanna try and separate her from that kid, right now?” He asks with a teasing grin.

“Definitely not,” Stella agrees. “I’ll ride along.”

“Copy, Main,” Sylvie says into the radio. “61 on our way!”

Kidd and Brett pull out of the house and nearly run over a civilian trying to find her way inside.

“Excuse me. Excuse me. Do you work here?” The woman asks as she approaches him.

“Yeah, everything alright?” He asks in concern.

“No. No, it’s not,” she says. “I think you have my baby and I want her back.”

Well, _shit_. It turns out her name is Toni Jessup and she’s claiming the baby, apparently named Grace, is hers. Matt leads her inside to Boden and Shay. She says her deadbeat ex took the baby from her and dropped Grace off here this morning to get back at her. None of them are entirely sure they buy her story. Shay asks a few questions about what the baby was wrapped in and what she was wearing. Toni gets them all correct. That works in her favor, but they still can’t release the baby to her without DCFS approving it. 

Boden tells her as much and she’s visibly upset. 

“My best advice is that you come back with some proper documentation and we’ll go from there,” Boden states firmly.

“Okay,” she agrees with a huff. “I’ll be back later then.”

She leaves and Matt takes it upon himself to call DCFS with an update. He catches up with Shay in the bunkroom later. 

“How’s Grace?” He asks. 

“Good. Really good,” Shay says as she points a besotted smile at the baby. She rocks her gently while she continues talking to him. “What did DCFS say?”

“They’re tied up. 911 being down has basically brought everything to a stand still,” he says with a sigh.

“This may be awful to say,” Leslie says as she leans toward him with a conspiring smirk. “But I’m happy to hear that. It means I get to spend more time with this one.” She makes a silly yet endearing face at the baby in her arms and Matt chuckles at her. 

“You’re good with her,” he tells her.

“Thanks,” Shay says as she scoots over on the cot. “Sit. You can hold her.”

“Oh, no, I couldn’t--”

“You can and you will,” she insists. “Sit.”

She carefully hands Grace over to him, making sure to point out that he needs to cradle her head. He knows all of that. He remembers holding Violet when she was this small. It seems like a long time ago, but he remembers.

“I forgot how much I really wanted to be a mom,” Leslie confesses quietly. “Or maybe I forced myself to forget. It’s hard to tell which. So much happened last year that it was easy to let certain dreams slip away. And then with everything with Gabby…”

He nods. “Yeah, trust me, I know. That threw us all off our axis. But, I don’t know about you, it feels like things might be leveling out again.” He takes a deep breath after he says it and waits for the guilt or for a relapse of intense grief. But it never comes.

The grief is still there. It’s just quieter than it used to be.

Leslie gives him a small smile. “You’re right. I feel that too. Gabby wouldn’t want us to be stuck in the past forever. She’d want us to be happy -- to fulfill our dreams. We can do that and still remember her. Hell, we can remember her _by_ doing that. Moving forward, doesn’t mean we have to forget.”

He’d never thought about it like that. He should have because it seems simple, but when you’re twisted up with grief the simple things never occur to you. It’s possible to do both. It’s possible to move forward and remember Gabby. He doesn’t have to choose one over the other.

“That applies to you too, you know,” Shay says as she bumps his shoulder playfully. “No rush, but she wouldn’t want you to be a hermit for the rest of your life.”

He laughs and nods his agreement. “I know that. I’m just trying to find my equilibrium again. I think my feet should be on steady ground before I put myself back out there, you know?”

“Yeah, I do,” she replies. “Well, whenever you’re ready, it’ll be okay. You deserve to be happy, Matt.”

His brows raise and he smirks at her. “Did you just call me Matt? You never call me Matt.”

“It felt like a Matt moment,” she says with a light laugh. “Screw you. See if I’m vulnerable with you ever again, jackass.”

“Hey, I wasn’t complaining. I never said I minded,” he tells her with a reassuring grin.


	30. The Only Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt worries about Sylvie, but what else is new?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** This is the last chapter for this episode. Next chapter begins my version of the Welch and Pridgen plot. ;) I hope you guys will enjoy where I take it. I’m considering it the point at which the story “levels up”. You’ll see what I mean soon.
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“When the night has come,_

_And the land is dark,_

_And the moon is the only light we'll see._

_No I won't be afraid._

_Oh, I won't be afraid,_

_Just as long as you stand, stand by me.”_

_-Stand By Me by Ben E. King_

******

Eventually, he gets back to prepping equipment for the cold. He’s in the middle of restocking the ice on the truck when Boden leaves with the doctor. He goes back to the bunkroom to check in with Shay. The baby’s fine, but the doc noticed she was a premie. Shay’s concerned about the care she’s getting at home. She has every right to be. Toni and her ex hardly seem capable of caring for a baby who might need a little extra care.

They get a call before he can say much else which finally gets Severide out of his quarters. He’s been tied up with a case for Cunningham and OFI. The call is a level one HAZMAT. It’s a quick and easy call and they’re back at the house in just over an hour. They walk in to find Toni holding Shay and Boden at gunpoint.

Chief orders Otis to call CPD. Shay shields the baby with her body as best she can. Ultimately, though, Toni runs. Matt and Kelly move to follow but Boden stops them. Probably a good call. Toni seems unstable and who knows what could happen. 

Kelly runs back to check on Shay.

“Are you okay?” He asks as he looks over her and the baby.

“I’m fine. But we have to get Grace out of here. I mean, what if she comes back?”

Boden comes back into the room several minutes later. CPD has put out an investigative alert on the woman and Boden’s called in another ambulance to take the baby to the hospital. This situation has been upgraded to an emergency so they’ll be a higher priority for dispatch.

But the mention of a second ambulance reminds Matt of something else. 

“Have we heard from Brett and Kidd?” He asks the room.

No one answers. 

“If there are any more updates,” Boden says as his own expression becomes worried. “You’ll be informed.”

Matt nods but heads straight to Tower. After the Lullo incident, he’s not taking any chances.

“Ambo 61,” he says into the radio. “Brett, report.”

He waits and all he gets in return is static.

“Ambo 61, this is station 51. Report.”

Still nothing.

He looks up to see the backup Ambo pull up outside and stops Shay as she passes him.

“You heard from my partner yet?” She asks.

He shakes his head. “No.”

Her eyes narrow. “That’s not like her.”

“No, it isn’t. But I’ll figure it out. You make sure Grace is safe.”

She nods and starts to walk away but he calls her back. She turns with an expectant glance.

“You’re gonna be a great mom,” he assures her. “Don’t give up on that.”

She smiles fondly at him and nods. “Thank you. I won’t.” She pauses as her smile flattens in a teasingly bland expression and one brow arches critically. _“Casey_.”

He chuckles and rolls his eyes. “Well, the first name was nice while it lasted.”

“Your own fault!” She calls over her shoulder as she walks away. 

Severide follows her to the apparatus floor and Matt turns back to the radio. They should have heard from them by now.

“Ambulance 61, report. Status update.”

“Hello?”

That’s not Brett or Kidd. Worry starts to turn to panic.

“Who is this?” He demands.

“This is Abe. Who’s this?”

 _Fuck._ What the hell is a civilian doing on 61’s radio?

He never answers Abe. He sprints to find Severide. The ambo carrying Shay and Grace is just pulling away as he meets up with him on the apparatus floor.

“I think Brett and Kidd are in trouble,” he tells him. “We need to load up.”

Severide doesn’t question him for a moment. He simply nods and yells for Squad to get in the truck. Matt runs back into the house and gets his guys together. They speed off to Diversey and Kenton, the last place they knew their medics were. They arrive to find the ambo alone and running with two patients inside. One of whom, Matt assumes, is Abe. 

He orders Herrmann and Mouch to stay with the rig and orders everyone else inside. 

“Brett!” Matt yells as they sprint through the building.

“Over here! Help!”

Oh god. She sounds frantic. She never sounds frantic. 

He knows why the second she comes into view. Both she and Kidd have their torsos halfway down an industrial pit, gripping a teenage girl’s arms for dear life. Kidd yells something about improvising a rope to keep her from falling any deeper but all Matt sees is Sylvie, unbalanced and stuck.

“Sylvie!” Matt yells as they close in on them.

“I’m okay!” She assures him. “Help us hold her!”

Severide shouts a warning to watch their step.

“The barb is sticking into her torso! She’s losing blood!” Sylvie informs them as Squad and Truck take over the scene. He slides in between her and Kidd while Cruz and Severide take the corner next to them. He and Cruz take the girl’s arms, relieving Kidd and Brett from the trying task. He orders Otis to tie a girth wrap and then he and Severide discuss how to cut the barb. Severide decides on the whizzer saw, but the minute he starts to cut their victim freaks out. She’s thrashing and screaming and making her injury worse. 

“I need her to calm down!” Kelly yells after his attempts to soothe her fail.

Sylvie, in a move that both impresses and terrifies him, jumps right back in with no hesitation. She leans almost half of her body into the hole again and reaches for the girl.

She keeps screaming, over and over, about how this can’t be real. Sylvie rips off her glove, in below freezing temperatures, and wraps her hand around the girl’s.

“Celia! Look at me! Look at my face!” She yells. “Right in my eyes! Okay, do you feel my hand?”

Celia continues to mumble but nods. 

“You feel the texture of my skin?”

Another nod. 

“That’s definitely real, right? Do you believe me? Can you trust me that much?” She asks.

Miraculously, Celia’s muttering stops as she nods a third time. 

“Then trust me when I say we are here to help you. Okay? But we need you to stay still. Okay?” When Celia remains complicit Brett covers the girl’s eyes with her hand and gives Severide a nod of her own. “Okay.”

Severide works his magic with the saw as quickly as he can and then they’re pulling Celia up and out of danger. Matt picks up Sylvie’s discarded glove and hands it to her while Celia is loaded onto a backboard.

“I think you might need that,” he tells her with a proud half grin. “You never stop surprising me.”

“That’s a good thing, right?” She asks warily.

He laughs and nods. “A very good thing. Jesus, you’re a badass. Just when I think you can’t get any _more_ badass you go and do something like _this_. You okay?”

“I’m completely frozen and my arms feel like stretched out rubber bands but otherwise...yeah, I’m good,” she replies with a bashful grin. 

“Hey, Brett!” Kidd calls from where she stands next to the gurney. “Let’s get her to Med.”

“Yeah, I’m coming!” She yells back. She turns to Matt and nods toward her patient. “I’ll see you back at the house.”

He nods. “Absolutely. Be careful.”

“Trust me, I’ve had my fill of adrenaline rushes for the day,” she assures him with a slightly wild laugh as she walks away.

He shakes his head and laughs to himself as he gets to work picking up all their ropes and harnesses. Between Shay and Brett, 51 has the best medics in all of Chicago. He has no doubt about that.

******

He did see Brett back at the house but only for a moment. By the time she and Kidd filed paperwork for three patients and made it back to 51, there wasn’t much time left in their shift. She gave him an update on Celia and said she planned to go back and check on her as soon as she finished her report and changed clothes. 

“Are you coming to the luau tonight?” Matt asks as he walks with her toward the bunkroom.

“I was going to but then Cruz told Pete about today’s call and now Pete wants to take me out on an actual dinner date. I have a feeling it’s more to verify that I’m really okay and less about it being a date,” she replies with a light chuckle. “I think Cruz may have embellished the story a bit.”

The story doesn't need any embellishing. In all reality it’s harrowing enough without even the tiniest bit of exaggeration. At least he thinks so. Sylvie would probably disagree.

“He’s gonna pick me up here and go to the hospital with me to check on Celia,” she says. “The luau sounds fun, though. You’ll have to give me a full report afterward.”

“I’ll make sure to keep up with all the drama for you,” he says dryly. “You know I live for it.” He’s never been more sarcastic in his life.

“Hey, this group with an excuse to drink is always entertaining,” she states with a knowing glance in his direction. “You know that’s true.”

“Sadly, I do,” he concedes with a smirk. “Have fun at dinner. You deserve it after today.”

He goes home and changes clothes for his other job. He has construction gigs today. He has two sites to check in on. He got lucky and scored two indoor renovations. Winter work is lean during some years. This year isn’t one of those. He has just enough time to go home and change into something in the spirit of a luau before heading back out to Molly’s.

No sign of Sylvie, but there is a very loud and enthusiastic sign of Shay. She’s downing a kamikaze and wearing a huge stack of leis. Her Hawaian shirt looks to be about two sizes too small and bares her midriff. He laughs as she and Severide pose in one of the photo ops spread out around the bar. His roommates are idiots. Lovable idiots.

Boden’s father makes a beautiful speech that reminds him of the talk he and Shay had earlier that day. He’d said, “United we move forward.” Moving forward is exactly what he needs to do.

In a turn of events he wouldn’t have expected when the night began, he casts a glance down the bar and locks eyes with a stunning brunette. She grins and then demures. He may be rusty but he knows flirting when he sees it. He has Herrmann send her a drink and then waits for her to come to him. 

He wants to move forward and have a little fun. He deserves that, after everything, but he learned a few valuable lessons from accidentally sleeping with someone at his house. It’s important to ask a few key questions first.

She makes her move and they engage in a little small talk and finally he gets to the things he really needs to know.

“So, how’d you hear about the luau?” He asks.

“Um, let’s just say I have a few friends in the CFD.”

“Oh yeah? Anyone I know?”

“Probably,” she answers vaguely. 

Okay. That’s not helpful.

“Sorry, I don’t think I caught your name,” he says as he extends a hand for a shake. “I’m Matt Casey.”

“Beth,” she replies, returning his hand shake. “Beth Pridgen.”

Pridgen. Pridgen? That name sounds familiar. He knows he’s heard it before. He’s filled in at a few other houses and names always stick better in his head than faces. Especially the names of office-- _oh shit._

“As in Chief Pridgen?” He asks, trying to disguise the horror in his voice.

“Don’t worry,” she says with a flirtatious laugh. “The divorce is final tomorrow.”

Oh, hell no. No way. He is not getting in the middle of that. 

Thankfully, Shay must have picked up on his distress. He’s never been more grateful for her freaky powers of perception than he is right now.

“Sorry to interrupt,” Leslie says as she points a fake smile at Beth. “But we have a situation.”

“Oh, right okay,” he turns to Beth and does his best to look apologetic. “Gotta go. It was nice to meet you. Maybe I’ll catch you later.”

“Yeah, later,” Beth says with a determined gleam in her eye.

Normally, he likes a woman that knows what she wants but that determined gleam in her eye isn’t sexy. It’s mildly terrifying.

“Thank you,” he says to Shay as she leads him toward the other side of the bar. “You’re a lifesaver.”

“Well, I am an EMT so…”

He laughs and rolls his eyes at her. “Right, how could I forget.”

“That chick has crazy eyes,” Shay tells him. “I couldn’t let you go home with her. She’d eat you alive.”

“Appreciate it,” he says with a derisive snort.

“So, I thought about what we talked about today,” Shay tells him as she pointedly looks away from him. She’s trying to make this seem casual. But the talk they had earlier that day was anything but. “And I’ve made a decision.”

“Yeah?” He asks curiously.

“I’m gonna be a mom,” she declares confidently. “Sooner rather than later. That’s a promise.”

He smiles warmly at her and clinks his glass against hers. The weird fruity concoction he never drinks sloshes in the glass while the little umbrella tumbles over the side. “To moving forward,” he says.

She clinks her margarita glass against his and repeats his words. “To moving forward.” She gives him a crooked smirk before continuing. “Just not with crazy eyed bar floozies. Women like her are more Kelly’s speed.”

He laughs and shakes his head. “God, I hope not. She’s the wife of a CFD Chief. That’s career suicide.”

“And now we have a new mission,” Shay tells him with a wince. “Keep Sev away from the crazy eyed married woman.” She cranes her neck around the bar to try and spot him. “You go this way,” she says as she points toward the front door. “I’ll go the other way.”

“Copy that!” he replies, grinning in amusement.

Sure, he’s moving forward, but he’s doing at his own pace.

Baby steps.

At least to start.


	31. You Let It Burn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter Pridgen and Welch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** Okay, here we go! I’m so excited for this plot. Omg. Maybe that makes me evil but I don’t even care. I hope you guys like where I’m going with this! 
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“You promised the world and I fell for it._

_I put you first and you adored it._

_Set fires to my forest,_

_And you let it burn.”_

_-”Lose You to Love Me” by Selena Gomez_

******

When Boden’s father passes away unexpectedly, he takes furlough with the full support of the house. Which means they have a new interim chief at 51 and the minute he’s introduced Matt is exceedingly glad he came to his senses and avoided Beth Pridgen two nights ago. Their new temporary chief is Pat Pridgen. 

Shay turns to casually glance in his direction and quirks a brow with a pointed narrowing of her eyes. 

He knows exactly what she’s trying to say.

He dodged one hell of a bullet. 

He’s not at all concerned about Pridgen. He’s only temporary, after all. No, he’s not worried until later that morning...when Tommy Welch walks into Firehouse 51 looking like he’s moving in. 

“What the hell?” Stella asks as he breezes past the Truck crew.

Matt and Kelly exchange concerned glances. This can’t be good.

“What’s the matter, Welch?” Matt asks. “You lost?”

“Nah, I’m good. I caught a relief assignment to Squad 3. Looks like I’ll be working at 51 for a while,” he says, his eyes scanning over Stella and then Sylvie before they come back to look at Matt. He nods and then continues on his way toward the locker room. 

“Did you know about this?” Matt asks Severide as they all watch Welch walk away.

“No,” Kelly says with narrowed eyes. He glances between Welch and Stella before addressing her directly. “Are you gonna be okay with this?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she says with a scoff. “He’s the misogynistic asshole. Not me.”

Kelly scoffs out a chuckle and nods. “Good point.”

“You may be,” Shay says glaring after Welch. “But I’m not. I don’t want sexist douchebags in my house.” She nods to both Casey and Severide. “Come on, we’re talking to Pridgen. Maybe he doesn’t know Welch’s history like we do.”

Turns out Pridgen does know and doesn’t seem to give a shit.

“Welch has paid for his mistake,” he says. “He’s been stripped of his rank and kicked to the floater pool. He was the best qualified floater for the Squad position.”

Shay lifts one eyebrow and keeps the corners of her mouth turned down as she speaks. “There’s more to this than that crash. His reputation for bouncing female candidates and sexual harassment disguised as hazing--”

“Are you a female candidate, Shay? I thought you were a medic? What does that have to do with you?” Pridgen asks. “Not only that, but are you the officer in charge Squad 3?”

Leslie’s jaw clenches but she manages and even tempered answer. “No.”

Pridgen focuses his questioning look on Matt. “You?”

“Lieutenant Severide is in charge of Squad 3.”

“Oh! That’s right!” Pridgen says dramatically. “Lieutenant, do you have any personal conflicts with Welch?”

“Not directly, no,” Severide says honestly. “But I don’t like the guy.”

“Is he a bad firefighter?” 

“I can’t speak to that, but like Shay was saying--”

“Well, I can. He’s a terrific firefighter. He doesn’t suffer fools. Maybe that doesn’t make him pleasant company, but he’s got heart. I’m pinned down in a flashover, I want Tommy Welch coming to get me. Relief assignments are not a popularity contest, so you’d better learn to get along with Welch. Anything else I can help you with?”

Dejected and pissed, they all mutter, “No, Chief.”

“Thanks for hearing us out,” Matt throws in politely despite the fact that he didn’t seem to do much listening.

As they leave the bullpen and head back toward the bunkroom, Kelly advises Matt not to worry about Welch.

“I’ll keep him on a short leash,” he promises.

“I appreciate that, and look if you wanna make him scrape the gunk out of the trench drains on the apparatus floor, who am I to stop you?” Matt jokes.

******

The house has suddenly gotten very tense. Brett wasn’t here for most of what went down with Welch last year. She’s familiar with the accident and the basics of how he treated Stella, that’s more than enough for her. She fully intends to ignore his existence. 

Unfortunately, he doesn’t seem to want to return the favor.

“Hey, uh--Brett, right?” He asks as she passes him in the hallway.

She stops, takes a deep breath, and pastes on a smile. “Yeah, that’s me.”

“Medic on 61? With Shay?” He says, casually taking a sip of his coffee.

She nods. “I am.”

“Wow, 51’s lucky. Two blonde bombshells on Ambo.”

He gives her a long once over and she bites back a scowl.

“You know, I’ve honestly never heard anyone comment on it before,” she replies. “But speaking of the Ambo I should get started on a restock of supplies.”

She nods to dismiss him and moves to leave but he takes one step to his left to block her path.

“Look, you’re new to the department. You probably haven’t heard all the details about Casey and your predecessor, but...can I offer you some advice?” He asks, his eyes squinting like a predator focusing on his prey.

Sylvie may be new but she knows better than to trust any advice he could offer. She doesn’t dignify him with a response. She tries to push past him instead but he steps in her way every time. “What?” She finally asks, just to get him to leave her alone.

“Casey’s got a thing for pretty medics,” Welch warns. “I’d watch yourself if you’re ever alone with him. If you catch my drift.”

This time she doesn’t bother hiding her disgust. “You know, I was really trying to pretend you weren’t here,” she tells him. “I was going to try and politely ignore you, but now...You can’t imply what you just implied about Matt and expect me to--”

“Oh, so he’s _Matt,_ is he?” Welch asks with an insufferable grin. “Maybe my warning came a little too late. Don’t worry, I won’t out you to Pridgen.”

“Stella was right,” Sylvie sneers with a roll of her eyes. “You _are_ a misogynistic asshole. Stay away from me.”

One side of his grin falls as he holds his hand up in surrender and steps to the side, finally allowing her to pass.

“Just trying to look out for you, Brett. Wouldn’t want you to get hurt, that’s all.”

Yeah, right. The day Welch cares about anyone other than himself is the day hell freezes over. She ignores him and continues her path to the apparatus floor. Later, as she’s checking off the inventory in 61, the girl she saved at the warehouse last week shows up. It entirely makes up for her encounter with Welch. 

Which, she realizes, she should probably tell Matt about. He deserves a heads up.

Celia gives her a friendship bracelet as a thank you and accidentally shares some very disturbing things about her family life. They’re probably completely normal things to Celia, but they’re very concerning to Sylvie. Her mom is more worried about Celia losing her guitar than smoking pot laced with PCP? As an empathetic human, Sylvie doesn’t understand that. Not only that, but a person having no mercy for a kid’s mistake seems unfair. Everyone did stupid things as a teenager, it’s how you grow from them that counts.

They get a call at a bowling alley in the middle of her and Celia’s conversation so she never gets to tell Matt about Welch. The scene in the bowling alley is gruesome. A man’s arm is stuck in the pinsetter. She and Casey help Severide out front while Shay and Cruz and Tony head to the back. Capp meets them back there to get the man loose. It gets pretty scary. There’s no blood flow to the man’s arm and Crush Syndrome becomes a risk. Luckily the guys get him out in time so Shay and Brett can get him on the gurney and to the hospital before there’s any lasting damage to the limb. 

On the way back they pass a pawn shop. Leslie is on the phone with someone from the house and trying to tell her a story about Otis falling, but Sylvie’s eye stops on a guitar in the window and her mind wanders to Celia. She pulls over and excuses herself to go check it out. Leslie gives her an odd look, but doesn’t comment.

She arranges to come and pick up the guitar after shift. The rest of the day passes pretty quickly. She and Shay stay busy on Ambo. They only have time to catch up on house gossip. Otis fell at the bowling alley and their new interim chief is giving him hell for it. According to Herrmann, Matt seemed pretty irked by it. Otis spent the rest of shift sulking. Sylvie couldn’t blame him. She couldn’t imagine Boden acting like such a bully over a simple mistake. 

Sylvie pats his shoulder consolingly as she passes him to get to Matt.

“Hey, can we talk?” She asks, glancing quickly around the room for Welch. 

Casey’s eyebrows shoot up curiously but he nods. She points to the back kitchen door that leads outside and he follows her lead. Once outside, his curiosity turns to look at her in concern.

“Everything okay?” Matt asks. 

She bites her bottom lip and tilts her head with an uncertain expression. “I’m not entirely sure. Welch said something to me earlier that I think you need to know about.”

Matt’s eyes darken and his jaw sets. Anger flares through his expression and body language. “What was it?”

“I’ll tell you, but before I do...you can’t go back in there and go off on him, Casey,” she warns him. How is he this angry without knowing what was said? “I need you to promise.”

“That’s gonna depend on what he said, Sylvie,” he says, crossing his arms over his chest.

She sighs tiredly. “Matt, I’m not going to tell you if you’re going to go back in there and confront him. Particularly because it might make this specific situation _worse_.”

That causes a wrinkle to form between his brows. “What does _that_ mean?”

“First, promise me that you won’t retaliate and then I’ll tell you,” she insists.

He huffs but eventually nods. “Fine. It stays between us.”

She takes a deep breath and tries not to make any assumptions about Matt’s reaction. “He tried to _warn me_ about you.” She puts finger quotes around the word ‘warn’. “He said you have a...thing for pretty medics and to watch myself when you and I were alone -- because he wouldn’t want to see me get hurt.” She rolls her eyes after she finishes her last sentence. That wasn’t why. Welch wanted to hurt Matt. She knew that was the _real_ reason.

Matt’s expression turns livid. “Bastard. What the fuck? He really said that to you? Are you okay?”

“Me?” She asks him in amazement. “Matt, it’s your reputation he’s after. I’m more worried about _you_ than me.”

He shrugs to dismiss her concern. “I can handle Welch.” There’s a pause and then she sees doubt cross his face as he refocuses on her. “You know none of that is true, right? That I don’t go around sleeping with all the attractive paramedics--I mean I know we got off to a strange start but--”

She cuts him off with a chuckle. “Relax, Matt. I know you better than that. Everything Welch said was bullshit. I knew that from the minute he opened his mouth. I just thought you should know he’s trying to undermine you, is all.”

“When is Welch _not_ trying to undermine me?” Matt asks her dryly. “Every time I think he’s gone he crawls his way back in. Like a cockroach.”

“Just be careful,” she advises. “And maybe you and I should keep a little distance around the house.”

“I’m not worried about what Welch thinks, Brett,” he replies, meeting her eyes confidently. “Neither one of us have done anything wrong.”

“Matt, you know I think of you as one of my closest friends, but we both know which one of us would bear the brunt of the damage if Welch just happens to figure out something happened between us. Here’s a hint: it wouldn’t be you,” she reminds him. “I’m not saying we pretend to be strangers or anything, I’m just saying maybe we don’t get spotted all alone and maybe I stay away from your quarters. Just until Boden is back and Welch gets bounced.”

The determination in Matt’s eyes wanes while she speaks. He gives her a resigned glance and nods. “Okay, that’s fair. You’re completely right. We’ll handle this your way.”

“Thank you,” she says with a fond smile. “I knew you’d come around.”

He chuckles and rolls his eyes at her. “Yeah, yeah, that won’t always be the case. Don’t get used to it.”

They head back inside and both manage to avoid Welch for the rest of their shift. Brett changes out and heads to the pawn shop. Pete meets her at her place afterward. The sink is acting up again and Pete’s determined he can fix it. This is the third time he’s tried and each time it works for a few days before messing up again. She’s tempted to call Matt but something tells her Pete wouldn’t like that very much.

Sylvie focuses on cleaning up the guitar. She wants it to look as beautiful as possible for Celia. Poor kid deserves something nice given what her homelife seems to be like. Sylvie and her mom went through a rough patch like that and having third party support helped her. Maybe she could do the same for Celia. 

She’s regaling Pete with the story behind the guitar as he fixes the sink when Stella storms in with a growl of frustration.

“Everything okay, Kidd?” Peter asks as he comes out from under the sink.

“Grant won’t talk about the separation and a possible divorce or even let me get the rest of my stuff unless I agree to move back in with him,” she says as she plops down in one of the kitchen table chairs. “And what’s worse is that part of me _wants_ to.”

“No. Stella, absolutely not,” Sylvie tells her with a scolding point of her finger. 

“He says he needs me and I know him, Sylvie. He can’t take care of himself. What if I leave him and something terrible happens?” Stella asks her.

“What if you stay and something terrible happens?” Sylvie fires back. “Would you being there really change anything?”

She sighs and slumps further down in her chair. “No.”

“Look, I know it’s hard. There’s a lot of history there, but distance is exactly what you need. I never saw my relationship with Harrison for what it really was until we broke up,” she advises. “Space will bring you clarity. Just keep remembering that.”

“Fine, but can I work on clarity while I distract myself with alcohol and dancing?” Stella asks. “And can the two of you also volunteer to be my wing people? I don’t wanna go alone. I might end up at Grant’s if I go alone.”

Pete stands and wipes his hands on his jeans. “Hell yes, we’ll go with you,” he agrees. “I’m almost done with the sink and then I’ll go home and change before coming back to pick you ladies up. Dinner, drinks, and dancing sounds like a good time to me.”

Sylvie beams at him. “You’d go dancing with us?” 

He drops a kiss to her forehead before diving back into the cabinet under the sink. “You haven’t gone dancing until you’ve gone dancing with me, Sylvie Brett.”

She bites her bottom lip to hold her goofy grin at bay. When she left Fowlerton this is the life she imagined. Working a job she loved, finding friends who truly cared, and a guy to go on adventures with. Harrison had never been the type to go dancing. He preferred to stay home. Sylvie wanted to try new things and meet new people -- turns out so does Pete. Each and every day he proves himself to be more and more amazing.

“In that case,” Sylvie says as she turns to Stella with a beaming smile. “We’ll be happy to go with you.”

“Perfect!” Stella says with a fist pump. “If at any point, I start to drunk dial Grant then confiscate my phone, please. I give you complete authorization to save me from myself.”

“I’d do that with or without your authorization,” Sylvie assures her. “I’ve got your back, Stella Kidd.”


	32. And Yet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Complications arise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** Told myself I wasn’t going to post this weekend but I am SO EXCITED about this plot line that I can’t help myself lol. 
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“My eyes adored you,_

_Though I never laid a hand on you,_

_My eyes adored you._

_Like a million miles away,_

_From me you couldn't see,_

_How I adored you._

_So close, so close,_

_And yet so far away.”_

_-”My Eyes Adored You” by The Four Season_

******

The next morning, Pete wakes her up unreasonably early. They were out very late the night before. Sylvie guzzled down as much water as she did alcohol while they went out to various clubs in order to avoid a hangover. She was very grateful she had, especially after being woken up by her boyfriend at 6 AM on a Sunday.

“Sorry,” he says as she grumbles and yawns. “Didn’t want you to wake up and wonder where I went. I have breakfast with my mom and sister before church.”

Sylvie smiles softly at him with questioning eyes. “Church?”

He shrugs as he sits on the edge of the bed and pulls on his pants. “I go every other Sunday to avoid being lectured about never going.”

Sylvie chuckles and wraps her arms around him from behind. She rests her chin on his shoulder before placing a quick to his jaw. “That’s sweet, and sounds like a pretty fair trade.”

“You should come with me next time,” he says, trying to sound breezy. “My family has been bugging me about when they get to meet you.”

She’s touched that they ask about her and that he would want her to meet them. “Well, you did go dancing with me last night. I owe you an outing.”

He chuckles and stands, scooping up his shirt. “You do.”

“I would love to go with you next time,” she agrees. “Let’s just make sure we don’t go out clubbing the night before.”

He leans down toward the bed and kisses her quickly. “Deal. I’ve gotta run, but I’ll call you later. Okay?”

She nods. “Okay. Have fun.”

She goes back to sleep after he leaves until a yelp sounds from the kitchen. She races out of bed, pulls on a robe and slippers, and runs to investigate. She finds Stella with her sleep tank drenched and the sink sprayer in her hand. 

“Sylvie, we are calling an actual plumber or I’m raising hell with the landlord,” Stella says through clenched teeth. 

She bites back a laugh at Stella’s expense. “Please don’t raise hell with the landlord. I don’t want to be evicted. We can’t afford a plumber. I’ll call Pete later.”

“Babe,” Stella starts as she grabs a kitchen towel and tries to dry off. “I love you and Mills dearly but this is the third time he’s tried to fix the sink and he’s only made it worse every time.”

Sylvie chews on her bottom lip for a moment before reluctantly nodding. Objectively, Stella’s right. She’d never tell Pete that, though. She wouldn’t want to hurt his feelings. 

“Okay,” she says. “I won’t call Pete.” Her eyes fall to her record player and the floating shelves Matt helped her rig up. “Oh! I’ll call Matt!” She narrows her eyes on Stella. “But we do not mention a word of this to Pete. It’s our secret, clear?”

“As long as the sink’s fixed then I’ll keep whatever secret you want,” Stella promises.

Sylvie showers and changes clothes, runs to the nearest store for a six pack of Matt’s favorite beer, and then calls him when she gets back home. He agrees to take a look and tells her he’ll be right there. He arrives a half hour later and Sylvie sits at the kitchen table while he lays down with his head in the cabinet, to get a better look at the plumbing. It’s very reminiscent of the night before only with Matt in place of Pete.

Speaking of…

She nervously clears her throat. “So, thank you for coming over. I appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome. Anytime. I wouldn’t want Kidd to get you kicked out on the street for telling off your landlord.”

“Ugh, please, don’t even joke about that,” Sylvie replies with a chuckle. “Pete’s tried to fix it a few times, but he seems to just move the problem to a different part of the sink.”

Matt laughs. “Hey, at least he tries.”

“I know you’re in the middle of doing me a favor already but I need to ask for another one,” she says sheepishly. 

“What’s that?” He asks as he blindly reaches for the wrench laying next to him.

“Don’t tell Pete you were here?” She asks. “I don’t want to hurt his manly pride or whatever.”

Matt laughs again and presses his chin to his chest so he can look at her. “You want me to let him take credit for my handiwork to help him save face?”

She gives him a beguiling smile and wide pleading eyes. “If you don’t mind? Please?”

He rolls his eyes but chuckles at her. “Fine. I won’t go around bragging about how I managed an easy fix when he couldn’t. Your boyfriend’s — what did you call it? — _manly pride_ is safe.”

“You are the best, Matt Casey, and absolutely worthy of the six pack of beer I bought you as a thank you.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” he says as he stands and wipes his hands on a nearby towel.

“Yes, I did. You’re off shift and it’s a Sunday. You didn’t have to come and you did. I appreciate that,” she insists. “The least I can do is pay you with beer.”

“Let’s make sure I fixed it before you pay me,” he says with an amused grin. He reaches for the sprayer and both of them wince as squeezes.

There’s a brief sputtering as the air that built up while the water was shut off forces its way out and then…

The water easily sprays out of the head with even pressure. Perfect.

“Oh my god. Do you have any idea how much of a headache you just saved me?” Sylvie asks with a brief excited hug. She pulls out of the hug quickly before Matt even manages to react and sets his well earned six pack on the kitchen table. “Your reward, good sir.”

He shakes his head at her but smiles the entire time. “Just curious, you weren’t drinking _before_ I got here were you?”

She smacks his shoulder, playfully. “No! It’s Sunday morning! What kind of lush do you think I am?”

******

Things are officially becoming confusing. Well, for Matt. Maybe not for _her_.

After the irrational level anger he felt toward Welch last shift when he found out how he spoke to Sylvie, Matt’s first concern was making sure Sylvie knew he wasn’t the kind of guy Welch was making him out to be. He wasn’t sure why he was so concerned about that at first, but then while they were off Sylvie called and he didn’t hesitate to answer. He left for her place as soon as they got off the phone. 

Afterward, she hugged him. He was so shocked he couldn’t think or move. But he liked it. He liked it _too much_. 

Jesus, he really needs to get a grip.

This is simply because Sylvie was the first person he’d slept with after Gabby. Now that he’s ready to move on it’s only natural that his feelings would lead him to her, but that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea for either of them. Sylvie is happy with Mills. Besides, even if she weren’t he wouldn’t want her to be a rebound. She deserves so much more than that — especially from him. Considering the last time he’d made a move on her (granted he was drunk) had ended with him almost losing her as a friend, he’s determined not to make that mistake again.

Sylvie Brett is off limits and his heart (and other organs if he’s honest) is going to have to accept that fact. Maybe the best way to do that is to go on a date with someone else. He needs an _actual_ rebound.

Part of the problem is that he’s been willfully ignoring his attraction to Brett for a few weeks now, and since becoming aware of it all he can do is dwell. He may be ready to move on but he’s not ready for the kind of relationship Sylvie deserves. He’s still testing the waters while she’s jumped all the way in with someone else. 

The timing of his realization fucking sucks. He would have preferred to remain ignorant of his attraction unless the conditions were right to actually _do something_. But no such luck for Matt Casey. No luck at all for him ever, really. Good or bad.

“You’re quiet,” Severide tells him over breakfast in the common room next shift. “In fact, you’ve _been_ quiet since getting back from Brett’s yesterday. Everything okay?”

Like he’s ever going to voice any of these thoughts aloud to anyone. Not even Severide. “Yeah. Fine. Just thinking it’s time to put myself back out there.”

Severide’s eyebrows lift nearly to his hairline. “Good for you, man! I think that’s a great idea.”

Sylvie walks in, looking much less chipper than when he saw her yesterday. His gaze and his concern follow her as she sits down in between Kidd and Shay. 

“We should do a bar crawl this Friday,” Kelly suggests. “Throw you back into the deep end.”

Anxiety. Instant anxiety. “The deep end?”

“Well, you gotta meet someone somewhere, right?” Severide asks with a smirk. 

It’s then that he remembers dating means actually going on dates. _First_ dates. They’re the _worst_. He never really had to experience that with Gabby. They already knew each other and they ran headfirst into a relationship — no awkward dating phase. The last time he’d regularly dated was before Hallie. A _long_ time ago.

“Yeah, I guess that’s true,” he agrees hesitantly. “Okay, this weekend. Bar crawl.”

They get an easy call. Fender bender. They get it cleaned up and 61 runs a patient to Med. He, Brett, Shay, and Severide are stuck on reports for a while when they get back. It takes Brett walking by 81 on her way to 61 for Matt to finally find a moment to ask her why she seems disheartened. He hops down from the truck cab and warily glances around the apparatus floor. Sylvie was right, with Welch lurking around they can’t be too careful. He doesn’t see anyone else nearby so he catches up to her as she reaches the Ambo.

“Hey,” he says with a small smile.

She glances around just as he did and smiles weakly back. “Hey.”

“You okay?” He asks.

She sighs and leans against the side of the Ambo. “Not really. You know that girl we saved who had the rebar stuck in her ribs?”

“The kid who smoked pot laced with PCP that you practically jumped in a pit to save?” He asks with a smirk. “Yeah, I remember.”

She blushes at the recap and Matt tries not to stare. Being alone with her is not helping him fight off his attraction. This is going to be a lot harder than he thought.

“Well, I tried to do a nice thing for her. She lost her guitar while she was high out of her mind and I found a good deal on another one. So I bought it and cleaned it up but when I took it by her place to give it to her, her mom wouldn’t let her keep it. And I may have unintentionally offended her.” Sylvie winces and then shakes her head at herself. “I just wanted to help but I think I made things worse.”

Matt thought of his mother trying to take care of him and Christy after his parents divorced. His mother wouldn’t have been very receptive to someone else butting into their lives either — no matter how helpful they intended to be.

“Probably just a case of wounded pride,” Matt says, trying to be kind. “She’s a single parent. She probably gets a lot of unprompted criticism. Not that you meant to criticise but she might have—“

“Taken it that way,” Sylvie finishes for him. “Yeah, that makes sense.” She bites her bottom lip and his eyes drift to it before he can stop himself. 

He immediately looks anywhere but at her after that.

“I’ve just...I’ve been the kid with the distant mother before and I don’t want that for Celia. I had someone to help me. She doesn’t. And I thought—Nevermind, it was stupid.”

“You thought you could be there for her?” Casey asks knowingly. “That’s not stupid, Sylvie. It means you’re a good person.” He backtracks to the first part of her statement. “What do you mean you’ve been the kid with the distant mother?”

“When I was a kid my mother...well, she sort of had a nervous breakdown and it took a long time for her to recover. For a while after that she just wasn’t _present_. It was hard for a while, but my aunt stepped in. She stood in for mom as long as she needed to and I don’t know that either me or mom would have made it through that without her,” Sylvie confesses quietly. “I guess I was just hoping to pay it forward, you know?”

“You still can,” Matt encourages, touched that she felt comfortable telling him something so personal. “Maybe just...in a less intrusive way. You’ll think of something. I know you will.”

“Thank you, Matt,” Sylvie says with a grateful smile. “But enough about me. How are _you_?”

“Uh, well...Severide wants to go on a bar crawl this weekend to ‘throw me into the deep end’ he says,” Matt tells her with an anxious breath. “When I said I might want to try dating again, I conveniently forgot that meant actually going on dates. Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve been on a date? I mean, what if I fuck it up?”

Sylvie chuckles and squeezes his shoulder. “You’re not gonna mess it up.”

“How do you know that?” He asks, genuinely curious.

“Because right now, you’re overthinking it. That guy I met at Molly’s that first night didn’t overthink it and—“ She pauses to lower her voice as if sharing a secret — “Take it from the girl who went home with you, you did really well. Just be more like that guy and less like this panicking nervous guy standing in front of me.”

He snorts derisively and grins at her. “Easier said than done.”

“Think of it like a challenge. From what I remember you seemed to _enjoy_ a challenge.” 

He glances up at her then, finding a light teasing twinkle in her eyes. He could be mistaken but this feels a little bit like flirting. Is it flirting? It can’t be. Can it?

He doubts he’ll ever find out because at precisely that moment Tommy Welch walks by them with a pointed knowing look. Sylvie somehow, despite her fair complexion, pales to a ghostly shade of white. They both freeze in place. Matt glares at Welch as he passes while simultaneously feeling completely terrified.

Once the doors to the house close behind him, Matt curses. “Fuck.”

“Oh god, he heard us, didn’t he?” Sylvie asks with wide alarmed eyes. “Shit, and _I’m_ the one who told _you_ to be careful the other day. So stupid!”

“Hey, stop,” he says as he takes a deep breath and tries to gather his wits. “We don’t know what he heard. You did lower your voice.”

“Yeah, but this place echoes,” Sylvie argues. “I am such an idiot. I’m so sorry, Matt. I know Welch has been looking for dirt on you for a long time and now thanks to me—“

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Sylvie. What happened between us is our business and no one else's. The only person who should be sorry is Tommy Welch in the event he decides to be a bastard about this,” he assures her. “I’ll keep an eye on him and an ear to the ground. Maybe I can talk to him.”

“No,” Sylvie says as she squares her shoulders and glares at the doors. “He hates you. If you talk to him then he’ll know he can use it against you. I’ll do it. Maybe he’ll actually listen to me. It’s a long shot, I know. But it’s all we’ve got.”

Matt’s overprotective instincts roar to life in his chest. Goddamn, he hates this. “No, after the last time he talked to you—“

“I know how to handle pigheaded assholes, Matt. I dated one for _years_ , remember?” The hand on her hip and the no-nonsense look on her face tell him arguing is futile.

He lets out a resigned sigh and nods. “Fine, but I expect you to tell me exactly what happened afterward. If he tries anything then I want to know.”

She nods and then squeezes his arm in reassurance. “I promise.”


	33. Hesitate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mills finds out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** Let me just say, you guys are AWESOME. You lift my spirits at just the right time and I really hope this fic does the same to you. Today has been a rough day for me. I’ve spent most of it sad, tired, and angry, but for the rest of the night I want to focus on the positive. And you know what that is? ALL OF YOU and this story and how I feel when I’m writing. So here’s a chapter.
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“I will take your pain,_

_And put it on my heart._

_I won't hesitate,_

_Just tell me where to start._

_I thank the oceans for giving me you._

_You saved me once and now I'll save you too._

_I won't hesitate for you.”_

_-“Hesitate” by Jonas Brothers_

******

Matt paces in his quarters after he and Sylvie part ways. Sylvie goes to find Welch and makes Matt sequester himself so he can’t interrupt. Severide knocks on his door jamb and Matt looks up expectantly.

“What’s up with you?” Severide asks with a furrowed brow.

Matt leans closer to Kelly and speaks quietly. “Welch knows about Sylvie and me.”

“Oh, shit,” he curses. “About how the two of you met?”

“Yeah, sort of,” Matt says with a groan. “He overheard us talking. From what I know we said, it wouldn’t take a genius to put two and two together. Sylvie’s gone to talk to him now. Hopefully, she can keep him from doing anything with what he knows or else…”

“Or else he could ruin yours _and_ Sylvie’s reputations,” Kelly finished for him. “What an asshole.”

Sylvie bursts into the bunkroom and stomps toward the locker room. Both Kelly and Matt turn to look as she noisily moves through the room.

“Well,” Matt says with a tired sigh. “That can’t be good.”

“Good or not, you’re not punching Tommy Welch,” Severide orders. “Without Boden here Pridgen will bounce your ass. We both know it.”

Matt huffs but nods his agreement. “Fine. Unless he’s touched even a single hair on her head and then all bets are off.”

“Fair enough. In that case, I’ll even help,” Severide concurs.

They leave his quarters and head for the locker room. They find Sylvie sitting on the bench in front of her locker looking shellshocked with worry.

“Brett?” Severide asks. “Everything okay?”

“No,” she says in a clipped tone. “By the time I found Welch, he’d already phoned his old buddies at 105. He says he’ll try and contain it to his old house, but we all know it’s too late. The cat’s out of the bag, and I’m going to end up collateral damage in a war of male egos. Exactly what I didn’t want.”

“I’m surprised he agreed to contain it in the first place,” Matt says in surprise.

“Me too,” she says with a bitter chuckle. “He claimed he didn’t think about how it would affect me. Which isn’t surprising at all for a misogynistic ass so I’m tempted to believe him.”

She suddenly sits up ramrod straight and both Matt and Kelly watch a slow look of horror overtake her face.

“Oh no,” Sylvie says as she frantically fumbles to get her phone out of her pocket. “No, no, _no!_ ”

“What?” Matt asks as he sits down next to her and places a hand on her back.

“Pete’s at 105!” She shouts. “If Welch spread it around 105– _shit_.” She stands and points to her phone. “Sorry, I should—“

Matt waves her toward the exit encouragingly. “Yeah, of course. Go.”

They watch her and walk away in silence. Once she’s gone, Matt can’t hold back his thoughts any longer. 

“She’s in this mess because Welch is out to get _me_. She’s right. She’s collateral damage. She doesn’t fucking deserve that,” Matt says angrily as he kicks his own locker.

“Alright,” Severide says with a tense tick of his jaw. “ _Maybe_ I’ll let you punch him.”

Matt shakes his head. “No, you were right. That's exactly what he wants. I’m not giving him the satisfaction. We just have to get through this so Boden can get Welch the hell out of here since Pridgen doesn’t give a shit. He seems to care more about bullying my guys than doing his job. _Dick._ ”

“We’ll all keep an eye on Sylvie, Case,” Severide assures him. “She’ll be fine. We’ll make sure.”

“I hope so,” Matt replies.

Casey tries to go on with his day, but it’s extremely difficult to focus on work while watching Brett worry over Pete. This whole situation is his fault. Welch is out for his blood and Sylvie just happens to be the tool he’s using to do it. Having to work in the same house as that asshole isn’t helping anything either. They trade looks in the common room while Pridgen unloads about his soon to be ex-wife to the entire house. 

Matt’s so aggravated that he can’t stand to hear any more of it. Pat Pridgen is a bully and Casey is certain his wife left him for good reason. Though, he supposes for the sake of professionalism he could have kept his thoughts on that to himself. His sarcastic comment about Beth Pridgen leaving the man who picks fights everywhere he goes probably wasn’t his most shining moment.

But he’s suddenly found his home a victim to not just one but two vindictive assholes and they’re hurting people he cares about. He’s had _enough_.

Pridgen calls Severide into his office later and Matt has no doubt it’s about him. Kelly called it. Pridgen would like nothing more than to bounce his ass if only because Matt’s made it clear he doesn’t like the way their interim chief treats the guys on Truck. 

They get a call. A residential fire that’s a full blaze. When they arrive on the scene, Severide starts to make the call for Squad to do the primary search but Pridgen stops him. Leaves the search and venting to Truck. Matt and Kelly share a look. They see this for what it is. Pridgen is putting all the responsibility on Matt so if there’s any screw ups, Casey takes the fall. 

Pat Pridgen underestimates him and he’s about to figure that out.

Matt takes Kidd, Herrmann, and Otis inside with him and sends Cruz and Mouch to vent the roof. He can admit to himself that he chooses Otis deliberately. Otis is a capable firefighter and it’s time their new chief gets to see that for himself. They all ignore Pridgen's last minute shout of, “Watch your step, Gutter Ball!”

God, he misses Boden. This guy is fucking prick.

Matt sends Otis and Kidd to search the first floor and he and Herrmann take the upstairs. He listens over the radio as Kidd and Otis each make saves and Otis comes back inside with the hose to douse the fire. The next thing he registers is a Mayday call. Otis is trapped. The hose ended up under the door and blocked him in after it was charged. 

Matt and Herrmann finish up their search and head downstairs just as Severide and Squad are pulling Otis down the front stoop. He’s fine. He inhaled a lot of smoke, but otherwise he’s good. The smirk on Pridgen’s face causes Casey’s fists to clench.

This is not the time to gloat. A member of his crew could have been seriously hurt.

They finish up the call and head back to the house. The ride back is full of tense silence. Otis knows he messed up. They all do, and they all know Pridgen won’t let it go unnoticed or pull Otis aside to talk about it privately. No, he’s going to try and embarrass the hell out of him. 

When they step out of the rigs, they’re all anticipating it. With everything that’s happened today Casey’s restraint is pulled tight, coiled like a spring. Eventually, the tension is going to snap.

“Folks, I think we all learned a lesson here today about why we don’t freelance,” Pridgen proclaims before focusing his smarmy gaze on Otis. “Isn’t that right, Gutter Ball?”

The tension was always going to snap…

So why not now?

“Don’t talk to my guy like that,” Matt sneers. He’s had it with this guy. He’s a disrespectful asshole. 

“What did you say?” Pridgen asks as if he can’t believe what he’s hearing.

“He made a great save today. That old man would be dead if not for him,” Casey replies. Ignoring the warning in Pat Pridgen’s stare. “And if he got a little too eager out there, it’s only because he was trying to prove himself to _you_.” 

“I don’t like your tone, Lieutenant.”

Honestly, he’s beyond caring at this point. “I don’t like yours. Otis and everyone else here at 51, they’ve already proven themselves. You oughtta treat ‘em with respect… _Chief_.”

He can feel the support behind him. Everyone at 51 is watching this exchange and the silent agreement must be driving Pridgen insane.

“I want you in my office in five minutes, Lieutenant!” He yells as he storms off. “You too, Severide!”

The quiet is almost eerie and Matt refuses to meet anyone’s eyes. He doesn’t want to know whether or not they think he’s insane. As far as he’s concerned, he did what he had to do to look out for his guys and he’d do it again in a heartbeat.

“That was really stupid of you,” Otis says. Matt turns around to face him, meeting his eyes. “But thanks.”

He pats Otis on the shoulder and then walks off toward the Chief’s office with Severide trailing behind.

“You’re an idiot,” Severide tells him, contradicting the proud grin on his face.

“Better an idiot than a tyrant,” Casey replies. He shrugs in an effort to look careless but he’s anything but _careless_. Earlier that year he’d told himself his career was all he had. A part of him still believes that and worries he just blew it all to hell.

Pridgen blesses them both out, which is baffling because Severide didn’t say a word out on the apparatus floor and was barely involved in the fire they just came from, and belatedly criticizes Severide for defying an order at the bowling alley call -- an act he praised him for initially. Their temporary chief proves himself to be a power hungry bastard and nothing more. They should have known it all along. 

Casey plays contrite and apologetic to save both of their careers. He says he’s sure they can all learn to live together until Boden gets back. 

And then Pridgen says something that genuinely worries Matt. 

“I wouldn’t assume anything. We don’t know how much time Chief Boden needs or if the department’s even gonna have him back here to 51.”

Bullshit. This is Boden’s house and _no one_ is taking that from him. 

But what happens to all of them if they do? Could they truly be stuck with this asshat for the foreseeable future?

He assigns Truck 81 and Squad 3 to wash all the exterior windows in 15 degree weather as a punishment. It’s inhumane and Casey reacts with obvious surprise. He shouldn’t have. It completely jives with everything they’ve seen of Chief Pridgen so far. He doesn’t specify that all their men have to go out and work on it so after leaving his office, Casey and Severide decide since they’re the ones who pissed off Pridgen it’s only right that _they_ suffer the consequences and no one else.

“Bundle up,” Severide says with a shake of his head. “We’re gonna freeze our asses off.”

He’s right. That’s exactly what they do.

******

Despite this horror show of a day, her conversation with Matt earlier gave Sylvie an idea of how to be there for Celia without overstepping her bounds. She texts Celia and invites her to the house. She tells her the guitar will be waiting at 51 for her anytime she needs it. This way Celia gets out of the house and away from her mom when she needs to and she gets to enjoy her guitar. Sylvie can stay up to date on what’s going on in the kid’s life and offer a hand up when appropriate. It works for both of them and has the added bonus of not wounding Celia’s mom’s ego.

Celia doesn’t hang around long once shift is over, and Sylvie’s glad for that. Normally, she’d stay and hang out and chat but she still hasn’t gotten a hold of Pete since Welch blabbed her secret to all of 105.

Pete hasn’t answered any of her phone calls. She called him three times before the end of shift and each time the phone barely rang before she was sent to voicemail. He declined her calls. There is no situation where that can be interpreted as good.

After shift, she heads home. She plans to drink a bottle of wine and leave Pete drunk voicemails until he picks up.

She never gets to do that…

Because he’s standing on her front stoop when she gets to the apartment. His face is entirely too blank for her liking. 

“Pete, I—“

He shakes his head and nods toward her front door. “Let’s go inside first.”

“Sure, or course,” she agrees nervously, nearly dropping her keys as she walks past him toward the door. 

Neither of them say a word as she turns the key in the lock and lets him inside. 

“Would you like something to drink or—“

“No, I’m good,” he tells her while she shuts and locks the door behind her. “Thank you, though.”

She gulps and decides to just jump in. No use putting it off. She hates the tension between them and the sooner they address it then the sooner it goes away. 

“I don’t know what the guys at 105 told you—“

“That Lieutenant Matt Casey is sleeping with the hot blonde new girl on 61. Basically. And that Welch caught you both in the act.”

She scowls and feels her stomach lurch. She isn’t sure if that’s what Welch actually said or if the 105 telephone game turned it into that along the way. It doesn’t really matter. It’s the story that’s out there regardless of how it got out there.

“He didn’t—catch us in the act, I mean.”

“I figured,” Mills replies. “Where did that rumor even come from?”

This is the moment. She could play it off like Welch made it all up to get back at Casey. _Or_ …

She could tell Pete the whole truth.

Damn her and her need for honesty.

“Well, Welch did over hear _something_ but it wasn’t _that_.” She bites her bottom lip and gestures to the couch. “Maybe we should sit down? Take off our coats?”

Peter shakes his head. “No, I’m good. And you’re stalling.”

Sylvie sighs and nods. “The night before I started at 51 I ended up at Molly’s. It was late. Too late for me to have been out considering I had shift the next day, but I couldn’t sleep. I was anxious. Anyway, by pure chance, I ended up sitting at the bar next to Casey. We commiserated. He was still in a bad place over Gabby and I was trying to turn things around after Harrison. Those first few weeks in Chicago were really lonely, you know?”

She pauses to try and gauge Mills’ reaction so far. His usually warm brown eyes tell her nothing. She hates this. She hates all of this. She continues, crossing her arms over her chest protectively.

“We didn’t ask for anything other than first names and then I...well, I went home with him. And we—we slept together.”

She hears him suck in a sharp breath, and rushes to finish. “But it was always going to be just the one time! We agreed to that before we left Molly’s and then I showed up at 51 in the morning and nearly died from embarrassment. I had no idea he was a Lieutenant with the CFD and I was worried if anyone else found out it would hurt my reputation! So, we agreed to keep it between us. As far as we were concerned, that night never happened.”

He shakes his head and turns away from her. She stares at his back with bated breath. 

Finally, he speaks. “But it did happen, Sylvie. You and Casey, you—“ He cuts himself off with a bitter chuckle. “Jesus, I can’t believe this is happening to me _again_.”

She puts a pin in that _again_ comment and tries to focus on explaining herself further. “Casey and I are just friends, Pete. With the exception of one night before I really even knew him, that’s all we’ve ever been. There is no chance I would ever cheat on you. _None_.”

He faces her again and, despite his tired eyes, he smiles kindly at her. Hope flares in her chest.

“I know that, Sylvie,” he replies. “I’ve never once suspected that.”

“Then why do you look so...I don’t know. Betrayed?” She asks, worriedly.

He sighs. “I’ve been the guy someone settles for when they can’t have Casey once before. I’m not doing that again.”

And now she understands the _again_ quip. He’d told her about dating Gabby, but he didn’t tell her that Casey got in the way of that relationship. In fact, he’d made it sound like he’d broken up with her over something unimportant. Apparently, it was because of Casey?

Why did that feel like a slap to the face? It _hurt_ to think that he thought…

“That is _not_ what I’m doing,” Sylvie insists. She’s not Gabby. It’s unfair to assume that Sylvie’s doing exactly what _she_ did. “Dating you has absolutely nothing to do with Casey. I told you. We’re _friends_.”

“Not just friends,” Mills corrects her. “You’re _best_ friends, Sylvie. You’re as close to him as you are to me or Shay.”

“So?” She asks with a furrowed brow. Panic is clawing at her chest. Is he going to ask her to choose? He _can’t_ ask her to choose! She won’t! Matt’s lost enough this year and she cannot abandon him. Not even for Pete.

“Have you considered that you might have feelings for him and be unaware of it?” He asks carefully as if he’s afraid of the answer.

She laughs, almost deliriously. This is _ridiculous_. “You can’t be serious? No, I haven’t! Because I _don’t_ and I know I don’t! I am in a relationship _with you_ , not Matt. What happened with Matt was _months_ ago before I ever knew you. I can’t believe I’m having to explain this let alone justify my friendship with Casey. So I slept with him before you. Big deal! I slept with Harrison too and I don’t see you acting unreasonably jealous of him! I am not Gabby. I mean, clearly. With the way you all talk about her I can only assume she was some sort of firefighting paramedic superhero which will _never_ be me. And since that will never be me, I resent the assumption that I must also be pining away for Casey while dating _you_. I am my own person and I have my own motives. Don’t punish me because of something _she_ did!”

That seems to break through. She sees guilt and remorse flash across his eyes. He opens his mouth to speak just as the lock on the front door jiggles and the sound of keys fills the air. The door swings open, revealing Stella, who grimaces at the tense vibe permeating the apartment.

“Oh damn, did he find out Matt was the one who _actually_ fixed the sink?” She asks, holding up her hands in a gesture of innocence. “I swear I didn’t tell him!”

Sylvie closes her eyes and blows out a tired breath. She thought maybe he was coming around, but that little bit of news couldn’t have been revealed at a worse time.

Pete snorts with a derisive laugh. “No, I did not know that, but doesn’t that figure?”

“Pete—“

“No, Sylvie, I can’t keep talking about this. Not right now. I need time,” he says with a thick swallow. “I’ll call you, okay?”

“You really will?” She asks skeptically.

He nods. “I don’t know, right now, what I’ll say when I’m ready to talk but I _will_ call you. I promise.”

She nods, somehow managing not to drop to her knees and beg him to stay. “Okay. Take all the time you need.”

He walks in between her and Stella and out the door at a brisk pace, slamming it behind him. She doesn’t know who he’s angriest with: her, Matt, or Welch. She can’t say she ever wants to find out.

“Trouble in paradise?” Stella asks in concern.

“I need a drink,” Sylvie replies.

“I’ve got vodka, tequila, and whiskey,” Kidd answers immediately. “Pick your poison.”

Thank God for her roommate.


	34. All I've Ever Been

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pete makes a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** So, I reached 1000 comments today! And I finished chapter 35! As a celebration and a thank you I wanted to post a chapter for you guys! Thank you so much for being invested in this version of events! I’m so happy you’re all still enjoying it! 
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“No, you don't know the one,_

_Who dreams of you each night,_

_And longs to kiss your lips,_

_And longs to hold you tight._

_To you I'm just a friend,_

_That's all I've ever been,_

_No, you don't know me.”_

_-“You Don’t Know Me” by Ray Charles_

******

Shay is getting ready to head over to Molly’s a little early for Herrmann’s mandatory weekly “investors” meeting when her phone pings as she’s throwing on her jacket.

Matt hears her curse and then sees her roll her eyes.

“That idiot,” she mutters. 

Shay then walks over to the kitchen, grabs one of the reusable totes she owns for groceries, and starts pilfering their fridge and cabinets. 

Matt spots Pop Tarts, Oreos, Ice Cream, popcorn, and Doritos being thrown into the bag before he finally manages to ask.

“What happened?”

“I think Sylvie and Mills broke up,” Shay says with a huff. “Stella texted me to bring provisions to their place for heartbreak.”

Matt rubs a hand over his face and releases a deep sigh. “You might want to stop on the way over there and buy every variety of gummy candy you can find. It’s always what she raids first in the stash at the house.”

Leslie’s eyes narrow suspiciously, but she doesn’t call him out. Thank God. “Good tip, Casey. I’ll do that. Do you, by chance, know why they might have broken up?”

He blows out a ragged breath while he nods. “Welch found out that Sylvie and I slept together, and told his old house so I’d imagine if Mills found out—“

“Gabby flashbacks. Got it,” Leslie says, mercifully cutting him off. Her eyes turn a violent shade of blue before she shoulders the tote and walks toward the door. “I can’t fucking stand Welch. If he’s not bounced soon then I may end up murdering him. Just so you know.”

“Believe me, if you do then I’ll help you hide the body,” Matt concurs. 

“Yeah, I bet you will,” she says with a grin that feels far too knowing. “Don’t wait up. I might be gone all night. Will you make excuses to Herrmann for me when you go to Molly’s later?”

“Yeah,” he says, willfully ignoring her teasing. “I got your back.”

After Leslie leaves, he decides to go to Molly’s in her place so Otis and Herrmann don’t wonder why Shay’s not there. He hangs around after, nursing a beer, and trying to decide the best way to handle Welch. A game comes on TV and Matt’s half paying attention to it when Mills walks through the door. 

He looks like a wreck. His eyes are tired and his clothes are rumpled. He orders from Herrmann and then he gives Matt the side eye. Part of him knows he should leave Mills alone, but the part of him that wants to see Sylvie happy can’t resist. 

He picks up his beer and moves down a few stools to sit next to Peter. He clears his throat and then gives Mills a wan smile when the younger man looks his way. 

“Listen, I don’t know what Welch or the guys at 105 said to you and I certainly don’t want to get in the middle of you and Brett but—“

“It’s a little late for that, Casey,” Mills says with a dry scoff. “Sounds like you were in the middle before Sylvie and I even got started.”

“I’ve never been in the middle,” he says, trying to reassure him. “Not then and certainly not now. You’re the one Sylvie wants, man. Don’t let Welch get away with ruining that. You make her happy and after everything her ex put her through she deserves to be happy.”

“I thought I made Gabby happy too, but we both know how that turned out.”

Casey shakes his head and narrowly avoids rolling his eyes. “Don’t do that. Don’t compare Sylvie and Gabby. The situation with you, Gabby, and me was completely different. You know that and I know that. Are you really going to let what happened then put an end to something good you’ve got right _now_?”

“You really don’t think this is weird?” Peter asks him with a singular quirked brow. “You and me interested in the same woman, again?”

“I didn’t say I was interested,” Matt replies, trying to sound as unaffected by the question as possible.

Mills snorts derisively. “Okay, Lieutenant. Whatever you say. Everyone at 51, and any neighboring house, has seen how closely you pay attention to her—“

“We’re _friends_ , Mills. She was there for me through some really tough shit—“

“Yeah, and so was Shay and so was Severide but you don’t treat either of them with the same care or concern you treat Brett.”

 _Busted_.

He has no argument for that. It’s true. There’s no reason or excuse for it. Aside from his recently realized feelings, that is.

He avoids looking directly at Mills as he gives a pointed non-answer. “It doesn’t matter, Brett’s not interested in _me_. That’s what’s important.”

“Right, because there’s no way that fact could ever change is there?” Peter asks sarcastically. “Casey, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but this is something I have to figure out on my own. Right or wrong, I need to think about how _I_ feel about this. It wouldn’t be right to keep dragging this on with Sylvie if I don’t think it can work.”

“She doesn’t deserve to end up hurt because Gabby and I hurt _you_ and she sure as hell doesn’t deserve to suffer because Welch wants to hurt _my_ reputation,” Matt says, trying one last time.

“No, she doesn’t but life isn’t always fair, is it?” Mills asks, rhetorically. He looks apologetic as he drops cash on the bartop and stands up. “I’m doing my best to figure this thing out. I don’t want to hurt her either but I can’t grit my teeth through all of this and _make it_ work. I’d end up hurting her anyway if I did that. Look, I gotta go. If you see her, just tell her I’ll call her when I’ve sorted things out.”

Matt bites his tongue and nods. It’s not any of his business and he should have stayed out of it to begin with because it’s possible all he did was make things _worse_.

******

The next morning, Sylvie’s cell phone ringing wakes her up. Shay and Kidd groan from the other side of the room and she realizes they all passed out in the living room. There are multiple sticky glasses and empty bottles scattered across the coffee table and candy wrappers littering the floor. 

Shay came over with huge bags of gummy worms and a massive tub of Sour Patch Kids. Sylvie’s pretty sure she ate every single one of them. Between the alcohol and the candy her stomach is churning painfully.

Brett remembers the phone ringing and blindy reaches out to the side table next to the sofa. Her hand finds the phone as her eyes land on the screen. She gasps and answers the call as quickly as she can.

“Pete?” 

Oh fuck, she sounds like she smoked twelve packs of cigarettes in a row.

“I’m outside.” 

That’s all he says. No greeting, no asking why she sounds like a lifelong chain-smoker, or wondering if she’s dressed. Just a simple, cold two word sentence. 

“Okay, I’ll be right there.”

He hangs up and Sylvie throws on a pair of sweatpants and her thick winter coat. She has a feeling this won’t be good and that he won’t be coming inside. She opens the front door and as expected he backs away from the door, giving her room to join him on the stoop. She’s sure she looks like death but what does it matter? If he dumps her then he dumps her. Makeup won’t make one bit of difference.

“I’m sorry I walked away last night,” he says. “But I needed to clear my head and with you around...well, that’s awfully hard to do.”

“That’s funny, you cleared your head and I muddled mine with alcohol so…” She lets her sentence trail off with an awkward chuckle. She wasn’t sure what else to say so she tried for a joke. Clearly, the joke fell flat.

Pete smiles sadly at her and sighs. “Sylvie, I really wanted to show up here this morning and tell you everything would be okay.”

Instant tears. He’s only said one sentence and already her eyes are watering. She hates being right.

“If I’d known what happened with Matt would be such a big issue for you I would have told you a long time ago,” she assures him. “But I didn’t know. I--I thought you and Gabby had a fight or...I don’t know. I just never knew Matt was involved.”

“It was complicated,” Mills admits. “Just like this is now.”

“No,” she disagrees. “This isn’t complicated. I _don’t_ have feelings for Matt. I’ve told you that. Why don’t you believe me?”

“I believe that _you_ believe that,” he says mysteriously. 

“I don’t even know what that means,” she replies softly. “Please don’t do this. Everything was so good before this. Why can’t we go back to that?”

“It’s just too strange for me, Sylvie. I’m tired of complicated and I thought you and me--Well, I thought it was simple. I thought our relationship only involved us, but I can see now that has never been the case. You’ve had Casey at 51 and me at home. Two halves of a boyfriend.”

God, that made her sound awful. Like was she was using _both_ of them. “That’s not true. Casey is my _friend_. He was there for me before you and I started to get to know each other. I was there for him. We--we went through a lot of pain and growth these last few months, sure, but he and I never had what I have with _you_. God, Pete, I love you. I really love you. I--I haven’t had the courage to say that until now.”

He takes a deep breath and wraps his hands around hers. “I love you too.”

“Then doesn’t that count for something? _Anything_?”

“Loving someone isn’t always enough,” he tells her with a furrowed brow and a frown. “You can love someone and not be meant to be together--”

“Bullshit,” Sylvie counters. “I call bullshit.”

He chuckles dryly and gives her half of a wan smile. “You’re amazing, Sylvie Brett. Brave and selfless with the biggest heart I’ve ever seen. You deserve someone who can look past their own issues and be there for you no questions asked.” 

She feels him squeeze her hands but then his warm touch is gone. Frigid winter air wraps around her fingers instead. 

“As much as I want to be,” he confesses. “I’m not that guy. I know I _should_ be able to look past whatever happened with you and Casey, but I can’t stop picturing it in my head and now everytime I look at you that’s all I think about. The only way I can think to make this work is to ask you to choose between us and because I know you so well -- I know exactly how that scenario would end.” He leans forward and places a gentle kiss to the top of her head. “Think of it like this, if it helps, I’m saving you the stress of the decision. I’m choosing for you.”

For the life of her, she has no idea how to respond to that.

He takes advantage of her silence and descends the steps, stopping to wave as he reaches his car door. “See you around, Brett.”

She blinks back her tears and nods through a quivering breath. “Yeah, see you around, Mills.”

A sense of numbness overtakes her as she watches him drive away.

She has the shittiest god damn luck in the world. She finally dates a truly good man and he has to have an uncomfortable history with her best friend. _Has to_. Of all the people for her to have fallen in love with--

Why did it have to be _Pete_? What was the point if it was always going to end _like this_?

The front door opens and a pair of arms wraps around her from behind. A chin lands on her shoulder before she feels curly hair tickling her cheek.

“I’m sorry, babe,” Stella says, holding Sylvie tighter.

“This isn’t fair,” she says with a sniffle, as a tear falls down her cheek. “I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I know. It sucks ass. Mills is an idiot.”

“No,” she says. The urge to defend him can’t be quelled. “He’s hurting. There’s a difference.”

“No, Kidd’s right,” Shay agrees, shoving a coffee cup into Sylvie’s hands. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to him and if he doesn’t see that then he’s officially an idiot. Come on,” Shay says as she nods toward the open door. “Let’s get you inside where it’s warm. Stella will make us breakfast.”

Stella rolls her eyes and chuckles. “I’m ignoring the fact that you volunteered me without asking for Sylvie’s sake. Hangover eggs and bacon coming right up.”

They pull her inside the apartment. Shay takes over the hug when Stella ultimately releases her. “This is why you have us,” Leslie tells her. “To get you through.”


	35. In The Middle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The shift after Welch let Brett and Casey's secret out of the bag.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** Okay, gonna trigger warning this chapter: _**tw // sexual harassment.**_
> 
> If this is something that would deeply and personally affect you then I would skip the second section of this chapter. I don’t want anyone reading something that brings back harmful memories. 
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea,_

_I'll sail the world to find you._

_If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can't see,_

_I'll be the light to guide you.”_

_-”Count On Me” by Bruno Mars_

******

“So, you like paramedics, huh?”

That’s the last question Matt expects to hear while walking in for shift, especially from his new chief.

“What?” He asks, hoping he heard wrong.

“Hey, I can’t say I blame you. Particularly in this case. Brett’s a head turner but, take it from me, watch out for those younger women. They’re more trouble than they’re worth sometimes,” Pridgen says, a genuine smile on his face.

The words and the smile make Matt sick to his stomach. Does this asshole think he’s found something for them to bond over?

“Chief, I can explain—“

“Trust me,” he says, cutting Matt off with a chuckle. “You don’t need to explain. I thought I didn’t get you, Lieutenant Casey, but you and I are more alike than I realized.”

Casey can’t find any words to rebut that statement. He knows they exist but they’re currently out of his reach. Besides, he’s been on shaky ground with Pridgen. Surely, accusing him of being a sexist asshole won’t help. Matt decides to at least refute the assumption he and Sylvie are sleeping together, but as he opens his mouth to speak Pridgen hurries ahead of him. Call him crazy, but he doesn’t think Sylvie would appreciate his denial shouted across the hallway.

Instead, he heads for the locker room. Determined to find the jackass that got them into this mess. 

He finds Welch as he’s finishing changing out. His locker door is still standing open. 

“Hey!” Matt reaches out a hand and slams it shut before jabbing Welch’s chest with an accusatory finger. “You need to mind your own damn business.”

“Hey,” Welch says, parroting him. “I’m not the one sleeping with all the paramedics.”

“I let it go when you ran off your mouth to your old house, but Pridgen?” Casey asks, feeling rage coursing through every inch of him. He’d ruined Sylvie’s reputation in one house already but with their boss? Tommy Welch had crossed the line so long ago that it probably looked like a dot on the horizon to him. “You looking to get knocked on your ass, Welch?”

“The way I heard Pridgen is buddies with my replacement at 105 and it came out over whiskeys and poker. I didn’t tell him shit. I meant it when I told Brett I didn’t intend for it to blow back on her so I squashed it with my guys,” he replies with glare and a shake of his head. “That’s actually lucky for you. Because as much as I’d love to watch your career go down the toilet, I’d hate to see that happen to her. Besides, I’m not the one who got her into this situation to begin with, am I? You slept with her and now it’s your mess to clean up. Good luck with that.”

Matt watches him walk away with wide shocked eyes. He feels far too many things. Anger. Guilt. Concern. The one thing he doesn’t feel, that he thinks maybe he _should_ feel, is regret. He doesn’t regret that night with Sylvie. He doesn’t regret how close it’s brought them since then. Maybe he should because--Welch is right--that’s the entire reason they’re caught up in this shit show. 

He changes and immediately seeks out Brett. He finds her in the common room, chatting with Shay. She looks subdued. There are dark circles under her eyes and her skin looks paler than usual. He knows then that Shay’s guess was correct. Mills and Brett broke up.

He’s about to ask to talk in private when Pridgen waltzes into the room.

“Brett,” he says with a stern look and nod toward the bullpen. “My office, please.”

She looks up in surprise, her mouth forming a perfectly round circle. “Me?”

“Yes,” he tells her. “I’d like to get this out of the way before the briefing. Let’s go.”

“O--okay,” she says reluctantly as she stands and follows him down the hall. 

Casey and Shay trade worried glances. Considering the way Pridgen spoke to him this morning, Matt doubts anything good will come of this meeting. And why would he need to see Sylvie alone? There haven’t been any overly traumatic calls recently and Sylvie’s record is clean as a whistle. He glances down at his watch and sighs. Whatever it is can’t take long. There’s only fifteen minutes until the briefing.

******

“You wanted to see me, Chief?” Sylvie asks as they step into the office.

“Yeah, shut the door, will you?” He asks.

Well, that can’t be good, Sylvie thinks as she closes the door. Closed door meetings with a chief are rarely good. She sits down in one of the chairs across from the desk. The minute she does, he stands and comes around the desk to stand in front of her. He half sits on the edge of the desk so that he looms over her while being mere inches away, invading her personal space.

“A rumor got back to me while playing poker with one of the Lieutenants at 105,” Pridgen says as points a tilted smile at her. “And I just wanted to check in and see if there are any problems I need to know about. Particularly with Lieutenant Casey.”

“With Casey?” She asks, genuinely shocked by the question. “No. No way. Casey’s been professional and appropriate every day we’ve worked together.”

He nods, slowly. “So, I take it the rumor is true, then? You and Casey…”

“I--Sir, that’s personal and with all due respect I’m really not comfortable talking about--”

“Right, of course, I’m sorry if I overstepped,” he says, and she almost believes he means it. At least until he reaches out a hand and squeezes her thigh. It’s quick, the briefest touch, but it makes her skin crawl long after he’s pulled it away. “It’s just if you’re thinking a Lieutenant can help you get anywhere around here, well I hate to tell you but you’re barking up the wrong tree. Lieutenant Casey is just one step above a grunt in the CFD food chain.”

“No, I’m not looking for help getting anywhere,” she replies, repeating his words. Her stomach plummets all the way to the soles of her feet. She knows exactly what’s coming next. She hopes she’s wrong but this entire meeting feels...sinister. “I’m happy where I am, really.”

“Sure,” he says dismissively. “But it’s always good to have an I.O.U. in your back pocket. You just have to pick the right officer. A Lieutenant can’t really offer you too much, but…”

No, don’t say it. Oh god, please don’t say it. 

“A chief--well, that’s real power to make change,” Pridgen says, his hand landing on her thigh again. This time he lets it linger before squeezing. 

She’s going to be sick. He can’t possibly be doing what she thinks he’s doing. Can he? She’s so stunned that she can’t seem to form words or move. This is the last thing she expected when she closed that door behind them. She feels claustrophobic all of a sudden and her skin itches, as if bugs are crawling all over her. 

He winks and then stands up straighter, putting more space in between them. “Just think about it.” He places a card in her hand before retreating back behind his desk. “Call me anytime. My personal number is on the back.” 

There’s a beat of quiet where she supposes he expects her to talk, but she’s fairly certain she’s disassociated from her body at this point. His smarmy grin falls and she thinks he might finally be reading the room. 

He clears his throat and points to the door. “You’re dismissed.”

She stands on shaky legs, feeling as if she’s walking against a huge gust of wind.

“Oh, and Brett?” 

She freezes with her hand on the doorknob. He doesn’t wait for her to turn before he continues.

“I have the power to help if you need it or…” he stops and his voice hardens. “The power to hurt. Your reputation is vulnerable right now. I’d take that into consideration before doing something reckless that might hurt us _both_. Or even Lieutenant Casey by association.”

She swallows and nods but still can’t bear to face him. She walks through the bullpen in a fog. Her feet carry her away from Pridgen while her mind panics. 

_What the fuck just happened?_

Her panicked mind directed her feet to Matt’s quarters. He’s the first person she wants to talk to but probably the one person she’s the most afraid to talk to -- especially about Pridgen. Pridgen could end Casey’s career and Matt’s already got a target on his back from his outburst last week. The last thing she wants is to make things worse, but…

She doesn’t know how to deal with this on her own and the only person she really wants to ask for help is Matt. That knowledge doesn’t leave her very much choice.

She’s standing in his open doorway before she even register’s she’s moved across the bunkroom.

Matt looks up almost as soon as she arrives. He’s smiling at first, but it quickly falls once he gets a good look at her face. 

“What happened?” He asks, standing and meeting her in the doorway. “What did Pridgen say?”

******

His pulse is thumping in his ears. He doesn’t want to believe what he just heard but based on what he’s seen of Pridgen there is no doubt that it’s true. 

Matt hasn’t wanted to rip a man’s head off like this since Welch started verbally attacking Gabby in front of him last year. This morning he anticipated his biggest problem would be with Welch but he should’ve known better. 

After his short chat with Pridgen, he should have seen this coming.

He knew something was wrong with Sylvie the minute he got a good look at her. He’d never seen her like that -- frozen and scared. She glanced around before stepping inside of his quarters and closing the door behind her. It was her hesitance to talk to him that really told him something was wrong along with the pure terror in her conflicted blue gaze. 

When she finally did start talking, he wished she’d stop. 

It sounds terrible. He knows. But the idea of anyone, let alone their boss, treating Sylvie like an object or a _transaction_ made him see blinding red. Once again, he thinks she’s in this position because of him. Because Welch is after _his ass_. Guilt mixes with the anger and the worry. She’s clearly in pain -- emotionally turmoil to be put more accurately -- on _top_ of the pain she was already feeling from her break up with Mills, he’s sure. 

Sylvie Brett doesn’t fucking deserve _any_ of this. 

“I’m gonna kill him,” Matt tells her as he stands and runs his hands over his hair. He brings his hands down into clenched fists at his sides and shakes his head. “Or beat the shit out of him at least--”

“You will do no such thing,” Sylvie says with a thick swallow. “All that will do is get you fired and then I’ll have to come to work every day with _him_ and _not_ you. Do not make me do that.”

“Sylvie, what he just did--that was--”

“Classic sexual harassment, yes,” She says with a shaky breath. “ _I know_. I am simultaneously pissed off and scared out of my mind, Matt. He made it pretty clear that if I report him he’ll retaliate and with the truth about us being blown out of proportion at 105...Who the hell would believe _me_ over a CFD _chief_? But on the other hand, how can I work with him every day knowing that he--” she stops and scrubs a hand over her thigh, as if wiping away a stain. 

She didn’t mention him touching her but now he’s wondering if she told him absolutely everything. 

“Did he-- _Jesus Christ_. Did he touch you?”

Her eyes glisten with tears but she doesn’t answer him. 

She doesn’t need to.

“Fuck no,” Matt says, slamming a fist down on his desk and causing Sylvie to jump. “We dealt with Welch your way but not this time.”

Before Sylvie can stop him Matt is out the door and thundering through the bunkroom. His door slams behind him with a loud thwack, it rebounds from the frame. The ruckus causes Severide to peak his head out of his quarters. Matt ignores him and continues his warpath toward the bullpen. He’s imagining throwing Pridgen against Boden’s desk and punching him till he has a permanent dent in his face. Maybe breaking his hands for daring to lay them on Sylvie. It’s what he deserves. 

He’s nearly there when Severide skids to a sudden stop in front of him. Matt collides against him and Severide quickly grabs a hold of his shoulders. Forcibly holding him back from taking that final step into the bullpen. 

“Don’t do this, Case,” Severide says in a low whisper. “All you’re gonna do is cost yourself your pension. Think it through, man.”

“Think it through? That asshole--You don’t know what he did, Kelly. If you knew, you’d be fucking helping me. Not holding me back.”

“Maybe so,” Kelly agrees. “But for right now, you’d better be glad I don’t know because I’m the only thing keeping you from getting fired or arrested. Turn around. Go back and talk to Brett. She looked frantic when you left. Basically yelled at me to go after you. With everything we both know she has going on right now, you really want to add to that?”

He grits his teeth and shifts his glare from Pridgen, through the office glass, to Severide as he stands across from him. “No.”

“Great, then turn around, go back to your quarters, and let’s come up with a better plan than ripping the man’s head off of his shoulders.”

It’s the thought of Sylvie waiting in his quarters, frantic with worry, that has him conceding Severide’s point. He turns and begrudgingly makes his way back to the bunkroom. Severide stays right on his heels until they’re both face to face with Sylvie again.

“Returned to you, unharmed and still employed as promised,” Kelly says with a nod and a small smirk. “I’ll be in my quarters if you need me to tackle him to the ground or anything.”

“Thanks, Severide,” Brett replies, her tense posture instantly deflating. “Are you insane, Matt? You can’t just haul off and attack a superior officer,” she hisses. 

“Guys like Pridgen don’t deserve to be a chief to begin with,” Matt mutters. “So as far as I’m concerned he’s not an officer and certainly isn’t owed the same respect as Boden.”

“Believe me, I agree with you,” she whispers. “But we need an actual strategy. One that doesn’t include either of us losing our jobs. I mean maybe...maybe we should talk to Boden? I know he’s at home and dealing with a lot but I can’t think of anyone else who’d know what to do.”

Just the idea of seeing Boden, quells a bit of Matt’s rage. As much as pounding Pridgen into the ground would be extremely satisfying, he knows in an instant that going to Boden is the right move. 

He nods. “We’ll go see him after shift. At the very least he can maybe point us in the right direction.”

“Can you keep your cool until then?” Sylvie asks worriedly.

“I don’t have much choice,” Matt mutters sharply. 

Sylvie grimaces and bites her bottom lip through an anxious sigh. “I shouldn’t have told you. I didn’t mean to make this so hard on you, Casey, but I--”

“Hey, whoa, stop right there,” he says, softening his tone and looking her in the eyes. “You absolutely _should_ have told me and this is harder on _you_ than me. Do not apologize to anyone for anything. You haven’t done anything wrong. Of all of us involved in this shitty situation, you’re the only one who’s done _absolutely nothing_ wrong. Remember that.”

Severide steps out his quarters and points to his watch. “Morning briefing.”

“Shit,” Matt curses. “I forgot about that.” He turns to Sylvie in concern. “Are you going to be okay seeing him face to face so soon after…”

She nods and squares her shoulders. “He’s the one that should be embarrassed. Not me. You’re right.” She gives him a small grateful smile and shrugs. “I haven’t done anything wrong.”

“Game faces,” Matt tells her with an miniscule encouraging grin. “We’ll talk to Boden and get Pridgen out of here. I promise.”


	36. Not So Fair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brett and Casey go see Boden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** Okay, we’re reaching the end of this storyline and I hope you guys are enjoying it! Thank you for continuing to read and comment/review! It means so much to me!
> 
> Happy reading
> 
> xoxo

******

_“When the water's high,_

_When the weather's not so fair,_

_When the well runs dry,_

_Who's gonna be there?”_

_“Find Out Who Your Friends Are” by Tracy Lawrence_

******

Sylvie wants this briefing over as quickly as possible. Matt is still seething. Quietly, but definitely seething. And she is…

Well, her skin is crawling just being in the same room as Pat Pridgen even if he’s standing in the front and she’s hidden herself in the back, tucked between Casey and Severide.

Not that she had an option really, Matt sort of herded her there. She’d never seen him so mad as he was earlier. The way he tore off to track down their Chief terrified her and her yelling for Severide probably terrified _Kelly_. Severide knew something was up. She could tell by the way he crowded her space more than usual. He may not know what happened but he knows it had to do with her and Pridgen and that Matt was ready to go to war. Those are probably big enough hints for him to at least narrow it down.

Matt is standing in front of her very slightly with his arms crossed over his chest and Kelly is leaning his shoulder into the wall, with his body turned in toward her. Both men are giving off massively protective vibes that Sylvie knows Pridgen must pick up on. She’s a little worried he’ll realize she told someone what happened and retaliate, but she has to admit she feels stronger knowing Kelly and Matt have her back.

Pridgen makes the usual housekeeping announcements and then gives them any notices from the higher ups. Just as Sylvie thinks they’re home free, Pridgen leans against the podium and glances around the room with an intimidating stare.

She holds her breath as she waits for him to speak. She feels Casey and Severide tensing on either side of her. Something about this feels dangerous -- like no matter what he says next a pointed response is inevitable.

“We’ve had some issues recently, with a few of you undermining my authority. I’ve let it slide previously, but not anymore. I’ve had conversations with your Lieutenants about this but they seem to be slacking off on abiding by the chain of command too so it seems it’s up to me. I don’t know if Boden ran a lazy house or if he put up with more than I’m willing to, but it stops today. This is my house. I’m the Chief here and what I say goes,” he insists, pouding a fist against the podium. His eyes drift between Leslie and Sylvie before landing on her with a challenging quirked brow. “That includes the medics. Are we clear?”

Sylvie tries not to shrink into herself and stand tall. This asshole will not make her afraid to come to work. He will not make her cower in a place that’s just as much her home as her apartment. She will not let him.

Matt and Severide crowd in a little closer.

They all mumble affirmatives, to indicate they’ve heard him and _not_ that they’ll do as he says. He starts to leave but stops to stand in front of Otis and leans down to catch his eye.

“You clear about that, Gutter Ball? I wouldn’t want there to be any more confusion or screw ups around here.”

“He’s clear,” Severide says, jaw ticking angrily as he speaks. “You don’t like us, you don’t like Boden, and you don’t like our house. Not sure what’s _unclear_ about that.”

“Don’t worry, _Chief_ ,” Matt says with a crooked troublemaking smirk. “We’ll be sure to show you respect -- just as soon as you earn it.”

Sylvie’s eyes widen in surprise but she can’t stop the proud grin that overtakes her face. God, she loves this house. It’s full of the absolute best people the CFD has to offer. 

Pridgen turns red in the face, his breathing becomes harsh, and Sylvie swears steam pours out of his ears. She knows that’s not possible but that’s the only way to describe how truly _pissed_ he looks. He opens his mouth to speak but whatever tirade he’d planned is interrupted by the bells.

It’s a call for all of them. Structure fire on Washington and Kenzie. They arrive on scene to find the building already engulfed. Casey and Truck get to work after talking to the building manager. There’s a kid trapped inside the building. She and Shay keep Ambo back from the scene to wait for any victims. She’s blessedly far away from Pridgen. 

A little girl runs past the ambo and right up to Pridgen. She’s yelling and pointing but neither she nor Shay can hear what’s being said. The next thing she sees is Pridgen redeploying Casey and his truck crew. Suddenly they’re walking toward 61 with a backboard and a few other medical supplies. 

She gives Casey a questioning look as he passes and he shakes his head at her, a livid expression on his face. Severide and Welch are standing next to Pridgen, looking confused and apprehensive. A moment later, Squad runs into the building. 

“What the hell was that?” Shay asks her. 

Sylvie shakes her head with a furrowed brow. “Pridgen being an asshole again I’m guessing.”

Shay snorts and then grins at her. “Wow, my partner’s finally talking shit about someone. What happened to seeing the good in everyone?”

“Some people aren’t worth the effort,” Sylvie says darkly. “I’ll get the gurney ready.”

The look Leslie gives her is suspicious but she doesn’t ask any questions or make any further comments. Sylvie’s grateful for that. She’ll tell her at some point, but now is not the time. Severide makes it out with the little girl and then she and Shay race off to Med. They’ve barely left the scene when they hear shouting over the radio about needing a second Ambo for another victim who fell from the second floor. Pete and Choute pick up the call. They hear them advise Main they’ve got a trauma victim headed to Med. 

On top of everything else, Sylvie really doesn’t want to feel the lurch her heart gives at the sound of Pete’s voice over the radio.

“Second victim?” Shay asks. “All the other tenants were cleared.”

They drop their victim off but as they’re filling out paperwork and restocking, Mills and Choute roll in with the second victim.

Sylvie gasps after getting a long look at him. “Is that the building manager?”

“Hey, Choute,” Shay calls once they’ve handed off their victim. “What happened?”

“The guy went back in to look for the girl,” Choute tells her. “When we arrived he was laying on his back on the pavement. Kidd said with the way he landed he might have neck and spinal injuries.

Pete slowly joins them, smiling sadly at Brett as he does. “Why was Squad the only crew going into that house?” He asks. “That’s not normal procedure.”

“Pridgen’s got a bug up his ass about something,” Leslie muttered. “Jesus, I need Boden back. I hate this guy.”

“Me too,” Sylvie mutters. “He’s a creep.” She hadn’t meant to express it with such _venom_ but she can tell by the surprise on Shay and Mills’ faces that she said it particularly violently. “Or so I’ve heard,” she says in a lame attempt to cover her tracks.

Mills gives her a concerned glance, but before he can open his mouth to ask she grabs their gurney and wheels it away from him. “We’d better get back. Don’t you think, Shay?”

Shay nods, rolling with Sylvie's sudden urge to leave. “Yeah, you’re right. We should check in with the guys.”

Leslie doesn’t push for more information. Sylvie wonders if her partner can tell the moment isn’t right or if she’s just assuming her skittish reaction was all about Pete. It’s not all about Pete. It’s about Pete asking her what’s wrong. Mills can definitely tell it’s more than just their break up. He knows her too well. The idea of telling him what happened with Pridgen…

God, it makes her sick to her stomach. She can’t do it.

She can’t even bring herself to tell Shay, let alone Pete.

Not yet, anyway. Maybe after she and Casey talk to Boden. Once they have a plan.

If they survive Pridgen and Welch that long, that is.

They get back to the house to find Casey and Severide waiting for them. Shay rounds on them the minute her door is closed. 

“What the hell happened with the building manager?” She asks.

“He ran back in after Pridgen had Truck redeployed to the EMS call,” Severide explains. 

“Which he only did to get back at me for not taking his bullshit anymore,” Matt adds angrily. “And then Welch had to get his hits in afterward too. I don’t suppose there’s any point in trying to talk to Pridgen about him again, is there?”

“As little as he likes either of us?” Severide asks rhetorically. 

“Did you hear anything about the manager while you were at Med?” Casey asks, ignoring Kelly.

“They were just starting to work on him when we left,” Sylvie answers apologetically. “Sorry.”

Matt shakes his head and stalks off toward the bunkroom. “This entire situation is ridiculous.”

Sylvie follows him, leaving Shay and Severide to talk. “You did all you could, Casey,” she reminds him. “Pridgen made the bad call. Not you.”

“I can’t believe a _chief_ is so petty that he’d leave us understaffed like that,” Matt vents. “It’s completely unprofessional -- not that I expect anything less from _Pridgen_. Going to see Boden is even more vital now than it was before.”

She agrees completely. Before Pridgen was only affecting them personally, but now he’s getting in the way of the job. Whatever plan they come up with has to be put into action fast.

“We just have to hold out for the rest of shift, Matt. We can do it.”

He gives her a weak smile and nods. “If you say so then I believe it.”

There’s no reason his little show of faith should make her day ten times better...but it does. The days nowhere near over and it’s been utterly awful, but at least she has Matt to help get her through it.

******

Matt tries to keep busy the rest of shift. He focuses on incident reports and paperwork -- anything to keep him from noticing the group of white shirts that show up to question people about the apartment fire. The building manager’s sister is looking to sue the CFD for negligence, he finds out, and now 51’s reaction to the call is being investigated. 

He knows Severide is keeping an eye on it so Matt tries to keep his distance, lest he get in a brawl with Welch or Pridgen and make things worse.

He’s headed into the locker room to finally change out and let this shift from hell end, when he overhears Severide and Welch having a conversation.

“Look, even if I were to put myself on the line it sure as hell wouldn’t be for your buddy.”

Welch sees him walk into the locker room and turns their conversation toward Matt.

“This idiot pissed him off, he can pay the price.”

“Say it again, Welch,” Matt challenges. He’s had about enough of these assholes taking over his house. 

“Easy,” Severide warns when Matt starts to close in.

“Pridgen is gonna bury your ass, man,” Welch says with a smirk as he walks away from them.

He and Severide trade worried glances. Matt changes and then waits in his quarters for Sylvie. She and Shay had a call right before shift change so she’s running a little behind. He doesn’t want to leave her to walk out by herself with Pridgen around, plus they’re going to see Boden after this. While he waits, he calls Boden and lets him know they’re coming. It’s probably not a good idea to surprise someone with an infant to take care if, not that he’s ever had the experience.

Sylvie spots him as she heads toward the locker room and waves. “I’ll be right out.”

“Take your time,” he says with a nod.

True to her word, she’s changed and walking toward him within ten minutes and they walk out toward his truck together.

“Anything else happen while we were gone?” Sylvie asks him as he pulls away from the curb.

“Yeah, Pridgen’s trying to use me as a scapegoat for the building manager being in critical condition.”

Sylvie closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. Her jaw is locked so when she breathes out it sounds more like a growl than an exhale. “Of course he is,” she sneers. “God, I hate him. I try not to hate many people because I like to think people can change and second chances should be offered freely, but this guy--He’s just such an unapologetic _asshole_. I won’t let him use you as a scapegoat, Matt. If I have to report him for the harassment to stop that from happening--”

“Don’t,” Matt says with a shake of his head. “Don’t report the harassment for me, Sylvie. You should only report it _for you_ and only _if_ you’re comfortable doing so. I’ll figure something out. I’ll take care of it. Don’t force yourself into something you’re not ready for to save _me_.”

“I’d be ready if it meant saving your job and your reputation,” she replies with a huff. “You’re too good, Matt -- at work and outside of it. I can’t let people like Pridgen win just because I’m _scared_. That’s not good enough.”

“Yeah, well, I hate to break it to you, but I don’t want you sacrificing your career or reputation for me either,” he says with a tired sigh. “You’re the most selfless person I’ve ever met, Sylvie, but I can’t let you do that without backup. Let’s at least talk to Boden first before we start blowing anything up, okay?”

When they arrive at Boden’s, he opens the door in a ballcap, sweats, and socked feet. It’s a bit of a shock for them both. They’ve never seen their Chief quite so casual before. They can hear baby Terrence crying upstairs and Sylvie immediately apologizes.

“Did we do that?” She asks with a wince.

“No,” Boden says kindly. “The doorbell did. What’s going on?”

“Chief, we have been trying to make this work with Pridgen but he’s a bully,” Matt says in a frustrated rush. “I’m gonna drop him some day very soon and when I do he’s gonna take half my pension.”

Boden quirks a brow at Matt calmly and nods before turning an expectant gaze on Sylvie. “And what about you?”

Sylvie’s expression pales and the fear he saw in her that morning returns. She’s frozen and embarrassed. Boden immediately senses the shift in the room. He pulls them further into the house.

“You two want something to drink?” He asks, when it’s clear Sylvie can’t bring herself to answer him just yet. 

Matt brings an encouraging hand down to the small of Sylvie’s back, before leaning toward her ear to whisper. “It’s okay, Sylvie. There’s only people you can trust here.”

She nods and chews on her bottom lip, nervously she tucks loose strands of hair behind her ears. “Chief, um, there’s been a rumor going around about--”

“You and Casey?” He asks knowingly.

Casey’s brow furrows. “I thought you were on furlough.”

The corner of Boden’s mouth twitches upward. “I know everything that goes on at my house. Is it true?”

“We had one night before I came to work at 51,” she says honestly, looking to Casey for approval before she answered. “That’s it and that was months ago. Besides, I’ve been dating Mills -- or I _was_ dating Mills until...Anyway, it doesn’t matter. The only reason the rumor matters is because--” she pauses and takes in a steadying breath. Matt’s hand finds the small of her back again, hoping to offer her strength. “Because Pridgen thought it was true and, um, propositioned me. Oh god, that sounds _awful_.”

“It sounds awful because it _is_ awful,” Matt reminds her. “ _He’s_ awful.”

Boden’s hands have curled into fists and there’s anger simmering under he’s usually stoic expression. “He did _what_?”

“He called me into the office and basically offered me career advancement in exchange for--”

“He did this in the office?” Boden asks, his volume increasing. “In _my_ office? Did it go any further than words?”

She nods minutely and somehow looks more hesitant in the face of Boden’s anger than she has the entire day. “He put his hand on my thigh a couple of times--”

“Son of a bitch,” Boden curses under his breath, his professional stoicism completely falling away. He shakes his head and then slowly approaches Sylvie. Matt notices him start to reach a hand out to touch her shoulder, but he withdraws it quickly. Instead he opts to dip his head and deliberately catch Sylvie’s watery gaze. “Sylvie, I am so incredibly sorry you had to go through that and that he made my house a hostile environment for you. His behavior is inexcusable. You have every right to lodge a formal complaint against him. The CFD will thoroughly investigate it.”

“Thank you, Chief,” she says softly. “But you’re forgetting one thing.”

“What’s that?” He asks, lifting one brow.

“The rumor about me and Casey,” she says, closing her eyes and lifting her chin. The action gives her a look of coinciding vulnerability and strength. Matt has no idea how that’s even possible. “Who’s going to believe _me_ over him after that? And he’ll _know_ it’s me. He threatened my career _and_ Casey’s. How am I supposed to stand up to that? I mean, maybe I should just...change houses. Or maybe take a relief assignment for a while? I--I don’t know.”

“No,” Boden says through gritted teeth. “No one is going anywhere. Not you. Not Casey. Let me make a couple of calls before either of you do anything drastic. I’m not going to let him get away with this, Sylvie. He hurt one of my people and used _my house_ to do it. As far as I’m concerned, he’s no longer welcome there. Just lay low until I can figure this out.” His patient stare shifts to Matt and becomes a parental glare. “Do you think the _both_ of you can do that, _Casey_?”

“I’ll give it my best shot,” Matt grumbles. “But I make no promises.”

“Fair enough,” Boden concedes. “Just give me a little time. I’m not letting him stay in that office after this. I can assure you of that.”

“Thank you, Chief,” Sylvie says with a sigh of relief.

“You’re one of my people, Brett, and we show up for each other at 51 no matter how the odds are stacked up against us,” Boden tells her. “Never forget that.”

She won’t, Matt thinks. He won’t let her and neither will Shay, Severide or Kidd. They’re all here for her and he’s gonna make sure she knows it.


	37. Gonna Be Okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens after they leave Boden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** There are more mentions of sexual harassment at the end of the chapter but nothing explicit. Just be aware if it’s something you’re not comfortable with. 
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“Girl, won't you stop your cryin'?_

_I know that you're tryin'._

_Everything's gonna be okay._

_Baby girl, don't you hang your head low._

_Don't you lose your halo._

_Everyone's gonna be okay,_

_Baby girl.”_

_-“Girl” by Maren Morris_

******

After leaving Boden’s they sit in Matt’s truck for a quiet and contemplative moment.

Matt clears his throat and awkwardly scratches the back of his neck. “So back there with Boden, you talked about you and Mills in the past tense?”

She sighs hopelessly and nods. “Yeah, he dumped me. He was polite about it but...it’s over.”

He releases a curse under his breath and turns to face her with an apologetic glance. “I’m so sorry, Sylvie. None of this is fair to you and I feel like it’s all my fault.”

Her brow furrows and she places her hand on his forearm, squeezing gently. “You’re not the one making assumptions about what I feel or spreading gossip or...taking advantage of the gossip. None of this is on you. The only reason Welch and Pridgen have a problem is because you’re a _good_ person who does what’s right even when it’s not _popular_. Don’t ever apologize for that, Matt. I don’t blame you for any of this and neither should you.”

The weak smile he gives her while his head bobs up and down, to make it clear he heard her, is hardly convincing. He knows this even as he’s doing it. “Do you want me to take you back to your car?”

She shakes her head. “I don’t really want to go home right now. Do you have any plans?”

Not right at this second, no. He and Kelly have their bar crawl tonight which Casey is in no mood for after their last shift. He should probably go home and firm up plans with Kelly, but if he’s honest he’d rather not.

“Nope,” he tells her. “Free as a bird. All day.”

“Will you get breakfast with me? I’m starving,” she asks nervously. “I mean, I get if the rumors mean we shouldn’t but—“

“If you don’t care about the rumors then I sure as hell don’t,” Matt says, cutting her off. “My only worry in all of this is how it affects you so I’ll follow your lead.”

A wide _genuine_ smile spreads across her lips. “Good. Thank you. Let’s go get something to eat. My stomach is about to start eating itself.”

He laughs lightly. “Sounds painful. You pick the place,” he insists as he starts the truck. 

She picks a nice casual place he’s never been too with warm kitschy decor. It looks like it was decorated by someone’s grandmother who happens to hoard woodland animal inspired knick-knacks. There’s antique furniture everywhere and none of the chairs match. Somehow, the place seems exactly like Sylvie’s kind of place.

She closes her eyes and releases a breath. Her shoulders relax and her expression transforms into something peaceful. “This place reminds me of my parent’s house. My mom has a shameful obsession with bric-a-brac.”

He chuckles and nods. “I was just thinking this place reminds me of someone’s grandmother’s house.”

The laugh that leaves her throat fills him with relief. She’s going through more than her share of heartache right now and hearing her laugh in the middle of all of it is encouraging.

“They also have amazingly fluffy waffles,” Sylvie tells him with a bright smile. “And I need some comfort food today.”

“Me too so I’m glad I opted to come with,” he replies with an amused grin.

Her smile sobers slightly as her gaze turns earnest and affectionate. “I am too.”

Making her laugh and smile and forget about her problems feels too important to him -- too good. It nearly compares to the rush of running into a burning building. That thought shocks him. He’s definitely let himself get in too deep already. These feelings are simply because they met at a vulnerable time for both of them and she’s helped him through some of his darkest times. If it wasn’t Sylvie then it could have been anyone else.

Or that’s what he’s telling himself, at least.

He’s fairly certain it’s a lie.

Yeah, he really needs to go on that bar crawl tonight.

For now, he’ll sit with one of his absolute favorite people and enjoy a good breakfast.

They’ve both earned it.

******

He gets home around lunchtime. He and Brett took their time, eating and talking. It wasn’t as hard to avoid thinking about Pridgen or Mills or Welch as he thought it would be. He let Sylvie tell him more about Fowlerton and, surprising even himself, told her a few stories from his own childhood. (Only happy ones. He’s not ready to share anything else yet. If he ever is.) Afterwards, he took her back to the Firehouse to get her car. By the time he walks through the apartment door it’s sometime after one o’clock.

Kelly and Shay are both home and apparently waiting for him.

“Okay, what’s up with you and Brett and Pridgen?” Shay asks. “And why was my partner skittish all shift? I know it’s not _all_ about the break up with Mills.”

He huffs and looks to Severide for help but Kelly only shrugs.

“I had to stop you from murdering Pridgen with your bare hands and still have no idea why so don’t look at me. I’m just as curious as she is,” he says. “I’m also a little curious about why it took you four and a half hours to get back from Boden’s cause according to him you were only there a half hour, tops.”

Shay smirks and leans back against the kitchen counter, looking smug as hell. “Oh, I could answer that one for you. _Easy_.”

“Brett needed a bit of distracting after... _everything_ so we went out for breakfast,” Casey replies with an eye roll.

“For four and a half hours?” Severide asks with a confused expression. “Breakfast takes _maybe_ two hours and that's a generous estimation.”

“What do you want me to say?” He asks irritably. “We talked, we hung out, we ate food, I dropped her by her car. That’s it.”

“Yeah, that’s it,” Kelly replies, his confusion turning into a smugness that rivals Leslie’s. “Okay, buddy. Whatever you say. I’ll let that slide as long as you tell me what happened with Pridgen.”

“Not really sure that story is _mine_ to tell,” Matt says with a huff. He can feel tension coiling in his body again as he’s reminded of Sylvie’s face when she came to him after meeting with Pridgen. She looked traumatized. 

Shay squints at him. She’s too perceptive and he’s no good at lying or hiding things. He _can_ do it but he hates it. 

“Does this have anything to do with what Welch blabbed to 105?” Shay asks.

“Sort of,” he replies, scowling before he explains his answer. “It definitely gave Pridgen an opening to show his true colors.”

Leslie stands up straighter and her hands fist at her sides. He knows then that she understands his meaning. “Did that fuckwad hit on her?”

“Come on,” Kelly says with a shake of his head. “Pridgen’s an asshole but he can’t think he’s _that_ invincible. That’s sexual fucking harassment. Nobody at 51 would let him get away with that. That can’t be it.”

But as Severide’s eyes move between Casey and Shay the realization that Leslie hit the nail on the head seems to dawn on him.

“Well, okay, now I understand why you wanted to murder him,” Severide says as his jaw sets firmly and he shifts his weight from one foot to the other. “I’m feeling sort of murder-y myself. Did he touch her? Even a single finger counts.”

Matt nods. “He stayed just shy of the line, but yes he did.”

“Christ, I hope you told Boden,” Kelly says before muttering a streak of curses under his breath. “I need a beer or a sedative. Anything to keep me from knocking down that bastard’s door beating the shit out of him.”

“Sylvie told Boden and I went with her for support,” he answers. “That’s the reason we needed to see him as soon as possible.”

“And?” Shay asks expectantly.

“He said to lay low. He’s going to make some calls. But I can tell you he’s not about to let Pridgen keep that office for a second longer than he has to.”

“Hopefully he can get him out of there before he succeeds at throwing us under the bus,” Severide says with a snort. 

“Us?” Matt asks with a frown. “What do you mean? Last I checked he was only blaming that call on me.”

“I, uh, paid a visit to Chief Tiberg after shift,” Kelly says sheepishly. “Told him what I saw -- you know, what _actually_ happened.”

“Sev,” Casey says with a stern glare. “You shouldn’t have done that.”

Severide scoffs and shrugs off Matt’s glare. “I’m not letting you take the fall for that idiot. At least not alone. You always need guys on your construction crews, right? You could hire me.”

“That depends,” Matt quips as he makes his way past them to the fridge. “Do you have any experience?”

Kelly laughs and flips him off. “Asshole. Why do I let you live here again?”

“I can’t believe you too are laughing about being unemployed -- potentially,” Shay scolds while she scrolls through her phone and types out a text message.

“After the year we’ve had?” Matt asks rhetorically. “Why wouldn’t we get fired?”

Severide nods his agreement. “It’s true. It may as well happen. Everything else has.”

******

She _should_ be crying over Pete right now, but she can’t focus on anything other than what might happen when she shows up for work next shift. 

Telling Boden and spending time with Matt helped, but it didn’t make any of it go away. It’s still there dwelling in the back of her mind. She’s angry and stressed and feeling hopeless. The idea of standing in the same room as Pat Pridgen makes her feel physically ill. But what is she supposed to do? She can’t let him scare her out of her job. She loves her job, and she’s good at it. She’ll be damned if she lets him intimidate her into quitting.

Her phone buzzes and a text appears on the lock screen.

It’s Shay.

 _“I’m coming over_.”

Honestly, Sylvie didn’t know she needed Shay to come over until she read those words. But she does. She _needs_ her partner.

 _“Okay_.”

Leslie arrives a half hour later with a leather bound journal and a bottle of wine. She shoves the journal and Sylvie and steps across the threshold.

“What’s this?” Sylvie asks as she watches Leslie walk off to the kitchen. 

“My journal,” Leslie answers.

“You have a _diary_?” Sylvie asks with surprised glee.

“No, I’m not eleven.”

She chuckles and nods. “Fair enough. Why did you give this to me?”

“I bookmarked an entry for you to read.” That answer is vague but it’s all the answer Shay offers. “I’ll be in here pouring the wine while you do.”

Well, that’s not cryptic at all.

“Okay.”

Sylvie settles into the couch and opens up to the page marked by a bright yellow sticky note. As she reads, it dawns on her why Shay decided to show up _now_.

She stops and looks over at her kitchen where Shay stands with a glass of red in her hand.

“Casey told you,” she says, exhaling nervously. 

“Keep reading,” Leslie responds. “Then we’ll talk.”

She finishes the entry and feels _everything_. She wants to burn this entry, rip out the pages and set them on fire. She wants to hug Shay so tight she never lets go. She wants to yell at Casey for blabbing to Leslie but also wants to thank him because Sylvie needs her — especially after what she just read.

“Shay, I—“

“That was on my first day, my first call,” Shay explains, cutting her off. “That asshole patrol officer thought I was too new to make a scene or raise hell. Sadly, he was right. For a while anyway, but by the time I came forward he was months away from retirement and CPD slow walked it. They ‘noted’ it in his file in case anyone else came forward with similar issues but otherwise did _nothing_. I was _this close_ to quitting. The idea of having to work the same scene as him was nauseating. What if I responded to a call and he was there? What would I do? How would I act? It was terrifying.”

“How did you get through it?” Sylvie asks as Shay walks toward her and places a glass on the side table next to her.

“My partner at the time had been through it too. Hell, I think all women have. Talking to her helped. I also tried my damndest to take things one day at a time. I probably should have talked to an actual counselor but I wasn’t comfortable with that until very recently,” Leslie says as she sits down next to Sylvie and folds her legs underneath her. “I don’t know what you’re comfortable with or ready for but I just thought you should know...you’re not alone. I’m here.”

Sylvie throws her arms around Leslie, almost causing her to spill her wine. Shay stretches to set the glass down and then reciprocates the hug. They sit there for a while hugging each other tightly, taking encouragement from the comfort that’s freely given.

“I love and hate that you can be here for me during this,” Sylvie says quietly as they continue to embrace.

“I know exactly what you mean,” Shay replies, just as softly. “There’s comfort in numbers but I’d rather you not have been through this at all.”

“God, I am so glad you’re my partner.”

“Right back at ya, Farmgirl.”


	38. Watching You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt meets someone interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** We have reached the end of the Pridgen storyline! YAY! We’re getting closer and closer to the end of S3 and the start of S4! I’m so excited! 
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“And, baby, you look good all day, all night,_

_You look good (so fresh, so fine),_

_You look good,_

_Got everybody watching you,_

_Like cameras in Hollywood._

_Baby, you look good,_

_Aw, baby, you look good.”_

_-“You Look Good” by Lady A_

******

He ends up going on the bar crawl.

Shay and Severide’s expressions when he got home told him he’s been indulging in his slight crush on Sylvie Brett too much. He knows he only has feelings for her because of how they met. They will go away with time. He’s sure of it. What he needs is to meet someone else. Once he does that then he’ll know what he feels for Brett isn’t _real_. Whatever’s going on in his head will translate over to the next woman to really catch his eye.

It’s not about Brett. It’s about what she represents.

He hopes.

That hope is waning.

They’re on their second to last bar and so far no one has struck him as interesting. He’s gotten several numbers. Sure, Severide generously helped him get about half of them, but that’s why he’s here — to be Matt’s wingman.

“You gonna call any of those women?” Kelly asks with a knowing and amused smirk.

“Probably not,” he answers with a sigh. “None of them really stuck out to me. I feel like if I can barely remember their faces it means whatever connection we had was weak, you know?”

“The perfect woman doesn’t exist, Case.”

“I know that. I’m not looking for perfect,” he tells him. “Just... _interesting_.”

“Man, you’re making this too complicated,” Severide insists. “Just call one of those girls and get the first date over with. Get back on the horse.”

“If any of those women overheard you two calling them horses I think they’d probably prefer he didn’t call.”

He and Severide turn their heads to the stool on his other side to find a pretty brown eyed blonde smirking at them. 

“It’s a metaphor,” Severide tells her with an amused glance.

“Yes, I know what a metaphor is, thank you. I’m a reporter. I’m questioning your choice of that _particular_ metaphor,” she replies with a chuckle. She then turns her teasing gaze to Matt. “This is really the guy you chose for your wingman?”

Matt shrugs and gives her a small grin. “If you saw my other options, you’d understand why. He’s the lesser of all the evils.”

“Hey!” Kelly says with a mock offended glare. “You know what? Screw you. You’re on your own with this one and I’m keeping those numbers I helped you get.”

Casey laughs and pulls the stash of folded up cocktail napkins and business cards out of his jacket pocket. “Here, have at it.”

“What a waste,” Kelly mutters as he grabs his beer and walks away from them.

“Naomi Graham,” the blonde says as she holds out her hand to him for a shake.

He accepts her handshake with an easy smile. “Matt Casey.”

“So, why exactly are you and Mr. Horse Metaphors out trolling for women?” She asks. “You don’t seem like the type that would have to work too hard at that.”

Her eyes slowly sweep over him from head to toe with obvious appreciation. He takes that as an invitation to follow suit. She’s cute and, not to mention, ballsy. He likes that she isn’t pulling any punches. 

“I, uh, well, it’s been a while since I’ve been on a date,” he explains, trying to remain as vague as possible. “My choice. I had my reasons. But now I think I’m ready to get back out there so I’m trying to jump back in while I still have the nerve.”

“Ah, okay. Looking for Mrs. Right, huh?” She asks with a curious raised brow. Though, she looks a bit less interested than she did just a minute ago.

He shakes his head. “No. I don’t know what I’m looking for honestly. I don’t think I’m ready for anything serious at the moment. Though, I guess I’d have to try to find out.”

“That’s fair,” she says with a kind smile and a slow nod. “I travel a lot for work. I’m freelance so I write for whatever paper will have me. Makes it hard to meet people and even harder to have a relationship. But I’m fine with that. I prefer it that way. The only person I ever want to answer to is an editor.”

“Married to the job, then?” He asks, knowingly.

“Always have been, always will be,” she replies. “I’m damn good at it. Much better than I am at real life.”

“I know how that goes.”

“And what do you do, Matt Casey?”

“I’m a firefighter.”

“Like an _actual_ firefighter?” She asks in surprise. “Not just the kind that poses for steamy charity calendars?”

He laughs and nods. “Yeah, like an actual career firefighter with the CFD and, thankfully, one who’s never been a part of a calendar.”

Her gaze sizes him up again with a flirtatious smirk. “Too bad,” she tells him. “I’d actually buy that calendar.”

His eyes widen and he smiles grows as he watches her turn her head and down the last sip of her beer. Yeah, she’s ballsy, alright, and he’s all for it.

She sighs and glances down at her watch. “Listen, I have to go. I’m supposed to be meeting a contact in fifteen minutes--”

“At midnight?” He asks in concern.

“Oh, don’t you worry about me, Matt Casey,” she assures him confidently. “I’m a big tough girl. I can handle myself. My point, though, was that you intrigue me and maybe now isn’t the right time, but if you decide you don’t want something that takes itself too seriously--” she pauses and slides a business card across the bar to him. “--give me a call.” She pockets her phone and puts her jacket on as she stands up. “It was nice to meet you and, if you don’t call me, thanks anyway -- for the eye candy at least.”

“And thank you,” he replies with a chuckle. “You made this stop on the bar crawl worth it.”

She laughs and winks at him. “Happy to do what I can for our city’s everyday heroes.”

When she’s gone, he sits in contemplation and sips his beer. That encounter wasn’t entirely painful. There was certainly a bit of chemistry and interest there. (Though not as much he feels around a certain paramedic but he’s choosing to ignore that for now and allow himself a win.) Maybe he _can_ do this whole dating thing, afterall.

******

They all plan to do their best to avoid Pridgen next shift. Shay will keep Sylvie distracted and away from him if Matt can’t. Matt’s trying to focus on his incident reports and keeping his crew in line. With the exception of the morning briefing, he doesn’t set eyes on Pat Pridgen until he goes to the bullpen to use the copier. He just happens to be there when Welch heads into Pridgen’s office and shuts the door.

This cannot be good. 

For any of them.

He immediately seeks out Severide.

“Welch is in Pridgen’s office,” Matt says as he quietly steps into Severide’s quarters.

“Of course he is,” Severide says with a scoff. “Pridgen’s desperate. He tried to bribe me with a promotion this morning before the briefing. Wanted me to change my story. He’s always seen Welch as his plant. It makes sense he’d go to him next.”

“Is he?”

“Is he what?” Severide asks.

“Is Welch his plant?”

“As far as I know Welch is just a guy trying to do his job and work off his mistakes.” Kelly shrugs and sighs. “I know you don’t like him, but I’ve never gotten a bad vibe off of him unless he’s butting heads with you. Not while he’s been at 51, at least.”

The bells go off and their discussion is put on hold, but Kelly’s perspective on Welch helps. Matt knows he’s not good at letting things go. He holds a grudge. He tries to be the bigger person but, when someone’s hurt people he cares about, that bias is hard to get over. He’s never going to like Welch, but it’s possible Matt is seeing intention and malice where they really isn’t any. 

Welch may be an ass but that doesn’t mean he’s a villain.

They arrive on scene to find a car barrelled down a sidewalk full of people. It’s a mess. There are victims everywhere. A dozen over one block that they know of, but the patrol officer on scene says there may be more. She’s not entirely sure of the scope.

Casey and Severide decide to canvas the block with Truck and Squad leapfrogging ground as they go. Shay and Brett start triage. They all know this scene is going to keep ambo busy long after Truck and Squad return to 51. Twelve victims, maybe more, is a nightmare scenario.

Matt stops to help a woman and, out of the corner of his eye, sees Welch struggling with a wounded kid. 

His victim suddenly points and shouts, “Here he comes again!”

Casey can clearly see the driver and passenger scope out the kid Welch is trying to calm down and just as the kid breaks away from Welch the gunfire starts. 

Welch is in the literally middle of a drive by shooting. Matt’s instincts kick into high gear and he jumps. He knocks Welch to the ground, taking shelter behind a vehicle, and when it’s all over the kid Welch was trying to help suffers a fatal shot to the head.

He and Welch trade glances but nothing is said. 

Matt doesn’t need or expect a thank you.

So he goes back to work.

Hours later, as they arrive back at the house, his phone rings. It’s Chief Tiberg with some questions about the negligence claims Severide made against Pridgen. He asked a few questions that Matt could easily confirm and then one he couldn’t. He wanted to know what the girl on scene said to Pridgen. Matt had to tell him he couldn’t hear it. It was the truth.

As he’s catching Severide up on the phone call they both watch Welch walk back into Pridgen’s office.

Whatever Boden was going to do to help them out, Matt hopes he does quickly.

Things aren’t looking good for them at the moment.

A few minutes later the door slams and Welch storms out, headed for the bunkroom. He and Severide exchange curious looks and slowly follow him. That doesn’t seem like the reaction of a man on Pridgen’s good side.

“Welch,” Severide calls after him. “Where are you going?”

He ignores them and continues walking, just as Brett and Shay arrive back from the call. Brett’s brow furrows at the interaction and this time, she’s the one that follows Welch.

“Hey!” She calls as they all reach the locker room. “You may not owe them an explanation but you damn well owe me one. Where are you going?”

Severide’s brows raise and he covers a smirk by rubbing a hand over his chin. Matt doesn’t bother hiding his smirk, he wears it proudly. Brett will give anyone a second chance but if she does, she expects you to live up to it. This is her expecting Welch to live up to it.

Welch huffs and rips his locker door open. “He bounced me because I wouldn’t back him up about what happened on that call.” Welch then aims a glare at Matt. “I’m sure you’ll be happy to hear that I’ll be out of your hair in just a few minutes.”

Welch shoves his personal items in his duffle and they all watch in stunned silence.

“He bounced you because you refused to lie for him?” Matt asks.

“Yeah,” he snaps. 

“This may surprise you,” Casey says as he crosses his arms over his chest. “But I’m actually _not_ happy to hear that. You did us a solid. You don’t deserve to be bounced for that.”

Severide and Brett voice their agreement but Welch waves them off.

“I was a firefighter before Pat Pridgen became Chief. I’ll be one after he’s gone.”

“Still,” Matt says, holding out his hand for a shake. “Thanks.”

He accepts Matt’s handshake and then nods toward Brett. “I did it for her. Not you. I owed her after all the shit I accidentally put her through. But you’re welcome anyway, I guess.”

Brett steps forward and offers him a sad smile. “Good luck. And if you need anything--”

Welch chuckles and shakes his head at her in complete amazement. “You’re too nice. You know that, right?”

She bites her bottom lip with a sheepish grin. “I’m a firm believer in second chances. Maybe that makes me too nice, but you’re doing pretty well with yours so far. Too nice doesn’t mean I’m wrong.”

There’s a commotion in the hallway outside the bunkroom that catches their attention. 

“What the hell?” Severide asks as he leads them all toward the noise.

When they step out into the hall they see Pridgen, red faced and ranting, engaged in the tail end of an argument with Chief Tiberg and--

 _Boden_.

Pridgen’s eyes land on Brett as they arrive and the venom in his glare is intense.

“This is all because a little who--”

“I wouldn’t recommend finishing that sentence if I were you, Pridgen,” Boden says sternly, his eyes narrowing into a murderous stare.

“Your choices,” Tiberg tells Pridgen with one lifted brow. “Are to leave now and keep some of your pride or to be escorted from the building forcibly.”

Welch smirks and lifts a hand. “I’ll be happy to see him out, Chief. I’m on my way out now, actually.” Welch leans toward Brett and Casey, muttering out of the side of his mouth. “Looks like I’m not the only one being bounced today.”

Boden turns to Welch with a confused expression and then focuses again on Pridgen. “Did you dismiss Welch?”

“He was being insubordinate,” Pridgen declares.

“Well, seeing as this is no longer your house,” Tiberg tells him. “That’s not your decision to make. Let’s go.”

The house is stunned into silence.They watch with hopeful expressions as Tiberg walks a dejected looking Pridgen from the building and across the apparatus floor.

Shay joins them and grins smugly. “Tiberg and Boden marched in here like men on fire. Appropriate considering they just stripped Pridgen of his rank. I’ve never seen a grown man turn quite that shade of red before. That was much more satisfying than punching him ever could have been.”

Boden walks over to where they all stand but approaches Tommy Welch first.

“Insubordination?” Boden asks him.

“Pridgen wanted me to cover his ass,” Welch says truthfully. “I refused.”

Boden smirks and nods. “Put your gear away. Shift’s not over yet.”

“I’m not bounced?” Welch asks in shock.

“Not yet,” Boden answers. “You have a lot to prove around here, Welch, don’t get me wrong, but standing up for my house is always a good start.”

Matt can’t suppress a smile as he asks a very important follow up question. “Your house, Chief?”

He nods. “As of this moment, Pridgen has been relieved of his command and I am back where I belong.”

There’s a cheer from Herrmann, who stands a few feet away.

That cheer is followed by a statement from Otis. “First round of drinks are on the house at Molly’s tonight!”

Herrmann stops cheering and turns to glare at his business partner. “They’re _what_? Who said you could do that?”

Otis rolls his eyes and then shakes hands with Boden. “Trust us, we’re grateful to have you back, Chief.”

“Grateful to be back, Otis. Now, everybody get back to work! We still have 17 hours left in this shift and I will not have you all slacking off. Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been happier to get an order from Boden than I am right now,” Severide says as he claps Matt on the back. He grins at Welch and points over his shoulder to the locker room. “You heard the Chief. Put your shit back in your locker, man. Squad has drills to run and, turns out, that still includes you.”

Slowly everyone returns to work, leaving Casey standing in the hall next to Brett.

He gently bumps her shoulder with his. “You okay?”

She nods and breathes a deep sigh of relief. “51 feels like home again so yeah. Yeah, I’m _great_. I’m sure Boden will want to talk to me more formally about all of it later but for right now...I just want to enjoy the idea that all of this is behind us. I know I still have all of my Pete heartbreak to unpack and at some point I’ll need to actually report Pridgen plus I’m sure those rumors about us are still circulating in some corner of the CFD. But this moment right now feels like forward momentum. I want to keep it for a little while longer.”

Forward momentum. He likes the sound of that.

“Keep it as long as you want,” he encourages. “You deserve to move forward.”

She turns a warm smile on him and squeezes his arm. “We _both_ do.”


	39. Gonna Miss You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pete stops by 51.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** And this chapter marks the beginning of another storyline. After this storyline is the S3 finale/S4 Premier storyline! The closer we get to S4, the closer we get to this slow burn coming to a head! ;) I had a breakthrough on this yesterday so there’s now a definite timeline for Brettsey getting together! I hope you guys will like what I have in mind!
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“And I'm gonna miss you,_

_And I'm still there._

_Sometimes I wish we never built this palace,_

_But real love is never a waste of time.”_

_-”Palace” by Cam_

******

Celebrating the end of Pridgen at Molly’s led the girls back to Brett and Kidd’s for an afterparty of sorts. Brett told Stella what happened with Pridgen on the ride home. It wasn’t as emotional as the first two times she told it, especially now that Pridgen is out of power, but it still left her feeling vulnerable. From there her mind kept digging in, deeper and deeper, until her heartbreak over Pete finally had a chance to surface.

And now she’s crying as she closes their apartment door.

She’d compartmentalized everything to deal with Pridgen. She’s done that and now the floodgates are open on the break up.

“Oh no!” Stella says as she and Shay turn to face Sylvie. “What’s happening?”

“I’m remembering something,” she says through the tears clogging her throat.

“What?” Shay asks, putting an arm around her partner.

“Pete dumped me. I forgot because of--but now…”

“Wine,” Shay orders Stella. “Get the wine. Come on, lady, let’s go sit down.”

“He really dumped me because of a one night stand I had before I met him? And because Casey and I are still friends? That happened, didn’t it? I want you to say it didn’t but I know it did.” Brett rambles as she sits. She snatches a box of tissues off the coffee table and holds them in her lap. “I mean is it really that weird that Casey and I became friends after that?”

“For most people?” Shay says with a gentle smile and subtle nod. “Yes, but for you and Casey? No. You’re both extremely nice and easy to like. Never met two people who play by the rules and treat most everyone fairly the way you two do. So it makes sense. But Pete has a lot of history with Casey--”

“Yes, I’ve heard,” Brett says with an eyeroll and a sniffle. “Am I stupid for basically choosing my friendship with Casey over Pete?”

Stella places a wine glass in Brett’s hand and shakes her head. “No. Pete shouldn’t ask you to choose in the first place, and he knows that. That’s why he broke up with you. Think about it this way,” she says as she sits next to Sylvie and folds her legs under her. “He broke up with you because of his own damage. Not because of anything you did. But instead of trying to make it work and the two of you ending up resenting each other, he called it. And maybe because of that you two can be friends again at some point.”

“Well said,” Shay agrees with a nod. “I think Stella is completely right. In the long run, this will be better for you both. But we get that it sucks and we are here for you while you cry through it. Okay?”

Sylvie nods and takes in a shaky breath. “Thank you.”

“Come here,” Shay says as she sits down on her other side and pulls Sylvie into a hug. “You’re one of the best people I know, Farmgirl. You’ll find someone who sees how good you are and refuses to let you go. It just might take a little time, that’s all.”

“And settling for the first guy that made you feel supported sometimes isn’t the way to go,” Stella tells her. “I mean look at me and Grant. I owe him a lot for helping me through some tough shit when I was a kid. He saw potential in me when no one else did. But despite that we still ended up in an unhealthy relationship. He’s had plenty of chances to change and he never does. Instead of calling it like Pete did, Grant is holding on tighter. And at this point, I don’t see any way out that allows me to keep that guy that used to be my best friend. I wish Grant could take a step back like Pete did and make the decision that’s best for both of us. So, in a way, you’re lucky.”

“I guess,” Sylvie mutters. “I don’t feel lucky, though. I feel _awful_.”

“Of course you do,” Shay says, squeezing her tighter. “At the end of the day, it’s a break up and those are hard. But you’re strong and ridiculously brave. Give it a little time and you’ll be fine.” She glances across Sylvie to meet Stella’s eyes. “The same goes for you. You’re both badasses who deserve more and someday you’ll find it.”

“And someday you’ll be a mom,” Sylvie assures her, folding her arms around Shay in return. “Clearly, you’ll be amazing at it. This is a mom hug if I’ve ever had one.”

Leslie laughs and kisses the top of Brett’s head. “I love you guys.”

“We love you too,” Stella replies.

“You know what we should do?” Shay says as she pulls back from the hug to look at Brett. “We should go out on the town. Just the three of us. We could go drinking and dancing and forget all the ways life sucks for a night.”

Sylvie’s eyes widen and a bright smile forms on her lips. “Yes! That’s brilliant! I would love that! Dancing and meeting new people! That could be so much fun!”

They both turn pleading glances over to Stella, who laughs and nods. “Of course I’m in! A night out with you two? Sounds legendary!”

“Oh!” Brett says as she suddenly stands from the couch. “Let’s start planning! I’m so excited!”

She runs off to get her laptop in a much better mood than she was just a few minutes ago. Genuinely, she loves her friends. She never wants to imagine her life without them.

******

Casey is headed into the house for his first full Pridgen-free shift when Severide catches up with him as they walk in.

“How’d that job meeting go yesterday?” Kelly asks.

Casey nods. “Good. I’m still working on my bid, but it would be a rare stroke of luck to get this indoor renovation in the middle of winter. Especially for what this guy’s wanting to get done. A much needed extra payday. And, get this, the owner of the club was a firefighter. Jack Nesbitt. He said he was at Wabash for seven years.”

“Huh, that’s cool. Should work out in your favor, right?” 

“I hope so. Hey, was that Rice I saw leaving our place this morning?” Casey asks.

“Yeah, he says he’s ready. It’s too bad we don’t have a spot here. I’d offer it to him, no questions asked,” Severide says with a shake of his head.

“You should talk to Boden,” Matt suggests. “We don’t have anything but there might be a spot at another house he can float to. Even temporarily.”

“That was my plan,” Kelly agrees. “I think Rice really needs this so I’m hoping I can pull some strings somewhere. It’s too bad the powers that be won’t give me a five man squad.”

“Maybe they’ll give you a trial run with it one day,” Matt says encouragingly. “A five man Rescue Squad would be useful.”

“You can say that again,” Kelly agrees as they reach the apparatus floor. “Did you ever call that Naomi chick?”

“No,” he answers with a wince. “I got the call about this job and forgot. I’m still trying to rebuild the business after I dropped the ball last year. This job may be just the one I need to get me going again. If I get this job then dating may have to wait until after it’s done.”

“Jesus, Case,” Severide says with a dry chuckle. “All you do is work. You know you have to find a life eventually, right?”

“Let me save my construction business first,” he replies with a roll of his eyes. “ _Then_ I’ll find a life.”

They pass the girls leaving the locker room as they head in. Brett looks much more relaxed and certainly happier. He’s glad for it. They overhear a bit of their conversation as they pass. Stella’s saying something about a black dress in the back of her closet, which catches Severide’s attention.

“A _little_ black dress?” He asks with a raised brow.

“What’s it to you?” Stella asks with a smirk.

“Nothing,” he says, trying and failing to look uninterested. “Where are you planning on going in this dress?”

“Dancing!” Sylvie exclaims, excitedly. “We’re going shopping after shift. My wardrobe is still a little too ‘farmgirl chic’ according to Shay.”

Matt chuckles and shakes his head. “Sounds like Shay.”

Sylvie nods and shrugs. “She’s right though. My wardrobe could use a little revamping, and I’ve always wanted one of those little black dresses. There’s not really a reason to have one in Fowlerton.”

He gulps down air as he tries _not_ to think about the potential of Sylvie in a little black dress. This conversation is not helping him move on from his crush. And that’s all it is. A silly ridiculous crush. Because the idea of it being more than that is a _horrible_ idea. Especially right now.

“Well, have fun,” Matt says, clearing his throat. “I should go change out.”

He hustles away from the group, praying he didn’t hustle _too fast_. His feelings being obvious to Shay and Severide is one thing, but he’d rather Sylvie and Stella stay clueless.

He and Kelly get changed out. Kelly heads to Boden’s office to talk to him about Rice and Matt goes to his quarters to get settled in for the day. But he doesn’t have too much time. They get a call before they’ve even had a chance to have their morning briefing. A vehicle accident, the call says.

They get to the scene and it’s a parking garage. Guy’s accelerator got stuck and he ran into a fresh slab of concrete, causing a collapse on top of his van. They’ve got a trapped victim and a quickly escalating situation.

In the end, it was gonna take too long to reinforce the slab of concrete so Kelly climbs in, gets the victim, and pulls him out the back. He gets out just before the van collapses. It’s a harrowing call but they all escape unscathed. It’s one of the many examples of why Casey believes 51 is the best house in the CFD, no matter how the brass disagrees. He works with capable talented people and he’s thankful for that every day.

******

Not long after Ambo gets back from the call, Sylvie is heading to the kitchen for the late breakfast Stella’s cooking when she literally bumps into a wide pair of shoulders. Familiar hands brace her arms and keep her upright.

“Sorry, I was in a hurry and wasn’t watching where I was--”

Sylvie blinks in surprise before finally looking up. “Pete?”

He clears his throat awkwardly and steps back from her. “Hey, Sylvie.”

“What are you--what are you doing here? Not that you’re not welcome, you’re totally welcome. I just wasn’t expecting to, uh--” She stops herself and takes a deep breath, gathering her wits. “What brings you to 51?”

“I need to talk to Boden,” Pete answers with a strained smile. “I heard he’s thinking about permanently filling Welch into my old Squad spot and I thought he needed to know I have a medical eval scheduled for the end of the week.”

Her eyes widen. “End of the week? Pete! That’s great! Does that mean your vertigo symptoms are--”

He beams at her and nods. “Totally gone. Been running drills with the guys at 105 and I haven’t had a dizzy spell in weeks. No issues climbing ladders either. I’m ready. I just have to get a doc to sign off on it, first.”

“That’s amazing!” She says with a bright smile. Even if they’re broken up, she’s ecstatic for him. He’s a phenomenal medic but she knows Squad is where his heart lies. An injury shouldn’t take that form him forever. “Don’t let me keep you,” she says motioning him forward. “Go talk to Boden. I’m sure he’ll be glad to see you.”

They trade soft encouraging smiles before he walks away. She spots him quickly looking back over his shoulder at her one time and chuckles. Well, that started awkward, but it didn’t end that way. She doesn’t relish the idea of working every shift with her ex-boyfriend but she genuinely hopes he gets his medical clearance. He deserves it. Even if they aren’t together anymore, she can acknowledge that.

She continues on her way into the common room and sits down at the long table between Casey and Shay.

“Was that Mills?” Matt asks her in concern.

She nods. “Yeah, he came by to talk to Boden. Honestly, the first significant post break up run-in went much better than I expected. We ran into him on call a while back but that happened so quickly I didn't count it. This time we weren’t dropping patients off at Med. I stammered around at first, but we pulled it together by the end.”

“Good,” Shay says with a nod and an encouraging smile. “That’s one end of the relationship milestone you don’t have to stress about anymore.”

“There are _end_ of the relationship milestones?” Sylvie asks, sounding as horrified as she feels.

“There are when you’re also colleagues,” Matt says with a halfhearted grin. “You’ll be fine. You made it through the first one and that seems to have gone pretty well.”

Well, that’s depressing. What _are_ the other milestones? Great. Now she’s going to be thinking about _this_ all day.

Matt bumps her shoulder and nods toward the doors to the app floor. “Our breakfast isn’t ready yet, but Pouch’s is. Wanna give me a hand?”

She loves that dog. Like there was ever any chance of her saying no?

Matt feeds the dog and then they both take a seat in folding chairs just next to 81. 

“You okay?” He asks. “Really?”

She smiles warmly at him, touched by his concern, and nods. “ _Really._ I’m fine.”

He mimics her nod. “Good.” There’s a beat of silence and then he mercifully changes the topic. “So, I might have a new job. You’ll never guess where.”

“Where?” She asks curiously. “I’m not guessing if you don’t think I’ll ever get it.”

He chuckles. “Fair enough. Stilettos.”

“Stilettos,” she says slowly as she rolls the name around in her brain. “That sounds like a strip club.” She gasps and laughs loudly before turning a pointed delighted glance at Matt. “Oh my god, it is a strip club!”

“Gentleman's club is the _preferred_ term, I believe,” he says through a quiet chuckle. “In the middle of winter, beggars can’t be choosers.”

“You know if Otis and Cruz find out they’re not going to leave you alone until you hire them to help, right?” She asks. She’s glad he told her this. It’s doing an excellent job of distracting her from Pete.

“Then let’s not tell them,” Matt replies with a scoff. “I don’t have the job yet and I’d rather not worry about that until I have to.”

She laughs again and realizes it feels _good_ to laugh. She’s not had much to laugh about lately, but sitting here with Matt is just the escape she needs.


	40. In Repair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kidd, Shay, and Brett have their girls’ night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** Sorry this took so long to post. Been meaning to post since Monday but things got crazy and then I started an epic one shot so I lost track of things. Anyway, hopefully you guys enjoy this chapter! Matt gets his first glimpse of a new (to him) side of Brett in this one. ;)
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“Oh, it's taken so long,_

_I could be wrong, I could be ready,_

_Oh, but if I take my heart's advice,_

_I should assume it's still unsteady._

_Oh yeah, I'm never really ready,_

_I’m in repair,_

_I’m not together,_

_But I’m getting there.”_

_-”In Repair” by John Mayer_

******

The rest of shift was fairly quiet except for a call for Squad and Ambo. Even that was a simple rescue with a slight head injury. While they’re gone Boden stops by his quarters to tell him he got a call for a recommendation from Jack Nesbitt. The teasing that started with Sylvie continues with Boden, but he tells him he gave him a glowing recommendation. So, that’s something he can claim as his good news for the day. 

Squad was a little later getting back than Ambo, Matt noticed. When they do get back Kelly looks dejected and frustrated, but he doesn’t want to talk about it. Both Matt and Shay know when to push and when to let him deal with things on his own and this isn’t a time where Severide needs a push.

Shay leaves with Sylvie and Stella -- no doubt to do that shopping they talked about -- and Matt gets distracted again imagining Sylvie in a little black dress.

Nope.

Not going there.

He finishes up his bid for Nesbitt and stops by a small renovation job to check on the work his electrician completed yesterday and then goes home to rest.

Shay comes home a few hours after him, arms loaded with shopping bags. 

“Where’s Kelly?” She asks.

“Hanging out with Rice I think,” Matt answers as he turns on Sports Center.

“The fact that he had friends before us is weird,” Shay says with a chuckle. “He’s such a lone wolf sad sack most of the time.”

Casey laughs and opens his beer. “So are you. Seems to me that’s why the two of you get along so well.”

“I was not always a sad sack,” Leslie counters. “Or a lone wolf.”

“And I bet neither was he.”

“Touché.”

“How’s the girls night planning going?” He asks with a smirk. 

“Aside from Otis and his horrendous club suggestions, great. Gonna set my straight friends up with some guys while we’re out and hopefully find a hot chick for myself.”

“Why is it that you can call women hot chicks and men can’t?” Matt asks her with a crooked smile.

Leslie dumps her shopping bags by the breakfast bar and then grabs a beer from the fridge for herself, addressing his question as she walks. “Because I do it with loving respect and men do it with condescension.” He can’t exactly refute that argument. It’s true. “Didn’t Sev take you on a bar crawl to find women the other night? How’d that go?”

He shorts derisively. “Good for him. Not so great for me. Out of all the women we met, I only found one even remotely interesting.”

“Did you call her?” Shay asks as she sits down next to him.

“No, I got this meeting for a job and started working on that. I nearly ran my construction business into the ground after...Gabby.” He sighs and takes another slow sip before continuing. “This job could save it. If I can get into commercial renovations instead of residential -- well, that’s good money. I can always use good money.”

Leslie’s hums in response and he gets the impression she doesn’t believe him.

“Or,” she says. “You’re avoiding moving on and using work to do it just like you have been for months. You’ve just picked your _other_ business to focus on this time.”

“That’s not what this is,” he disagrees. “I do want to move forward. I’m just not entirely sure what I want or what going after that looks like.”

She nods and glances at him out of the corner of her eye. “Could it be that you want someone you think you shouldn’t want? Is that maybe what’s holding you up?”

Busted. Officially this time.

“If that was it, and I’m not saying it is, it’ll probably pass. It might be some sort of weird emotional transference thing and not worth ruining what I have with the person I _hypothetically_ want.”

“ _Hypothetically_ what kind of weird emotional transference thing are we talking about?” Leslie asks with a furrowed brow.

“Well, if said person was the first person I slept with after a tragedy, wouldn’t it make sense that I am _hypothetically_ feeling something for her now? Wouldn’t that mean I’m projecting on to someone familiar or latching on to someone I have a history with?” He’s thinking through it as he asks these questions. They make sense to him but he’s never bounced them off of anyone else before.

“You mean like a rebound?” Shay asks. “I mean, maybe. But isn’t that a reason why _you should_ call this woman from the bar crawl? If you have an actual rebound it should tell you more about what you’re _hypothetically_ feeling for this person you think you shouldn’t want.”

He takes a deep breath and releases it slowly. He’d had that thought too but then talked himself out of it. “What if I’m afraid of the answer?”

“Of course you’re afraid of the answer,” Shay says with a shrug. “You’ve been through a lot in a short time, Casey. Emotions are messy and hard. Wanting a break from them is okay. But don’t lie to yourself and say you need to focus on work. Straight up say you need an emotional time out. You don’t have to rush your re-entry into dating. You dipped a toe in, right?”

“Yeah,” he answers as he stares at Leslie thoughtfully.

“And that turned out okay, right? You didn’t die or make a fool out of yourself or anything?”

He scoffs and grins at her. “No, as much as you would have liked that, I didn’t.”

“You’re not wrong. I love a good humiliating story. Look, you proved to yourself you _can_ do it. Maybe for right now, that’s enough?” Shay asks with an encouraging smile. “You don’t have to magically have your shit together all of a sudden. I know I don’t.”

She’s right. It’s okay to be a mess sometimes. He feels a weight lift off his shoulders and the pressure he’d been putting on himself releases.

“Thanks, Shay,” he tells her with a genuine smile.

“Anytime. I’m always willing to give advice even if I suck at following it myself.”

******

The next night, he and Severide are at Molly’s. It’s a relatively quiet night at the bar. Shay keeps occasionally texting Severide updates on the girls night out, which he shares with Matt. Stella and Sylvie are clearly drunk, but they all seem to be having a good time.

“Good for them,” Severide says with a nod. “If anybody needs to blow off steam it’s Brett and Kidd. Has Stella divorced that deadbeat ex of hers yet?”

Matt shrugs. “Not that I’ve heard, but to be honest I don’t ask much. Shay probably knows more about it than I do. I try to treat Stella the same as my other Truck guys so I don’t really dive into the personal drama all that much. Not unless it might be affecting the job and as far as I can tell Kidd rarely lets anything get in the way of the job.”

The door opens and Severide looks up with a hopeful expression.

“You waiting on someone?” Matt asks. “Your buddy Rice?”

“Nah, Rice doesn’t go out much these days,” Severide says dismissively.

Suddenly Matt registers that Mills has approached them. Matt shares a polite nod with him but otherwise pretends the last exchange they had couldn’t be boiled down to fighting over Sylvie. He focuses on Severide, thankfully.

“Hey, Lieutenant, you got a sec?”

The use of Severide’s title indicates this is work related and, given that Mills was at the house the other day, Matt has a feeling he knows what this is about. Severide and Peter walk away to a nearby table. Casey works hard not to listen in. It ends badly with Pete storming out of the bar and Severide shaking his head in frustration.

“Let me guess,” Matt says as Kelly sits back down. “He asked about his old spot on Squad?”

“I get that he was derailed by injury and it’s not his fault, but Welch has a lot of ground to make up for and he needs this. The guy is working his ass off to earn the house’s respect and it shows. I don’t want to boot him.”

Matt nods his agreement. “Mills worked his ass off to get where he was too, though, and he’s been a team player and stuck around the CFD as a medic. Not everybody would have done that.”

“I know,” Kelly says with a tired sigh. “I’m the one who encouraged him to go for Squad in the first place. I like the kid. I do. But is there a point to even having this discussion until he actually knows if he’s cleared? Plus, the way he ended things with Brett kind of pisses me off. I mean, he really ended it over ancient history Brett had nothing to do with? That’s ridiculous.”

Matt chuckles dryly at him. “So, you’ll keep the guy on Squad who spread the news around 105 instead of hiring the guy who reacted badly to it?”

“No, it doesn’t factor into the decision. I’m just saying, the guy’s not exactly on my good side right now. Welch apologized to Sylvie and he almost lost his job trying to save yours so he has a few more brownie points than Mills at the moment.”

“I see I’m not the only one fond of Brett.” Matt smirks at Kelly and knocks his beer bottle against his. 

“Except I’m fond of her like a sister I’m pretty convinced you’re interested in a little more than that,” Kelly says with a knowing glance and a wag of his eyebrows. “We met all those women the other night and you only looked at _one_ twice. What reason is there for that other than you’re already caught up in someone else?”

“Even if I was, that doesn’t mean it’s the right time for it,” Matt answers vaguely.

“Maybe not,” Kelly says as he glances at the door one last time. “But feelings don’t give a shit about timing. Trust me on that one.”

As if cued by the Universe, the door to Molly’s bursts open and three laughing women stumble in. Sylvie looks up and spots him immediately. Matt almost laughs at the beaming smile she points at him. Even drunk, Sylvie is an irrepressible ball of sunshine.

“We’re here!” Stella announces. “The party can begin.”

She takes a dramatic bow and nearly falls over, but Severide quickly catches her.

“Whoa there, Kidd,” he says with a laugh. “Maybe you should sit down.”

“You know, I think maybe I should sit down.”

“Good idea,” Kelly says as he leads Stella to the barstool he recently vacated. 

Matt’s glad Pete came and went. The last thing Brett needs is to see him while she’s drunk. Drinking and exes don’t mix.

“You’re here!” Brett exclaims as she wanders over to Matt. “Shay said you would be! And here you are!”

“Yeah, I’m here,” Matt replies with a smirk. 

“They were this close to dancing on top of tables,” Shay says with a bemused grin. “I had to wrangle them out of there and somewhere a little more controlled.”

“Why aren't you as drunk as they are?” Severide asks her suspiciously. 

“Because Shay!” Sylvie starts with a wicked grin and a pointed accusing finger. “Spent most of the night making out with a girl in the dark shadowy corner of the club! And she thought we were too drunk to notice!”

“But we did notice! Despite being drunk!” Stella chimes in with a nod. “Did you get her number? I hope you got her number.”

“Oh, I got her number alright,” Shay tells them, not a single hint of shame on her face. “And I will definitely be making good use of it.”

“And!” Stella says excitedly. “I met this guy named Paul--”

“No!” Sylvie yells, reaching across Matt and Severide to grab Stella’s shoulders. “Don’t do it! His name starts with a P! And it has four letters! Like Pete! _Never_ date a guy who’s name starts with P! It’s gonna end bad. _Trust me_.”

“Well, that sort of eliminates a lot of possibilities,” Stella says with a pouty expression as she crosses her arms across her chest, pulling out of Sylvie’s hold.

“Does it though?” Severide asks her teasingly. “How many guys’ names actually start with P?”

She closes one eye and turns the other up toward the ceiling as she starts thinking and ticking off the names on her fingers. “There’s Pete and Paul, of course, and then...Parker! Um, Philip! I know it doesn’t sound like a P, but it’s a P! Patrick! Parker! No, wait, I already said Parker. Let me start over!”

Shay shakes her head and shoves Kelly as he starts laughing. “Look what you did, you jerk! She’s gonna be listing the same five names over and over for the rest of the night now.”

“We have to work tomorrow,” Sylvie tells Matt, as if he doesn’t already know this.

“Yes, we do.”

“And I am _drunk_.”

He chuckles and nods slowly. “Yes, you are.”

“This was a _bad_ decision.”

“Probably.”

“But it was fun! I danced and I drank and I flirted! Do you know how many guys you can flirt with when you’re single?” She asks him. Her voice cracks and she clears her throat. Matt motions to Otis and orders her a water. “Oh! Thank you! You’re such a gentleman, Matt Casey. To answer my earlier question... _all of them_. I can flirt with all of them! Cause I am single. Unattached. A spinster. And eventually I’ll be an _old maid_.” She drags out the word ‘old’ in a sing-song tone that has him pressing his lips together to keep from laughing. 

God, drunk Sylvie Brett is a delight.

“You’re not gonna be an old maid,” Matt assures her.

“You don’t know that!” She says pointing her finger again. At him, this time. “I mean guys are more than happy to flirt with me when I look like _this_ \--” she pauses, stands up from her stool and twirls slowly. Showing off her little black dress that has a dangerously short skirt and absolutely no back. He swallows thickly and forces himself not to look at her any longer than necessary. “--but when they actually get to know me they can’t get away fast enough! Unless they’re my friend, _like you_. You are basically my best friend. Did you know that? I’m almost certain you’re my _person_. But platonic, of course, cause I am a mess and dating is torture. I’m swearing it off!”

She sweeps her hand dramatically and it hits him in the chest. He’s more stunned than hurt. It almost forces him to release the laugh he’s been desperately withholding since she walked through the door.

“Oop, sorry!” She says sheepishly. “No more dating! Or men! I went from engaged to hiding from my ex to being in a pretty serious relationship in a period of weeks. That was a worse decision than going out drinking the night before shift! What I needed then and _still need_ now is some time to myself! I’ll be single for a little while now so that I don’t turn into an old maid later! That makes sense, right?”

“Woo hoo! Me too!” Stella cheers. “Let’s do it! We’ll swear off men together! Yuck! Who needs them anyway.”

“Unless, it’s to kill a spider,” Brett amends. She turns to Matt suddenly. “Oh! Or! To fix a front door! And maybe hang some floating shelves.”

“Okay, okay, yes, with _some_ exceptions -- _Who needs men anyway?”_ Stella exclaims, trying again.

“Not me,” Shay replies with a dry smirk. “But I’m a lesbian so…that makes sense for me. You ladies ready to go home, yet? Or are we waiting on another joint proclamation?”

Sylvie and Stella trade questioning glances and then shake their heads in unison.

“Nope,” Sylvie answers. “I think we’re done!”

They leave as loud and clumsy as they entered, pouring into the cab Shay called while Stella and Sylvie were ranting to Matt and Kelly. Once they’re gone the two men share shell shocked but amused glances.

“What just happened?” Kelly asks him with a muted laugh.

“I have no idea,” Matt replies, chuckling quietly.

Except he does know. He remembers every moment of it. Sylvie called him her _person_. Her _platonic_ person. What exactly does that mean? Nothing good for how he feels about her, he’s sure. Not that he was ever planning to act on those feelings. He also wonders if she’ll stick by that promise to swear off men. If she does then he may not be the only one taking an emotional time out, as Shay called it. That shouldn’t make him feel better, but...for some reason it does.

He decides not to think too deeply on _why_ it helps. He’s afraid of what he’ll find if he does.


	41. Hungry for a Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shay and Herrmann struggle with a heartbreaking call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** This chapter is entirely based on 3x18 and since I’m doing a whole episode in one chapter it’s a bit longer than usual. I’m afraid if you’ve watched the ep recently some of it might feel redundant but I couldn't see a way to achieve the ending I wanted without rehashing some of the events. 
> 
> Anyway! Hope you all like it! Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“Maybe I see a part of me in them,_

_The missing piece always trying to fit in._

_The shattered heart,_

_Hungry for a home._

_No, you're not alone._

_I love the broken ones.”_

_-”The Broken Ones” by Dia Frampton_

******

“So,” Sylvie says as they meet up outside of the firehouse before shift. “I hear you got the strip club job? Sorry, _gentleman’s_ club.”

He chuckles and nods. “Yes, I did.”

“Great! You should pick a stage name. I hear everyone who works there has one,” she replies teasingly.

“I should never have told you about this job,” Matt says with a laugh and a shake of his head.

“Maybe not. You’re too fun to tease,” she admits. “But seriously, congrats. I know it’s a big deal for you and your business. 

“Thank you,” he says. “It is.”

“Brett!”

They both turn to find Severide running up to them. She gives Kelly an expectant glance. “Yes?”

“I need some advice,” Severide says, blowing out a nervous breath. 

“From me? About what?” Brett asks.

“I’m trying to get an old friend to forgive me for something that happened years ago and she’s being a little--”

“Wait,” Sylvie says, holding out her hands to cut him off. “She? Who’s this _she_?”

Kelly releases a sigh and rolls his eyes. “An old friend from high school.”

“A friend? Or a _friend_?”

“What’s the difference?” He asks.

“One is the kind of friend you did homework with and the other is the kind of friend you made out with. Which was she?”

“Does it matter?” He asks.

“If you want accurate advice? Yes. Otherwise, no.”

The hands on her hips and the cheeky grin on her face make Matt laugh lightly. “She’s got a point.” Matt adjusts the strap of his shoulder and waves at both of them. “I’ll leave you guys to figure this out. I still need to change out.”

Matt makes his way through the house, headed for the lockers, he passes Kidd on the way. 

“Hey, Lieutenant, have you seen Brett?” She asks.

“Yeah, Severide cornered her for some advice about a girl,” Matt tells her with snort.

“A girl, huh?” Stella asks. 

Something about the look on Stella’s face makes Matt wish he hadn’t told her that last part. But that’s ridiculous. Stella’s still married and Severide is single. Matt has no reason to feel guilty. He has enough drama of his own to figure out.

Matt nods. “They were on the app floor last time I checked.”

“Thanks!” Stella calls as he turns and walks away from her.

Sometimes, the less he knows then the better off he is. Especially when it comes to his Truck crew.

******

“Brett!”

She almost huffs in frustration. How many people are going to need her today? Don’t get her wrong she loves being needed, but she hasn’t even made it to her locker yet. She’s just finished giving Severide advice when Stella’s voice reaches her ears.

“Oh, hey, Severide,” Stella says as she approaches. As if she didn’t notice the large well-built Squad Lieutenant standing next to Sylvie. 

“Kidd,” he says with a nod.

“So,” Kidd says as she turns away from him to focus on Brett. “I think I’m gonna call that guy Paul.”

“From Bubble Lounge?” Sylvie asks in surprise. “I thought you said you only liked him cause you were drunk?”

“I don’t know. I got to thinking about it and how do I know that for sure unless we go out when we’re sober?” Stella asks her.

Severide fidgets as if he’s uncomfortable but doesn’t move. He blinks between Stella and Sylvie in surprise.

“Wait,” he says with a furrowed brow. “You’re actually dating? I thought you swore off men? And aren’t you still married?”

“Grant’s finally talking settlement,” She tells Severide. “Not that we have much considering I’m the only one of us that bothered to work, but whatever. As for swearing off men, I was drunk! You can’t hold me to the decision I made while drunk!”

“So, you’re ready to really start dating again?” Sylvie asks in concern.

“Ready to try, at least,” Stella answers. “And why not try with Paul?”

Severide scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Yeah, cause a date with a total stranger you met at a club is a great idea.”

“How is that any different from you and Casey trolling the bars the other night?” Stella asks with a glare. “Yes, Shay told me about that.”

Sylvie has a feeling they’ve both completely forgotten she’s still standing there. She takes one step backward and waits for them to call her back. When they don’t, she takes another step.

“It’s totally different! For one, I took their numbers. What kind of sketchy guy gives a girl their number instead?” Kelly asks Stella as he crosses his arms over his chest.

“The kind that isn’t a part of the patriarchy! And doesn’t expect me to conform to ridiculous gender stereotypes!”

Sylvie takes one more slow step and then makes a break for it. She enters the locker room just as Matt is leaving and he raises a brow at her shocked face.

“What happened?” He asks.

“I have no idea, but Kidd and Severide are ripping into each other out on the apparatus floor. I could be wrong but I _think_ there might be some jealousy happening on _both_ sides,” Sylvie informs him with a wince.

“Thanks for the heads up,” Matt says as he parrots her wince. “I think I’ll stay in my quarters for the time being.”

The bells go off and Sylvie throws back her head with a groan. “I haven’t even made it to my locker yet! Why do I feel like today is going to be a terrible day?”

She throws her duffle on her bunks and then they both make the run to their rigs. As she climbs in the driver’s side, she and Leslie both get a good glimpse of red faced Stella and Kelly.

“What’s with them?” Shay asks as Sylvie pulls away from the house.

“I feel like we’re probably better off not knowing,” Sylvie answers with a weak grin.

The call is a residential fire with the home already fully engulfed. They arrive as a man is coming out and he tells them his son is still upstairs. The house is so far gone that there’s barely time for a primary search. In the end, Herrmann has to bail out dramatically but gets the save.

She and Shay get the baby in the back of the ambulance but he’s got bad inhalation burns and they have a terrible time getting the little guy intubated. Sylvie drives while Shay stays in the back with him. He’s so tiny and it’s heartbreaking. 

They get the baby, Alec, to the hospital and hand him off to the doctors. They hang around until they can get a status update from a doctor. Shay seems deeply invested and they both know that the guys at the house will want to know too. It’s scary watching a child who’s so small go through any of this, but Brett keeps reminding Shay that it’s all in an effort to give Alec his best chance.

Herrmann asks for an update the minute they arrive back at the house.

Shay shakes her head and releases a shaky breath. “I don’t know.”

Sylvie wraps an arm around her partner’s shoulders and gives the update for her. “He’s on a ventilator. There’s damage to his lungs and trachea, but the doctors are optimistic.”

She knew she told Matt she thought today was going to be a bad day, but she didn’t mean for it to be _this_ bad.

******

While writing up his report on the scene, he questions Herrmann. It’s clear to him that Herrmann disregarded the chief’s order to evacuate the scene but considering it resulted in saving the life of a child Matt can’t say he cares too much. He should because it means Herrmann defied a direct order but Herrmann’s a father and Casey knows him. There’s no way in hell Herrmann is ever leaving a child behind in a burning building if he can help it.

After that, they’re called into Boden’s office and find Burgess and Roman waiting for them. They have a few questions and by the time they’re done it’s clear Alec’s father is no innocent victim. He likely started the fire due to negligence on top of being just a shitty parent who literally blew smoke in his child’s face. Smoke from dangerous and highly illegal drugs. The pipe he was using is one that burns hot and stays hot and was very likely the cause of the fire.

Now, the father has checked himself out of the hospital and vanshined.

Herrmann is irate and Matt can’t blame him. He rants about the situation to the whole house and they all share his sentiment, but Matt is worried about him. He pulls him aside to ask and winds up being talked into taking the Truck Company to canvas the neighborhood where the fire took place. 

It’s Herrmann’s old neighborhood and he thinks he can get information that Roman and Burgess won’t be able to get on their own. Supposedly, it’s a wasted trip because Herrmann says he came away from it with nothing but Casey isn’t so sure he believes him. He can see that Herrmann is taking this incredibly personally. He worries Herrmann might let his temper get the better of him.

They get another call while they’re out about a street race gone wrong in a warehouse. They arrive to find a girl pinned by a vehicle with the driver still inside. Herrmann’s edgier than normal and verbally aggressive with the driver. Matt quickly swivels to give him a task. He puts Stella under the vehicle to get the girl cut free from the base of the car. 

It lights up and Stella barely gets away unscathed, but she manages to cut where they needed to cut. They get the fire out and the girl free. Brett and Shay take her to the hospital while they free the driver and hand him off to a second ambo. Herrman is distracted and aggravated the entire time.

Mouch’s take on Herrmann confirms his worries and he tells his guys to stick with him so he knows he’s not alone.

It’s been a hell of a day. As night settles in, Casey’s more than happy to lock himself in his quarters for a bit of peace.

******

Shay’s not in her bunk when Sylvie wakes up in the middle of the night. Neither is Stella.

Sylvie finds them both drowning their sorrows in a huge tub of ice cream in the common room.

“Hey!” She says with a playful glare. “You got out the ice cream and didn’t invite me?”

“You were asleep,” Shay tells her. “We weren’t.”

Sylvie walks over to the kitchen and grabs herself a spoon before forcing Shay to slide over and joining them on the couch. “Are you talking about how Stella yelled at Severide today?”

Shay’s eyes widen and her grin tilts. “No, we were not but now we’re gonna.”

“He was being a jerk,” Stella replies as she stabs her spoon into the tub. “He goes out with random girls all the time. It’s a double standard to say I can’t call _one guy_ I met at the club. He doesn’t have any right to tell me what to do.”

“Yeah but the last time we talked about it, you said you weren’t interested in Paul,” Sylvie points out. “So why the sudden change of heart?”

“That’s a very good question,” Shay agrees. “Could it possibly be because Severide’s old friend April is back in the picture?”

Sylvie nods her silent agreement before both she and Shay stare at Stella expectantly.

Stella huffs and groans while swallowing a large spoonful of ice cream. “Fine,” she says when she’s done. “Maybe it made me a little crazy. I mean while I’m married he brings me flowers and kinda sorta breaks into my house--” Stella stops abruptly with wide eyes. “I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone about that.”

Shay and Sylvie both wave dismissive hands at her.

“We already knew all about that,” Sylvie tells her.

“But we’re the _only ones_ that do,” Shay tells her with a warning glare.

“Believe me, I don’t plan on telling anyone,” Kidd admits. “My point is, he makes the big gesture when I’m not available and yet when I am... _nothing_. I get nothing. Is he the kind of guy that only wants what he can’t have? Is that it? Or is everything a big joke to him?”

“Technically,” Shay says with a wan smile. “You are still married. You’re not available _yet_. Maybe Severide wants to give you space to figure that out before he makes any sort of move.”

“Well, if he’s giving me space then he can’t get upset when I start dating other people, can he?” Stella asks haughtily. “He can’t have his cake and eat it too.”

“Fair enough,” Shay says with a soft chuckle. Her expression suddenly turns soft and sad and Sylvie places a hand on her back. 

“Hey, you okay?”

“Just thinking about that baby from today,” Leslie says with a shaky sigh. “I can’t imagine having a parent that careless.”

“I can,” Stella replies darkly. “It’s not easy. That kid was bound to grow up too fast.”

“All the ways this world isn’t fair to people who can’t defend themselves breaks my heart,” Sylvie says with a furrowed brow. “At least in this job we get to help them on their worst days, you know? That’s gotta mean something.”

“Will you guys come with me to Med after shift?” Shay asks. “I want to check on him but I don’t want to go alone.”

Sylvie loops her arm through Shay’s and rests her head on her shoulder. “I’m totally there for whatever you need.”

“Me too,” Stella agrees. “No matter what.”

******

Casey spent most of the day after shift following Herrmann around and then, after he figured out what was going on, he and Herrmann both spent the rest of their day at the district talking to Roman and Burgess about Baby Alec’s dad. Matt knows issues with kids are personal for Herrmann. He’s not surprised the man hunted the father down for a beating. Matt’s simply glad he was able to put a stop to it before it went too far.

He makes sure Herrmann gets home to Cindy before he heads home himself. 

He finds Severide camped out on the couch in a much better mood than he’s been all day.

“Hey,” Kelly greets as Matt steps through the door.

“Hey.”

“Where you been?” He asks.

“Just, uh, helping Herrmann with something. You look chipper for someone who was fighting with Kidd on the app floor earlier,” Matt says with a smirk.

He rolls his eyes. “I don’t want to talk about that.”

“Okay, you want to talk about the girl you asked Brett for advice on instead?”

“No big secret there. Her name’s April. I messed up with her in high school and I’m just trying to make it up to her. I mean, do I like her? Yes, but I’m mainly hoping to repair a friendship. Not start a relationship,” Kelly answers with a shrug. “And I’m getting closer and closer to doing just that. Saw her today and it didn’t end with her slamming the metaphorical door in my face, so...progress.”

“Good for you, man.”

“How’s the new job coming?” Severide asks.

“Waiting on the permits to come through before I can start work,” Matt says as he sits down on the couch. “I hate this part of the job. It’s a lot of hurry up and wait.”

“Hey, a slow job is better than no job, right?” Severide asks.

“Very true. And this job is going to pay me more than enough to be worth all the waiting. Where’s Shay?”

“She and the girls went to the hospital to check on Baby Alec,” he replies.

Matt gives him a worried glance but Severide shakes his head.

“Calm down, man. April’s on shift now. I’ve got her keeping an eye on Shay for me,” Kelly tells him. “And Brett and Kidd too. If they need us she’ll let me know. Shay’s been really invested in this kid. I’m a little worried about her.”

“Yeah, I’ve been having to keep an eye out for Herrmann too. A kid that young shouldn’t be in this situation,” Matt tells him.

Severide nods his agreement. “Somebody should have been protecting him. I think that’s the core of both Shay and Herrmann’s issues.”

“That should be the core of everybody’s issue,” Casey says observantly.

“Everybody’s doing all the can for him now,” Kelly assures him. “That’s all we can ask of them. We just gotta keep the faith, man.”

Keeping the faith is easier said than done, but Severide’s right. That’s all any of them can do now.

******

Next shift, they get a call from Med about Alec Slater. He developed a blood clot and the doctors are performing emergency surgery. The house heads over there to support him. Herrmann branches off from them pretty early on and Matt sneaks away to make a phone call. When he comes back, he tells Sylvie he called Orlovsky. The implication that he called him for Herrmann hangs in between them unspoken. It must be hard to be a parent and witness things like this. She can’t blame Herrmann for needing additional support.

Speaking of support, she seeks out Shay and finds her curled into a chair next to Severide. This isn’t the way any of them wanted this to go but of all of them Herrmann and Shay felt it the most. She leaves Matt and takes up the empty seat on Shay’s other side. She takes her friend’s hand and Leslie rests her head on Sylvie’s shoulder.

April arrives not long after that and takes up a chair next to Severide. The support she’s showing Severide tells Sylvie that Kelly did something to win back some of her trust. Good for him. 

A moment later a doctor steps out into the waiting room and they all hold their breath.

“We reduced the size of the clot considerably,” he says. “But unfortunately, it was too little too late. The damage was too severe. The child slipped away during surgery. I’m sorry.”

Herrmann walks away, visibly upset. Shay takes a deep shaky breath, squeezes Sylvie’s hand and then addresses the room.

“I’ve got it,” she tells them before following Herrmann.

The rest of them trickle out of the waiting room. Sadness trails behind them. Sylvie waits with Matt for Shay and Herrmann to get back. 

“You okay?” Matt asks her.

She nods. “I am, but I’m worried about Shay. She really felt this one.”

“Yeah, I noticed that,” Casey says, looking concerned. “She’ll be okay, though. She’s tough. She’s been through worse than this.”

******

After shift ends, Leslie invites her over for breakfast. She says she wants to talk to her and the guys about something important. Sylvie shows up freshly changed from shift and is led over to a buffet of pastries and fruit. 

“I would cook,” Shay says. “But I suck at it. Something maybe you can help me with someday soon. I know you’re good at that domestic-y stuff.”

Sylvie laughs and nods. “Sure. I’d be happy to. Is there coffee?”

“Gotcha covered,” Casey says as he shoves a mug into her hand. 

She glances into the mug and finds it already doctored up. Just the way she likes it. How did he know? “Thank you!”

“Come on guys, have a seat,” Shay says as she motions to their living room.

“Is this bad news or good news?” Severide asks as they all sit down.

“Good,” Shay says confidently. “What happened to Alec yesterday, and talking with Herrmann after, got me thinking. I want to be a mom. I’ve known this and I’ve tried IVF before, but Sylvie reminded me not long ago that there are other ways to start a family. There are kids out there who need homes and families who weren’t lucky enough to be born into good situations. Kids like Alec.”

Sylvie’s smile slowly grows. She knows what’s coming. She can feel it.

“I have decided that...I’d like to adopt. I know it won’t be easy because I’ll be adopting as a single parent. It might take years. _But_ it feels right for me. I mean I already have a family I chose for myself at 51, right? Why not _choose_ to have someone else join it?” Shay’s eyes water as she finishes and she tries to subtly wipe her cheeks. “So, what do you think?”

Sylvie claps and feels tears form in her own eyes. “I think it’s fantastic!” She yells excitedly as she jumps her friend with a huge hug. “You have so much love to give, Shay! I think this is _perfect_. There’s a kid out there who’s going to be so lucky to have you!”

Severide is waiting for his turn once Sylvie releases her. He wraps his arms around Shay and holds her against his chest with a kiss to the top of her head. “I agree. This is great news! And we’ll be here for you every step of the way.”

Matt nods and pries Shay out of Severide’s hug. “Anything you need, let us know. You deserve a chance at this.”

Matt hugs her quickly and then she beams at the three of them.

“I know I shouldn’t get so excited so quickly, like I said, it might take a while but...I’m ready,” she tells them. “Whenever it happens, I’m ready.”

“Yes, you are,” Sylvie assures her as she goes in for another hug. “I’m so proud of you!”

She’s unbelievably happy to be a part of this special moment and to have been embraced so quickly by this family. The fact that she ever thought of leaving Chicago is amazing to her. This city is her home now and there’s no way she could ever leave this place or these people.

51 is everything she never knew she needed.


	42. Not the One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 51 has a scary day and it causes someone to feel a few big emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** Another one chapter for one episode. This one is 3x19, but unlike the last one there is not a lot of recapping that’s going to happen here. I recapped last time for the sake of Shay’s story and to explain why Casey didn’t spend so much time with Brett. BUT this one doesn’t change at all even with Shay and Stella in the mix. It was majority procedural and I’m not rehashing that. So I sum up the episode and the events at the top and then we go immediately into how the high strung emotions of the day affect the characters and relationships in this alternate timeline. 
> 
> That also means this chapter is a bit short. Sorry!
> 
> Hope you like it! Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“I'm not the hero in the story,_

_I'm not the girl that gets the glory,_

_Cause you're looking for true love,_

_And I'm not the one,_

_But I wish, but I wish I was.”_

_-”I Wish I Was” by Maren Morris_

******

Brett has spent the last several hours trying not to panic. First, they faced an explosion. Then the risk of some deadly virus. And, lastly, they nearly lost Severide for good. Assisting in a surgery was not what Sylvie thought the day had in store for her, but it’s exactly what happened. Thankfully, Kelly survived and so did everyone else at 51.

Watching Shay order Dr. Halstead not to blacktag Severide was a sight to behold. Leslie had already lost one best friend and it was clear she had no intention of losing another one. Before that, though, Casey sought her out. He wore concern in his eyes but not anywhere else on his face. 

She’d grabbed his arm and squeezed tightly. “I’m good. Go check on the others.”

He’d nodded without another word and moved on to Kidd and Otis.

That was really the only time she saw him for the rest of their time trapped in Med. 

He was in the waiting room and she’d been in their makeshift operating room with Shay, Dr. Tramble, and Severide. She’d heard multiple stories from the day, including one from Stella about one of the bomber’s bones impaling an older man and one form Otis about a man attacking Matt in a desperate attempt to leave the ER. Every story was an example of 51 sticking together through thick and thin. 

They were all in it right up until that moment Herrmann announced they weren’t contagious and Dr. Claman confirmed that whatever the bomber had in his body died with him. The cheers that went up around the room were accompanied by a collective sigh of relief.

The doctors moved Severide into a proper room for recovery. Shay, Kidd, and April stayed with him while the others went back to the house. Boden took 51 out of service for the remainder of second shift.

Which brings Sylvie to this moment, finishing up closing inventory for the Ambo. Matt catches up with her as she’s closing up the back doors on the rig.

“Hey,” he says slowly approaching her. “This was an insane half of a shift, huh?”

She rolls her neck, groans tiredly, and nods. “Yes. I’m exhausted. I heard a guy came after you in the ER.”

“Yeah, it was pretty scary,” he admits. “But April sedated him. She seems to be quick on her feet like that. I can see why Sev likes her.”

“She’s pretty impressive,” Sylvie agrees.

“So are you,” Matt tells her with a warm smile. “Thank you for stepping up to help Kelly out.”

She waves him off and shakes her head. “No, please. Dr. Tramble did basically everything. She’s the one you need to thank. I just did as she instructed me to.”

“Still,” he says as he takes a few steps closer to her. “I’m buying you a thank you drink at Molly’s tonight. You’re going, right?”

“After the day we’ve just had?” She asks him with a scoff. “Hell yes.”

“Alright,” he declares. “Then your first drink’s on me.”

There’s no use arguing with him. She can see his determination in his expression so she smiles graciously and nods. “Okay, sounds good. I’m going to go home and crash before visiting Severide. After that, I’ll see you there.”

They part ways. Matt’s headed out to visit Severide and she’s headed home. She does as she promised. She sleeps and then visits with Kelly at the hospital, but when it’s clear he still needs rest she goes back home to get ready for Molly’s.

She’s dressed and made up, ready to go, when a knock sounds at her door. Stella’s already come and gone. She said something about finally going on that date with Paul. That means there’s no one around to get the door for her while she finishes up. She races to the door, opens it as she’s putting in her earrings, and then freezes where she stands.

“Pete?”

“Hey, Sylvie,” he says sheepishly.

“What are you doing here?” She asks, glancing at him warily.

“I needed to see you,” he confesses. He looks wrecked and her heart goes out to him. “I spent the whole day worried about you. That bombing at the hospital--God, I was terrified.”

She steps outside and locks her door behind her before turning to face him. She smiles fondly at him and turns in a quick circle. “I’m fine. See? Just a couple of scrapes but otherwise I’m untouched. I promise.”

“I also just...miss you,” he tells her, locking eyes with her when she comes to face him again. “There are some insane things happening in my life lately and the only person I really want to talk to about them is you.”

She sighs tiredly. She really just wants to start moving past their break up. Can they skip the awkward part and be friends already? Also, what does he mean he misses her? He’s the one who left! 

“ _You_ broke up with _me_ , Pete.”

“I know. I know I did,” he says as he wraps his hands around hers. “And now I’m wondering if that was the best decision. I love you. You love me. Why am I making this so difficult for us?”

“What does that mean?” She asks in confusion.

“I--I don’t know. I was scared out of my mind for you today and it just got me thinking. That’s all.”

His eyes fall to her lips which draws her gaze to his and from there she’s done for. She’s pulled in like a moth to a flame and before she even realizes what’s happening he has her pressed against her door with his mouth firmly locked on hers. She forgot how truly phenomenal he is at kissing. Her hands drift up his arms and over his shoulders and grip the nape of his neck. She’s tempted to unlock her door and drag him back inside, but then…

Nothing’s changed, has it?

Has he come to terms with what happened between her and Matt?

She wants him just as much as she did a few weeks ago, but she refuses to go back there again if history’s going to repeat itself.

“Wait, wait,” she says as she pulls back from the kiss. “We need to talk.”

“I passed my medical eval,” he blurts out with his forehead still pressed to hers. “I could get my Squad placement any day now.”

She’s momentarily distracted by his good news and beams at him. “Oh my god! Pete! That’s amazing! I’m so happy for you!”

“Thank you,” he tells her as his eyes drift to her lips again. “But that’s probably not what you wanted to talk about.”

She sighs and shakes her head. “No.” She gives his shoulders a gentle push and he takes the hint, stepping back and allowing her space. “Has anything changed since we ended this?”

“What do you mean?” He asks with a furrowed brow.

“I mean, do you feel any differently about my past with Matt than you did a few weeks ago?”

Before he even speaks a single word she knows his answer. He looks down and away, a sure sign he’s about to say something he knows she won’t like. “No. It still bothers me.”

“Then we can’t do this,” Sylvie tells him with a thick swallow. “You can’t unlearn what you know and I can’t take it back nor would I, if given the chance. Matt is always going to be in my life and anyone who wants to be with me would have to be able to accept that. And you can’t. Maybe someday, you and I can be friends, Peter, but I think we need to go back to maintaining our distance for now. There’s no chance of either of us getting confused that way. I’m sorry.”

“Not as sorry as I am, Sylvie. I wish I could look past it. I really do,” Mills says honestly. “I meant what I said about missing you and loving you. That’s all true.”

“I know,” she says softly. “I miss you and love you too, but if this isn’t going to work then you were right. We have to end it now. It’ll be better for us in the long run.” She takes in and releases a tired breath before pointing toward her watch. “I should go. I’m running late.”

Peter steps aside and let’s her walk down the front stoop toward her car. “I’ll see you around, Brett.”

She nods and smiles weakly at him before opening her car door. “Yeah, see you around, Mills.”

She drives to Molly’s in a numb haze. As she parks outside of Molly’s and cuts the engine, she feels fresh tears and curses Peter Mills for doing this to her tonight. That was the last thing she needed. She blinks the tears away and fans her face, drying the water before it can fall. She’s cried over him a few times already. She won’t cry over him anymore.

They just need space for a while and then eventually they’ll be friends. She can always use another friend. But she will not fall back into her feelings for him. They’re comfortable and easy but she’s slowly realizing that he was right. They’re not meant to be. You can love someone without it meaning always and forever. She sees that now.

They can take a little time now and then work on being friends later.

Afterall, it’s not like he’ll be going anywhere any time soon.

The first thing she sees when she walks into Molly’s is Matt sitting at the bar. She smiles softly at him and takes a moment to observe. He’s laughing and grinning at something Herrmann is saying and she commits the image to memory. After a year like the one he’s had, Matt deserves that laugh. She hopes he has more of them from now on. As if he senses she’s entered the room, his eyes find hers and the grin grows into a smile.

He says something to Herrmann who sets out a long neck bottle in front of the empty stool next to Casey’s. Matt waves her over and she walks toward him with no hesitation. When she reaches him, he places the bottle in her hand.

“I told you, first rounds on me,” he reminds her. “And I saved you a seat.”

She chuckles as she sits down next to him. “Never had a doubt about it,” she tells him. “You always follow through, Matt Casey.”

“Always,” he confirms with a nod. “Especially when it comes to my friends.”

What did she ever do to deserve to count him as a friend? You know what? It doesn’t matter. She has him now and she’s not giving him up for anyone. Not even Pete.

She thought it while drunk a couple of weeks back but it’s just as true when she’s sober.

Matt Casey is her person. He understands her like no one ever has and she likes to think she understands him too. If anyone has an issue with that then they can feel free to leave.

Simple as that.


	43. Cut to the Bone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter returns to 51.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** TS8 COMES OUT IN FOUR HOURS YOU GUYS. WHAT. I CAN’T WAIT TO USE IT TO INSPIRE ALL THE FANFIC. Also, this chapter and next chapter might be a bit painful. Sorry. BUT it’s all in service of moving Brettsey along. PROMISE.
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“So cut the headlights, summer's a knife,_

_I'm always waiting for you just to cut to the bone._

_Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes,_

_And if I bleed, you'll be the last to know.”_

_-”Cruel Summer” by Taylor Swift_

******

The Morning Briefing is going well. It’s mostly basic housekeeping until Boden looks out the door with a grin and then the whole room knows an announcement is coming.

“So, today, Tony is acting Lieutenant on Squad while Severide is out, but that still gives us a spot to fill for at least one shift,” Boden says as he motions toward the door. 

The room erupts into cheers the minute Peter Mills comes into view. Matt claps along with the rest of them but his eyes drift toward Sylvie.

She appears fine. She’s clapping and smiling like everyone else. 

“Alright, alright, Mills, take a seat,” Boden orders. “Peter Mills will be filling in with Squad Three today. We are happy to have him back at 51 where he belongs, even temporarily.”

Mills waves to the room as he picks a chair in the back. “Happy to be back. I’ve missed you guys, believe it or not.”

Once everyone else’s attention is back on Boden, Matt sees Peter give Sylvie a small wave and a sheepish smile. She grins back at him with an encouraging thumbs up and then returns her focus to their Chief. Matt thinks he’s the only one to notice the exchange and he’s confused as hell by it. 

Once the briefing is over and they’re all disbursing, he hangs around until he can subtly follow Sylvie. 

“Hey,” he asks as they walk toward the common room. “Are you good with Mills being here?”

She smiles and nods. He sees no trace of sadness or doubt on her face. “Yeah, I am. He’s wanted to be back on Squad for a long time now and he’s worked hard to make it happen. He deserves it. And I’ve been thinking and Pete was right to end things with us. Sometimes you can be in love with someone and not be meant to be with them. I’m glad that he recognized that when I couldn't, you know?” At his nod she continues with a shrug. “I think he and I are gonna be better off as friends, whenever we’re ready for that.”

“Good,” Matt says, offering her a relieved smile in return. “Not good that you broke up, obviously, but good that you seem to be at peace with it.”

“It took a little while, but yeah I am,” she says as they continue walking toward the smell of breakfast. “Mostly I think I’ve just missed _him_. Not dating him...just _him_ as my friend. So maybe him being here is the key to us becoming friends. Or maybe I’m just being overly optimistic.”

He chuckles and nods. “Maybe, but that doesn’t mean you’re wrong. As one of your friends, I can tell you that he’d be lucky to have you in his life again in whatever capacity that looks like.”

“Thank you, Matt,” Sylvie says as she playfully bumps his shoulder while they walk. “You’re sweet.”

They join the rest of his Truck crew for breakfast. They don’t see Mills or the rest of Squad while they eat. Matt assumes they’re all out at the Squad table. That assumption is confirmed when a call comes in a few minutes later and Squad is already suited up and pulling out of the house. Casey’s crew and Ambo follow after them, and the scene they roll up on is truly bizarre.

There’s a man impaled on a lamp post, with no indication of how he got there.

“What the hell is this?” Boden asks as they all climb out of their rigs.

They take one moment to stare in shock before they spring into action. Squad using the ladder on the Truck to reach the man and cut him free and then slowly lower him down to the stretcher. Shay, Herrmann, Brett, and Mouch slowly lay him on his side.

“Okay, looks like a broken femur, a dislocated shoulder, and multiple contusions. Jesus, what happened to this guy?” Shay says as they strap him down.

The man on the gurney begins mumbling. “Banana, banana, banana.”

“Banana?” Shay asks Sylvie. “Did he just say banana?”

“I think so,” Brett answers with a furrowed brow.

“Okay, weird,” Shay replies with a shake of her head. “Let’s go!”

They wheel the stretcher back to the Ambo and the girls speed off to Med. 

What a weird start to the day, he thinks as they get started on clean up.

******

Shay is grinning as they wheel the stretcher back toward the Ambo.

“Banana,” she repeats with a chuckle. “What a way to make that call even stranger.”

They look up just in time to see Severide step off the elevator from his post surgery follow up appointment. 

“Hey,” he greets. “You guys dropping off a patient already? Shift’s barely started.”

“No rest for the weary,” Sylvie replies with a light laugh.

“How’s Squad doing without me?” He asks with a smirk. “Are they totally lost?”

Shay scoffs and rolls her eyes at him. “You are not lacking for an ego, are you? Mills is filling in for the extra spot. They’re doing pretty great.”

Severide makes a low indignant noise, but forces a smile. “As long as Brett’s okay with it then I’m okay with it.”

Sylvie chuckles and shakes her head. “First Matt now you. I’m _fine_. Being taken off Squad was hard for him so I’m glad he’s getting another shot at it.”

“You just missed the most insane call,” Shay says, eagerly changing the subject. “Unconscious victim, multiple broken bones, and... _impaled on a lamppost_!”

“How the hell did that happen?” Kelly asks, looking just as confused as everyone else on the scene.

“No one knows,” Brett replies. 

“He did say something before he passed out though,” Shay tells him with a smirk. “ _Banana_.” She giggles a little and then shakes her head. “I feel really bad for the guy but that will never not be funny to me.”

Sylvie chuckles and shakes her head at her partner. “We should get back. We’ll see you around.”

“See ya.”

“Gabby would have loved that,” Shay tells the two of them as they walk away. 

“Yeah, she would’ve,” Kelly replies with a sad smile.

Sylvie’s glad Severide was there because she wouldn’t have known how to reply to that. She didn’t know Gabby. Though she’s heard enough about her that sometimes she feels like she did. Even after all this time, it’s clear this house loved her very much. She hopes Gabby knew and appreciated that while she was alive. Sylvie appreciates every day she has with this house.

When they get back to 51, they walk into the common room and find all of Truck speculating on how the man ended up on the lamppost.

“You guys learn anything else?” Herrmann asks as they enter.

“Nope,” Shay answers. “Not a thing.”

“I guess we’ll know more when he comes to. If he comes to,” Sylvie says as she sits down at the circular table across from Matt.

He’s going over paperwork and plans that seem to be related to his construction business. Shay’s getting coffee behind him when she leans over his shoulder very slightly.

“What’s...Stilettos?” She asks. Matt slams a hand down on top of the paperwork, just a second too late at trying to cover it up. “That sounds like a strip club--Oh, shit,” Shay continues with a smirk. “It is a strip club, isn’t it?”

Sylvie bites her lip to keep from grinning. It was just a matter of time before the house found out. Matt looks completely miserable, though. He really hoped he’d be able to keep this one under wraps.

“Yes, I landed a construction contract expanding a _club_ called Stilettos. The permits just came through,” he explains.

From behind him, Joe clears his throat and it’s all Sylvie can do to stifle a laugh. Matt meets her eyes with a knowing flat stare. She unleashes her grin and mouths a quick, “I told you so” as Joe takes a seat at the table next to him.

“Lieutenant, I’ve been meaning to ask you, do you, by any chance, need any strong backs for your side business? Cause I could use a little extra scratch.”

“You don’t say,” Matt replies dryly.

Otis doesn’t miss a beat and Sylvie has to prop her chin in her hand to cover her amused smile. She definitely plans to remind him that she completely called this a couple of weeks ago. 

“Oh, are you looking for guys, Casey? Because I know my way around a toolbox.”

Shay and Brett exchange a doubtful look. Brett’s heard the stories Shay tells about having to do small repairs around Molly’s herself because Otis doesn’t know a hammer from a screwdriver. Exaggeration doesn’t _begin_ to describe Otis’ last statement.

“Fine,” Matt says after a lengthy pause. He looks resigned as if he knows this won’t end well but he feels obligated to give them a shot anyway.

It’s one of the many things she admires about Matt Casey. He always gives people a shot.

“Good luck with that,” Shay says as he pats his shoulder and walks away.

“I could have avoided that all together if you hadn’t announced what I was doing to the whole room,” Matt chides her. 

“Not my fault you had your permits out in the open, my man. You have your own quarters for a reason,” she reminds him with a teasing grin and a shrug.

Brett takes a deep breath and opens her mouth to speak, but he holds up a hand to stop her.

“You told me so, I know,” he replies, meeting her eyes with a grin and a shake of his head.

“And you also know that Otis has no experience with tools whatsoever, right? I mean you’d be better off with me on that construction crew. At least I know the difference between a phillips head and flat head.”

His eyebrows rise and his mouth drops open, but he doesn’t look shocked. It’s a look of awe not disbelief. She feels heat rising to his cheeks and quickly looks away from him.

“Is there anything you don’t do?” He asks her with a soft chuckle.

She laughs bashfully and nods. “Lots of things, but when you grow up on a farm tools are sort of a part of everyday life. Just as much as a tractor or a post hole digger -- my dad even taught me how to weld.” She shrugs and keeps her eyes focused on her folded hands. “It was never a big deal. Just a way of life.”

She can still feel Matt’s amazed gaze on her but refuses to look up to meet his eyes. There’s something much too intimate about that right now. She’s not sure what, exactly, but she just _can’t_ do it. 

“Well, it’s a big deal in Chicago,” Matt tells her, still sounding amused and floored.

She looks up toward the hall, in an effort to avoid Matt’s gaze, and catches Pete walking through with his mom and sister trailing behind. Her brow furrows as he takes them into the briefing room. She doesn’t mean to listen, but their voices float through the door next to where she and Matt are sitting.

Matt goes quiet and his gaze shifts from amazed to worried. Pete’s mom and sister want to keep a restaurant they inherited in Wilmington, North Carolina. They want to renovate and open it and they want Mills to go with them. He’s obviously conflicted and, as much as Sylvie told herself she’s fine being friends with Peter, the doubts creep up on her. Just hours ago she told Matt all she wanted was time to build a friendship with Pete.

Now she may not even have that.

When they’re done talking Pete storms off to the bunk room.

Sylvie bites her bottom lip and tries to make herself stay put, but she can’t.

“I, um, I’ll be right back,” she tells Casey with an apologetic wince.

He nods in understanding but she can see the barest traces of disappointment on his face. “Yeah, of course.”

What was that? What does he have to be disappointed about? He’s not the one who just found out his ex that he’s still in love with may be leaving for good. 

She finds Pete sitting on his bunk with a tablet in hand. She approaches slowly and leans on the foot of the bed.

“Hey,” she says, softly. “I heard about what happened with your family. Are you okay?”

He gives her one low grunt in response and then she gets a good look at what’s on his tablet. 

“What are you looking at?”

“Doc’s Facebook page.”

“Who is that?”

“He is the idiot that they’re partnering with.” She gives him a surprised look and he nods. “Yeah, guy’s run four restaurants in the last six years. Guess how many are still in business?”

He scrolls past a picture of Doc in a uniform of some kind and Sylvie winces. “Why is he dressed like that? Is he a Civil War reenactor?”

“You know, I reached out to my grandfather trying to fix this family,” Pete tells her he sets the tablet aside. He looks sad and a little lost. Her heart goes out to him. “Now I’m losing what’s left of it.”

“I’m sorry, Pete,” she says with a heartfelt apology in her eyes. She really is sorry. She knows he loves his family. They’re as close as her own family. “So, you’re not going to go with them?”

“No,” he tells her confidently, reaching up to squeeze her arm. “Of course not. Plus, I just made Squad again.” He says that last part with all the swagger he can manage and she laughs at him.

“Right, how could I forget?” She asks with a grin. “Well, good. I was worried there for a second.”

“You were?” He asks her, a hopeful expression on his face.

She nods and nervously tucks a strand of hair behind her ears. “We can’t work on becoming friends when you’re in another state,” she says lamely. “Besides, I’d miss you. I know we haven’t talked much lately but at least if you’re in Chicago then I know we _can_. Does that make sense?”

He nods and reaches out for her hands. “That makes total sense. To me anyway.”

The moment is interrupted by the ring of Peter’s phone. He gives her an apologetic look and glances at his phone. “It’s Severide. I should take this.”

She nods and releases his other hand. “Right, okay. I should probably check in with Shay. You’re sure that you’re not going anywhere?”

He chuckles and nods again. “Positive.”

She breathes a sigh of relief as she leaves the bunkroom. She’s not sure what her panic at the idea of him leaving meant, but knowing that he’s not feels like a weight has been lifted off of her shoulders. She thought she’d come to terms with her break up with Pete, but maybe that’s not the truth? Maybe she just lied to herself in order to cope? 

She groans in frustration as she reaches the Ambo. 

“Uh oh,” Shay says as she hops out of the back. “That doesn’t sound good. What’s up, Partner?”

“I think I want to get back together with Pete,” she tells Shay with a furrowed brow.

“You think?”

“I don’t know! I just overheard his mom and his sister trying to talk him into leaving Chicago for good and it freaked me out,” she admits. “I don’t want him to leave.”

“That doesn’t mean you want to get back together,” Shay tells her. “That just means you’ll miss him. You two were pretty serious for a while. That makes sense.”

“It does?” She asks.

“You didn’t part on horrible terms. You still work together. You told me yourself you want to be his friend. So, yeah, that makes sense. Missing someone doesn’t mean you want to date them. It just means you’ll miss them.”

“Well, when you put it like that,” Sylvie says with a wan smile. “God, I’m glad I have you.”

“Or else you’d be throwing yourself at Mills again?” Shay asks with a smirk. “I mean, maybe you should. Everyone’s allowed a bonus night every now and then. Get it out of your system.”

“A what?” Sylvie asks.

“A night where you and an ex or an old one night stand get back together with no consequences. A bonus night. You’ve never had one of those?” Shay asks her in disbelief.

She thinks about Harrison coming back into town all those months ago and gives Leslie a guilty expression. “Not intentionally.”

“Well, if you do it right, they’re a hell of a lot of fun,” Leslie advises.

Against her will a thought intrudes into her consciousness. A thought she should not, under any circumstances, entertain. 

What would another night with Matt Casey be like? One not quite so clouded by loneliness and grief. Maybe one where they take their time instead of--

No, she thinks with a mortifying flush. She stops that line of thought dead in its tracks. Hell no. No way. Matt is her friend and they miraculously found a solid friendship in the aftermath of that first night. No way was she risking ruining that for a “bonus night”. Ugh, what is _wrong_ with her today? First thoughts of getting back together with Pete and then thoughts she definitely shouldn't be having about Matt?

“Shay?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m a fucking mess,” Sylvie states with a deep sigh.

Shay laughs at her. “Yeah, who isn’t?”


	44. sad beautiful tragic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mills makes a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** You guys may hate me for this chapter, lol. I’m sorry.
> 
> I still hope you like it though.
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xo

******

_“Cause we had a beautiful magic love there,_

_What a sad beautiful tragic love affair,_

_Distance, timing, breakdown, fighting,_

_Silence, the train runs off its tracks,_

_Kiss me, try to fix it, could you just try to listen?_

_Hang up, give up and for the life of us we can't get back.”_

_-“Sad Beautiful Tragic” by Taylor Swift_

******

After a reminder that Sylvie’s still hung up on Pete and a waste of a work day at the club, Matt’s ready for some good news. He ignored Otis’ gossip about Nesbitt but maybe he should look into it. He did think it was strange that a man who seemed to love the job as much as Jack claimed to would give it up after seven years. Matt could never give up 51. It isn’t even an option.

But then not everyone loves the CFD the way he does. He needs to remember that.

He goes back to the club and puts in an extra day to make up for Otis and Cruz slowing him down the day before. He gets more done alone and he decides he’s not hiring Cruz or Otis again. No matter how many times they ask. He needs this job to go well. Word of mouth alone could be a boon for business.

He’s not expecting a call the morning of shift asking him to come in early. He and Kelly exchange concerned glances. It’s never good when Boden asks to meet with them before shift starts -- especially when it’s the two of them together.

The feeling gets worse when he sees Boden’s face as he enters his office.

“What’s going on?” Kelly asks.

“Mills is leaving,” Boden announces. “Today is his last shift.”

Pressure builds, pushing on Matt’s chest, immediately. He feels guilt. He wished for good news and, while this is definitely not that, maybe the universe misunderstood his meaning. He didn’t want Peter Mills to leave. Sylvie wouldn’t want that either. As much as Matt hates to admit it, she still loves Mills. She wants a chance to be friends with him.

“Just like that?” Kelly asks. “What about his Squad placement?”

Boden sighs and shakes his head. “He wants to relocate to North Carolina with his family. He says it’s important to him that they be together.”

Honestly, Matt can’t blame him for that. He’d give anything to have a family like Peter’s. 

“He’s telling the house today?” Matt asks.

Boden nods. “At the start of shift.”

“Maybe...maybe we can talk to him,” Casey suggests.

“He doesn’t want to be talked out of it,” Boden tells them.

“Alright,” Severide says. “So, we don’t. Instead, we keep him on Squad for the day. Let him see what he’ll be missing if he leaves.”

Matt points at Severide and nods his agreement. “That could work. Could you get clearance for that?”

Matt respects the hell out of Mills. He worked his ass off to be on Squad. He’d hate to see him give it all up on a whim. Plus, he doesn’t want to see Sylvie’s face when Peter announces he’s leaving. She’ll be crushed.

“Probably,” Boden answers. “I have some favors I could cash in.”

“We can ask him not to make a final decision until the end of shift,” Matt suggests. “That’s it. No talking him in or out of anything. We’re simply asking him to hold off on a decision until shift is over. He deserves a shot to really consider what he’s giving up. We should make sure he takes it.”

“Okay,” Boden says decisively. “Then that’s what we’ll do. After his announcement you’ll meet me here. Copy?”

“Copy that, Chief,” both he and Severide say at once.

“Are you dreading this as much as I am?” Severide asks him. “I hate goodbyes and watching other people say goodbye and all the emotions that go with it. The house is not going to like this.”

“Maybe he’ll stay,” Matt adds hopefully.

“I don’t know,” Severide says with a head shake. “Sounds like his mind is pretty made up.”

He doesn’t want it to be the case, but Severide’s right. From the way Boden talked, Mills has made his decision and nothing they say or do will convince him otherwise.

They change out and stick to their quarters until the start of shift when Chief asks for all of them to gather in the common room. Mills and Boden stand at the center and Matt hovers in the back, deliberately placing himself next to Sylvie.

It goes over like a lead balloon. Herrmann thinks it’s a joke, Cruz is obviously angry, and everyone else looks dejected and shocked. Except Sylvie. Her eyes are glassy and raw and the pressure on Matt’s chest increases, this time an annoying ache accompanies the pressure. He hates this for her. For all of them, really. Mills is and always will be a part of their family. No one wants him to go. Boden claps when Peter’s done and instructs them all to make it a good shift. He shakes Mills hand and lets him know that he’ll always have a home at 51 and then leaves Mills alone with all of them.

Mills glances around the room and his eyes connect with Sylvie’s as he speaks.

“I’m gonna miss all of you.”

One of them most of all, it seems.

“Hey,” Herrmann says, deciding to be the first to reach out. Typical Herrmann, Matt thinks with a sad smile. “I guess if you gotta go, we gotta have a going away party, right? Molly’s tomorrow night. What do ya say?”

Peter nods and smiles. “Hell yeah.”

He turns and walks away toward the kitchen but no one else moves. 

Sylvie stays right where she is, leaning against the long table with her arms crossed over her chest, and stares out into space. Matt shares a nod with Severide and then Kelly calls out to Peter.

“Hey, Mills, you got a second?”

And here’s where they ask him not to make any firm decisions till the end of shift. Matt follows after him and Kelly to Boden’s office. They’ll talk to him just like the planned and hopefully, he’ll seriously consider his next steps.

******

Sylvie still hasn’t wrapped her mind around Mills leaving when their first call comes in. It’s a traffic accident and Cermak and Ashland, involving multiple vehicles. 

She and Shay are headed toward the victims in the hatchback because the driver appears to be unconscious and bleeding from a head wound, but as they approach Kelly gives them the “cut it” signal. Her brow furrows and her eyes fall on the teenage girl in the passenger seat. God, she hopes that man isn’t dead. Pete and Kelly ask the girl more questions and Pete seems to have an epiphany of some kind. 

The next thing she recognizes is Mills yelling about a heartache and doing compressions.

“I need a medic!” He yells. 

Shay starts attending to another victim so Sylvie quickly rushes to join him.

“I need a monitor,” he tells her.

“Got it,” Sylvie says as she grabs the monitor off the gurner and makes her way back to him. “Pause compressions,” she orders as she reaches him again. She presses her hand to the victim’s pulse point and checks his vitals. “I’ve got a pulse! He’s breathing! Shay, we need you!”

She rattles off the patient’s condition and the rate he needs to be paced as Shay runs over with the stretcher. Squad lifts the man onto the gurney and then she and Shay are off on their way to Med with the guy’s daughter in tow. 

If Peter hadn’t been there, this man might be dead. Hopefully, he sees that. She doesn’t know what happen to take him from not going to North Carolina to feeling like he has to go, but maybe seeing how important he is to the house will make him want to stay.

While they’re at Med, Kendra stops them to update them on the lamppost guy. Apparently, he woke up and told CPD the entire store of what happened. Shay rushes them back to the house, knowing the guys will be dying to hear -- especially in light of Peter’s announcement.

They walk into the common room on a mission.

“It wasn’t banana, it was Banan,” Shay announces as they walk through the doorway.

“Banan?” Boden asks from his spot in front of the coffeemaker.

“We just got back from Chicago Med. They guy woke up,” Sylvie explains.

“He told the nurses that he tried to kill himself by jumping off a rooftop, but he came to on the roof of a tractor-trailer.”

“No way,” Welch says as he gives Peter Mills a disbelieving glance.

“Unreal! Mills called it!” Otis exclaims, excitedly.

“What does Banan mean?” Matt asks.

“It’s the name of a woman. He met her on a trip to Syria. They got married and then the civil war broke out. He couldn’t get her out of the country. They spent four years apart and then, just the other day, she was killed,” Shay tells them. “And that’s why he tried to kill himself.”

Herrmann shakes his head sadly. “Can you imagine, all that time, separated from a loved one?”

Sylvie can tell the story has an effect on Mills. He swallows thickly and sets down his coffee mug. He nods toward Boden and Severide before walking out of the room. Severide, Casey, and Boden follow him all while Sylvie holds her breath.

Selfishly, she doesn’t want him to leave, but he also wants him to do what’s right for him. She’ll miss him, but if this is the path he needs to take then she’ll be as supportive as she can be. Shay sits down next to her at the long table and puts an arm around her shoulders. Stella joins her and sits on her other side. The two women each reach over and take one of her hands, but never utter a word.

They don’t need to. She feels their support all the same.

******

“So you’re still going?” Boden asks.

“I am,” Peter answers.

Matt can see the determination in Mills’ eyes. He knows the look of a man who’s confident in the path he’s choosing. He’s been that man before. Peter knows his mind and he won’t be changing it. The only thing left to do now is support him.

“You’re doing the right thing, Mills,” he says. 

“We got your back no matter what, brother,” Kelly throws in, patting Peter’s shoulder.

“We just had to make sure _you_ were sure,” Matt tells him. 

They exchange a look of mutual respect as Peter nods. Matt can tell Mills knows _why_ Casey had to make sure. 

For Sylvie. 

“You are a born firefighter,” Boden tells him. “You’ve been an asset to this house on every level.”

“I knew leaving here would be hard,” he says.

Boden shakes his head in adamant disagreement. “You are not leaving. You are gonna carry 51 with you wherever you go.”

When they come back out of Boden’s office, everyone is still hanging around. They’ve changed out but they’re all waiting for Peter. Except for one very obvious exception.

Sylvie Brett.

Mills doesn’t say anything but Matt can tell it bothers him. 

Before they all leave he claps Peter on the shoulder and gives him an encouraging glance.

“She probably just needs some time to adjust.”

“I don’t really have too much of that,” he says with a sigh. “You think she’ll come to Molly’s tonight?”

She may be upset but she’d never miss the chance to say goodbye to Mills. “She’ll be there,” Matt answers confidently. “Just give her a little space until then.”

“Thanks, man,” Peter tells him. “I know we’ve had our dust ups, you and me, but I feel better about leaving knowing you’re here with her. You’re important to her.” Mills pauses and then gives him a wan smile. “More important than she realizes, I think.”

He doesn’t exactly know what that means but he’ll take all the encouragement he can get.

“Good luck, Mills,” Matt says as he shakes hands with him. “I hope you get everything you want out of North Carolina.”

He nods and shakes his hand in return. “Me too. It’s a big risk, but I think it’ll be worth it to be with my family.”

He spends the rest of the day on the phone with his suppliers and contractors, making arrangements for work on the club. He checks his watch and remembers he’s supposed to meet Jack at Stilettos at 8 and then he has Mills party. He gets ready quickly and hopes this meeting with Jack doesn’t take too long. He’d had to be late saying last goodbyes to Mills.

Of course it takes longer than he anticipated. Jack wants to celebrate, he says. He has good news. For both him and Matt. He starts the conversation by asking Matt if he’s adverse to making money. Of course he isn’t. Then he reveals that Jack’s met with investors who want to open a chain of Stilettos and he wants Casey Construction to build them. Provided he stay and meet said investors.

Matt tries to tell him he needs to leave. That he has an event for a friend to get to, but Nesbitt is very persuasive and Matt doesn't want to balk at good jobs. The whole reason he took this job was to drum up more business, right? Well, _this_ is more business.

So he sits and drinks with Jack’s investors. Even when he knows he shouldn’t.

He arrives late, but luckily it seems Mills is late too. He finds Stella and Shay at the bar on the opposite end from Severide, Rice, and Welch.

“Hey, where’s Mills? I didn’t miss him, did I?”

“No,” Shay replies. “He’s still on his way.”

“You seen Sylvie?” He asks.

Kidd nods and points to a table in the back. “We’re getting her a drink.”

“I got it,” Matt tells them as he shoulders through the crowd and up to the bar. He orders her a glass of wine and himself a beer and then makes his way to her table. 

He sits down and slides the glass across the table to her. “Thought you might need this.”

She gives him a weak smile in response. “Thanks.” Her eyes trail over her face and he can see her holding back a laugh as they stop on his cheek.

She reaches over and brushes the pad of her thumb over his cheek with a chuckle. “You’ve got some glitter right about here.”

His cheeks flush and he pulls away from her hand to brush the rest of it off. He deliberately ignores the slight shock of a spark from her hand against his cheek. “Thanks, I was-- uh-- working right before this.”

“I bet,” she replies with a teasing grin. “At Stilettos, I’m guessing? The girls over there treat you nice, I see.”

He rolls his eyes and laughs. “Very funny. No, Jack met with some investors and apparently they want me to build a chain of Stilettos.”

Her eyes and grin widen. “Huh, who’d have ever thought, perpetual boyscout, _Matt Casey_ would be in the strip club business?”

“No, no! I’m just building them. That’s it. Like any other job. I construct the building and then I don’t care what goes inside. My part of the job is done.”

“You’re blushing,” she points out with a laughing smile. “It’s cute.”

The front door to Molly’s opens and the room bursts into applause. Matt turns to face the door, unsurprised to see Peter Mills standing at the front of the room.

“He’s here,” Sylvie says with a forced smile. “We should go say hello.”

She takes her glass and squeezes through the crowd. She finds a stool in between Shay and Stella just as everyone starts calling for a speech. Matt finds a spot next to Severide where he can keep an eye on Sylvie, just in case she needs him.

Mills gives his speech and it’s a beautiful speech. Severide takes a moment alone to say goodbye and then Matt takes one too. Reminding Mills that if he changes his mind, he can always come back. He’ll always be a part of 51.

And then Peter’s gaze lands on Sylvie.

Matt walks away with Kidd and Shay to give them a moment alone.

This one’s gonna be rough, for both of them.

******

“Can we talk outside?” Peter asks as he approaches her.

She nods silently and he motions for her to lead the way.

His speech already left her near tears. She has no doubt whatever he has to say to her one on one will wreck whatever composure she has left.

“A part of me wants to ask you to come with me,” Mills admits, taking both of her hands in his. “But the more sensible part of me knows that _this_ is where you belong. You’re not new to Chicago anymore,” he tells her. “This is just as much your city as it ever was mine. So, I won’t ask that, but I wanted you to know I thought about it.”

She’s glad he talked himself out of that. She knows she wouldn’t say yes and she wouldn’t want things to end on an awkward note.

“I love you, Sylvie Brett, and one of my biggest regrets is always going to be letting you get away,” he tells her. “That was stupid.”

She lets out a soggy laugh and nods. “Yes, it was.”

He presses his forehead to hers and swallows thickly. “I wish I could take you with me.”

“I wish you could stay,” she answers back, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“If you ever need to get away or you decide you’re looking for something that you can’t find in Chicago,” he says before closing the distance to place a soft lingering kiss on her lips. “You know where to find me.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she replies, framing his face with her hands and pulling him back in for another kiss. “Now, you should go back inside. I know a few people have some going away presents to give you--”

“I’m not done saying goodbye to you yet,” he says, cutting her off. “Or, at least, I don’t want to be.”

“I don’t want to be either,” she tells him. “But we can’t stay out here forever.” She pauses and thinks about her conversation with Shay last shift -- of bonus nights and being a mess. She’ll be a mess no matter how tonight ends so why night enjoy Mills for one more night? “How about a compromise?” She asks.

His eyebrows lift and a grin forms on his face. “I’m listening.”

“You go back in there, make your final rounds, and then meet me at my place,” she offers as she mimics his grin. “We can make our goodbye last all night if we want.”

“I’m in. That sounds like an excellent compromise,” he says, leaning down to kiss her one more time.

They go back inside and part ways. Pete starts his final around and Sylvie seeks out Stella.

“Don’t worry,” Stella says before she can utter a word. “I’ve already made plans to stay at Paul’s tonight. You’ve got the whole apartment to yourself.”

“How did you--”

“He’s leaving and you're still in love with him. It doesn’t take a genius,” Kidd says with a chuckle. “Plus, everyone deserves a bonus night.”

She nods and lets the subject drop. “So, Paul, huh? That seems to be going well.”

Stella shrugs in response. “It’s fun. That’s all I need right now.”

“Well, good. I’m happy for you.”

“Save that happy for next week when we’re supposed to finally sign the papers,” Stella says with a deep nervous breath. “I’m one week away from being a free woman. Thank, God.”

Sylvie gives her a reassuring hug and then makes her way to Shay and Matt. They’re at the end of the bar chatting carelessly. She works her way in between them and squeezes Shay’s shoulder. 

“I think I’m gonna go,” she tells her.

“Already?” Matt asks.

She nods. “I’ll see you guys next shift.”

“Hey, you okay?” Leslie asks.

“Yeah, I am. For now, anyway.”

“Call me later, if you want,” Shay offers. “I don’t care how late.”

Matt nods his agreement and points a kind smile at her. She feels his hand on her back, rubbing a comforting circle. “If you need me,” he says. “You know where to find me.”

She has no way of stopping her sharp intake of air. Or the conflicting feelings his statement causes. They bubble up in her chest and won’t go away. Of all things he could have said at this moment he had to pick those words? The exact same ones Pete said moments ago?

“Yeah,” she replies quickly, trying to cover her reaction. “I do. Thanks.”

What the hell is happening with her when it comes to Matt, lately? Nothing. Absolutely nothing! She needs to shake it off. Tonight is about saying goodbye to Pete. Whatever is going on with Matt will still be here tomorrow.

Pete won’t.

She slips out before Pete and heads back to her place to straighten up as best she can. She wasn’t planning on having company tonight. Her offer to Pete was impulsive, but she doesn’t regret it. Hushed goodbyes on the street outside of Molly’s isn’t enough for her either.

Pete was a big part of her acclimation to Chicago. He helped her learn things about herself she wouldn’t have found out otherwise. If this chapter of her life is going to end then she wants it to end happily. She wants to know she enjoyed her time with him to its fullest, even as it’s coming to a close.

There’s a knock at her door a half hour later and she opens it to find a brightly smiling Peter Mills.

“Sylvie, are you sure you want this? I don’t have to stay. I--”

“This is the last time I’m going to see you for who knows how long, Pete. I want this. _I’m sure_ ,” she says as she steps aside in the open doorway. “ _Please_ , come in.”

It’s a great night that reminds her of why she and Pete worked so well together in the first place, but she goes into it with eyes wide open. It won’t go any further than this. He’s leaving. If she sees him again, it won’t be for a very long time. In a way, she’s glad this is happening after they broke up. She had already started to move on from him. Sure, saying goodbye is still hard but it would be ten times harder if they were still dating. Over the last several weeks she’s started to adjust to life without him, and that’s a good thing. Especially now.

He wakes her up early the next morning, saying he needs to go clean out his locker at 51 before he hits the road. She gets up and gets dressed and walks him to the door.

They share a couple of final kisses before he descends her front steps and turns back like he always does. 

“See you around, Sylvie Brett.”

She sniffles and wipes her eyes with the sleeve of his borrowed sweatshirt but still manages to smile back at him. “See you around, Peter Mills.”

She stays rooted to her spot as he gets in his car. She doesn’t plan to move until he’s disappeared down the street. As his car pulls away, another vehicle comes into view. Leaning against his truck, across the street, is Matt Casey.

He waves to Pete as he passes him and then to Sylvie. He holds up a to-go cup tray with two coffees and a white paper bag before crossing the street and climbing her stairs.

“What are you doing here?” She asks him surprise.

He points to Pete’s car as he continues down the street and smiles wanly at her. “Pete texted me. He said you might need a friend.” He holds up the white paper bag and shakes it in front of her as her eyes start to water again. “I brought donuts and hazelnut coffee. I also have a variety of gummy candies in my truck if you need them.”

She laughs and sniffles, giving her laugh a soggy sound that makes her cringe, and then takes the bag of donuts out of his hand. “Thank you. You’re the best, Matt Casey.”

He shrugs modestly and holds open her front door for her. “I try.”

She’s not sure why Pete thought to call him, but she’s glad he did. He was right, she does need a friend today and Matt Casey is the best friend she could ever ask for.


	45. Something About You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 51 has their first shift post Peter Mills.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** This chapter is a hundred percent friendship fluff. Enjoy!
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“Whenever I see your smiling face,_

_I have to smile myself,_

_because I love you, yes, I do._

_And when you give me that pretty little pout,_

_it turns me inside out._

_There's something about you, baby, I don't know.”_

_-“Your Smiling Face” by James Taylor_

******

Sylvie thanks her lucky stars that she and Pete broke up long before he left. Sure, she misses him, but she’d gotten used to her daily life without him by now. That one last night together didn’t change that. Does she mourn her chance to build a friendship with him? Yes, of course. But that alone is not enough to break her.

She could try rebuilding their friendship from a distance. However, that might be too much with several states in between them. Instead, she lets it go -- let’s _him_ go. 

She said a lot of things after that drunk girls night several weeks back but one of them felt irrepressibly true. She jumped back into dating too quickly after Harrison. Deciding to take time for herself releases an enormous weight off of her shoulders. 

It’s okay to take a pause and just _be_ for a while. She doesn’t always have to be thinking about the future or where she wants to go or who she wants to be with. She’s allowed to slow down, look at the world around her, and _breathe_.

That’s exactly what she plans to do.

Walking into the house next shift feels like walking into a totally different house. They’ve all been working without Pete for months but it must be different for 51 knowing he’s more than just a phone call away now. They miss him. 

She can relate.

But life goes on and she can’t dwell on all the losses. If she does that then she takes for granted what she has right now.

Speaking of what she has right now.

Matt gives her a questioning concerned glance as he approaches. “How are you holding up?”

She smiles affectionately at him and waves off his worry. “I’m okay. I promise. I was actually just thinking that, looking back, it’s a good thing Pete and I broke up when we did. It gave me a head start on missing him and makes it easier to...let him go, I guess.”

His expression shifts from concerned to impressed. “That sounds like a very healthy reaction.” He grins encouragingly and then motions to the rest of 51 as they enter the briefing room with mopey expressions. “Can you share some of that emotional maturity with the rest of the house?”

She laughs softly. “If I could they’d be too stubborn to take it.”

“You’re not wrong,” he concedes, letting her take her usual seat at the front of the room before he finds one toward the back.

At least Matt is being relatively normal about Pete leaving. Everyone else gives her pitying looks as they wait for Chief to get them started.

She pointedly avoids looking at any of them and stares down at the table surface. Are they expecting her to be weepy and broken? She’s been in that place for a few weeks now already. She’s tired of being weepy and broken. Especially over Peter Mills.

Mercifully, Boden walks in and begins the general housekeeping announcements, stealing everyone’s focus from her. She’s anticipating the awkwardness resuming when the briefing ends until the bells go off. First call of the day and they’ve barely started their shift.

Everyone makes a break for their rigs. Shay squeezes her arm and gives her an encouraging smile as they get in the ambo and pull away from the house.

“They don’t mean to make you feel any type of way,” Shay tells her with a muted chuckle. “They’re just worried.”

“Yeah,” she replies with a small smile. “I get that.”

They arrive on scene to find the house already fully involved in a fire with an obnoxious neighbor shouting orders at them just seconds after arriving. Boden sends Squad in to search the second floor and Truck the first. Kidd and Otis go around the back and Herrmann and Casey take front. Shay and Brett stand by and wait -- ready for any possible victims.

Stella and Otis bring out a guy named Billy, who needs oxygen from smoke inhalation but not much else. Severide comes over the radio and announces that he and Welch are coming out with a badly burned female. Brett calls for a second ambo and Stella agrees to stay with Billy while they take the stretcher for Severide and Welch’s victim.

It’s tough but Shay gets fluid’s in their patient by putting an IV in her jugular. Then they intubate and take her to Med. The second ambo is already on it’s way for Billy. They grab a quick lunch on the way back and get back to the house just behind Truck and Squad.

The minute she steps out of the driver’s side the pitying looks start all over again. She sighs and trades a tired glance with Shay. “I’m just gonna get a jump on inventory,” she tells her, desperate to avoid the common room.

Shay nods and smirks. “If you avoid them they’ll assume you’re upset.”

“I know,” she says with a huff. “I just don’t want to deal with it right now.”

“Alright,” Shay tells her as she gives her a quick hug. “I’ll cover for you.”

“You’re the best, Partner.”

“Of course I am. I’m awesome,” Shay replies with a wink just before she walks off toward the double doors into the house.

******

Jesus, this house is acting like they’ve never seen anyone going through a break up before. Sylvie seems fine, but if they all keep staring at her like they expect her to break then she may not be for much longer. 

Otis and Cruz are talking hushed voices but not hushed enough to keep the rest of the room from hearing every word they’re saying. They’re talking about Sylvie and Mills. Matt rolls his eyes and decides to try and force them to change the topic.

“Saturday,” he says as he approaches them. “Which one of you is helping me install the mirrored glass at Stilettos?”

They both pointedly look away from him before answering.

“Um,” Otis says awkwardly. “Day date.”

After Cruz’s disbelieving look he clarifies.

“I’m taking Baba to brunch, what?”

He chooses to withhold the many comments he could make in reply to that. “Cruz?”

“I can’t, Lieutenant.”

One lame excuse and one vague refusal. They’re not busy. They’re avoiding the strip club. Which is strange considering they _begged him_ to tag along last time. “You guys get born again or what?”

“I’ll help.” 

They turn to find Shay pouring herself a cup of coffee. “Or are women only allowed inside in a waitress-slash-dancer capacity? Because, honestly, I’m not opposed to making good tips and meeting a few very flexible women while I’m at it.”

“Hilarious,” Matt says dryly.

“What?” She asks with a smirk. “It’s a legitimate question?”

“Yeah, well, Nesbitt’s building a whole chain of clubs and guess who’s gonna be buying their lake house from doing all the work?”

“Careful who you get in bed with, Lieutenant,” Otis warns mysteriously.

“What’s that mean?”

“Seven years in the fire department, guy suddenly quits...I’m just saying.”

He’d had those suspicions himself but it wasn’t really any of his business why Nesbitt left the CFD. He’s a client, not a friend. “If I only wanted to work with saints I’d be out of business pretty quick.”

“Your call,” Otis says with a disapproving tone.

“Is it?” Matt asks, archly. “Well, thank you for letting me make my own decisions, Otis, cause I was gonna run everything by you.”

Shay snorts at Matt’s sarcastic tone and Otis and Cruz leave the room, which was Matt’s ultimate goal to begin with. As he and Shay turn, they find Antonio walking into the room.

“Antonio,” Shay says pleasantly. “What’s up?”

“I need to talk to one of your firefighters? A Stella Kidd? It’s about the guy she pulled out of the fire earlier?” He asks. 

Matt’s brow furrows in concern but he nods his head toward the bunk room. “She’s in her bunk. I’ll take you to her.”

Matt leads Antonio to Stella and then sticks around for his questions. Stella tells Antonio Billy’s story and he asks if she believes it. She says she does and when Matt asks why the answer they receive is horrifying.

“When they admitted the upstairs neighbor into the burn unit at Chicago Med they found that before she got burned up somebody raped her and left her for dead.”

“Oh my God,” Stella says, horror obvious in her voice.

“Intelligence is on the case, obviously,” he informs them. “So, if you hear from this guy again or remember anything else let us know, yeah?”

“Yeah, of course,” Stella agrees.

Once Antonio’s gone Matt turns to Stella and is sure to use an authoritative tone. “Just in case, if this guy comes around, you have someone with you when you talk to him, copy?”

She nods. “Copy, Lieutenant.”

Christ, that was not where he saw that call going. That poor woman.

Matt retreats to his quarters to work on reports and do a few things for Stilettos in private. It’s the only way he avoids teasing. He doesn’t emerge again until Severide walks into the bunkroom and approaches Stella.

“Kidd, there’s a guy out here that says you pulled him out of the Wabash fire?”

“Billy Carsen?”

“I guess.”

Kidd gets up and immediately leaves while Severide turns to look at Matt. Matt points after Stella at Kelly’s expectant stare.

“Go with her?” Matt asks. “I’m drowning in reports.”

“Yeah, I got it,” he replies. He looks confused and Matt doesn’t really have time to explain but Severide goes with the flow and follows Kidd out to the apparatus floor.

He goes back to work and just as he gets in the zone again Otis knocks on his door. Matt looks up at him, trying to hide his irritation, as Otis speaks.

“Have you seen Brett? Mills sent us a care package of food and she was there when we opened it. I haven’t seen her since. You don’t think it upset her, do you?”

Man, he’d never realized how little these people understood about Sylvie until just now. Did she really seem that fragile to everyone else?

“Haven’t seen her, but I’m sure she’s fine,” he replies absently.

“I’m gonna go check the ambo.”

Matt has a feeling that’s exactly where she is -- likely hiding in the back with a good book or a magazine or two -- and she probably wouldn’t want to be disturbed.

“Leave her alone, Otis,” Matt orders. “You don’t have to coddle her. She’s not going to break. Give her space.”

“Okay, if you say so--”

“I say so,” Matt says, cutting him off in a firm voice.

Otis nods and walks away without another word, but he’s put the worry in Matt’s subconscious. He _knows_ Sylvie is fine, but it wouldn’t hurt to verify that visually would it? He sighs at his own stupidity and walks out to the app floor. He marches straight over to the rig and knocks on the back doors. There’s movement through the window and he takes a step back just in time for one door to swing open.

“Hey,” she says brightly before glancing beyond him warily. “Do you need something?”

He smirks as he spots the copy of Us Weekly in her hand and shakes his head. “No. Just checking in. Everyone in the house thinks you’re a fragile little bird and I just had to confirm I know you better than they do.”

She laughs at him and nods. “Ah, okay. Do you feel sufficiently superior yet?”

“Hold on, almost. I just need a few more seconds.”

Her quiet giggle almost soothes the lingering horror from the bomb Antonio dropped on him and Stella earlier. The kind of joy she exudes is a welcome distraction from a job that’s sometimes too dark and horrible.

“And now I’m good,” he says with a decisive bob of his head.

“I’m happy for you,” she tells him with a smug smile. “Can I go back to reading my magazine now or did you need something else?”

“Please, carry on.” She moves to shut the door but he grabs it for her. “Allow me. You want me to let you know when dinner’s ready?”

“Could you?” She asks with a grateful expression. “That would be amazing.”

“Consider it done.”

“You really are the best, Matt Casey.”

He never tires of hearing her say that and he doesn’t think he ever will.

Just as he moves to close the door a call for Ambo 61 only comes in.

“Oh, even better,” Sylvie says brightly. “Work!”

Shay reaches them just as Sylvie climbs out the back.

“Be careful,” Matt calls after them as they load up.

They both wave in acknowledgment of his words before driving away.

He goes back to his quarters to finish up his reports and doesn’t come back out until dinner. He’s setting aside a plate for Sylvie when she and Leslie walk through the common room doorway. Leslie’s arm is around Sylvie and she’s beaming at her proudly.

“You guys, I have a total badass for a partner,” Leslie says before parting ways with Sylvie to get in line for food.

Sylvie blushes and rolls her eyes. “It wasn’t that big of a deal. The guy’s hand was bloody and it didn’t make sense that he would jump a locked gate if he was _supposed_ to be there.”

“What happened?” Matt asks as he motions her over to take the second plate from him. 

“We rolled up on a victim with a fractured leg caught on a metal fence, and my partner here saw the warning signs of a robbery and busted through the lock on the gate to check inside the building. Wouldn’t you know it, she found a woman with four huge stab wounds on her back nearly bleeding out in the hallway. Turns out the broken leg guy robbed her and stabbed her and left her for dead,” Leslie brags as she fills her plate. “We called for a second ambo and police back up. They arrested the guy as we were leaving.”

Matt focuses his eyes on Sylvie and smiles brightly at her as he listens to the story. “Badass is absolutely right. Nice save.”

She shrugs sheepishly. “Just doing my job. I don’t need a thank you for it. I mean, other than a paycheck, obviously.”

“That goes beyond just doing your job, Farmgirl,” Shay tells her with a scoff. “That’s being _damn good_ at your job. Learn how to handle praise. I have a feeling you’re gonna get a lot of it in the future.”

Leslie walks away to find a seat next to Severide and Matt bumps Sylvie’s arm as he hands her silverware. 

“She’s right. Doing your job and being extremely capable at your job are two totally different things. You’re good at this, Sylvie. It’s okay to be proud of it,” Matt assures her.

“I don’t know,” she says as they make their way to the round table. “I guess I’m just not used to hearing people tell me I’m good at this? I was part time in Fowlerton and we didn’t see too much action, you know? Working here is the first time my skills have really been tested. It’s just...new, is all.”

“Well, don’t worry, 51 will make sure you know how you’re doing,” Matt tells her with a chuckle. “Nobody's shy here.”

She laughs and the sound pulls the corners of his mouth upward. 

“I’ve noticed,” she replies. “I’m grateful.”

And he’s grateful for her. Is that too sappy? It probably is, but he can’t say he cares.


	46. Spinning Faster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Casey sees Jack Nesbitt's true colors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** Well, I wrote two more chapters this weekend so you guys get another one! Yay! I’m officially on 4x01 now in my rewrite! Hopefully you guys like my take on the final episodes of S3! 
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“This world keeps spinning faster,_

_Into a new disaster,_

_So, I run to you,_

_I run to you, baby._

_When it all starts coming undone,_

_Baby, you're the only one I run to,_

_I run to you.”_

_-“I Run to You” by Lady A_

******

“What are you doing off shift?” Matt asks Severide as they leave the Firehouse.

“Antonio asked me to take a look at the Wabash Fire. He said he wants a gut check. I’m meeting Kidd there in a few minutes,” Kelly answers. “You?”

“Heading back to Stilettos. The mirrored glass goes in today, and I’m still catching up from that one day I let Otis and Cruz help out.”

Kelly laughs. “Yeah, you should have seen that one coming.”

“I thought I’d give them a shot. It’s fine. I’ll make it up,” Matt grumbles. 

“How’s Brett doing with the whole Mills thing?” Severide asks curiously.

“She’s good, I think. She says she is anyway,” he replies with a shrug. “She doesn’t want anyone coddling her, that’s for sure.”

“That’s a good sign,” Severide says with a chuckle. “She’s a hell of a lot tougher than she looks.”

Matt nods his agreement. “Tougher than _she_ thinks too, I’d wager. I’ll see you back at the apartment tonight.”

He parts ways with Severide to go to work at the club. He puts in a long day all by himself. He’ll bring in a full crew tomorrow and should be back ahead of schedule before his next shift at 51. He’s about to finish up the glass install on one wall when one of the dancers, Katya, shows up with dinner. He tries to refuse but she doesn’t let him, and he has to admit he’s glad she insisted. The conversation was interesting and he certainly couldn’t complain about the view. Katya is beautiful. He likes her very much.

Their conversation left him interested in her and more than a little worried. She seems sweet, and sometimes when she talks he gets the impression she’s in over her head. She looks troubled, afraid, at certain moments, but it’s fleeting. It passes so quickly that he’s not sure if maybe he imagined it. She seems to enjoy her job and has a good relationship with Jack. Maybe he’s gotten too used to saving people and he’s dreaming up danger where there isn’t any.

He’ll also admit to having a little bit of a crush on her. Not that he’ll ever do anything about it. She works for a client and that would cross one of his professional boundaries. Plus, there’s the fact that he also has a tangled mess of feelings for Sylvie Brett.

After Katya leaves, he finishes up installing the glass and then cleans up after himself. When he gets home, he finds Severide and Shay talking across the breakfast bar.

“You’re just letting her allow this tool to jerk her around?” Severide asks Shay with a scowl.

“No one _lets_ Kidd do anything. We offer her advice and then she makes her own decisions,” Shay replies with an eyeroll. “She’s doing her best to dump him, Sev. Cut her a break. It’s hard when you’ve known someone as long as she’s known him.”

Matt tosses his bag down on the couch and furrows his brow at them. “What’s going on?”

“Stella’s ex is holding out on a divorce. He’s leveraging last ditch couples therapy for signing the papers,” Severide spits irritably. “Jackass.”

Shay gives Casey a tired glance, making it clear to him that his roommates have been discussing this topic for far too long already. 

“Sev, she’s been wanting him to _try_ the entire time they’ve been separated and now he finally is,” Shay explains. “It might be too little too late but the only way she’s going to find out is if she goes. She’ll be fine. Why are you so worked up over this anyway?”

Matt smirks but avoids looking at either of them as he heads to the fridge to grab a beer.

“I’m not _worked up_ ,” he argues. “I’m just concerned. About a _friend_.”

Matt snorts and pops the top off of his beer bottle. “Sure, _friend_.”

“Hey!” Kelly says, pointing an accusing finger at him. “You’re one to talk. You want me to pivot to you and Brett? Cause I can.”

“Oh my god,” Shay says, resting a palm on her forehead. She sounds amused and frustrated all at once. “You’re both idiots.” She removes the hand and then shoots Severide a scolding glare. “Leave Stella alone about Grant. Let her figure it out _for herself_. Understood?”

Severide mutters something unintelligible under his breath before eventually nodding. “Fine.” Kelly takes a beat and then looks at Leslie expectantly. “You gonna lecture Casey about anything?”

“No, he’s doing what he’s supposed to do. Be a friend, _first_ and _foremost_ ,” Shay tells him. “You should try it. You might get better results.”

“For the record, I’ve never really admitted out loud in explicit terms that I--”

Kelly and Leslie interrupt his denial at the exact same time with the exact same phrase and the exact same disbelieving stare. “Shut up.”

“You don’t have to,” Kelly tells him with a smirk. 

Shay nods and chuckles softly. “To anyone who really knows you it’s completely obvious.”

Matt decides it’s time to change the topic. “What happened with the Wabash walk through?”

“We found shredded tires in the bedroom upstairs. The melted rubber leaked through the ceiling and into the downstairs. The neighbor saw a guy in doctor’s scrubs leaving the building just before the fire started too. Looks like big Billy Carsen didn’t do it,” Severide informs him. “Kidd and I took the neighbor to meet Antonio so he could get a statement. Kidd was gonna stop by Carsen’s motel and let him know he’s in the clear.”

“Well, that part’s good, at least,” Matt says with a tired sigh.

“How was work?” Shay asks him.

He shrugs. “A lot more productive when I’m not having to give Otis remedial classes on basic tools. I’m going back tomorrow with a full _professional_ crew. Should be back to ahead of schedule after that.”

“You’re the only person I know who thinks being _on schedule_ is a bad thing,” Leslie tells him with a teasing smirk. 

“It’s not bad,” he corrects her. “It’s just not good _enough_.”

“Ah, of course, that’s completely different then,” she comments dryly.

“Hey,” he says grinning at her good natured teasing. “At least it means I get shit done.”

******

The next shift turns out to be somewhat chaotic. It’s a normal shift until Stella gets a worrisome voicemail from Billy Carsen. He doesn’t know he’s been cleared yet and they’re worried he may do something drastic. Kidd and Boden have a bad feeling and they have Severide call Antonio to ping his phone. 

They track down Billy standing at the edge of an overpass, intending to jump. He and Severide rope up to try and grab him but it’s decided that’s too risky. Stella believes she can talk him down and Boden gives her a shot at it. They clip her into the rope line and she shimmies across the edge of the overpass. The rope gets caught on something and for a moment she’s stuck. They can all see how worried and frantic she is to reach Billy, but she stops and takes a moment to assess the situation.

Matt can’t help grinning a little proudly at Kidd’s clear head. She backtracks a few steps and finds the problem. The rope was caught on a loose piece of metal. It’s a split second delay but she’s much safer on the rope then off. 

They all listen and Stella talks Billy down, beautifully. There’s one scary moment where Billy almost pulls them both off the ledge, but since Stella’s still on the rope his guys are able to keep her balanced.

Kelly looks ready to jump in and grab Kidd at any moment, but it all works out fine. 

Kidd and Billy grab the railing and Truck and Squad pull them over. 

As ambo is wheeling Billy toward the rig, Matt spots Kelly and Stella having a moment out of the corner of his eye. Matt smirks and wonders if, in Kelly’s pursuit of April, he sees just how deeply he’s invested in Stella or if April is just enough of a distraction to keep that realization at bay. 

The night after that shift, Matt finishes up his bid for Nesbitt’s chain of clubs -- having decided at Katya’s advice to give it a shot -- and immediately regrets his decision. He likes Katya and he thought he liked Jack. He wanted to work with him on a more long term basis. 

But he walked in on something sketchy going on in his office. Jack’s reaction was more than enough to tell him that. 

_“You do construction, great. You flirt with the girls, great. You wanna take one of them home, I don’t give a damn. But don’t come looking for me back there.”_

Not only was the implication that Matt would use a job to take advantage of women absolutely disgusting, but he didn’t like the idea of there being a forbidden space at Stilettos. That meant Jack was involved in some shady business. Which meant if they went into business together then _Casey_ would be involved in some shady business. That was the last thing he needed. So, he told Jack exactly how it felt about his little threat.

_“Do me a favor, Jack? Take your job and piss off.”_

They’re done. He’ll finish the renovation but then he never wants to see Jack Nesbitt again.

He doesn’t need the money or the business _that_ badly.

For some reason, the first thing he wants to do after storming out of the club is go see _Sylvie_. He doesn’t even bother to call before making the drive. He’s truthfully not fully present until he finishes knocking on her door and realizes where he is.

The door swings open and Sylvie’s eyes narrow in concern.

“What happened?” She asks as she opens the door wider and waves him inside. “You look mad.”

“I’m not just mad,” he sneers. “I’m _pissed_. Jack Nesbitt is an asshole and I never should have taken this job. You know, he actually implied that I could take one of his dancer’s home as if it was an employment benefit! Who the _fuck_ does that?”

Sylvie’s face pinches in disgust. “Um, _gross_. Is that what pissed you off?”

“No, but it didn’t help,” Matt mutters as he sheds his jacket and shuts the door behind him. “He was having some weird sort of backroom meeting and he turned very shifty when I walked up on it. I don’t have room for that kind of suspicious behavior in my life right now. I’ll finish the back room and then I’m _done_.”

“Sounds as if that’s the best thing to do if you ask me,” Sylvie tells him. She walks away from him, toward the kitchen, and he immediately follows. “Where there’s sketchy closed door meetings, there’s typically crime, and then typically danger. You face enough danger at 51. You don’t need any more of it.”

“Exactly!” He exclaims in frustration.

She opens the fridge and grabs a beer, opening it for him and then placing it in his hand. “I’m sorry, Casey. I know you were looking forward to the work.”

“The work isn’t worth dealing with a lowlife like Nesbitt. I should have seen that sooner,” he says, admonishing himself before taking a sip of beer.

“Don’t beat yourself up about it,” she says as she leans against the counter, facing him. “You didn’t know. The important thing is how you react _now_. Cutting ties with him is a good decision, Matt. Focus on that.”

He releases a harsh breath and closes his eyes to recenter himself. When he opens them again, he finds Sylvie smiling softly at him. That alone improves his mood.

“Are you hungry?” She asks. “I made dinner for two and forgot Stella had a date tonight.”

It just so happens, he hasn’t managed to eat dinner yet. How fortunate he showed up when he did.

“I am, actually,” he replies, feeling much more relaxed than he had when he knocked on her door a few minutes ago.

“Good,” she declares. “That settles it then. You’re having dinner with me and we’re _not_ going to think about Jack Nesbitt or Stilettos for the rest of the night. Copy?”

He grins warmly at her and nods, grateful for the distraction. “Copy.”


	47. Anytime She's Around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt needs a distraction from Stilettos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** Okay, so this chapter is really where the drama for the S3 finale begins. But most of this chapter is more Brettsey friendship fluff lmao.
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“And I feel fine anytime she's around me now,_

_she's around me now almost all the time,_

_And if I'm well you can tell she's been with me now,_

_She's been with me now quite a long, long time and I feel fine.”_

_-“Something In The Way She Moves” by James Taylor_

******

Matt decided to take a day off from Stilettos to let things between him and Jack cool off. He didn’t actually have that much more work to do on the room. He could afford it. Instead, he was over at Sylvie and Stella’s. During dinner the other night he’d noticed that a few handles had fallen off of their cabinets and that a couple of the drawers sometimes stuck. 

They were easy fixes as long as he had the right hardware. He was purposefully taking a day off from Stilettos but manual labor helped him clear his mind so he _needed_ to do some sort of work today. There was also the added bonus of spending more time with Sylvie.

When he arrives, Sylvie answers the door in an old oversized T-shirt. For a moment he thinks that’s all she’s wearing and nearly turns and leaves out of sheer panic. But before he can flee the scene he spots the frayed edges of cut off denim shorts.

“Hey! Right on time,” she says brightly as she beckons him in and shuts the door behind him. “So, you mentioning the cabinet hardware last night got me thinking.”

“Oh yeah?” He asks, still trying to pack away the idea of Sylvie in nothing but a t-shirt.

“Well, a project would be nice right now and I’ve always hated the color of the wood in the kitchen, so…”

He sets his tools down as they enter the kitchen and his eyes widen. “So, you removed all the hardware, all the doors and drawers, and then sanded everything.” He laughs quietly before tossing her an amazed yet concerned stare. “Did you even sleep? This must have taken _hours_.”

“The cabinets had a factory finish,” she explains with a shrug as if that says it all.

To _him_ , it does say it all. A factory finish only requires light sanding. But to anyone else that answer wouldn’t make sense. If he didn’t already have a huge damn crush on her, he would now. She definitely knows her way around a renovation.

“I went out and bought the rest of the hardware and paint this morning,” she tells him. “I should’ve texted you to make sure what I bought matched what you already had. I went with a satin nickel. I hope that works. I figure it’s clean and classic, and pretty sturdy.”

He smirks and then hands her the paper bag that holds the hardware he brought over. She peeks inside and laughs.

“I went with satin nickel too,” he says, despite knowing she’s already seen the contents of the bag. “For all the same reasons.”

“Look at that,” Sylvie replies with a fond grin. “We both have _excellent_ taste.”

He holds his hand up for a high five and she enthusiastically obliges. “If you’ll start painting then I’ll start replacing the tracks and wheels on these drawers.”

She nods. “I’ll start to the east and then when you’re done you can start to the west?”

“Sounds like a solid plan to me,” he agrees.

They work in comfortable silence. Sylvie painting primer on the sanded wood. Matt removing all the old drawer hardware and replacing it. He notices it’s also filled. She went the extra mile to smooth out the woodgrain by filling it. (Why does he find that sexy? That shouldn’t be sexy.) 

It finally registers, after a half hour, that the apartment is eerily quiet for ten in the morning.

“Where’s Kidd?” Matt asks, as he finishes up the first of two drawers.

Sylvie releases a deep worried sigh before she answers him. “Marriage counseling with Grant.”

“You sound like you didn’t want her to go,” Matt observes.

“I didn’t,” she confirms, while brushing on long slow strokes of primer. “I mean, I want her to be happy, but this Grant guy—he reminds of Harrison, only he’s ten times worse than Harrison. He just seems to have a lot of problems that are too big to be solved by Stella and Stella alone, and I think she feels like she owes him and he won’t get help for himself so she goes out of her way for him.” 

Sylvie stops painting and turns to face Matt with a furrowed brow. “She’s gotten better about it, but I’ve had a front row seat to all of it. This guy is...well, he’s scary. He doesn’t seem violent but he does get aggressive and there doesn’t seem to be any way to know what might set him off.”

“When you say he reminds you of Harrison, you mean…?”

“He knows exactly what to say to prey on all of Stella’s fears and insecurities. He’s very good at poking at her vulnerabilities until she does just what he wants. I try not to nag her too much about it because, she’s right, I don’t know Grant the way she does. But I dated someone _like him_ for years. It breaks you but you’re so close to the situation that you don’t see it happening until it’s too late.” She lets out a shuddering breath as her eyes mist over, reliving some old scars he can’t really see. “I don’t want that for her anymore. So, no, I didn’t want her to go. But she’s _Stella_. She’s gonna do exactly what she wants to do.”

Someday, he’d really like to _have a word_ with Harrison. 

He sets aside the second drawer and crosses the kitchen until he’s standing directly in front of her. “Did you or did you not dump that douchebag?”

She fights a grin and nods. “I did.”

“Kidd will too,” Matt insists. “I put out literal fires with her, side by side. She’s strong and she knows her own worth. She’ll figure it out. All you have to do is be there for her while she does, and you seem to be doing a pretty great job of that so far.”

She blinks back the water pooling in her eyes and smiles bashfully at him. “Thank you, Matt.”

“Is that why you needed a project?” He asks as he forces himself to step away from her and get back to work.

“Partly,” she admits. “The other part of this is trying to keep my hands busy so I don’t call Pete. I know talking to him won’t help, but I still miss him. I think I just need to get through this next week, you know? Eventually the edge will wear off and I’ll stop thinking about him so much. I feel like I should stay busy until then.”

The reminder of her relationship with Mills deflates his mood slightly, but he understands the need to keep busy.

“Well, you’re not the only one who’s happy to have a project as a distraction,” Matt confesses. “I’m here working on this so I don’t go back to Stilettos and get into it with Nesbitt all over again.”

“In that case, I am happy to keep you away from that place. If Nesbitt is as shady as you think he is then I’d rather you be there as little as possible,” Sylvie declares with more than a little protectiveness in her tone.

He grins to himself, enjoying the idea of Sylvie worrying about him. “That’s the plan.”

He finishes with the second drawer and then starts priming the other half of the cabinets. They carry on working quietly. It’s remarkable to him that it doesn’t feel awkward. It’s companionable. They don’t feel the need to fill every moment of silence. They can simply...be. He knows how rare that is, but he wonders if Sylvie does. 

They meet in the middle just in time for lunch. 

“You wanna get out of here?” She asks. “Let this dry for a while?”

He nods. “Sure. I’d like that.”

“I got the quick drying primer so it shouldn't take too long. Lunch and a movie?” She asks. “That should give it a good three to four hours.”

He quirks a brow at her with a teasing grin. “That depends on the movie.”

“Oh, well obviously we’ll be seeing _Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2_ ,” she says with a deadly serious expression.

He knows she’s joking -- he _hopes_ she’s joking -- but he still says, “You know what? I’m good. I don’t need to see a movie.”

A delighted laugh cracks through her serious expression. “Don’t worry, tough guy. I’m kidding. I think the second _Avengers_ movie just came out. Would superheroes make you feel better about seeing a movie with me?”

“I think so, yes,” he answers with a grin and an eyeroll.

“Good. I wanted to see Chris Evans anyway,” she tells him, smiling victoriously. “Let me just grab my bag.”

As she walks to grab her bag, she ties her oversized shirt up at the waist, showing off her trim figure. He catches a glimpse of her midriff and forces himself to focus on _anything_ else. He’s having to remind himself that Sylvie’s still getting over Mills way more often than he should. As much as he likes being around her, he should probably start thinking about dating again. 

Now that the job with Nesbitt is winding down, he’ll have time for that again.

Not only that, but dating someone else would have the advantage of keeping him from doing anything stupid, like telling Sylvie about his feelings at the worst possible moment.

******

They go to the movie first and then stop for deep dish afterward. 

Sylvie remembers not being such a fan of deep dish pizza growing up in Indiana, but there’s something about Chicago deep dish that she can’t pass up. Or maybe it was the company that made it great. It’s hard to tell when she’s with Matt. 

It’s been wonderful to spend the day not thinking about Pete or Stella. For most of the day, she’s been in the present moment with _him_. She’s laughed a lot more today than she has in a few days and that’s all because of Matt. Her friendship with him comes so easily that it’s hard to believe it’s real sometimes.

They get back to the apartment four hours later, just enough time for the primer to dry. They sand down the cabinets again and then apply the first coat of paint.

“This is perfect,” she says as she finishes up the front of the last door from her drop cloth covered kitchen table. Matt’s busy painting the actual cabinets. “The slate gray is gonna look so much better and it can dry while we’re on shift tomorrow and then when I get back home I can buff and apply the last coat.”

“I can come back and help if you need me to,” he offers. 

She gives him a soft scolding look. “Won’t you need to get back to finishing up Stilettos?”

He huffs and nods. “Probably.”

“Don’t worry about it. Getting started is always the hardest part,” she assures him. “You were a huge help. And...a lot of fun. Thanks for today. I enjoyed it.”

“Thanks for letting me tag along,” he replies modestly. “As weird as it sounds, manual labor is restful for me.”

She chuckles and nods. “I get that. Something about working with your hands is therapeutic.”

“Exactly,” he agrees. “And there’s nothing like the pride of a job well done. To me anyway.”

They really don’t make them like Matt Casey anymore, do they? He’s truly one of a kind and she finds herself just a bit more grateful for him every day.

The front door abruptly opens and slams. It slams so hard that Sylvie can feel the vibration of it through the floor. Her brow furrows and Matt’s up like a shot, racing toward the sound before she even manages to stand from her chair.

They reach the living room to find Stella pacing, rubbing her arms while they’re folded across her chest.

“Everything okay?” Matt asks her worriedly.

Kidd looks up, startled by Matt’s voice. “Lieutenant. What are you doing here?”

“He’s been helping me paint the kitchen,” Sylvie offers while she gives Stella a concerned once over. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” she says, bitingly.

“Okay,” Sylvie says as she softens her voice in an attempt to sooth. “You look a little on edge though, Stella. And the way you slammed the door--”

“I had a fight with Grant,” she clarifies. “That’s all. No big deal.”

Matt gives Sylvie a look that tells her he’s as unconvinced by Stella’s explanation as she is. Stella’s eyes are wild and frantic and her cheeks are flushed. She looks scared -- _terrified_. It also seems odd that she’s folded her arms around herself so tightly.

“Why don’t you sit,” Matt suggests. “You want anything to drink? I can get you something. Water, maybe?”

She shakes her head and doesn’t budge.

Sylvie steps closer and reaches for Stella’s arms but she jerks away.

That’s a red flag if Sylvie’s ever seen one.

“Stella,” she says sternly, pulling her friend’s attention away from the closed door. Once Stella’s gaze meets hers, she asks again. “What happened?”

“I handled it,” Kidd grits out. “And he’s never done anything like this before. He’s not a bad guy. He just...he needs help. More help than I can give him. I’m--I’m gonna take care of it.”

“Handled what?” Matt asks, steely edge to his voice. She’s heard that tone only once before. After Pridgen. 

Stella takes a deep breath and then drops her arms. Sylvie couldn’t stop her gasp even if she tried. There were handprint shaped bruises blossoming on Stella’s upper arms. Not light bruises either. Sylvie had seen those kinds of bruises on dozens of calls. They’ll turn ugly shades of yellow, black, and blue. 

“Did you call the cops?” Matt asks through a tense jaw.

“No,” Kidd replies with a thick swallow. “He needs help not jail. I’ll handle it.”

“No,” Sylvie insists with a shake of her head. “No, you won’t. He _hurt you_ , Stella. You assured Shay and I that he wasn’t violent, but look at your arms!”

“He’s not! He’s not violent! He never has been before! I just pissed him off. I told him counseling wasn’t going to change anything between us and he lost it! It’s the drugs. He was high out of his mind! Even the therapist noticed. He’s worse than I’ve ever seen him.”

Sylvie knows Stella can hear how weak that defense sounds. High or not, he shouldn’t have touched her.

“If I sign the papers and stay firm on the divorce then he’ll take the hint and move on,” Stella says as she turns to face both of them. She turns a pleading glance on Matt. “You can’t tell anyone about this, please. Don’t call the cops. It’ll just send him into a tailspin. I want him out of my life but I don’t want to get a call saying somebody found him dead from an OD. Casey, please.”

Matt’s hands are fisted at his sides but at Stella’s pleading, both his hands come up to rest on the back of his neck and he pushes back against them, as if stretching and kneading tense muscles. “It’s not my call to make, Kidd. As much as I hate that fact. Frankly, I think it’s a terrible idea to not file a fucking police report, but this is your story and your marriage. That being said, if he shows up here or to the Firehouse it won’t be your call anymore, it’ll be mine or Sylvie’s. If he’s a danger to you or anyone else then he doesn’t need to be out on the street.”

Kidd nods and then turns her tearful desperate eyes on Sylvie. “Brett? Please, don’t tell anyone. Not the cops or Shay or--or anyone. I’m not gonna let it happen again and you have my word that if it comes close to this even one more time, I’ll file a police report. I _promise_.”

Sylvie lets out a resigned sigh and nods. “Don’t make me regret this, Stella. If he escalates or if this gets worse in any way I will never forgive myself.”

“It won’t! I won’t let it,” she swears. “It’s gonna be fine. He needs more help than I can offer him. I’m gonna sign those papers and find him a program somewhere. I can’t be married to him any longer but I also can’t watch him circle the drain like this. I have to help him.”

“Just don’t lose yourself while trying to do that,” Sylvie requests, wrapping Stella up in a warm hug. “I understand wanting to help someone you love, but please be careful.”

She nods and sinks into the hug for a few minutes. When she pulls away she lets out a relieved breath. “I’m gonna go take a long hot shower. Wash this day away.”

Sylvie nods. “Okay. Take your time.”

Once she disappears down the hall, Matt’s hand lands on her shoulder to turn her to face him.

“I’m serious, Sylvie. If that psycho shows up here--”

“I know,” she interrupts with a somber expression. “Trust me, we’re on the same page here. If I see his face I’m dialing 9-1-1.”

“You keep an eye on her off shift and I’ll keep an eye on her on shift,” Matt orders. “Hopefully this blows over like she thinks it will.”

For once, her thoughts are less optimistic than Matt’s. She has a terrible feeling about all of this.


	48. Steamroller

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nesbitt attempts to apologize and Firehouse 51 has an unwelcome visitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** So I finished a scene I’ve been trying to work on for 3 days AND wrapped up a chapter so to celebrate, I’m posting again! Yay! Enjoy!
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“Yeah, I'm a napalm bomb for you, baby,_

_just guaranteed to blow your mind_

_And if I can't have your love for my own, sweet child,_

_won't be nothing left behind,_

_It seems how lately, baby, got a bad case steamroller blues.”_

_-“Steamroller” by James Taylor_

******

“So, I have news,” Stella announces to her and Shay as they walk into 51.

“Good news?” Sylvie asks worriedly.

Stella nods and grins eagerly. “Grant agreed to sign the divorce papers!”

Probably as an apology for bruising Stella, Sylvie thinks bitterly. 

“That’s amazing, Stella!” Shay says as she wraps an arm around Kidd’s shoulders and pulls her into her side. “When is this happening?”

“Tomorrow morning,” she tells them. “My lawyer called this morning to tell me Grant caved on everything. He signed the papers and dropped them off. I’m going in after I get off shift to finalize everything.”

“Wow!” Sylvie said with a warm smile. “Finally, that’s great!”

“Yes, it is,” Stella says with a sigh of relief. “There’s still work to do. I’m going to help him find a solid rehab program. He needs it. And then once I’ve done that I’m putting as much space between me and him as possible. It’s time.”

It’s the part that comes after the divorce and before giving him space that concerns Sylvie the most. “Just be careful,” Sylvie asks her.

“I will, I promise,” Stella replies.

The walk into the bunkroom just as Matt is getting settled in his quarters. Brett splits off from Shay and Kidd to talk to him. He’s set a bottle of, what appears to be, scotch on his desk and is standing in front of it with his arms crossed, glaring at it as if the bottle offended him.

“Morning,” she says as she leans on the open door way. She points between Matt and the bottle. “What’s with the grudge match?”

“It’s an apology gift from Nesbitt,” Matt says with a frustrated huff. “Guys like him always think they can buy people off.”

Her lips form a small warm smile. “Well, guys like him don’t expect to come across guys like you. Honorable guys. _Good_ guys. If you ignore him long enough, he’ll go away.”

She chooses to compliment him because she means it. It’s the truth. She’s not sure what reaction she expected, but it wasn’t a blush. Matt Casey, honest to god, _blushed_. She’s only seen that happen once before. It’s just as adorable as it was the first time.

“I think you’re giving me a little too much credit,” he says modestly. 

She rolls her eyes at him in fond exasperation. “What is it you tell me all the time? Oh yeah, _take the compliment_.” She tries to impersonate him on those last few words. She’s only partially successful. 

He laughs softly and nods. “Right. That’s fair. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

He holds her gaze for a moment and grins at her causing her to grin right back at him. She’s pretty positive they look like a couple of idiots but she doesn’t particularly care. 

He clears his throat and looks away from her, ending their moment. “How’s Kidd?”

“Better today. Apparently, Grant signed the divorce papers and dropped them off at her lawyer’s this morning,” Brett informs him.

“Probably because he sobered up and thought that would make it all okay,” Matt says angrily. “But at least that’s progress -- even if it happens for all the wrong reasons.”

“My thoughts exactly,” Sylvie concurs with a tired sigh. “Whatever gets her away from him sooner is fine with me. Anyway, I was just checking in and saying good morning. I’ll see you at breakfast in a few?”

He nods. “I’ll be there.”

She leaves him to contemplate his bottle of scotch some more and heads to the locker room to stash her stuff and start the day. It’s mornings like this that remind her how lucky she is to work with people she genuinely cares about.

******

A couple of hours later, Connie stops Matt in the hall. 

“Oh, Lieutenant,” she says. “Sergeant Voight is on the phone for you.”

Voight? What the fuck does that bastard want? “Why?”

“He didn’t say.”

As luck would have it the bells choose that moment to go off. Matt is saved the dilemma of deciding whether or not to talk to him. The call is for Ambo, Truck, and Squad.

“Tell Voight to fu--”

“Ah!” Connie interrupts, holding up a hand to stop him. “I got you.”

Ambo and Truck arrive on the scene first. A teenage boy fell down a hillside and almost into a steep rock quarry. From the top of the hill, they can see he hit his head. There’s blood visible. They try to call out his name but get no response. Squad is still a mile or two out. Casey and Boden make the judgement call to go ahead with the rescue without Squad. Boden calls them off, advising them to stand-by. 

Truck’s gonna rope in and get the kid using a Stokes basket. 

They hook up Kidd and Herrmann, their two lightest, and send them down toward the kid, who’s name is Justin. Kidd has paramedic training and assesses him once they reach him. He’s breathing, but it’s possible he could have a back or neck injury and there’s a gash on his forehead. They get a c-collar on him and buckle him into the basket. As they’re about to pull the victim up, Squad arrives. 

Severide goes to offer Boden an assist while Casey oversees Truck as they haul everyone up. The Squad guys pitch in where they can. There’s a moment where Herrmann almost slips but he catches himself much to Casey’s relief. Squad helps carry the victim to Ambo. 

It all worked out and went as well as it could.

Until they get back to the house and Kidd goes to the locker room to swap out her jacket. The one she’s wearing now is covered in dirt and dust and needs to be washed. At the same time, Severide makes a run to grab something out of his locker, his phone charger Matt thinks.

Next thing he knows, there’s yelling coming from the direction of the locker room and Stella’s storming out, one arm inside the sleeves of her fresh jacket. Severide is hot on her heels.

“What hell, Stella? Those are clear _handprints_ and they’re _black and blue_. And you’re _not_ going to report that asshole?”

Brett enters the room at the sound of the commotion and puts herself between Stella and Kelly. Kelly is red in the face with rage and Stella’s expression is hard and stubborn. This has the potential to get blown way out of proportion. Casey stands in the open doorway of his quarters watching the scene playing out in the middle of the bunkroom.

“Okay, okay, guys, let’s take it down a notch,” Sylvie suggests softly, holding her hands out to both of them. 

Severide immediately turns his anger on Brett. “Did you know about this? You don’t seem surprised.”

“Severide, she’s _fine_. And she promised me that if he tried anything else she would--”

“If he tries anything else?” Kelly asks, with a bitter chuckle. “Jesus, Brett, you hear yourself, right? If he tries anything else it might be too late.”

“Don’t yell at her,” Stella tells him with a glare. “I asked her not to say anything. Be mad at me.”

“I am mad at you!” Kelly exclaims. “I can be mad at two people at once. Trust me.”

“You don’t know Grant like I do, Kelly, he was wasted out of his mind and--”

“Yeah, cause that makes it better,” Kelly scoffs. He turns to look at Matt for support. “Are you hearing this? You wanna say something?”

“Kidd and I already talked about it,” Matt says. He gives Kelly an apologetic glance but then stands firm on the deal he made with Stella. “If he shows up here or at their apartment then we get the cops involved. As long as she’s careful, I’m fine with that. It’s her relationship, Severide. She has the final say in how this goes. Not us.”

He can tell Severide’s ramping up for a lecture, but Matt never gets to hear it. Connie suddenly appears at the door.

“Casey, Sergeant Voight wants to talk to you.”

“Not interested,” Matt responds immediately. He has a more pressing situation unfolding right now. “And tell him to stop calling.”

“He’s not on the phone this time,” Connie declares before walking away.

What? What does that mean? He can’t actually be... 

Matt turns to Kelly, Kidd, and Brett and holds up a finger. “Gimme a second. Be right back.”

Sure enough, he _is_. Voight is waiting for him in the briefing room. What the hell?

“You have thirty seconds,” Matt says, warily.

Voight walks past him to close the briefing room door. “Listen, your buddy at the strip club, Jack Nesbitt, he’s into some nasty business. We need a man on the inside. I think you could be that man.”

Yeah, right. Not a chance in hell.

“Sorry,” he says. “I’m out of the Nesbitt business. I’m not going back.”

Matt heads for the door, satisfied that he’d heard Voight out and hopeful that the man would leave him alone. 

“Casey.”

“I’m sure as hell not in the Voight business,” Matt insists as he opens the door. “Never will be.”

He walks away and doesn’t look back. Whatever Voight wants from him is not worth having to be reminded of what Hank tried to do to him and Hallie.

When he makes it back to the bunkroom he finds both Kelly and Kidd gone and Brett sitting on the bunk in his quarters.

“What happened?” He asks in confusion.

“Well, they’re now both pissed at me and have retreated to opposite corners of the house,” she replies, blowing out a tense breath. 

Matt’s brow furrows. “Why are they pissed at _you_?”

“Severide is pissed that you and I knew and let Stella get away with not reporting it and Stella is pissed that I told her Kelly had some pretty justifiable concerns. I am officially straddling the fence as far as I can straddle it and neither side is talking to me,” Brett tells him, sighing hopelessly.

“That’s hardly fair,” Matt comments as he sits down next to her.

“They’re angry and they need someone to blame it on,” Sylvie says with a shrug. “I’m an easy target. It’s fine. I’m choosing to believe it’ll work itself out. What did Sergeant Voight want?”

Matt looks up at his open door and stands to shut it. He has a feeling Voight wouldn’t want anyone to over hear what he’s about to tell Sylvie. He’d probably prefer him not telling her at all but he has to tell _someone_.

“Turns out, Nesbitt is as shady as I thought he was. Voight’s trying to bust him and he wants a man on the inside. He wants that man on the inside to be me,” Matt tells her. 

“And you said no?” She asks.

“I’m not working with Voight,” Matt answers. “I know you weren’t here for it but a couple of years ago he made my life a living hell just because I wouldn’t leave his son’s name out of an incident report. Planted drugs in my house. Threatened my fiance. Had me ambushed and beaten. He was finally caught while trying to put a price on my head. I don’t know what the fuck kind of blackmail he had or who he had it on but somehow he crawled out of that hole and is now in charge of Intelligence. After all of that, it’ll be a cold day in hell before I do him any sort of favors.”

“You can’t be serious,” Sylvie says in shock as she reaches to touch his arm. “He tried to have you killed? Because of an _incident_ _report_?”

Matt nods. “Yeah, he did.”

“Okay, well, you’re right. No _fucking_ way you’re working with him. Ever.”

Matt grins at her as she curses. He’s relieved he can find anything funny after that interaction with Voight. “Wow, you must really be upset on my behalf. Look at you, swearing and everything.”

She laughs and smacks his arm. “Shut up. Look, I’m serious. Whatever he wants you to do sounds dangerous and if you can’t trust him then you shouldn’t do it. Because if he gets your hurt or, god forbid killed, I will be coming for his ass. Police sergeant or not.”

“I appreciate that,” Matt tells her as he bumps her shoulder playfully. “But I’m not doing it, so you can put away your brass knuckles, Mugsy.”

“Fine, but I reserve the right to get them out again, as needed.”

Matt laughs again and shakes his head. “The image of you taking on Voight is hysterical to me. I’m sorry, I know you can handle yourself but I’m picturing you yelling at him and him not knowing how to respond. It’s pretty damn adorable.”

“Okay, see if I ever offer to defend you again,” Sylvie replies with mock-hurt before her face breaks out into a grin. “I should probably get back to the rig. Shay and I didn’t finish inventory earlier.”

“Yeah, I have reports to fill out,” Matt says as he nods toward his desk.

He watches her leave with a smile on his face. Maybe today hadn’t been the best day so far, but the moments he’d had with Brett were definitely balancing out everything else.

******

She and Shay are almost finished with inventory when a lone figure on a mission walks onto the apparatus floor.

Shay waves as soon as she sees him. “Antonio,” she greets. “What brings you by?”

“I actually came to talk to your partner,” he says before turning and pointing at Sylvie. “Sylvie Brett, right?”

Sylvie nods hesitantly. “What can I help you with?”

“Well, scuttlebutt around town is that you and Matt Casey are pretty close?” He asks. There’s a hint of judgement in his tone, but she’s seen him around enough to know he was Gabby’s brother. She’s choosing to believe that the judgement has more to do with his own grief than her. 

“He’s one of my best friends, yeah. He’s one of Shay’s best friend’s too,” Sylvie points out.

“Yeah, he is, but you’re closer to him than me at this point. The only other person who might know him better than you is Severide,” Shay informs her.

“Look, can I get a minute alone?” Antonio asks. “Just to talk.”

She knows exactly what he wants to talk to her about. She narrows her eyes on him warily but nods. 

Antonio walks her out toward the apron, away from prying ears. “I know Voight came by to talk to Matt earlier and he said no, but Casey should reconsider--”

Sylvie snorts derisively and then gives Antonio a flat look. “I wasn’t here for everything that happened with Voight and Matt but I can tell you he won’t help him _and_ I can tell you that I won’t force him to. Voight only has himself to blame for that.”

Antonio smirks at her, looking amused and impressed. “I agree with all of that, but this isn't about Voight. This is much bigger than Voight. Just hear me out? That’s all I ask.”

She takes in Antonio’s words and his pleading expression before reluctantly nodding. She’s going to regret this. She just knows it.


	49. Crashing Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt has a decision to make.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** We’re moving right along! I finished another chapter so I get to post another chapter! 
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“Take time to realize,_

_That your warmth is crashing down on in._

_Take time to realize,_

_That I am on your side._

_Didn't I, didn't I tell you?”_

_-“Realize” by Colbie Caillat_

******

Well, that wasn’t exactly the shady business she _thought_ Nesbitt would be involved in and she understands now why Voight and Antonio are so desperate for Matt’s help. Sylvie’s still not sure Matt should give it to them. Nesbitt’s involved in some scary stuff. 

She swallows thickly and shoves Antonio’s business card in her jacket pocket. He gave it to her just in case Matt told her anything that might help them. He hadn’t, but Sylvie took the card anway. Now, though, she needs to talk to Matt.

She’s not sure if he should help but he deserves to know what Nesbitt is up to and decide that for himself.

He’s sitting on his bunk going over some papers when she walks through the door.

“Everything okay?” He asks worriedly. “Sev and Kidd aren’t bothering you anymore, are they?”

“No,” she says, stepping further into the room. “Nothing like that. But, um, Antonio was just here.”

“I already talked to Voight. What did he want?” Matt asks with a frustration expression.

“To talk to me,” she says honestly. “I think he thought maybe I could talk you into it? I don’t know because I certainly don’t have any intention of talking you into anything. But I do think I need to tell you what he told me. Because...what Nesbitt is a part of--it’s pretty bad, Matt. He has a hand in hurting a lot of people.”

“I’m afraid to ask,” Matt says watching her as she anxiously tucks her hair behind her ears.

“Trafficking girls,” she tells him. It’s hard to force out the words, but she manages it. “He works with a ring of guys who are smuggling in young women from eastern Europe. Antonio says they funnel them in to work at the club. Some of them are...forced into prostitution.”

Matt told her it would be a cold day in hell before he did Voight any favors and, judging by the look on his face, the temperature in hell must have just dropped about forty degrees.

“Damn it,” he mutters, rubbing a hand across his brow.

“CPD hasn’t been able to get close enough, but they’ve heard that Nesbitt trusts you and they really think you’re their best chance,” Sylvie finishes as she sits down across from him on his bunk. “I hate that I’m the one telling you this, by the way. Because at this point in our friendship, I know you. And I know exactly what’s going to happen next. For the record, I don’t like it.”

“You don’t want me to do it,” he says slowly as he focuses his pensive stare on hers.

“No, I don’t. I think you _can_ do it and I think you _will_ because you’re a good guy and you hate bullies, but it scares me. These guys Nesbitt’s in with...they’re dangerous. I don’t want you getting hurt _or worse_.”

They stare at each other for a tense moment while she waits to hear what he’s decided. Before he can give her an answer, the bells go off. Of course, it’s a call for Ambo.

“I’ve gotta go,” she tells him regretfully. “But let me know what you end up deciding.”

******

Sylvie’s call took up most of the remainder of their shift so he never got to finish their conversation. Connie found him after he changed out and said Boden wanted to see him. He heads toward the office and finds Severide inside, slumped in a chair.

Severide catches his eye and clicks his tongue in irritation. 

“Connie said you wanted to see me, Chief?”

“Yeah, come on in,” Boden orders. “Close the door.”

Casey bites back a sigh as he sits down next to Severide. 

Well, this should be fun. 

“Okay,” Boden says. “What is going on in my firehouse? Why did I hear that my Lieutenants were shouting at each other in the bunkroom earlier today? And what does this all have to do with Stella Kidd? Is there a problem with Kidd?”

“No,” Matt says hurriedly. “Kidd’s been an asset to Truck since she came on board. She’s a hell of a firefighter.”

“Then what was the yelling about?”

“It was a personal matter, Chief,” Severide says tiredly. “It shouldn’t have overflowed into the house. We’ll keep it out of public spaces from now on.”

“See that you do,” Boden declares. “And if it’s anything serious that I need to be informed of, I trust you’ll bring me in on it?”

They both nod but Matt speaks.

“Absolutely, Chief. We’ll loop you in if it reaches that point,” Matt promises. 

“Alright, you are dismissed,” Boden tells them as he nods toward the door. “See you next shift.”

Severide catches up with Matt as they leave the bullpen. 

“Are you and Brett gonna talk to Stella about this Grant situation or what? She only seems to listen to the two of you,” Severide asks as he follows him down the hall.

“From what I hear Brett already tried to talk to her and now Kidd’s giving her the silent treatment,” Matt says as he checks his phone while he walks. He’s got missed calls from Voight and Antonio. He should probably give them a call. 

Sylvie was right. It’s a given that he’ll help them now that he knows what’s going on.

“Yeah, that’s cause the two of you let her talk you into letting this asshole slide.”

Matt swallows down an annoyed groan. “I get that you like Stella a whole hell of a lot, but what goes on between her and Grant is technically none of our business. She asked me to trust her to handle it and I do. You should too. Listen, I’d love to talk about this more, but right now I’ve gotta go deal with Jack Nesbitt.”

Severide scoffs and stops walking. Matt follows suit and turns to face him.

“Your side business is more important than this?” He asks.

Considering there are women in Chicago at this very moment being forced into what essential boils down to slavery (Not that Severide knows that)...

“Actually, yeah...it is.”

He hates to do it but he has somewhere to be and it’s not at Firehouse 51. He turns his back on Severide and walks away. While he walks he texts Sylvie.

_“Going to see Antonio and an old friend (sarcasm). Can I come over to finish our conversation later?”_

Her reply comes in quicker than he expected: _“You’d better.”_

The meeting with Antonio and Voight doesn’t take long. He agrees to help, answers a few questions, and then is told the first step to going undercover is to get his job back. He’s pretty certain he knows a surefire way to do that. Lucky for them, Jack reached out and asked for another shot just that morning.

He goes to see Sylvie first, just as he told her he would. When he arrives he finds her already working on her kitchen cabinets again. In old cut offs and another large t-shirt with her hair piled in a messy knot on the top of her head. She’s got a bit of dust on her cheek from buffing that first coat they painted over 24 hours ago.

“Need some help while I’m here?” He asks as she lets him inside.

“Do you mind?” She asks.

“Wouldn’t have offered if I did,” Matt assures her. 

She hands him her extra sanding sponge, he takes off his jacket, and then they both get to work.

“So,” she begins. “Are you doing it?”

He nods. “I am. I gotta go back to the club tonight and get my job back and then I guess we go from there.”

“Be careful,” she urges him. 

“Trust me, I don’t want to be taken out by an eastern European organized crime ring,” Matt replies. “I’ll be careful. Is Kidd back from her lawyer’s yet?”

“She texted me just before you got here,” Sylvie answers. “She’s on her way home now. Everything’s official and final, she says.”

“Is she still mad at you?”

“I think maybe a little? But she’s talking to me again,” Sylvie says with a weak smile. “I’ll take whatever victory I can get. I’m gonna see if she’ll let me take her out for drinks tonight to celebrate her freedom. I’m hoping we can clear the air while we’re out. Have you talked to Severide?”

“Briefly,” Matt says with a huff. “He’s still pissed.”

“That guy _really_ has a thing for Stella, huh?” Sylvie asks with a small grin. 

Matt snorts dryly before he replies. “That’s an understatement. The funniest part to me is that he’s obviously crazy about her but I don’t think he really _wants_ to be. Not even in a ‘I shoudln’t be feeling this’ way. I mean in a ‘let me ignore this until it blows up in my face’ kind of way.”

“Should we take bets on when it blows up in his face?” Sylvie asks teasingly. “I bet you all the cash in my wallet against all the cash in your wallet that he won’t last one more month without making some sort of move.”

“Month? I say two weeks _tops_ ,” Matt counters. “Whoever’s right wins the bet?”

“You’re on,” Sylvie says as she holds out her hand for a shake.

******

It was easy enough to get back in with Jack. He was eager to welcome him back in. Matt took his job back and then hung around for appearances sake. He spoke to Katya again and this time the red flags he’d noticed last time they talked made sense. He had no doubt Katya was a victim of all of this somehow. He wanted to help her. 

Hopefully, exposing Jack Nesbitt would be just the thing she needed.

Afterward, he headed over the Molly’s and found Brett and Kidd and Shay huddled around a table in the back, each holding a glass. He waved but didn’t join them, deciding to let Stella have her girls only night of celebration.

He sat at the bar next to Cruz and spent the night essentially talking pointless shit with him and Herrmann. It was an easygoing casual night and he hadn’t had one of those in too long.

When he gets home, he catches Severide just ending a call with Erin. Matt knows he heard Grant’s name and a description of the incident with Stella. Matt stares at him in disbelief as he throws his keys down on the countertop.

“Are you out of your mind? Kidd didn’t want the police involved.”

“They’re not involved. Erin is,” Severide replied with a shrug. “She’s just gonna keep an eye on him in case he comes near Stella again. That’s all.”

“Right, that’s all,” Matt says with a shake of his head. “You have really got to ease off of Kidd and Brett about this. You’re acting like a jealous jackass.”

“No, I’m acting like someone who’s concerned for a friend. The question is why are you and Brett not doing a damn thing? Are you too wrapped in each other to care about anyone else or are you really that cold?”

“You really want to go there? Because I don’t see a concerned friend,” Matt tells him. “I see an overprotective tool who’s trying to control a situation that doesn’t involve him. Back off and give Kidd some space to decide what _she_ wants to do. It’s her life. Not yours.”

“And if something happens to her and we did nothing, what then?” Severide yells. “I’m not gonna stand around and wait for this douchebag to hurt her again. But you know, whatever, man. Go make puppy dog eyes at a woman who barely knows you exist. That’s a much better use of your time.”

Severide stalks off and Matt hears his bedroom door slam a few seconds later.

Matt rubs his temples in an attempt to soothe the stress and then texts Sylvie.

_“I hope things with you and Stella are better than things with me and Sev.”_

_“He’s still mad?”_

_“I think it’s less mad and more worried out of his mind. But yeah, he’s still just as worked up as he was yesterday.”_

_“I’m sorry, Matt. Maybe he just needs to work it out on his own?”_

_“Maybe.”_

The next day Matt goes back to Stilettos and puts the finishing touches on the room. It’s not completely finished but it looks damn good. He stashes his tools in the far corner at the end of the day. The next time he works in this room will be the last and then he can take all of his tools back home with him. If not for this undercover gig, he’d been one long day away from being done with Jack Nesbitt forever.

The next shift is frosty. Severide’s still pissed at all of them. Stella let Shay in on what happened with Grant. She tried to talk to him too but he didn’t seem interested in anything she had to say either.

They get a call with a car fire. Everything seems to be routine, at first. They get the cars and the civilians out of the way and Truck helps Ambo with the victim while Squad deals with the truck. Before Capp can stabilize the wheels the truck explodes and starts rolling down the street. 

Toward Casey, Shay, Kidd, and Brett as they try and get the victim on the gurney. At nearly the last second, Severide grabs an extinguisher and dives under the truck, blocking the front wheel. Boden jumps in after him, pulling him away from the truck as soon as it’s stopped.

Shay slaps Severide on the back as he passes them. “Good looking out.”

Sylvie nods her agreement and smiles gratefully at him. “Yeah, I appreciate not being roadkill.”

He ignores them and walks away. Still as frosty as ever.

After shift, Matt walks Sylvie out to her car. Nesbitt had invited him to an event at the club that night and Voight wanted to use it as their first opportunity to try and get some intel. He hadn’t told Brett about it yet.

“So, um, tonight is when this undercover sting really starts,” Matt says quietly. “I’m supposed to head over to the district this afternoon to talk to them about how it’s all gonna work.”

She releases a conflicted breath and shakes her head. “I wish Antonio had never talked to me about this. If he hadn’t then I wouldn’t have had to talk to you and then you wouldn’t be…”

“Hey,” he says as he steps into her space and deliberately catches her worried stare. “I told you I’d be careful and I meant it. Besides, I know one of the girls that works there and she’s scared. I can see that now. I’m glad I know. I can help her now that I know. I _want_ to help her.”

Sylvie bites her bottom lip nervously but nods. “Okay, as long as this is what you want to do.”

“I’m going to an event at the club tonight. Would it make you feel better if I texted you after, just to let you know I’m okay?” He asks with a small knowing smile.

“Not to sound like an overbearing worry wart, but yes,” she answers in a relieved rush. “I didn’t want to ask but if you’re offering, _please_ text me when you’re done or else I’ll sit up and worry all night.” She pauses and then smirks at him. “Besides, you have to come over tomorrow and help me reassemble my kitchen. The doors and drawer faces have to go back on, along with all the hardware. We’ve worked on it together this far and you can’t bail on me now.”

He chuckles and nods decisively. “You got it. I’ll be there. Promise.”

******

Sylvie is sitting on her couch the night after shift, leg nervously bouncing up and down, obsessively staring at her phone. It’s getting later and later and she still hasn’t heard from Matt.

She doesn’t like worrying over him.

It makes her wonder what she’d do if anything happened to him. He’s become a very important piece of her life in a very short amount of time. 

It’s nearing two in the morning when her phone finally pings.

_“I’m home. Safe. I’ll catch you up tomorrow. I’m exhausted.”_

She slumps against her couch in relief.

_“Good. Thank you for letting me know. Now I can sleep too.”_

_“Were you waiting up to hear from me?”_

_“...maybe.”_

_“Everything’s fine, Sylvie. Go to bed. I’ll see you in the morning. I’ll even bring coffee and donuts since I kept you up so late.”_

_“You’re the best, Matt Casey.”_

She grins at her messages, catches herself releasing a dreamy sigh, and then freezes. Wait. 

A _what_? Dreamy?! Since when does Matt make her... _dreamy?_

Although, he _is_ pretty dreamy with those blue eyes and sturdy shoulders. Not to mention, he sometimes grows out a bit of stubble and, damn, does that look ever work for him.

Oh god, what the fuck is she doing? This is _Matt_ she’s thinking about. He’s _off limits_. He’s clearly not ready to date again or else he’d be seeing someone already wouldn’t he? He’s much too attractive, inside and out, to be single for long if he _wanted_ to date.

No. _No_. She is going to stop this right now before she goes any further down that road. She’s just freaking out because of this undercover assignment. This is panic. Complete and total panic. Nothing else.


	50. Not Let You Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things blow up. Almost literally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** So, I was holding off on posting more until I hit a certain writing goal. I JUST hit it tonight so now you guys get the next chapter! I hope you like it!
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“It's so excruciating to see you low,_

_Just wanna lift you up and not let you go._

_This ultraviolet morning light below,_

_Tells me this love is worth the fight, oh.”_

_-“Afterglow” by Taylor Swift_

******

“So, they knew exactly where to look for the bug?” Sylvie asks. Her voice sounds as panicked as she feels.

Maybe she _doesn’t_ want Matt telling her these things. 

“I flushed it before I walked in the room. It felt off. All of it,” Matt tells her as they work on attaching the new hardware to her doors and drawer faces. 

“I don’t like any of this,” Sylvie confesses as her forehead wrinkles. “I know you’re doing this for the right reasons, but this is too much, Matt. You’re in there all alone and if your cover is blown—“

“I’m not alone,” he assures her quickly. “Antonio and Voight are always right outside.”

“Yes, they are but that’s still too far away! If something were to go wrong—“ she cuts herself off at his sympathetic glance. Behind the sympathy is determination. He’s not changing his mind. “I know none of what I’m saying will talk you out of it so I’ll stop. Just _be careful_ , please.”

“I’m always careful,” he assures her. “I promise.”

“You’d better be,” she mutters. “And I mean _my_ definition of careful, not yours, _Lieutenant_ Casey.”

He chuckles at that and gives her a bewildered glance as he finishes the last handle on the last cabinet door. “How is my definition different from yours?”

“Well, for one, I’m not an adrenaline junkie smoke eater,” she tells him with a look that’s full of fond exasperation. “And for another, saving people is ingrained in you and you sometimes prioritize that over your own safety. You know that’s true.”

He doesn’t disagree which means she’s right. “I told you before,” he says after a thoughtful pause. “I don’t want to be the victim of eastern European organized crime. I’m gonna do all I can to avoid that. Did you label these cabinet doors so we know which one goes where?”

She sighs and shakes her head. “Don’t think I didn’t notice that dodge, Mister. And yes, I did. In pencil on the inside upper corner.”

“Good,” he says. “Let’s get these put back on and everything back in its proper place. It’s gonna look great when we’re done. You know what you’re doing with a sanding sponge, Sylvie Brett. Maybe I’ll hire you for my crew on my next job.”

She laughs quietly at him. “Sure,” she agrees sarcastically. “But indoor renovations only, please. I grew up on a farm and I’ve had enough outdoor chores to last me a lifetime. Especially with my complexion.”

Matt tosses her a mirthful smirk but nods. “Deal.”

******

Matt has been so focused on Nesbitt and keeping himself distracted from Nesbitt (with Sylvie) over the last 48 hours that he hasn’t seen much of Severide in between shifts. He seeks him out once he arrives at the firehouse that morning and finds him in the bathroom, getting ready for the start of shift. 

Matt leans against the entryway from the locker room to the bathroom as Kelly turns off the sink.

“You cooled off about Kidd, yet?”

“She change her mind about going to the police?” He asks, curtly.

“No.”

“Then no,” Severide replies with a stern expression.

“Call me crazy, but it doesn’t seem like being pissed at all of us has worked out well for you so far, has it?”

“Why am I the only person who’s actually looking out for her?” He snaps.

Matt scoffs. “Because you’re the only person trying to _control_ the situation and make Kidd do what you want her to do. People don’t work like that. Relationships don’t work like that. Sometimes people you care about make decisions you don’t agree with and you either deal with it and try to be there for them or...you can get pissed and pout like a toddler because you didn’t get your way--”

“Don’t make it sound like I’m throwing a temper tantrum--”

Matt shakes his head and rolls his eyes. “You kind of are. You ever stop to think that if you just let her do this her way she might eventually see your point? She’s as stubborn as you are and if you dig your heels in then so will--”

“Casey! Drop it!” Severide yells.

His eyes narrow into a glare and he’s about to tell his friend just what he thinks of his attitude when the bells go off. He turns and walks away from Kelly as they’re called to a gas leak.

This is where Matt’s experience with Gabby comes in handy. He loved Gabby but she was stubborn as hell and he learned early on that if he pushed she’d resist harder simply on principle. But he can’t tell Severide something he doesn’t want to hear. All he’s doing is getting Kelly even more upset. 

Severide’s temper carries over into the call. The levels are too high to go inside, but the minute Kelly finds out there’s an elderly woman inside he defies any and all semblance of common sense and procedure. He and Welch barrel in so Matt has no choice but to send in Otis to find the shut off valve in the basement.

Chief arrives and it’s clear that he’s not happy with the decisions made so far. Chief goes around back to talk to Capp about the gas levels and then orders Otis and Severide to evacuate. Immediately after the order Otis comes over the radio and announces the gas has been shut off. Once that’s done, Matt instructs Truck to start venting as quickly as possible. This house is a moment away from going up.

It flashes a second after Severide exits with the woman. They get her to Shay and Brett who check her over and, while they’re loading up the ambo, Boden finally addresses both Truck and Squad at once.

“Well?” He asks angrily. “What was that?”

No one answers. The two crews are glaring at each other for answers. Severide’s pissed from their argument earlier and Matt’s…

Well, he’s pissed that Kelly is angry at anyone. He’s being a stubborn ass. 

“Truck and Squad, right? You just do whatever the hell you want now?” Boden continues, sounding as angry at them as they are at each other.

Severide turns his anger toward Matt. “You could’ve killed us by venting in there, you know that?”

“Otis shutting off the gas and us venting is the only reason _this whole house_ didn’t explode,” Matt tells him in a raised voice. 

He’ll take a lot of things from Kelly but he will _not_ insult his Truck crew. They’re well trained and they know what they’re doing. Everything Matt did was to counteract an impulsive decision that _Severide_ made. He will not let his guys take the blame.

“Otis is the elevator guy! What the hell was he doing in the house at all?” Severide yells.

“Stop!” Boden scolds. “Pack up the gear. Get back to quarters right now.”

Matt glares at Severide and shakes his head. That was a cheap shot at Otis. The guy isn’t even involved in what’s happening with Kidd. Severide’s eyes flash with guilt but not enough to pull an apology out of him, it seems.

Both crews pack up and all three rigs make their way back to the house. Except Squad. They stop for gas instead. Casey doubts they actually needed it and that Severide is just trying to avoid the house. His crew goes inside.

Brett pulls Kidd and Shay toward the bunkroom. No doubt to make sure she’s okay with what just happened at the scene. To his eyes, Stella looks tense and upset. More embarrassed and angry than anything else.

Boden retreats to his office. Matt wants to follow him and apologize for what happened on the call but his phone rings before he gets the chance.

It’s Voight and Antonio. They’re on their way over to talk to Boden about the case. It’s been decided that Matt needs next shift off to work his way further in with Nesbitt. They want something concrete on Nesbitt and his business partners quickly before the ring gets any more suspicious and leaves town. Once they show up, Matt finds Connie and lets her know he needs to talk to Boden about something important.

Boden meets them all outside and Voight and Antonio brief Boden on what’s been going on. Boden isn’t happy about it, but they manage to convince him. Boden gives him the next shift off and the all clear to work on the case in whatever capacity they need.

The rest of shift is awkwardly quiet. Severide is stewing in anger and guilt. Matt is getting increasingly anxious about being undercover. Kidd, Brett, and Shay pretty much keep to themselves and out of the way.

The girls change out and Shay and Kidd leave first. Brett disappears somewhere. Matt hasn’t seen her much since the gas leak call. He and Kelly walk out at the same time, neither saying a word.

“So, you still think I’m the bad guy here?” Kelly asks him as they start to part ways.

Matt resists the urge to groan in frustration. He was this close to getting out of here without another argument. “I don’t have time for this right now,” he says, knowing he sounds obviously aggravated.

“Yeah, make time!” Severide yells.

Casey turns back around to face his roommate with an irate glare. Not to minimize the problem Kidd’s facing but Matt has literal life and death issues to worry about right now. This is the last thing he needs.

“This guy is unstable, Casey,” Kelly says with a huff. “And Stella’s too damn close to him to see it. She needs a push to see what’s actually going on and I’d rather that push be _me_ than her ex. _I’m_ not going to hurt her. _He_ already has!”

“Yeah, you are! Severide, you already _are_ hurting her!” Matt yells. “And Brett and Shay. And everyone else in the damn Firehouse! If you’d try talking _to_ Kidd instead of _at_ her you might get that. But all you’re thinking about is _your_ worry, _your_ fear. Jesus, you don’t think Kidd understands how fucked up this whole situation is? I can assure you _she does_.”

“So, I’m being selfish because I’m worried about Kidd?”

“Have you ever stopped to listen to a damn thing she has to say? No, you haven’t. So, hell yes you’re being selfish. You’re being an _asshole_.”

“I don’t need to listen to her because the guy is _certifiable_ and _dangerous_. She doesn’t know what she’s doing by letting him just wander around, free as a bird.”

“And you know best is that it?”

“Yeah,” he declares as he crosses his arms over his chest. “I do.”

Matt snorts derisively at him. “Well, there it is,” he says bitterly. “The Gospel according to Severide.”

“You know what? Honestly?” Severide says with a scoff and a shake of his head. “Go screw yourself. I’m sick of it. Who’s the guy who held you back when you wanted to rip Pridgen’s head off after what he did to Brett? Yeah, that’s right. _Me_. So don’t act like you wouldn’t be doing the exact same thing if it was Brett instead of Kidd. Take your sanctimonious prick act and get out of my face.”

So, that’s how it is. 

Fan-fucking-tastic.

He clenches his fists and turns away from Severide, setting off for his truck. He hears light rushed footsteps behind him.

“Matt.”

He looks over his shoulder to find Sylvie following him. 

“How much of that did you hear?” He asks her, worried Severide may have accidentally outed his feelings during a fight.

“Just the part about you being a sanctimonious prick,” she tells him with an apologetic wince. “Look, I know it’s hard but don’t let him get to you. He’s got a lot of his own stuff to work through and you’ve got _other things_ that need your focus.”

“Yeah,” he replies with a nervous exhale. “I’m off next shift to deal with those _other_ things. Hopefully, for once and for all.”

Sylvie grabs his arm and pulls him to a stop. “Wait, seriously? Are they sure that’s a good idea? I mean after what happened last time--”

“It’ll be fine, Sylvie,” he assures her. He’s not actually positive about that himself, but he’d rather not worry her. “Voight and Antonio have a plan. We’ve got it under control.”

She runs an anxious hand through her hair but nods, seemingly accepting his placating words. “If you say so.”

“I say so,” he insists. 

He wishes he were truly as confident as he’s pretending to be, but he’s not. He’s in over his head and flying by the seat of his pants. Neither metaphor is particularly encouraging. So, he’s going with a classic saying that’s yet to fail him instead.

Fake it till you make it.

That’s the only way he’s going to get through this.


	51. If Ever I Lost You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The point at which everything boils over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** Currently I’ve written through chapter 60 (4x03) so since my lead us so huge right now you guys get another chapter! Yay! 
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“I had a dream last night,_

_That you weren't in my life._

_It felt so real, that I,_

_Woke up reaching' for you, baby._

_What would I do, if ever I lost you?”_

_-“Just A Dream” by Jimmy Wayne_

******

Matt all but disappears for the next 48 hours. He makes nightly appearances at Molly’s but Sylvie doesn’t hear anything more than a couple of texts apart from that. He texts her at the end of each day to let her know he’s okay. Otherwise she assumes he’s with Voight and Antonio working on a strategy for taking down Nesbitt.

She worries about him every time she steps into her kitchen and sees the work they did on her cabinets.

But there’s other things going on that Sylvie feels like she should take care of so that Matt doesn’t have to worry about them when the undercover work is done.

Like the tension between Stella and Severide.

Sylvie tries her best but Severide is still giving her and Shay and Kidd the silent treatment. It actually somehow gets worse because Erin Lindsay from the Intelligence unit stopped by the apartment to ask Stella a few questions. She and Stella both knew what that meant.

Severide called her.

So, now Stella’s even more determined to help Grant. She’s calling around to different organizations and compiling a list of programs that will take Grant. Once that’s done her plan is to call him and stage a one woman intervention.

Sylvie feels like that’s an _awful_ idea but, thanks to Severide’s insistence that Stella doesn't know what she’s doing, her friend is more determined than _ever_. Sylvie tries to suggest getting the list of programs to him without meeting him or letting someone from the house go with her. Cruz will happily do it, Sylvie is certain. Plus, he looks imposing enough to intimidate Grant and he’s less abrasive than Severide. But that’s a no-go.

Stella wants to handle this on her own.

And _Sylvie_ wants to strangle Severide. Whether he realizes it or not, he’s inadvertently the cause of all of this. All he had to do was give Stella his thoughts and then step back and let her decide for herself. If he’d done that then maybe she’d be asking for their help and not trying to take on Grant’s problems by herself. 

Which is the thing Sylvie was afraid she’d do from the very beginning. That’s _why_ she tried to step back and let Stella come to her own decision. Stella is brilliant and strong but she’s also extremely passionate and hardheaded. She wants to call her own shots, and Sylvie can’t blame her for that.

Her 48 hours off passes too quickly and before she knows it she’s walking back into 51 again. The first thing they find out is that Welch got his bugle back _and_ got his old command back at 105. Boden went to bat for him when the position opened up. All of 51 agreed that Welch grew and became a better firefighter while he was with them. It was a deserved promotion.

But that means there’s a spot to fill on Squad and, to everyone’s surprise, it’s Joe Cruz who fills it. There’s a round of congratulations at the morning briefing from everyone but Otis, who looks stunned and more than a little hurt. It seems Cruz kept all this extra work from him too.

Boden declares himself acting Lieutenant for today’s shift due to Casey’s absence.

As the morning brief is wrapping up, Connie appears at the door looking for Stella.

“You have a visitor on the app floor,” she tells her. “He says he’s your husband.”

Stella’s brow furrows but she still clarifies as she starts to follow Connie. “Ex-husband.”

“I’m not sure _he_ knows that,” Connie comments dryly.

Sylvie exchanges worried glances with Shay and Severide and the three of them tag along. Whether she wants it or not, Stella’s got back up.

When Stella reaches Grant he starts screaming and yelling, but he’s not angry. He looks sorrowful and hopeless -- lost. Sylvie doesn’t even know him and her heart goes out to him. She can’t imagine what Stella must be feeling. He very loudly pleads for her to come home to him. He tells her how he can’t live without her, that if she comes back he’ll stay sober _for her_ , but then his ranting takes a turn. Sadness turns to anger in the blink of an eye. 

Stella glances around, helplessly, as she tries to lead him out of the firehouse without touching him. As if she doesn’t know what she’ll set off if she touches him. Severide stands next to Sylvie and every muscle in his body is clenched, but to his credit he stands back and lets Kidd handle it on her own. Grant lunges to grab her arms and Stella takes a well timed step backward.

“No, Grant,” she says firmly. “You have to go. I cannot be married to you anymore. I have tried to help you every way I know how and nothing works--”

“Come back and I’ll go--I’ll go to rehab. I’ll go as long as I have you to come back to.”

“No! It won’t help that way! You have to do this for _you_ , Grant. Not for _me_ ,” Stella tells him, sounding as if she’s desperate for him to understand. “You need to leave. This is my place of work and I’m sorry but you can’t stay. Please go,” she asks, with a calm Sylvie’s positive she doesn’t feel. “Don’t make me call the police.”

“Fine!” Grant screams, crowding into Stella’s space. “If that’s how you want it, then that’s how it’s going to be. Screw you, you bitch. I was there for you when no one else was and this is how you repay me?”

“Oh, hell, no,” Shay says in a low, growly, voice before she storms over to the couple. She shoves her way between Grant and Stella and stands there with her feet planted firmly. “Get the fuck out of our firehouse. _Now_.”

“Shay, I got this,” Stella tells her.

“Yeah, babe, I know you do,” Shay agrees. “But I’m your friend and I’m not standing by to let you deal with this alone. Sorry, that’s just how this friendship thing works.”

Shay’s interference gives Severide and Brett unspoken permission to act as well. Kelly stands behind Kidd with his arms crossed over his chest and Sylvie joins Shay, putting her arm around her partner’s shoulders. Together they form a protective circle around Kidd.

“Get out and get help, Grant,” Sylvie says firmly but with as much compassion as she can manage. “It’s not up to Stella to help you anymore. She’s done everything she can for you. Take responsibility for your own addiction and _go_.”

Under the pressure of their watchful stares, he backs off and walks away but none of them move from their spot until he’s out of sight.

They turn to face Stella, expecting her to be furious with them, but before she can speak the bells ring out. Multiple Truck companies and ambos are being called to a warehouse fire. They’ll have to finish resolving this later.

They all load up and ride out. Otis drives 81 for the first time and Cruz joins Squad. A warehouse fire requiring that many vehicles is gonna be a big first call for Cruz in his new role on Squad.

Sylvie and Shay stay with ambo and anxiously watch the scene unfold. There are two firefighters and two civilians trapped inside. Squad goes in the front to locate the firefighters and Truck goes around the back to find a secondary entrance. She and Leslie listen in over their radios. 

Truck finds an open window in the back of the building but it’s small so they send Stella inside to retrieve a civilian. They have her on the rope but the room heats up too fast and she can’t get back to the window. She goes deeper into the building but sends a civilian out. Cruz and Squad come back out with both firefighters. Sylvie and Shay get to work on them. They’re lucky. After a quick assessment all they need is a lot of clean oxygen. They’ll need to be taken to Med for breathing treatments but that’s not urgent and 61 can stay on the scene in case the civilians are retrieved.

Severide hasn’t come back out yet, but the rest of Squad is accounted for.

Shay curses from her spot next to Brett and huffs.

“He went back for the last civilian. I know he did. Idiot. Fucking brave idiot,” Shay says with a pinched expression.

The next thing that comes over the radio is Kidd telling them her tank is empty and she’s out of air. Depending on where she is in the building, not having any air could prevent her from safely escaping. From their vantage point at the edge of the scene, they watch Boden address Truck and Squad and then a moment later he grabs two oxygen tanks and sprints into the building. All of 51 is left staring after him in shock.

The scene outside the fire becomes increasingly more dramatic the longer they wait. 

The Chief that remains on scene, who Brett doesn’t know, wants to redirect the water and knock the fire down. At this point, Brett’s seen enough fires to know what that means. The reaction from Joe is immediate. He gets in the Chief’s face and tells him he’ll give up his badge and his pension before he’ll let the water be redirected. It’s a very emotional plea but this particular Chief isn’t persuaded. He makes the call anyway and Joe nearly threatens him with physical violence. Capp and Tony have to hold him back. 

Shay gives Sylvie a concerned glance, her eyes watering. 

Boden, Severide, and Kidd are still inside. 

51 is still reeling from losing Gabby Dawson. They can’t take _this_ too.

This house is _family_ and three of their own are still inside.

There’s a long tense moment where everyone begins to believe all hope is lost, but then movement is spotted beyond the flames at the front door. Sylvie grabs Shay’s hand and they both hold their breath.

Suddenly, three figures emerge from the doorway.

Boden, Kidd, and Severide.

One desperate shaky sob escapes Shay before she ambushes Severide and helps him remove his helmet and mask. Sylvie goes to Chief, first, and then Kidd. They’re all fine by some miracle. Kidd and Severide will be going to Med with the other two firefighters for treatment but there doesn’t appear to be any serious damage.

Sylvie grabs Stella and hugs her as tight as she can.

“You are never gonna scare me like that again. Okay, roomie?”

Kidd lets out a breathy laugh and embraces her just as tightly in return. “Okay. Deal.”

They drop them off at Med. Severide surprises her, though, by beckoning her into his exam room.

He looks sheepish and embarrassed. “Brett. I, um, I’m sorry. I’ve been a real jackass to you. And to Casey too. I was out of line and, you know, the two of you may have had a point. I should have backed off and let her handle it. She handled him pretty well at the Firehouse today. I should’ve known she would.” He grins slightly, looking fond and far away. “She’s got a steel rod for a backbone. I’ve always thought that. If I would have simply backed her up then, I don’t know, maybe this all could have been resolved sooner, you know?”

“Thank you for the apology,” Brett says, squeezing his shoulder. “But I get it. You care about her and that means you worry. I’ve been there.” She is there right now, actually. With Matt. “You want to do everything you can to keep them safe, but sometimes the best thing you can do is offer support. That’s what Stella needs from us, right now.”

“I see that now,” he tells her. “It might take me a minute to adjust to it and I still owe both Stella, Casey, and Shay apologies but I do understand.”

“You were a little right too, though,” Sylvie admits. “Stella can’t just sit back and do nothing. He’s dangerous, to himself and to her. We do need to make sure she knows it. Just...maybe not so aggressively?”

Severide nods, guilt taking over his face. “Yeah, that’s a good point. My way didn’t make me much better than Grant, did it?”

“You had better intentions,” Sylvie concedes. “But, yeah, it wasn’t a good look for you.”

“I appreciate the honesty,” Severide says with a light laugh.

“Hey, I adore both you and Stella and because of that you’ll get the truth and nothing but the truth from me,” Sylvie promises with a shrug. “Even when it’s hard. That’s what friends do.”

When they all get back to the house, Chief Tiberg is waiting on them. It’s been reported to him that one of 51’s firefighters threatened violence against a Chief and he demands to know who. In the true spirit of 51 and _Spartacus_ , each member of the house comes forward to claim responsibility -- starting with Otis. It frustrates Tiberg to no end.

“What is this?” Tiberg asks. “You don’t think I can find out who it was?”

“Yeah, I do,” Boden answers, stepping forward. “But I gotta ask, why the hell would you want to?”

Tiberg curses their house under his breath as he leaves, and then they all head inside to celebrate surviving. Today was a close call. Too close for Sylvie’s liking, but they’re all here and they’re all together.

Well, sans Matt, but he’ll be back next shift.

Everything is still right at Firehouse 51.

“So,” Shay asks her as the two of them observe the room. “Who do you think is gonna hook up tonight?”

“What?” Sylvie asks in surprise as she breaks her gaze away from where Kelly’s obviously psyching himself up to talk to Stella.

“After a call like that, it’s gonna happen. I’ve been around long enough to spot the signs,” Shay says confidently. “It’s just a question of _who_.” She nudges Sylvie’s shoulder playfully and winks at her. “Maybe a bonus night for you and a certain Lieutenant?”

Sylvie blushes bright red and focuses a silencing glare on her. “Shush! We’re not talking about that in the common room!”

Leslie’s eyebrows fly upward and a huge grin spreads across her face. “Oh my god, that wasn’t a no! Have you thought about it? You have! Haven’t you?”

“Shut up,” Sylvie hisses while she wonders how the _hell_ Shay managed to read that from her expression. “No! Matt and I are just friends.”

“Hey!” Herrmann announces. “As much as it pains me, everybody gets one free drink at Molly’s today!”

The entire common room starts cheering, distracting Shay from their conversation. (Thankfully.) Sylvie notices Severide use the distraction as an opportunity to pull Stella aside. They retreat into the briefing room together. Hopefully so Severide can deliver that apology he told Sylvie about. 

It’s a relief to think the house may be getting back to normal. 

She can’t wait to tell Matt.

******

Molly’s is packed tonight. Nearly everyone is there from 51, plus some friends from CPD. Everyone but _Matt_. She still hasn’t heard from him and she’s texted him a couple of times since shift ended.

She’s gotten no reply. It could just be that he’s caught up in undercover work but something isn’t quite sitting right with her. Severide is busy chatting pleasantly with Stella and, given all the tension that’s been between those two lately, she doesn’t want to interrupt.

Instead she seeks out Shay. She finds her in the back corner of the bar, chatting with a guy Sylvie’s never seen before. He’s cute. Blonde, good build. 

Kinda reminds her of Matt.

If she squints.

Oh, who’s she kidding?

Matt’s much better looking than him.

Not that she compares other guys to Matt or measures them by his standard. Why would she do that? It’s not like she has feelings for him or anything.

Does she?

_No. Stop that!_

Focus!

“Shay!” She calls as she approaches.

“Hey, partner!” Leslie replies. “Have you met Sean Roman? He’s a cop at the 21st.”

Sylvie smiles pleasantly at Sean and waves. “Hi! Nice to meet you! I hate to butt in, but I need to talk to her a second. Do you mind?”

“No. Go right ahead. I need another drink anyway,” Roman says before he walks off toward the bar.

“Brett!” Shay scolds. “I was teeing that up for you! He’s cute! And single! I mean I’m not into dudes but if I were—“

“Have you heard from Matt?” She asks, cutting Leslie off. Maybe that’s rude but she hardly cares. She’s not interested in that Roman guy anyway.

“No, I haven’t. Neither has Sev. We both left him voicemails telling him to get his ass down here immediately,” Shay answers. She doesn’t seem at all surprised by Sylvie’s question or her abruptness. “Why? Are you getting impatient for your bonus night?”

Sylvie halfheartedly scowls at Leslie. “I’m not having a bonus night with Matt.”

He’s too important to throw that all away on a bonus night. 

“Do you think he’s at home?” Sylvie asks her.

“It’s late,” Shay says, checking her watch. “So, I would hope so. But that Nesbitt jagoff’s been keeping him out late recently so who knows.”

“Okay, thanks,” Sylvie says as she turns and heads for the door.

“Hey! Where do you think you’re going?” Shay calls after her.

To check on Matt. That’s where she’s going.

There’s a knot of worry in her gut that will only be undone by visual confirmation that he’s okay. She has to see him. _Now_. Maybe that’s over the top but she can’t help it. 

She arrives at the apartment door and knocks. When she knocks, the door creaks open a few inches. It wasn’t closed all the way. That certainly doesn’t help the way her heart is nearly pounding out of her chest. She pushes it open and cautiously steps inside. She hears water in the kitchen and walks toward it, but there’s no one there. The sink is running and it looks like a meal was being prepared but no one is home. She rounds the counter, headed for the sink and nearly trips over a body.

She gasps in horror and automatically slips into paramedic mode. It’s a female. Blonde. Probably Sylvie’s age. Maybe one of the girls from the club? Matt said he’d gotten close to one in particular. 

She checks her pulse. It’s _weak_. She’s still warm too. This happened extremely recently. 

Oh, God. _Matt._ She starts one handed chest compressions and pulls her phone out of her jacket pocket. Fuck, there’s so much blood. This girl is fading fast. She has Antonio’s number from when he came to see her at the house. She dials him _first_. He needs to know Matt’s in trouble.

She tucks the phone between her shoulder and chin and does more forceful compressions. As Antonio answers she checks the woman’s pulse.

 _Nothing_.

“Brett?” Antonio asks. “Everything okay?”

“I’m at Matt’s and he’s not here but one of the girls from the club is.”

“What?”

“She’s _dead_ , Antonio. She’s been shot and there’s blood everywhere! Matt’s in trouble!”

“Okay, okay. Sit tight. We’ll ping his phone and find him. I’m sending paramedics and officers to you to block off the scene, alright, Sylvie? Don’t move!”

Antonio hangs up and Sylvie’s left with a hollow feeling in her chest. She backs away from the woman and props herself against the wall. 

He’ll be okay. He _has_ to be okay. 

She’s covered in someone else’s blood and doesn’t know where Matt is or what’s happened. It’s too much. Too overwhelming. Every emotion she has swirls around in her head along with the fear that she’s seen Matt alive for the very last time.

This _was not_ how the day was supposed to end.


	52. All Those Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sylvie is brought to the precinct to talk to Intelligence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** I hope I didn’t leave you hanging too long! ;) Things are gonna start moving a little faster now. Hopefully you guys are gonna enjoy it! 
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“I remember tears streaming down your face,_

_When I said, "I'll never let you go."_

_When all those shadows almost killed your light,_

_I remember you said, "Don't leave me here alone,"_

_But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight.”_

_-“Safe and Sound” by Taylor Swift ft. The Civil Wars_

******

Sylvie stays put at the apartment and waits for the officers Antonio sent to her. She doesn’t _want_ to do that. She wants to race over to Stilettos and see if that’s where Matt is, but common sense tells her there’s not much she could do if he is there and in trouble. She’s better off here, keeping the scene safe for the officers and waiting to give her statement. It takes fifteen minutes for the officers to arrive and they ask her for her statement as they secure the scene. That takes another twenty minutes, at least. After that she’s driven to the precinct to talk to Lindsay and Halstead. When she’s answered the same questions at least three different times they release her. She’s not sure how much time has passed but as she’s heading for the stairs Matt steps out of Voight’s office.

She gasps at the sight of him and feels a huge wave of relief wash over her. She’d been in the dark about him since she hung up with Antonio. She takes a moment to sweep an assessing stare over him. His right hand is bandaged and he has a split lip that’s been cleaned. They either took him to Med or he saw a paramedic on scene of wherever they found him. 

She, on the other hand, has not cleaned up. Her hands are still stained red with blood and she’s sure she has mascara all over her face. She was crying while she tried to revive the woman she found at the apartment. She hadn’t known it until the officers arrived and handed her a tissue.

Once she’s certain there’s no serious physical injuries, she jumps.

Right into his arms.

He catches her eagerly.

“Thank God,” she murmurs while she wraps her arms around him. “Jesus, I was so worried.”

“They told me you found Katya and called Antonio. Are you okay?” He asks, his voice hoarse with emotion, as he clutches her to him.

“Am _I_ okay?” She asks as she arches back to look at him in shock. “Am _I_ okay? Did you really just ask me that? You were the one in danger not me!”

If her hands weren’t covered in dried blood she’d use her hand to angle his face and get a better look at his split lip, but they are so she won’t. 

“I’m fine,” he assures her.

She scoffs. “Like hell you are.”

“There’s a patrol car downstairs ready to take you home, Sylvie.” Voiight tells her. “Matt, we've arranged for a hotel room for you tonight since we’re still processing the scene at your apartment. We’ve already spoken with your roommates and they’re on their way to the hotel as we speak.”

Matt tenses with her arms still around him and his reaction tells her all she needs to know. He does not want to go to a hotel tonight. She can’t blame him. Somewhere unfamiliar and isolated after what he’s been through probably isn’t the best idea.

She waits until they’ve released each other and start to walk away before she loops her arm through his and pats his arm softly. “Or you could come to mine and Stella’s,” she suggests. “I mean, if you’d prefer some company--”

“Yes,” he answers immediately. “I’d prefer some company.”

The officers take them both to her place and, as soon as they walk through the door, Sylvie sends Matt to the shower first. She goes to the kitchen sink and scrubs her arms up to her elbows and throws her top away. There’s no way to save it. Just as she’s gotten the last of the blood off of her and changed, Stella slowly enters the kitchen.

“Is Casey in our bathroom?”

Sylvie sniffles and nods as she dries her hands. “He’s staying here tonight.”

“I thought PD got the three of them hotel rooms?” She asks. “You know since their apartment is a crime scene.”

“They did, but Matt didn’t want to stay at a hotel and I can’t blame him.”

“I can’t either,” Stella admits before she steps into Sylvie’s space and wraps her up in a warm hug. “I heard you found the girl and tried to save her. Are you okay?”

She nods against Stella’s shoulder. “It was horrible and I wish I’d gotten there sooner, but I’m okay. I’m mostly...shaken up over Matt. I _really_ thought we might lose him tonight and there was _nothing_ I could do about it.”

“You did do something,” Stella reminds her. “If you hadn’t called Antonio who knows what would have happened. He’s _here_ because of you. Hold on to that thought, okay?”

When they pull back from their hug Stella smiles encouragingly at her. She wraps her hand around Sylvie’s and pulls her over to Stella’s purse as it hangs by the door. Sylvie watches her open it and pull out a single packet makeup wipe. 

“Wipe the mascara off and focus on being there for Casey, okay? You got this.”

Sylvie lets out a soggy chuckle and nods. “Right. Good call. I got this.”

Once she’s cleaned off her face, Sylvie goes into her room and retrieves a few things from the back of her dresser for Matt. Pete left a few things behind: sweatpants and an old hoodie from when he was on Truck. She leaves them at the bathroom door for Matt.

While she waits for her turn, she pours herself a glass of wine and then puts on some music. She chooses her favorite James Taylor record because it’s soothing and what she needs more than anything right now is to relax.

Matt comes back out in the clothes she left for him, with his right hand unbandaged. “I, uh, tried to bandage it myself but your gauze was being difficult.”

She grins at his sheepish expression and motions him over to the couch. Once they’re seated she takes the gauze from him. Before she wraps it, she examines it for herself. This type of injury didn’t come from just one punch. The skin over his knuckles is open and raw while the muscles underneath are swollen. This is from repeated punching.

She frowns as she gently takes his hand and wraps the dressing around his wound.

“You say you’re fine, Matt, but...are you really?” She asks him as she chews on the inside of her lip. “What happened?”

“Katya was apparently keeping a notebook on the entire trafficking ring and hid it somewhere in the club,” Matt says with a furrowed brow. “After they... _killed_ her, they thought I knew where it was and took me down to the club. I have no idea where it is but I knew if they knew that they’d kill me so I pretended I did until I could find the right moment.”

“The right moment to what?” Sylvie asks.

“Wrestle the gun away from the gunman and then knock out Jack. Or I tried to knock him out. He’s a fucking stubborn bastard and wouldn’t pass out,” Matt grits out through a tense jaw. His fingers tighten around hers as she finishes the wrapping. He doesn’t let go even after she tapes it down.

“I’m sorry,” Sylvie tells him as she brings her other hand to rest on top of his too. “About Katya. About Nesbitt. _All of it_.”

“I am too,” he says, closing his eyes for a moment. “But at least they got Nesbitt. He’s going down. That, at least, will make Katya’s death mean something.”

“And once they find her notebook I’d imagine they’ll use it to take even more lowlifes off the street,” she adds. “Your friend made a difference, Matt. No matter what.”

He nods and swallows thickly. “Yeah, she did.”

She watches as he sinks into the couch and closes his eyes again. The hand that’s not holding hers reaches up and rubs his temple. 

“Headache?” She asks. 

He nods and blows out a ragged breath. 

“I’ll get you something. I need to get you an ice pack for your hand anyway.”

His hand squeezes hers in a desperate group. “Don’t go. Not yet. I just...I want to sit right here with you for a few minutes.”

After everything that’s happened tonight, how can she refuse a request like that? She lets herself lean into him, with her shoulder and thigh pressed against his and her head on his shoulder. They sit like that for a long time while James Taylor plays softly in the background. It isn’t until the record stops that either of them realize _how long_ it’s been.

Sylvie rubs a hand up and down his arm before she speaks. “I really should get you that ice pack and some Tylenol. And then I need to hop in the shower.”

He nods, looking resigned and disappointed. “If you’ll tell me where the extra pillows and blankets are I can make up the couch while you’re--”

“The couch?” Sylvie asks him incredulously. “Matt, you’re not sleeping on the couch. You’re taking my bed.”

“No,” he protests. “I’m not. It’s your apartment, I’m not taking your bed from you.”

“But you wouldn’t be taking--”

“Sylvie,” he says firmly but with an edge of fondness. “You took our couch after your apartment was broken into, even after I offered you my bed. So, the way I see it, I’m simply returning the favor.”

She sighs and then retrieves a couple of blankets and a pillow. He takes them from her with a grateful and amused smile. “I’ll be fine,” he states.

“Well, I hope so because it’s not like you’d tell me if you weren’t,” Sylvie replies, narrowing her eyes on him.

He doesn’t deny it as she walks off toward the bathroom so they both know it’s true. 

When she comes back, freshly showered and changed into a pair of sleep shorts and a t-shirt, the couch is made up but Matt isn’t in the living room. She finds him in the kitchen, checking one of the drawers he’d fixed while they painted her cabinets.

“Paint still looks good,” he says as she walks into the room.

She nods. “It does.”

He refuses to look at her, but he doesn’t need to. She can tell he’s exhausted and, even though he only glances at her out of the corner of his eye, she can see the haunted expression on his face.

“We did a good job,” he says as he steps back to look at all the cabinets at once.

She smiles and elbows him gently. “Of course we did. We make a great team.”

At those words, he turns his head to look her in the eyes. “I’m _not_ fine,” he admits and follows it with a wan smirk. “See, I _did_ tell you.”

She steps into him, slips her arms under his and around his back, with her cheek pressed against his shoulder. There’s a lingering moment where he doesn’t move, but when he does she feels him wrap his arms around her in return. More than a little desperately. He breathes deeply, causing his chest to rise against hers and with her cheek to his shoulder it allows her to hear the steadying of his heartbeat. It slows to a normal rate as his chin comes to rest on the top of her head. His palms flatten against her back while his hands trace idle paths up and down. Her hands fist in the soft cotton of his sweatshirt and she allows herself to take him in.

He’s safe.

He’s here.

It’s over.

She tries her best to communicate that through the embrace even though she doesn’t think that’s possible. Still, she hopes he understands.

******

He would have gone crazy in that hotel room overnight. He’s glad Sylvie realized that. He wouldn’t have asked to stay with her if she hadn’t offered. He would have suffered through a one night hotel stay out of politeness.

But that wasn’t what he needed.

He needed a friend.

And Sylvie is the perfect person to be that friend.

The hug in the kitchen goes on for several minutes and it’s more calming than it should be. Anyone else holding him wouldn’t have had that great of influence on him. He knows that. He also knows she’s not on the same page he is, feelings wise, and he’d be smart to keep some distance between them, but after having a gun shoved in his face and watching a friend die he doesn’t have the will power for that tonight.

When they finally step out of the hug, she makes him promise to talk to Orlovsky sometime before their next shift.

“I would ask you to take the shift off completely, but I already know what your answer to that will be,” she says with a quirked brow and a tiny grin.

“Our new cand--”

“Candidate starts next shift. Yes, I know,” Sylvie tells him with an affectionate eyeroll. “You can’t miss his first day. Got it, _Lieutenant_ Casey.”

“Well, it’s true. I can’t. But I will call Orlovsky tomorrow. I promise.”

Sleep doesn’t really come that night. He manages an hour or two, here and there, but otherwise spends the night trying to think about anything other than Katya and Nesbitt.

Which means he’s awake when Stella sneaks out of her room early the next morning with a familiar leather jacket over her arm.

Matt clears his throat and Kidd practically jumps out of her skin.

“Casey!” She exclaims in a half-whisper. “You’re awake!”

He lifts one brow at her and points to the jacket. “Is that Severide’s jacket?”

“What? this?” She asks, with her eyes wide and mouth agape. “No! No. This is...this is mine!” She slips it on and Matt has to bite back a laugh when the jacket swallows her entire frame. “I, um, you know, I like my jackets baggy. I can wear a thick sweater under them in the winter that way.”

“Right,” he says, not believing her for a second. “Of course. It’s really early. Are you...going for a work out?”

“Something like that, yes,” she answers vaguely before looking down at her watch. “Wow, would you look at the time. I should go. Running late.”

“Late for what?” He asks. He might be enjoying watching her squirm a little too much. 

“Not late, really, just...behind schedule. My own personal schedule,” she backtracks. “Well, gotta go. See you later! Glad you’re safe, Lieutenant!”

Behind schedule, _sure_. 

And that was _definitely_ Severide’s leather jacket. He wears it fucking everywhere. Matt has seen it too many times to count. In his mind, Stella having his jacket means just one thing...

Brett owes him all the money in her wallet.


	53. When Gravity Starts to Pull

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt goes back to work to welcome a new candidate to 51.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** This chapter is a bit of a filler but does have SOME forward movement plus it takes us into 4x01. I hope you guys enjoy!
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo
> 
> PS - I may have used this song before? But at this point I can’t keep up so if I have then oops? Lol.

*******

_“'Cause love don't have any rules,_

_When gravity starts to pull,_

_You closer to another,_

_From a friend to a lover.”_

_-“I Think I Fell In Love Today” by Kelsea Ballerini_

******

“You know how I told you someone was going to hook up the other night?” Shay asks Brett as they walk into the house together next shift.

“Yeah,” Sylvie answers with a nod.

“Well, I’m pretty sure I know who did.”

Sylvie grabs Shay’s wrist and squeezes, bringing her to a stop next to their rig. “ _Who_?”

“Let’s just say Severide wasn’t at Molly’s or our apartment when he got the call from PD about Casey,” Leslie tells her with a wiggle of her brows. “ _And_ I’m almost completely certain he had an early morning visitor at the hotel.”

“Oh my god,” Sylvie says with a wide grin as she releases Shay’s wrist. “April?”

“No, April left town. I know because he offered to take her out for her last night and he was seriously disappointed when she turned him down. She came by the apartment briefly but only to give him a letter and say a short goodbye in person. So, it’s definitely not April.”

Sylvie’s eyes widen. “Oh! I think I know who it is. When I woke up yesterday morning Matt said Stella was already gone and when we got back from the district the night before she knew about PD getting you guys rooms and Matt and I never told her that.”

“This is _great_ news,” Shay says with a gleeful grin. 

“It also means I owe Matt all the cash in my wallet,” Sylvie says, smiling to herself softly. 

Shay looks confused. “Huh?”

“We made a bet about Kidd and Severide. He won,” she explains quickly. “He said they’d happen in two weeks and I said a month.”

“Uh huh.” 

Her partner’s tone sounds strange so Sylvie looks up to find her smirking secretively.

“What? What’s that look?” Sylvie asks.

“Nothing,” she replies quickly. “There’s no look.”

“No, I know you. That’s a look.”

“Well...it’s just I’ve noticed you and Casey are spending quite a bit of time together lately.”

Sylvie blushes furiously and hopes her recent decidedly non-platonic thoughts can’t be read through it.

“I mean, since Mills left you two have been practically joined at the hip.”

“Well, that’s just because I was the only one who knew he was working with PD on the whole Nesbitt thing,” she explains, only realizing after that it may not help her case.

“Yes,” Shay says with a shit-eating grin. “And isn’t that _interesting_?”

“No, it isn’t, really,” Sylvie answers, heading for the double doors that lead into the house.

“I beg to differ, Farmgirl. If it wasn’t _interesting_ , you wouldn’t be _blushing_.”

“Can we get back to talking about Kidd and Severide?” Sylvie asks with a huff.

“Brett! Shay!” Herrmann calls as they pass the common room. He meets them in the doorway with a wan smile. “Any word on how Casey’s doing?”

“He’s talked to her more than me,” Shay says as she nods toward Brett. “But I do know he called the Chaplain yesterday. Met him at his office and was gone for a few hours.”

“He did?” Sylvie asks with a hopeful smile. “I mean he promised me he would but I hadn’t had a chance to talk to him about it.”

“Oh,” Shay says, looking even more pleased with herself. “So, that was your doing then?”

“No...he--He’s gone to see him about other things before. That was originally all him,” Sylvie replies with a shrug, trying to play off her involvement with Casey. “I’m going to my locker.”

“Sure, sure,” Herrmann says before holding up a hand to stop her. “But before you go, should we ask him about it when he comes in or just act like it’s all business as usual?”

“He’s not going to mind you asking how he is,” Sylvie tells him. “But don’t make a fuss, okay? Ask him once, let him answer, and _then_ it’s business as usual. If he wants to talk he will. Otherwise, leave it alone.”

Herrmann nods. “Right. Makes sense.”

At Herrmann’s nod, Sylvie takes her chance to escape Shay and her suspicions about Matt.

The truth is, Sylvie doesn't know what the hell is going on with her lately. She’s always made sure she knows Casey’s off limits, but lately no amount of reminders can keep her thoughts from drifting to him. He’s just so damn _good_ , and not just _good_ but good _to her_. How can she ignore that? How is she supposed to avoid eventually feeling something for him when he’s made time to be there for her over and over again?

It’s practically inevitable.

_Practically_ inevitable.

Meaning there’s still a chance she can avoid it.

Because there is no way Matt will ever have feelings for her.

First of all, he’s still not dating. She’s convinced he had a small crush on Katya and he did nothing. She heard Severide ask him about a reporter he met at a bar once. He clearly didn’t make a move there either. That has to mean something, doesn’t it? Maybe that he’s not ready, possibly. And what’s she supposed to do with that?

Besides, if he ever is ready then who’s to say he’ll fall for _her_?

The way everyone talks about Gabby makes her sound like this fearless badass who never let anything or anyone stop her. That is definitely not Sylvie. And then he never talks much about his first fiancé but she heard enough from Shay to know she was a doctor and very self-sufficient. Sounds to her like Matt has a type and _she_ does not line up with that type. 

So, putting all her eggs in that basket is probably a bad idea, right?

Not only that, but hadn’t she promised herself to take a break from dating? 

She jumped from Harrison to Pete and now she was going to...what? Jump from Pete to Matt? That seems like a terrible idea. What if things ended with Matt the way they ended with Mills? Would she lose Casey the way she lost Peter?

No. No, she can’t have feelings for Matt.

She refuses to lose him. And, given her track record, she _will_ lose him if her... _affection_ spirals any further out of control.

She needs him. Whether he’s a friend or more than that isn’t important.

She needs _him_.

So, these strange new feelings are going to have to stay tucked away.

For the sake of her friendship with Matt Casey she will ignore them as if her life depends on it.

After dropping her things off at her locker, she heads back to the common room. Casey is there, looking as light as possible given what he’s been through, and addressing his Truck crew.

“Our new candidate starts today which means…” he says as he turns to smile proudly at Stella. “Kidd is no longer our candidate.”

Sylvie joins in the applause as she approaches the coffee maker.

“You’re a full blooded smoke eater now, Kidd,” Herrmann tells her approvingly. 

“And that means it’s someone else’s turn to cook,” Kidd fires back as she points to the fridge in the corner of the kitchen. “Schedule’s on the door.”

Sylvie chuckles at her friend while she pours her cup of coffee, which apparently earns her Matt’s attention. He turns away from his crew and leans against the counter with his body angled toward her and his back facing the long table.

“Good morning,” he tells her with a small grin. “When I left the other morning I forgot to tell you something very important.” He leans toward her as if to share a secret. “When Stella left, she was wearing Severide’s leather jacket.”

Her mouth drops open and a delighted look overtakes her face. “Oh, my god. Shay and I were talking about Severide possibly having hooked up with her just this morning. How could you have kept that bit of information from me?” She says, dropping her voice so that only he can hear her. She smacks his arm playfully. “You should have told me.”

“It seems somebody owes me all the cash in her wallet,” Matt tells her with a wide pleased smile.

“Jokes on you,” she tells him with a quiet laugh. “I carry the bare minimum amount of cash _ever_. You’ll be lucky to get twenty bucks.”

He glares at her, but his eyes are still warm. “Sneaky. Next bet I’m getting less subjective terms out of you.”

“You can try,” Sylvie teases. “But I’m crafty in addition to sneaky, so good luck with that.” She finishes fixing her coffee just the way she likes before moving on to a more serious observation. “You seem a little less weighted down today,” she tells him.

“I talked to the Chaplain yesterday,” he admits. “And you were right, of course, it helped. I still have some stuff to work through but I felt better just taking that first step.”

“Can’t say I ever get tired of being told I was right,” Sylvie says, needling him with a good natured grin. “But most importantly, I’m just glad it helped.”

“It did, thank you,” he says with a grateful glance.

“So,” Sylvie says as she glances toward the door to the common room. “Where’s your new candidate? I haven’t seen him around yet.”

“He’s late,” Matt replies with an irritated grimace. 

She winces. “That’s not the way to make a good first impression.”

“No, it is not. Especially, with me,” Casey tells her as he glances down at his watch.

Severide jogs in with a smug smirk on his face. “Somebody looking for a candidate?”

Matt’s brow furrows but he doesn’t say a word as he follows Severide on to the app floor. The rest of the house tags along. They all need to know what has the Squad Lieutenant looking so amused.

The scene they come upon when they reach the apron is as appalling as it is amusing. An obnoxious sports car pulls out into traffic, nearly causing an accident scene, and leaves behind a young guy -- close to her age -- who’s naked and wrapped in cellophane. His mouth is duct taped shut. Matt and Boden approach and pick him up off the ground. 

Stella joins Brett and they exchange secretive glances. The new guy’s pretty cute. Though, he doesn’t seem to take the job too seriously and that knocks his attractiveness down a few points in Sylvie’s book.

From listening to Boden’s conversation with him, she learns his name is Jimmy Borelli and the jackass who drove away from their firehouse so recklessly is his brother. His brother is also the guy who duct taped him, wrapped him in cellophane, poured beer all over, and dumped him on their apron -- naked.

_Classy_.

Unsurprisingly, Boden sent Borelli home and Casey didn’t object. 

Shay pulls a pocket knife out of her back pocket as Casey and Boden walk away from him, fully intending to cut the kid free, when the bells go off for Ambo 61.

“Ooh, gimme!” Stella says with a mischievous smirk as she takes the knife from Shay. “I will gladly cut the newbie free.” She turns to Jimmy with an appraising glance. “Don’t worry, I’ll take it easy on ya.”

Severide clears his throat and holds out his hand for the knife with an eye roll. “I think I’d better do that. You might scar the kid for life.”

“Or,” Shay whispers to Sylvie as they run for the rig. “He doesn’t want her admiring the younger model for longer than strictly necessary.”

Sylvie snorts through a laugh. “Oh! Wait till I tell you what Matt told me this morning! You’re gonna _love_ it.”


	54. See Me Through

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ambo starts the day with a rough call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** And now we start the actual 4x01-4x03 plot. I hope this isn’t too redundant if you’ve watched season four recently. 
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“Won't you look down upon me, Jesus,_

_You've got to help me make a stand._

_You've just got to see me through another day._

_My body's aching and my time is at hand,_

_and I won't make it any other way.”_

_-“Fire and Rain” by James Taylor_

******

Well, that fucking _sucked_.

That young mom never even got to hold her baby boy.

She died on the way to Med.

Sylvie had only seen Shay so desperate to save someone one other time before and that person was _Severide_. Her intense emotions over this young woman spoke volumes about the deeply tragic nature of this particular call. She caught a _stray bullet_. She was an innocent bystander who was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time and the Universe punished her for it.

Sylvie likes to see the best in the world, but she’s not sure how to find the _best_ in _this_.

They get back to the house after an abnormally quiet ride. Neither one of them spoke, no one turned on the radio. The sound of the engine running had never been so loud. It felt oppressive and heartbreaking. There aren’t any words for what they just witnessed.

They welcomed a new life, a new baby, and then lost another. 

The balance of it is utterly cruel.

Alicia Morales deserved better.

The first person they come across when they enter the house is Severide.

He stops mid stride the moment he sees them.

“Whoa,” he says as he examines Shay’s heartbroken expression. “You guys alright?”

Shay scoffs bitterly, with watery eyes. “No.”

“Just a bad call,” Sylvie explains.

“Pregnant woman got caught in the crossfire of an armed robbery. GSW to the shoulder. We delivered the baby, but she didn’t make it. The baby wasn’t breathing when we handed him over to the back up ambo so for all we know he didn’t survive either,” Shay elaborates. “Just a fucking shitty start to the day.”

Shay turns and storms away, Brett starts to follow her but Kelly stops her.

“I got it,” he says with a pained expression. “Are _you_ okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Sylvie tells him. It’s a partial lie but Shay needs comforting more than she does at the moment. “Go after her.”

He nods and does as she instructs, leaving Sylvie standing alone in the hallway with no idea what to do with herself. She eventually heads toward the bunkroom, unconsciously seeking out Matt’s quarters. She finds him shaking his head and pacing the small bit of floor in the tiny room. 

He looks up when she opens the door and his brow immediately furrows.

“What happened?” He asks without a moment’s hesitation.

She shakes her head and sniffles, trying to blink back the tears in her eyes. “Just an...awful call. We lost a patient after delivering her baby and the baby wasn’t breathing so I don’t know what happened to him once he reached Med. The day is _starting_ _off_ unjust and that makes me a little crazy.”

She sits down on his bunk and runs her hands over her face before pushing her hair behind her ears and looking back up at him. 

“I’m the one who made the call to deliver on scene instead of taking her to Med, Casey. I mean, what if that’s what killed her?” Brett asks him as her expression pinches with guilt. “But she was already crowing and we were too far out. I don’t see how we would have made it.”

The mattress shifts as Matt sits down next to her. She feels his hand on her back, rubbing comforting circles. “You’re good at your job, Sylvie. You and Shay both know what you’re doing. I have no doubt you made the best decision given the situation. It seems to me that you did everything you could for her. You considered all your options and picked the best one. If your instinct wasn’t good then Shay would have overruled you. You know she would have.”

“God, what a _sucky_ day,” She mutters as she lets herself lean into Matt’s shoulder. “But enough about me. What were you pacing about when I walked in?”

“Antonio came by while you were out on your call,” Matt says with a deep sigh.

“I’m guessing he didn’t bring good news?”

“No, definitely not. Nesbitt is apparently working with the FBI. He barely spent twenty minutes in holding before he was back on the street. And, the icing on the cake, they can’t even search for Katya’s notebook because the FBI claimed jurisdiction over the scene. You know that bastard isn’t informing for the FBI. He’s playing them. He has to be. He’s still profiting from that trafficking ring and thanks to whatever deal he made, he’s gonna get away with it,” Matt sneers through gritted teeth. “So, yeah, I agree. Today is a fucking _sucky_ day. Katya died trying to bring down that ring and unless they can find her notebook it was all for nothing.”

“I’m so sorry, Matt,” Sylvie says wholeheartedly. “That’s awful. Are _you_ okay?”

“I’m good,” he tells her. She’s not sure he’s telling her the truth. “I just can’t sit around here doing nothing.”

“What does that mean?” Sylvie asks warily.

“It means Truck’s going for a ride,” he states with narrowed determined eyes.

“Matt, I don’t know if that’s the best--”

“I _have to_. Staying still is going to drive me nuts. If I can find that notebook...it’ll make all the difference. This is never going to end if Nesbitt finds it first.”

She sighs in resignation and nods. “Please be careful.”

“Always,” he promises.

She snorts derisively and rolls her eyes in fond irritation. “Yeah, right.”

“Hang out here as long as you need,” he offers with a reassuring smile. “It’s quiet and I know that’s hard to find anywhere else in the house.”

“Thanks,” she says as she takes a deep shaky breath. “I’m gonna take you up on that.”

His hand skims her back one more time before he stands, grabs his radio, and stalks out of the bunkroom.

******

He can’t believe the FBI actually let Nesbitt stay inside the club while they searched it. How stupid can they be? Why isn’t it obvious to _everyone_ what Jack is up to? He wants to find that notebook for himself so he can cover his tracks. So the FBI never finds out he’s playing them.

He stomps out of the club after nearly laying hands on an FBI agent to get to Nesbitt. He knows he shouldn’t have gotten in the agent’s face but how the _fuck_ do they not get it?

He’s still pissed as they drive off toward the call that just came in. The club is closer to the scene so they arrive first. His previously established fucking sucky day continues when they reach the block of the scene and the road is completely blockaded by vehicles. The neighbors line the streets and shout at them. They don’t want them here, they yell. It becomes increasingly clear that the neighbors are interfering with the call on purpose.

They try to get people to move the cars but they refuse. They’ve blocked both ends so Squad and Ambo can’t get in either.

Matt manages to find out that the house that’s burning is a known crack den. The neighbors want it gone. Boden gives them the order to move the cars out of the way by any means necessary. 

Matt finds one of the vehicles still has the keys in it and uses it as a battering ram to clear a path and _maybe_ he gets a little carried away and takes out his anger on the other cars. Anger over Nesbitt, on behalf of Katya, himself. Hell, maybe even some over Sylvie losing a patient. She doesn’t deserve a blow like that or to feel that kind of guilt. 

They finally make it through to the house and it’s a full blaze by the time they reach it. Truck and Squad search the building with the exception of Otis and Kidd. Matt sends them to the neighbors to evacuate it. The houses are too close together. The fire could jump or the radiant heat alone could start a blaze. They can’t risk that.

They pull a victim from the fire, burned beyond recognition. Ambo starts to work on him but it doesn’t take long for Shay to call Brett off. It’s too late. The poor man they pulled from the fire is done for.

It’s not long after that a window on the second floor collapses into the neighboring house. The neighboring house where he sent Otis and Kidd.

“Kidd!” Severide shouts as he races toward the house.

Matt follows as Chief tries to raise Kidd or Otis on the radio.

They run into the house and up the stairs, masking up as they go. They find Otis, Kidd, and the resident at the top of the stairs on their way down.

“Stella,” Severide says in relief as soon as he lays his eyes on her.

“I’m good! Otis is good! We’re all good!” She assures him.

They walk the old man from the house and take him to the ambo. Shay gets him oxygen and while she’s prepping it, they have a chance to talk with the resident. He tells them the neighbors blocked the street because that house was a blight on their neighborhood and they were frustrated nothing was being done to get rid of it. That they _meant_ well.

Yeah, well _meant well_ just got a man killed and nearly cost him two firefighters.

Fuck this neighborhood and their good intentions as far as Matt’s concerned.

******

After the last 24 hours, everyone is ready for a night at Molly’s. Everyone except Matt, apparently who picks up another half of a shift. He’s covering for a Lieutenant who called in sick on 3rd until a relief can be brought in. Sylvie’s more than a little worried about him.

And Shay.

And Stella.

And Severide.

And Baby Morales.

And Firehouse 51 too since they’re being accused of slow walking their response to the 24th Street fire. 

Basically her entire world feels like it’s tilted and any small push could send it completely topsy turvy. 

She’s sitting with Shay at Molly’s with an empty beer bottle on the table in front of her. She’s unable to picture anything but that tiny baby they delivered that morning. She can’t do anything about the other things she’s worrying about but she can find out about this _one_ thing, can’t she?

“Ugh, Shay, I have to know if that baby survived. I _have_ to,” she tells her, breaking the tense silence that had fallen between them.

“Thank God you said something because I’ve been over here thinking the _exact_ same thing,” Shay admits. “I just didn’t want to be the only one.”

“You’re definitely not the only one! I haven’t stopped thinking about that baby boy.”

“As long as we’re in this together,” Shay says as she reaches across the table and grabs Sylvie’s hand. “I think I know someone I can call for info.”

“Together,” Sylvie agrees. “Do it. See what you can find out.”

Forty minutes later they’re walking into Med, meeting Shay’s friend Kendra, and being led to the newborn babies. Beyond the glass in a tiny bed, with a name placard that reads “Baby Morales”, is the little infant they delivered. He looks beautiful. Perfectly healthy. Sylvie’s momentarily relieved until she realizes something else.

He’s alive, sure, but who’s going to look after him? He’s already lost his mother. Does he have anyone else?

That question plagues her for the rest of the night, and she already knows it won’t stop plaguing her until she finds the answer.


	55. Still Hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt gets home from work to find a surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** I finished a chapter so you all GET a chapter! Yay! I’m pretty sure I’ve written through chapter 62 or 63 now? I haven’t counted lately. BUT I can now promise you that forward momentum is DEFINITELY in your future. (wink, wink)
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“There'll be times when someone you know,_

_Becomes someone you knew,_

_But you'd do anything to change it._

_And words you wanna take back,_

_But you know you can't._

_When the page just won't turn,_

_And it still hurts,_

_Break on me.”_

_-“Break On Me” by Keith Urban_

******

Matt arrives home around nine in the evening, surprised to find Shay and Sylvie huddled together with coffees on their couch. 

There’s no sign of Severide, which doesn’t shock Matt in the slightest. Severide came by the house to pick up something he left in his quarters and Matt took a moment to show him Kidd’s toasted turn outs -- Matt had to approve the order to replace them. Severide took one look at them and rushed out of the house. Matt wasn’t even sure he got what he came back to retrieve. With Sylvie _here_ , Matt assumes Kelly is with Stella at the girls’ apartment. 

Matt can’t say he blames him. If he’s right about Stella and Kelly then the 24th Street fire must have shaken his friend up pretty badly.

“Ladies,” Matt greets with a nod. “This looks dangerous. Am I entering at my own risk?”

Shay chuckles. “Not dangerous. We’re just celebrating that the baby we delivered made it. He’s a happy and healthy five pound, 2 ounce wiggling, wailing bundle of joy.”

“Finally, some good news,” Matt says with a weak grin. “I’m happy to hear that.”

His eyes drift to Sylvie and he realizes he never had a chance to tell her about what happened at Stilettos with Nesbitt. By the way her gaze lingers on him, he can tell she’s as eager to talk to him as he is to talk to her. Shay, bless her, gets the hint.

“You know, I’m gonna call Kendra,” Shay says. “Ask her what she wants in return for helping us visit Baby Morales tonight.”

“I think that’s a great idea,” Sylvie agrees.

Leslie walks off toward her bedroom, leaving them alone, but Matt still doesn’t want to talk out in the living room. Everyone knows a little about the case by now but Sylvie’s the only person who knows everything and he’d like to keep it that way. Besides, there’s at least one other thing he needs to talk about too and he doesn’t want to risk anyone overhearing them.

“Can we talk?” He asks her. “Somewhere more private?”

“Of course,” she replies immediately. 

He gestures down the hall with a nod of his head and she follows without a single doubt about where he could be taking her. The only place in this apartment he knows he can get privacy is his room. So...that’s where he takes her. Maybe not the smartest choice considering how he knows he feels about her, but there’s not a whole lot of options.

He opens the door and motions her in first.

She smirks at him as she passes him to enter the room. “Never been in this room before.”

He chuckles, despite the bad news he wants to share with her, and rolls his eyes. She has too. Just not _this particular_ bedroom. “This is my only private space in the whole apartment. We might have been alone in the living room but sound still carries.”

She nods and then sits herself down on his bed, with her back against his headboard and one leg tucked underneath her. “Then I guess I’ll get comfortable,” she replies with a teasing grin. She pats the spot next to her, which is obviously the side of the bed he sleeps on since there’s a nightstand next to that side of the bed. He sits and presses his back into the headboard with his legs stretched out in front of him.

“What happened when you went to Stilettos today?” She asks, knowing exactly what he wants to talk about.

“The FBI had Jack in the club while they searched it,” he tells her with a shake of his head. “He’s gonna find that notebook and destroy it and he’s gonna do it while the FBI watches too. It’s bullshit.”

“Sounds like it,” Sylvie agrees.

“And then something else happened today while I was covering for the Lieutenant on third,” he says with a thick swallow, looking pointedly away from Sylvie. 

This was more the reason he wanted to be alone than anything going on with Nesbitt. As if sensing his distress, Sylvie reaches over and grabs his hand -- linking their fingers together. “What’s wrong? Was it a call?”

He shakes his head. “No, I just...I happened to pass Gabby’s plaque in the Firehouse on my way out and--” he shuts his eyes tight as he continues, trying to push away memories he wanted to be done with forever. “Today marks a year since the fire and collapse that killed her. I don’t think anyone else has realized it and I didn’t want to be a downer so…”

“That’s why you wanted privacy,” Sylvie finishes for him, her voice full of understanding. “You know Shay and Severide would want to be there for you today, right? They wouldn’t mind mourning as long as you all were mourning together. You _can_ talk to them about it.”

“I could, you’re right,” he says opening his eyes again and nodding. “But we’ve all come so far since then. I don’t want to pull us all back to those first few weeks after she died. The house was so different. You wouldn’t have recognized it.”

“It’s already different from when I arrived,” she tells him. “And that was after you guys had been recovering for a while. I really am sorry you all had to deal with that. I can’t imagine losing any of the 51 family I’ve come to know. Putting myself in your shoes...it hurts a hell of a lot.”

“I never want you to be in my shoes,” he tells her. “I don’t want to lose anyone else on the job ever again. I don’t know if I could handle that.”

Sylvie shakes her head at him and adjusts her position until they’re sitting shoulder to shoulder. She never once lets go of his hand. Her head comes to rest on his shoulder as she talks. “You could. You underestimate yourself, Matt. I have no doubt you would step up for everyone else at 51. They would need you and you’d know that. Honestly, I’m not sure there’s much you couldn’t do for 51.” There’s a pause where he doesn’t know how to reply. He’s flattered but also thinks she gives him too much credit. Sylvie somehow senses his hesitation and takes pity on him by changing the subject. “Did you get any sleep on shift?”

“Remind me, what’s sleep? I don’t seem to know anything about it anymore. I haven’t gotten any of that since before the incident at the club the other night.”

“Matt!” She scolds. “You _have_ to sleep!”

“I know I do,” he replies. “And I manage an hour here or there but I don’t think a whole night of restful sleep is in the cards unless Katya’s notebook is found by the _right_ people.”

“Or maybe you need to think about something else besides Katya and Gabby,” Sylvie suggests gently. 

“Maybe,” he agrees. “It’s been hard to think about anything else this week.”

“Do you want to hear about the baby?” Sylvie asks with a shy smile. “He’s really cute.”

He laughs softly and nods. “Sure.”

“I’ll tell you all about him as soon as you eat something and change out of your work clothes,” Sylvie insists as she lets go of his hand and stands from the bed. “You change, I’ll take care of the food.”

Did she just incentivize their quality time?

He grins at her and shakes his head in amazement.

She knows he enjoys listening to her talk and she’s taking complete advantage.

He does as he’s told. He showers a shift and a half away, changes into sweats and a t-shirt, and then wanders out into the living room. She and Shay are talking across the kitchen counter and at the sight of him Sylvie pats one of the stools in front of the breakfast bar. He rolls his eyes but complies. He initially doesn’t think he’s hungry but the minute she sets a sandwich, chips, and a cold beer down in front of him he realizes he’s _famished_. 

She smirks at him knowingly as he eagerly begins to devour the food on his plate.

Shay’s phone pings and she starts to move toward the door as she reads the message. “Got a date. I’ll see you guys later.”

“A date?” Sylvie asks in amusement. “It’s after ten!”

“Okay, maybe it’s not _exactly_ a date,” Shay replies with a wicked grin. “Don’t wait up!”

“You don’t have to stay,” Matt tells her between bites. “I know it’s late.”

She waves off his concern and shrugs. “I promised to tell you about the baby. Plus, I have a feeling Stella and Severide need our place to themselves for a while.”

Matt snorts through a laugh as he agrees with her. “Probably true.”

“Stella sent me a text making sure I knew what her bra hanging on her bedroom door knob meant,” Sylvie informs him with a mirthful grin. “So, I think I’m better off here than at home.”

Once he’s finished eating, he expects her to move them over to the living room but she surprises him by grabbing his hand and leading him back toward his bedroom.

“What are we doing?” He asks warily.

“Bedtime stories with Sylvie,” she explains with a warm smile. “You _need_ to sleep, Matt. So, you’re going to lay down while we talk and at the very least maybe you’ll get some _rest_ even if you don’t sleep.”

“Bedtime stories with Sylvie, huh?”

God, she’s freaking adorable.

She releases his hand as they reach his room and takes up her former position on his bed. He follows her lead and lays down next to her. She stays sitting up with her back against the headboard and starts talking. She describes the baby and how small he is. She talks about his tiny fingers and tiny toes. She tells him the whole story about the call and Leslie reaching out to Kendra. At some point his eyelids begin to feel heavy and drift closed, with her lovely lilting voice washing over him like a soothing balm he feels more relaxed than he has in _days._

With his eyes still closed, he suddenly feels fingers combing through his hair. They caress soft paths over his scalp and only add to the calming effect of her voice. He half-consciously moves toward both her touch and her voice. Sleep is coming for him fast now.

As it catches up with him, he has a fleeting realization that his head isn’t resting on his pillows. He thinks, though he can’t be sure, he’s somehow ended up with his head in her lap. But then, as long as her fingers continue to stroke his hair, he honestly doesn’t give a damn.

Falling asleep like this—with her—is _heaven_.

He wakes up the next morning to find her gone and a note stuck to his phone.

_I’m back at mine. I left early this morning. Didn’t want it to be awkward with Severide and Shay. I’m always around if you need me._

A sleepy yet goofy grin overtakes his face. He honestly doesn’t know what he would do without her. It’s a realization that causes both his fear and his fondness to grow. What if he falls all the way down this rabbit hole and she doesn’t fall with him? What if he _thinks_ he wants her simply because she’s been so reliably there for him through all his worst moments? What if, in reality, he’s seeing more between them than she ever will?

He rubs a hand over his face and groans. This is too much, too soon after waking up. But bottom line, as soon as this Nesbitt bullshit is sorted out, he’s going on a date. It’s beyond time that he step out of his comfort zone and give it a shot.

He’ll never know if what he’s feeling for Sylvie is tied up in a rebound or not until he _actually_ has a rebound.

Leslie was right about that the last time they talked about his love life and she’s still right about it now. Only _now_ , he feels ready to find the answers he’s been afraid of for far too long.


	56. Shaking Your Faith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt gets some closure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** This is the last chapter of the Stilettos plot, THANK GOD. This was the longest plotline EVER. Seriously, I thought it would never end.
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“This world has a way of shaking your faith,_

_I've been broken again and again,_

_But I need all the cracks in my shattered heart,_

_'Cause that's where her love gets in.”_

_-“Woman, Amen” by Dierks Bentley_

******

Matt knows he looks like an idiot this morning. He got to the Firehouse early so he could keep an eye out for Brett. They hadn’t had a chance to talk much since he literally fell asleep on her the other night. He thinks she’s fine but it’s hard to tell over text and he has to make sure he didn’t somehow over step. He’s anxious so everytime the bunk room door opens he looks up. He’s made awkward eye contact with nearly everyone in the house at this point.

She walks into the room and he quickly catches her eye to beckon her closer.

Her smile is affectionate as she reaches him. He takes that as a good sign.

“Hey,” she greets.

“Hey,” he parrots. “We haven’t really talked since the other night. Do we need to talk about it?”

She looks amused at his concern. “About what? You falling asleep in the middle of my story? Am I that boring?”

The tension in his shoulders eases at her joke. “No. I just wanted to make sure I didn’t make you uncomfortable or anything.”

“Matt, you very innocently fell asleep with your head in my lap,” she reminds him, quietly to keep anyone from over hearing. “It’s not like you made a move on me or anything.”

“So, we’re good?” He asks, with cautious optimism.

“We’re good,” she assures him. “I’m just happy you were _able_ to sleep, honest.”

He was able to sleep because of her. He’s certain of that. “Me too. Thank you for that.”

She waves him off and shakes her head. “All I did was talk. You don’t have to thank me for that. Although, I do think I left my jacket at your place—“

He nods, interrupting her. “You did. It’s in my truck. I’ll go get it now while we have a few minutes and leave it on your bunk for you.”

“Thank you! It’s my favorite jacket,” she says, squeezing his arm gently. “I’m gonna go finish getting ready for shift. I’ll see you at breakfast.”

“Yeah,” he replies, lamely. “See ya.”

He’s not sure what it means that Sylvie seems so cool about her essentially sleeping over. That’s not typical friend behavior but she genuinely doesn’t seem worried. Does that mean it truly was as simple as she’s making it seem for her? Did the gesture mean more to him than it did to her? Is he feeling these things for Sylvie because she’s safe and reliable? Is she a rebound or is it real? He’s still all turned around in his head.

He contemplates all of this as he walks to his truck. He grabs Sylvie’s jacket out of the passenger seat and makes his way back to the apron. He’s one step from reaching the driveway, distracted by his thoughts, when Nesbitt appears out of nowhere.

“Hear me out. You and I are on the same side. You gotta believe that.”

Bull. Shit. What a fucking load of _bullshit_. 

“We got in this thing for the same reason--to put an end to it.”

Matt fights the urge to punch the bastard in the face. One because he’s at work and in his uniform. He wouldn’t want a conduct unbecoming on his record. Two because he’s not buying Nesbitt’s “we’re in this together” act but he’s not sure he wants _him_ to know that.

“Why are you here?” Matt asks.

“Katya’s notebook,” he answers.

“What about it?” 

No way is Matt helping this son of a bitch find it.

“If we’re gonna nail these bastards, we gotta find it. Now, what exactly did she say about where it was?”

“I already told the cops,” he tells Jack, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

“Oh, I know, but if there’s any detail you remember, even something about the way she said it…”

A flash of her in the apartment, telling him she had everything written down and that she didn’t have it with her intrudes on the moment but he does his best not to let it show. This jackass doesn’t get any clues from him. The bells go off from beyond the open bay doors, indicating a vehicle accident for Truck, Squad, and Ambo. It saves Casey from answering Nesbitt and allows him to wordlessly walk away.

He tosses Sylvie her jacket as he passes her on his way to 81. She looks up as she catches it and notices Nesbitt standing on the sidewalk. She gives Matt a concerned glance as she opens the driver’s side door of 61. He shakes his head at her, hopefully indicating that she shoudln’t worry about it.

Especially not now.

They have a job to do.

******

They arrive on scene to find an armored truck flipped on its side and one other vehicle damaged. The other car must have hit the truck. Casey and Severide quickly assess the scene. There are two critical patients. One in the front of the truck and one in the back. The doors are reinforced so it will take them a minute to open it. 

A minute they might now have, as Boden points out, because the truck is up against a railing and if that railing falls then the truck goes with it. Casey assigns Herrmann and the new candidate to the vehicle that hit the truck while Squad gets to work trying to secure the truck in the event the railing fails.

Sylvie and Shay take all of this in as they wheel their gurney closer and watch Matt set up a ladder against the truck so he can reach the door. He’s sitting on the side of the truck when he realizes they won’t be able to get it open without some help. He yells for Otis to get the K-12 and then looks behind him, noticing a couple of shady characters and pointing them out to Boden.

Boden begins to address the crowd with the two suspicious looking guys and back them away from the scene.

As Sylvie and Shay come to a stop, they hear loud creaking and groaning. The chains securing the undercarriage come loose and the railing they were all worried about starts to fall away. Sylvie sucks in a sharp break as Matt goes sailing over the side of the truck.

“Oh, god,” she says with a gulp and a nervous grip around the side of the stretcher. 

Seriously, on top of everything else he’s been through lately _this_ has to happen too?

Severide throws himself and his halligan at the chains while Cruz desperately tries to secure them again. Boden climbs up on the truck with no hesitation. Sylvie leans up on her tiptoes to get a better look and breathes a small sigh of relief when she can catch a peek of Matt’s gloved hands holding on to the edge of the truck. It’s a small bit of relief but at least it’s something.

Shay reaches over and gives her hand a comforting squeeze as they watch Boden struggle to lift Casey back up so he can get a foothold and leverage. It takes several agonizing minutes that feel like hours but eventually he climbs back over the edge. He takes one moment to thank Boden and then it’s back to work as if he were never in danger. Sylvie expected nothing less.

Truck and Squad hurriedly work to free the men in the truck. Sylvie and Shay get the driver while Severide starts to force the back door open for the second victim. As they wheel the gurney away Sylvie makes quick eye contact with Matt. He gives her a weak grin and a nod, letting her know he’s truly okay.

When they get to Med, they drop off the patient and then Sylvie goes to grab some supplies. When she comes back she finds their stretcher, but no Shay. About five minutes later, Shay reappears with her phone in her hand and a smile on her face.

“Let’s get outta here,” she says as she grabs the stretcher and helps Sylvie push it down the hall.

“Where’d you go?” Sylvie asks curiously.

“I paid a quick visit to Baby Morales,” Shay tells her. “Just wait till you see the pictures I took. God, that kid is adorable.”

They get back just as Truck’s pulling in which seems odd because they should have been back long before Ambo. Matt steps out of 81 and storms into the house. Sylvie’s brow furrows and she mentally presses pause on asking Shay about the Morales baby. Something’s up with Matt.

She stops Herrmann as he passes by her. 

“What did I miss?” Sylvie asks him.

“He had us make a stop at the District. He went inside to talk to Voight and came out looking like a man on fire. Won’t say a word about what went on,” Herrmann answers.

Jesus, how she wants this Stilettos crap to be over. It’s stressing Matt out and that’s the last thing he needs. She takes off toward his quarters and finds him leaning against his desk, staring out into space.

“Hey,” she says softly, alerting him to her presence. “I heard you went and talked to Voight?”

“Yeah,” he mutters angrily. “They’re not gonna do a damn thing about Nesbitt looking for that notebook. He’s making CPD and the FBI look like a bunch of idiots and they don’t even seem to care.”

“I’m sure they care, Casey,” she says as she steps inside his quarters and shuts the door. “There’s probably just not much they can do if the FBI has taken over the case.”

“That’s fine,” he tells her drly. “Then I guess it’s up to me.”

She squints at him and swallows thickly. She doesn’t like the sound of that. “Matt, maybe you should take a step back from all of this. I--you’re really upset and I wouldn’t want to see you get hurt. You _have_ to be careful.”

“I can’t sit around and let him get away with this. Katya was killed because of him. He’s still trafficking girls and profiting off of it. There’s no way I can _step back_ when no one else is going to hold this bastard accountable,” Matt tells her, almost apologetically. “I just can’t do it.”

She’s about to try and debate him, even though a part of her knows there’s no use, when the bells go off again. This time just for ambo. Man down from unknown causes.

“We’re not done talking about this,” she tells him before she turns and leaves. 

The call is a weird one. It’s a call to the beach on Lake Michigan. A young man, supposedly healthy, grabbed his chest and passed out. His fiancé was delivering compressions when they arrived and full on panicking. When Sylvie checks him over, he doesn’t have a pulse. Shay gets out the defibrillator and places the pads on the patient’s chest while Sylvie does compressions.

“Charging,” she announces. And then a moment later, “Clear!”

Sylvie pulls her hands away as the shock is delivered. Nothing changes.

“Still in V-tach,” Sylvie states as she goes back to compressions.

Shay calls in a manpower assist and Sylvie continues compressions while her partner intubates. Once that’s done, Sylvie stops compressions. But still there’s no change. He’s _still_ in V-tach.

“We need an epi,” Sylvie suggests. Shay agrees and pushes epi. Once that’s done she charges the defibrillator again.

“Clear!” Leslie shouts.

“Oh my god, please--”

Just as she presses the button and before Sylvie can manage to stop her, the fiancé places her hands on the patient's chest. The machine not only shocks their victim but the fiancé as well.

“Does she not know what _clear_ means?” Sylvie asks in frustration.

Shay huffs and rolls her eyes. “Jesus Christ, we do not have time for this. Stay on him. I’ve got her.”

Shay works on their second victim, places the pads on her chest while she calls for a second ambo. Sylvie does compressions, shaking her head the entire time.

“I’m gonna push an epi,” Sylvie tells her partner.

“Go for it,” Shay says. “Charging.” And then “Clear!”

The machine shocks the woman and her heartbeat evens out. “Thank God,” Shay mutters as she returns her focus back to their original victim, leaving the fiance for their back up ambo.

Sylvie arms feel a bit like stretched out rubber bands at this point.

“I got him,” Shay says as she takes over compressions. “Still nothing?” When Sylvie shakes her head Shay continues. “Push another epi.”

Sylvie pushes another epi as the second ambo arrives. Two male paramedics run to their female patient. 

“61 to Main,” Shay says. “Hold off on the assist company.” And then addresses the other paramedics. “Accidental V-fib, shocked her one time.”

“How many epis did you give this guy?” 

“This is the fourth.”

Sylvie looks up as she answers and tries not to be intimidated by the gray polo. Luckily for them, the silver bars on his collar are broken up by two black squares meaning he’s a Paramedic in Charge, the same rank as Shay.

“Push one more and call it,” he orders. “He’s not gonna make it.”

Sylvie is especially thankful of Shay’s rank when she yells at him from where she’s working on their patient. 

“No! This is my call and I’m not doing that. Back off my damn scene and let me work! The SMOs aren’t always right!”

“Last shot,” Sylvie tells her. It’s literally their last shot. There’s no more epis in their jump bag.

Shay nods and motions for her to go ahead.

“Pushing epi,” Sylvie calls. As she pulls back from the shot she places her hands on top of Shay’s. “Stop.” They wait a beat and then a steady beep can be heard from the machine. She grins at her partner and nod. “We got a pulse. Praise the Lord, seriously, thanks,” Sylvie says in relief.

“Ha! Yes! I knew it!” Shay yells victoriously. She turns back and grins boastfully at the PIC who tried to give them orders. “He’s got a shot.”

Their manpower assist shows up at the perfect moment and helps them move their guy onto a backboard and then to the gurney, all while the other PIC glares at them from his own gurney with his own victim.

“Asshole,” Shay mutters under her breath as they roll their patient toward 61.

When they reach Med, they hand off their patient and once they do a little baby is rolled past them in their bed. Sylvie notices the little pink hat and feels her heart clench.

She turns to Shay with a beseeching glance. “You went to see Baby Morales without me last time,” she scolds. “You owe me.”

Shay chuckles and nods. “Fine! You don’t have to twist my arm. He’s too cute to resist anyway.”

They go see the baby and stand outside the glass for several minutes. 

“He’s beautiful,” Sylvie says looking down on him as he’s bundled up in his hat and blanket.

A nurse approaches and asks if they need help. Shay informs them they don’t and that they’re the paramedics who delivered him.

Sylvie noticed the still blank nameplate and can’t help but ask one additional question.

“Has the family come to visit yet?”

“No,” the nurse answers sadly. “They haven’t.”

The nurse walks away but Sylvie doesn’t notice. She’s too caught up in Baby Morales. Barely a week old and all alone in the world. It’s unfair and heartbreaking. 

It also might have been her if the Bretts hadn’t decided to adopt. Hell, maybe it was her. She didn’t know anything about her birth parents. Either way, she got lucky with the family that chose to take her home. She hates to think that Baby Morales might not have any of that luck.

“We should get back,” Shay tells her, reluctantly.

“Yeah,” Sylvie agrees absently. “Okay.”

They get back to the house to find men from Internal Affairs questioning everyone at the house. Kelly and Matt are worked up. They were the first people questioned. Apparently, there’s a chance that Boden could be relieved of his command if it’s decided that 51 slow walked the 24th Street fire. They all know they didn’t, but if they can’t prove it then they’re screwed.

Sylvie and Shay are pulled aside for questioning almost as soon as they walk through the door. They go in one at a time and answer monotonous question after monotonous question. Sylvie can’t find it in herself to believe that 51 will actually be proven guilty. The truth has to come out, doesn’t it?

When she’s done she heads to Matt’s quarters. He’s finishing up a bit of paperwork but stopping every now and then to stare at a page of obituaries. Once Sylvie can see the page over his shoulder, she knows why. Katya’s obit was published today.

And they didn’t even spell her name right.

That woman gave up her life to try and do the right thing and the paper can’t even bother to verify the spelling of her name. In that moment, she understands why Matt is so determined to bring down Nesbitt. The asshole deserves it.

“Hey,” he says when he sees her. “How’d the interrogation with IA go?”

She rolls her eyes and sits down on his bed. “Probably the same as yours. They asked the same question about 20 different ways and tried to intimidate me with possible outcomes of the investigation. As if that would change the truth somehow.”

“The investigation is horseshit anyway,” Matt tells her. “It’s all politics because Riddle thinks he has a shot at commissioner. He’ll do anything to show he can control ‘the problem house’. It’s funny that we’re such a problem when it’s convenient but every other time we’re the best the CFD has to offer. The politicians in charge can’t seem to make up their mind.”

“Great,” Sylvie replies dryly. “So, what you’re saying is, even when we get through the IA investigation, this won’t be the last time we hear from Riddle?”

“Sorry,” Matt says with a wince. “But no. We’re getting sucked into whatever game Riddle’s playing and he’s just getting started.”

“Wonderful,” Sylvie tells him. “Well, then let the games begin, I guess.”

They’re not even through with Stilettos yet and their next crisis is already starting? Christ, can’t they ever catch a break?

As they’re leaving shift several hours later, Shay catches Sylvie when she reaches her car. 

“Hey, come over to mine tonight,” she tells her. “I never got to show you those Baby Morales photos. Plus, I wanna talk about what we plan to do about this.”

“About what?” Brett asks.

“About that kid’s family ducking out on him,” Shay tells her. “No way we’re letting that happen. Right?”

Sylvie beams at her partner and nods. “Right.”

“Alright, my place around 8? We can order in while we plan,” Shay offers.

“Sounds perfect to me,” Sylvie agrees. “I’ll be there.”

******

Matt’s looking through his tools when Sylvie walks through the door that night after shift. Leslie let him know she’d invited Sylvie over and Matt had been lowkey looking forward to it...until his tools were delivered.

After that, he completely forgot about everything except Katya’s murder. So, he doesn’t notice her at first. 

It’s Leslie that greets her instead, “Right on time.”

Brett stops next to Matt and his tools. “What’s this?” She asks him.

He pulls himself away from rifling through his toolbox to meet her eyes. “The Feds dropped off my tools. Apparently, Stilettos is no longer an active crime scene. I was just going through them again in case Katya stashed the notebook inside.”

“Haven’t found it yet?” Sylvie asks sympathetically.

He sighs tiredly and shakes his head. “No, not a single page.”

“I’m sorry, Matt,” Sylvie says as she places a hand on his shoulder and squeezes in a comforting gesture. “If you’re looking to be cheered up Shay has new pictures of Baby Morales,” she adds with a small hopeful smile. “Looking at photos of a cute baby can’t hurt, right?”

He chuckles and stands to his full height. “Sure, why not,” he says looking first to Brett and then to Shay. “Where are these cute photos?”

“Gather round, folks!” Shay announces as she pulls out her phone.

Sylvie immediately crowds into Shay’s space but Matt stands back.

It’s been a stressful day and as hyper focused as Matt has been on Stilettos lately he _needs_ a night to relax. He should take _tonight_. Sylvie’s here after all and she always helps. No matter what the problem is, _she_ helps.

“Oh my goodness!” She gushes grabbing the phone from Shay and zooming in on the photo. “God, look how cute! You should get this one framed.”

Shay snorts and gives her a bemused glance.

“I’m totally serious! Frame it!”

Her words cause a flash of memory. He’s taken back to Stilettos and the in progress back room. An image of framed up walls with no sheetrock comes to mind and he gets a sudden inkling. It’s an idea that nags at him until he can’t ignore it.

The walls were framed up but not covered in sheetrock. 

It would have been easy to stash something inside the walls without anyone noticing…

“I’ll be back in a bit,” he says suddenly.

He feels Sylvie and Shay staring after him as he leaves but he doesn’t have time to explain. He has to get there before Nesbitt. 

He races to the club, uses the key he has to get in, and with his halligan he strategically breaks open the walls until he finds it. A leather bound folio full of documents and hand written notes. _Katya’s notebook_. As he leaves the club and gets in his truck, with the notebook in hand, he worries someone might be watching him and that worry is confirmed when he notices a silver BMW following him. 

Matt tries to evade but it’s no use so he pulls over and steps out with his halligan at the ready. Though, when Jack aims a gun at him Matt knows he’s outmatched. He’s about to take his chances and swing at the guy anyway with flashing lights come into view and tires screech to a halt. 

Sirens wail in the distance as Hank Voight shouts, “drop your weapon!”

Jack tries to tell them he’s a protected witness and then tries to blame it all on Casey. Both strategies fail to impress Hank Voight.

“You know how you drown a rat, Jack?” Voight asks. “You toss his dumb ass in the deep end, and you wait for him to sink.

While he and Jack have been distracted by Voight, Jack’s FBI handler appears behind him with his weapon drawn.

“You’re under arrest for human trafficking and obstruction of justice,” his handler tells him as he cuffs Nesbitt. While they walk the FBI agent grabs Katya’s notebook off the back of Matt’s truck.

The tension that had been sitting on his chest since the night this undercover operation blew up in his face eases. The Feds have the notebook, not Jack. The Feds have arrested Jack, not let him go. Katya’s sacrifice means something.

It’s _finally_ finished.

“Hey, you okay?” Voight asks.

“Yeah.” And then he pauses to wonder how Voight knew Casey needed back up. “You were following me?”

Hank smirks, nods, and walks away as his phone begins to ring without another word.

And just like that, _it’s over_.

He’s done with Nesbitt and Stilettos _forever_. 

His phone rings in his pocket and he looks down to see Sylvie’s number flashing on the screen. He answers as he steps back inside his truck. 

“Hey.”

“Hey?” She asks, sounding panicked. “You run out the door without a word and all I get is _hey_?”

He chuckles at the sound of her irritation. For some reason, he’s _happy_ to hear it. He knows he needs to apologize for walking off the way he did. It was rude and he knew he probably worried her and Shay. 

“Why are you laughing?” She asks curtly.

“Just happy to have you around to worry about me, that’s all.”

“Yeah, I feel like that’s all I do lately. Any chance that’s going to change anytime soon?”

“I found the notebook, the Feds have it, and they arrested Jack,” he tells her, offering a quick summary of where he’s been. “So, yeah, I think there’s a chance.”

“They arrested him?” He hears the hope in her voice clear as day. “So, you’re done? Really and truly _done_?”

“Really and truly done,” he replies.

“Thank God! Now get back here so I can yell at you in person for scaring the _shit_ out of me. The sooner I do that then sooner I’ll feel like celebrating with you,” she says scoldingly.

He laughs and nods. “Copy that. I’m on my way back now.”

He’s actually looking forward to her yelling at him. What is wrong with him? He knows he shouldn't be looking forward to it but he also knows it means she cares. Having Sylvie Brett care deeply enough to yell at him feels pretty damn good.


	57. Never Really Noticed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sylvie comes to a realization about herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** So, this chapter is a bit long but I’m sure you all will be okay with that. (wink, wink).
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_"We've known each other,_

_For a long long time,_

_But I never really noticed,_

_All the magic in your eyes._

_I've been around you,_

_A thousand times before,_

_And you've always been a friend to me,_

_But now I'm wanting more."_

_-“I’ve Been Thinking ‘Bout You” by Mariah Carey_

******

Things are different with Matt now.

She’s tried to ignore it and deny it, but that night spent comforting him in his room…

She’s never let a _friend_ sleep with their head in her lap and she’s never slept sitting up so as not to wake a _friend_ either.

She’s been so worried about him and she knew he wasn’t getting any sleep. She would have done anything if it meant he got even a few minutes of rest. And if that meant cradling his head in her lap and running her fingers through his _extremely soft_ hair then so be it.

To be frank, she relished it. She _loved_ offering him comfort. The very notion that he trusts her enough to be _that_ vulnerable fills her heart with warmth and affection almost to the _brim_. 

No, what she feels for him isn’t platonic anymore. She sees that now. She has no idea when her feelings changed or why but denying them becomes harder every day. She has no fucking clue what to do about them or if she _should_ do anything about them. What if he doesn’t feel the same? What if, to him, they truly are _friends_ and nothing more? Can she risk that? Would she lose him if that were the case?

And what about her resolve to be _single_ for a while? She decided she wasn’t going to jump from relationship to relationship anymore. And, if Casey feels what she feels, that’s exactly what she’d be doing.

God, this realization has the _worst_ timing.

“How long have you been up?” Stella asks, entering the kitchen with a surprised expression.

“Too long,” Sylvie tells her with a sigh. “My brain won’t shut up.”

“Got a lot on your mind, huh?” Kidd asks with a smirk. “Any of that related to a certain blue eyed Lieutenant you spent the night with the other night?”

Sylvie freezes and swallows thickly, trying not to show her nerves. “It wasn’t like that.”

Stella chuckles with clear disbelief. “No? It wasn’t? So what? You stayed up all night gossiping and painting each other’s nails?”

Sylvie sighs and runs her hands through her hair. She can already feel the stress building between her temples. She gulps down the rest of her coffee and ignores Stella’s question. “I’m gonna hop in the shower and start getting ready for work.”

“Fine,” Stella says, grinning wickedly. “But we’re not done talking about this.”

Of course they aren’t. She loves her friends but do they have to ask her the hard questions? She doesn’t have the answers! She doesn’t know what she wants or what’s happening with her and Casey and she has no idea how he feels about her. At this point, she doesn’t even want to think about it. She just wants her life to go back to normal. 

Back to before she noticed how attractive Matt is or before she realized what these new feelings _mean._ Back to when Matt was _only_ her best friend and she knew how to act around him.

She sends up a quick prayer to get her through the next 24 hours. God, don’t let her turn into an awkward bumbling dork just because she has a crush on her best friend. _Please_.

******

“Why does our living room smell like paint?” Shay asks as she walks through the living room to reach the kitchen.

“Because Casey was in here working on his profession of love all night long,” Severide says dryly as he flips through television channels.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Matt asks, flipping him off. “It’s a birthday present.”

“Yeah, and it’s excessive.”

“Wait, for Brett?” Shay asks excitedly. “What’d you get her?”

“No,” he tells Leslie with a shake of his head. “I’m not telling you. You’ll tell her, even if it’s by accident.”

Kelly laughs and even though he doesn’t say anything they all know he agrees.

“You’re gonna make me wait until this weeknd to find out?” Shay asks, sounding offended.

“Yes, like everyone else.”

“Severide knows!”

“He was with me when I bought it! I didn’t have a choice but to tell him. Plus, I need someone to bring it to the party for me since I’m on distraction duty.”

“This is bullshit.”

“Shay, I trust you with my life and I will trust you with any other secret I have, but I cannot trust you with presents,” Matt tells her with a teasing grin. “Every time I told you about a present I bought for Gabby you told her before I could give it to her. You’ve lost the privilege.”

Severide and Shay trade smirks and secretive glances and Matt glares at both of them. 

“What?”

“Nothing, man,” Severide says with a chuckle. “You just compared buying Brett a present with buying Gabby a present, that’s all.”

“That is not what I meant!” He rebuts.

“I think you did,” Shay tells him. “But you tell yourself whatever you need to, buddy.”

He sighs and rolls his eyes. “Herrmann’s got Molly’s reserved for us?”

Shay nods. “And he’s been made aware of the theme and activities. We’re all set. Kidd, Severide, Cruz and Otis are gonna help me get everything set up while you keep Farmgirl distracted. Everybody’s clear on our timeline and objectives, Lieutenant.”

His rank is said sarcastically and intended to tease. He’s taking this party a little too seriously, he knows it. But...it’s Sylvie. It should be perfect.

“It’s her first birthday in Chicago,” he says, trying to explain. “I want it to be a good one.”

Shay smirks at him as she sits down next to him on the couch with her cup of coffee. “Me too. Don’t worry, Case. We got this.”

He knows the plans he and Leslie made and he _knows_ they’re good. He needs to let go and relax. Enjoy it. It’s a lot easier to do that when he can share things with Sylvie. He can’t share this with Sylvie.

He looks down at his watch and grimaces before turning to Severide and nodding to the door. “We gotta go. We’re meeting Boden for breakfast in fifteen.”

“Jesus,” Kelly says. “Is it that late already?”

“Unfortunately,” Matt replies. “Let’s hope Boden hits traffic.”

Boden actually _does_ get stuck in traffic. Kelly and Matt are five minutes late and still wait several minutes for their chief. They go ahead and order while they wait and just as Matt hands his menu back to the waitress he hears an oddly familiar voice from the table next to them.

“Matt the Firefighter?”

He turns his head and a slow grin over takes his face. Funny he should run into _her_ here.

“Naomi the Reporter,” he says as he reaches across and shakes her hand.

“You never called me,” she says with a playful smirk.

“Sorry about that. Work got a little overwhelming,” he says, thinking about Stilettos and most recently this IA investigation.

“Trust me if anyone gets that, it’s me,” she assures him. “I actually just got back into town from a remote assignment so you probably would have gotten my voicemail anyway.”

Funny that she came back into town right as Stilettos wrapped up. He _has_ been thinking he should get out and date. He could be wrong but this feels like opportunity knocking.

“I’m here for work and I don’t have a whole lot of time now,” Matt tells her with an apologetic smile. “But would you like to go to dinner sometime this week? I could call you later and we could talk details?”

She looks pleasantly surprised but beams brightly at him. “I would love that. My number hasn’t changed so call me whenever you have a moment.”

He nods and smiles confidently at her. “I will. I definitely will.”

Naomi drops cash on her table for her meal, picks up her to-go cup of coffee, and then winks at him. “I look forward to it. See you later, Firefighter Matt.”

He chuckles and waves as she leaves.

Once she’s gone, Kelly hits Matt in the arm _hard_. 

“Ow, _what_?” Matt asks.

“You can ask _her_ out but you can’t ask _Brett_?” Kelly asks him in frustration and amusement.

“ _She’s_ not one of my best friends,” Matt says defensively. “What if I’m wrong about my feelings for Brett and it’s just me projecting something onto her because she was the first person I...you know, slept with after Gabby?”

Severide lets out a booming laugh, far louder than necessary, and shakes his head. “You’re an idiot. Rebounds are typically 90 percent physical attraction. You and Brett...well, there’s a spark for sure but it goes way beyond physical. Trust me, Brett would _not_ be a rebound for you.” He stops and points at the door they both watched Naomi walk through a moment ago. “Now _she_ would be your rebound. And there’s nothing wrong with that, but you gotta stop overthinking your feelings for Brett. You’re never gonna get anywhere if you keep doing that.”

He wants to continue the conversation and ask Kelly a few more questions about his insights on Matt’s feelings for Brett, but he never gets the chance. Boden chooses that moment to finally show up. They spend breakfast strategizing and discussing the 24th Street Fire investigation. There’s not much they can do other than try to keep the rest of the house from thinking about it as much as possible.

When they get to the Firehouse, most of second shift has already arrived. He saw Brett’s car out front but he doesn’t see her in the house. Boden heads off toward his office and his Lieutenants retreat to their quarters.

When Brett and Shay don’t appear after a few minutes, Matt goes out in search of Borelli. While he’s got a free moment, his candidate should be running drills.

About fifteen minutes later, Brett finally walks into his line of sight. She and Shay walk onto the app floor with hangdog expressions, like a couple of kids who were just scolded by their teacher. He wants to ask about it but, as always, the bells go off. It’ll have to wait.

There’s nearly a collective groan throughout the house when 24th street is announced as their destination. No one seems to want to go back there and Matt can’t say he blames them. But this is their job and they don’t get to decide who they help. If anyone gives it less than their all, they’ll be hearing from _him_.

When they arrive at the scene, Casey meets Tricia. She tells him the storage pod fell and landed on her husband. When he looks up he can see the man’s leg smashed underneath it and it looks gruesome. He takes a moment to talk to the husband, Steve, while everyone else unloads.

Brett and Shay show up and begin assessing him while Matt tries to keep Steve talking but the patient begins to lose consciousness. At the first mention of Crush Syndrome and a tourniquet Matt knows he needs to get Tricia away from the scene.

This’ll be good practice for his candidate. Borelli has a lot of potential and every good firefighter needs to know how to reassure a victim. He leaves Tricia with Borelli and goes back to the scene.

Squad and Truck prepare to lift the pod off of Steve when Shay suddenly orders them to stop.

“He’s going into Crush Syndrome! You release that leg and he’s going into cardiac arrest.”

“If we’re gonna save this guy, we’re gonna have to leave the leg behind,” Brett comments looking between Casey and Boden.

“Okay, call Chicago Med and tell them to send a trauma surgeon. We’re gonna have to amputate,” Boden orders.

They call Med and they send over Will Halstead. He arrives extremely quickly and asks if they have consent from the family. Matt walks over to Tricia and Borelli to get authorization. At first, Tricia’s resistant but Jimmy talks her around. Casey has to admit he’s impressed. 

Tricia agrees and requests to hold his hand. Casey brings her to her husband and they do what they came here to do. They save Steve’s life. They all hate that they had to amputate to do it but they know losing a limb is better than the alternative.

There’s no sense of gratitude from the neighborhood as they leave. No one is surprised by that. 

They clean up the scene and head back to the house while 61 runs Steve and Tricia to Med.

As they’re driving back he remembers how defeated Shay and Brett looked before the call. He never got a chance to find out why. He makes a mental note to ask Brett next time he sees her. Not that he’ll forget. He’s going to worry about it until he sees her again. He has no doubt about that.

Truck pulls in and he steps out onto the app floor, starting to shed his boots and turnout pants, when a voice catches his attention.

“I’m looking for Lieutenant Matt Casey?”

His head whips up and around to find _Naomi_ speaking to Otis. Otis smirks and then points his direction, watching Naomi as she walks away. Yeah, Naomi’s attractive. Matt realizes this but something about her being _here_ reminds him that she’s not anywhere near as appealing _to him_ as Sylvie.

And suddenly he regrets asking her out. 

Suddenly, he doesn’t want Sylvie to know about any of this. 

_Suddenly,_ he wants to get her out of the house before Ambo gets back. 

All three of these feelings happen in the five seconds it takes Naomi to reach him so by the time she’s standing in front of him Matt feels like he’s a split second away from panicking.

Which is ridiculous because he and Sylvie aren’t _anything_ more than friends. She’s given him no sign that she feels what he does. Then again, he hasn’t exactly told her how he feels so it’s not like she’s had the chance, is it?

Jesus, get it together, Matt!

“Firefighter Matt,” Naomi greets with a wolfish grin. “Long time, no see.”

“Reporter Naomi,” he parrots and then pauses. “That doesn’t sound as smooth as Firefighter Matt. I thought it did in my head but…”

She chuckles as he trails off. “I thought it was cute. I hope you don’t mind that I came by? It _is_ actually about work. Though, I might have volunteered for the story because I saw your name on the incident report.”

He quirks a brow at her. His panic fades as she gives him a reason to keep this professional. “Incident report?” 

“The 24th Street Fire,” she clarifies. “I have a source that believes the fire that killed that squatter was started intentionally. By a professional -- not a neighbor.”

“A professional?” Matt asks curiously.

“The paper got an anonymous tip advising us to look into Roger Maddox and the 24th Street Fire. So, me being me, I looked up the property record. Maddox bought it just yesterday. Well, his company did. Seems a little fast if you ask me and it’s piqued my interest. Especially after I realized your Truck company was the one who reported to the scene,” she tells him. “Is there somewhere we can talk? I have a few questions.”

So much for getting rid of her quickly, he thinks.

“Yeah, sure,” he tells her as he motions to the Firehouse doors. “Right this way.”

They pass Severide as he and Squad settle back down at the Squad table and Kelly smirks knowingly at him, shaking his head the entire time. Matt discretely flips him off as he walks past.

******

They drop Steve and Tricia off at Med and while they’re there, Leslie has a suggestion.

“Let’s go say our goodbyes to Baby Morales,” she says. “Chief’s right. We have to let it go. DCFS will show up for him in a couple days anyway. As much as I hate it, I’ve dwelled on cases before and I didn’t like where I ended up. We need to focus on our current shift.”

Sylvie bites her lip and shakes her head. “I don’t know. He’s still all alone. I can’t stand the thought of him not having anyone.”

She knows they deserved the concerned lecture Boden gave them that morning. She’s been told how calls are supposed to work too many times to count. Drop off and move on. But this baby boy deserves more than that.

From everyone.

“Hey,” Shay says as she wraps an arm around Sylvie’s shoulders and leads her down the hall. “You got adopted by a great family, didn’t you?” At her nod Shay continues. “Maybe he will too.”

“Maybe,” she agrees. Though she still feels like that’s too big of a chance to take.

They stop in front of the baby and take him in for several minutes when Shay spots someone over Brett’s shoulder.

“That’s Kendra,” she says. “I should go say hello. You good to wait here for a bit?”

Sylvie nods. “Yeah, of course. Go.”

She’s been standing there for several minutes by herself, watching the baby wiggle and gurgle with a soft smile, when a doctor approaches the other window.

“Cute, huh?” He asks.

“Yeah,” she replies, glancing over. “Are you a doctor in the NICU?”

“Nah, I’m just stopping by. Babies cheer me up. Weird, huh? You?”

“Paramedic,” she answers before pointing out Baby Morales with pride. “I delivered him.”

The doctor smiles softly at the baby and then turns to look at her. “Where’s the mother?”

“He doesn’t have anyone. That’s why I come,” Sylvie explains. “I don’t really know how much longer he’s going to be here. He doesn’t even have a name.”

There’s silence for a beat as she feels the doctor staring at her. Normally, she would feel like his staring was an intrusion, but with this man it feels...safe. Open. He’s not judging her. He’s genuinely curious. 

“I’ll tell you what,” he says. “If I hear something, maybe I’ll let you know.”

She blinks at him in surprise. “You would do that?”

“On the down-low, yeah. Yeah,” he says quietly. “Ambulance 61, right?”

She’s not sure how he knew that, but okay. That’s fine as long as he’s willing to help. “Yeah. I’m Sylvie. Thanks.”

He nods and gestures to himself. “Dr. Charles. It’s nice to meet you, Sylvie.”

“Yeah, you too,” she says just before he walks away from her.

Finally, some hope. This could be just the help she and Baby Morales need. Shay suddenly reappears at her side.

“Ready to go?” she asks. “Said your goodbyes?”

Sylvie nods, knowing she’s lying to her partner but unable to tell her what just happened. Shay said they should move on and as she’s the PIC Sylvie knows she should listen, but this baby needs someone. Sylvie can’t walk away from him now.

“Yeah, all good.”

They head back to the house and the entire drive over Sylvie can’t wait to tell Matt about Dr. Charles. She can’t tell Shay but she desperately wants to tell Matt. She knows he’ll understand, even if he doesn’t completely agree with her actions.

Severide’s eyes widen slightly as she and Shay step out of the ambo. Sylvie gives him a questioning glance as she approaches. “Do you know where Matt is?”

“Uh,” he stutters, looking startled.

“Briefing room, last I checked,” Otis responds from where he’s checking over the K-12.

“Thanks, Otis!” Sylvie calls as she rushes inside.

As she approaches the briefing room she _thinks_ she understands Severide’s hesitation. Matt’s not in the briefing room _alone_. There’s a woman in there with him. A very _pretty_ woman who’s smiling at Matt in a very specific way. Sylvie gulps anxiously and then turns on her heel. She retreats to the common room and tries to pretend she saw nothing. She doesn’t want to know who that is and she doesn’t want to know why she was smiling at Matt like she wanted to swallow him whole.

“Who’s the woman Casey’s talking to?” Stella asks her. “Do you know her?”

“Nope,” Sylvie says, deliberately avoiding looking up. “Never seen her before.”

“She seems pretty cozy with him. _Very_ flirty.”

“Yes,” Sylvie says, trying not to grit her teeth. “I noticed that. Good for Matt.”

Stella scowls at her. “Please, that is _not_ how you feel. Go get your man!”

Brett shushes her and glares weakly. “Shut up! First of all, he’s not my man. Casey can date whoever he wants. If she makes him happy then _I’m_ happy for him. He deserves that.”

“And you don’t?” Stella asks her pointedly.

“I never said I wanted to date him in the first place, Stella,” Sylvie points out.

“Oh, please, you don’t spend the night with someone--uneventful or not--unless there’s something there,” Kidd whispers. “Plus, you’ve always thought he hung the moon. It seems only natural to me that those feelings would progress beyond platonic eventually.”

She sighs. “Yeah, well, it looks like someone forgot to tell _him_ that. I’m gonna go restock the ambo. If you speak a word of this conversation to anyone--”

“It stays between you and me,” Stella assures her. “I promise. You know I’m just trying to look out for you, right?”

Sylvie hugs her roommate briefly before answering her. “I do, and I appreciate it. I’ll see you back here for lunch, okay?”

Sylvie makes her way to the ambo and shuts herself inside the back, ignoring Severide’s concerned stare. Fine, maybe she won’t tell Matt about Dr. Charles and the baby. Maybe she won’t tell _anyone_. Why do they need to know anyway? She’s not endangering anybody. She’s trying to do something _good_ and if they don’t understand that then that’s on them, not her.


	58. Like Dynamite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 51 catches a much needed break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** NOVEMBER 11TH, WE’RE BACK ON NOVEMBER 11TH. I forgot to mention that in my last note! YAY! I can’t wait to see where we find Brett and Casey when we come back! 
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“They don't cancel other plans,_

_Have conversations with nothing but their eyes._

_They don't hear each other’s names and forget to concentrate,_

_Hits a nerve and lights you up like dynamite.”_

_-“Friends Don’t” by Maddie and Tae_

******

The next morning, as their shift is about to come to an end, a familiar face walks onto the app floor. She heads straight to Borelli. Matt realizes that it’s Tricia from the Crush Syndrome call they had the previous morning and approaches so he can hear, with Severide and the rest of Squad not far behind him.

“How’s your husband doing?” Borelli asks.

“He’s out of surgery,” she answers. “They think he’s going to be alright.”

“That’s great,” Matt comments, genuinely.

“Is there someone I can talk to?” She asks. “It’s about the 24th Street Fire. I think I have something that can help.”

He leads her inside, he notices Severide knock on the back doors of the Ambo as they all pass. Matt glances back just before he steps inside the house to see Sylvie hopping out and following the group. She usually doesn’t sit back there unless she’s hiding. What could she be hiding from? Come to think of it, why hasn’t he seen her all night? He’s been so busy with incident reports and strategizing with Severide and Boden that he hasn’t even noticed. 

(Not to mention, internally freaking out about how to get out of this date with Naomi. He thought he wanted it and that it would be good for him but the more he thinks about it the more he wishes he could just man up and tell Sylvie how he feels.)

He doesn’t have time to stop and ask her about the hiding at this particular moment. He’ll have to find out later. Maybe it has to do with the meeting she and Shay had with the Chief at the beginning of shift. He still hasn’t had a chance to talk to her about that.

Matt goes to get Boden from his office and everyone gathers around the television in the common room. Otis helps Tricia hook her phone up to their television. What she tells them next quite literally saves their asses.

Her son recorded the crowd as they tried to approach the crack house fire. He got all of it. The street being blocked, the neighbors refusing to move the cars, all of them giving fair warning before they move the cars themselves…

It’s all there in living color.

Boden’s command and 51’s reputation lives to fight another day.

As they all thank Tricia profusely and clear out of the common room, Kelly stops him briefly. 

“You nail down specifics on your date yet?” He asks with a grin.

“No,” Matt answers vaguely. “Naomi was here about work, _mostly_.”

“Mostly?” Severide asks, smirking in a way that always irritates Matt. Like he’s enjoying Matt’s distress.

“Is Brett okay?” Matt asks. The image of her climbing out the back of 61 has been bothering him the entire time Tricia was showing them her evidence.

Kelly shrugs and looks doubtful. “I think so but she hasn’t said much since she came back from looking for you. Did she find you, by the way? She came back from Med yesterday looking extremely eager to talk to you.”

His brow furrows. “No. I haven’t talked to her since shift started. She came looking for me?”

“Yeah, I hesitated telling her where you were cause your date was here but Otis told her where to find you and she took off. She really didn’t talk to you?”

“No, she didn’t,” Matt says as he worriedly cranes his neck looking for a glimpse of blonde hair. He never finds it. “Where the hell did she go? She was _just_ here.”

******

Sylvie caught up with Shay as they were all dispersing from the common room, heading toward the lockers. “That woman that was here with Matt, do you know who she is?”

Shay bites her bottom lip and gives Sylvie a hesitant glance. “I asked Severide the same thing after you vanished earlier. Didn’t want to see him flirt with someone else, huh?”

“He can flirt with whoever he wants,” Sylvie says with a carelessness she doesn’t feel. 

Matt deserves to be happy. She _knows_ that. But seeing him happy with another woman _hurts_ and she hates it. She feels guilty that she can’t just suck it up and be happy for him like a _friend_ should be and she’s angry at herself for letting a crush on Matt take root in the first place! But it’s not like she _chose_ to have feelings for him. She didn’t even realize what they were until it was too late. By the time she understood what was happening a full blown crush had already bloomed!

God, why did it have to be _Matt_?

“Sure, he can,” Shay agrees. “But that doesn’t mean you have to like it.”

“Did Severide say who she is?” Brett asked, bringing them back on topic.

“Some woman he met on their bar crawl about a month ago,” Shay answers. She gives Sylvie a hesitant look as she continues. “He ran into her when they went to breakfast with Boden yesterday morning and asked her out.”

“Oh,” she replies, stomach plummeting to her feet. She forces a smile and swallows thickly. “Well, that’s great! He deserves someone great! And she seems…”

“Great?” Shay supplies with a sympathetic grimace. “Just a guess. You were on a roll with insincere platitudes.”

Sylvie sighs tiredly and nods. “He seemed happy, and that should make me happy, right?”

“Not if you have feelings for him,” Shay suggests. “Which I suspect you might.”

Her eyes water and she shakes her head. “I kept telling myself he was off limits for so long that I didn’t notice--It doesn’t matter. He’s been struggling with moving on. I don’t want to get in the way of that. Clearly, he likes her. I _should_ be happy for him. I _will_ be. From here on out.”

“Sylvie,” Leslie says softly as she puts an arm around her shoulders. “He’s asked her out on _one_ date. That’s it. Nothing’s happened beyond a little flirting and a bit of eye contact. You and Casey have a history and a genuine connection. That’s gonna beat out physical attraction every time.”

“It’s not a competition,” Sylvie says. “I’m fine--well, I _will_ be fine. It’s really not a big deal.”

She heads for her locker, opens it quicker than she thought possible, grabs her duffle, and briskly walks away. She doesn’t even bother to change out. She just wants to go home, shower, and sleep. 

She manages to slip out the side door of 51 without running into Casey or anyone else. When she arrives home she makes a beeline for the shower and relishes the hot water and it’s seemingly magical healing qualities. She’s put Matt out of her mind, but with him out of her mind all that remains is Baby Morales.

Thinking of him all alone at that hospital puts an unreasonable amount of weight on her shoulders. She feels like he’s her responsibility. She knows he isn’t, but she helped deliver him. She was the last person to see his mother alive. Shouldn’t she help if she can?

There’s also one other thing that’s been bothering her.

The idea of roads not taken. A fate _she_ was spared. She was adopted as an infant by a caring family who loved her unconditionally, but she very easily could have been like that tiny baby boy. Alone and helpless in a NICU with no one to give them a name.

She sits on the edge of her bed in nothing but a towel, with her wet hair dripping down her shoulders, and reaches for her phone. There’s only one person she can think to talk to about this. She dials the familiar number and waits for someone to pick up.

“Hey, honey!”

She beams at the sound of her mother’s warm voice. It soothes like lemon and honey in a cup of hot tea. God, some days she misses her mother so much it hurts. “Hey, mom. Do you have time to talk?”

“For you, I’ll _make_ time,” she insists. “What’s up?”

“Can you tell me the story? You know _that_ story?” Sylvie asks before gnawing on her bottom lip.

“Your adoption story?” Her mother asks. Sylvie can hear the concern in her voice. “You haven’t asked to hear that story since you were a kid. Is everything okay?”

“It’s just...with my birthday coming up and me not being able to come home I’m feeling a little homesick.” She doesn’t realize how true that is until the words are falling off her lips. She really _is_ homesick. Not enough to leave but enough to crave a hug from her mother at the very least.

“Are you sure that’s all it is?”

Her mother can see straight through her even when she can’t _see_ her.

“Well, that and I had a rough call recently. Nothing dangerous. Just... _sad_. I need to remember that sometimes something good can come from something bad. Please?”

There’s a pause where Sylvie can hear her mother tearing up on her behalf. Sylvie knows she can make out the tears clogging her daughter’s voice. Her mother has always been a sympathetic crier.

“We were on the waiting list. We’d been trying to adopt for years and it always seemed to fall apart at the last minute. We’d given up hope if I’m honest with you,” her mother says without any preamble. Immediately, Sylvie feels one tear fall down her cheek. She loves this story. Always had, even as a kid. “But then we got a call. Another couple had fallen through, something about an item they overlooked on a background check, and would we be interested in a baby girl who should be due any day now. Of course we said _yes_ , and then went on a mad dash to get a nursery set up before you came into the world. We spent a hectic, stressful, week waiting for you. But it was all worth it when the call came to visit you in the hospital.”

Her mother takes another pause to breathe slowly in and out, controlling her own emotions while she relives the moment.

“You were breathtaking. Soft and pink and wrinkly. They put you in my arms, and that was it. I knew you were mine. No question about it. All the pain and disappointment we’d been through was all a part of the journey that led us to you and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. We felt the same way when we adopted your brother. Your father and I could never conceive but that didn’t matter. You were _ours_ in every way imaginable and always will be.”

By the time her mother finishes, tears are streaming down Sylvie’s cheeks. Her mother had been through some _shit_ in her lifetime. At least three miscarriages and one nervous breakdown, that Sylvie knew of, plus a first husband who was verbally and physically abusive. Martha Brett knew struggle and she’d _hurt_. But she’d found her way to a life she loved and a family that filled her to the brim with joy and contentment. They have their disagreements, Sylvie and Martha, but she knows she’d be lucky if she was blessed with even a pinch of Martha Brett’s love and fortitude.

“Thank you, mom,” Sylvie says with a quiet sniffle. “I love you.”

“I love you too, baby. Thank you for asking for that story. I think I needed to tell it again just as much as you needed to hear it. We miss you.”

“I miss you guys, too,” she confesses. “I should come visit soon. Maybe I’ll take a furlough later in the summer.”

“Oh, we’d love that!” Martha says excitedly. “You come anytime. Just let me know when and I’ll get your old room all set up for you.”

Sylvie lets out a soggy chuckle and nods, even though she knows her mother won’t see it. “I’ll get back to you on that.”

She says goodbye to her mother and hangs up the phone. She thought that story would make her feel better but all it did was reinforce some hard truths. There was no one on a waiting list to adopt Baby Morales. No one was stepping up for him. Any day now he’d go to DCFS and who knows what would happen to him after that. A group home? A family that simply uses him for the financial support? Or a family that won’t put in the _work_ to love him like he deserves? No, she can’t let any of that happen. She _won’t_ let that happen. 

Even if she has to do all the legwork and research herself.

******

Matt never found Sylvie before he left. He’s sure she’s fine and he knows she can take care of herself, but it left something unresolved between them. He doesn’t know what exactly, but he feels tense now and he knows it’s because of her. He called Naomi as he walked out of the Firehouse and asked her to meet at the same diner where they’d bumped into each other yesterday.

He owed her an explanation.

As he sits and waits, he scrolls through the pictures on his phone. Smiling softly to himself as he stops on one of him and Sylvie from the failed Molly’s II opening last year. They were bundled up in front of the truck, with her arm looped through his, laughing at something. He couldn’t even remember what now, but Cindy Herrmann had caught the moment and texted them both the photo. It had been in his camera roll ever since. 

“Uh oh, I know that look.”

He looks up to find Naomi standing next to the table with a bemused grin on her face. She chuckles and rolls her eyes before taking the seat next to him, instead of across. She leans into his space and glances at the photo.

“She’s pretty. Who’s the blonde?”

“A friend,” he replies.

She gives him a flat look and then smirks. “An understatement if I’ve ever heard one. Matt, let me save you some time, I’m an investigative journalist and a damn good one. I can smell a lie from a mile away and that answer _reeks_ of half truths. So, let me ask again. _Who’s the blonde_?”

He huffs and shakes his head at her. He doesn’t really want to discuss Sylvie with her, but she knows he’s lying so he might as well.

“I’m pretty sure I’m in love with her,” Matt admits, blowing out a nervous breath. Damn, that’s the first time he’s said that outloud. _To anyone_. Even himself. “And she doesn't have a _clue_. At least, I don’t think she does.”

“Wow,” Naomi says with wide eyes. “In love, huh? And you haven’t told her?”

“Well, she was in a pretty serious relationship until recently and the guy left town. She’s had a hard time getting over him and then before that I knew I had feelings but I wasn’t sure I was in a good place to date so I just...stuffed them all back down. I tend to do that, and now…”

“Now, you’re chickenshit and tried to avoid telling her by going on a date with me?” Naomi asks. She doesn’t sound hurt -- just matter of fact.

“Seems like it,” Matt confesses sheepishly. “I came here to tell you we probably shouldn’t go out to dinner and to apologize.”

Naomi laughs lightly and stares at him in amazement. “You have got to be the nicest guy I’ve ever met. Most guys would just ghost me and not give a shit. But no, not Firefighter Matt. He has to cancel in person and _apologize_. Damn, if this blonde isn’t in her feelings over you then she’s crazy and you can tell her I said so. So, you’re gonna tell her how you feel, right? I haven’t known you long but I can tell you, chickenshit isn’t a good look on you, Lieutenant.”

“I don’t know,” he says with a sigh. “Her birthday is this weekend and I’m supposed to keep her distracted for most of the day and a part of me thinks... _that’s_ my moment. But what if she doesn’t feel the same? I don’t want to make things awkward between us _and_ ruin her birthday.”

“ _Or_ ,” Naomi starts. “She feels something for you too and you make her birthday the best day _ever_. You’ll never know if you don’t try.”

“I showed up to cancel a date and you end up encouraging me to confess my feelings to another woman?” Matt asks her with a mirthful grin. “You are something else. You know that?”

“Something rare and _awesome_ ,” Naomi clarifies boastfully. “Yes, I do know that. Thank you very much.” She reaches over and squeezes Matt’s hand briefly. “Good luck, Firefighter Matt. I wish only good things.”

He smiles up at her as she stands and nods. “You too, Naomi the Reporter, and I hope you get all the evidence you need to expose Maddox. He sounds like an asshole.”

“Oh, don’t you worry about me,” she tells him with a confident grin. “I _always_ find the truth. When I’m through, Roger Maddox won’t know what hit him.”

She walks away and he watches her go, feeling relieved and anxious. Relieved that Naomi understood, but anxious because now he had a very big decision to make and not very much time to make it.

******

Matt spent the first 24 of his 48 off finishing Sylvie’s present. He’s just finished the last bit of painting (and come back from moving it to his room to hide it from prying eyes) when Kidd emerges from Kelly’s bedroom for coffee.

In Severide’s Jonathan Toews jersey and little else.

Shay’s up too. Her eyes widen and find Matt’s across the room. They trade knowing grins and do their damndest to pretend this is completely normal.

“Hi, guys,” Stella says as she prepares two cups of coffee.

“Kidd,” Matt says with a neutral nod.

“Stell,” Shay greets, taking a sip of her own coffee to cover her grin.

Stella takes their coffees and quietly makes her way back to Kelly’s bedroom. When the door closes behind her, Shay lets out a loud gleeful laugh.

“I had no idea she was here,” Shay tells him.

“Honestly, I’m surprised!” Matt exclaims with a furrowed brow.

“ _How_ can you be surprised? They’ve been going at it for at least a week now. I think they’ve alternated nights,” Shay says with a confused glance and a chuckle.

“No. Not surprised that they’re sleeping together,” Matt explains with a smirk. “Surprised that he let her wear the Toews jersey.”

Shay laughs so hard that she doubles over and nearly spills her coffee. He reaches over and takes the mug from her, placing it on the counter.

“I forget how funny you can be, Casey,” Shay says as she wipes at tears in the corners of her eyes. “You’re in a good mood. That date must have been good for you, after all.”

“Yeah,” he says, awkwardly clearing his throat. “About that. It never happened.”

“Wait, what?” Shay asks. “Then where did you go after shift?”

“I did go to meet Naomi but I went to cancel our plans, not _make_ plans,” he explains. “It was a bad idea. I don’t know what I was thinking. Dating someone else isn’t going to change how I feel about Sylvie.”

“I could have told you that,” Shay says with a roll of her eyes. “And I would have if PIC were included amongst the officers and I’d been invited to breakfast.”

Matt’s eyes widen and he holds up his hands in a gesture of innocence. “Hey, if you’ve got an issue with not being included in officer’s meetings then take that up with Boden. I just show up where he tells me to. If you really want to be included, you know I’ll back you one hundred percent but that’s Boden’s call. Not mine.”

“Don’t worry,” Shay tells him. “I plan to take it up with Boden too. I may not have liked how I got the promotion but I have it now and I’m gonna make it mean something.”

He nods and grins fondly at her. “Go for it. Hey, have you heard from Brett lately?”

“Not since the end of shift,” Shay tells him. “Why?”

“I don’t know,” he says with a shake of his head. “I got a strange vibe off of her. I’m worried.”

“Well, between Boden’s lecture about Baby Morales and...um, _other_ things, she was definitely a little down,” Shay says vaguely. “I’m sure she just needs a little space. She’ll be fine tomorrow. You know her, she’s never down for too long.”

“Boden’s lecture?” Matt asks. “Was _that_ what the meeting was about? The baby?”

Leslie nods. “Yeah, he said we were getting too attached and, honestly, he was right. I let it go too far. As PIC, I should have reined us in sooner. So, she probably just needed a little time to herself to deal with that.”

“Yeah,” Matt half heartedly agrees. “Maybe.”

But deep down he still has a nagging sinking feeling in his gut. He hopes Shay’s right, but he can’t shake the idea that they’re both missing something.


	59. Push Me Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ambo faces a call that scares Shay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** I’ve had a crazy week and I’ve been burnt out most nights after work. I haven’t written another chapter of g/r/r yet but I’m posting anyway. I’m quickly burning through my lead and I’ll have to do something about that, but right now I don’t care.
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_"You can make me wait forever,_

_Push me away and tell me never,_

_I don't mind, no I don't mind it,_

_I would come back a thousand times."_

_-“1000 TImes” by Sara Bareilles_

******

Sylvie spent her 48 off keeping herself occupied. She went to the gym multiple times a day, deep cleaned the apartment, and even started to teach herself needlepoint. (because _why not_?) She did anything and everything she could to keep from thinking about Matt or the baby.

Her imagination took her to some extreme places. Like maybe Matt had his date and impulsively ran away with her for a couple of days? Like Ross and Emily on _Friends_. Maybe they were at some cute little bed and breakfast in the country watching a deer eat apples in a field. Or maybe DCFS had already taken custody of Baby Morales and left him in the care of some Ms. Hannigan inspired hag?

If she didn’t stay busy then that’s exactly where her thoughts tended to drift.

But now she’s back on shift which she _thought_ would be a good thing but she didn’t count on the calls being so slow to come in. She and Shay had gone for a coffee and now they sat in a random parking lot sipping their coffees and waiting for their next call. Sylvie hadn’t had a chance to talk to Matt yet but he looked much too happy. She didn’t want to hear about his date. Maybe that made her a horrible person, but she couldn’t help it.

Eventually, she’d force herself to sit and listen to him gush about the new woman in his life and she’d play along and be happy for him, but not _yet_.

She’s not prepared to play that game right now.

So, she avoided him like a coward. The worst part is, he noticed. She knows he noticed. She could see the disappointment on his face when she walked right by his quarters without a word, just a quick wave and a nod. Disappointing him felt worse, somehow, than thinking she’d missed her chance. How did that make sense? 

It didn’t. Nothing did.

Not anymore.

“So,” Shay says, leaning back in her seat. “What do you want for your birthday? I’m talking like, money is no object, ultimate wishlist?”

To have Matt all to herself and find Baby Morales’ father and _make him_ visit his son. But those were both pipe dreams at this point. Instead, she shrugged and picked at the cardboard sleeve on her to-go coffee.

“I don’t know,” she says. “Um, an actual stand for my record player? I’ve got it propped up on a couple of cheap crates and while it doesn’t look horrible...it’s not great either.”

Then again, it’s not like her record player was that expensive. It’s a cheap suitcase player. Great for travel but not made to be permanently on display.

“Hmm, I’ll think about it,” Shay tells her with a teasing smirk. “Anything else?”

“Bath bombs and bath salts are always sure fire winners with me.”

“Wow, I say ultimate wishlist and _that’s_ the best you can do?” Leslie goads. “You’re adorable, Farmgirl.”

_“61, take a sick person at 4321 Wilcox.”_

“Go, go,” Shay tells Brett before she leans into the radio on her shoulder. “61 to Main, en route.”

Sylvie speeds off to the address and what they find when they arrive isn’t what either of them expect. It looks like an abandoned warehouse. There’s no sign of anyone needing any help or anyone waiting for them to arrive.

“You sure this is right?” Shay asks her as she grabs the jump bag.

Sylvie gestures to the numbers scratched onto the door. “It says 43-21.” Sylvie glances around and yells when they still don’t see anyone. “Hey! Is anybody there?”

A guy appears at the doorway as soon as she calls out.

“Did you call for an ambulance, sir?” She asks.

“Yeah, come inside,” he says as he gestures them in.

She follows immediately, too focused on the job to notice Shay trying to get her attention until it’s too late.

The minute they step inside he turns on them with a gun aimed at Sylvie’s chest.

“Drop your radios,” he orders. 

Sylvie nearly rolls her eyes. Not this _again_. She’s been held at gunpoint for medical care before and, truthfully, this guy is nowhere near as scary as the mob guys that kidnapped her and Pete. For a moment, Shay presses the talk button on her radio. Sylvie can tell she’s debating calling Main, but she doesn’t have time.

“Now!” the man yells. “He’s in there,” he says as he points to the next room. “Move!”

They both drop their radios and begrudgingly move through the doorway in front of them. It’s immediately clear what these two have been up to in this building. She and Shay have just walked into a meth lab. 

Fucking _fantastic_ , Sylvie thinks to herself. As if she doesn’t have enough going on already this asshole has to try and add to that with his meth lab and his threatening to shoot her. The further they get into this week, the more she thinks she should have taken furlough and gone back to Fowlerton for her birthday. She wouldn’t have been _here_ dealing with this bullshit.

There’s a man laying on the floor bleeding out from multiple stab wounds. They get a good look at him and both instantly know this man needs surgery. He won’t survive without it. But his buddy seems determined not to let them do their jobs. 

Goddamn it, she does not have time for this! This jackass is going to get his friend killed!

“I _said_ no hospitals!”

“Look,” Sylvie says, standing slowly. “This is just an anonymous sick person call. No one knows we’re here. Just let us transport him to the hospital!” The man glances between her and his friend, with the gun still clutched tightly in his hand. Sylvie thinks she might be getting through to him. “You called us for a reason. I know you don’t want him to die!”

“Shut up!” He exclaims aiming the gun at her again. “Get back to work!”

Oh, _fuck that_. She’s been here before and she will not spend the next several hours wondering exactly when she’s going to die. She will _never_ do that _again_.

“No.”

“Brett,” Shay scolds, sounding shocked and appalled.

“You can shoot me or you can let us go take him to the hospital so we can save his life,” Sylvie says, edging her way closer and closer to him. “Two choices! That’s it!”

She’s staring down the barrel of a gun and she’s eerily calm. She honestly can’t explain it except that she’s angry and fed up. The world is unjust and cruel to innocent people and she simply can’t fucking _take it_ anymore.

“Do it,” she dares him. “Do it or let us go.”

The man stares at her with the gun cocked for a tense moment before he abruptly turns and flees the building.

All the air escapes her lungs and with it her adrenaline. In an instant, she sees what she just did with painful clarity. What was she _thinking_?

She decides she’ll have time to dissect it later. Right now she has a patient in need of surgery. She returns to Shay’s side and they pull all the trauma dressing they can out of the jump bag.

As they start to dress his wounds, Shay gives her a deeply concerned glance. “What the _fuck_ was that? Do you have a _death wish_? Jesus Christ.”

“If we want this guy to get to Med alive he needs our full attention,” Sylvie says, pulling in a deep and calming breath.

“We’re coming back to this later and if I’m not satisfied with the answer, it _will_ be going in my report,” Shay warns her, firmly. “That was _not_ okay.”

******

They arrive at Med and while Shay’s filling out paperwork Sylvie spots Dr. Charles trying to get her attention. She sneaks away to meet him in a more secluded hallway. He gives her a breakdown of what he’s learned about Alicia Morales so far and it’s not much.

“So, she was here alone?” Sylvie asks. “No family, nothing?”

“I guess she followed a boyfriend to Chicago last year,” he tells her.

“Is he the father?”

Dr. Charles doesn’t answer her question. Instead, he provides alternative information. “The hospital has attempted to contact him, but he’s not calling back.”

So, basically, that’s a yes but the boyfriend won’t admit to it. Maybe if she could just talk to him…

“Well, what’s his name?” Sylvie asks.

Dr. Charles settles her with a flat look. “Can’t tell you that.”

So, what? That’s it? The trail just... _stops_?

Her shoulders slump and her gaze falls to the floor. God, could this week get _any_ worse? Can’t she do at least this _one thing_ , right?

Dr. Charles steps closer and lowers his voice. That genuine non-judgmental curiosity is on his face again and she knows the next question he asks will be a big one. 

“Why are you really coming by to see this baby?”

Yep, a big one.

Her eyes water as she remembers her phone call with her mother and the way Alicia Morales gripped her thigh in the back of the ambo. All she feels is pain. A _lot_ of pain. “I told you. I delivered him.”

The look on Dr. Charles' face tells her he clearly isn’t buying that answer. She’s still hoping he can help her somehow so she decides to delve a little deeper. He’s put a lot on the line to help her already. He deserves more of an answer than that.

“I know. I know you’re supposed to just drop the patient off, walk away. I’ve heard it a million times. But this one--” Her tears choke her voice and cut off her sentence. She can’t bring herself to finish it. She shrugs in lieu of saying what she really means. 

She sees herself in him. She sees what might have happened to her if no one wanted her. She can’t leave him to an unknown fate when she might have been in his shoes if the hand of fate had spun the wheel just a little bit differently. Thankfully, Dr. Charles takes pity on her.

“You know, that duty nurse--it’s weird, like clockwork. Every day at 1:00 p.m., she has a coffee break. You know, I see her outside on her bench. I would never, _ever_ advocate this course of action, but, you know, you pop the patient code into the computer and you never know what you might find out.”

Did he just tell her where, when, and how to break patient-confidentiality? Is he really still helping her?

“Right,” she replies, simply.

“But _then_ ,” he orders. “You walk away.”

“I walk away,” she repeats with a confident nod.

Dr. Charles leaves her alone in the hallway and Sylvie sneaks around to find the duty nurse they talked about. She knows just what to do now and exactly how to help Baby Morales.

******

Shay and Brett are uncharacteristically quiet when they step out of the ambo. Everyone notices.

Sylvie avoids him, the same as she did this morning, and heads directly inside. His brow furrows at her retreating back. He can’t figure it out. Did he do something? Is she mad at him? He can’t think of anything he might have done to offend her.

Shay zeroes in on him and crosses the apron to where he’s running Borelli through a few drills. 

“Can I talk to you for a second?” Shay asks.

Her face is wracked with concern and Matt is immediately worried. “Yeah, sure.”

He gives Borelli instructions on how to keep working and then steps out of earshot with Leslie. 

“What’s up?” He asks.

“You said you were worried about Brett and I brushed you off,” she recalls, chewing the inside of her cheek. “I shouldn’t have done that. Your instincts were right on. Something is _definitely_ wrong. Our last call, she...God, I don’t even know what to call it. There was a fucking crazy guy with a gun, threatening to shoot us if we didn’t save his friend _without_ taking him to the hospital. This guy was stabbed at least six times, no way we would have saved him without a hospital. And _she_ got in his face with the gun pointed at her head and told him to goddamn _do it_. That is a _direct quote_. She told this asshole to shoot her. I--I was both incredibly impressed and scared _shitless_. I mean, yes it was bad ass, but it was also _insane_. She could have died and I swear to god, Casey, it looked like she didn’t give one single fuck.”

The visual of Sylvie with a gun in her face makes him irrationally angry, but the idea that she challenged this guy to shoot her and genuinely didn’t seem to care if he would -- well goddamn -- that _terrifies him_. 

“That doesn’t sound like her,” Matt says as the concern in his expression quickly matches Shay’s.

“No, it doesn’t. I agree. If I hadn’t witnessed it myself I wouldn’t have believed it,” Shay replies with a shake of her head. “I told her we would talk about it later but I’m honestly at a loss for how to approach it.”

“Do you want me to try to talk to her first?” he offers. He’s not exactly sure how to approach it either, especially since Sylvie seems to be avoiding him at all cost.

“Could you? You two are so close and I trust you to tell me if it’s something serious. You have good judgement and you’re great with your guys on Truck. I really don’t want to take my concerns to Boden. He’s already talked to us once and she’s too good to have two strikes with him. Besides, we all have those calls that get to us, you know? I mean I’ve definitely been there.”

He nods. “I have too. Yeah, okay. I’ll see what I can do. If I can ever get her alone. She seems pretty determined to avoid me lately.”

“Start with telling her you didn’t go on your date with bar-crawl chick,” Leslie advises with a smirk and a wink. “Something tells me that’ll fix it.”

He’s not sure what that means but he’ll try anything at this point. He heads back to Borelli to tell him to pack it up, when a call sounds from the direction of the Firehouse.

_“Truck 81, Squad 3, Ambulance 61. Elevator call. 336 North State Street.”_

Guess he’ll have to talk to Brett later.

They reach the hotel and the manager informs them there’s a family of three stuck in the express elevator. They’ve been there for two hours with the car stopped on the 25th floor. There’s not another opening until the 30th. They take the stairs to the 30th floor and assess the situation. The car’s about 50 feet down. As they’re checking on Squad’s ETA, Mouch and Otis get in touch with the family and find out the little girl is having an asthma attack and they don’t have her inhaler.

It makes the rescue that much more urgent.

Matt thinks they can send Herrmann down to go through the top hatch. But when Severide arrives he points out there’s a cable sitting on the top of the car, blocking the hatch. Now they have to go in through the side. He and Severide quickly improvise a plan.

Take off the side panel, make a bridge using a couple of planks from a rescue car to the stuck car, and use a pike pole for a handrail. Walk the family across. Granted, they’ll be 300 feet up but that’s what they’ve got. They have no other choice but to use it. He brings Borelli with them for the educational experience.

They all head back to the otherside of the building to catch the rescue car. The paramedics come with them. He makes his way down the hall, side by side with Sylvie, carrying the IV bag for her as she juggles the Oxygen tank. He knows this isn’t the time to talk but it’s the most she’s acknowledged him in at least 72 hours.

“Hey,” he says quietly, so the others don’t hear. “Are we okay?”

She looks up distractedly and nods. “Yeah, we’re fine.”

“Are you sure? Because I sort of get the impression you’ve been avoiding me.”

“I--” she looks up at him with a stressed wrinkle in between her brows. “I’ve just been going through some things. We’re okay, Casey, I promise.”

He nods. He can tell it’s not the whole truth but it’s the most truth he’s going to get out of her right now. He’ll take it. “Glad to hear that, but I, um, I wanna talk to you later, okay? Back at the house?”

She bites her lip and for a second he thinks she might refuse. In the end, she smiles weakly at him. “Sure, when we get back.”

“First thing?” He asks.

She nods, though she looks like it’s the last thing she wants to do. “First thing.”

He’s going to find out what ‘things’ she’s been going through even if it takes him the rest of shift. She cannot make a habit out of what she did on 61’s last call. Reckless moves like that are what get people killed and he’s lost enough people already. He won’t lose her _too_. 

They reach the second elevator bay, where Ambo left the stair chair, and he and Sylvie trade off. She takes the IV bags and he takes the portable oxygen tank. 

“Be careful,” she instructs as the doors to the rescue car open.

She’s one to talk, is what he _thinks_ but what he _says_ is, “Always.”

It’s the most _them_ interaction they’ve had in days. It all of a sudden strikes him just how _keenly_ he’s missed her. He knows the conversation waiting for them back at the Firehouse is a tough one but a part of him can’t wait. He’ll finally be alone with her again and it’s been far too many days since they’ve been alone.


	60. Talk to You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt and Sylvie finally talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** I finally finished another chapter! Yay! Which means you guys get a chapter! I wanted to have this posted earlier but my pup decided she needed to sit in my lap for a while, preventing me from editing or posting -- lol. 
> 
> Anyway, happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_"When everything is wrong I'll come talk to you,_

_You make things alright when I'm feeling blue._

_You are such a blessing and I won't be messing,_

_With the one thing that brings light to all of my darkness."_

_-“My Best Friend” by Weezer_

******

The rescue goes exactly as they hoped. The guys get to the little girl and her family and walk them all safely across to the rescue car. Sylvie and Shay take the girl and her parents to Med while Truck and Squad stay to clean up and head back to the house.

While Sylvie waits for Shay to finish up her paperwork, she stands next to her and pointedly clears her throat.

Shay looks up and lifts a brow at her. “Yes?”

“Um, I know I agreed to let the baby thing go, but...do you think Antonio would do you a pretty big favor?”

“What kind of favor?” Shay asks warily.

“I found out who the baby’s father is,” she tells her nervously. “And I need to know where to find him -- just to talk! I promise.”

Shay grins at her, looking slightly impressed. “And how did you come by this information?”

“I’ve been sworn to secrecy,” Sylvie answers with a tiny sly grin. “But I promised after I got it that I would walk away. And I am more than willing to do that but I need to talk to this guy first. I have to try. You know?”

Shay sighs in resignation and nods. “Okay, fine. We’ll call Antonio after I finish here.”

Sylvie beams at Shay and rushes her with a grateful hug. “Thank you! I know I don’t deserve it after what I did on that last call, but _thank you_. I need this. You have _no idea_.”

“If it helps get you out of this funk you’ve been in the last couple of shifts then I’m happy to help,” Shay says as she returns the hug. “All you had to do was ask, Brett.”

It might be a little too late, but she sees that now. If she would have told Leslie about Dr. Charles from the beginning then she wouldn’t have had to struggle with this all alone. She _chose_ not to ask for help and that was the _wrong_ choice.

Antonio helps them track down the father and gives them the address of his usual pick up basketball game. Sylvie makes Leslie stay in the ambo while she goes to talk to the father. Leslie is pissed and ready to tear the guy a new one for abandoning his girlfriend and unborn child in the first place. But Sylvie knows that won’t help them or the baby. Everyone deserves a second chance. Even dirtbag deadbeats.

She talks to him and he doesn’t seem to care. Sylvie begins to think it was all a waste of time and for all her trying Baby Morales is still going to end up in the hands of DCFS. Shay drives back to the house. Sylvie’s not in the mood. Shay gives her a hug and squeezes her shoulder as they step out of the rig.

“You’re not gonna try and get yourself shot on another call, are you?” Shay asks her with a parental glare.

“No, I’m not. That was momentary insanity. I promise.”

“Good,” Shay says, hugging her again. “I need you, partner. Don’t you forget it.”

“Likewise,” Sylvie assures her.

She’s barely made it into the house when Matt appears at her side with a stern expression, reminding her that she promised they’d talk first thing. She knows what he wants to talk about. His _date_. God, does she ever _not_ want to hear about his date. But he’s her friend and as his friend she should hear him out. He deserves that.

She follows him to his quarters and he shuts the door behind her.

“So, we haven’t talked in a little while,” Matt points out as he leans against his desk. “You missed a lot over the last few days.”

“Oh yeah?” She asks, forcing herself to play along. “Like what?”

“I _almost_ went out on a date.”

She sits up a little straighter at those words. “Almost?”

Does that mean he didn’t go? Was he still going to go? Did he back out or did she? Suddenly, Sylvie was dying to know exactly what happened. A big change from a moment ago when she was dreading it.

“I got her number so on a bar crawl a while back and she seemed great but then Stilettos happened so I never called. I saw her again yesterday morning and convinced myself it was a sign. Like it was some magical opportunity I couldn’t pass up, which I partially blame you for. Your faith in the world is rubbing off on me,” Matt tells her with a teasing smirk. “So, I asked her out and then regretted it several hours later. Don’t get me wrong, she still seems great but…”

“But what?” Sylvie asks sitting down on the end of his bunk. 

“But I was forcing that connection, _making_ it happen, and...I don’t need to do that. I’m ready to date, but that doesn’t mean I have to date _just anyone_. You know?” He pauses and shakes his head at himself. “Is that ridiculous?”

“No,” she answers. “That’s not ridiculous. You want what you want, Matt. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

Wow, she should really follow her own advice.

“Thank you,” he says as he crosses the small room to sit next to her on the bed. “Well, that’s what’s been going on with me. What’s been going on with _you_?”

“I don’t know where to start,” she says honestly. She feels like she’s been emotionally wrung out, like a wet dish towel, all week long.

“You could start with Ambo’s last solo call,” Matt replies pointedly.

She sighs, feeling guilty and embarrassed. “Shay told you about that?”

Of course she did.

“She’s worried about you,” Matt tells her. “I am too, actually. Did you really tell someone to shoot you?”

“It was either shoot me or let that man die,” Sylvie tells him, anxiously. “I didn’t see any other way out, and I’m _tired_ of being helpless. I can’t stand by and let people suffer, drug dealer or otherwise.”

“Otherwise being a baby with no name in the NICU?” He asks, knowingly. “If you were struggling so much with it why didn’t you come and talk to me about it? We’ve all had those tough calls we can’t let go, Sylvie. And you _know_ I want to be there for you as much as you’ve been there for me.”

Tears prickle her eyes and she shakes her head, remembering how alone she felt in her apartment the other night. “I _wanted_ to. All I’ve wanted for at least two days now is to talk to you.”

“What stopped you?” He asks with his sincere blue gaze trained on hers.

“I don’t know,” she lies. 

She does know. The idea that he might confide in her about some other woman kept her away from him. She chose to suffer alone so she could avoid hearing about his date. His date that didn’t happen as it turns out.

“Sylvie,” he says in a firm scolding voice. “I think you do.”

She bites her bottom lip and decides to skip past all the preamble and dive right into what’s been bothering her. “I was adopted,” she announces. “Have I ever told you that?”

“No,” he says quietly.

“It’s not...it’s not a secret or anything. I’ve always known. My brother’s adopted too and my parents just never believed in keeping that from us. They said it didn’t matter how we became a family, only that we chose to be one,” she tells him with a soft smile. “No one in town really asked about it either. It didn’t feel unusual to me when I was little. It just... _was_. And we definitely never lacked for love in our family. I never felt like I was missing out on much.”

She feels Matt’s warm smile before she ever meets his eyes.

“That sounds... _nice_ ,” Matt muses. “Growing up knowing that your family _chose_ to love you. I like that. I always felt a little like an obligation for my parents, especially as a teenager. I’m glad you never felt that way.”

“I was lucky in a lot of ways,” Sylvie agrees as she reaches over and takes Matt’s hand. She squeezes his hand in an unspoken apology. Someday she wants to hear more about his childhood. He never really talks about it. “That’s not to say my family didn’t face our fair share of struggles but I’ve never doubted how much my parents love me. That’s for sure. It’s just as I got older, I started to wonder...why didn’t my birth parents want me? Why hadn’t they tried to find me?” She feels herself start to choke up a little as she continues. “Did they even care about me at all? I’ve asked myself questions about them my whole life and I have no one to answer them for me. It _hurt_ some days -- like there was a hole in my identity that would never be filled. Like I’d spend my entire life searching for a missing piece I’d never find.”

His grip tightens on hers and she notices his other hand fisting and flexing. As if he wants to take some sort of action but doesn’t know what or how.

“And that’s from someone who was lucky enough to spend every second of her life with people that love her,” she says, thoughtfully. “I had people who came for me, even if they weren’t my blood. This baby boy…”

A tear finally escapes and rolls down her cheek. “He has no one. If DCFS takes custody then he’ll have all of those thoughts and doubts and there’ll be no one there to love them away. He doesn’t deserve that. I mean he’s a week old! It’s like he’s being punished for simply being born. It’s unfair and it felt like...every time I tried to help I hit a roadblock. I only knew Alicia for the last few moments of her life but I can’t imagine she’d want her son to grow up not knowing how excited she was to meet him. She was worried about him until the very end, Matt, and now she’s not here to look out for him.”

“So, naturally, you feel like you have to?” He asks with a soft smile. 

His eyes are glistening just like hers when she smiles bashfully at him. “If I don’t then who will?”

He shakes his head at her with a look of wonder. “You’re amazing, Sylvie Brett. Just when I think I know how giving you are you prove me wrong. You care more about perfect strangers than anyone else I’ve ever met.”

“According to Boden, that’s exactly what I shouldn’t do,” Sylvie says with a watery laugh.

“I respect the hell out of Boden. I really do,” Matt tells her. She can tell he means it too. His admiration is all over his face. “But he’s not always right. Not even he walks away one hundred percent of the time. I’m not saying you should make a habit of letting a call get to you this deeply, but...sometimes the rescue doesn’t stop when the call ends. How can we call ourselves first responders if we don’t occasionally advocate for people who can’t advocate for themselves, right?”

“Right,” Sylvie agrees as she smiles fondly at him. They haven’t solved anything and already she feels better just having talked to him. 

She should have done this a long time ago.

“So, what are we gonna do about it?” He asks her.

She couldn’t suppress her smile if she tried. “We?”

“I’m your back up whenever you need it, Sylvie. Always,” he promises with a reassuring smile. “What’s next?”

She sighs as she remembers her conversation with the baby’s father. “I’m not sure there’s anything else we can do. I tracked down the baby’s father and I tried to talk to him, but...I don’t have much faith he’ll come through.”

“Maybe he’ll surprise you,” Matt says hopefully, squeezing her hand and pulling it into his lap.

She’s about to disagree when there’s a knock at the door and Shay barges in. Matt releases her hand and Sylvie scoots several inches away. Shay’s been teasing her enough lately, she doesn’t need any more ammunition.

“I thought you might be in here,” Leslie says as her eyes land on Sylvie. She glances between Casey and Brett suspiciously before speaking again. “Kendra called. She says we need to get to Med right away.”

“What? Why?” Sylvie asks as she stands from the bed.

“She wouldn’t say. She said by the time she explained it ‘the moment’ would be over. Whatever that means,” Shay replies. “Let’s go, partner.”

Sylvie nods. “Right behind you.”

When she turns back to face Matt, he’s standing too. She waits until Shay’s walked around the corner before she reaches up and wraps Casey in a tight hug. He reciprocates without a single moment’s hesitation.

“Thank you, Matt. You’re the best backup a girl could have. I’m sorry I didn’t come to you sooner.”

“I am too,” he says truthfully. “I could have been helping you with this all along if you had. I hate that you dealt with this all alone.”

She lets herself lean into his arms for a few more moments. She takes in the scent of him -- a strange mix of sawdust, smoke, and sweat. She shouldn’t enjoy it as much as she does. “Next time, I won’t,” she promises, uttering her words against his shoulder.

Finally, she forces herself to pull away. Shay’s waiting for her.

“I’ll see you when I get back.”

He nods. “Unless we get a call, I’ll be waiting right here.”

She has no doubt he means it. Matt’s always exactly where he says he’ll be.

******

Shay and Brett get back after everyone else has changed out. 

The second Sylvie steps out of the driver’s side she looks for him. He watches from a distance for a moment as she swivels her neck from left to right until she _finally_ catches his eye.

She beams brightly at him and practically bounces as she walks.

“You were right,” she says as she approaches. “The father totally surprised me.”

His brow furrows but his smile doesn’t move. “What does that mean?”

“Kendra called us because the dad showed up to see the baby!” Sylvie tells him with an elated expression. “ _And_ he has a name! It’s Alex! How cute is that? I mean what a perfect way to start the day before my birthday! Don’t you think?”

“Congratulations,” Matt tells her with a proud grin. “I’m glad you convinced him but I’m not surprised. You can pretty much do anything you set your mind to. I’ve known you long enough now to know that.” He barrels through her blush, not giving her an opportunity to brush off his compliment. “Speaking of doing anything you set your mind to.” His eyes quickly meet Shay’s across the app floor and she grins. This is the moment their surprise party plan begins and she knows it. “I have a favor to ask.”

“Okay,” Sylvie says, crossing her arms over her chest and focusing her crystal blue gaze on his.

He falters for a moment as he gets distracted by the renewed energetic sparkle in her eyes. It’s a beautiful thing to see her mood so drastically improved from just a couple of hours ago.

“I, uh, well, I’ve seen your work on repainting cabinets and since I helped you with yours I think it’s only fair you repay the favor,” Matt suggests with a smirk. “I have an indoor remodel and I need help getting started on the cabinets. I was thinking maybe you might want to--”

“Yes!” She exclaims before he finishes his question. “Sorry. You were going to ask me to help right? Because I’d _love_ to. After the last 24 hours I could use the stress relief.”

He laughs at her eagerness and nods. “I was going to ask you to help. Pick you up at your place in a couple of hours?”

She nods and grins. He wonders if she’s as excited for a bit of one on one time as he is. 

“You’re on,” she tells him with a wide teeth-baring smile. “This is gonna be fun.”

Well, he certainly hopes so or else they’re in for a _long_ day. He’s been asked to keep her busy and that’s just what he plans to do.


	61. I Surrender

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brett and Casey get some overdue one on one time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** I finished another chapter! Yay! Now I get to post one!
> 
> Also, this is where my timeline diverges from the show a little. Season 4 never had a time jump. It just seemed like summer never happened. And since my changes mean I can’t use 4x04 at all I decided to take advantage of that. 
> 
> Last chapter was the end of 4x03 and this chapter starts my summertime plot that’s NOT based on any episodes. We’ll pick back up with 4x05 when August rolls around. Right now, we’re in early June (when I imagine Sylvie’s birthday is) and we’ll go through July and August before we catch back up to S4.
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“Well, baby, I surrender,_

_To the strawberry ice cream,_

_Never ever end of all this love._

_Well, I didn't mean to do it,_

_But there's no escaping your love."_

_-“Accidentally In Love” by Counting Crows_

******

Matt shows up at her place at around ten, as promised. Sylvie’s nervous as hell. She shouldn’t be. It’s _Matt_. But it’s the first time she and Matt have been _truly_ alone since she stopped denying her changed feelings. Everything’s _different_ for her and she’s not sure how to act. 

She decides to take it one step at a time. First, she dresses for painting and sanding. Old ripped jeans, a t-shirt that’s already covered in paint streaks, and sturdy closed toes shoes. She almost feels like she’s dressed for farm chores. All she needs is a pair of workman’s gloves and she’d be all set for repairing fences and cleaning out the barn.

The next thing after that is answering the door when Matt arrives. She smiles prettily as she shoulders her bag and steps out the door to meet him. She locks the door and then turns to verbally acknowledge him, trying to avoid an anxious gulp as her eyes clash against his.

“Hi,” she says, lamely.

“Hi,” he replies with a crooked grin. “You look ready to get to work,” he says as he scans her from head to toe.

“Absolutely,” she agrees, willing herself not to blush while his eyes linger over her. “I need this.”

“Well, let’s go then,” he says, smiling in amusement and gesturing to his truck. 

He opens the door for her when they reach it and she nods in thanks. “What a gentleman.”

He shrugs modestly. “I try.”

He walks around to the other side and gets in the driver’s seat. 

As he starts the truck, he speaks. “Since I’m not paying you, I thought I would buy you lunch and then take you out to dinner tonight?”

His voice shakes slightly as he asks and she bites her bottom lip to hold back an eager smile. She _thinks_ he sounds nervous like her and she wonders if that means anything. 

“Oh, no, you don’t have to,” she tells him. “I owe you for helping me so—“

“I know I don’t have to,” he says, cutting off her attempt to give him an out. “But I _want_ to. Plus, it’s your birthday tomorrow. We can celebrate a little early. Come on, my treat.”

Dinner alone with Matt? That feels an awful lot like a date. Does he want it to be a date? _She_ wants it to be a date. She knows that for sure.

“Okay, yes, you can buy me lunch _and_ dinner,” she agrees.

“Great,” he says with a bright smile. “That’s settled then.”

He pulls away from the curb and heads toward the site where they’ll be working today. She helps him unload everything and then they start setting up. She sets down the cans of primer and paint and then looks at the color sample on the top of the can curiously. What she finds is a dated avocado green. Her grimace is obvious and immediate.

Matt laughs and nods. “Yeah, that was my reaction too. But it’s what the client wants. And to be fair, it’s in the same shade family as the tile backsplash they’ve picked out. It might look better once it’s all put together.”

“Maybe,” she replies with doubtful narrowed eyes. “I’ll reserve judgement until then. But right now all I can see is an orange, yellow, and green 1970s style kitchen.”

He winces. “With some ugly ass wallpaper?”

“Yes!” She exclaims. “The kind that gives you a headache if you stare at it too long.”

“I would _never_ let a client do that,” he assures her with a mirthful grin. “I may not be a decorator but even I know better than that.”

She feigns wiping sweat from her brow and chuckles. “Well, that’s a relief.”

Her nerves are slowly easing off. No matter how she feels about him, he’s still Matt. His presence has always felt safe and reassuring. Crush or not that won’t change. 

They get to work on sanding the cabinets and fall into comfortable silence. There’s no pressure to fill it with small talk or idle chatter. Just working side by side feels like enough.

The goal is to sand, fill, and put on the first coat of primer today. Getting started on a job like this takes the longest. After that first coat of primer, most of the work involves waiting on paint to dry.

“So,” Matt asks, after the first half hour of sanding has gone by. “You didn’t want to go home for your birthday?”

She shrugs and looks over at him thoughtfully. “It’s an 8 hour round trip. I could have made it I guess but for it to be worth it I’d have to leave right after shift and then head back just in time to start shift and that just felt like a lot for 40 hours of family time, you know? Besides, I’ve got furlough I’ve yet to use. It would be a better use of time to go visit them later in the summer and stay for several days. I do miss my parents, though,” she confesses. “A lot. I try to talk to them on the phone once or twice a week but...I don’t know, I miss their faces.”

“I like that you're close to your parents,” Matt tells her honestly. “I don’t see my mom much these days. I mean, hell, it took years for Christie and I to start to feel like family again. I don’t know if that will ever happen with mom.” He pauses and then watches her as she continues to sand a cabinet door. He looks apprehensive as he continues— as if he doesn’t really want to ask his next question. “Has anybody told you about my family? I know no one talks to _me_ about it but I assume they talk to each other sometimes.”

She shakes her head and smiles softly at him. She tries not to show how much she’s _dying_ to know. She wants him to tell her when he’s ready. She can tell by how quiet everyone at 51 is on the subject that whatever happened is a delicate subject.

“No. Honestly, no one’s mentioned it to me and I’ve always assumed you’d talk to me about it when you felt the time was right,” she replies with a shrug before meeting his eyes with a reassuring gaze. “I know _you_ , Matt. Where you came from is a part of who you are, sure, but it doesn’t change who I know you to be so, while I’m curious, I can wait.”

“And if I think the time is right _now_?” He asks, looking bolstered by her words. 

He looks less embarrassed and she feels pride bubbling up in her chest. Her words did that. They mattered to him in an obvious way. She’s never enjoyed seeing that more in another person than she enjoys seeing it in Matt. Being important to Matt feels like an accomplishment. He’s very private and his walls don’t come down often, but he lets _her_ in. It’s gratifying to say the least.

“Then I’d be willing and eager to listen,” she assures him.

“My mom spent 15 years in prison,” he says, dropping that knowledge as if dropping a bomb. She starts to reply but he holds up one finger and asks her to wait. “For killing my father.”

“Oh my god,” Sylvie replies in concern. “I’m so sorry. Matt, that’s awful.”

He sighs tiredly and nods his agreement. “Yeah, it is. I was sixteen and Christie was in college. We lost both parents that day, and each other for a while. It was a shit situation. I ended up in a group home basically until I turned 18. A lot of people assumed things about where I’d end up and who I’d be based on that alone. I don’t...I don’t like to think about it now that I’ve come out on the other side of it,” he tells her. 

He looks momentarily lost and grief stricken. She imagines that look on a much younger face and her heart aches for him. She can’t begin to fathom dealing with something like that when she was sixteen, and clearly he’s _still_ picking up the pieces over almost two decades later.

“It’s in the past and I feel like it should stay there,” he finishes, picking up his sanding sponge and getting back to work. “Looking ahead is a lot less painful than looking back.”

Sylvie nods and gnaws her bottom lip before she speaks. “I can understand that. Sometimes the best thing you can do is pack it away and move forward. I think that’s... _brave_ , Matt. Really.” 

There’s a moment where his eyes meet hers with a look of disbelief and awe. It’s as if her reaction amazes him. She doesn’t want to think about how other people may have reacted. There’s a reason he’s so blown away by her right now and it makes her angry to think that someone might judge him for trying to move forward with his life as best he can. 

Instead of dwelling on her resentment on his behalf, she decides to change the subject. “You said your mom _spent_ 15 years in prison? Meaning she’s not in prison anymore?”

He shakes his head and exhales as if the memories alone are exhausting him. “No, she got out on parole a couple of years ago. She lived with me for a while but I guess that wasn’t the life she wanted. I don’t know. She lives in Palm Springs now. With her old cell mate. She calls sometimes, but I think Christie and I remind her of what we all lost and she can’t deal with that.”

“You and Christie seem close now, though,” Sylvie says observantly, hoping that’s enough to make up for the distance between him and his mother.

“We are,” he replies, smiling slightly at the mention of his older sister. “That was probably the best result of mom’s parole. It brought me and Christie together again. I get to be a part of her and Violet’s lives and that means the world to me.”

He clearly values his family very much, what little he has left of it. There’s a pang in her chest. If anyone deserves all the unconditional love and support he can stand, it’s Matt Casey. Right then and there, she resolves to be that for him. As long as he needs it and in whatever form he wants — even if that’s only ever as a friend. 

Sylvie meets his anxious stare and gives him a grateful smile. “Thank you for telling me.”

He holds her gaze, his eyes filling with affection and relief as a sheepish grin spreads across his face. “I should have told you a long time ago. I trust you completely. I don’t know what stopped me.”

“You said yourself, looking ahead is a lot less painful than looking back,” she tells him. “Pain is hard to talk about even when we’re close to people. Besides, it’s your story to tell. You don’t owe anyone any explanations— especially not me. _Plus,_ I’m not going anywhere so I’ve got all the time in the world to learn about you, Matt Casey. I meant what I said earlier, I can wait.”

He looks like he wants to say something else, but he ultimately doesn’t and they both go back to working quietly. By the time they finish the sanding it’s time for a late lunch. They clean up a little and head out.

“Where should we go?” Matt asks her as they walk toward his truck.

“Somewhere I can get french fries,” Sylvie suggests with a grin.

Matt chuckles and nods. “Okay. Burger joint it is.”

He beats her to the passenger door and opens it for her yet again. Sylvie laughs softly and stops to stand in front of him. “You’re okay with me doing manual labor but opening my own door is unacceptable?”

“You got a problem with chivalry?” He asks, smirking crookedly at her.

“That’s what this is?” She asks as her smile broadens. “So, if this is what we’re doing now, am I gonna have to give you some sort of medieval favor the next time you run into a fire? Like a handkerchief or a ribbon or something?”

His amusement is clear on his face. She can tell he’s holding back a laugh. “Do you _have_ a handkerchief or a ribbon? Are those things that you keep stocked in the rig?”

“No,” she says, glancing skyward as she thinks. “But! I do have towels and gauze! That’s sort of similar, right?”

“Yeah, I’m not taking either one of those things into a burning building,” he says, letting his muted laugh break loose.

“I’ll keep thinking,” she replies with determination. “I’m gonna find something.”

He shakes his head as he grins down at her. “You do that. For now, though, you should probably get in the truck.”

They’re not quite late enough to miss the lunch rush so the place is still packed when they arrive. They stand in line to order and initially there’s ample space between them but it doesn’t take long for people to pack into lines like sardines. She was already getting antsy at the feeling of his body heat so close to hers but then he’s bumped by someone behind him. Matt shuffles trying to adjust his position and ends up with his chest pressed against her back. 

She assumes he’s standing closer to her to avoid stepping into a stranger’s personal space and, honestly, there’s nowhere else for him to go. She sucks in a breath and focuses on her breathing, which it turns out doesn’t help. All she ends up doing is getting a large whiff of sawdust and smoke. A fragrance so signature Matt that her entire body reacts to it. Between the accidental contact and the smell, she’s warm and flushed. Even as she tries to convince herself that it’s from the early summer heat she knows that’s a lie.

“Sorry,” he mutters, dropping his chin toward her ear.

Their close quarters means his words and his breath fan out over her neck, causing her flush to spread from her cheeks. She feels heat rising on the back of her neck and the tips of her ears and it doesn’t go away quickly either. By the time they reach the front of the line, she’s so red that she’s afraid to look at him. He’ll see right through her for sure.

She orders quickly and then leaves him to wait for their food while she searches for a table. She finds a small table with two chairs, by some miracle, and saves it. They’re surrounded by parties on all sides so when Matt joins her they have to pull their chairs as close to the table as they can.

His legs are quite a bit longer than hers so his knees bump hers accidentally but, to her surprise, he doesn’t move them. She looks up as he slides her food across the table to her and instantly spies the small pleased grin on his face. She aims one at him in return. If he doesn’t mind then she certainly doesn’t.

His paper tray of tater-tots sits in front of her fries. She snatches a tot quickly and pops it into her mouth. 

He mocks offense and pulls the tray away from her. “ _You_ said you wanted _fries_. Eat your fries and leave my tots alone.”

“Oh come on! It’s my birthday tomorrow, are you really not going to share?” She says, pouting her lips and batting her eyelashes at him.

He shakes his head and rolls his eyes in fond frustration. “Fine, but next time I’m getting an extra order for the table.”

_Next time_. Next time they’re alone and forced into close proximity in a neighborhood burger place? Does he plan on this happening more often? God, she hopes so.

“No arguments here,” she says as she grabs another tater-tot and smiles victoriously at him. “I win either way.”

******

Something is happening today. Something strange but sort of magical. 

They went back to the jobsite after lunch and it was as if the physical closeness they’d fallen into at the diner followed them there. The nervous tension they’d both been feeling during the first half of the day broke and the thin line that remained between platonic and something else entirely seemed to break with it. 

Matt didn’t let a single excuse to be near her or touch her pass him by and she noticed. It resulted in lingering looks and coy smiles. The work didn’t go as fast as Sylvie thought it would but that’s what happens when a person is distracted by a sexy contractor-slash-truck-lieutenant who keeps stopping to flirt with her.

She’s not sure what got into him today, or her for that matter, but she has no plans to put a stop to it. She admitted to herself what she felt for Matt and assumed it was one sided, but if she’s going to let his behavior be her guide then certainly today tells a different story.

They finish priming the cabinets and Matt takes her home. They have a couple of hours before dinner which is just enough time for her to clean up and get ready. He walks her to her door and his eyes scan her face, chuckling with a mirthful gaze.

“What?” She asks, cluelessly.

“You’re covered in dust,” he tells her. He reaches a hand out and swipes the pad of his thumb across her cheek.

She holds her breath as his hand lingers and the rest of his fingers brush the underside of her jaw. Her skin tingles after he pulls his hand away.

“Thanks,” she mumbles with a thick swallow. “So, what’s the dress code for dinner?”

“Um, nice,” he says as she watches him curl his fingers before shoving his hands in his pants pockets. “Cocktail attire I think is the proper term.”

Her eyebrows rise before her eyes narrow suspiciously at him. “Cocktail attire? Usually the places with cocktail attire need a reservation.”

He clears his throat, blushes, and then shrugs modestly. “I guess it’s a good thing I’ve got one then.”

“Hold on,” She says, pointing an accusing finger at him. She’s unable to wipe the giddy smile off of her face no matter how hard she tries. “If you have a reservation then...did you _plan_ this? You had the reservation so you used manual labor to get me to let you pay?”

“Guilty,” he admits as he anxiously rubs the back of his neck. He follows his nervous habit with a sheepish smile. “It worked, didn’t it?”

She laughs and shakes her head at him. “You know me way too well.”

“Not possible,” he tells her. “I think I still have a lot to learn about Sylvie Brett.”

His stare collides with hers and it’s intense. She wasn’t prepared for the way his cobalt irises capture her. She can’t seem to look away. He’s drifting closer, and he wasn’t that far away to begin with, so her mind immediately conjures up all the reasons he might be leaning in. The idea that he might kiss her causes her to subconsciously wet her lips. She’s kissed him before but this would be different. _They’re_ different. 

His phone chimes in his pocket and reality crashes down on them both. He halts his forward motion, clears his throat, and glances down at his watch.

“It’s getting late, we should...I mean _I_ should go,” he tells her. “I need to shower and change. I probably shouldn’t walk into a restaurant smelling like a lumber yard.”

She chuckles and does her best to hide her disappointment. “I don’t know, there are worse smells. Sawdust and lumber doesn’t seem that unpleasant to me.”

He laughs quietly and nods. “Good to know. I’ll be back in a couple of hours to pick you up.”

“I’ll try not to be late,” she tells him with a grimace. “But I make no promises.”


	62. Just Imagine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Casey takes Brett out for her birthday dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** I finished another chapter! Which means I can post one! Yay! In this chapter we continue Sylvie’s birthday celebration. Hope you guys like it!
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“I came here looking for another excuse,_

_To run away from something beautiful._

_It's like it's driving me closer to you._

_Every step back pulls me right back to you._

_Time stands still and it's only us._

_What we feel started way before we ever touched._

_Just imagine only us,_

_Yeah, you found me right before I'd given up.”_

_-“Strangers” by The Jonas Brothers_

******

Today has been strange. He feels a little like he’s trapped in a fantasy or a dream, but that can’t be because there’s a little too much reality in this fantasy. Like the fact that even _he_ can smell the odor of sweat following him around like a cloud. Or the terrible timing of Shay’s text, reminding him of what time they were due at Molly’s.

Otherwise, he feels a little like floating.

He’s not losing his mind. Sylvie’s been flirting with him. Touching him more often, leaning into him, and she was definitely flustered by their proximity to each other at lunch. Hell, she almost kissed him outside of her apartment just fifteen minutes ago. He’s certain of it.

He feels like he’s missing something. Yesterday he was convinced he’d friendzoned himself forever, but today has been different from the very start.

He can’t put his finger on what changed but _something_ did.

He’s trying not to question or overthink it. For once he wants to let go and have a little fun.

And being with Sylvie today has been _fun_ , despite the work.

“Hey,” Severide says as Matt steps through the apartment door. “How’s the distract-the-birthday-girl plot going?”

He smirks and throws his keys down on the counter. “A hell of a lot better than I anticipated.”

Severide smirks right back at him with an intrigued quirk of a brow. “What does that mean?”

“I’m not entirely sure yet,” he answers. “And I don’t want to jinx it. Plus, I’m running a little behind. I gotta shower and get ready for dinner. I’m picking her up in a little over an hour.”

He takes a quick shower and then, for the first time in a long time, stresses over what to wear. Which shirt in what color with which tie? Or is a tie too much? Just a dress shirt and a sports coat? Or is that too douchey? Oh Jesus, what was he thinking making a reservation somewhere that wasn’t casual? Shay never said he had to take her out to a _nice_ dinner. Just to keep her busy. He’s the one who took it that extra step. 

He overheard Sylvie and Stella gushing over a photo spread of a new restaurant in the common room last month before Shay came to him about planning for Sylvie’s birthday. He thought she’d want the reservation for her birthday even if he didn’t go with her. But then Shay approached him about a party and, as they firmed up their plans, it became clear Shay intended for Casey to be the one to spend the day with Sylvie. The closer her birthday weekend came the more nervous he became, and after such a _good_ day with her he’s worried something’s going to come along to ruin it.

He decides on blue. A blue dress shirt, black trousers, and a matching black sport coat. No tie. He’s too nervous for a tie. He’ll spend the night feeling like he’s being choked.

He gave himself a clean shave earlier, so he skips the cologne. His aftershave should be enough. As he steps out into the living room, he remembers the bouquet in the fridge. Nothing fancy, just a wildflower arrangement that made him think of her. He makes his way to the kitchen, passing Kelly as he sips a beer at the counter.

Matt points at him as he remembers something else. “Did you take my present by Molly’s like I asked?”

Severide nods. “I said I would and I did. Relax. Everything’s going according to plan. All you have to do is enjoy some alone time with your favorite person. And don’t try and tell me she isn’t your favorite person because we both know that’s bullshit.”

He grins to himself as he opens the fridge, tossing his next sentence over his shoulder. “It hadn’t occurred to me to deny it, actually.”

“Wow,” Kelly says with a teasing chuckle. “Progress. Did something happen?”

“I don’t know,” Matt says as he grabs the bouquet, shuts the fridge, and turns to face his best friend. “Today’s been _different_. It’s hard to explain because I’m not sure what changed but whatever it is feels... _hopeful_. And I wanna see where it’s going. No denials or excuses. No talking myself out of anything. Just playing it by ear. Like you said, all I have to do is enjoy it. Right?”

“Yeah, exactly,” Severide assures him. “You’ve got her all to yourself so just... _enjoy it_. Did you buy her flowers?”

“I--yeah, I mean it’s her birthday so, you know, a birthday bouquet seemed appropriate, yeah?”

Kelly nods and grins in approval. “Yeah. That’s a good call. Turns out you’ve got some moves after all. Who knew?”

Matt rolls his eyes and flips him off. “Whatever, man. I’ll see you at Molly’s later.”

Severide’s laughter follows Matt out of the apartment. That conversation with Kelly was exactly what he needed to get his head on straight again. He almost let his nerves get the best of him. Being nervous is okay, sure, but he wants to be equal parts nervous and excited and he almost lost sight of that while he was getting dressed.

He arrives at Sylvie’s just inside of two hours later. He knocks at her door and she answers shortly while putting in her second earring.

“Hi!” She says brightly. “I’m _almost_ ready, I swear!”

He gulps as the door fully opens and he gets his first head-to-toe glimpse of her. She’s wearing a silky navy dress with a slight plunging neckline and a skirt that stops at her knees. It’s trimmed along the top and the bottom in delicate black lace, somehow making it both daring _and_ conservative. On her feet are a pair of matching glittery stiletto pumps.

“Um, no rush,” he manages to say, though it obviously sounds strained. “Take your time.”

“Thanks,” she replies with an apologetic smile. She pauses and points to the flowers in his hand. “Are those for me?”

“Oh! Yes! We’re celebrating your birthday so I thought...I mean they’re nothing fancy—“

“Stop,” she tells him with an elated smile. “They’re beautiful, Matt. I love wildflowers. Thank you.” 

She takes them from him while giving him a hug. He feels the soft fabric of her dress under the palms of his hands. The fabric is thin. He can easily feel her warmth radiating through the dress. He knows from that brief night long ago that the dress is just as soft as her skin. For a moment, his brain starts down a dangerous path and imagines the satiny smooth dress _is_ her skin but he shuts that down as soon as possible. _Now_ is _not_ the time.

“I’ll just put these in some water,” she says as she pulls out of his embrace.

She walks off toward the kitchen and comes back a moment later with his flowers in a small glass vase. She places the vase on the coffee table and then grabs a tiny sparkling clutch. There’s a sheer black wrap on the back of the arm chair so he grabs it for her and holds it up to place around her shoulders.

She smiles shyly at him and ducks under it, allowing him to place it on her. His calloused fingers brush against her arms and he swears he sees goosebumps rise on the back of her neck as he steps away to open the door.

“After you,” he says as he motions for her to lead the way.

They step outside and she locks the door behind her. Once they’re in his truck and headed down the road she angles herself toward him with a curious expression. “So, where are we having dinner?”

“A restaurant I heard you and Stella talking about last month. Sunset?”

She gasps and reaches across the cab of the truck to grab his shoulder. “No! Seriously? You got a reservation at _Sunset Steakhouse_? How did you pull that off? They’ve been full for at least a month!”

He chuckles and hopes what he says next isn’t too humiliating. “And I’ve had the reservation for about a month.”

Her smile widens into the fullest, brightest smile he’s ever seen from her and her cheeks take on a soft shade of pink. She looks thoroughly delighted with him. Okay, so maybe it won’t be humiliating at all. “You are quite possibly the sweetest guy on the planet. You heard Stella and I talk about it _one_ time and then booked a reservation?”

“I knew your birthday was coming up and I thought you could use it even if I didn’t end up going with you,” Matt admits with a modest shrug. “But then--” He stops and remembers not to mention the party waiting for her at Molly’s. “--then I thought I could get your help with the cabinets and use it as payment.”

She laughs quietly and squeezes his arm before she pulls her hand away. He misses her touch almost immediately.

“That was _sneaky_ but I love it,” Sylvie tells him. “It’s not even technically my birthday yet and this is already the best birthday I’ve ever had.”

“Maybe hold off on that declaration until after dinner?” He suggests with a pleased chuckle.

“Nope, because the dinner isn’t what’s making this the best birthday ever,” Sylvie tells him.

He glances over at her as they’re stopped at a red light. “No?”

She shakes her head. “No.”

“Then what is?” He asks.

“ _You_ ,” she answers, meeting his gaze head on with her elated crystal blue eyes. “You’re what’s making this my best birthday ever, Matt. Not dinner.”

“Yeah, well,” he says, trying to at least appear to brush off her comment. Although, if he’s honest her words are going to reverberate in his head and his heart for the rest of the night. “After all the shit we’ve been through this year, you deserve to have the best birthday imaginable.”

“True,” she agrees. “I’ll remember that sentiment for August and _someone else’s_ birthday.”

“Nah,” he says, waving his hand dismissively as the light turns green again. “I just want a cookout, a few beers, and quality time with my friends. Simple, easy, relaxing.”

She nods and looks genuinely thoughtful. “I think we can make that happen when the time comes.”

The image of a cookout with his friends all around and Sylvie tucked into his side sounds like paradise to him, but he doesn’t take it too much farther. They’re going out to dinner tonight as _friends_ \-- as far as he knows anyway -- and there’s no use getting ahead of himself.

******

The restaurant looks luxurious with a vibe of old Hollywood glamour. There were chairs and booths upholstered in velvet, art deco fixtures, and rich jewel tones everywhere. He and Sylvie are sitting in a three person booth in a curved alcove. Originally, they’d sat them opposite from each other but with the piano being beside their booth it was hard to hear and so Sylvie had moved into the corner next to him.

Just like at lunch, their knees knock under the table but neither move. Since their table is burrowed away from the main light fixtures, the candle light gives them what little dim lighting they have. And with the piano forcing them to lean into each other to be heard, the dinner has a much more intimate mood than he anticipated. 

He can feel Sylvie’s breath on his neck and smell her perfume every time she edges closer to speak.

By the time they finish their entrees, she’s sitting as close to him as she can get and he doesn’t mind one damn bit.

They talk and laugh and, he’s pretty sure, they even flirt. With every passing moment, dinner feels more and more like a _date_ even if they never called it that and even if it’s been far too long since he’s been on one.

The waiter comes back with a small complimentary birthday dessert for Sylvie, complete with a candle, and the bill. Matt sticks his card in the folio and hands it to the waiter without looking. He truly doesn’t want to know how much this is setting him back. Whatever the cost it’ll be worth it.

“Make a wish,” Matt urges her as he nods toward the lit candle stuck in the tiny round piece of chocolate cake.

Her eyes find his and she shrugs with a helpless laugh. “I don’t know what to wish for. Right now, I kind of feel like I have everything I want.”

As gratifying as that compliment feels, that can’t be the entire truth. “Come on,” he says, nudging her knee with his. “There has to be something.”

She sinks her teeth into her bottom lip, drawing his attention to it against his will, and then nods. “Okay, maybe there’s _one_ thing,” she admits. She smiles coyly at him before closing her eyes, taking a deep breath, and blowing out the candle.

“So?” He asks. “What was it?”

She smacks his arm and glares playfully at him. “You know I can’t tell you! It won’t come true!”

“I’ll get it out of you eventually,” he swears with a teasing grin. “You’re terrible at keeping secrets.”

“I will tell you if and when it actually comes true,” she tells him. “Not a moment sooner.”

“We’ll see about that,” he says with a chuckle. 

His phone dings, alerting him to a text, and he automatically winces. _Shit_. What time is it? How long have they been at dinner? He glances at the time and then his texts. The text is Shay asking him where they _hell_ they are and the time is...nearly forty minutes later than it should be. Oh, _fuck_. He’d lost track of time and now they were late to Sylvie’s party.

He doesn’t want to tip Sylvie off to the party by rushing her so he texts Shay an apology and tells her they’re finishing dessert. They’ll be on their way shortly. He gets his card back from the waiter and they finish the last few bites of her cake. (She claimed she was too full to eat it all by herself. He’s seen her eat half a gallon of ice cream during one of her particularly low nights right after breaking up with Pete so he knows that’s not true, but he pretends to believe her.)

They’re pulling up to Molly’s, which is thankfully on the way back to Sylvie’s place so she’s yet to suspect a thing, when she sighs sadly and frowns at him from the passenger seat. “I’m not ready to go home yet. I don’t want tonight to be over.”

He smirks and pulls over to park along the curb. “How about we delay it with a drink at Molly’s?”

She glances out the window, realizing where he’s brought them, and her entire mood visibly lifts. “Oh! Yes! I would love that.”

“Then your wish is my command,” he tells her with a wink. 

A wink. He _winked_. Man, he must be in a good mood if he’s _winking_. Honestly, tonight has gone above and beyond his wildest dreams. It’s left him hopeful that someday there could be more between him and Sylvie. Yeah, sure, maybe he’s ready for that now and she isn’t, but that’s fine. He can wait. She’s seemed interested today. He wasn’t imagining the flirting or the almost kiss. He knows he wasn’t. He’s starting to feel like his time will come. He just has no idea when that time might be.

He texts Shay to let them know they’re on their way inside. Right now, he needs to focus on this party and leave whatever’s happening between him and Sylvie for later.


	63. Quicksand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 51 surprises Sylvie with a party at Molly's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** so, I finished another chapter. You know what that means. ;) You guys ready to find out what Matt got Sylvie for her birthday? Cause you’re about to find out!
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“Put your lips close to mine,_

_As long as they don't touch._

_Out of focus, eye to eye,_

_Till the gravity's too much,_

_And I'll do anything you say,_

_If you say it with your hands,_

_And I'd be smart to walk away,_

_But you're quicksand.”_

_-“Treacherous” by Taylor Swift_

******

Matt holds open the door to Molly’s and she grins at him.

“Are you really making this door thing a habit from here on out? Not that I’m complaining or anything.”

He chuckles and shrugs. “I might. There’s nothing wrong with a little extra politeness is there?”

She starts to answer him as she walks through the door but her words die on her lips. The minute she crosses the threshold she nearly jumps out of her skin. That’s what happens when a bar full of her firehouse family yells “Happy birthday!” all at once, catching her completely off guard.

Matt’s right behind her, though. He instinctively reaches out a hand to steady her when she nearly faceplants as a result of her surprise.

“What?” Sylvie asks, glancing from him to Shay as she stands at the front of the crowd. “What’s happening?”

She hears Matt’s low laugh in her ear before he speaks. “It’s a surprise party, Sylvie. You know what those are right?”

Her eyes well up with tears and she feels a huge smile overtake her face. She’s been smiling so much tonight that her cheeks are starting to hurt. “For—for me?”

“All for you, farmgirl,” Shay replies. “With a special farmgirl theme.”

Sylvie finally gets passed her shock enough to glance around the bar. There’s hay bales, scarecrows, and little miniature green tractor centerpieces on all the tables. She also notices there are _fewer_ tables and in the center of the bar is wide open floor space.

She laughs at the decor and points an accusing finger at Shay. “You know a farm isn’t all hay and tractors, right?”

“Eh, you’ve seen one farm you’ve seen ‘em all. Now, while you do look like a true _knockout_ , we need to get you properly dressed for the occasion,” Shay tells her as she steps closer. She pulls a cheap costume cowgirl hat from behind her back and pushes it down on Sylvie’s head and then shoves a pair of pointy toed brown cowboy boots into her arms. “Put those on and get a drink. We’ve cleared the floor for line dancing.”

“No!” Sylvie yells excitedly. “Are you _serious_?”

“It took some convincing but, yeah, I got Herrmann on board,” Shay replies with a smirk. “Thought you might like that.”

She throws her arms around Shay and hugs her tightly. “Like that? Oh my god, I _love it_! Thank you!”

“I’m gonna go get the music started,” Shay tells her as she pulls away from the hug and kisses her cheek. “Have fun, partner. You deserve it.”

She turns back to face Matt once Shay’s gone and slaps his shoulder gently. “You knew! You were my distraction, weren’t you?”

“Yes and no,” he admits with a shy smile. “I had the reservation before Shay came to me about throwing you a party, but once we started planning it turned into a good way to keep you off her scent. You’re not mad, are you?”

“Mad! No!” she replies, confused why he would even suggest it. “Matt, no one has ever thrown me a surprise party before! It was the best birthday ever before we pulled up to Molly’s but this just takes it to a completely different level. This is amazing! Thank you!”

She hugs him too and lingers just a little longer than strictly necessary but she’s loved spending time with him today. Everything felt so easy and right. She was nervous at first but that didn’t last very long. She never had to try too hard to have fun when she was with Matt. She simply _did_. She felt safe being herself with him and that isn’t an easy thing to find. She’s never felt the sort of instant comfort she feels with Matt with _anyone_ else. Not even Pete.

When she steps out of the embrace she keeps one hand on his arm. “Don’t move. I need the extra balance.”

He laughs but does as he’s told. “Am I your human hand rail?”

“For the moment, yes,” she tells him with a soft giggle. She takes off one glittery pump and replaces it with a boot and then removes and replaces the other as well. “There, all done. How do I look?”

“Like the cutest birthday cowgirl I’ve ever seen,” he replies with a mirthful glance and matching smile. “The _only_ birthday cowgirl I’ve ever seen, but that’s beside the point.”

The music starts up and she’s still holding her pumps and her wrap. Matt takes both from her and points toward the makeshift dance floor. 

“Go on,” he says. “I’ll find a chair for your stuff and order you a drink. What are you having?”

“A beer’s fine,” she tells him with a shrug. “I had plenty of wine at dinner. Thank you again, Matt.”

“It’s my pleasure, Sylvie,” he replies with a fond smile. “I told you, after the year we’ve had you deserve the best birthday possible.” He gives her a little friendly shove toward the dance floor and walks away.

She blushes and smiles the whole time she looks for a spot in the line. She ends up in between Shay and Stella.

“Okay, don’t shoot me if I’m wrong,” Stella says as she stumbles through a few steps. “But something seems to be happening between you and Casey tonight.”

“You think?” Sylvie asks her, hopefully. “I mean, today has basically been just me and him and it’s been _wonderful_. He’s so sweet and attentive and he makes me laugh--”

“Jesus, just jump him already,” Shay tells her with a laugh.

“But isn’t it weird that I went from thinking of him as my best friend to, I don’t know, feeling whatever I’m feeling now in such a short amount of time?” Sylvie asks them as the line rotates and turns.

“He wasn’t in a place where you _could_ have had feelings for him,” Shay reminds her. “He had to work through some shit. You were looking out for yourself while he was doing that. And now that he’s ready, you are too. It makes sense to me.”

“Me too,” Stella adds. “Girl, just go for it. He’s obviously into you too.”

She blinks at the back of Stella’s head as the line changes directions again. “What do you mean? It’s _obvious_? Because the first time I’ve seen anything is today. How long has it been obvious?”

“ _That’s_ a question for a certain Truck Lieutenant,” Stella tells her. “Not me.”

The party is wonderful, but a bit of a whirlwind. After that first dance she’s passed around the room, from Herrmann to Otis to Cruz until she finally stops at Boden. Someone she’d been meaning to speak with at the end of shift and just missed.

“Chief,” Sylvie says brightly. “Thank you for coming!”

“I show up for 51. Especially when there’s a party,” he says jokingly. “Happy birthday, Brett.”

“Thank you,” she repeats. “I also wanted to apologize for how wrapped up in that baby I became. I understand what you were trying to tell us now and everything with the baby is all settled. So, that’s over.”

“Glad to hear that,” he says. “What happened?”

“The dad showed up out of nowhere,” she tells him, fibbing slightly. “He took the baby home and he has a name and everything.”

“I’m glad you got some good news the day before your birthday then,” the Chief says kindly. 

“Me too,” she agrees. On impulse, she lunges forward and hugs Boden. 

It’s a quick hug, over as soon as it started but she couldn’t stop herself. She truly does appreciate the way he tried to look out for her and Shay. She’s lucky to work in Wallace Boden’s firehouse and she knows it.

She walks away from Boden and finally makes it back to Matt. He’s got a chair and a beer waiting for her. She sits next to him just in time for cupcakes to be passed around and for the whole bar to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to her. She blows out another candle and makes the same wish she made earlier, for good measure. 

Matt pokes her side and grins. “Are you still not telling me?”

“I can’t! Or it won’t come true and I _really_ want it to come true,” she tells him with a smirk.

There’s more dancing after the cake and Sylvie even gets Matt out on the floor with her, _once_. Despite the fact that line dancing is the kind of dancing he should enjoy. Everyone does the same move at the same time. All it requires is a little bit of rhythm. The same level of rhythm required for marching in parades which she _knows_ he’s done before.

Shay has them play a little game where she makes a statement about Sylvie and the people in attendance have to vote on whether or not it’s true. Matt, Stella, and—surprisingly—Severide all tie for the most correct votes. Severide swings by her table after and gives her a big hug, which she thoroughly enjoys.

“I don’t know why people are so surprised,” he tells her, sounding offended. “You’re my friend too!”

“Yes, I am,” she says with a nod. She leans toward him so only he can hear her. “And you’re dating my roomie, so you’re _super_ stuck with me.”

He laughs and whispers back. “If that’s how it works then I think you’re about to be _super_ stuck with me too. _And_ Shay.”

Wait, what? Does that mean what she thinks it means? Matt wants to date her? Oh God, she hopes so.

“It’s almost time to start wrapping this up,” Shay announces. “So, there’s just one thing left. _Presents_.”

Most of the house went in on a top of the line set of cookware. Something she definitely needed because her cookware is cobbled together from her mother’s hand-me-downs. She has a feeling Joe Cruz was behind the gift choice. He heard all about her cookware woes during Molly’s II. She makes another round through the bar after that, thanking everyone who had a hand in her gift.

After that she finds out, Severide, Stella, and Shay pooled their money for a separate gift. A certificate to a spa.

“You said bath salts never fail so we took that to the extreme,” Shay tells her with a smirk. “This isn’t just any spa.”

“No,” Stella says, smiling eagerly. “This is a place with therapeutic hot tubs and one of those salt rooms.”

“The three of us are going tomorrow,” Shay declares. “I’d invite Kelly since he pitched in but he thinks he’s too macho for a salt room.”

“I’m not sitting around wearing nothing but a robe in a room full of salt,” he states with a grimace. “That does not sound fun.”

“It sounds like _heaven_ to me,” Sylvie says before she hugs each of them. “I can’t wait! Thank you so much!”

She assumes that’s all there is and turns to sit back down but Matt clears his throat and stops her with a hand on her shoulder. 

“Hold on,” he says, smiling secretively. “There’s one last thing. From me.”

“You got me a present?” She asks, touched and thrilled. “On top of dinner?”

“I did,” he replies. “Just wait right here. I’ll go get it.” He taps Severide’s shoulder as he passes him. “Give me a hand?”

Severide nods and follows him, leaving Sylvie to wonder what he could have gotten her that requires two people to fetch it. The scene has the attention of the entire bar. They’re all just as curious as she is. The mystery isn’t really solved when Severide comes back alone with a tall single cabinet. There’s no door on it which leaves storage space open with three dividers. It’s been white washed and sanded to give it a well worn antique look. It’s exactly her style. Rustic yet delicate. Though she’s not sure why Matt thought she needed a cabinet.

So she continues to be confused and her brow stays furrowed until Matt emerges from the back with a wooden record player in his hands, whitewashed and sanded to match the cabinet perfectly. He sets the record player on top of the cabinet and the fit is seamless. It looks like one sturdy piece. Her hands cover her cheeks as a huge smile spreads over her mouth. Her cheeks truly are sore from so much happiness being crammed into one day. 

“Oh my god, Matt,” Sylvie says with obvious awe as she steps forward to get a closer look. “You did this?”

He nods. “I have speakers and matching speaker casings stashed at your place already, thanks to Severide and Stella. I just have to come by and get everything set up for you. Thought you might like to hear some of those records you’ve got in actual stereo sound. And there’s storage underneath so you don’t have to keep them in those cheap bins anymore either.”

Her eyes are watering and she feels ridiculous. It’s just a record player, but really it’s so much more than that. He put his own hard work and time into this gift and he did it all _for her_. She runs a hand over the top of the closed turntable. The surface is smooth and perfect. There’s not one single mistake. 

“I can’t believe you,” she says, shaking her head through happy tears. “This is gorgeous. Shay asked me the other day what I wanted for my birthday and something like this was at the top of my list!” She throws a suspicious glance at Shay. “Did you tell him?”

Leslie holds her hands up in a gesture of innocence “I honestly had no idea what he got you for your birthday. He refused to tell me.”

“Then how did you know?” Sylvie asks him as she steps back to get a full view of the piece again.

“I didn’t,” he admits honestly. “I saw it at a pawnshop Kelly and I walked past one day and...I don’t know, it made me think of you. So I bought the record player and the speakers and built the cabinet to match. Do you like it?”

Can he not tell that from her reaction? Why does he sound so doubtful?

“Are you kidding me?” She asks him, her jaw dropping at his modesty. “Matt, this is everything I wanted and _then some_. I am...I’m blown away.”

She throws herself at him in a forceful embrace and he lets out a sound that’s half a grunt and half a laugh as he catches her.

“Happy birthday, Sylvie,” he says softly as his arms wrap around her.

“Thank you so much, Matt,” she tells him as she holds him tighter. “Not just for the gift but for the entire day. It’s been perfect. _You’ve_ been perfect. Honestly, I’m not sure I’m worth the trouble.”

“It wasn’t any trouble,” he promises her. “But if it was you’d definitely be worth it.”

They seem to both remember their audience at the same time and reluctantly separate. Stella steps up to Sylvie’s side and elbows her pointedly before whispering so only she can hear.

“You see? _Obvious_ ,” Stella says with a triumphant grin. “Go and _get him_.”

Sylvie debates it but ultimately gets pulled into one last lap of goodbyes before everyone leaves while Matt and Kelly load her gifts into the back of Casey’s truck. By the time that’s done most of the guests are gone, including Herrmann who left his keys with Shay.

“You guys go,” Shay says, pushing Matt and Sylvie toward the door. “We’ll stay and clean up.”

“We will?” Severide asks with a groan.

“We will,” Stella confirms with a glare.

“Okay, yeah,” he complies quickly. “I guess we will.”

She kisses Stella and Shay on their cheeks and grabs her shoes before hugging Severide one last time. “You guys, thank you all so much for tonight. I’m really not kidding when I say it was my best birthday ever. You’re all the best.”

“You know we love you, Partner,” Shay tells her. “Your first Chicago Birthday had to be a blow out.”

Matt places her wrap on her shoulders and then guides her forward with his hand on the small of her back. “Come on, birthday girl, let’s get you home. You’ve had a long day. I’m surprised you’re still on your feet.”

“I am much too excited to be tired,” she tells him with a chuckle. “And I _still_ don’t want the night to end.”

“It’s almost two in the morning, Sylvie,” Matt says with a chuckle. “The night’s already ended.”

“Party pooper,” she accuses, teasingly.

They reach his truck and he opens the door for her, the same way he’s opened any door all day long, and she internally swoons. He really has been completely perfect today. From beginning to end. She stops in front of him while he still has one hand on the passenger side door and leans into his space to press a lingering kiss on his cheek. She pulls away, slowly and reluctantly, keeping her eyes trained on his.

“Best birthday ever,” she repeats with a warm smile, letting her eyes drift down to his lips and then back up again. “Seriously.”

His hand comes up hesitantly, as if he’s unsure of how she’ll react, and tucks an errant strand of hair behind her ear but once that’s done he doesn’t pull away. He gently cups the side of her face, the pad of his calloused thumb skimming her cheek. He’s watching her closely, so closely she thinks he sees all the way through her. He’s looking for something -- some sign that he should stop or let her go.

It’s a sign he’s not going to get. Not from her. Not tonight. Quite possibly, _not ever_. 

One corner of his mouth pulls upward a moment before he leans in.

His lips touch hers she finds herself wanting to cry for the second time that night. She’s stressed and stressed over her feelings for him, but in this moment stress is the furthest thing from her mind.

Because it all feels so damn _right_.

It’s a soft press of his lips to hers at first, experimental. He’s still giving her a chance to back out. She has no plans on taking it. Her arms snake around his shoulders and pull him closer, increasing the pressure of his lips fitting against hers. He releases the door to wrap an arm around her waist, leaving the passenger side door standing wide open. His tongue swipes at her bottom lip causing her to release a contented sigh as her mouth opens to his. And after that all thoughts of backing out are behind them.

They’re in it and _committed_. 

He takes control, crushing her against him, as his kisses become rougher and more urgent. The only word she can think of to describe it is _plundering_ but even that doesn’t cover the way her skin sizzles under his touch or the electric tickle zinging from her lungs to her stomach over and over again. His hand on her waist sears through the thin fabric of her dress. She’s honestly afraid she’ll have a brand on her skin in the shape of his hand, even if she knows that’s not possible. And the hand that was cupping her face, slips back into her hair idly alternating between massaging her scalp and combing through her tresses. 

She’s rapidly approaching sensory overload along with oxygen deprivation and she knows the moment’s coming where they’ll have to stop but god damn she doesn’t want to.

Why can’t she keep kissing him forever? Is that too much to ask?

Finally, they pull apart, resting their foreheads together. They’re so close that she can feel the pounding of his heart through his chest. The rapid pace is a match to her own. They’re both breathing harshly but the minute their eyes meet a goofy smile stretches across Matt’s face and it’s so infectious that she has no choice but to mirror it back at him.

“You wanted to know my birthday wish?” She asks him, still trying to catch her breath.

His brow furrows slightly but his smile holds steady. “Yeah?”

“That was it,” she confesses with a furious blush. “I wished for a birthday kiss from Matt Casey and _holy shit_ did you deliver.”

A loud laugh bursts out of him and she lets the sound imprint itself on her heart. God she loves it when he laughs. His entire face lights up. He’s handsome as he is, but when he’s lit up from the inside out...well he’s absolutely irresistible. _To her_ , anyway.

“Glad to be of service,” he replies through the remnants of his laughter. She feels his hands tenderly caress down the length of her back, both stopping to rest at her waist. “We should talk. About what just happened and...a few other things.”

“We should,” she agrees. “Maybe when we reach my place?”

He nods. “Sounds good. I’ve waited this long to tell you how I feel, a few more minutes won’t kill me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N:** To all of you who guessed Sylvie’s birthday wish, GOOD WORK. ;) How are we feeling? Everybody breathing? Good! Cause next chapter you’ll finally get to read...THE TALK. You won’t want to miss it. 
> 
> Let me know your thoughts and feels in a comment! I love chatting with you guys!


	64. More Than Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** you guys ready for the talk?! I hope so cause it’s here. Also shout out to Katertots for editing some of this for me! She improved it so much! She’s the best!
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“It feels like we've been friends forever,_

_And we always see eye to eye._

_The more time we spend together,_

_The more I wanna say what's on my mind._

_Take it easy,_

_'Cause it ain't easy to say,_

_I wanna be more than friends.”_

_“More Than Friends” by Jason Mraz Ft. Meghan Trainor_

******

Did he really do that? Did he _kiss_ Sylvie Brett?

Yes, he _did_.

It was mind blowing. Rejuvenating. _Overwhelming_.

And, apparently, her birthday wish.

Meaning he wasn’t imagining the chemistry and the flirting that had been going on all day, after all. She wanted this. She wanted _him_. It was _real_. 

He had a lot of questions, but as he parks outside of her apartment he has one more pressing thought.

He clears his throat and nervously runs a hand through his hair before pointing to her door. “Before we go in _there_ , I think I need to tell you something.”

He cuts the engine as Sylvie angles herself in the seat to face him. “Okay,” she says warily. “But if it’s an apology, please don’t. I don’t regret that kiss and I hope you don’t either.”

“Hell no,” he says immediately. “No chance I’d ever regret that.”

She lets out a relieved breath and visibly relaxes. “Good because I’m hoping for an encore later.”

He chuckles and nods. “I think we can manage that, but that does bring me to what I wanted to talk about. If we’re going to do this,” he begins, pointing between them. “Then I want to do this right. The first time we met neither of us were in particularly healthy places and I don’t want a repeat of that. I don’t want one night and then nothing. I want to really give this a shot.”

She reaches over and places her hand on his as it rests on the middle console, beaming at him all the while. “That’s what I want too.”

“I was hoping you’d say that,” he confesses squeezing her hand. “I also want to take things... _slow_. So once we go in there, I _will_ be leaving before sunrise.”

She presses her free hand to her mouth to muffle a chuckle and nods. “Again with this gentleman stuff,” she says, teasingly. But after a moment she bites her bottom lip and then flashes him a coy smile. “How slow is _slow_ for you?”

“Sylvie--” He starts with a bemused expression.

“What? It’s a legitimate question. How _slow_ are we talking? A glacial pace or--”

He laughs and feels his cheeks heat with a blush. He’s been remembering that first night more and more as the day went on and it’s _really_ not helping him have this discussion. “Not a glacial pace. Just normal speed. Not too fast, not too slow.”

“So, the standard three date rule then?” She asks, hopefully.

“Is that still the rule?” He asks her. “It’s been a while since I’ve dated. I might be out of touch.”

“Well, it’s not like I’ve been doing a ton of that myself,” she admits with a bashful grin. “Just on and off again with Harrison for a few _years_ , some jerks during our breaks, and then Pete. But as far as I know, yeah that’s still the rule.”

“Hallie and I were together for eight years and then I only dated Gabby after that and we didn’t exactly follow standard dating procedure,” Matt admits with a fond smile. 

It’s a good sign that thinking of Hallie and Gabby doesn’t threaten to rip him open anymore, isn’t it? A part of him _wants_ to reminisce about them now. They were an important part of his life and who he is now. He doesn’t want to ignore that, especially when talking to Sylvie.

Sylvie nods and smiles warmly at him with a look of clear understanding. “So, we’re both a bit new to this whole friends to lovers thing. Well, that’s comforting. I mean maybe we play it by ear, you know? Take it as it comes. No pressure, no timetables, just... _us_. Like it always is. Except, from here on out, we’re a little more open about how we feel.”

“That does sound nice,” he agrees, lifting her knuckles to his lips and kissing them tenderly.

Her cheeks turn a sweet shade of pink, that only makes her more appealing, as she smiles broadly at him. One dimple appears on her cheek but it’s quickly covered by her other hand as she massages her cheeks and shakes her head.

“Oh my gosh, if I smile any bigger or longer I think my face might start cramping. Is that possible?” She asks him with a delighted quiet giggle.

“I don’t know,” he tells her. “But I like that you’re in a position to find out.”

She rolls her eyes but her smile never fades. “Come on, charmer, let’s go inside and have this conversation somewhere a little more comfortable.”

Before they sit down and get caught up in each other, Matt insists on bringing in her presents and setting up her record player. Part of it is a stall tactic so he can get his nerves and adrenaline under control. He’s had a taste of a real heartfelt kiss with Sylvie Brett and everything in him wants _more_. But he meant what he said. He wants to do this right. Like a _normal_ couple. He hasn’t done that since Hallie and by the end that wouldn’t have been considered normal either.

Sylvie busies herself with cleaning and putting away her new cookware while Matt works on the stereo. He removes the floating shelves they installed when she moved in and makes a mental note to come back and patch the holes another day. For now, the tall speakers in their custom casings should hide them. He stands up when he’s finished and smirks at how perfectly his work fits with her other decor. He allows himself a moment to be cocky and proud. He knows Sylvie pretty damn well. He shouldn’t have doubted himself. 

“You look pleased with yourself,” Sylvie comments as she comes to stand next to him. “Feeling a little triumphant, are we?”

He laughs softly and nods. “I am. I was worried I’d gone too far.”

“You did a little,” she teases. “But I’m not going to complain. This is probably the most thoughtful gift I’ve ever gotten.”

He crowds into her space and takes her hand in his, with their faces mere inches apart. “I don’t know whether to celebrate the fact that my gift ranks at the top or berate your exes for being idiots.”

She chuckles and threads their fingers together. “I don’t know why you can’t do both.”

“Okay, then most of your exes sound like total dicks,” he says with a grin.

“You’ve berated my exes,” she tells him, amusement shining in her eyes. “Now, how do you plan to celebrate?”

“Oh, I have a couple of ideas,” he quips before dipping his head to capture her lips with his.

Her hand releases his so she can grip his shoulders for balance, allowing him to slide his hands along the silky fabric of her dress. They slip from her waist to her back, one flattens against the curve of her spine and the other in between her shoulders. The first kiss is shallow but the second one deepens as Sylvie pulls herself closer until her chest is flush against his. 

He remembers the feeling of her curves in his hands from that first night but he doesn’t remember it feeling as intense as _this_. Now that he knows her, _truly_ knows her, being with her feels all consuming. He doesn’t want to do anything from now on if he can’t do it _with her_. Now that the thing he’s wished to happen for so long is happening he doesn’t want to let it go or even think of anything else.

Just _this_. Just _her_.

But as her hands push the sport coat off of his shoulders he realizes he doesn’t have a choice. They _have_ to talk. As much as he wants to keep kissing her all night, he told himself he wouldn’t take this too fast. They’re rapidly heading toward _too fast_.

He pulls away with a grimace. Why is he doing this to himself? He could just dive into her and not come back up till the morning but _no_ he has to listen to his conscience. Jesus, he’s an idiot.

“Sylvie,” he says hoarsely.

She understands his meaning without him having to say another word and steps back with a bemused expression and a resigned sigh. “Right, we’re supposed to _talk_.”

He lets out a muted laugh and nods. “Yes, we are.”

“ _You’re_ the one who kissed me and you’re so good at the kissing thing that I sort of forgot everything else,” she tells him with a grin. “Not my fault.”

“Point taken,” he concedes with an easy smile. “I’ll try to keep my lips to myself from here on out.”

She grabs his hand and pulls him toward the couch. She pushes him to sit and then backtracks to the record player. “I need music first.” She puts on an album but keeps the volume soft. “Carole King to soothe the nerves,” she says, biting her lip nervously as she settles in next to him.

“You’re nervous?” He asks her in surprise. “Why?”

“I don’t know,” she admits. “What I’ve been feeling these last few weeks is completely new to me and I guess--” she cuts her sentence short and takes a deep breath. “I guess it scares me a little. Or maybe a lot.”

“Last few weeks?” He asks. “How long is that?”

“Well, that’s the thing,” she answers, fiddling with her watchband nervously. “I’m not entirely sure. I can tell you when I started to _notice_ it but...a part of me thinks it’s been there all along and I made myself ignore it. I’m starting to think Pete really did see my feelings more clearly than I did. He tried to tell me, but I brushed him off. I’m still sorting through all of that.”

Matt nods, letting her words wash over him. “You think you ignored it because we weren’t ready?”

“Yeah, I do,” she says honestly. “I think I hung an off limits sign on you and pretended I didn’t want anything else until I actually believed it. If that makes any sense at all.”

“I get that,” he tells her. “I fought what I felt for you from almost the very beginning. I knew I’d screw it up considering how fucked up I was so I shoved it all down. By the time I felt ready, you and Mills were going strong so I...dove into work.”

She reaches across the small bit of space between them and takes his hand in hers. “You know what I think really made it undeniable for me?”

“What?” He asks, his eyes meeting hers curiously.

“My kitchen cabinets,” she replies with a quiet chuckle. He chuckles with her and shakes his head in disbelief.

“The cabinets?”

“Yes!” She insists enthusiastically. “We spent so much time together working on them and we talked about nothing and everything and it just reinforced for me how rare and _good_ you are. Once you started working undercover for Voight, all of that time together pulled my feelings to the surface and it kept snowballing from there.”

“Mine started a long time before that,” he confesses. “I kept dismissing them and dismissing them until…”

“Until when?” She asks, quirking a brow at him.

“That day I came over to fix your sink?” He asks, trying to prompt her memories.

“Really? _That_ day?”

He nods. “I remember you hugged me, very innocently, but it felt like a shock to my system -- like a hit from a defib. I swear, in that moment, my entire system restarted.”

“Because of a hug?” She asks him with a sweet disbelieving smile.

“Because of a hug from _Sylvie Brett_ ,” he corrects her.

“That sounds ridiculous,” she tells him fondly. “Adorable, but ridiculous.”

“You’ve clearly never hugged yourself,” Matt remarks, with a crooked smirk. 

She laughs and shakes her head at him. “No, I guess I haven’t.” She takes a moment to sweep her blue eyes over him from head to toe before voicing the question they’re both thinking. “So,” she begins. “What now? We’ve kissed and we’ve talked. Where do we go from here?”

“The logical next step would be a date,” he replies. 

“A _date_? With Matt Casey?” She asks, casually throwing her legs over his. 

His hand, that isn’t holding hers, lands on her knee and squeezes. “If you want.”

“If I want?” She says, reaching over to cup his jaw with her free hand. “Matt, that’s _all_ I want. After next shift? I would say tomorrow but I have a spa day with the girls, apparently.”

He leans into her touch and closes his eyes. “After next shift is perfect.” He turns his head and presses a kiss to her palm before opening his eyes to look at her again. “And if it wasn’t I’d make it work.”

He can feel himself leaning closer to her and he knows what’s coming. If he gets sucked back into kissing her then he’ll never leave. He’s too crazy about her to resist giving in a third time.

“I should go,” he says with a sigh, as he presses his forehead to hers. “I don’t want to but if I don’t our whole conversation about not going too fast will mean nothing.”

“You’re really seeing that through, huh?” She asks him with an amused grin.

He lifts one brow and gives her a bemused glance. “Not if you keep making me question it.”

Sylvie leans away from him with a teasing grin and stands up from the couch, picking his jacket up off the floor. “Then, I guess I should walk you out and say goodnight,” she says, holding it up for him. “I won’t test your willpower anymore tonight.”

He stands up and takes his jacket from her, slipping it on as they walk to the door. She opens it and then leans her back against it, forcing his shoulder to brush across her front and creating a brief crackle of temptation. Just as he steps over the threshold, he turns back, wraps his arms around her waist, and presses his lips to hers in an impulsive insistent kiss.

She smiles against his lips before relaxing into it, gripping his biceps to hold herself steady. Christ, he’s already addicted to kissing her and he’s only been allowed to for a handful of hours. He’s in serious trouble, and it’s clear his resolve to take things slow is not going to hold out.

With that in mind, Matt breaks the kiss and steps back. He clears his throat and then smiles affectionately at her.

“You’re too enticing. I gotta get out of here.”

She huffs out a laugh, gesturing to his truck. “Go! I’m not stopping you.”

“Oh, but you are,” he tells her, shaking his head. “And the scariest part is, you’re not even trying.”

“Fine. Would it be easier for you if I go inside and shut the door behind me?” she suggests, tilting her head with an amused yet sympathetic expression.

“Please,” he replies.

Sylvie laughs again, openly this time, and he loves the way it lights up her entire face. He tries to commit as much of her current happiness to memory as he can. She’s illuminated more than usual tonight and it’s part of the reason he can’t bring himself to leave. 

This moment is beautiful and he wants to hold onto it as long as he possibly can.

She steps back into her apartment with her hand on the door knob. “I’ll see you next shift.”

“Goodnight, Sylvie. And happy birthday,” he tells her. “Seeing as it’s now your actual birthday.”

“Thank you,” she tells him. “I don’t know why—” she stops and winks at him, “—but I feel like I’m really gonna enjoy being 26. Good things are coming, I think.”

“I hope so,” he agrees. “You deserve it.”

“You’re impossibly sweet,” she tells him, pulling the door closed very slightly. “Goodnight, Matt,” she says, continuing to pull the door closed until she’s looking at him through a narrow opening. “I’m glad you were the one to distract me today.”

He nods and smiles brightly, unable to stop himself. He’s had one hell of a good day. “Me too.”

They exchange goofy grins one more time before she finally shuts the door. He waits until he hears the lock click, content with the knowledge he’s seen her safely home, and then makes his way to his truck.

He’s never looked forward to birthdays before, but if there’s a chance he might be spending his with Sylvie then maybe this year will be different. Maybe, from here on out, everything will be different.


	65. When You Wonder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First shift, post-talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** Okay, some of you may have noticed that I left out a big S4 plot in the previous chapters. Because Welch stayed and was promoted instead of bounced to the floater pool that means we never got Rice and Rice was never fired. This means Riddle couldn’t use Welch being bounced or Rice getting fired against Severide _and_ Welch getting promoted actually looks good for Severide’s leadership. So...I was able to scrap the “Severide loses his bugle” plot (a plot I hated with a burning passion).
> 
> But scraping that has consequences. Because Riddle is, well, Riddle and he’s bound and determined to mess with Boden he would find another way to hit him where it hurts. Upon rewatching S4, I noticed the Ambo calls were _high_ _key_ with the drama early on. I included those calls in my AU for a purpose.
> 
> Here’s where you learn that purpose.
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“When you don't feel important honey,_

_All I've got to say is,_

_To the world,_

_You may be just another girl,_

_But to me,_

_Baby, you are the world._

_You think you're one of millions but you're one in a million to me,_

_When you wonder if you matter, baby look into my eyes,_

_And tell me, can't you see you're everything to me?”_

_-“The World” by Brad Paisley_

******

“Wait, wait, wait,” Stella says as they step into the hot tub with their glasses of complimentary champagne. “He wants to go _slow_? How slow?”

“ _That’s_ what you got from her story?” Shay asks Kidd with an incredulous expression.

“I left her alone at the apartment for the express purpose of them jumping each other!”

Sylvie rolls her eyes in fond frustration. “Trust me, I was perfectly happy with the way it turned out. Kissing Matt Casey was the absolute best way to start my actual birthday.”

“Well, good for you, farmgirl,” Shay says, clinking her glass against Sylvie’s. “Good for _both_ of you, honestly. You and Casey are two of the best people I know. You deserve to be happy.”

“Cheers to that!” Stella decrees, taking a large gulp of her drink.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Sylvie says, more to herself than her friends. “We haven’t even had a date yet—“

Stella and Leslie laugh loudly and roll their eyes.

“Are you serious?” Shay asks. “What do you think yesterday was? That was like one long super date.”

“He took you to _Sunset_ , Sylvie,” Kidd reminds her. “The hottest, newest, most romantic restaurant in town. Do you think he’d do that for _anyone_ else?”

“Believe me, I _remember_ how romantic it was, but it wasn’t an _official_ date. I’d like to get that accomplished before I start fantasizing about anything else, please,” Sylvie requests.

She’s cautiously hopeful about her and Matt but she’s still feeling as if it all might slip away from her at the last minute. All of her other relationships have. Her history isn’t exactly the greatest.

“Okay, but when you guys are married with two babies and a dog, we reserve the right to say we told you so,” Shay says with a smirk.

They finish the day with their salt room treatment and then Stella drives them home. Sylvie feels completely relaxed and ready to take on her next 24 at the firehouse. It’s been a whirlwind 48 off between her day with Matt, the surprise party, and now. She meant it when she told Matt she thought she’s going to enjoy being 26 and so far, so good. 

Not long after they get home, her phone rings and she smiles as soon as she sees the caller ID. 

Stella snorts and smirks. “I know who that is just by the swoony look on your face.”

Sylvie rolls her eyes at her roommate and retreats to the privacy of her room. “Hey,” she says as she answers the call.

“Hey,” Matt replies. “Shay just got home so I figured you’d be home too. Good day?”

“Definitely in the top five,” she tells him.

“What are the other four spots?” He asks, sounding both teasing and genuinely curious at once.

“The top spot is the day my parents brought home my little brother.”

“Naturally,” Matt responds.

“The second spot is the day I decided to move to Chicago.”

“Best decision you’ve ever made, if you ask me.”

Sylvie chuckles and nods, knowing Matt won’t see it. “It certainly led to a life and a family I didn’t know I needed. Which leads me to my number three slot. The day I walked into 51 for the first time. There was a guy there that I was _convinced_ I’d never see again. Which I’m sure gave the-powers-that-be a good chuckle. 51 also gave me all of my closest friends and helped make Chicago feel like home.”

“And fourth?” Matt asks.

“Yesterday,” she replies with certainty. “Yesterday for sure. From the minute shift ended to the minute you walked out my door.”

“Good.” She can hear the pride in Matt’s voice loud and clear, along with the competitive teasing as he continues. “Let’s see if I can bump your spa day out of that coveted fifth spot.”

She giggles softly at his newfound cocky attitude. This is a new side of Matt for her. She likes it entirely too much. “Oh yeah? And how are you going to do that?”

“Meet me at Molly’s the night after our shift and you’ll find out,” he challenges.

“What time?”

“1:30.”

“You said night. Isn’t that a little early for ‘night’?” She asks in confusion.

“1:30 in the morning,” he clarifies.

“In the _morning_?”

“Just trust me. It’ll be worth it.”

“I trust you,” she parrots. “That’s never in question. Of course I’ll meet you. Besides, now you have me intrigued. There’s no way I would miss it.”

They talk for a little while longer and then say goodnight. Sylvie goes to bed dreaming of Matt Casey and all the possibilities their first date might hold. When her alarm goes off in the morning she doesn’t hit snooze, for once. She’s excited to go in and see Matt for the first time since they kissed (and kissed, and kissed, _and kissed_ some more). 

That excitement quickly evaporates when Connie appears in the bunkroom as soon as shift starts, looking for her and Shay.

“Chief Hatcher and Chief Riddle are with Chief Boden in his office and they’re asking to see you both,” Connie says brusquely before immediately walking away.

“Three chiefs?” Shay questions with a grimace. “That can’t be good.”

Sylvie’s brow furrows. “But what could it be about? Has Boden talked to you about anything?”

“No,” Shay says as they start walking toward the bullpen. “Not since Baby Morales and you were there for that. That wasn’t anything that would warrant Hatcher, let alone Riddle.” Shay reaches out and squeezes Brett’s hand as they approach Boden’s open office door. “Breathe, partner. We got this.”

Sylvie does as she’s told and takes a long, deep breath. She releases it slowly as Boden closes the door behind them. A closed door meeting with three chiefs at once. Holy shit. They have to be in trouble.

“You sent for us, Chief?” Leslie asks Boden, looking much cooler than Sylvie knows she feels.

“Yes, thank you for coming so quickly,” Boden says, giving them both a subtle apologetic glance.

That tells them both all they need to know.

They’re about to be ambushed.

“Chief Riddle has some concerns about a few of your more recent calls,” their Chief informs them somberly.

Sylvie decides to hang back and let her PIC handle this, at least for now. She’s too new to push the envelope. 

“Concerns?” Shay asks, glancing over at Chief Riddle for answers.

“Three calls in particular caught my attention, ladies,” Riddle explains. “The Alicia Morales call that resulted in borderline inappropriate behavior regarding the infant you delivered, Your beach side resuscitation during which PIC Shay argued with a fellow medic and disregarded the SMOs completely, and your anonymous sick person call which, if rumor is to be believed, led to an EMT confronting an unstable man who was armed and dangerous. All three of these calls are liabilities this department cannot afford.”

Rumor? No one knew about that incident except her, Shay, Matt, and Stella. How did _Riddle_ hear about that?

“All due respect, sir,” Shay says, with more control than Sylvie expects. “We dealt with the circumstances we were handed in each of those instances, _and_ in each of those instances we saved a life. Meaning we did our jobs with extreme proficiency. So, I’m not sure I understand. What _liabilities_ are you referring to?”

“I believe it is our obligation to examine whether or not having two such highly emotional people partnered together is wise,” Riddle responds as he coldly glances up and down the length of both paramedics. “This discussion is a prime example of that. Clearly, you’re becoming agitated by a very civil discussion.” 

“Trust me, Chief,” Shay replies with sugary sweetness. “I’m not agitated. You’d _know_ if I were agitated.”

“I think what Shay is trying to say, Chief Riddle,” Hatcher says as he gives Shay a slight scolding glance. “Is that she and Brett have the right to know exactly what policies and procedures they are charged with violating. If you’ll provide myself and Chief Boden with a detailed write up of your charges, we will make sure you’re provided with some answers.”

“Exactly,” Boden concurs. “In the meantime, I’d like for my medics to get back to work.” He pauses and then glares at Riddle. “If that’s okay with you, that is?”

“Yes, yes of course,” Riddle says with a huff. “I’m not saying any decisions have been made. I was simply wanting to make sure your medics were advised that the Department is weighing it’s options -- to prepare them for any changes that we might be making.”

“Consider us informed,” Shay quips, dryly.

Tension fills the room and all of it is because of Riddle. When the silence stretches out longer than Sylvie can stand it, she clears her throat and hesitantly turns to Boden. “Do you need us for anything else, Chief? Are we dismissed?”

He nods and gives Sylvie a small encouraging smile. “You’re dismissed. See you both at the briefing in a half hour.”

Sylvie doesn’t wait to be told twice. She flees the room with Shay hot on her heels. As they’re walking away, Riddle’s words finally penetrate through her fog of panic. 

He wants to separate her and Shay. That means...one of them gets transferred.

And no way in hell it’ll be Shay. She’s the PIC.

If one of them is forced out of 51, it’ll be _her_.

“Oh god,” Sylvie says, freezing mid stride in the hallway -- just outside of the bunkroom. She feels sick and a little lightheaded. Tears spring to her eyes and, a second before she completely loses it, Shay pushes her through the doorway. And, consequently, away from too many prying eyes (like Chief Riddle).

“Breathe, Partner,” Shay reminds her again. “We’re gonna be fine.”

“Were we even in the same meeting?” Sylvie asks her frantically. “We’re _not_ fine! And who do you think will be the one they transfer if it comes to that? Certainly not you, the PIC who’s been here forever. No, it’ll be _me_. Last one in, first one out. Isn’t that how the saying goes?”

“Hey, look at me,” Shay demands as she places her hands on Sylvie’s shoulders. Sylvie reluctantly does as she’s told and meets Shay’s eyes. “Boden won’t let that happen. He works his ass off to keep this house together. You’re not going anywhere.”

“Everything okay?”

Sylvie nearly collapses in relief at the sound of the familiar voice behind her. _Matt_. She turns away from Shay to face him. He’s opened the door to his quarters and is leaning against the door jamb, looking worried. He’s the best thing she’s seen or heard all morning.

“We’re fine,” Shay says dismissively.

“No, Shay, we’re not,” Sylvie disagrees, angrily. “When you have a meeting with three chiefs and one of them threatens to transfer you that is, by definition, _not_ fine.”

“I’m telling you, Boden won’t let it happen,” Shay insists again.

“Of course you can say that,” Sylvie snaps. “ _You’re_ not the one they’d transfer, are you?”

Shay’s expression flashes with hurt and guilt. Matt leaves his spot by his door and a moment later Sylvie feels his warm touch on the small of her back, offering her both comfort and clarity. She immediately regrets lashing out.

“Oh, Leslie, I didn’t mean--I shouldn't have said that.”

Leslie shakes her head and smiles kindly at her. “No, you’re right. It is easy for me to say. I’d be snapping and snarling too if I were in your shoes. Only I’d probably add in punching people and throwing things. You wanna throw something at me? I’ve got a CFD football helmet in my locker. I can put it on and you can have at it.”

Sylvie smirks at her, chuckling mutely and finally feeling herself start to calm down. “No, that’s okay. We’ll save that for next time.”

“Alright,” Matt says, his tone full of concern. “You guys have to clue me in here. Why are we talking about Sylvie being transferred?”

“Riddle has a bug up his ass and is trying to hit Boden where it hurts,” Shay sneers. “He’s cooked up some bogus concerns about a few of our recent calls and he’s using it to claim Sylvie and I shouldn’t be partners. It’s bullshit. Boden and Hatcher both know it. Bottom line, he couldn’t get us with the 24th Street fire so now Sylvie and I are his back up plan.”

“Collateral damage,” Sylvie agrees with a hopeless sigh. She turns to Matt and shrugs weakly. “You said we’d get sucked into whatever game Riddle’s playing. This is part of the game. You were right.”

“Boden will do everything he can to keep a transfer from happening,” Matt assures her. “He hates losing good people from this house. Besides, it hasn’t happened _yet_. You’ve never been fatalistic before.” Matt stops and nudges her shoulder with his own, grinning at her in encouragement. “Don’t start now.”

She sighs tiredly but nods.

“You said you were gonna like being 26, you’re only two days into it. You can’t give up on that already,” Matt teases.

That draws out a grin and laugh. “You’re right. I’ve had two perfect days in a row and I refuse to let Riddle ruin that.”

“There’s our sunshiny Sylvie Brett!” Shay exclaims, rushing her with a hug. “Welcome back! Now let’s get to work. We still have an ambo full of supplies to inventory.”

Shay starts to pull her away but Matt stops them by gently wrapping a hand around Sylvie’s wrist. “After the briefing will you meet me in my quarters? To talk?”

They trade goofy grins for a moment before Sylvie nods and finally answers. “Absolutely. As long as inventory’s done.”

She knows he’s going to want to know every detail of what went down with Riddle and while she’d dread reliving it for anyone else she trusts Matt to have her back. He’ll offer her an honest opinion. As much as this situation sucks, she can’t wait to loop him in. She needs his help to get through it.

******

Matt waits for Riddle and Hatcher to leave Boden’s office and then barges in. He put on a good front for Sylvie, but he’s worried.

“Did I hear correctly?” Matt asks his Chief. “Riddle threatened to break up our medics?”

Boden sighs tiredly and clenches his jaw. “Yes, he did.”

“Can he make that happen?”

“Hatcher and I are both pushing back. As long as Hatcher doesn’t want it to happen then we should be able to hold him off,” Boden replies. Though he doesn’t look as confident as Matt would like.

Matt nods. “I hope so. They’re both solid medics. Losing either of them would be a shame.”

“Trust me,” Boden assures him. “I don’t need to be convinced. Brett’s newer but she’s proven herself, time and time again. I have no intention of letting her leave this house.”

He breathes a sigh of relief at those words. “Good. I just...I had to check.”

Boden gives him an almost imperceptible grin and a knowing glance. “I’m sure you did. Anything the two of you want to disclose to me at the current moment?”

Matt hesitates but covers his awkwardness with a lop-sided grin. “Not quite yet, but you’ll be the first to know when that changes.”

“Until then,” he says. “I don’t need to know any of the details. Copy?”

“Copy that,” Casey agrees.

“I’ll see you at the briefing in fifteen minutes,” he says as he points Matt out the door.

“Yes, Chief, I’ll let you get back to work,” he replies, taking the hint.

He gets back to his quarters and finds Severide waiting by his open door. “Shay and Brett tell you what’s going on?” Severide asks.

“Yeah,” he grumbles. “I just went to talk to Chief about it. He says they should be able to hold him off but he didn’t look as certain as I wanted him to.”

“If this guy makes commissioner we’re all done,” Kelly says with a shake of his head. “What a dick.”

“It figures this would happen the shift after Sylvie’s birthday,” Matt tells him with a wince.

“How’s she taking it?” 

“I haven’t had a real chance to talk to her about it yet, but based on what I saw between her and Shay earlier? It’s not good. Not that I blame her,” he admits. “I’m gonna try and talk to her one on one after the morning brief.”

Severide nods and then smirks slowly at him. “Good. If all else fails I’m sure you can find _some way_ to distract her.”

“Come on, man, we’re at work,” Matt replies with a scoff.

“Please, you’re not as much of a prude as you pretend to be. I seem to remember one Thanksgiving where Hallie visited you and the blinds in your quarters stayed closed for a little _too long_ ,” Severide says with a teasing glare.

“I’m not saying never,” Matt tells him, grinning mischievously. “I’m just saying _not_ before the first date.”

The briefing is uneventful. Only general housekeeping announcements. Sylvie and Shay look distracted the entire time. Matt catches Brett as they’re all leaving and gestures for her to follow him with a nod toward the bunkroom. Breakfast can wait a few minutes. He needs to talk to her and make sure she’s really fine.

Once they’re alone in his quarters he locks the door and closes the blinds.

“You okay?” He asks, stepping into her space and taking her hands in his.

She nods and squeezes his hands reassuringly. “I’m better. Hatcher stopped by to talk to us as he left and he said he doesn’t see any reason to split us up. Though, he did warn us to lay low for a while -- to not make any waves.”

“Probably good advice since it seems Riddle’s on the warpath,” Casey says with a huff. “I hate that you’ve gotten caught up in all of this.”

“Me too,” she confesses sadly. There’s a moment of silence before she shakes her head and then defiantly lifts her chin, holding her head up high and confident. “But I am not going to think about that anymore today. I’ll deal with it _if_ it happens, not before. You were right earlier, being fatalistic isn’t going to help.”

“Exactly right,” Matt agrees. “You’re here now and that’s what matters.”

Her eyebrows lift and a sinful smirk lights up her face as she snakes her arms around his neck. “Here, as in all alone in your quarters,” she clarifies. “With the door locked and the blinds drawn.”

He chuckles as she presses herself into him. He can’t help but pull her even closer, even as he shakes his head in disapproval. “We agreed to take it slow.”

“Yes, we did,” she says as she backs him up toward the desk. “But we did _not_ agree to stop all momentum completely.

He stops when he bumps into the desk and leans back against it, all but sitting on the edge. He spreads his stance to make room for her to stand between his legs, which she promptly does, and then smiles as it brings them eyelevel. “Sylvie...we shouldn’t.”

He says it, but even he doesn’t buy it.

“Come on,” she pleads with a coy smile. “I’ve had an awful morning but with a little _encouragement_ from you I think I might be able to turn it around.”

He quirks a brow at her for a prolonged moment before conceding. Teasing her is already too much fun. Finally, he closes the distance between them and slants his lips over hers. It doesn’t take long at all for the kiss to deepen and transition into a different more intrusive lip lock. Their tongues tangle together and his hands betray him. They defy his self control and untuck her gray t-shirt, slipping under it to feel the soft skin of her back and hips. Sylvie releases a muffled moan into his mouth at the contact and nips at his bottom lip with a sweet giggle.

“I knew you couldn’t resist me,” she says playfully, letting her lips ghost over his as she speaks.

“Great, we haven’t even been on an official date and you already know how big of a sucker I am,” he replies with a dry smirk. “That bodes well for me.”

“You’re not the only one who’s a sucker,” Sylvie admits with a blush and a shy smile as she idly runs her hands over his shoulders and arms. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this far gone this early. I know we’re taking it slow, Matt, but just know you can have however many dates you want. The sky’s the limit.”

“All the dates I want, huh?” He asks, caressing small circles on her back with his hand still underneath her shirt. “That’s a pretty big commitment. You sure about that? I could potentially never stop asking for dates.”

She brings her hands up to frame his face, thumbs tracing along his cheekbones. Her expression becomes exquisitely earnest. He swears the sight of it sends him into AFib.

“A girl can dream, right?” She asks with her warm gaze trained on his. “I should get back to work. You’ll be happy to know my theory was correct.”

She filches one last quick kiss as his brow furrows in confusion.

“What theory?” He asks.

“A little encouragement from you actually did turn my morning around,” she replies with a flirtatious wink.

He laughs and nods as she unlocks the door and saunters away. God, he’s in over his head with her. Has been for quite some time.

******

After deciding to ignore the chaos Riddle left in his wake, the rest of shift was relatively quiet. They had calls. Some solo, some with Truck, a couple with Squad but none of them were too dangerous or intense. It was the perfect shift really. Busy enough to pass the time but not so busy that she had to skip meals or sleep.

The end of shift rolls around without much fanfare. There’s no last minute calls to keep them running around until the bell for third shift rings, no paperwork or incident reports to fill out, no urgent meetings with Boden. They head to the locker room, change out, and leave.

Matt catches her as she reaches the apron.

“Don’t forget,” he says. “Molly’s 1:30 AM. We’ve got a date.”

“No chance I’ll forget,” she replies. “I’ll admit to being confused but no less excited.”

“It’ll all make sense later,” he says with an eager grin. “Trust me.”

He presses a quick kiss to her cheek and then walks away with a secretive gleam in his eyes and a bounce in his step.

“What was that about?” Stella asks as she stops beside Sylvie to watch Matt walk away.

“Honestly, I’m not entirely sure,” she says with a chuckle. “But if he’s happy, I’m happy.”


	66. Maybe It’s This Bar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First and second dates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** So, aside from one chapter VERY early on, this story hasn’t really lived up to its M rating. That’s all about to change over the next several chapters. The physical nature of their relationship starts building here, just as a heads up for those of you who may not enjoy smut or may be in space that’s not “safe” for it, lol.
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“I've looked in your eyes,_

_At least a thousand times,_

_I know everything about you,_

_Every inch, every smile._

_Maybe it's the stars,_

_Or maybe it's this bar,_

_Baby, I wanna remember,_

_How it felt to fall for your heart._

_So right now, how about maybe,_

_I don't know you, you don't know me?”_

_-“Strangers” by The Shires_

******

She shows up, as instructed, at 1:30 AM on the dot. Her Uber drops her off outside of Molly’s exactly on time. A rare feat for her when it comes to dates. She opted not to drive, deciding to insist Matt give her a ride. (She knows he wants to take things slow but she’s hoping to push the envelope...just a bit. Not too far because she respects Matt too much for that, but a light gentle shove should be well within bounds.)

Neither Herrmann nor Otis are working closing tonight, she notices as she chooses a bar stool. She orders a glass of white wine and tries her damndest not to look obvious as she searches the bar for Matt.

She smooths out the wrinkles in her sundress as she waits and, when it’s clear he’s not arrived yet, she begins anxiously switching her gaze between her glass and the door.

The wafting stench of someone drunk off their ass fills the space around her and she has to bite back a pained groan.

“You get stood up, baby?” A slurring voice asks from behind her. “You can always come and keep me company. _All night long_ , if you want. You look too sweet to waste a night sitting around here anyway.”

She rolls her eyes and turns to face the voice. She finds a douchey looking frat guy in a flatbill Cubs cap leering at her.

“Sweet, huh?” Sylvie asks, pasting on a smile. “Sweet doesn’t mean dumb and desperate. Go find someone else to practice your game on. I’m not interested.”

“Whatever,” the guy replies with a scoff and roll of his eyes. “You’re too high maintenance anyway.”

“If by high maintenance you mean, ‘not a pushover’ then I’ll gladly be high maintenance,” Sylvie quips.

She turns back to the bar as he walks away and glances down at her watch in frustration. Where is he?

“You don’t seem like a pushover or high maintenance to me,“ a new voice responds. 

She grins as she recognizes it. Took him long enough. She glances down the bar to her left and finds Matt nursing a bottle of beer. He nods and tips the bottle at her.

“Used to be a pushover,” she admits. “But now I’m something more — not quite high maintenance but definitely no longer a doormat.”

“Sounds like you’re from Chicago,” he tells her with a chuckle and a grin.

She laughs with him and then opens her mouth to tease him about being late, but he interrupts her by holding out his hand for a shake.

“Matt Casey.”

Her brow furrows and she narrows her eyes on him for a moment, but the second she catches a glimpse of the earnest plea in his slate blue eyes she _gets it_.

He’s arranged a do over of the night they met.

Or for them to take a—what did he call it on her first day at 51?—mulligan? Yes! That’s right! They’re taking a mulligan...again.

She places her hand in his and squeezes gently, smirking secretively all the while. “Sylvie Brett.”

“Nice to meet you, Sylvie Brett,” he says as he releases her hand. He points to her nearly empty wine glass. “Can I buy you another round of...white wine?”

“No,” she answers, pushing her glass away. He looks shocked and unsure how to proceed. She laughs and winks, taking mercy on him. “But, I’ll tell you what, you can buy me a beer. How’s that sound?”

Obvious relief flashes in his eyes before a slow smirk spreads across his face. “Like you’re a woman after my own heart.” He flags down a bartender and orders her a beer.

“So,” Matt says as the drink is set down in front of her. “Haven’t seen you around here before.”

She can’t help it. It’s such a cliche line and the laughter escapes her before she can stop it. When she meets Matt’s eyes he smiles brightly at her while his laughter joins hers.

“A little much?” He asks as his smile tilts.

She holds up her thumb and her forefinger, grinning flirtatiously. “Maybe a little.”

“Just trying to play out the bit,” he tells her with a chuckle as he sits down on the stool next to hers.

“Your dedication is admirable,” Sylvie says, smiling broadly. “So, this was your idea for our first date, huh? Recreating the night we met?”

He nods while reaching over to thread his fingers through hers. “We’re not only different people now, but we also know each other better. I thought a do over might be a good way to kick things off. Give us a chance to get it right. The way I would have if we met now or if either of us had been in a better place back then.”

“I like it,” she replies, meeting his nervous gaze with an affectionate one. “It’s sweet.”

They stay at Molly’s long enough to talk and finish a drink and then head for the exit. It’s completely different from the first time when they rushed out of the bar and to Matt’s condo. She didn’t stay long once they reached his condo either. It was definitely an out of character night for her but somehow it helped her find so much of who she truly wanted to be. She could never bring herself to regret it.

“So, question,” Matt says as they walk down the street hand in hand. “Has New Sylvie made Chicago her bitch yet?”

She laughs and brings her other hand over to rest on Matt’s bicep. “Not yet, but she’s getting there. A little more every day, I think. Like tonight, for example, showing up to try and take ownership of what I want. That’s a recent development for me.”

“Well, then personally I am all for it,” Casey agrees. “I like seeing you go after what you want.”

“Especially if what I want is _you_ , huh?” She asks, teasingly.

“ _Definitely_ then,” he confirms.

Once they’re in his truck, they drive away from Molly’s and toward her apartment -- Not Matt’s. As he parks outside her place, she smirks at him.

“Still taking it slow?” She asks, hoping he might have changed his mind. “I mean we are recreating the night we met so--”

He chuckles and shakes his head. “We’re recreating it so that we can do it _right_ , Sylvie. Meaning I take you home, go back to my place, and call you tomorrow.”

“Just checking,” she replies coyly.

“Come on,” he says with a crooked grin. “Let me walk you to your door.”

“Do we get to kiss at my door or are we keeping it middle school?” She asks him with a playful expression.

“Sometimes you are such a brat,” Matt replies through a laugh.

“It’s the Chicago in me, I think,” she tells him. “I swear I wasn’t a brat before I moved here.”

They do kiss at her door. It’s a lingering soft kiss and she enjoys it very much, but all it does is leave her wanting more. 

Then again…

Maybe that’s the point.

Matt Casey can be a smooth bastard when he wants to be and leaving her well kissed but yearning for a little more is a smooth move even by Severide’s standards.

He’s got her exactly where he wants her. The ball is entirely in his court and, the strangest part is, she doesn’t mind one damn bit. She wouldn’t trust anyone else with that kind of power _except_ Matt. She knows she’s in trouble, even after just one date, but it feels like the _good_ kind of trouble.

******

The next morning, Matt has to be up early for a job. No one else is awake when he leaves so he avoids an inquisition about the date. He’s relieved Sylvie liked his idea as much as he thought she would. Spending time with her is quickly becoming his favorite past time — even if it’s just getting a beer at Molly’s.

And that kiss almost broke his resolve.

Only one kiss with Sylvie is already a difficult task. Her lips are soft and she’s responsive in a way that drives him _insane_. She reacts to every graze of his fingers and press of his lips as if she wants all he has to give for as long as he can give it and she’ll accept nothing less. It leaves him breathless and _needy_. It’s been a while since he truly felt _needy_ , but he can’t stop himself.

And even if he could…

He wouldn’t want to.

His crew takes a break around ten and he decides to use his quiet moment to call Sylvie.

“Well, if it isn’t the cute guy from the bar last night,” Sylvie greets. He can picture the flirtatious grin on her face and it pulls the corners of his mouth upward involuntarily. “What a surprise!”

He releases a soft laugh before responding. “It took everything I had not to call you as soon as I got home last night.”

“Didn’t want to come across as desperate, huh?” She teases. “I get that. I’m a terrific date.”

“What about me?” He asks. “Am I a terrific date?”

She sighs and to his ears it sounds wistful — as if she’s reliving the night. Her words are spoken softly in a lilting voice. Making it clear her meaning conflicts with her literal answer. “You’re okay, I guess.”

“Okay enough to have dinner with me tonight?” He asks, eagerly.

“As in our second date?”

“As in.”

“In that case, I think I can pencil you in.”

He smiles into his phone while he lets the fondness in her voice wash over him. Having these feelings out in the open makes him feel lighter than he has in months.

“I’d appreciate that,” he replies. “Pick you up at seven? You pick the place this time?”

“I’ll be ready and waiting,” she promises. “Anything I need to avoid when picking a place for dinner?”

“No, I’m up for pretty much anything,” he assures her.

He’s been working on adding a multi level deck to the back of a house for repeat clients. They reach a good stopping place on the bottom level sometime around five and Matt hopes like hell that won’t make him late. These people usually pay him well and he wants to make sure he doesn’t give them any reason to hire someone else for their next home improvement job. Repeat clients, especially affluent ones, keep him going in the winter months so no matter how pressed it’s going to make him for time he had to make sure they left the site safe and neat.

He rushes through the apartment door a half hour later and tries to pass Shay and Severide with a wave and a nod, but he should have known better.

“Whoa, where’s the fire?” Severide asks.

“I’m late,” Matt tells him. “I’ve been working outside all day. I need to shower and change. I told Sylvie I’d pick her up at seven.”

Kelly and Leslie share a smirk.

“So what number date is this?” Shay asks. “Does her birthday dinner count as a date or--”

“It’s the second date and no her birthday dinner doesn’t count,” Matt answers quickly, anxiously checking his watch. “Can the two of you interrogate me later?”

Severide chuckles and nods. “Yeah, sure, get out of here.”

He showers, changes clothes, throws on a splash of cologne, grabs his wallet and keys off the nightstand and heads for the door at exactly 6:30. As long as traffic’s light, he should just make it.

“Have fun!” Shay yells, smirking after him as he leaves. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

“Is there anything you wouldn’t do?” Matt calls over his shoulder.

“No,” she answers with a laugh. “Have you seen Sylvie? She’s easily an eleven.”

“Not gonna argue with that,” he says while shutting the door behind him.

He knocks on Sylvie’s door at seven on the dot. Stella answers and motions him inside.

“She’s almost ready,” Stella explains. “Want anything to drink?”

“I’m good,” he says, nervously shoving his hands in his pockets. He’s not sure why he’s _still_ nervous.

They went out last night and it went better than he imagined. But he can’t shake the feeling that one wrong move will end it all. The foundation they’ve built will crumble and he’ll lose Sylvie for good.

“Relax,” Stella says with a knowing grin. She pats his arm as she walks by him to sit on the couch. “She’s done nothing but talk about you all day long. You’re doing great.”

“Yeah?” He asks, a self satisfied smirk growing on his face.

Kidd nods. “Oh, yeah. Honestly, I’ve never seen her _this_ excited about anything other than HGTV. Stop stressing, and enjoy it.”

She’s right. Stella Kidd is right. He repeats her words to himself as he waits. Stop stressing and enjoy it. He can do that.

Sylvie steps into the living room in another sundress, with a light cardigan covering her arms. Did he mention he loves sundresses? Especially on Sylvie. This one is a pastel blue that brings out her eyes. He has no choice but to stare.

“You look great,” he says as she approaches him. 

She blushes and murmurs a thank you before giving him a once over. “You look very handsome yourself. I like this shirt.”

He’d gone with khakis and light blue button up. Casual yet nice, he thought. Sylvie reaches up and straightens his collar. 

“There, perfect,” she says, letting her hands fall away from his collar and rest for a lingering beat on his chest. “Ready?”

As he’ll ever be, he thinks to himself as he nods. He slips his hand into Sylvie’s and leads her out the door. They both toss a quick goodbye to Stella on the way out.

“So, where to?” He asks.

She bites her bottom lip but he can see the edges of a hesitant grin. “Well, I’m still basically new to Chicago, right?”

“Yes,” he says, furrowing his brow. Where is this going?

“There’s this one place that I’ve been wanting to visit since I got here, but I haven’t brought it up to anyone cause I was afraid it would be considered too touristy or gimmicky. But I can’t think of anyone I trust more than you so I thought maybe you’d go with me?” 

He can tell she’s reluctant to bring it up and afraid of what he might think. He likes that she’s trusting him with this and that what he thinks might be important to her. “I told you, you pick the place and I’m up for anything. I meant that. So, where are we going?”

“Island Party Hut on the Riverwalk?” She suggests anxiously.

“The tiki bar with the party boat?” He asks with a soft chuckle. “You wanna to go there?”

“You remember I love kitschy, right?” She says, pointedly reminding him of her favorite breakfast place. He’s eaten with her there one time but the decor always stuck with him.

He chuckles and nods “I remember. Okay, Island Party Hut it is.”

“Yes!” She exclaims, excitedly wrapping her arms around him and kissing his cheek. “You’re wonderful. Thank you!”

Turns out Island Party Hut has a pretty decent burger. It really isn’t a bad way to spend an early summer night in Chicago. They’ve got a good table by the river so he can’t complain about the view, the breeze off the water keeps the temperature comfortable, and the beer is cold. But, truthfully, his favorite thing about the night is the company. 

He smiles and laughs more in one night than he has in nearly a year, he learns new things about Sylvie, sees more of her playfulness. They flirt, they tease, they kiss.

Once again, she exceeds all his expectations.

He pays the tab and as they’re leaving Sylvie pulls him to a stop just under the thatched awning of the Party Hut. 

“We should take a picture,” she suggests, tugging lightly on the lei a waitress put around his neck. “We didn’t take one last night and I think we need one. For posterity’s sake.”

He looks down at the lei around his neck and the tiki decorations skeptically but concedes. He’s already told her he’s a sucker for her. If that means their friends have to know he chose to visit a tourist trap on his night off then so be it.

She pulls out her phone for a selfie, but someone walks by and notices her struggling to find the right angle.

“Excuse me,” the man says with a wide kind smile. “Would you like someone to take that for you?”

He’s a very large man, with long dark hair, but he doesn’t look imposing. He looks like the personification of hospitality. Charming and caring and genuinely interested in the people in front of him.

“Oh! Would you?” Sylvie asks. “That would be great.”

“Happy to do it,” he says as he takes her phone and steps back to frame the shot. “Stay right where you are, you’re at the perfect angle to get the bar in the shot.”

He starts to count and as soon as he gets to three Sylvie turns Matt’s head with a hand under his chin and surges forward for a deep impulsive kiss. Matt’s hands instinctively go around her waist and pull her against him. The kiss is over much too soon. He feels Sylvie smiling against his mouth as she pulls back. She grins triumphantly at him before facing the stranger with her phone.

“Thank you so much,” she says as she accepts her phone back from him. “My name is Sylvie, I don’t think I caught yours.”

“Keoni,” he says as he shakes her hand. “And it was my pleasure. I love seeing people leave my place happy and you two certainly look happy.”

Sylvie’s eyebrows shoot upward and she gives Keoni her megawatt smile, the one that practically gives him heart palpitations every time he sees it. 

“This is your place?” She asks, excitedly. “I love it! Every bit of it.”

Keoni nods his thanks, smiling gratefully. “Mahalo! Come back anytime. Bring your friends!” He excuses himself to check on a few tables with one last wave.

“You really do love this place,” Matt says with a chuckle and a shake of his head.

“What’s not to like? Good food, Mai-tais, ukulele music?” she stops and gingerly lifts her floral lei off of her neck. “Free accessories? Honestly, what more could I ask for?”

He smiles fondly down at her, wraps an arm around her shoulders and leads her from the bar. As they reach the exit, he turns his head and presses a kiss to her hairline. “You’re completely adorable. You know that, right?”

“I do but feel free to say it as many times as you want,” she tells him, slipping an arm around his waist.

He takes her home and parks in front of her place for the second time in as many nights. He gets out and walks her to the door. He leans down to kiss her and leave like he did the night before but she backs away a step and smiles prettily up at him. He knows he’s in trouble the minute he meets her pleading gaze.

“Instead of a goodnight kiss,” she suggests. “Why don’t you come inside?”

“We have shift in the morning, I really shouldn’t stay late.”

“I know,” she agrees. “We work the same shift. Look, I’m totally with you on this taking it slow thing but I’m not ready for the night to be over yet. Please? Stella’s out for the night and we would have the whole place to ourselves.”

“I’m not ready for the night to be over yet either,” he admits, smiling warmly. “Okay, but I’m a little worried.”

“About what?” She asks.

“Every time I kiss you I walk away wanting more and more. So, I’m afraid if we start that, I won’t be able to stop myself,” he tells her, honestly.

She leans up on her toes to press a quick innocent kiss to his lips, but the smirk on her face when she steps back is utterly sinful. “Then don’t.”

She unlocks the door and guides him inside. She points him toward the couch while she hangs her purse and her cardigan by the door, giving him a view of _just_ the dress for the first time all night. Now he sees why she really needed that sweater.

It doesn’t have a back. It’s tied around her neck and the back is wide open through her waist. His hands had been one thin layer of clothing away from a wide expanse of her soft creamy skin all night long. He would have been much better off without that knowledge. 

She sits down next to him and shows him the picture Keoni took of them on her phone. It really is a good picture. She caught him by surprise with the kiss, but despite that even he can see the corners of his mouth pointing upward as he smiles into it.

“I’ll text it to you later,” she promises before setting her phone down on the coffee table and then reaching for lei he’s still wearing around his neck. “I think you’ve suffered enough for the sake of the date,” she teases. “Let’s get that off.”

She puts his lei and hers on the table next to her phone and then in one swift motion straddles his lap. It happens so fast that it takes him a moment to register the movement and decide where to put his hands.

Sylvie giggles quietly and then places his hands on her hips. “Try that. Better?”

He swallows thickly and nods. His mouth is suddenly dry and his pulse is thumping in his ears. “Much.”

“Matt, I know you want to take it slow,” Sylvie says, resting her hands on his shoulders. “But there’s nothing wrong with a little fooling around. I mean, if you want.” She rests her forehead against his and presses a light kiss to his nose. “I won’t try to talk you into anything you don’t genuinely feel ready for.”

“That’s not the problem,” he tells her. “Believe me, I’m beyond ready to have you all to myself behind a locked bedroom door for as long as either of us can stand it. But I don’t want to go too fast and screw this up before we even get it off the ground. Gabby and I moved at lightning speed and, looking back, I think that caused a lot of issues for us. I don’t want to have those issues with you. I want to get this right.”

“That’s a lot of pressure to put on yourself,” Sylvie says observantly. “I am really happy to hear that you’re taking us seriously but Matt... _relax_. I promise you, you’re not gonna lose me if you’re not a hundred percent perfect all the time. Just be in the moment with me. That’s all I care about right now.”

“Be in the moment?” He asks as he takes in her words. She’s letting him know one wrong move won’t ruin anything. How did she know he needed to hear that?

She nods. “Have a little fun. Do what feels right for you.”

What feels right for him. Those are dangerous words given their current position.

He lifts one brow and smirks at her. He rucks up the skirt on her sundress until her thighs are exposed on either side of him. He leans up, closing the distance between them, and capturing her lips with his. His hands slide under the skirt, gripping her hips. He can feel the delicate lace of her underwear against his palms. He squeezes her hips as he deepens the kiss, slipping his tongue past her parted lips. Her hips snap forward and grind into his while she moans into his mouth.

_Holy shit_.

Heat floods his veins and he decides to hell with it. This feels right. _She_ feels right. What does the timing matter? They’re both here and willing. That’s the most important thing.

Their movements are clumsy at first, they laugh through a few kisses until they find their rhythm. The kisses get deeper and longer and Sylvie’s hands start working on the buttons of his shirt. His hands are still under her skirt, toying with the waistband of her underwear. Once she’s got his shirt open, her hands feel their way up and down his chest.

He’s so fucking hard from the way she’s rubbing herself against him that he wishes she’d go ahead and reach for his belt already. He decides to push it a little, hoping she’ll take the hint. He slips his hands into her underwear. His hands squeeze and knead her ass, eliciting a tiny squeak from her.

Her nails lightly scrape over his bare chest on their way down to his belt and he moans as if he’s in pain. Maybe he’s not in any physical pain, but he’s for damn sure being tortured.

Her cell phone rings just as her fingers begin to tug on his belt.

“Forget it,” she murmurs while pressing her lips to his. “They’ll leave a message.”

The ringing stops and she refocuses on his belt. She’s almost got it off when the phone rings again. He pulls away from kissing her and drops his head on the back of her couch. 

“Just see who it is,” he tells her while he tries to catch his breath. “What if it’s important?”

She groans but nods, rising off of him very slightly to reach her phone.

Her brow furrows and she bites her bottom lip. Her face is still flushed from their...activities but there’s no mistaking the worry on her face.

“Who is it?” He asks.

“It’s Boden,” she says, taking a deep breath to compose herself. She stands and removes herself from his lap as she answers. “Hey, Chief. What can I do for you?”

He watches her pace in front of him as he straightens himself up. Whatever this is doesn’t look good. She keeps making little noises of recognition to let Chief know she’s still listening, but he can see the wetness in her eyes and the heartbreak in her expression. 

“Right, okay,” she says, swallowing thickly. “Thank you for giving me a heads up. I appreciate it.”

Boden says something else, Matt can just barely make out his rumbling voice, and then she ends the call. She stares down at the floor and shakes her head, avoiding looking at him all together.

“I worked my last shift at 51 and I had no idea,” Sylvie states, taking in a shaky breath. “I report to 105 starting tomorrow.”

“What?” Matt asks in disbelief. “How?”

“Riddle went over Hatcher’s head with his concerns and I guess he made a good case because the transfer has already been approved,” she answers as her face pinches and a tear finally slips down her face. “So, that’s that. It’s done.”

Matt shakes his head at her and stands to join her. “No, it isn’t. What did Boden say?”

“That he and Hatcher are still working on how to fix it but they’re getting a lot of pushback so it may take some time and to ‘hang tight’.”

He pulls her into his arms and rubs his hands up and down her back to comfort her. “Boden will work it out. Trust me, he’s not going to let Riddle win.” He pauses as he thinks back through her words. “Hold on,” he says, craning his neck to meet her tearful gaze. “Did you say you were transferred to _105_?”

She blows out a tired breath and nods. 

“But that’s the house that--”

“Knows you and I slept together? Yes. It is.”

“Riddle had you moved there on purpose,” Matt mutters through a tense jaw. “He had to. We won’t let him get away with it. We’ll figure it out.”

Sylvie nods but doesn’t reply. 

“Hey, come on,” he says, lifting her chin with his hand and forcing her to meet his eyes. “We will. I promise.”


	67. Out of Sight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sylvie's first shift at 105.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** Today has been an emotional roller coaster and right now I’m sad so I didn’t feel like proofreading. If there’s typos I apologize. I’ll be back to edit them later.
> 
> Happy reading
> 
> xoxo

******

_“Sometimes I wonder if I'm ever gonna make it home again,_

_It's so far and out of sight._

_I really need someone to talk to, and nobody else,_

_Knows how to comfort me tonight._

_Snow is cold, rain is wet,_

_Chills my soul right to the marrow._

_I won't be happy till I see you alone again,_

_Till I'm home again and feeling right.”_

_-“Home Again” by Carole King_

******

Matt’s mood is thunderous by the time he arrives at 51 the next morning. One look at Shay, Kidd, and Severide confirms they’re all in the same annoyed state of mind as him. Boden calls an officer’s meeting and includes Shay. They all know it’s about Brett.

They’ve barely been in the house ten minutes and it’s already eerie without her.

“I want my partner back, Chief,” Shay demands as soon as Boden enters his office.

Boden sighs tiredly and nods. “I want Brett back on 61 too. But right now no one’s budging. Hatcher and I are still working on it. He’ll be swinging by 105 today to meet one on one with Brett and Chief McCall.”

“Who decided on _105_?” Matt asks through gritted teeth. 

He’s trying very hard to keep a professional hold on his temper but the idea of Sylvie being at 105 with no back up against the people who gleefully tried to ruin her reputation is pissing him off.

“Chief Riddle recommended the location. It seems Ambo 95 had an opening that needed to be filled. Which is my own doing,” Boden answers with a shake of his head. “Chout came to me and requested to transfer to first shift at 51. He said he was in a bad situation with the PIC they brought in to replace Mills and I know he’s a good medic so I requested to place him permanently on our first shift.”

“Which means Brett got dropped into the same bad situation you pulled Chout out of?” Severide asks with a scowl. “That’s what that means, right?”

“Maybe. Maybe not. It may have just been an issue with Chout. After speaking with him it may have been clashing personalities,” Boden says, hopefully. Before giving Shay an amused glance. “You’ve worked with him. You know how he is.”

“Sure. He’s annoyingly upbeat, but Sylvie is upbeat too. She’s just less persistent about it,” Shay points out. “Who’s to say she and this PIC won’t clash too? Who’s the PIC on 95 now, anyway?”

“Jessica Chilton,” Boden replies. “You hear anything about her?”

Shay shakes her head. “Doesn’t ring a bell.”

“Chief,” Matt says after he takes in a deep calming breath. None of this is good news. “Brett cannot stay at 105. You _know_ that’s the house that was actively trying to ruin her reputation _and_ it’s a house that’s known for sexual harassment—“

“That’s why headquarters cleaned house over there a while back. How do you think a spot opened up for Welch in the first place?” Boden says sternly, cutting off Casey’s concerns. “They’ve placed a female chief in that house to put a stop to 105’s bad habits. I have worked with Chief McCall before and she is excellent at her job. She was the one who suggested Hatcher come by so that they could meet with Brett one-on-one. She’s whipping that house into shape. Between her and Lieutenant Welch I firmly believe Sylvie is in safe hands while we work this out.”

He shakes his head for a lingering moment before finally meeting Boden’s eyes. “If you say so, Chief.”

“I say so,” Boden states firmly. “I will keep you all up to date on the situation as we make progress. But for now, we need to talk about how we’re covering Brett’s vacancy.”

“I don’t want anyone permanent,” Shay insists. “Whatever floater you can get is fine.”

“I actually had a different idea. I don’t want to stir things up around the house right now by bringing in a new face so, Casey,” Boden says, turning toward his Truck Lieutenant. “Your candidate has his EMT certifications, last I checked. I want to move him over to ambo until I get Brett back on 61. Can you operate 81 without your candidate?”

“Absolutely,” Casey agrees. “As long as I get him back sooner rather than later.”

“You have my word,” Boden promises. “I’ll talk to Borelli when we’re done here.”

Boden moved on to more general housekeeping topics that he wanted to discuss with them before the Morning Brief and Matt forced himself to pay attention. His mind wanted to be on Sylvie. He wanted to check in on her, but the day had barely started. That might come across as a bit overbearing.

He’ll hold off till just before lunch. She’ll need time to settle in and adjust. He can wait till then.

Probably.

******

“Hi, I’m Sylvie Brett, your new partner on 95,” Sylvie says as she offers her hand to her new PIC.

“Jessica Chilton, but everyone calls me Chili,” she replies, shaking Sylvie’s hand with a wide smile. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“You have?” Sylvie asks, warily glancing around at the firefighters passing by the rig.

She nods and releases Sylvie’s hand. “From Chief McCall, she said your old Chief at 51 raved about you.”

Sylvie can’t imagine Boden raving about anyone, but she nods and smiles in thanks anyway.

“And Lieutenant Welch seems impressed by you too,” Chili throws in with a curious quirked brow.

“Oh, yeah, he worked at 51 for a while,” she explains. “Good guy, deep down.”

Chili laughs. “It’s the deep down part that I haven’t gotten through to yet I guess. He basically booted all the guys that were on Truck here when he came back. Squad’s been pissed at him about it ever since.”

“If he booted them then he had to have a reason,” Sylvie says with a shrug.

“Don’t say that too loud,” Chili warns her. “Seriously, you don’t want to get on Lieutenant Early’s bad side. He’s been at 105 forever and thinks Welch is a sell out. If you like Welch then he has no use for you.”

Sylvie rolls her eyes. “Then maybe I don’t have any use for him either.”

“Oh, she’s got some sass in her, I like it,” Chili says with an approving smirk. “I think we’re gonna get along just fine, Brett.”

“Well, if it isn’t Blondie herself.”

Sylvie turns with a smile and a scolding stare, knowing exactly who she’ll find. “Do you _have_ to call me Blondie? It sounds so condescending.”

“And that annoys you?” Welch asks with a knowing grin.

“Of course it does,” she answers.

“Then that’s why I do it,” he says with a laugh. He nods at Chili to acknowledge her. “How’s it going, Chili?”

“Oh, good, I think she’s gonna be a much better fit than the last guy.”

“Glad to hear it,” Welch replies. “You mind if I borrow Brett for a minute?”

“Knock yourself out,” Chili tells them before focusing on her partner. “I’m gonna get started on inventory.”

“Okay, I won’t take too long. I’ll be right there,” Sylvie assures her.

Welch starts to lead her into 105’s turn out room but Sylvie stops him by tugging on his arm.

“I am not going to be seen going into a closet with a Lieutenant on my _first day_ , thanks,” Sylvie tells him pointedly. 

“Yeah, well, I don’t want to be overheard so where else can we go? You wanna be seen in my quarters with the blinds drawn? Is that better?” He asks with a smirk.

“Outside on the apron, away from the house but in plain sight,” Sylvie insists with a fond but unamused glance. 

“Okay, okay,” Welch concedes as he turns and heads for the open bay doors.

Once they’re out of earshot of the house they stop to talk. Neither wants to risk any more drama.

“I just wanted to give you a heads up,” Tommy says, crossing his arms over his chest. “The Squad guys are probably gonna give you shit. I caught Early mouthing off about Casey in the locker room. I told him to shut his fucking ugly face, but all he did was flip me off so I doubt that helped much.”

She sighs and rubs a hand over her eyes. She’s already exhausted. “Thanks. I have a meeting in a few with Chief McCall and Chief Hatcher. Anything I should know?”

“Chief McCall’s a stand up lady but she doesn’t like in-house drama and she doesn’t stand for people with shit attitudes. You should be fine, though. She reminds me a lot of you. Tough but definitely merciful,” Welch says with a smirk. “Don’t sweat it too much, Brett. If all else fails I’ll watch your six.”

“I’d prefer not to _need_ anyone to watch my six when I’m not out on a call,” she tells him. She’s already homesick for 51 and the day’s barely started. “Thanks for the heads up about Squad and sticking up for Matt.”

He rolls his eyes. “I could care less about Casey, but I know you like him so…”

“Still,” she says with an amused snort. “Thanks.”

“You and Casey actually dating yet?” He asks with a quirked brow and a curious smirk.

She blushes and nervously tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “Yes. But it’s not even been a week yet so--”

“I knew it,” he says, cutting her off with a snicker. “Do yourself a favor and keep it between the two of you for a while. You thought the _rumors_ were hard to deal with? Going public will be _worse_.”

She huffs but nods. She hates it but she knows he’s right. “Yeah, I hear you.” She suddenly remembers something Chili said earlier and narrows her eyes at Welch as she continues. “Hey, why did you boot all the guys off of Truck when you came back?”

“Is that what they’re saying now?” Welch asks with a grin. He rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “I didn’t boot _all_ the guys. Just the ones that I knew were assholes with no hope of change. I’m still a dick but I’m a dick who’s better at my job than I used to be. I can’t have anyone dragging down me or my Truck crew. If they didn’t shape up, then I sent ‘em packing. Simple as that. McCall was a hundred percent supportive of that plan. Big changes take broad strokes, she said.”

“She sounds smart,” Sylvie tells him. “I like her already.”

“I thought you might,” Tommy says with a teasing roll of his eyes. “You should get back. Before your PIC gets pissed at me.”

“Good call,” she agrees. “See you later.”

“Yeah, later.”

Sylvie approaches the back of the rig and climbs up inside. She smiles at Chili and then points to the container of gauze. “You want me to take over? Since I skipped out for a few minutes I feel like I should give you a break.”

“Not gonna argue with that,” Chili says, immediately handing Sylvie the clipboard. “I’m gonna go take a coffee break. Be back in fifteen.”

“Sure,” Sylvie agrees.

Chili’s gone for a lot more than fifteen minutes. She’s gone for at least forty. Sylvie’s finishing up counting the last of the supplies when she finally shows back up.

“Done,” Sylvie says as she hands her the clipboard and bites back an irritated huff. “I’ve got a meeting with Chief McCall and Chief Hatcher. Are you good here?”

“Yeah! Totally good,” Chili assures her. “Sorry, I took so long. I got cornered by one of the squad a-holes. You know what it’s like being a woman in a house full of male egos, I’m sure.”

“Don’t worry about it. Inventory’s easy,” Sylvie says as she waves off her apology. Welch did warn her about Squad so maybe Chili really did get cornered by one of them.

Chief Hatcher walks through the bay doors as Sylvie’s hopping out of 95 and he stops to wait for her.

“I was just headed to McCall’s office myself,” he says with some combination of a wince and a smile. Hatcher never truly smiles so Sylvie supposes that’s the best he’s got. “We should head over together.” Hatcher nods at her new partner somberly. “Chilton.”

“Chief,” Chili greets. “It’s been a while.”

“Not long enough,” he says with a pointed glance. “Maybe with Brett around to keep you out of trouble we’ll see each other _less_. I would appreciate that.”

Chili’s eyes slide to Brett and then back to Hatcher. “Guess we’ll have to see how it goes.”

“Guess we will,” Hatcher replies before nodding Sylvie toward the doors that lead into the house.

He stays quiet until they reach McCall’s office. Her door is wide open and she waves them in. She heads straight for Sylvie.

“Hi, Sylvie,” she says eagerly shaking her hand. “It’s such a pleasure to meet you. Wallace speaks very highly of you. Sorry we didn’t get a chance to meet formally when you finished up your paperwork. It’s been a madhouse this morning between the knuckleheads I manage here and the ones I manage at home...well, I never get a moment’s peace.” She turns and shakes Hatcher’s hand too. “Chief Hatcher, always good to see you. Why don’t you both take a seat.”

As they take seats in front of her desk, Chief McCall shuts her door.

She’s blonde and petite, looks to be in her early fifties. Sylvie can tell she packs a lot of muscle in her petite frame. Her walk is all power and confidence. If she hadn’t been all smiles when Sylvie walked through the door she might be intimidated.

“I wanted Hatcher and I to have a one on one chat with you because I know this isn’t the easiest situation for you,” McCall says as she sits back down behind her desk. “I’ve worked directly under Riddle before and he’s... _ambitious_ , to put it politely. This move of his is absolutely about his ego and has nothing to do with you or your performance. But, regardless, I am beyond thrilled to have you here. Especially given my current medic situation. That’s another reason I wanted this meeting.”

McCall gives Hatcher an encouraging glance, clearly wanting him to pick up where she left off.

Hatcher clears his throat stiffly. “Right, McCall and I are hoping that you can bring a little of that 51 family dynamic to 95 for however long you’re here. Chilton’s not been the easiest to keep in one place and I think a little of Boden’s firehouse philosophy might serve her well.”

“You want me to...treat her to the 51 experience all by myself?” Sylvie asks worriedly. “I’m honored you have so much faith in me but...well that’s a bit of a tall order. I mean 51 is an entire firehouse full of people all supporting each other. I’m not sure just me is going to have the same effect.”

“There’s no pressure, Brett,” McCall assures her. “Just give it a shot. That’s all we ask. Chilton’s a good medic but her working attitude leaves a lot to be desired and Boden assures me you’re one of the most dedicated and determined people he’s ever worked with. He said you _care_ and care is exactly what Jessica needs.”

“Um, yeah, of course. I’m happy to give it a shot if you think it’ll help,” Sylvie agrees.

“Wonderful!” McCall says, brightly. “And if you need anything you just let me know. Copy?”

Sylvie nods. “Copy that, Chief.”

“Okay, well then you’re dismissed. Hatcher, I’d like you to stick around for a minute,” McCall says as she stands and shakes Sylvie’s hand again. “I look forward to working with you, Brett. We appreciate this.”

She leaves McCall’s office feeling more stressed and confused than when she went in. They want _her_ to fix some sort of attitude problem with her _PIC_? By herself? And what happens if she doesn’t? Is she gonna be transferred again? Oh god, what the fuck as Riddle gotten her into?

When she gets back to the Ambo, Chili is spread out on the gurney reading a magazine.

“Hey,” she greets. “You left your phone. It’s been ringing off the hook.” Chili looks up at her with a polite smile and hands off the phone. “You’ve got a missed call and lots of texts from a Matt Casey. Isn’t that one of the Lieutenant’s from your old house?”

“Um, yeah, he is. Everybody’s really close over there,” she answers. “He’s probably just checking up on me.”

“Seems like it,” Jessica says, focusing back on her magazine while she talks. “I’ve never had a single one of my lieutenants text me. Or any guy I’m not sleeping with for that matter.”

“Well, Matt and I aren’t sleeping together.”

Technically true and not a lie. They haven’t slept together... _yet_. Though they came extremely close to crossing that line last night. She almost had his belt off when Boden called.

Chili chuckles and it pulls Sylvie’s focus back to her.

“Maybe not,” Chili says with a smirk. “But you want to. If you didn’t then you wouldn’t look so flushed. Don’t worry, partner. Your secret’s safe with me.”

She wants to trust her partner. She truly does. But after that meeting with McCall and Hatcher, she’s not sure she can. “Um, thanks,” she replies lamely. “I should go call him back.”

“Go for it,” Chili assures her. “I’ll be right here if the bells go off.”


	68. We Tell the Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of shift and date number three.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** I haven’t written a new chapter so posting this one is eating into my lead BUT I really wanted to post this weekend so I’m doing it anyway. Hope you guys enjoy!
> 
> Happy reading
> 
> xoxo

******

_“Light pink sky up on the roof,_

_Sun sinks down, no curfew,_

_Twenty questions, we tell the truth._

_You've been stressed out lately? Yeah, me too._

_Something gave you the nerve,_

_To touch my hand._

_It's nice to have a friend.”_

_-“It’s Nice to Have a Friend” by Taylor Swift_

******

His phone rings as they’re getting back from a call. A backyard campfire gone wrong. Quick and easy with only one victim who had minor burns. He’d just finished putting away his turn outs and wasn’t in the friendliest mood, but one glimpse of Sylvie’s name on his phone screen and the whole morning looks a lot brighter.

“Hey,” he says as he answers. 

“Hey.”

Something’s off already. He can tell. She sounds...subdued. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” she answers. “Just missing you and 51. I feel like I’m trapped in some sort of mirror world or something. I don’t know. How’s it going there?”

“Good,” he replies, though internally he’s still stuck on the idea of her missing 51. “Borelli’s been moved to Ambo until we get you back. Chief announced it at the morning brief. Kid’s a team player. We’ve had one call. It was a dad trying to make a campfire breakfast for his kids. Fire got a little out of control.”

“Oh, that’s sweet. Was everyone okay?”

“Yeah, dad had a minor burn on his arm. Nothing major. What about 105?”

“No calls. Not even a morning brief. McCall likes to give people time to eat breakfast and take stock of the rigs first,” she tells him. “It’s thoughtful of her but...weird for me.”

He chuckles. “I bet. Boden said she and Hatcher were going to have a meeting with you?”

“Yes, we had it already. It wasn’t what I expected. Not in a bad way or anything. Just...I feel like they expect too much of me, I guess.”

God, he hates this. She sounds stressed and conflicted. Not at all like the confident and optimistic Sylvie Brett he’s been falling for over the last year. And there’s not a damn thing he can do about it right now.

“Hey, listen, how about after shift I swing by and pick you up and take you to breakfast?” He offers. “Breakfast at the house without you was not the same. I miss watching you methodically pick the cantaloupe out of your fruit salad.”

That finally pulls a laugh out of her. “Most people find that baffling. Everybody likes cantaloupe.”

“Yeah, well, I think I’m a little more obsessed with you than most people,” he admits with a self deprecating chuckle. “What do you say? Leave your car there and I’ll drop you back by it after?”

There’s a tense moment of silence on the other end of the line. If not for the tension he’d think the call had dropped.

“Sylvie?”

“Um, sorry. Yes, to breakfast, but can I meet you there? Things are still a little weird here after the rumors from before and I would rather not poke the bear, you know?”

There’s a handful of ways he could take that and he’s not sure they have time to break it down right now the way he really wants to. “I’m not sure what that means.”

“We can talk about it at breakfast. It’s not bad, Matt. I promise,” she assures him. “I’m just not sure where I stand in this house yet and I don’t want to stir the pot. Please don’t jump to any conclusions. We’ll talk after shift, okay?”

Anxiety crawls it’s way up his chest and he can feel himself wanting to assume the worst already, despite Sylvie’s express warning against it. “Okay. Meet me at Annabelle’s?”

“Trying to win some points by taking me to my favorite place, huh?” She teases. He can tell she’s trying to lighten the mood. It’s not really working.

“Right now I’ll take all the brownie points I can get,” he confesses.

“Matt, I promise, you don’t need brownie points. Nothing essential has changed since last night,” she states firmly. “And I miss you like crazy, okay? You should be sitting across from me in the common room frowning at the crossword puzzle with your second cup of coffee in your hand. Not across town in a totally different house.”

“Let me tell you something, that crossword puzzle is often wrong. I find the right answer but there’s not enough boxes,” he grumbles, jokingly.

She laughs lightly. “Uh huh. Sure, whatever you say, Lieutenant. I should get back to work. But I’ll see you at Annabelle’s in the morning?”

“You most definitely will,” he assures her. “I’m looking forward to being surrounded by bric a brac while I eat my eggs.”

“You love it. I know you do.”

He loves _her_. Or else he wouldn’t put up with the knickknacks. 

Hold on.

 _What_?

He hears bells in the background of her line. “You should go. Be careful.”

“You too! Tell 51 I miss them!”

The line clicks and goes dead, leaving him alone to examine what _the hell_ just happened. Sylvie wants to talk about something. She assures him it isn’t bad, but it sounds serious. And not only that but…

 _He loves her_? Already? Yeah, okay, his feelings started long before hers but… _love_? Jesus Christ, can’t he ever be on the same emotional page as his partner? Is that possible? He does this to himself every fucking time. 

Oh well, it’s not like he can change it now. He loves who he loves. He just has to hope Brett eventually finds her way there too. 

Shift passes excruciatingly slowly. It’s like the universe knows what he’s looking forward to most and wants to keep him from it. Finally, seven rolls around and Matt’s out of there as fast as he can manage. He’s pretty sure he’s never left the firehouse faster. He gets to Annabelle’s before Sylvie but he has to wait to be seated so she shows up before he has a table.

“Hey,” she says, greeting him with a warm smile and a kiss to the cheek. “Sorry I’m late.”

“Not late,” he assures her. “Right on time.”

The hostess comes over and guides them to their table. They sit and order first. Once their waitress walks away Sylvie takes a deep nervous breath and meets his eyes reluctantly.

“Okay, what’s wrong?” He asks as silence stretches out between them.

“The Squad Lieutenant at 105 does not like you,” she states, plainly.

“Oh, Early?” Matt asks knowingly. “Yeah, cause he’s a dick. Worse than Welch, if you can believe it. Why? Did he say something to you?”

He feels anger beginning to bubble up in his chest. Is that why she’s being so odd? If Early did something to her—

“No, I haven’t had the pleasure of talking to him yet,” she says dryly. “But Welch warned me. He said he overheard him saying some less than kind things in the locker room. He also warned me to keep whatever is going on between you and me, well, _between_ you and me. He thinks 105 finding out about us would be worse than the rumors.”

Matt scoffs. “It’s gonna be bad no matter when they find out, Sylvie.”

She’s in the middle of unfolding her napkin to place in her lap but she freezes the minute those words leave his lips.

“I realize that, Casey, but can we _maybe_ consider not letting them find out while I have to work there every third day for a full 24 hour shift?” She snaps.

He winces at her clipped tone and plays his response back in his head. Christ, he’s a dismissive jackass sometimes.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking,” he says, meeting her eyes with a heartfelt apologetic look. “It’s just...I know I said I wanted to go slow but I don’t want to go _backwards_. You know?”

“I know,” she says, with a stressed pinch in between her brows. “And we aren’t, Matt. I don’t want that either. I want _you_. But I also want to get along at 105. It would make my life so much easier if I could manage that. Isn’t there a way we can accomplish both? Moving forward with us and keeping it private?”

Secret relationship. Oh, how he loathes being a secret. But he’s sort of been here before. Gabby wanted to downplay their relationship in front of Welch and he did the opposite of her wishes. He acted like a caveman and threatened Welch if he didn’t treat Gabby with the respect she deserved. It didn’t help then and it won’t help now.

“Yeah,” he says with a thick swallow. “We can do that. You’re the one with the more stressful situation so we can play this however you want. I’ll follow your lead.”

“You will?” She asks with wide eyed surprise.

“I will. If you want to keep us... _subtle_ then I’m in. It’s about being with _you_. How we make that happen isn’t important,” he assures her, reaching across the table for her hand.

Her posture relaxes and she blows out a nervous breath, smiling softly at him. “Thank you. It’s only for however long I’m stuck at 105. I promise.”

He brings her hand to his lips and tenderly kisses her knuckles. “Don’t worry about it. You have enough to deal with as it is. Besides, it’s not that easy to get rid of me.”

“Good,” she says as her expression brightens. “I am emotionally wiped out after keeping my guard up all day so I don’t have the energy to argue anyway. God, I miss 51. Chief McCall seems great and I’m glad I know I can trust Welch but otherwise...I feel completely out of place.”

“What did you mean when you said you think Hatcher and McCall expect too much of you?” Matt asks with a furrowed brow.

“Apparently, there’s been a few issues with my PIC and they want me to _bring_ a little of the _51 family dynamic_ to 105 in the hopes that it will somehow help her?” Sylvie says with a shake of her head. “51 is a whole house. Not an attitude. I feel like that’s a lot to ask from one person. And what if I can’t do it? I mean, it’s...overwhelming.”

“I don’t know,” Matt says with a grin and a squeeze of her hand. “If we were gonna pick an ambassador for 51, you’d be a solid choice. But if that makes it too much don’t think of it like you're representing 51, just think of it as if you’re trying to help her. Like you would any other partner. It’s no different than that. Your PIC is Chilton, right?”

“Yeah,” she answers before narrowing her eyes at him. “How did you know that?”

“It came up in our officer’s meeting this morning,” he explains. “Chout rode with her before you. He’s on our first shift now. They had a clashing personality issue, Boden said.”

“She clashed with Chout?” Sylvie asks, nervously. “He’s like the nicest paramedic in the CFD.”

“And also one of the most annoying,” Matt says with a pointed glance and a chuckle. “Gabby used to hide from him in my quarters.”

Sylvie laughs lightly and nods. “I hate to say it but I totally get that. I understand being upbeat, but he takes it to a whole new level.”

“So, see? It could be nothing. Some people just don’t get along. Doesn’t mean she won’t like _you_ ,” Matt assures her.

“I guess,” she agrees begrudgingly. “I never have to worry about this stuff with Shay. How did Borelli do today?”

“Pretty good. The kid seems game for anything,” Matt tells her. “But everyone would much rather have him back on Truck and you back on Ambo. The house was eerie today without you.”

The waitress brings their food but neither lets go of the other’s hand. Sylvie gives him a small goofy grin as they both try to eat one handed.

“This isn’t gonna work,” she says, laughing while she tries to cut her pancakes up with her fork. “Matt, you have to let go.”

He pretends to consider it for a moment before ultimately shaking his head. “No, I don’t think so. I’m not having an issue.”

“You have eggs and bacon,” she points out. “You don’t have to cut anything.”

He shrugs, carelessly. “Not my problem.”

“Jerk,” she says. Though her smile contradicts the insult.

“You can do it,” he tells her. “I have faith in you.”

“Matt, seriously, I’m starving,” she protests with a grin.

“Fine,” he says with an exaggerated sigh. “I wouldn’t want you to starve.”

He releases her hand and they get back to breakfast in a much better mood than when they started. While they eat he thinks about what Sylvie’s revealed so far this morning. How much she misses 51 and how she feels like an outsider at 105. She needs a reminder exactly how much she means to their firehouse family. Her birthday may have just happened but being removed from them, even for just one shift, has been harder on her than she’s letting on.

“So,” Matt says after he takes a sip of his coffee. “Any plans tonight?”

“No, none. Why?” She asks.

“I thought we’d get a drink at Molly’s. Maybe get dinner before?” He asks.

She gives him a coy smile and wags her eyebrows at him. “Third date?”

He chuckles and nods. “If you’re free.”

“Oh, I’m free,” she tells him. “My night is suddenly wide open. Also, conveniently, Stella is staying with Severide tonight.”

“Isn’t that interesting?” He asks, feigning ignorance.

“Very interesting,” she replies as he feels her slide her sneakered foot up and down his leg.

“I’m working most of the day so I may have to pick you up a little later than last time. Eight, okay?”

She nods, her grin turning wolfish. “It’s a date.”

Not just a date. _The date_. God damn, he’s never hated having to work more than he does right now. If not for work he could follow her home after breakfast and spend the rest of the day completely wrapped up in Sylvie Brett’s bedsheets.

Guess he’ll have to consider it his reward for a hard day’s work instead and use it as incentive to keep him motivated. Honestly, there’s no better incentive than having her all to himself. He’s known that for a while now. 

******

Matt made some calls during his breaks on the jobsite. One to Shay, one to Kidd, and one to Otis. That’s all it took to shake the old 51 phone tree. Sylvie missed her work family and he was going to make sure she knew they missed her too. Everyone from the Firehouse, including Connie and Boden, would be making an appearance at Molly’s tonight.

They’ve just finished dinner and parked outside. They went to dinner at a nicer casual restaurant that’s not known to be frequented by first responders on Sylvie’s request. She didn’t want to risk running into anyone from 105 so that they could actually be on a date. He’s spent the night chasing away the nagging doubt in the back of his mind that the complications of their jobs and the rumors might convince her to back out of their fledgling relationship. But there’s been no distance and no lack of chemistry. She’s pressed herself close to him any chance she could get and he was more than happy to reciprocate.

But as he cuts the engine he can sense awkwardness flooding the cab of his truck. He knows what it is before she speaks. He expected it.

“If there’s anyone from 105 in there—“

“I know,” he says, cutting her off. He keeps his tone soft and reassuring despite his own insecurities. “Don’t worry, I’m with the program. If we see anyone from 105 I’ll keep a respectable distance.”

“Thank you,” she replies apologetically. “I’m sorry we have to do this but as much as I’d like to think Boden will get me back to 51 quickly we don’t actually know that and if I’m going to be spending time there I need to be somewhat comfortable. This will help.”

He takes her hand and gives it a comforting squeeze. “I get it. Trust me. You ready?”

She nods. “Let’s go.”

She takes his hand, threading her fingers through his, as they walk down the sidewalk toward Molly’s front door. When they reach the alley beside the bar, she squeezes his hand twice and then drops it while giving him a regretful look. He swiftly and discretely drops a kiss to the top of her head.

“Stop worrying,” he tells her quietly. “We’re good.”

He holds the door open for her, she smiles affectionately at him, and then wordlessly walks passed.

Matt follows her to the bar and stands behind her as she orders her drink. He motions to Herrmann, pointing between himself and Brett, indicating that she’s on his tab. Herrmann nods first at Brett and then at Casey.

“What can I get you, Lieutenant?” He asks.

“The usual,” he answers.

“Hey, Kid,” Herrmann says as he places Brett’s vodka tonic in front of her. “Glad you came by tonight. We missed you last shift.”

She beams at him. “Thanks, Herrmann. I missed you guys too. You have no idea how much.”

“Partner!” Shay calls from the back table where she and Stella are waiting. “Get your farmgirl ass over here!”

Sylvie chuckles before squeezing Matt’s arm and heading off to join them.

“How’s that going?” Herrmann asks him, grinning at Sylvie’s retreating back.

Matt nearly groans at the question. If he didn’t already suspect the house was gossiping behind their back he’d definitely know it now. One glance at Sylvie laughing with Kidd and Shay chases away his annoyance and causes an enamored grin to spread across his face.

“Pretty well, I think. Still early, though,” Matt answers.

“Early doesn’t mean you can’t be hopeful,” Herrmann reminds him. “She’s a good kid. Have a little faith, huh?”

Herrmann walks away to serve another customer, leaving Matt to contemplate his words.

Have a little faith.

Not even a year ago he thought he was all out of that.

And then Sylvie Brett walked into Molly’s.

Funny how life takes you places you never imagine you’ll go.

Otis and Cruz nod at Matt as they pass him on their way to talk to Sylvie. He grins and lifts his beer bottle at them in recognition. True to their word, all of 51 has shown up at the bar. Matt keeps his distance and lets her spend some time with her firehouse family. It’s enough to catch a glimpse of her glowing happiness or hear a snippet of a full joyful laugh.

He’ll have his time with her later. Preferably, _alone_.

Severide drops down onto the stool next to him with a smirk nearly an hour later. “Sylvie know you arranged this yet?”

“I didn’t,” he says with a dismissive shrug. “Not on my own. I had help.”

Kelly rolls his eyes and claps Matt on the back. “It was your idea, man. You did this. Own it.”

“Own what?” Sylvie asks as she approaches the bar and stands in between them, leaning her shoulder into Matt’s.

Matt gives Severide a silencing glare but, of course, he doesn’t give a shit.

“Own the fact that he had everyone show up tonight to see you,” Kelly tells her. “He put the 51 phone tree to work so you could see how much we missed you.”

She gives Matt a searching glance, from head to toe, before turning back to Severide. He can’t read the expression on her face. Somehow he finds that extremely sexy. He can always read her face.

“Oh, did he?” She asks.

“He did,” Severide replies.

Sylvie leans further toward him and speaks lowly so that only he can hear her. “Pay the tab, Matt. I think it’s time to go.”

Her tone is husky and his mouth immediately goes dry. He nods and swallows thickly while flagging down Otis for his bill. Her hand skims down the length of his back before she walks away, heading back over to Kidd and Shay.

Severide snickers and takes a slow sip of his beer, wordlessly watching Matt throw cash down on top of his tab receipt.

“You gonna thank me for letting the cat out of the bag or what?” He asks.

“Or what,” Matt answers as he slides off his stool. “Don’t wait up.”

“Wasn’t planning on it,” Kelly quips with half a smirk. 


	69. My Lifeline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt and Sylvie go back to her place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** Okay, well, I don’t have my four chapter lead back yet BUT I did finish a chapter and after the week we’ve had on twitter I feel like you guys deserve to read this next chapter more than ever.
> 
> Also, HERE BE SMUT. NSFW! Or public transport, or sitting next to your parents. Unless you know, you turn down your screen brightness and then go for it! ;)
> 
> Happy reading! 
> 
> xoxo

******

_“Flashback when you met me,_

_Your buzz cut and my hair bleached,_

_Even in my worst times, you could see the best of me._

_Flashback to my mistakes,_

_My rebounds, my earthquakes,_

_Even in my worst lies, you saw the truth in me,_

_And I woke up just in time._

_Now I wake up by your side,_

_My one and only, my lifeline._

_I woke up just in time,_

_Now I wake up by your side,_

_My hands shake, I can't explain this.”_

_“Dress” by Taylor Swift_

******

They leave Molly’s and set off for his truck, sharing secretive glances every few steps. Once they’re in the truck and pulling away from the curb, Sylvie takes one of his hands in hers. She holds it in between them with their fingers intertwined and her thumb caressing slowly over his. When they arrive at her place, she steps down from the truck as she throws a flirtatious glance over her shoulder.

He stays a few steps behind her and lets her lead the way. She unlocks the door and motions him inside first. After she follows him in, she flips the deadbolt and spins to face him, draping her arms over his shoulders as she goes.

“I told you that Stella’s out for the night, didn’t I?”

There’s that husky tone again. The one that makes him nervous and needy all at once.

“You did.”

She slowly walks him backward toward the couch. “Good. Do you want anything to drink?”

“No, I’ve had plenty to drink,” he answers with a grin.

His calves hit the couch and she gently shoves him down to sit. 

“That’s the right answer,” she says, grinning down at him as she kicks off her heels. She reaches for the fly of her jeans and slowly pulls the zipper tab down. “So, you really made tonight happen? Everyone from 51 being at Molly’s was your idea?”

He gulps and nods, unable to tear his eyes away from her hands as they push the denim down her hips. “After our talk at breakfast, I thought you might need the reminder that you do have a place where you fit and you always will.”

Her grin grows into a blinding smile as she slides her jeans the rest of the way off and kicks them aside, revealing her pale blue lacy underwear. “I do, don’t I?” She settles down on top of him, straddling him with one knee on either side of his thighs. “Maybe more than one place?” She relaxes against him, pressing her still clothed chest to his and framing his face with her hands. “I seem to fit pretty well _here_ too.”

She rolls her hips once to prove her point and he groans in response.

“Fuck,” he curses as he brings both his hands up to tightly grip her hips. “Yes—yeah, you fit pretty well here too.”

She keeps her lips hovering just over his and lets him see the challenge in her eyes. She’s gotten them started and now it’s his turn to set the pace. He wants this long and slow. The opposite of their first night together. He closes the distance and captures her lips, sweeping his tongue across her bottom lip. She whimpers and parts her lips, allowing him to kiss her deeply and lazily.

His hands slide back over her hips to grip her ass and hold her tighter against him. His jeans are already too constraining, but he’s determined to take his time. They’ve got all night.

Sylvie reaches for the bottom hem of his shirt and Matt releases his grip on her ass to hold his arms over his head. She lifts the shirt and tosses it aside -- no thought to where it might land. Her hair cascades in soft sunny waves over her shoulders. They brush against his bare skin as they continue to kiss and his fingers ache to run through them. He indulges the impulse, feeling her soft silky strands between his fingers.

Her nails lightly scrape over his chest and his body reacts to the sensation by bucking underneath her, his muscles clenching and releasing

She pulls back and smirks against his lips. “You liked that?”

“There’s not much you can do that I won’t like,” he says, huffing out a low laugh.

“Come on,” she says with a playful pout. “I wanna know what you _really_ like, Matt. I want to know how to drive you crazy. Make you totally come unglued. All your sexy secrets.”

Oh, holy _Christ_. “Right now, you telling me what you want to know is working for me pretty god damn well.”

His pulse is skittering and he feels nothing but heat all over his body. Coming unglued might happen a lot sooner than she thinks. He wraps his arms around her waist and sits them up straighter so he can adjust his hold on her and smoothly lay her back on the couch, centering his weight over her.

“What I _really_ like is you, Sylvie,” he says as he lowers his lips to the curve of her neck. He kisses a trail down to her sternum, pulling the boat neck of her shirt aside. “You’re what drives me crazy and makes me come unglued.” He nips at the raised ridge of her collarbone and memorizes the sound of the aroused hiss that leaves her as he does. “You don’t need to do anything special to make that happen.” His callused hands tighten around the bottom of her shirt, his fingers brushing the soft skin at her waist. “You do that on a daily basis just by being you,” he assures her, gently tugging the shirt upward.

He helps her pull her arms through the sleeves and then blindly drops it off the edge of the couch. He’s not at all surprised to find a lacy bra that’s an exact color match to her bikini cut underwear, but he is incredibly delighted.

“You wear this for me?” He asks with a knowing grin.

Despite telling him she wanted to know all his sexy secrets just moments ago, she blushes. Sylvie Brett, both innocent and completely dirty, it’s a contradiction he didn’t really know existed until her.

“I might have bought something special for the occasion,” she admits, with a coy smile. “You like it?”

The bra is an intricate mix of soft velvet and delicate lace, with matching high cut bikini underwear, in a pale gray shade of blue. She’s beautiful in it with her blue eyes on blonde hair. The color compliments her perfectly. So perfectly that his eyes are greedy to see more of her.

“I like it so much that I can’t wait to get it off of you,” he answers.

She laughs and nods. “Just the outcome I was hoping for.”

He traces one finger along the lace trimming the cup of the bra and watches raised bumps form across her skin. He lowers his mouth to the top curve of her breast, listening as she sucks in a sharp breath. Her hands immediately come up to the back of his head. They hold him in place while massaging over his scalp, letting him know she approves of whatever plan he has.

To be honest, he doesn’t have one. The only thing he knows is that he wants to taste and feel every inch of her. Every expanse of smooth skin is calling out to him. He licks, kisses, and nibbles his way across her cleavage and chest while his hands work their way behind her, feeling their way to the back clasp. Sylvie writhes underneath him, releasing breathless moans at every brush of his teeth and tongue. He finally finds the clasp and releases it. The straps go slack, sliding down her shoulders, and the underwire cups sit uselessly on top of her skin. No longer supporting her.

He reaches out to peel it away but she stops him, encircling his wrist with her hand.

“Jeans first, then the bra,” she tells him as her other hand tugs on his belt. “This playing field is far too uneven for my taste.”

“Withholding to get what you want, already, huh?” He asks teasingly.

She laughs and shrugs. “Girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do, Matt. Now strip.”

“Bossy,” he mutters as he stands from the couch. “I like it.”

He toes off his shoes, unbuckles his belt, and takes off his jeans — nearly kicking them across the room in his haste to be free of them. Sylvie giggles at his clumsy movements but once he’s standing in front of her in nothing more than his boxers she’s true to her word.

She slides the straps off her shoulders and holds the garment with a strap balanced on one finger just before she drops it onto the floor. He stays where he is for a moment to take in the full picture.

He missed out on that way back when. He had a single minded focus that night. Tonight is about a lot more than release. Tonight is about _them_ and how far they’ve come.

Sylvie must sense what’s happening in his head because she lays back and relaxes, creating an even prettier picture for him to memorize.

“Christ, you’re beautiful,” he tells her, amazement plain in his tone. “So beautiful that it hurts to look at you sometimes. Like _now_ for instance.”

A flattered flush rises on her cheeks and then spreads down to her very naked chest. That’s the first time he’s had the pleasure of seeing that reaction. He doesn’t plan on it being the last.

“Then stop looking and start _doing_ ,” she challenges him with a mischievous grin.

She doesn’t acknowledge his compliment and he didn’t expect her to. She’s modest to a fault.

“Come on,” he says, holding out a hand and nodding down the hall. “Time to relocate. The couch is great, but a bed is best.”

“You mean we’re actually going to make it to a bed this time? How _normal_ of us,” she jokes as she takes his hand and lets him pull her to her feet.

He slants his mouth over hers, once she’s standing, and kisses her thoroughly. His hands drift and cup her ass, squeezing and kneading. He moves one hand around her hip and across her stomach, dipping two fingers down to swirl the already sick nerves between her legs.

She whimpers into his mouth and breaks the kiss with a curse. “ _Oh, fuck_.”

He grins wickedly at her, memories mixing in with his lust. “There she is.”

“What? Who?” Sylvie asks, turning hazy half lidded eyes on him. His fingers push into her, very slightly. She shudders and grabs onto his shoulders as if she’s afraid she might float away. “Fuck, Matt!”

“New Sylvie,” he answers with a low rumbling chuckle. “Still cursing when I touch her, I see.” 

He removes his hands from her underwear, places them under her thighs and lifts. She wraps her legs around his waist and presses her forehead against his, eyes twinkling enticingly. “What can I say? You’re _good_ with your hands. I can’t help it.”

******

Matt carries her to the bedroom, nearly tripping when she grinds herself against him. 

“You do that again and it’s not my fault if I drop you,” he grumbles with a playful smirk.

She can feel him through his boxers. He’s hard and pressed against her at just the right angle. How could she resist? The friction felt too amazing. Plus, he teased her with his fingers a few moments ago.

“Fair is fair,” she tells him. “Tease me and I tease you right back.”

He sets her down on the edge of the bed and then crawls after her, forcing her further and further onto the bed until her back hits the headboard. Matt crowds her space. He nudges her legs apart with his knee and then settles himself between them.

She welcomes the weight of him on top of her. Her bare chest against his is a sensation all it’s own. His chest is covered in light blonde hairs that raise goosebumps all over her. They tickle and excite, especially against her breasts. Matt swoops in for a deep kiss, his hard muscled thigh rests between her legs and she has no control over the way she rubs herself against it. Especially while his tongue is exploring her mouth.

His large callused hands waste no time finding her breasts. He cups them and palms them and she nearly jumps out of her skin when the pad of his thumbs barely ghost a touch over her peaked nipples. It sends a jolt of pleasure all the way to the tips of her toes.

She buries her fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck just as he pulls away from the kiss. One of his hands slips between them and toys with the elastic of her lingerie.

“You wore these especially for me,” he says as his grey blue eyes darken to a turbulent charcoal. She did wear them just for him, but what he doesn’t realize is that the pale grey blue she’s wearing is a perfect match to his stormy blue irises. At least it would be if his pupils weren’t blown with lust, making them appear more grey than blue. 

“So, I should probably get a good look at them, yeah?” He continues with a roguish smirk.

She swallows thickly and finds herself unable to speak under the power of his heated stare. She nods and runs her fingers through his hair in lieu of a verbal yes. He grins crookedly and moves his kiss from her lips to the hinge of her jaw. He maps out her skin with his lips, kissing from her jaw down her throat and across the ridges of her collarbone.

She gasps and arches underneath him as he secures his mouth to her breast. The heat of his mouth and the swirling of his tongue around her nipple is almost too much. He switches his attention to her other breast, this time flicking the pebbled bud with his tongue. His name slips off her lips, sounding reverent like a player.

Holy _fuck_ , he is good at this. She knew that already but last time he didn’t pay her such _thorough_ attention. Granted, she still had a hell of a lot of fun. But _this_ was a completely other level. Last time, they’d very much went straight to the point. This time, he seems determined to toy with her until neither of them can take it anymore.

His lips trail down her stomach. As he kisses and bites and licks his way downward, she feels the scratch of his stubble on her skin. She’d noticed he didn’t look like he’d shaved when he picked her up for dinner. Now she _knows_ he didn’t. She's going to have some serious beard burn tomorrow. The idea of that completely thrills her. Matt leaving obvious evidence of him behind on her body is the ultimate turn on for her. She’s not even sure why. It never has been with anyone else.

He rubs his hand over her through her already soaked lace underwear and she jolts with a low moan.

He places a tender kiss over the waistband and runs his fingers over the high cut lines above her legs.

“Feels a bit like I’m unwrapping a present,” he tells her with a throaty chuckle.

“Except that underwear is far more expensive than wrapping paper,” she reminds him with a halfhearted glare. “Do _not_ tear them.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he says softly, as his fingers carefully curl under and around the intricate fabric. “Not if there’s a chance you’ll wear them for other _special_ _occasions_.”

He pulls them down, slowly. His hands linger over her skin as he drags them down her thighs and her calves. She feels a featherlight kiss to her ankle as her underwear is finally pulled away and discarded.

Matt settles back down between her legs and runs a barely there touch down the length her, from her clit to her entrance. Every muscle in her body clenches in anticipation.

“Pretty and pink,” he says in admiration.

She groans and lifts her hips toward him. Impatience is quickly overwhelming her. “Matt, do something or I swear to God I’m gonna spontaneously combust.”

He presses his lips to her thigh and she can _feel_ his shit eating grin being imprinted on to her skin. “Good thing I’m a firefighter then,” he quips before kissing and sucking on the inside of her other thigh.

She wriggles restlessly underneath him and whines through a soft laugh. “ _Matt_.”

He obliges her request without warning, nearly causing her bolt upright in bed when his tongue follows the same path his finger had earlier. It’s one long lazy stroke from top to bottom.

“ _Oh_. Oh God,” she murmurs breathlessly. 

What follows is an almost otherworldly onslaught of his mouth, tongue, and fingers. With every lick, breath, and stroke she ascends higher and higher. One hand pushes at his shoulder while her other rests on the back of his head and pulls him closer. It matches the push and pull she feels happening inside her. It’s as if she can’t take it but she can’t help but want it all at once. The closer she gets to exploding underneath him, the more her hips buck against his face. He wraps one arm around her waist and constricts his grip just enough to hold her steady. 

She’s on the precipice of it when his tongue rolls against just the right spot. It’s as if a switch suddenly flips and light explodes from every part of her. Her thighs quiver and her legs wind around him, tightening as her back arches and a shudder works it’s way up her spine.

He keeps right on kissing and licking as she rides it out, prolonging it beyond anything she could have imagined.

She crashes back down gradually, pulse thumping all over her body. Her breaths are coming out in pants and she feels simultaneously spent and energized. She doesn’t understand it and doesn’t think she ever will.

“ _Matt_ ,” she says through harsh breaths as he lifts his head from between her legs and smirks at her.

“Did I kill you?” He asks, with a confident chuckle.

“Almost,” she replies. “I think I definitely saw heaven there for a second. _Fuck_.”

He moans. “The way I love to hear you say that.” He kisses a path up her stomach and over her belly button before resting his head on her chest, just under her breasts. “You need a minute?” He asks in amusement.

She’s still catching her breath but she laughs and nods. “A short one. You’re _very_ good at that and I was not prepared.”

“Should I be offended or flattered?” He asks as he lifts himself off her and steps out of his boxers.

No show of it, no torturous presentation. He simply does it. If he expects her to keep up with their flirty banter now then he greatly overestimated her composure. The sight of him totally naked in her bedroom has her ready to go at it again much quicker than she anticipated. She remembers thinking he definitely didn’t need to worry about size during that first night after Molly’s and she’s glad to learn her memory is extremely accurate. She bites her bottom lip and takes a moment to look him over. 

Honestly, she never thought this would happen again. She’s happy she was wrong. The blonde hair on Matt’s chest gathers in a path that points down to the part of him she currently can’t wait to get ahold of. She has other reasons to be glad he worked her over with his mouth and his fingers aside from the insane orgasm. She needed a little warm up to prepare for _him_. Not that he realizes it, judging by the way he shifts his weight from one foot to the other as she stares at him.

“I’m memorizing the sight of you naked in my bedroom,” she explains, as she rolls onto her stomach and splays out across her bed. She rests her chin in her hands and kicks her legs behind her while she smiles hungrily at him. “That way I can recall this image _anytime_ I want.”

He scoffs through a laugh and shakes his head. “Condoms?”

She reaches out a hand and pulls open the top drawer on her nightstand. “Right here, Lieutenant.”

A pained groan escapes him as he reaches into the drawer. She swears his dick twitches ever so slightly. “You wanted to know when I like something?” He asks her, recalling what she said early that night.

“Yeah?” She asks with curious excitement.

“ _That_ ,” he says, pointing at her. “I like _you_ saying my rank in that sultry voice you just used.”

Her eyebrows lift and she licks her lips as she looks him over again. “Noted and filed, _Lieutenant._ ”

“Shit,” he curses as he grabs a condom out of the drawer and rips open the foil packet. “Gimme a second before you start using it against me.”

His face is red and his expression is full of concentration as he rolls on the condom. She’s both amused and proud. Amused to see him flustered and proud that it’s because of _her_. Seeing him lose his cool, even a little bit, is immensely gratifying.

She behaves herself and keeps her mouth shut, figuring that over the course of the night she’s probably teased him enough. She swings her legs around and sits up on the side of the bed. Once the condom is on he leans over her and takes her mouth with his. He pushes her back on the bed as they continue to kiss. His kisses leave her feeling as if he wants to swallow her whole. She understands. She feels the same way about him. Tonight, everything she’s felt for him has been all consuming. The rest of the world is forgotten and all that exists is him and her.

Once he’s on top of her again, pressing her into the mattress with his full weight, she wraps her arms around him -- under his arms, palming the well defined muscles in his back. One hand flattens against the mattress and he lifts while his other hand reaches in between them. He meets her eyes as he lines himself up to her entrance. He looks at her with a final question in his eyes, wordlessly asking her if she’s sure. She smiles softly at him and arches up to kiss him. She puts as much affection and tenderness in it as she feels for him and hopes he understands. Judging by the ardent stare he focuses on her, she believes he does. 

She feels the hard and hot tip of him a moment before he begins sinking into her. Stretching and filling her to the brim. Her head falls back on the mattress and her legs instinctually wrap around his waist. _Fuck_. How did she not notice how perfectly they fit last time? She doesn’t remember feeling quite so…

 _Complete_.

Matt presses his face into the curve of her neck and lets out a string of curses that sound endearingly worshipful. No one would say a prayer with those explicatives, but he makes a convincing case of it while he’s inside her. He places several kisses to her skin, over her neck and her shoulder.

“Sylvie,” he whispers. “Christ, you feel so damn good. I wanted to take my time but I feel like the second I move it’s all over. It’s been a while for me and I--”

He sounds stressed and concerned and it tugs at her heart. He doesn’t want to disappoint her. There’s no chance of that -- not after he tasted her so thoroughly that she quite literally _shook_ with pleasure.

She brings one hand up to run through his hair and over his scalp and brings his eyes to hers. “Matt, tonight has been amazing and nothing that happens from here on out is going to change that. I’m _truly_ good. You’ve more than taken care of me. Stop worrying and just let go.”

He visibly relaxes as he nods. He closes his eyes briefly and when he opens them again she sees nothing but heat and electricity. He pulls out and thrusts back in, hard and quick.

She cries out and grips him tighter, nails digging into his skin. Oh. Oh God. He may not be the only one to reach a quick release. She’s mystified. Truly mystified. They’ve done this before but the exhilaration and fulfillment didn’t even come close to touching _this_. He thrusts again and this time her hips lift to meet him, allowing him in deeper. It takes them a few more instances of rocking against each other to truly find their rhythm, and once they do…

They’re off to the races. 

The same pressure she felt as he was eating her out begins to build all over again. He may have been worried over nothing. She feels like she’s in an express elevator to oblivion. He’s taking her higher than she’s ever been _faster_ than she’s ever been. His movements become more forceful and his name tumbles out of her mouth in time with each thrust.

He’s moaning and groaning above her. They’re both rocketing into the stratosphere. Ecstasy is just ahead of them, waiting on the horizon line. He drops his head, resting his mouth against the shell of her ear. She’s so focused on the tension coiling inside of her that she completely misses his hand moving from her hip until his fingers are rubbing circles around her clit.

She whimpers, her muscles tighten and her limbs stiffen.

“I’m close,” Matt says hoarsely.

“Me--me too,” she replies, feeling the beginnings of tremors in her thighs. “ _Yes!_ Don’t stop touching me.”

He grunts in acknowledgment, matching the force of his fingers with the force of his thrusts. She’s not sure what caused him to think of it, but on his next thrust he pinches instead of rubs and _that’s it_. She’s fucking done and suddenly crashing down from an atmospheric peak in waves upon waves of euphporia. He releases a gutteral sound against her ear -- more of a roar than a groan -- as she’s practically convulsing underneath him. He pounds into her one final time before going completely rigid. He trembles through the remnants of his own bliss and then collapses on top of her, exhausted and serene.

She forces herself to breathe deeply and calm her heart as it hammers against her ribcage. While she breathes, one of her hands rests on the nape of Matt’s neck, soothingly scratching through his hair, and the other on his back, tracing calming circles.

As his breathing evens out, he peppers her with kisses from the hinge of her jaw to the hollow of her throat and back again.

“We’re doing that again in the morning,” she tells him.

A gravelly laugh reverberates around her, vibrating through his chest and against her skin. “You’re absolutely right we are. We’re doing that as many times as we possibly can from here on out.”

“That’s a good plan,” she agrees, brushing a kiss to his temple. “But right now, I have to pee.”

He laughs again, louder and longer this time as he carefully pulls out of her. “Way to ruin the moment.”

“Sorry, but when you gotta go, you gotta go,” she replies with a quiet giggle. “Come with me and clean up.”

“Come with you to the bathroom?” He asks, looking confused and bewildered as she climbs out of bed.

She gives him an amused glance as she pauses in her open bathroom doorway. “Matt, I’m standing in front of you completely naked, what do you think will be different in the bathroom?”

He rolls his eyes and grins dryly. “Yeah, okay, I’m coming.”

They clean up and brush their teeth. (She finds Matt a spare toothbrush.) They pick up their clothes from the living room, in case Stella comes home before they wake up, and head to bed. As soon as her bedside lamp is off, she snuggles into Matt. For a moment after she’s done it, she worries he’ll mind. Harrison wasn’t a cuddly sleeper and while Pete indulged her most of the time she knew he would have preferred to have his space. But Matt doesn’t hesitate. He kisses the top of her head and folds his arms around her while she rests her head on his chest.

It’s so cozy that her eyes begin to drift closed within a couple of minutes, a sleepy smile still on her face.

“Goodnight, Sylvie.”

“Goodnight, Matt.”


	70. Sparks Through the Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** I’m posting this a lot later than I intended BUT I had a brainstorming session about the rest of this fic with a friend tonight and I think I’ve nailed down how this portion of the story ends. The ending of g/r/r won’t be the total END of this universe. Just the end of this particular story in this universe. Not sure how many more chapters there are, as I start to firm that up I’ll let you guys know! I’m excited to show you guys what comes next!
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo
> 
> PS - HERE BE SMUT. NSFW. 

******

_“Fascinated by the facets of me I hated,_

_The beauty that I kept shaded._

_You brought the sun around._

_Said I'm too good to be on the ground._

_You wanna hold me, but you'll never hold me down._

_Yeah, you saw the hurt through the pain,_

_Saw the sparks through the rain.”_

_-“Gold Love” by Maren Morris_

******

Even with his eyes closed he can make out sunlight, which means it’s pretty late in the morning. It’s been a long time since he’s slept into the midmorning. He’s a morning person — a get up and go person, not always by choice. Lazy late mornings are for other people. They’ve never been for him. As a matter of fact, he’s already starting to feel guilty for letting the day slip away from him.

Until he remembers the warm soft woman cuddled into his side with her head of shiny blonde hair draped across his chest. _Then_ he understands why his internal body clock let sleep in.

He hasn’t woken up with a woman in well over a year. He forgot how _good_ it feels to start his day looking at someone he truly cares about. Well, _loves_. He doesn’t just _care_ for Sylvie. He _loves her_.

Last night, he was a goner the minute he slipped inside her. He knew he loved her before, but there was no lying to himself after that. He felt whole — complete. As if he’d finally found some long lost piece of himself. He’d truly loved Hallie and Gabby but he’d _never_ felt that before. Not with anyone else.

Only Sylvie.

And it’s bizarre because he didn’t feel that the first time around. That night after Molly’s, he didn’t remember _feeling_ much at all actually. He was broken and numb. Maybe that was why. He didn’t know Sylvie then. She hadn’t helped heal him yet. She wasn’t as essential to him then as she is now.

Sylvie stirs and curls further into him, pressing her face into his neck and causing her hair to fall across her cheek. Her nakedness is plastered to his side with one of her legs thrown up and over his and her arms secured around his middle. He grins and cranes his neck just enough to drop a kiss to the crown of her head.

Last night was more than he ever hoped to have again, with _anyone_ — let alone someone as kind and compassionate as Sylvie Brett.

He lies there for several more minutes soaking in the tranquillity of the morning and relishing having her in his arms. In the moment, it’s easy to forget anything exists outside of these four bedroom walls.

He’s lost in his thoughts when he suddenly feels Sylvie’s mouth trailing kisses down his neck to his shoulder. Just as he’s about to give her his full attention, she bites him. Lightly, but with enough force to surprise him. Something he’s learning lately, if there’s one thing that’ll get his blood pumping and his heart racing, it’s Sylvie’s mouth. Words or action, it doesn’t matter. Those full lips of hers have a unique power over him.

“If you’re hungry I can make you breakfast,” Matt jokes, turning his head to steal a kiss.

He feels her smile against his lips as they start to pull apart. “I’m not hungry for food, right now. Just you.”

“I think I can help you out with that,” he replies with a muted chuckle. 

“Yeah?” she asks as she idly skims her nails over his chest.

He arches into her touch while a short quiet moan escapes him and when he meets her eyes again he finds a triumphant smirk on her face. 

“You _did_ like my nails on your chest last night,” she says, eyes shining mischievously. “I _knew_ it. Should we see what else you like?”

“You wanna pace yourself?” He asks with a chuckle, running his hand up and down the line of her hip. “We have all day.”

“No,” she answers. “I don’t think I will.”

Her hand lifts from his chest to his jaw. She uses that hand to pull his lips down to hers. Her kiss is fervent and open mouthed, searingly intense. Her hunger must be contagious because suddenly he’s feeling it too. All consuming, distracting _hunger_. His arm is around her waist with his hand palming her hip, his fingers squeeze the smooth bare skin and pull her tighter against him. His other hand traces over her abdomen, stopping to feel every dip and curve as it moves upward to cup one of her breasts.

His mind is so full of the textures of her and the way her heat seeps into him from head to toe that he doesn’t notice her hand following the path of blonde curly hairs on his chest until it’s _much_ too late to stop her. 

He’s fully hard, and has been since she scraped her nails over his chest however many minutes ago. (She’s right. He does like that. _A lot_.) He expected all of this kissing and touching to be leading to him needing another condom out of her nightstand. What he doesn’t expect is to feel her slender fingers wrapping around the unyielding length of him. He grunts through the kiss and thrusts into her hand. His reaction is primal and immediate. Her touch anywhere on him is going to feel amazing, but having her hand working him is a special kind of bliss.

Her thumb swipes across the tip of him and he jerks back from the kiss, moaning and throwing his head back into her pillows. “ _Sylvie_.”

“You gave me a bit of special attention last night, Matt,” she purrs against the shell of his ear as he lays back on the bed. He’s powerless against the way he wants her. They both know it. “Now, it’s your turn.”

 _Special attention_ turns out to start with Sylvie straddling him and grinding her center against his. The angle and pressure are so perfect that he worries it’ll end too soon -- much like last night. He’s also a bit worried that she’ll forget herself and slip him inside her without a condom because Sylvie is certainly putting everything she has into torturing him.

She anchors herself with her hands on his chest, her thumbs caressing over his skin. Her senses seem attuned to his. He’s not sure how, but the second he gets too close to tipping over the edge she switches the pressure or the angle. She bends at the waist, leaning over him with her hair falling around them and captures his mouth with hers. She stops moving against him and lets her hands wander his chest again before dropping her lips to his neck and kissing her way down his throat.

She shimmies down so that she’s no longer straddling him. Instead she’s settled between his legs, still kissing him. Her lips brand their way across his chest and stomach, meandering and wet. While she’s kissing him, her hands grab a hold of him. Stroking and rubbing with an expertise that seems impossible to him. They’ve never done this before, but she somehow knows exactly the right ways to touch him and how to get the response she wants.

The closer he gets to the peak, the noisier he becomes. Moaning and groaning with guttural noises he doesn’t think he’s ever made before. His hips buck erratically as Sylvie’s hands continue to work their magic.

Her lips land over his right hip and then his left. He can feel her breath against him mingling with her touch and it’s quickly propelling him higher and higher until the point he thinks his consciousness might actually be leaving his body. There’s a very short fuse left on his control now. If that fuse is lit one more time he won’t be able to take anymore. 

Sylvie smiles against his hip. He knows because he has that smile memorized. Even pressed to his skin he recognizes it. She _knows_ he’s close and it only brings him that much closer to a complete out of body experience. 

Jesus Christ, she’s so damn sexy. 

He’s had his eyes closed this entire time, enjoying the sensations, but he has the sudden urge to watch her. To _see it_. He opens his eyes and glances down, just in time to catch her thirsty stare and wolfish smirk. His heart does double time in his chest, and he swears _everything_ stops. In slow motion, he watches her open her perfect mouth and lick the length of him from top to bottom, over and over again. Like a popsicle on a hot day. 

“Fuck,” he growls.

She lights his fuse for the last time and he goes off like a rocket. Briefly leaving his body to hit the ceiling. Sylvie’s lips move back up his chest, following the same trail she took down, while he shudders and shakes through the last of his release. 

She rests her chin on his chest and watches him as he breathes harshly. All the while wearing a proud grin. No doubt admiring her handy work and the obvious effect she has on him.

“You know what I just realized?” She asks him with bright amused eyes.

“What?” He asks, running one of his hands through her hair.

“We never even said good morning.”

He laughs and shakes his head. “No, I guess we didn’t. But with a morning greeting like _that_ I don’t think we need to.”

“Shower and then breakfast?” She asks.

“I’m in,” he replies, smiling softly. “And I’m in for whatever else you want to do today.”

“Oh, I see, so is this how I get my way in the future?” She asks with a snicker as she sits up and throws on his shirt. “Get you all blissed out and spent?”

“Would you judge me if I said _hell yes_?” He quips.

Her head tilts back as a rolling giggle escapes her. “I’m going to go start the shower. Follow me in when you’re ready.”

She snatches another kiss from his lips and then retreats to the bathroom.

Okay, so _maybe_ he could get used to lazy late mornings. As long as Sylvie is right there next to him.

******

An hour later, they’re in the kitchen debating what to eat when Matt has a sudden emotional epiphany. He’s watching Sylvie crack eggs to scramble while he listens to her tell him all about her new partner on 95 and he realizes he still has one final thing to do to move forward with his life.

To move forward with _her_.

Because he wants to do this right and treat their relationship with care. He wants to carry as little baggage into this new relationship as possible.

He’s got one pretty large piece of baggage left.

“I’m gonna put the condo on the market,” he announces, suddenly.

Sylvie freezes as she’s cracking a third egg and drags her gaze to his.

“Matt, you don’t _have_ to do that. I mean if you’re think that I need you to--”

“No,” he says with certainty. “This is for _me_. I need to do it. For closure. It’s been long enough. I’m healing and moving on with my life. I held onto the place because I couldn’t stand the idea of facing all of the memories I made in it, but you know what?”

“What?” She asks, giving him her full attention.

“I’m not scared of those memories anymore. I _want_ to remember Gabby. To talk about her. I want to tell _you_ about her,” he says before pulling in a deep breath. “I want you to see her how I saw her. Hallie too. They were huge parts of my life and even bigger parts of who I am now and I’m ready to share that -- with you especially.”

He can see her eyes watering and he can feel the sting of tears in his own, but he pushes past it. He’s not hiding anything from Sylvie. Not anymore.

She wipes her hands on a dish towel and then wraps her arms around his neck, pressing her chest to his. “I’d _love_ to hear about Gabby and Hallie. Anything and everything you want to tell me, I want to know. And if you need help moving the rest of your things out of the condo or looking for a new place then I’m your girl. I love packing, organizing, and real estate.”

His hands rest on her waist and his eyes roam her face. She looks open and earnest. There’s not a hint of dishonesty in her expression. She truly wants to support him through this and listen to whatever it is he wants to say. She’s leaving him with no doubts about that.

“I’m proud of you, Matt,” she says as she removes her arms from around his neck so that she can frame his face with her hands and keep his tearful eyes focused on hers. “You’ve come a long way since we met and I’m _honored_ to have been a part of that. Just like I’d be honored to see Gabby and Hallie through your eyes. They were important to you and I’d love to hear all the reasons why. If you truly want to sell the condo then next 48 off we’ll go over there together and see what needs to be done to get it ready. Okay?”

“Okay,” he agrees, smiling warmly at her. He closes the distance to gently kiss her lips and then presses his forehead to hers. “Thank you.”

“Anything for you,” she murmurs, closing her eyes and sighing contentedly. “Thank _you_ for trusting me.”

“Anything for you,” he repeats, ardently. 


	71. Like a Drum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sylvie's second shift at 105.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** Finished a chapter tonight! So you guys get a chapter! And this one has no smut. So if you're averse to smut, you're all clear! ;)
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“You bring out the best in me,_

_My heart beats to your rhythm,_

_And you give me all your love,_

_You hit me like a drum,_

_My heart beats to your rhythm.”_

_-“Beats to Your Rhythm” by The Shires_

******

She spent the majority of her off time lazing around her apartment with Matt. Yesterday seemed to be about getting used to being demonstratively affectionate with him. It wasn’t difficult. She’s by nature an affectionate person and Matt’s never shied away from a comforting or reassuring gesture when she needed one. But, if she’s honest, she didn’t expect him to be as affectionate as he is. When they’re alone anyway. 

She hasn’t had a chance to see what that looks like around their friends yet.

The entire time they locked themselves in her apartment he found some way to touch her. She loved it — _thrived_ off of it almost.

He leaves early in the morning, passing Stella on his way out. All three of them have to get ready for shift, the only difference being that Sylvie no longer reports to 51.

Her down time was so good that she nearly forgot. Matt did too. He starts to tell her he’ll see her at the house but before he can finish his sentence he remembers their current predicament. He talks her into letting Stella take her to work and pick her up. Stella backs him up wholeheartedly, making it impossible to say no.

“This way,” Stella tells her. “You see a friendly face before and after your shift.”

“And you have back up if you need it,” Matt adds, his jaw clenching. He huffs in frustration before he continues. “I’d like to take you myself but I know we’re keeping this between us.”

Sylvie kisses his cheek and gives him her sweetest smile, hoping to soothe his mood. “Would it make you feel better if I had Stella drop me at your place after shift instead?”

“Yes, actually,” he replies. “It would.”

“Good as done, then,” Sylvie promises. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

He closes the space between them and kisses her quickly, but it’s soft and sweet and still manages to turn her insides to mush. “See you tomorrow morning.”

He walks out, closing the door behind him, and she instantly misses him. 

“I’m trying really hard not to be jealous that you still get to report to 51,” Sylvie says as she forces herself to turn away from the door and face her roommate. “This sucks.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Stella replies, hugging her tightly. “They’ll fix it though. You’ll be back at 51 before you know it.”

“Before-You-Know-It isn’t soon enough,” she pouts. “Ugh, I guess I’ll go get dressed.”

Stella drops her at 105 and Sylvie heads in to put her stuff away in her locker and then hopefully get a head start on inventory. She turns the corner into the locker room and freezes.

Standing in the middle of the room, almost directly in front of her locker, is Lieutenant Early in nothing but a very low hanging towel. She averts her eyes and bites back a sigh. She was very briefly introduced to him last shift and he barely acknowledged her presence — not that she wanted him to. She’d prefer to stay under the radar with him, quite honestly.

She avoids looking at him and heads straight to her locker. She knew exactly the kind of guy Early was the minute she laid eyes on him. He reminded her of Harrison. He knew he was attractive and he _thought_ he was charming, but Sylvie saw through men like him now. They’re smarmy and often care more for control than the actual woman they end up seeing. They’re the _king_ of their castle.

Not her type. Not anymore.

She prefers someone more down to earth.

Like _Matt_.

Sure, Early is handsome enough. Chiseled jaw, a thick head of pitch black hair, green eyes, and a pair of well built shoulders. But he’s too perfect. Too sculpted. As if he’s compensating for something.

“Morning, Brett,” Early says as he turns a leering stare on her.

“Lieutenant,” she says, turning the combination on her locker and hastily opening it. Being alone with him in the locker room feels risky with the way he’s staring at her. 

She hears him behind her, coming closer. He leans against the locker next to hers with a predatory smirk. 

“You shy, Brett?” He asks. “You haven’t looked at me since you walked through the door.”

“Not shy,” She says, turning her head to meet his eyes defiantly. “Just giving you your personal space.” And maintaining mine, she thinks as she throws her duffle inside her locker. 

“Eh,” he says carelessly. “I don’t need it. I don’t mind sharing space with the hot blonde paramedic.” He chooses that moment to lean toward her, crowding her and forcing to back up one step. “How’s Casey, by the way? He still a sanctimonious bastard?” Early grins and then feigns an apologetic glance. “Sorry, you two are close, aren’t you?”

“He’s a friend,” Brett says, slamming her locker door shut and shoving her balled up fists in her hoodie pockets.

“More than that from what I heard,” Early says with a dark chuckle. “Hey, you know, if it’s ever slow, I’ll be happy to keep you entertained. Trust me, not all Lieutenants are wet blankets like Matt Casey.”

“I appreciate the offer,” Brett says, holding her false smile steady. “But I think I’d be better off with a magazine or a puzzle.”

“Pity,” he says, slowly panning his gaze down the length of her. “I was under the impression you liked to have a little fun every now and then.”

“Fun’s over rated,” she quips. “I prefer... _substance_.”

His eyes narrow and flash with anger. “I see. Blondie’s got jokes, huh? That’s fine. I don’t need Casey’s sloppy seconds anyway.”

“Everything okay in here?” A loud tense voice asks from the doorway.

Sylvie barely withholds her sigh of relief at the sound of Welch’s voice. She needs to get out of here as soon as possible. She’s feeling some gut wrenching combination of fury and fear, leaving her frozen to the spot. She wants to hurl some snappy comeback at him but all she can think about is how close he’s standing and the way he looms over her in a wall full of intimidating muscle.

“Fine,” Early says, pointing a condescending smile at Welch. “Just officially introducing myself to the new girl. Is that a problem?”

“It is when you’re in her face like that,” Tommy says, stomping a few steps closer. “Back off and show some respect, asshole.”

“Whatever, we’re done here anyway,” Early says with a scowl. “See you around, Brett.”

He disappears around the corner toward the shower stalls and as soon as he’s out of sight Brett slumps against her locker.

“Matt was right,” Sylvie tells Welch as she takes in a nervous breath. “He _is_ a dick.”

Welch snorts and crosses back to his locker. “Casey and I don’t agree on much but we do agree on that. You okay?”

“Glad you showed up when you did,” Sylvie admits. “But otherwise fine. That guy gives me the creeps. He reminds me of my ex-fiance or...Pat Pridgen.”

Welch grimaces at her but then nods his agreement. “The Pridgen comparison isn’t that off base, I gotta admit. Be careful around him, Brett. He’s a loose canon. He doesn’t take rejection all that well.”

Something that would have been good to know before she mocked him to his face. 

_Shit_.

“I think Matt’s rubbing off on me more than I realized,” Sylvie says with a sigh and a hoarse chuckle. “Taunting him like that was _so_ not me.”

Welch shrugs and smirks. “I don’t know. I seem to remember you telling me off pretty good. Doesn’t seem that out of character to me.”

Sylvie laughs and smiles apologetically at him. “Yeah, that was me, wasn’t it? To be fair, you totally deserved it.”

“I did,” Welch admits, grinning sheepishly. “And so does Early. He’s a bastard.”

“Well, thanks again,” she says. “I should get to the ambo and start inventory.”

“Hey,” Welch says, before she turns away.

Her eyes meet his expectantly. 

“Be careful with Chilton. I heard her talking to a few of the Squad guys on my way in, telling them all about how Casey blew up your phone last shift. I know you’re used to trusting your partner, but you might want to tread lightly with Chili. Watch your back, alright?”

Sylvie groans but nods. “Perfect, just what I need. Thanks for the heads up.”

“Anytime,” Welch replies with a sympathetic smile. “Sorry you have to be here. You don’t deserve any of this.”

“Yeah, well, it doesn’t matter. I’m here now and I have to find a way to make the best of it,” she replies, more to herself than to him. “See you later, Welch.”

The day’s barely started and already she’s been propositioned and betrayed. 

Fucking fantastic.

******

Matt checks his phone for what feels like the thousandth time since lunch. Still no replies or messages or returned calls from Sylvie. He’s worried. Sure, maybe she’s gotten busy and shift is hectic but there’s a nagging feeling in his gut telling him it’s something else.

Shay and Borelli had been called to a scene that 105 had been assigned. They needed back up ambos for an electrical fire in an office building. Ambo 95 was sure to be there too. He’d resorted to anxiously watching for Shay to return. 

He looks up from his phone just in time to see Shay heading for his quarters with Severide right behind her. They both step inside and Severide shuts the door behind him.

Shay wastes no time and cuts right to the chase.

“I saw Brett and I have concerns.”

Matt is up and out of his chair in a split second, standing across from Leslie with a worried expression. “What sort of concerns?”

“First of all, she would barely talk to me in front of her partner. Don’t know what that was about. Second of all, Welch was stuck to her like glue. It was like he was running interference or something. That’s weird, right?” Shay asks, crossing her arms over her chest. “Has she said anything to you about it?”

“Uh, no,” Matt says, blowing out a frustrated breath. “She hasn’t said anything to me _at all_. Radio silence.”

“What?” Severide asks. “Nothing?”

“Not a peep. I gave up trying after dinner. I’m gonna trust she has a reason for blowing me off,” he tells him. “But I’m concerned too.” He pauses and turns back to Shay. “How did she look to you?”

“Focused, but tense,” Shay replies. “You know how she is, heart on her sleeve, right? Well, not today. Not at that scene. She had her guard all the way up. It was bizarre.”

“She said something about that after her first shift there,” Matt states with a sigh. “About how exhausting it was to keep her guard up all day.”

“I hate this,” Shay sneers. “I don’t like not knowing what’s going on over there.”

Matt scoffs bitterly. “Tell me about it.”

“Boden and Hatcher better fix this as soon as possible. I want my partner back. I don’t trust this Chilton chick,” Shay tells them, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Look,” Severide says with a sympathetic smile. “We have to let Boden and Hatcher handle this. That’s their job. _Our_ job is gonna be to remind Brett that she has 51 behind her no matter what — to be her friends. Her support. Just focus on that and we’ll all be fine.”

“Who are you?” Shay asks him with narrowed eyes. “When did you get so _soft_?”

“I’m not soft!” Kelly protests.

Shay tilts her head at Severide and elbows Matt gingerly. “Eh, Casey, verdict? Soft or not soft?”

Casey smirks between them and then shrugs. “It’s a little soft.”

“Man, whatever!” Severide exclaims, waving them off. “It’s Brett, alright? She’s like my kid sister or something. Nobody gets to mess with her except me. We’re gonna be there for her and make sure she remembers who her friends are. End of story.”

“Definitely soft,” Shay mutters, leaning closer to Matt.

Matt huffs out a laugh but claps his friend on the shoulder, ignoring Shay and addressing him directly. “You’re right. That’s exactly what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna make sure she knows that even if she's not on shift with us, she’s still a part of 51.”

And that starts as soon as Stella drops her off at their place in the morning. God, he misses her. It’s not even been 24 hours yet. How pathetic is that?

He blinks away his pining expression and finds both Shay and Severide smirking at him knowingly. So, not only is he pathetic but he’s also obvious.

“Now look who’s soft,” Severide says with a smirk.

“He’s dating her! He’s supposed to be soft!” Shay tells him, before grinning at Matt and wagging her eyebrows suggestively. “ _Most_ of the time anyway.”

“Jesus,” Matt replies as he feels his entire face turning red in embarrassment. “The both of you get out,” he says dryly, jokingly pointing toward the door. “Get out right now.”

“Oh, please, you love me,” Shay says, laughing as she moves toward the door. “You know you do.”

“I don’t.”

“Deny it all you want, we all know you’re lying.”

******

Matt goes straight home after shift. Stella leaves the house headed for 105 to pick up Sylvie which gives Casey just enough time to get home and make sure no one left any messes behind. With his particular roommates, it’s always best to check.

As he walks through the door, he checks his phone and finds a reply to nearly every message he sent Brett throughout the day. 

The last message reads, _“Sorry to stonewall you! I hated to do it, but that house has eyes everywhere. We’re almost to your place. I’ll explain more soon.”_

That doesn’t sound encouraging.

She and Stella arrive a few minutes later. Sylvie is still in her paramedic’s shirt and trousers, but her hair is out of it’s usual french braid and tumbling over her shoulders in waves. She looks just as gorgeous as ever, but he easily spots the exhausted expression on her face.

Her face lights up and her duffle is tossed aside as she charges him. He chuckles as she collides against him, banding her arms around his back.

“Oh my God, is it ever a relief to see you after the last 24 hours,” she says into the crook of his neck.

“What am I, chopped liver?” Stella asks with a scoff and a teasing grin.

“I’ve already seen you today,” Sylvie quips, lifting her face from his shoulder and pointing a mirthful glance at Stella.

“Fine, fine,” Stella says, walking passed them to Severide’s room -- smiling knowingly the entire time. “I always knew you were the type to abandon me for your boyfriend.”

Sylvie chuckles and shrugs without bothering to refute Stella’s mock accusation. “I mean, have you _seen_ him? Can you blame me?” She calls after her.

Casey’s eyebrows lift and he feels himself blushing slightly. He flashes a smile at Sylvie that he knows looks hopelessly besotted. That’s exactly what he is. And also relieved that she seems to be in good spirits despite looking completely worn out.

“Boyfriend, huh?” He asks her as he grabs her hand and threads their fingers together.

She nods and turns to him with a coy half lidded gaze. “Well, I don’t plan on seeing other people so that’s what you are, isn’t it? Is that okay?”

He nods and then leads her to his room. “More than okay. I don’t have an issue with labels.” He stops when they reach his door and plants a soft lingering kiss on her. He smirks and rests his forehead against hers after he pulls back. “ _Girlfriend_.”

She giggles and shakes her head, blushing just as he had earlier. “That sounds so ridiculously high school, and yet...a little thrill ran up my spine when you said it. God, now I’m cheesy on top of hopeless.”

Laughing with her as he pulls her into his room, he shuts the door behind them. “How was shift? Your text has me worried.”

He turns his back on her for a moment to rummage through his drawers — searching for something more comfortable for her to wear.

“Had my first up close encounter with Early today,” she tells him as she kicks off her shoes and sits down on the foot of his bed. “You were right. He’s a dick. You know, he actually hit on me in the middle of the locker room?” She rolls her eyes and folds her legs underneath her. “Asshole.”

Matt tenses just as he finds the old basketball shorts and worn t-shirt he was going to let her borrow and faces her with a furious expression. “He hit on you? Exactly _how_ did he hit on you?”

“Matt, it’s okay. _I’m_ okay,” she assures him, meeting his eyes pointendly with a solemn expression. “It was nothing I hadn’t heard before and he kept his hands to himself. Dealing with him was far less stressful than riding with Chili all day.”

He breathes in deeply, using her words and sincere expression to soothe his anger. The idea of Early laying a hand on Sylvie threatens to send him spiraling into a fit of rage. He’d like to think he’s grown passed that by now but nearly storming into Boden’s office to murder Pridgen earlier this year says otherwise. Okay, maybe he wouldn’t have actually murdered him, but he would have come close.

He hands Sylvie the clothes he clutches in his hands and then leans against his dresser, forcing himself to relax. “What makes riding with Chilton--Chili?”

“She likes to be called Chili. Hates the name Jessica.”

“Right, okay. What makes riding with Chili so stressful?”

“I’m not sure I can trust her,” Sylvie admits with a furrowed brow while she stands from the bed and begins to change clothes. 

She peels off her shift first, further distracting Matt from his anger at the sight or her creamy skin and toned muscles. Sylvie definitely takes care of herself, no one could question that. 

“She told the house about how you blew up my phone last shift with texts and phone calls. Welch said he overheard her talking about it with some of the Squad guys -- Early’s guys. The very guys I’m trying to avoid a problem with. That’s why I ignored my phone today. I didn’t want her saying anything to anyone.” She sighs and slips his old faded Blackhawks shirt over her head, lifting her soft blonde waves out of the crew neck. “Which also means I have to be careful what I say to other people in front of her, so when I ran into Shay I panicked and clammed up on everything. Did you know that I’m extremely bad at keeping secrets?”

He chuffs through a laugh and crosses his arms over his chest. “I’ve managed to put that together, yes.”

“So you could probably also manage to put together that spending the whole day keeping _all my secrets_ from someone has left me completely _depleted_ , right?”

He nods and moves toward the head of the bed as she changes from her paramedic trousers into his shorts. Pulling back the comforter and the sheets, he gestures toward the empty bed. “Then I’m assuming you need to recharge?”

“Yes,” she replies before throwing him an enticing smile. “But not without you.”

He smirks at her with a raised brow. “If I join you will you actually _sleep_ or are we going to get distracted?”

“I promise to be a _good girl_ and not get _distracted_ ,” she says as she slips under the covers and imploringly folds her hands under her chin. “Please?”

He sighs dramatically as if it’s some big sacrifice to crawl into bed with her, but they both know he’s just as eager to be close as she is. 

“Okay, fine,” he agrees, shucking his jeans. “But I do still need to talk to Shay and Severide about the condo so that we can go over there and get to work cleaning it out.”

She nods as she watches him approach the other side of the bed in his t-shirt and boxers. Waiting patiently for him to slip under the covers, she smiles warmly at him.

“I know. Just a quick power nap and then on with the day, I swear. Besides, spending 24 hours apart and not even being able to talk to you was hard. I need some private Matt Casey time to make up for it.”

Well, when she puts it like that, how can he refuse?

The second he’s tucked under the blankets, she latches on. He chuckles as she rolls over and swings a leg over his. She’s laying down with her chest half on top of him, head on his chest, and arms around his neck.

“So much better than a boring old pillow,” Sylvie says sleepily, fingers running through the hair at the nape of his neck.

He smiles down at her and presses his lips to the top of her head. “Good to know.”

Laying with her in his bed is cozier and more peaceful than he imagined it would be. Falling asleep with his head in her lap was one thing, but this is a whole other level of comfort. He had no idea he was tired but he finds himself being lulled to sleep by her deep even breaths and steady heartbeat.

Clearly, his body knows what he needs even when he doesn’t and right now it needs a nap and a cuddle with Sylvie Brett.

He has no plans to resist.


	72. River of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt shares some news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** I finished another chapter! So you get another chapter! This is another smut free chapter. And definitely fluffy. Hopefully you like it!
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“You rock and you roll and you go with the flow,_

_Living on a river of love._

_You laugh and you cry, it's a hell of a ride,_

_Living on a river of love._

_It's sweet, free and easy when the water is rough,_

_Won't you come and meet me on the river of love?”_

_-“River of Love” by The Shires_

******

A couple of hours later, he awakes to find himself clutching Sylvie to his chest like a kid would cling to a teddy bear. He yawns and then glances down to see her chin propped on his chest. A tender smile is sleepily stretched across her face as she watches him while he blinks himself awake.

“Hey there,” she says softly. “Sleep well?”

“Better than I expected,” he admits. “I didn’t even know I was tired.”

“Then I guess you’re glad I was here to use my feminine wiles on you, huh?” 

She grins up at him, looking perfectly angelic and innocent, and he snorts through a chuckle.

“Feminine wiles? Is that what that was?” He asks.

“Duh,” she replies, laughing softly -- her voice still raw from sleep. “And now I’m hungry so I’ll use my feminine wiles to get you to make me some breakfast.”

“Man, those feminine wiles are really working overtime today,” he quips with a wry grin.

She nips at him through his shirt, without much force, but he still jumps. 

“Watch it, buster. You don’t want me taking a bite out of you instead of a pancake, do you?” She asks, with a playful smirk.

“Pancakes? Is that what I’m making?” He asks, huffing out groggy laugh.

“Blueberry _and_ chocolate chip” she answers with a nod.

“It’s cute that you think you’re gonna find blueberries in Severide and Shay’s fridge.”

She lets out a bark of laughter that he finds entirely too charming and concedes his point. “Fine, just chocolate chip then. With whip cream. You have whip cream, right?”

“Sure, but I doubt it was bought with the intention of being used on _pancakes_.”

Her nose scrunches up in disgust before her horror transitions into a fit of bright rolling giggles. “Oh my god, okay we won’t touch the whip cream. Or the chocolate chips. Just plain _basic_ pancakes.”

“Sounds delicious and perfectly innocent,” he agrees, grinning mischievously.

She pops a quick kiss to his cheek and then slips out of his reach and out of the bed. He knows he told her he wanted to make sure to talk to Shay and Severide today and make it out to the condo but after a cozy morning nap he’s thinking of changing his mind. He’d be fine staying right here with her all day.

Her eyes narrow on him as she stands and she points a scolding finger at him. “No, you don’t. You wanted to get stuff done today and that’s exactly what we’re doing,” she says, as if she can read his mind. Hell, he thinks, she probably can. “Up-and-at-em! Let’s go! You need to catch Shay and Severide before they do whatever it is they do on our days off.”

He sighs, laboriously, and rolls out of bed. “Fine, I guess you’re right.”

“Of course I am,” she quips as she tosses him his jeans with a wink.

“You want me to go out there and get your duffle so you can change before breakfast?” He asks, smirking as his eyes scan over her in his borrowed clothes.

“No,” she says with a confused wrinkle between her brows. “Do _you_ want me to change?”

Shit, somehow he tapped into an insecurity. He can see the hurt in her expression as if he were rubbing salt in an old wound. He finishes fastening the button fly on his jeans and then steps into her space, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her into him.

“Absolutely not,” he assures her, reaching up and smoothing a thumb over the crease between her brows. “Just didn’t want you to feel like you couldn’t take the time to change if you needed it. That’s all.”

“I mean, everyone in this apartment knows we’re seeing each other so I wasn’t really worried about it,” she tells him, crease slowly fading. There’s lingering worry in her eyes, though. He can still make it out. “Should I worry about it?”

“Sylvie, honestly,” he says as he dips his head to place a lingering kiss against the corner of her mouth, leaving his forehead pressed to hers once he’s done. “I wasn’t giving you some sort of secret coded message. I only wanted you to feel comfortable. If you’re comfortable in my clothes then I am thrilled and delighted to watch you prance around in them. _Trust me_.”

The worry vanishes and is replaced with a beaming smile and a modest blush. “If you’re sure?”

He nods and then dives in for a kiss, deep and burning. Her hands fist in his t-shirt and his slip back into her silky curtain of sunny blonde hair, rumpled from sleep. This kiss is languid, searching, as if they weren’t just talking about moving on with the day -- as if they have all the time in the world. 

He steals one more chaste kiss as they pull away for air, grinning like a loon. “I’m sure.” He slips his hand into hers, interlocking their fingers. “Come on, let’s go see what they’re up to and get you some breakfast.”

He brings the back of her hand to his lips before he opens the bedroom door and tugs her out into the hallway.

The minute they reach the living room they find Kelly and Leslie seated with cups of coffee nestled in their hands.

“Morning, you two,” Severide greets with a sly knowing smirk. “Brett, I didn’t know you were a Blackhawks fan.”

Her brow furrows in confusion before Matt smirks at her and tips his head toward her shirt. She glances down and then a soft giggle escapes her.

“Oh, uh, well you know, I’m a Chicago girl now. I guess I kinda have to be, don’t I?” She asks with a cheeky smile.

“Damn straight,” Matt agrees, pulling a stool away from the breakfast bar for her.

Shay rolls her eyes and scoffs. “You don’t _have_ to be anything you don’t want to be, partner. Not to pander to these jackasses anyway.”

Matt and Kelly make mock noises of offense. “The Blackhawks are sacred,” Severide tells her. “Stop spouting bullshit. Of course she has to like them.”

Shay catches Sylvie’s gaze and shakes her head discreetly. Sylvie chuckles at her as Matt shoves a coffee mug in her hands -- a _Blackhawks_ mug to be precise.

“Alright, I’m making breakfast,” Matt declares. “Pancakes, bacon, and eggs. Who’s hungry?”

“Woah,” Kelly says as he stands from the couch. “You’re making breakfast? _For us_?”

“What?” Matt asks with a scowl. “I cook.”

“Yeah, you do but you haven’t in a long time,” Shay points out. Her eyes narrow on him suspiciously. “What’s going on here?”

“Are we in a fight that I don’t know about?” Severide asks him, looking confused. “Last time you cooked we were mad at each other.”

An indelicate snort sounds from Sylvie’s spot at the breakfast bar. “You apologized to your best friend by cooking him food?” She asks, looking both affectionate and amused. “You’re adorable.”

“It was the Saturday Corned Beef! And it wasn’t just for him, it was for the whole house!” Matt clarifies. “And nothing is going on. I just thought that since we’re all here I’d cook us breakfast and maybe we could...I don’t know, talk.”

“ _Talk_?” Shay asks, trading a concerned look with Severide. “That sounds ominous.”

Sylvie reaches across the counter and squeezes his hand. “Matt, just tell them. They’re freaking out.”

“We are not freaking out,” Severide states with the appearance of calm, but Matt can see something slightly frantic in his eyes that completely betrays his answer.

“I’m putting the condo on the market,” he blurts on an exhale. Once it’s out in the open he feels his shoulders relax and his nerves dissipate. That actually wasn’t so bad. At least not yet. It really depends on their reactions. “I’m gonna go over there today and see what needs to be done before I can list it.”

“Wow,” Shay says as her eyebrows lift. “Big step, Casey.”

He inhales and exhales slowly before nodding. “It is, but...it’s time. I’ve held onto it long enough. Before I--I wasn’t ready to face all the memories, the _closure_. It felt like too much, too soon. But I’m ready now. I need to do this.”

“And after you sell it?” Severide asks, though he looks as if he already knows the answer.

“I’ll be looking for a new place,” Casey answers. “I need to move forward. I don’t want to forget anything but I do have to move on, you know? I’ve gotta stop living in this limbo I’ve been in for over a year now.”

Kelly nods, looking thoughtful, but ultimately gives Matt a supportive grin. “Well, I’m not looking forward to you leaving,” he admits. “But I’m proud of you, man. You’ve come a long way.”

“We all have,” Shay agrees. “This is great, Casey. I’m happy for you. And, you know what, we’ll go with you, help you get the place in shape. Plus, it kinda feels like the final step to say goodbye to Gabby. If that makes any sense.”

Matt meets Leslie’s eyes with a wan smile and somber nod. “It makes perfect sense.”

“Well, since we’re talking,” Leslie says, her sad smile turning bright. “I’ve been meaning to bring something up and Casey just gave me the perfect opening.”

Sylvie focuses a delighted stare on Shay. “Is this baby news? _Please_ say there’s baby news!”

Shay laughs and shakes her head. “Not quite yet, but I’ve been trying to decide on a strategy and I think I have one. I was reluctant to bring it up because it seemed improbable with all our bedrooms full and me living with two single males, which I’m told is not a good look, but now that Casey’s decided to eventually move out--”

“Jesus, just spit it out,” Severide exclaims with a teasing laugh.

“I want to foster,” she announces in a raised voice, frustratedly glaring at Severide. “The process takes a while and placement doesn’t happen right away, but there is a home inspection element to even being approved for foster status and this place would have to be child proofed and then there’s the issue of no room for the kid and me being a single mom living with a couple of single dudes -- _Anyway_ , I’ve been thinking about it and I thought my only option was to move out on my own but now that Casey is going to eventually be moving out…” She turns to Severide with a worried glance. “What do you think? Would you be okay if we use the third bedroom for a kid or would that cramp your style--”

A wide slow smile spreads across Severide’s face. “Are you nuts? _No_ , that doesn’t cramp my style! And _of course_ you can use the third bedroom for a kid’s room! Shay, this is _great_!”

Casey rounds the counter just as Sylvie launches herself at Leslie in a tight hug.

Severide chuckles but pretty soon his arms envelope both women, placing a kiss to the top of Shay’s head.

“You are going to be a great Foster mom,” Sylvie assures her. “Really, I mean I know you want a baby and I’m sure that will happen for you but you have so much love to give and the kids in the Foster system need that more than most. You’re going to be amazing. If you need anything let me know, okay?”

Shay sniffles and squeezes Sylvie tighter. “Dammit I miss having you on 61, Partner! Borelli’s a cute kid but he has nothing on your pep talks!”

Sylvie laughs softly and then pulls away from both Severide and Shay. “It’s always nice to know I’m missed.”

When Severide steps away Matt takes his turn to hug Shay. “This is a brilliant idea, Shay. Sylvie’s right. You’ll be great at it.”

“Thank you,” she replies, smirking at him as they part from their hug. “Now all you have to do is move out. No pressure or anything.”

He laughs and shakes his head. “No, of course not.”

“Okay, maybe a _little_ pressure. The clock is ticking, Casey,” she teases.

He rolls his eyes and heads back to the kitchen. “Despite that little jab,” he says. “I’m still feeling generous enough to cook breakfast. So, I’ll ask again, who’s hungry?”

“Definitely me!” Shay answers. “Oh! We have chocolate chips and whip cream! We should make chocolate chip pancakes.”

Casey barely stifles a laugh and gives Sylvie a pointed look. “Yeah, we should. What do you think, Sylvie?”

Her nose scrunches up again, very briefly. She quickly straightens her face and clears her throat. “Oh, um, you know I’m good. I think I’ll just have plain pancakes. No reason to go to all that trouble.”

“Okay, suit yourself,” Shay says, grinning devilishly. “I can probably find a better use for the whip cream later anyway. I mean I _do_ have a date tonight.”

Matt’s eyes find Sylvie’s with raised eyebrows and a knowing grin. His wordless message should be clear. _Told you so_. Sylvie presses her lips together, laughter shines in her eyes but never passes over her lips, while her eyes widen comically. _I admit it. You were right_.

He chuckles mutely while he crosses the kitchen to reach the fridge. “How does everyone like their eggs?”

Just like that, the day goes on. Matt cooks breakfast, they enjoy it together and he savors being with three of his favorite people. Afterward, they all get ready and head over to the condo. He anticipated it would be hard to see the place again and he wasn’t wrong. But he’d be lying if he said having his friends there didn’t make any easier. It definitely did. 

They packed more boxes and Matt made note of the larger pieces that he could either sell or put in storage. Most of it, he would probably sell. A fresh start seemed more appealing to him now than it did nearly a year ago. He’d keep the photos and momentos and a few sentimental things that he and Gabby had purchased together, but he found he was willing to part with most things. What he treasured most about Gabby wouldn’t be found in their things. It would be found in the memories he kept of her and in all the ways she helped him become who he is today.

Now that he knew that -- _really knew that_ \-- it was easier to carry on, easier to imagine a future, and easier to remember the past.


	73. The Broken Parts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Next shift at 105.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ONE MORE ONE CHICAGO-LESS WEDNESDAY BEFORE WE'RE BACK! Yay! I'm so ready! 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you'll all enjoy this update. I had to get back to the drama but it starts with some sweetness. ;) 
> 
> Happy reading!   
> xoxo

******

_“Give me all your issues,_

_Give me all your time,_

_Give me your forever,_

_And I'll give you mine._

_Everything that came before me,_

_Even all the broken parts,_

_Every chapter of your story,_

_Write it on my heart.”_

_-“Write It On My Heart” by Gabby Barrett_

******

Sylvie spent the night with Matt after spending the day packing up his condo. It had been a long time since she’d been there and even then, she barely got a glimpse of it. She was in and out of the place so fast that first night they met. Over the first 24 of her 48 off she learned all about it. She heard about how Matt had renovated it himself but had gone by Gabby’s plans and ideas. (Gabby had excellent taste. Even half finished, the built-in shelves were placed perfectly and that kitchen was a dream.) And about how it had taken Gabby a while to decide what sort of place she wanted but the minute they saw this place they knew they had to jump on it. They’d considered it their starter home. 

And, lastly, she’d heard how Gabby never got to see the finished product.

It was awful, the way Matt lost her. (Though, from what she’d heard, the way he’d lost Hallie wasn’t any better. Someday she’d ask him about her, but not now. Now was not the time.) One minute they’d been planning a future and the next she was gone, suddenly and violently. Sylvie could hardly blame him for the darkness he’d been living in when they met. She didn’t think she would have fared much better than he did.

The condo was in good shape. There wasn’t much left to pack. Some books and momentos he didn’t have the stomach to pack up when he’d moved out and then large pieces of furniture he didn’t know what to do with. But, beyond that, the renovations weren’t complete. 

The built-ins still needed to be finished and a few of the walls needed a fresh coat of paint. Matt told her it wouldn’t take him long or cost him hardly anything to finish it out and, once it was complete, it would only add to the condo’s property value.

But _she_ had a feeling Matt _needed_ to finish it. As some sort of final goodbye to Gabby. It was the last project they took on as a couple, after all. It made sense he would want to see it through.

Severide offered to help but Matt waved it off. He tried to make it look casual but Sylvie knew how to read him better than most. He maybe could use the help, but he didn’t want it and he didn’t want to hurt Kelly’s feelings. This was something Matt wanted to do alone.

So, she went home with him after they finished packing up what they could and loved him through whatever sadness and heartbreak remained. She expected him to slip back into that dark moody place she’d found him in nearly a year ago, if only temporarily, but to her great surprise he didn’t. Instead, he talked. _And talked and talked_.

She felt like she knew Gabby as well as anyone else at 51 now, and she’s convinced Matt’s right. She and Gabby would have been friends. The more Matt talked about her, the less intimidated she felt. It didn’t make sense to her at first. One would think that hearing even more tales about the Great Gabby Dawson would pull her insecurities to the surface, but it was the complete opposite.

Gabby felt _human_ to her now. Relatable. She felt... _real_.

She wasn’t some lofty perfect figure that Matt put on a pedestal. He’d told her about a few of their bigger fights and mutual frustrations. She knew Matt and Gabby weren’t perfect. Dawson didn’t feel like this idea she had to live up to anymore.

She felt like...a part of Matt. And because she was a part of Matt, Sylvie admired her -- was _grateful_ to her. Matt wouldn’t be the man she loves without Gabby.

The man she…

 _The man she loves_?

It hasn’t even been two weeks! She can’t love him yet!

...can she?

Oh god, she can and she does!

Great timing, Sylvie. Way to jump at least twenty steps ahead, she thinks scoldingly. There’s no way Matt feels that strongly about her _yet_. She’s hopeful he’ll get there and she can wait until he does, but he’s not there now. At least, she doesn’t think he is.

The night ended with Matt thanking her for coming with him to the condo and listening and then with him _showing her_ exactly how _grateful_ he was. For the first time _ever_ , she woke up _naked_ in Matt Casey’s bed sheets. Saying it was the best feeling in the world, would be an understatement.

She’d showered and dressed and made Matt a quick breakfast. Her plan was to get out of his hair so he could work on the condo in peace. She knew it was important to him. She stayed long enough to enjoy a cup of coffee with him and then retreated back to her place.

It needed a good clean anyway. She’d been neglecting it in favor of spending time with Matt. She cleaned her apartment, went to the gym, bought groceries for the week and checked in with Matt every few hours just to see if he needed anything. He’d reply with a progress photo, knowing she loves renovations, and she’d grin at her phone for several minutes each time.

Yes, her personal life was certainly winning these days.

Her professional one, however, _was not_.

She’s been on shift for six hours and it’s been _hell_. 

And she can’t even text Matt to vent because she shut her phone up in her locker to keep her partner from spying on her.

She glances down at herself in disgust. Chili banished her to the back of the ambo because she stunk to high heaven. Their patient had slept in a dumpster and then busted his head on the pavement climbing out of it. He had a severe concussion and puked on her, not once but _twice_. So she smelled like rotting garbage _and_ barf. Freaking fantastic.

Chili chuckled teasingly as she opened the back doors of the ambo. “You go shower off, I’ll hose down the back.”

“Thank God,” Sylvie replies in relief. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

“I’ll have McCall take us out of service for an hour to get you and the ambo cleaned up,” Chili says with a sympathetic wince. “You’re a lot tougher than you look, you know,” her partner says in approving admiration.

“It’s the blonde hair,” Sylvie tells her with a genuinely friendly smile. “People think I’m wimp because I’m a blonde. When I get back from cleaning up, remind me to tell you about the time I nearly took a baseball bat to a burglar.”

“Damn, Brett!” Chili says with an impressed smirk. “That’s legit!”

She laughs and does a playful curtsy before spinning on her heel and making a break for the locker room. She needs to shower and change as soon as humanly possible.

When she undresses, she puts her soiled clothes in a trash bag. She’s not even going to try to save them. What’s the point? The hot water does wonders for her mood. She takes twice as long as she normally would in a Firehouse shower, but she has a lot of stink to wash off and it won’t go away in a quick fifteen minute rinse. She wraps a towel around herself and then steps out of the stall, padding over to her locker in her cheap Wal-Mart flip flops. 

She twists the combination into her lock and removes it, beginning to open her locker door, when a large masculine hand clamps down over the door -- slamming it shut and scaring her to death. She jumps and looks up with wide startled eyes.

Early is hovering above her, leering in a way that makes her want to shudder in disgust.

“Heard you were in here,” he says, his leer shifting into a predatory smirk. “Had to come see for myself.”

“There’s nothing to see,” Sylvie tells him, clutching her towel tighter. “Move your hand, please. I need to get my clothes.”

“What are you gonna do if I don’t?” He challenges.

“Seriously?” Sylvie asks in irritation. “What are you, twelve? Get out of my way, _please_. If I have to ask again, I won’t be so polite about it.”

Early shakes his head at her, staring at her like a jigsaw puzzle with one missing piece, but his hand doesn’t budge. “I don’t get you. You’re not at all what I was told you were. What, you have a little fun with Pridgen and now Lieutenants aren’t good enough for you anymore?”

“I didn’t do _anything_ with Pridgen,” she tells him through gritted teeth. “Whoever told you that didn’t have all the facts.”

He leans into her space and brings his other arm around her, pressing it against the locker next to hers and caging her in. Her hands have a white knuckle grip on her towel. She’s hyper aware that the thin bit of terry cloth is nowhere near enough to shield her from him should he decide to get aggressive. It’s a fact that leaves her frozen in fear.

It’s unlike her. Wasn’t she just telling Chili about the time she confronted a burglar in her own home? This isn’t her. She’s not a _coward_. He can’t make her feel inferior unless she _lets_ him. And she fucking refuses to _let him_.

“Back up or I swear to god I will scream. I will scream so loud and so long that everyone in this Firehouse will come running. Get _out_ of my face. Right now.”

His eyes flash with fear and he flinches, clearly considering the ramifications of them being found in their current position if she were to scream. But it passes quickly. He doesn’t move an inch.

He chuckles, the sound is bitter and terrifying. “You’re gonna cry wolf? That’s hardly original. Is that what you did with Pridgen--”

“What _the fuck_ is going on here? Step the hell away from her before I break your damn nose, Early.”

They both turn to find Welch, furious and red faced, and Chili standing behind him looking completely panicked.

Early scowls, but does as he’s told. He throws one last smirk at Sylvie while he steps away. “You liked it,” he tells her with a sleazy wink. “You know you did.” He bumps shoulders with Welch as he passes him and then stops to glare at Chili. “I’m disappointed in you, Chili. For a minute, I thought you were one of us. Shoulda known you’d drink the high and mighty kool aid.”

Sylvie breathes a sigh of relief and slumps against her locker once he’s gone. A full body shudder works it way up her spine as she recalls how close his meaty hands were to her bare shoulders. There’s only one person she ever wants touching her bare skin and he’s across town at 51. Without her.

“You okay?” Chili asks worriedly, brows drawn together.

“I--I think so,” she answers with a gulp. 

She’s shaken up and pissed off. She feels vulnerable and exposed. But she’s not hurt. She’s not broken. She’ll probably never take a shower at 105 ever again, but she’ll survive. It’s not until her self assessment is done that she really hears Early’s last words to Chili.

“Hold on,” she says as she narrows her eyes at her partner. “What did he mean, he thought you were one of them?”

“She’s been gossiping about you with Squad,” Welch says, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at Chilton. “And she’s the one who told him you were in the shower.”

“Excuse me?” Sylvie asks, her cheeks heating with rage. “You told him that I was alone in the locker room taking a shower? What the hell? _Why_?”

“I’m sorry!” Chili exclaims, looking genuinely remorseful. “I didn’t think the gossip was any big deal and, no offense, but you haven’t worked here every day for months yet. You don’t know what it’s like. These guys are assholes! Talking trash about you got them off my back. I felt _gross_ doing it, but I didn’t know what else to do!” 

Her breathing is harsh and labored with an anxious energy. Chili has been so cool and collected so far. Sylvie never would have imagined she was secretly terrified beneath all of her unaffected bravado.

“And I knew Early was the worst of them but I didn’t think that he--I mean, I didn’t know that he was the type to--He asked me where you were and I told him. I had no idea he meant to ambush you in the locker room! At least not until he walked away with that greasy grin on his face.” She shuddered just as Sylvie had earlier, muttering to herself as she finishes. “And I thought I hated him before.”

“To her credit,” Welch begins, begrudgingly. “She did come and find me as soon as Early headed your way. She had your back when it mattered.”

“Okay,” Sylvie says slowly, biting her bottom lip. “I...don’t know what to do with any of that and right now I just want to get dressed. Do you guys mind, um, watching the door? I don’t think he’ll come back but--”

“I got it,” Welch assures her. “Chilton, with me,” he orders.

Chili gives Sylvie one last apologetic look before she nods and follows Welch out of the room. She can barely make out their shoulders as they stand on either side of the entrance. She was having a hard time trusting Chili as it was but now…

She huffs, rips her locker door open, and hurriedly changes. She feels a little better knowing Welch is looking out for her but she still doesn’t want to be exposed in this locker room any longer than she has to be. She’s not even going to bother to dry her hair. She throws it up into a lazy damp bun and leaves it at that. Who gives a damn what anyone at this house thinks of her anyway?

When she emerges from the locker room, Welch nods at her with a lop-sided encouraging grin.

“You good?” He asks.

She nods back and takes in a deep fortifying breath. “I’m good. Thanks.”

She tosses the bag that contains her clothes in the trash and then walks right passed Chili without another word. Honestly, she doesn’t know what to say. Or how to feel. She’s so angry that nothing else computes right now. Her brain is full of white noise.

“Brett, I’m sorry,” Chili says again as she trails along behind her. “I swear to you I had no idea he was gonna come at you like that.”

“Maybe not,” Sylvie replies through a stiff jaw. “But you did know that whatever information you fed him would be used against me, didn’t you?”

The guilty expression on her face is all the answer Sylvie needs.

“I can’t believe you! That’s not how a partnership works! We’re supposed to have each other’s backs!” Sylvie yells in frustration, stomping through the bunk room and into the hallway.

“I don’t know what planet you’re from, but I have _never_ had a partnership like that. The only people I have ever been able to count on are my sisters and neither of them are here anymore. It’s just me and if I want to survive I’ve gotta cover my own ass. No one’s gonna do that for me,” Chili says with a dry scoff.

“Not with that attitude they aren’t,” Sylvie quips with an angry huff. “If you want people to have your back then you have to show them you have theirs too. No one’s gonna be your backup if they can’t trust you, Chili.”

“What you’re saying is to earn your trust then I have to _be_ trustworthy myself?” She asks.

“Yeah, that’s what I’m saying. You want back up? You want a friend? Fine, prove to me I can trust you and you’ll have it. _I’ll_ be our back up _and_ your friend. But it won’t happen like this. Not with you gossiping about me behind my back and plotting against me--”

“I never wanted to do any of that in the first place!” she explains desperately as they reach the apparatus floor and Ambo 95. “I thought I had to! I didn’t know how else to make it work around here. That’s not really me, I swear!”

Brett shakes her head and opens the back of the ambo to make sure Chili really did hose down the back. To her surprise, it’s spotless and ready for their next call.

“Fine, okay, you’re right! I need to prove it to you. I’m gonna make it up to you, Brett. I promise,” Chili says looking utterly determined. And, dare Sylvie think it, _earnest_. “I--I want to have a partnership like the ones you’re describing. It’d be nice to...trust someone, I guess. To have someone I can depend on again.”

Sylvie wants to believe her. She seems heartfelt, but after everything that’s happened today she’s not sure that’s possible.

“You don’t buy it,” Chili says, nodding with a disappointed expression. “That’s okay. I get that. But I’m gonna fix this. You’ll see.”

Seeing it is the only way she’ll believe at this point. She hopes Chili proves her wrong, but she’s not counting on it.

God, she misses 51…

And Shay. _And Matt_. 


	74. In the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt comes home to a surprise after shift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** Warning: HERE BE SMUT. ;) As usual, maybe don’t read this in a public place or if you do then you might want to turn down your screen brightness.
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“In your arms, in the dark,_

_In the silver of the moon,_

_Tell me what did I do,_

_To land a man like you?_

_Boy, you're a goldmine, goldmine,_

_And I'm diggin' on your goldmine,_

_An endless supply of your love, oh my God,_

_If your kisses were riches, then you've hit the jackpot.”_

_-“Goldmine” by Gabby Barrett_

******

Matt arrives home later than he wanted. He was the last one out of the Firehouse thanks to a last minute call for a manpower assist that only applied to Truck 81. He arrives home to find Shay eating cereal at the breakfast bar and watching the door.

Apparently for him.

“So, Sylvie’s here,” Leslie says, glancing down the hall to his room.

“Here?” He asks. “I was supposed to meet her at her place and take her to breakfast.”

“Yeah, I know, which is why I was a bit surprised to get home and find her waiting outside our apartment door,” Shay tells him, obvious concern in her expression. “She was still in her uniform and looked like she hadn’t slept at all during the last 24 hours. And she hugged me _so tight_ \-- a little desperately. I know my partner, Casey. Something’s up.”

He sighs and rubs a hand over his face. “Fucking 105. Remind me to check in with Chief next shift and find out if they’re any closer to transferring her back. It’s only her third shift over there and it’s already putting more stress on her than she needs. You sent her to my room?”

Shay nods. “Yeah, she’s in the shower. If you weren’t back soon I was gonna make sure she actually got in bed and went to sleep. I’m not kidding when I say she looked _exhausted_. She looked like she pulled a double shift during St. Patrick’s Day weekend, if you catch my drift.”

“Thanks,” Matt says, squeezing Shay’s arm. “I’ll see if I can find out what’s up.”

When he reaches his bedroom, the bathroom door is wide open and the shower is off. There’s steam drifting out of the open door. He barely takes one step inside the door when a towel covered blur, that he assumes is Sylvie, launches herself at him. He catches her immediately, hands landing on the soft terry cloth covering her hips.

“Hey,” he says, softly, while kicking his bedroom door shut. She’s clutching at him like she hasn’t seen him in weeks with her face buried in the curve of his neck. He bands his arms around her back, pulling her closer. “I thought I was supposed to meet you at your place? Everything okay?”

She shakes her head against his skin but doesn’t say a word. 

Yeah, okay, he reads her loud and clear. Something’s up. And it’s pretty damn big.

She leans away from him, craning back to meet his eyes. He sees tears shining in them, but mostly he sees relief. He doesn’t like the look of either of those things. Why is she near tears and _why_ is she relieved to see him? Her hands fist in his shirt and then she _yanks_. 

His lips land on hers for a bruising and hungry kiss. It’s phenomenal like every other kiss they share, but this one feels _urgent_. She keeps wanting to be closer, even when he thinks they’re as close as they can get -- as if she’s tired of her own skin and wants to share his. She pulls him further into the room until her back hits the dresser. She continues to lead a series of devouring kisses while reaching for his belt. He hurriedly releases her to grab his wallet out of his back pocket and throw it on the dresser behind her. 

The way this is going there’s something very important inside he suspects they’re going to need.

She has his belt undone and pants and underwear shoved down to his knees faster than ever before. If she needs this then he’s not going to stop her. She’s a freight train and her frenetic energy is contagious. She reaches up between them and rips the towel off her body, tossing it on the floor with his discarded belt.

He moans into her mouth when his hands land on smooth bare skin. There’s a cloud of humidity floating around them from the hot water she’s just stepped out of and the smell of her having used _his soap_ fills his senses. Between that and his hands on her ribs, thumbs caressing the bottom curve of her breasts, he’s harder than ever and ready for whatever it is she has in mind for them.

She ducks out of his arms just long enough to hop up on his dresser, spreading her knees to give him space to stand between her legs. He happily obliges. His hand cups her jaw while he dives back in for more kisses but before he can settle his other hand on the small of her back, she grabs it and redirects him. 

She pulls his hand past her hip and over her belly button and toward the nerve center between her legs. Breaking their kiss, she speaks in a breathless husky voice that has all the blood in his body rushing downward. “Touch me, Matt. I need you to touch me.”

_Jesus._

He doesn’t need to be told twice.

Barely one brush of his finger against her and she’s already whimpering into his mouth, gripping his shoulders for dear life. Every inch of her folds are drenched, causing him to groan at how badly he wants to slip inside of her. But she asked to be touched first and he’s going to give her what she wants. He presses one finger inside of her and rubs his thumb against her swollen clit, causing her legs to curl around him and her teeth to sink into his bottom lip.

This woman is going to kill him one day. He doesn’t exactly know when, but he’s positive she’ll be the death of him. He wants her too much to survive it for long.

He curls his finger, brushing her most sensitive spot. Nails bite into the skin at his shoulders and she arches against him with a strangled cry. He repeats that motion over and over, occasionally circling his thumb. He thought she was wet before, but he was _very_ wrong.

Her thighs are twitching, and honestly so is a very solid part of his own anatomy. Her breathing is coming out in hitched pants and moans. She’s close, he can feel her tightening around his finger. He keeps going a moment longer, wanting to bring her as close to the edge as he can. When she’s almost at the top of the peak, he adds a second finger -- curling it in time with the first. She throws her head back and brings a balled fist up to her mouth. She bites down on her hand to keep herself quiet as he feels her flutter around his fingers. Her hips and thighs quake as she’s lost to the waves of her pleasure. He takes a deep breath to calm himself down and lets his eyes roam every inch of her. He wants to memorize her just like this.

Brought the edge of all reason by his hands and his alone.

She slumps against him, chest heaving as it’s pressed against his, and kisses a lazy trail from his shoulder to the hinge of his jaw.

“I think it’s time for the condom now,” she tells him, skimming her hands down his back until they can reach his ass for an encouraging squeeze.

He blindly reaches for his wallet, too focused on her now wondering hands to be concerned with actually looking.

Her hand wraps around his shaft and pump once. His hips jerk and his eyes close, and his search for his wallet becomes much more pressing. His hand lands on the worn leather just as her thumb swipes over the tip of him. A feral sound leaves his mouth that he’s not sure he’s ever made before her. It’s a combination of a groan and a growl. Hoarse yet yearning. He grabs the condom out of the wallet and throws everything else over his shoulder. He’ll find it later, after he’s had a satisfying dip into her heat.

He peels her hand away and rolls the condom on. The temperature building between them is scorching. It’s almost too much. She teased him with her hand so he decides it’s only fair to return the favor. He presses the length of him between her legs and grinds against her, tip to balls. She gasps and her hips buck, a soft whimper escaping her.

“Oh, _fuck_ , Matt. _Please_ ,” she begs. “I need you.”

A guttural moan passes his lips at those words. There are two things he’s learned he enjoys most about her when they get _physical_ \-- the way she curses and _seeing_ how much she truly does _need him_.

He’s not going to deny her now. Not after she gave him _both_ his favorite things at once.

He lines himself up and thrusts, entering with one quick lunge.

Her legs coil around him and her arms wind under his arms and up his back, delicate hands landing on his shoulders while her nails dig into his skin. She’s both pleasure and pain, wrapped up in one irresistible woman. He’s never going to be able to resist her again. Barely two weeks in and he already knows the score. She’s got him hook, line, and sinker.

They move together, her seated on his dresser and him leaning over her. They’ve started to memorize the things they’ve learned about each other so far. Knowing their little quirks and idiosyncrasies make it easier to find a rhythm — enables him to last as long as she does without rushing her the way he did their first time together.

Practice makes perfect and he will never complain about practicing with her.

He feels her muscles tense against him, her arms constricting their hold. He’s right there with her. He’s quickly coming unglued. His movements are erratic. Everything about being with her is launching him higher and higher. Her scent, the pinch of her nails in his back, her wet hair brushing his cheek and catching on his stubble, the little mewling noises she makes as she tries to muffle herself by biting into her bottom lip — it’s all stretching him to his limits and pulling him apart. 

Finally, the winding tightness at his core releases. She clenches every part of her around every part of him and he buries his face into the curve of her shoulder, teeth nipping and mouth sucking at her skin to keep from roaring as he unravels completely.

As he slowly returns to himself, he realizes he left a mark just above her collar bone. He smirks at his handy work and tenderly kisses the rapidly discoloring circle that’s breaking up her fair skin. In turn, Sylvie caresses the scratches on his back, wincing through an embarrassed laugh.

“I think I broke the skin,” she says apologetically. “Are you okay?”

“Okay?” Matt asks, craning back to meet her eyes. Does she realize she blew his mind? Or that she has him completely in the palm of her hand? Honestly, it’s a little pathetic, but he doesn’t give a shit. They’re phenomenal together. “Are you kidding? Scratch me up all you want.” He pauses at the sight of her blush and disbelieving smile. “I’m serious. That was _sexy_ as hell, Sylvie. The whole damn thing was, honestly. What did I do to deserve that?”

Her smile slips briefly and her satisfied post-sex glow dims when he asks that question. It reminds him of what he and Shay discussed before he came back here to find her. Something happened during her shift. He can see it in her downcast gaze. If only she’d tell him what it was.

Her smile returns, just as bright, and her adoring blue gaze finds his again. “Just missed you, that’s all.”

He runs his hand through her damp hair, kisses her soundly, and then pulls out of her — severing their connection and ending the moment.

He crosses the room to the bathroom and discards the condom, fully kicking off his jeans as he goes and pulling his boxers back on.

“You didn’t shower and change at 105 after your shift?” He asks, noticing her uniform in a mesh drawstring laundry bag.

“No, I’d had enough of the 105 locker room for one day,” she answers vaguely as she hops down from the dresser and picks her towel up off the floor. 

He’s tempted to ask what she meant by that but as he catches her eye he sees that exhaustion Shay mentioned. She needs rest. He can get the details from her later. She walks toward him and places a quick chaste kiss to his lips before flipping her head over and towel drying her hair.

It takes him a moment to get over what he’s seeing. He’s got Sylvie Brett, naked in his bedroom.

 _Naked_.

At some point, maybe seeing Sylvie naked will no longer short circuit his brain, but that point is not now. She twists her hair up in the towel and then fishes around in her duffle, coming up with a simple cotton spaghetti strap nightgown. She slips on the nightgown and then retreats to his bathroom. When she comes back out the towel is gone and her hair has been gathered into a messy bun on top of her head.

She stops in front of him and wraps her arms around his waist, pressing her front against his. “I’m beat and didn’t sleep on shift at all last night,” she admits. “But after I’ve gotten some rest...we need to talk -- about my shift. I just...I don’t have the energy to talk about it at this particular moment in time. Is that okay?”

He nods, holding her to him with his arms around her shoulders. “Yeah, of course. And whatever it is,” he tells her. “We’ll work it out.”

“I hope so,” she replies with a defeated sigh. “Lay down with me?”

He brushes a kiss against her temple, pausing to smile against her skin. “Naturally. How would you sleep without your pillow?”

A drowsy chuckle falls off of her lips before she gives him one final squeeze and lets him go. While she crawls under the covers, he makes his way to the other side of the bed. Just like their last 48 off, the minute he’s settled in the bed, Sylvie covers half of him with her body and throws one of her legs over his. Her arms wrap around his chest, just under his shoulders, leaving her to nestle her head in the crook of his neck.

He drifts off with her, marveling at how _right_ it feels to fall asleep with her in his arms. He could get used to this, and he truly hopes he does. He can’t imagine ever letting her go.


	75. Hurt and Burnt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sylvie talks to Matt about 105.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** TOMORROW IS THE DAY. WE’RE BACK, BABY! AHHHHHHHHH. Less than 24 hours till I see my ship on my screen again! I cannot wait! I did not get another chapter written but I wanted to post tonight to give you guys something to read while you wait. 
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“Don't cover up, turn up the lights,_

_I wanna see, all of you tonight,_

_I'm not holding back,_

_I can't believe that,_

_You're finally letting go,_

_But I've been hurt and burnt before._

_But when I'm with you,_

_I'm not afraid to show it all,_

_When I'm with you,_

_I'm not hiding anymore.”_

_-“Naked” by The Shires_

******

Sylvie wakes up before Matt, dreading the conversation she knows they have to have. 

She could play it down again like she did last time, but that feels dishonest at this point. Her last conversation with Early felt like a non-event. The gist she gave Matt felt true to her. He hit on her and she handled it, end of story. But this time…

This time felt like an attack.

Sure, he didn’t touch her, but he sought her out when she was vulnerable and that felt just as violating. She didn’t want to think about how far he might have pushed it if Welch and Chili hadn’t shown up.

She had a hard enough time dealing with it from the end of shift to the second Matt walked through the door. She saw him and immediately wanted his hands on her. The shower didn’t wash Early off of her and in that moment she knew why -- only _Matt_ could cancel out the way Early encroached on her space, only _Matt_ could keep her from spinning out, and only _Matt_ could bring her comfort.

But she can’t seek out peace with him without telling him _why_ she needs it. That doesn’t feel right. Not if she wants him to be involved in her life for the long term, which she does. 

She _really_ does.

No, playing it down isn’t an option anymore.

She has to tell him the full story. Based on the way he reacted to Pridgen, she knows he’ll be furious and while she may be afraid of his reaction she’s _more_ afraid of what would happen if she left him out.

Matt presses his lips to the top of her head as he comes to, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. “How long were we out?”

She cranes her neck to glance at the clock on his nightstand. “Four hours.”

“Every time you fall asleep on me I go right with you,” Matt says with a hoarse chuckle. “And I actually got a handful of hours of sleep last night. I shouldn’t be tired.”

She snickers, kissing his jaw. “There are worse things to be than a sympathetic sleeper.”

His callused hands run up and down the length of her arms and she lets out a contented sigh. This moment is quiet and soothing.

She hates to ruin it, but she doesn’t have much of a choice.

“We have to talk about 105,” Sylvie declares with an apprehensive sigh.

She pulls out of Matt’s arms and sits up against his headboard, swallowing thickly and waiting for him to follow her lead.

He gives her a concerned look but nods, sitting up next to her. “Everything alright?”

“I’m fine,” she says, meeting his concerned eyes with reassuring ones. “But there’s sort of a situation with Early. I thought it was no big deal at first but...I think it might be and I don’t want you to feel like I was trying to hide it from you.”

His stare instantly darkens, and not with need like she’s grown accustomed to lately. No, they darked with anger. In two seconds flat. “Early?” He asks. “What did that jackass do?”

“Matt,” she says knowingly with a quirked brow. She reaches over and brushes her fingers through the mussed hair falling on his forehead. “I need you to promise me you won’t fly off the handle and storm 105 after I tell you what happened. I want to talk to you about this and include you but I don’t want you doing anything rash.”

“So, you know I won’t like whatever it is,” Matt says, mirroring her expression and quirking a brow at her in return. “Maybe the situation calls for me to do something rash?”

“And have you charged with Conduct Unbecoming an Officer because of me?” She asks as she crosses her arms over her chest and glares at him. “No. That’s not happening. Besides, I want your advice because I trust and respect you, but this isn’t one of your construction jobs or a call for Truck 81. I don’t need you to fix it and I don’t need to be rescued.”

“If you’re _this_ worried about it then maybe you do need me to fix it,” he suggests, voice raising and tone clipping. “I’ve worked with guys like Early my whole career, Sylvie. I know how they think and how they act when they’re challenged. I don’t like the idea of you handling him all by yourself. You’re all alone at that house--”

“I’m not all alone at that house,” she tells him, increasing her volume to match his. “I have Welch. He’s been great back up so far. I trust him.”

Matt scoffs through a bitter chuckle. “So, you’ll accept help from him but not me? Is that it?”

“If all you wanted to do was _help_ , I’d have no problem with it. But, based on this conversation we’re having right now, that’s not _all_ you want to do,” Sylvie replies with a shake of her head. She groans and runs a hand over her face to fight off her frustration. “You see, this is why I’ve been anxious about telling you. _This right here_. But what we have is new and I don’t want to start it off by hiding anything from you. I want this to work, but I can’t spend my time afraid you’re going to go ballistic every time I’m hassled by some guy--”

“I knew it,” Matt says, cutting her off. “He did try something. That bastard--”

Sylvie huffs and throws the covers back, angrily. She was afraid this would happen. She hasn’t even told him what happened and already all he can focus on is getting even with Early. “Forget it, Casey. Just forget I said anything.”

She stands from the bed and starts furiously rifling through her duffle bag. She pulls out her jeans and t-shirt and throws them on the bed, continuing to dig for underwear while shaking her head at herself. She really hoped she could at least get through the story before Matt went all he-man on her, but no-- _of course not._

“What are you doing?” Matt asks, cautiously.

“What does it look like?” She snaps. “I’m getting dressed and going home. I can’t deal with _this_ on top of everything _else_ right now.”

The mattress squeaks just slightly as Matt gets out of bed. 

“Hold on. Let’s just...take a pause. I think this is getting away from us.” He sounds just as apprehensive as she’d felt before starting this conversation.

“I was in a relationship where someone tried to fix everything for me,” Sylvie tells him as she reaches for her jeans and slides them over her legs. “It got to where I felt like I couldn’t handle anything on my own, and I will not be that person again.” She lifts her nightgown and zips up her fly, reluctantly turning to face Matt as she grabs her shirt off the bed. “I’m not—I’m not a damsel in distress or a princess in some ivory tower—“

“You don’t think I know that?” Matt asks, sounding hurt. “I’ve watched you every shift we’ve worked together. I _know_ how badass you are. I’ve never once questioned that. I’m not Harrison, Sylvie. I don’t want to control you or belittle you. I want to help you.”

“Then act like it! Stop trying to take over and _listen_ to me!” Sylvie yells, frustration building to a boil.

She feels angry tears stinging her eyes as they meet his. His eyes match hers with their glassy shine but his look more regretful and less incensed. Her breathing is heavy and her hands have a death grip on her t-shirt. This isn’t what she wants. Isn’t her professional life enough of a struggle? Can’t that be enough stress for the time being?

Matt’s hands wrap around her wrists, engulfing her thumping pulse points. His touch is gentle and careful as he nods slowly at her.

“Okay,” he says with a thick swallow. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Please don’t leave. Not like this.” His hands slide from her wrists to her balled up fists, where her nails are threatening to cut holes into her shirt. He caresses his thumbs across her knuckles. “Stay. I’ll calm down and we’ll _talk_ about it. I know I’m an overprotective dick and I have a short fuse when it comes to the people I care about. _I know_ I need to work on that. I can start practicing now. Today -- _with you_. If you’ll let me?”

Her grip on the shirt loosens and it slips from her hands, carelessly. She nods, almost imperceptibly, and turns her hands to intwine her fingers with his. “I’ll stay.”

His shoulders relax as he exhales through his physical tension. “Good.” He pulls her into an embrace and her arms coil around his back, hugging him tightly.

“I’m sorry too,” she whispers, earnestly. “You’re nothing like Harrison. I _know_ that.”

She feels the muscles pressed against her go soft at her apology. The last edges of her resentment fade away. Matt proved to her he wasn’t Harrison _ages ago_ , but he’d hit a sore spot and all she could think about was the girl who’d stayed in Fowlertown far too long. For a man who definitely didn’t deserve her. She never wanted to be that crippled by self doubt ever again.

“I’d hate to think that _you_ think I would ever--”

“I don’t,” she reassures him. “I _don’t_ , Matt. You just pressed on an old bruise, that’s all.”

“You are more than capable of saving yourself. I’ve seen you do it,” he tells her as he pulls back to meet her eyes with an encouraging grin. He closes the gap between them and rests his forehead against hers, closing his eyes with a warm smile. “Been damn proud of you everytime, too.”

She almost lets _I love you_ roll off her tongue right then and there. But maybe immediately after their first fight isn’t the greatest time for a love confession. She releases him just long enough to shed her jeans and then kisses him slowly and intrusively.

He returns her kiss with just as much fervor and moves them to the end of the bed. When they break apart after several leisurely kisses, he keeps an arm around her and pulls her down onto the bed next to him. He grabs her hand, threads their fingers together, and then takes a deep fortifying breath.

“Let’s try this again,” he says, meeting her eyes with a weak crooked grin. “What happened with Early?”

“This actually starts before Early,” Sylvie tells him with a scowl. “It starts with Chili. You know how I told you she told the house about that day she saw your name on my phone? Well, it was more than that. She was feeding Early information on me like some twisted game of telephone. She said it was because they treat her terribly and she was tired of not fitting in, and I want to believe her and cut her some slack but…”

“But you’re afraid to?” He asks knowingly. “What does your gut say?”

“It says that before me she was the only woman in that house and Chief McCall can’t have eyes everywhere. It says that it's not a stretch to imagine those guys trying to get under her skin just because she’s a woman,” Sylvie tells him before gnawing on her bottom lip. “But then I start doubting myself and wondering if I’m just too trusting or too naive and worried that if I trust her it’ll come back to bite me.”

Matt nods and looks thoughtful as he listens and then meets her eyes with a narrowed assessing gaze. “I don’t know, Sylvie. I think if you put your trust in someone and they break it then...that’s on _them_. Not you. It also depends on what you think the result would be of it all working out. Is that result worth risking the hurt? If it is, then give her a shot. But how does her spying on you relate to Early?”

“We had a call with a severely concussed man and he barfed all over me, _twice_. I had to go get cleaned up in the locker room. It was all fine until I got out of the shower,” she recalls, with a deep breath in and out. “Early came into the locker room as I was getting my extra uniform out of my locker. _Chili_ told him I was there _alone_.”

She hears Matt suck in a breath and sees him tense so she hurries to explain. “He didn’t touch me, but he certainly didn’t give me any space and he said some _awful_ things -- accused me of sleeping with Pridgen and lying about the harassment, came onto me pretty heavily. I--I was scared. Frozen in place. I don’t know why. He’s not the first guy to make me feel like... _property_ instead of a person, I guess. I should know how to respond to that by now but I _couldn’t_. I told him I would scream if he didn’t back up and he _laughed_ , Matt. _He laughed_. I’ve been trying not to think about what would have happened if Chili hadn’t felt guilty and gone to get Welch. It took Welch storming into the room to get Early to leave me alone.”

Matt squeezes her hand and brings the back of it to his lips. He releases it to wrap his arms around her and pull her into his chest. She feels his lips against the crown of her head and the tension in his muscles. He’s trying his hardest not to lose his temper. He’s holding on to her so he can let his anger go. It can’t be easy to do. She wraps her arms around him in return and continues when he stays silent.

“Letting down my guard in that house is not an option anymore,” she tells him. “I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t dare change after shift--I’m uncomfortable all the time and I don’t know what to do about it. I _have_ to get along in that house for the foreseeable future. How-- _how_ do I do that?”

“You don’t,” Matt says immediately. “Sylvie, you _can’t_ stay in a situation like that. It’s only going to get worse before it gets better. Have you told Chief McCall?”

She laughs bitterly and shakes her head. “And become the girl who cries wolf? I’ll be marked as the poster child for sexual harassment for _years_.”

“It’s not crying wolf if it’s _actually_ happening,” Matt reminds her.

“That’s not how other people will see it,” she mutters, remembering Early’s words from the day before.

A hand rubs up and down her back and then stops to knead the back of her neck, almost eliciting a pleased groan from her lips, before Matt speaks, softly. “You’re really going to sacrifice your safety for public opinion?”

She sags into him and throws her legs over his, basically crawling into his lap -- seeking all the comfort he can offer her. “Men don’t face the same scrutiny women do, Matt. I know you know that. I’m still early in my career and a bad reputation now can follow me around for a long time. I want to do well here. I don’t want a limit on the paths my career can take. I know that’s a long way in the future but I’ve got to think about that. It’s a marathon, sure, but if I lag behind now I’ll never catch up.”

“You’re not reporting anything to be malicious or manipulative, though,” he replies, lifting her the rest of the way and setting her on his thighs. “This is actually harassment. Textbook definition, in fact.”

“It’s never that cut and dry.”

“It should be.”

“The world _should be_ a lot of things, but it isn’t.”

“I don’t like this,” he confesses with a gulp and a huff. “I don’t like that I can’t go through this with you or that I’m feeling so... _helpless_. I should be able to do something.”

“You are doing something,” she reminds him. “You’re holding me. I need that more than anything else right now.”

He kisses her temple and then rests his lips against her skin. He dips his head just enough to speak against the shell of her ear. “Well, I’m always here for that. Anytime, any place.”

She inhales deeply, taking in the scent of laundry detergent, sawdust, and smoke. The same scents that always linger on him and commits them to memory. “Then that’s more than enough, Matt. Just keep doing that.”

He chuckles hoarsely and nods against her. “Deal.”


	76. Trying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone has to break the cycle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** I GOT MY 4 CHAPTER LEAD BACK. YAY. Also, we’re getting close to the end of my plot notes for this fic! We’re gonna finish out this plot and you’ll get an epilogue and then we’re done! YAY!
> 
> After this, I’ll be doing a less regularly updated one shot collection that continues this universe by dropping in on them during various seasons or at various points in their relationship so the end of g/r/r won’t be the last time you see this version of Brettsey, Stellaride, and Shay! I promise!
> 
> Anyway, here’s your next chapter! Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“Girl,_

_Won’t you stop your crying?_

_I know that you’re trying._

_Everything’s gonna be okay,_

_Babygirl,_

_Don’t you hang your head low,_

_Don’t you lose your halo,_

_Everyone’s gonna be okay,_

_Babygirl.”_

_-“Girl” by Maren Morris_

******

Matt spends the entire next day on a jobsite. She knows from the progress photos he’s sent her that it’s demo day. She’s certain he pictured Early’s face on every wall of his jobsite just so he could take a sledgehammer to it. If that’s what he has to do to keep from storming 105 on her behalf then so be it. She will not have him getting in serious trouble over her.

She’s been on shift for a couple of hours now and avoiding Early like the plague. To her surprise, Chili’s been helping. She’s kept one eye out for him all morning and given her a heads up more than once.

They finally get a call, regarding an anonymous sick person, and when they arrive on scene they find a woman overdosing on something. While trying to treat her, a man grabs Sylvie from behind and pins her to a fence -- pressing a knife against her throat.

He’s clearly on something, maybe the same thing their patient is on, and in a _rage_. For a moment Sylvie thinks she’s done for but in a split second the man is howling in pain and curled up in a ball on the ground. The knife falls to the pavement and Sylvie kicks it out of his reach. She glances over at Chili and sees her holding a large black nightstick. She meets Sylvie’s gaze with an apologetic wince, but Sylvie honestly doesn’t give a shit.

Chili beat that guy up to save her life. Chili risked _her career_ to keep her alive.

She doesn't know what to say or do. She’s completely awed and bewildered.

Just as the man starts to get back up two patrolmen come running down the sidewalk.

“Guy pulled a knife on my partner,” Chili says, barely managing to hide the nightstick she’d used in the jump bag. 

“She’s crazy!” The guy yells. “She beat me up! She has a weapon!”

Chili scoffs and rolls her eyes. “I kicked him to get him the drop the knife. The guy’s high as a kite. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

“Yeah, I can see that,” grumbles one of the officers. “Alright, let’s go, buddy. We’re taking you in.”

The man continues screaming about a weapon until they’re out of earshot. She and Chili finish tending to their patient in silence until she’s on the stretcher and they’ve reached the back of the ambulance. They had to get her stable first and _then_ they could talk.

“It’s against regulations to have a weapon,” Chili admits. “If you want to report me, I’ll understand--”

“Are you kidding?” Sylvie asks, reaching a hand out to squeeze her shoulder. “You saved my life. As far as I’m concerned _how_ you did it doesn’t matter.”

Chili gives her half of a hopeful smile and nods, sighing in relief. “Thanks. I appreciate that.”

“Come on,” Sylvie says. “Let’s get her to Med. I’ll buy you a coffee on the way back to the house. It’s not a big enough thank you, but it’s the best I can do for now.”

“I’ll take a coffee,” Chili agrees as she climbs into the back of the rig. “But I really don’t need a thank you.”

“Well, too bad,” Sylvie says while closing one of the doors. “You’re getting one anyway.”

They get back to the house a half hour later, with to-go coffees, and friendly smiles. Sylvie doesn’t fully trust Chili yet but she believes her now. She believes that Chili wants them to be friends and that she wants to _try_ to be an actual partner. Sylvie’s not going to turn that down, especially since she doesn’t have many friends at 105.

Almost as soon as they step out of the rig, two Squad guys--whose names Sylvie can’t remember--approach them. 

“Brett,” one of them says with a smirk. 

She bites back a sigh and smiles politely. “Yes. Did you need something?”

“No,” he says, puffing up his chest and winking at her. “I thought _you_ might, though. Maybe a little afternoon delight in the supply closet?”

She rears back as if she’s been slapped, shocked by how blatant _and public_ the offer was.

“It’s still morning, you jackass, and what _the hell_ did you just say?” Chili asks with a silencing glare. 

The other guy focuses a bored glance on both paramedics. “Oh come on, look we all know her reputation. Besides, it’s in good fun--”

“Fun?” Sylvie asks as her voice finally catches up with her brain. “You think this is _fun_? How dare you!”

“Alright, Jesus, you don’t have to rip our heads off,” the first guy says, holding his hands up in surrender. “Early said you’d get it. That you were in on the joke.”

“Yeah, he bet us a hundred you’d say yes,” the second guy chuckles. “He thought you were a sure thing.”

“Go back to your Squad cave, neanderthals,” Chili says, crossing her arms over her chest and placing herself in between them and Brett. “Sorry, no,” she says with a wicked grin. “That’s an insult to neanderthals. Even they were more evolved than you dumbasses.”

“Not our fault neither one of you have a sense of humor,” the first guy mutters under his breath as they walk away.

Sylvie is frozen to her spot with rage. So, it’s not enough for Early himself to make her feel small and cheap but now he’s bribing his _Squad_ to take part in it, too?

She growls in frustration and violently throws her cup into the trash can. “I hate it here!” She yells. Not giving a damn who overhears. “How do you _stand it_?”

“I hide or try to sit with the guys from Truck,” Chili answers honestly. She huffs and then gives Sylvie a sorrowful glance. “Or I throw other people under the bus.”

“Does McCall know what he’s really like?” Sylvie asks her.

“She has suspicions but he’s always professional in front of her and anyone who knows better is too scared to report him,” her partner tells her with a weak shrug. “Including myself. He’s an intimidating guy. I mean, you’ve seen how he is.”

“He’s a _bully_ ,” Sylvie replies. “And a _creep_.”

“Yeah,” she agrees. “He is.” Chili pauses and then meets her eyes with a knowing expression. “And are _you_ gonna report him?”

Her outrage deflates into defeat. She’d just had this conversation with Matt a couple of nights ago. Sucking it up seemed like the only action to take at the time but now that she’s back at 105, facing it -- facing Chili -- it feels like the coward’s way out. She can’t complain about no one doing anything about Early if she’s not willing to take action herself.

“No,” she answers in a small, ashamed voice. “I’m not.”

“There you go,” Chili says, sadly. “And so the cycle continues. It’s tough shit, Brett, but sometimes that’s how the world works. Not everything can be won with grit and a can-do spirit.”

Chili throws her own cup away, looking morose and lost, before continuing on her way into the house. Every shift, she begins to hate her job more and more. She dreads getting up and coming to work. She loves what she does and she’s damn good at it, but it’s getting harder everyday to convince herself it’s worth it.

She’s letting Early and Riddle win. She knows she is, but she doesn’t know what else to do. The idea of having to report sexual harassment _again_ makes her skin crawl and her throat swell. After Pat Pridgen, she hoped she’d never have to face anything like this again.

She should have known better.

She loves to see the best in people and to hope that everything will work out, but she’s having a hard time finding the silver lining these days. Every shift, that part of herself that looks for goodness everywhere she goes grows smaller and smaller. 

What is she going to do if it disappears completely?

She finishes her shift on auto pilot and feels awful about it, but her heart is somewhere else. With other people. She doesn’t sleep at all on shift, yet again, she sits up in her bunk and keeps a paranoid watch on the men around her. When shift is over, Welch walks her into the locker room and out to her car. After what happened with Early last shift she decided having Stella give her a ride was too risky. What if her shift ran late? Sylvie couldn’t stand to wait at 105 for her. She refused to be alone in that house or anywhere Early might be.

She drives to Matt’s again because, honestly, being near Early for a full shift leaves her craving Matt’s strength, warmth, and decency.

Her car pulls up to the building at the same time as Severide and Shay. She hugs them both tightly and tells Shay all about her dangerous call and Chili saving her ass as they head upstairs. Shay hugs her again once they’re inside and then spins Sylvie around with her hands on her shoulders. She points her toward the hall that leads to Matt’s room and shoves lightly.

“Go shower and change and sleep,” Shay insists. “You know I love to talk to you, partner, but you look like death warmed over. I’ll tell Casey you’re here.”

When she stops and thinks about Shay’s words, it hits her just how _exhausted_ she is. Shay’s right. She doesn’t have to be told twice.

She showers and decides to ditch her cotton nightgown for a borrowed pair of Matt’s boxers and an old flannel shirt she finds in the back of his closet. Once she’s dressed, she snuggles under his covers and into his sheets, burying her face in his pillow and inhaling deeply. Laundry detergent. Smoke. Sawdust.

 _Matt Casey_.

She feels safe and untouchable amongst his things and in his space. Being surrounded by the familiarity of him, even if he’s not there himself, lulls her to sleep. 

She wakes up several hours later to find Matt in the bed next to her, but he’s not asleep. His back is resting against the headboard while he sits on top of the blankets, his laptop resting on his thighs and legs crossed at the ankles as they’re stretched out in front of him.

“Good morning,” she mumbles, stretching lazily under the covers.

He chuckles and looks away from the screen to meet her eyes. “I think you mean afternoon. You’ve been asleep for six hours.” His amusement shifts to concern in the literal blink of an eye. “Couldn’t sleep on shift again?”

She shakes her head and rubs a hand over her face with a sigh.

“Something else happen?” He asks, anger simmering in his eyes despite the softness on his face.

“A couple of Squad a-holes hit on me,” she tells him. “It seems Early’s sleaziness is contagious. Oh, _and_ Chili saved me from a junkie who had a knife pressed to my throat. You know, the usual for 105.”

The flip way she says it probably wasn’t the smartest thing she’s ever done. Matt grips his laptop so tightly she’s afraid he might break it.

“I’m going to ignore you being hit on, even if I really want to punch something or someone because of it, and skip ahead to the knifepoint part of your day,” he says, through gritted teeth. “What do you mean _Chili_ saved you?”

“If I tell you, am I telling my boyfriend Matt Casey or Firehouse 51’s Lieutenant Matt Casey?” She asks as she pushes up out of the covers.

“Does it matter?” He asks warily.

“In this case it does.”

“Well, then, that would depend on why it matters.”

“Okay, let’s say I tell you something that technically breaks the rules but definitely saved my life? Would you react like my boyfriend or like a lieutenant?” She asks, gnawing her bottom lip afterward.

“If it saved your life then I’m reacting like your boyfriend,” he assures her, without a moment’s hesitation. “What happened?”

“Chili had a nightstick hidden in the jumpbag,” Sylvie explains. “If she hadn’t hit the guy with it I might not be sitting here right now.”

“She had a _weapon_ on shift? Mixed in with the medical supplies?” Matt asks, brows furrowing and eyes narrowing.

Sylvie sighs and quirks a brow at him. “Matt…”

“Right, sorry, boyfriend -- not Lieutenant,” he repeats with an apologetic grimace. “How do you feel about that?”

“I _feel_ like she risked a lot using it in front of me. I mean, she essentially risked her _career_ for me,” she tells him, meeting his eyes with a thick swallow. “It was a big deal and I think...a big step toward me trusting her. Do I like that she broke the rules? Of course not. But am I grateful she did this one time? Absolutely. Is that wrong? Should I not feel that way?”

“No, that’s not wrong,” Matt replies, closing his laptop and threading his fingers through hers. “She saved your life. It’s natural to be conflicted over that. To be honest, I’m conflicted myself. Yeah, she broke regulations and I could report her and get her in serious trouble then _again_ she seems to have your back and, with you all alone over at 105, knowing that makes me feel a bit better. So, I’m right there with you.”

He sets the laptop on his nightstand and then loops his arms around Sylvie’s waist, pulling her to him until she’s bracketed by his legs with her back against his chest. He rests his forehead against her temple and places a light kiss to the hinge of her jaw.

“Are _you_ okay, though?” He asks in a voice so soft and tender it makes her _ache_. “You had a knife to your throat. That had to have been scary.”

She takes a deep breath and melts into his hold, letting her head fall back into his shoulder. “I’m okay,” she confirms as she covers his arms, that are settled across her stomach, with her own. “For a second, I thought I was a goner but, thankfully, that second passed quickly.”

His stubbled cheek brushes hers as he angles his head to get a good look at her face. “And what about Early’s guys, are you alright about that?”

“I am, I guess. I think I’m mostly frustrated. I should be comfortable in my place of work. That’s not an outrageous demand, and I’m _not_. Probably won’t ever be,” she admits with a tired sigh. “Even _if_ I report it.”

“If?” He asks, sounding hopeful.

“I had a conversation with Chili today that got me thinking,” she explains. “I keep complaining about Early, but do I really have that right if I’m not willing to _do_ something about it? I was so determined with Pridgen not to let him ruin my work for me and yet here I am in the same situation...being a total doormat. I told myself I would never be a doormat again after Harrison.”

“So,” Matt starts, tightening his arms around her. “What’s stopping you from doing anything about it this time?”

She feels tears spring to her eyes and cloud her vision. She remembers Early hovering over her, standing tall and solid. Never threatening her but still feeling threatened. If he were to ever find out she reported him…

“I’m...I’m scared, Matt,” she confesses as her chin quivers slightly. “I’m scared of what happens if he finds out. He’s _awful_ and I don’t care if it would be anonymous--he’d _know_. He would know it was me. He’s already doing everything he can to ruin my reputation at 105 and I can only imagine how much worse that will get if he really digs his heels in. And it’s so much harder to take a stand without you and the rest of 51--Yes, I have Welch and Chili but...it’s not the same. Chili isn’t _Shay_ and Welch isn’t _you_.”

At first, Matt doesn’t say anything. He simply continues to hold her and presses light kisses from her cheek to the curve of her neck. He lets her cry with no interruptions or platitudes. She’s allowed to _feel_ knowing he’s there and she’s _safe_. Having him wrapped around her and behind her is more than she could have ever asked for while she lets her emotions crash over her. She’s been trying to keep it together for so long and she _can’t_ anymore.

“Just because you’re not at 51 doesn’t mean we can’t have your back too,” Matt reminds her in a voice so soft that it’s nearly a whisper. “You’re a part of the house even when you’re across town. Anytime you need any of us, we’ll show up. All you have to do is ask. If you want to report Early then do it, Sylvie. I’ve got you. Shay’s got you. Hell, Severide’s already made it clear no one’s allowed to mess with you except him so he’s got you too. Do what you need to do and lean on us while you do it. _Lean on me_. That’s why I’m here.”

God, she loves him. She loves him _so damn much_. “Okay.”

“Okay?” He asks, sounding unsure of her meaning.

“Okay, I’ll talk to McCall after my next shift. Somebody has to do something to break the cycle. If I don’t then once I’m back at 51, he’ll pick on someone else. I can’t let that happen,” she explains, speaking every word with a conviction she didn’t know she felt until now. It’s true, though, she has a responsibility to other women in the CFD. Reporting him isn’t just about her. It’s about making the department safe for all women, especially the ones that come up after her.

He nods and rests his chin on her shoulder, murmuring against the shell of her ear. “I’m already proud of you. I know it won’t be easy, but you’re remarkably brave, Sylvie. I’ve seen it up close every shift. You’ve got this.”

She takes a deep cleansing breath and mimics his nod and his words. “I’ve got this.”

It’s funny, when Matt says it...she actually believes it.

“In the meantime,” he says, reaching for his laptop again. “I was looking at listings in the neighborhood where the condo is, just to get an idea of how much it might go for. Care to see?”

“Are you kidding?” She asks with a soggy chuckle, clearing away the last of her tears. “You know how I feel about real estate!”

He laughs quietly against her ear and lays his computer in her lap. When he opens it and types in his password, a page full of listings comes up. For the moment, 105 and Early are forgotten. Right now, all she needs is Matt and Zillow.


	77. Do What You Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Girls Night Out and Boys Night In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** I finished writing the epilogue! YAY! So now I just have to post what I have left. I’ll take a bit of a break from it after that probably (unless I just get super gungho about the one shot collection and can’t stop myself) but you’ll eventually see more of this universe! 
> 
> Can’t wait to share these last few chapters with you guys! I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“I ain't lyin' sayin' havin' a good time,_

_Out with your girls,_

_Girl do what you do._

_No matter how late,_

_Baby I'll be stayin' up,_

_I can't sleep without you.”_

_-“Sleep Without You” by Brett Young_

******

Sylvie needed a night off from worrying about 105. After spending the afternoon wrapped up in Matt, exploring fantasies of what kind of offers the condo might fetch and then exploring _each other_ , she emerges from his room in his boxers and flannel shirt. Shay smirks at her from behind the kitchen counter, nursing a longneck bottle of beer. 

“You look well mussed,” Shay says as she waves a hand over Sylvie from head to toe. “Nice to see Casey’s taking proper advantage of your valuable time.”

Sylvie blushes and laughs. “It’s _valuable_ time, alright, and he manages it very efficiently.”

“Good for you, partner,” Shay says, offering her a hand for a high five—which Sylvie gladly accepts. “Where’s your man now?”

“Passed out. _Hard_. Guess I wore him out,” Sylvie replies with a playfully modest shrug. “I actually came out here to find you.”

“To find me?” Shay asks with a quirked brow.

“Yes. I need a girls’ night,” she declares. “You, me, Stella…”

Shay’s expression turns flat. “You, me, Stella, and?”

“Chili?”

“You gotta be shitting me.”

“Come on, please?” She asks, with a slight pout. “It’ll be good for her to see strong female friendships! I get the impression she hasn’t had much of that since her sister left town.”

“I don’t know,” Shay replies with a narrowed gaze. “This is the same woman who’s been gossiping behind your back—“

“She apologized for that! And she hasn’t done it since!” Sylvie points out, enthusiastically. “Plus, McCall and Hatcher told me to treat her to the _51 Experience_ and — let’s be real — there is no 51 Experience without Leslie Shay.”

The corners of Shay’s stern lips pull upward into a sardonic smirk. She rolls her eyes with fond annoyance. “God, you’re good. Okay, _fine_. You can invite Chili. We’ll start at Molly’s at 7 and then hit the hot spots from there.”

“Yes!” Brett exclaims, hugging her friend victoriously. “You call Stella and I’ll call Chili and then I’m going to go home to get ready! I’m so excited!”

Shay gives her a warning glance. “But if I feel like Chili ever steps out of line or I get a vibe that she’s not trustworthy I reserve the right to lecture her.”

“If you find that to be the case then lecture away,” Sylvie agrees. “I’ve tried but maybe it’ll be better coming from you. Let me go tell Casey what’s going on.”

She walks back into his bedroom to find him still dozing and smiles softly at him. She crawls into bed next to him and under one of his arms. She reaches up and pushes his hair off of his forehead, where it’s fallen after sleeping and some damn good sex.

“Matt,” she says, bringing her hand to rest in his cheek. “Wake up.”

He doesn’t move and she’s a second away from trying again, but his arms sneak around her waist and crush her against him. He hides his face in the curve of her neck and she laughs lightly as she feels his lips and tongue claiming a spot she _knows_ holds a faded hickey. Tucking her under him, he rolls over — one hand bending her knee and drawing her leg around his waist.

She gasps when his teeth scrape her skin in a stingless bite. She _thought_ she’d worn him out but the man is apparently insatiable.

His hands grip her bare waist under the flannel shirt and squeeze. One hand starts to travel lower, skimming over her belly button. 

She fights through her overwhelming need for him to grab his hand, laughing loudly as she pries it away from her skin. “Matt! I came in here to tell you something.”

“Tell me later,” he says with a wolf-ish smirk, finally pulling his mouth away from her neck.

“It’s sort of time sensitive,” she insists. “The girls and I are going out. I have to go home and get ready.”

“You’re leaving?” Matt asks, brows furrowing in disapproval.

“I’ll be back later,” she promises. “We’re going to go to Molly’s and then a few other places. We’ll be back late but I’m coming back here after. I just need a night with my girls. It’s been a long two weeks, Matt.”

He gives her a wan smile and then nods before tenderly kissing her lips. “You’re right. It has. You deserve some time with your friends. I’ve just gotten so used to having you around all the time.”

She chuckles and wraps her arms around his neck. “Wow, so either I’m clingy or you’re spoiled. We’re really caught up in this new couple honeymoon phase aren’t we?”

“When you put it that way, I guess I could use a night to check in with Severide too,” he tells her, grinning crookedly.

“Exactly! See! We both need this!” She replies brightly. “And at the end of the night I’ll come right back here to you.”

“Good, because tomorrow I have a meeting with a realtor about the condo,” Matt tells her. “I’m gonna show her the place and I’d like you to come with me since you love real estate so much. If you want to, that is. I figure we can meet her and then I can take you out for lunch.”

“Sounds like a date!” She replies excitedly. “And yes, I’m calling a meeting with a real estate agent a date.”

He laughs before giving her one last lingering kiss. When he pulls back he smiles down at her with fond amusement. “Wouldn’t have expected anything less.”

******

As soon as Sylvie leaves to get ready at her place, Casey tracks down Severide. “You up for hanging out here tonight?” 

He nods. “Couple of beers followed by cigars on the roof?”

“You read my mind,” Matt replies with a grin. He pauses, thoughtfully, as an idea occurs to him. “You still have Welch’s number?”

Severide suspiciously narrows his eyes at him. “Yeah, why?”

“Invite him over,” Matt requests. “He’s had Sylvie’s back at 105 with no hesitation. We should thank him.”

And maybe Matt can get someone else’s take on what’s been going on with Early and Sylvie. He trusts Sylvie to be honest with him, but her version might be a little lacking -- softened for his benefit. Besides that, Welch knows Early better than either of them. If anyone’s gonna help him figure out what kind of threat this guy is, it’s Welch.

“Okay, in that case, I’ll see what he’s up to,” Severide agrees. 

Matt nods to indicate his thanks and then runs out to the store for a six pack. He gets distracted on the way, picking out some necessary materials for a job he’s working on, and by the time he gets back Welch and Severide are already up on the roof. He sets the beers in the middle of them and shakes Welch’s hand as he sits down in the old lawn chairs they keep for perfect warm summer nights like this one.

“Glad you could make it,” Matt says, genuinely.

Welch snorts and smirks wryly. “Never thought I’d hear _Casey_ say he was glad to see me.”

“Yeah, well, I never thought you’d someday be keeping an eye out on my girlfriend for me,” Matt tells him with a dry chuckle. “Life is full of the unexpected.”

Welch waves him off. “I owe her, plus I’m not really keeping an eye on her so much as Early. The guy’s been a thorn in my ass since I moved back to 105. And, besides that, Brett can handle herself most of the time. The only reason Early’s fixated on her is because he can’t seem to rattle her. Not for long anyway. The asshat is terrified of her. Not that Brett realizes that.”

Severide snorts and gets himself a beer. “Brett tends to do that. She’s a badass who constantly underestimates herself.”

Matt smiles fondly as he contemplates their words with a nod. “And then turns around and does the thing she’s afraid of anyway.” He pauses and meets Welch’s eyes, wanting to gauge the honesty in them. “You got a read on his next move or how this all might go if she reports him?”

“Reports him?” Severide asks, with a furrowed brow. He glares at Matt, puffing up his chest like a protective older brother would. “For what? You mean that bastard’s really been harassing her? Is he stupid?”

Welch quirks a brow and grins. “Yeah, he’s stupid alright. And sleazy and overconfident. He thinks he’s untouchable.” Tommy then meets Matt’s eyes. “She finally decide she’s had enough? Is that why you’re asking?”

“It’s come up,” Matt replies vaguely. “I’d like to be prepared for any possible fallout. In case I end up facing Conduct Unbecoming charges.”

“It’s that bad?” Kelly asks in concern. Matt can see Severide understands now why Matt insisted on inviting Welch.

“I’ve walked up on a couple of exchanges that had the potential to turn dangerous, yeah. Nearly punched the guy’s teeth in last time and given what I saw I don’t think anyone would have blamed me,” Welch admits, hands tightening around his beer bottle. “He was blocking her from getting to her locker, looming over her, while she was in nothing but a towel. And I don’t think it was all for intimidation’s sake. Early had _intent_. I just don’t know what for. Thank God we never found out.”

Matt’s jaw clenches and his hands fist, knuckles going white. “How much worse would I make it by taking her into work myself?”

“Don’t do that,” Tommy orders. “Early sees you bringing her in then he’s gonna double up his efforts. All you’ll do is put an even bigger target on her back.”

That’s what Matt was afraid of.

“What if I do it?” Kelly asks, jaw ticking as he crosses his arms over his chest.

“Early’s got his Squad douchebags crowing about her being easy. Can’t imagine how letting them see another Lieutenant bringing her to work would make anything _better_ ,” Welch informs them, bluntly. Sylvie somehow left out that part in the version she told him. He can’t tell if it was intentional or if she simply didn’t find it as pressing of an issue. Knowing Sylvie, probably the latter.

“So there’s _nothing_ I can do?” Matt asks in frustration.

Welch gives Matt a sympathetic glance, but shrugs as if he’s unaffected. “Aside from let Brett handle it, you mean?”

Matt huffs and shakes his head. Rage is quickly clouding his senses. If he can’t protect and defend the people he loves then what good is he? “He’s threatening her, Welch. Am I just supposed to stand by and _watch_?”

“No, man. If you care about her then your job is to make her life easier, not harder. If you want to do something then ask yourself what you can do to make this less stressful for her. If she reports this, it won’t be easy and she’ll need someone. Figure out how to be that person. Leave Early to me and McCall,” Welch advises, very nearly looking earnest. “You’ve got yourself a keeper, Casey. Brett’s a class act, and if you fuck it up over _Early_ then I will personally kick your ass.”

That’s the moment Matt realizes there’s a different sort of softness in Welch’s eyes when he talks about Sylvie. It’s more similar to a look Matt’s seen in the mirror countless times than it is to the protective fondness currently set in Kelly’s expression.

Welch has actual feelings for Sylvie. _Real_ feelings. Matt didn’t even know Welch was capable of that.

“I have no plans to fuck it up,” Matt replies, giving Welch a stony stare.

Tommy nods and sits back in his chair. “Good. It’s what she deserves.”

After a tense stare down, Welch pulls his eyes down and a way. It’s a symbolic way of telling Matt he’s not a threat. He has no plans to challenge him for Sylvie. Matt wasn’t really worried. He knows his relationship with Sylvie is strong — too strong for Welch’s interest to break it. But he’s glad to know Welch isn’t going to let it get in the way of them both being there for her.

“How about if I show up at 105 and take care of Early for all of us? He’d never see me coming,” Kelly suggests, purposefully breaking the tension.

“Great, then Brett can be pissed at you instead of me,” Matt replies with a lop-sided grin. “Let’s do that.”

Severide laughs and rolls his eyes while he flips Matt the bird. “Screw you.”

******

The night was going pretty well if she did say so herself. Chili was getting along with Shay surprisingly well. She started the night apologizing to Shay for not having Sylvie’s back early on.

“From what she says you guys are tight and you look out for each other. I’ve never had that so I’m still learning. But I’ve got her from now on. You’ll get your partner back safe and sound. I promise. Even if I’m insanely jealous and would rather keep her on 95.”

“She’s the best of the best. I can’t blame you for wanting to keep her,” Shay admits. “But you can’t. Seniority rules.”

They begin and end the night at Molly’s — going dancing in between. Sylvie’s managed to stay just shy of drunk by the time they stumble back through the bar’s front door.

Stella grabs them a table and Shay makes her way behind the bar to get their drinks (as silent partner, she’s allowed). She comes back and takes up the last seat at their hightop. The beers she grabbed for them had just been passed around, when Rafferty, from first shift, appears at their table.

“It figures I’d find a degenerate like yourself here at almost two in the morning,” Rafferty says, snatching up Shay’s beer and stealing a sip.

“Newsflash, tightwad, you’re here too,” Shay replies with a slow sultry grin.

“Not by choice,” Rafferty confesses with an eye roll. “Chout dragged me here for bonding. Thank god you never did that.”

“Our brand of bonding has always been ballbusting,” Shay reminds her as she grabs her longneck bottle back from Rafferty.

Rafferty flashes her half a smirk and leans into Leslie’s space. “Yeah, that and threats to kiss me.”

“Not threats,” Shay replies, with a teasing quirk of her brow. “More like wishful thinking.”

Brett exchanges a wide eyed and curious glance with Kidd. What is happening? They’ve seen Shay line up dates in front of them before but this is different. The chemistry crackles like an electric current on the air. Not only that, but Leslie doesn’t typically bother with banter. She sees someone she likes, she flirts a little, and then dives right in. 

“Maybe next time,” Rafferty tells her. “I’d love an excuse to punch you in the face.”

“Oh, bring it on home to _mama_ , that sounds like the best kind of foreplay to me,” Leslie quips, leaning in and letting her lips hover over Rafferty’s. “What do you say? Wanna do a little experimenting?”

Rafferty places a hand on Shay’s cheek and gently shoves her away. “Oh, get over yourself, and what makes you think I haven’t already? Just because it wasn’t _with you_ doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.”

Leslie blinks at her in surprise, for once unable to formulate a comeback.

Rafferty uses Shay’s silence to her advantage and introduces herself to Chili.

“I don’t know you yet. I’m Allison Rafferty, you are?”

“Jessica Chilton, but call me Chili.”

“Nice to meet you, Chili,” Allison says as she shakes Chili’s hand. “Guess I’d better get back to Chout.” She grabs Shay’s beer with a smug grin as she walks away. “See you around the Firehouse, ladies.”

They all wait a beat, until Rafferty’s out of earshot, before turning on Shay.

“Okay,” Kidd says, her gaze flickering between Leslie and Allison. “What the hell was that?”

“What was what?” Shay asks. She’s trying to play like she’s completely obtuse but the flush spreading across her cheeks gives her away.

“ _That_ ,” Chili says as she elbows Shay and nods to Rafferty. “You and her.”

“What? That was nothing,” Shay replies with a thick swallow. “She’s straight.”

“She is?” Sylvie asks. She’s met Rafferty in passing, but never heard her full story. “Does _she_ know that? Cause that went _well_ beyond ballbusting territory and right into flirty banter.”

“No,” Shay says, shaking her head but letting her eyes linger on Rafferty at the bar. “No, it wasn’t.” She pauses and the looks around the table with a genuine question in her eyes. “Was it?”

“Um, yes!”

“It totally was!”

“Are you serious?”

Their answers were all technically different and they blended together but they were still essentially the same.

Rafferty was flirting, whether she knew it or not.

“You don’t think she’s _really_ been experimenting, do you?” Shay asks them in a hushed tone.

Kidd’s eyes widen as she looks beyond Shay and she smiles mischievously. “Um, I think she has. And I also think she _might_ be ditching Chout for a date.”

“What?” Shay asks in surprise as she twists in her chair. 

They all turn just in time to see Allison meeting a long legged red headed woman at the door, kissing her lips in a tender but chaste greeting. The two women walk hand in hand back to Chout at the bar.

“Holy shit,” Shay curses in disbelief. “When did _that_ happen?”

“I don’t know, but it kinda changes things, doesn’t it?” Sylvie asks, giving her friend a knowing grin. “Seems like I was right about the flirty banter.”

Well, _this_ should be interesting. 

Stella and Sylvie grin secretively at each other. Brett can tell her roommate is thinking the same thing she is. There’s a story starting in this bar tonight and, this time, it’s not about either of _their_ love lives.

Kidd leans toward her to whisper, smirking the entire time. “You wanna place bets on how long it takes them to get together?”

“Yeah, okay,” Sylvie replies, quietly. “By the CFD Gala.”

“Oh, ye of little faith. That’s all the way in the fall! I say give them two months before they’re dating. _Tops_.”

“What the hell are you two gabbing about over there?” Shay asks suspiciously.

“Nothing!” Kidd replies. “Just wondering what our guys are up to.”

When Shay turns back around to look at Rafferty, Chili leans across the table.

“I want in. Who’s bet what so far?”

Sylvie bites her bottom lip to stifle a chuckle. God, she was right. She so needed this. These women are everything to her. They deserve to have a safe work environment and so does she.

That settles it. Next shift, she’s talking to Chief McCall. Her chief needs to know what kind of man Early _truly_ is. The rest of the night is a blast as expected, but it doesn’t last too much longer. The girls are all leaning toward tipsy so it’s best to quit while they’re ahead. Stella goes back to their place to wait on Severide who’ll be joining her momentarily and Sylvie goes with Shay because she promised Matt she’d come home to him at the end of the girls’ night.

She’s reached the emotional ending to her near-drunkenness. This is always how it happens. She starts out giddy and talkative and ends up a tearful mess. She’s a drunk girl cliche. But it hits her as their car reaches the apartment building and she feels immensely guilty for not confiding in Shay about Early. She didn’t do it on purpose. She only has so much energy to talk about it and she usually spends that with Welch, Chili and Matt.

“Hey, Shay,” Brett says as their car drops them off outside of the building. “Can I ask you a favor?”

“Of course. What’s up, Partner?” She asks as she loops her arm through Sylvie’s.

They keep walking into the building and toward the elevator as they talk.

When she speaks her voice is soft and apologetic. She unintentionally left Shay out of the drama at 105 and she hates that she has to catch her up while they’re both slightly impaired.

“Can you give me a ride to 105 next shift? Maybe walk me inside?”

Shay tenses and slowly turns her head, focusing a narrowed gaze on Sylvie. “What happened?”

“I have a situation with Early. I’d ask Matt to take me but with the rumors about us at that house--”

“A situation? As in a Pridgen type of _situation_?” Leslie asks. Her tone is near lethal.

Sylvie swallows thickly and presses the call button for the elevator. “It might be worse than Pridgen. Early is... _persistent_.”

“What the _fuck_ , Brett. Does Casey know?”

She nods. “Yeah. He does. That’s _why_ I’m not asking him to take me to work next shift. I’m not sure Early would survive it. And I just...I need a little back up. Before and _after_ shift.”

The elevator doors open and they step inside. Shay seems to understand the meaning in her words, but she elaborates anyway.

“I plan to talk to McCall after my shift. I’ve been hesitant to because of Pridgen and the rumor about me and Matt. I don’t--I don’t want to be the CFD’s sexual harassment poster girl but I can’t ignore it anymore. Eventually I’ll be back at 51 and when I am he’ll just harass some other woman,” Brett confesses in a frantic rush, tears welling up in her eyes. “I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I let that happen.”

As soon as the doors close, Shay wraps Sylvie up in a tight hug. “You’ll be back at 51 soon enough,” Shay assures her. “Might as well take this asshole down while you wait. I’ll do whatever you need me to do, Sylvie. Say the word and I’m there.”

“Thank you,” Sylvie replies as she returns the embrace just as tightly. “I need my partner for this one.”

Shay pulls back from their hug to meet her eyes. “Your partner _always_ has your back, even when you’re detailed to another ambo at another house.”

The doors open onto their floor. They compose themselves and blink back emotional tears as they reach the apartment.

“Hey,” Shay says as she unlocks the door, getting Sylvie to look her in the eye. “We’re gonna kick his ass. The douchebag won’t know what hit him when we’re through. You copy?”

Sylvie gives her a watery grin and nods firmly. “Copy that.”


	78. The Good Ones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt shows Sylvie support during her next shift at 105.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** Judging on your comment you guys had a lot of expectations for this chapter and I feel like this chapter isn’t going to be what you expect but I hope you still love it.
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“He’s one of the good ones,_

_A love me like he should one,_

_Like he wrote the book one,_

_The kind you find when you don’t even look one,_

_Anybody can be good once,_

_But he’s good all the time,_

_He’s one of the good ones,_

_And he’s all mine.”_

_“The Good Ones” by Gabby Barrett_

******

It’s morning of Sylvie’s next shift at 105 and Casey is hovering.

He knows he is and he knows he’s annoying the hell out of Sylvie, but he can’t seem to stop.

“Okay, so one more time--”

“Matt,” Sylvie says with a groan that’s half amused and half frustrated. “For the last time, Shay is taking me to work and picking me up. While I’m on shift Welch or Chili will stick to me like glue. After my shift is over, Chili and I are going to go talk to McCall together and Welch will come along to back us up. And since Chili is no longer spying on me, I will keep my phone in my hoodie pocket at all times. Good enough?”

He lets out a relieved exhale, kisses her quickly, and then nods. “Good enough. I’ll fill Boden in just so he’s prepared if McCall reaches out to him. You’ll call me as soon as you leave 105 in the morning? Or if Shay, for whatever reason, can’t make it?”

Sylvie sets her half eaten yogurt aside and then turns to him, framing his face with her hands and making sure he meets her eyes. “I promise I will call you as soon as the meeting’s over and I’m walking out the door. I promise I’ll call you if I need a ride. _And_ I promise I’ll keep you in the loop during my shift. I’ve got my bases covered. I can handle this.”

Her stare is utterly confident. It’s such a turn around from the woman he held in his arms night before last. He’s even more impressed with her than he was before and possibly twice as in love with her. Is that even possible?

“I know you can,” he replies with a sincere gaze, letting his arms encircle her waist. “I just don’t want you to feel like you _have_ to handle it alone.”

She smiles warmly at him and pulls his lips to hers for a lingering, but chaste, kiss. “I don’t feel like I have to handle it alone. I know I can turn to you if I need to, but I like knowing I can take care of this myself. Does that make sense?”

He nods and rests his forehead against hers, taking in the way his soap mingles with her shampoo and the woodsy yet floral scent it creates around them. “It makes perfect sense. I get it. I really do.”

“I knew you would,” she replies softly, thumbs caressing his cheeks.

“Oh gross,” Shay declares with an eye roll. “Save it for after shift, love birds. We gotta go, Partner. You ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.” she answers, stealing one last kiss from Matt and snatching up her yogurt. She grabs her duffle and her hoodie and waves at him over her shoulder as she leaves.

“Don’t worry so much,” Shay tells him, stopping in the doorway. “You’re not the only one that’s watching her back, Casey. We all make sure she’s okay. Together.”

He rubs a hand over his face anxiously but nods. “Yeah, you’re right. I know you’re right.”

Casey takes a few minutes to himself after they leave before heading to 51. Sylvie felt Boden needed to know what was going on but with her at 105 it’s not easy for her to tell him herself so she’d asked Matt if he minded. He doesn’t mind, but he’s not sure he can tell the story Sylvie told him without punching a wall or getting in a few hours training with the sledge.

If he’s honest, he’s hoping this is where Boden draws a line in the sand -- where the Chief pulls out a few favors he’s been saving for a rainy day and gets Sylvie back at 51 where she belongs. But realistically he’s not sure how likely that is or how many times Boden can call in a favor so he decides not to get his hopes up.

Right now, it’s about gathering as much support for Sylvie as he can. She’s going to need 51 to have her back. He has no doubt that filing this complaint will bring everything with Pridgen out into the open again.

He finds Boden in his office about fifteen minutes before bells up and raps lightly on the door.

“Chief, you got a second?” Matt asks.

Boden nods and waves him in. “What do you need?”

“I wanted to bring you into the loop on something,” he tells him, closing Boden’s office door behind him. He waits to continue until he’s standing next to the Chief and can look him in the eyes. “Brett’s had some _issues_ at 105 and she’ll be filing a formal complaint against an officer over there today. Chief McCall may reach out. Sylvie didn’t want you to be blindsided.”

Boden tenses and stands, crossing his arms over his chest and locking his jaw. “What sort of issues and which officer?”

“Lieutenant Early on Squad 2,” Matt replies, blowing out an angry breath. “Sexual harassment.”

“And is there a particular reason I wasn’t brought in on this sooner?” Boden asks as his eyes narrow.

Matt sighs tiredly and fists his hands at his sides. “Between you and me?”

The Chief nods but remains quiet.

“She had a lot of reasons but the two biggest ones were being terrified Early might retaliate and worrying that it might follow her around for the rest of her career -- after what went down with Pridgen. It wasn’t my story to tell so I had to hang back until she was ready to make a move. I respect you a hell of a lot, Chief, but it was Sylvie’s decision and she had to make it for herself,” Casey tells him, apologetically. “It wasn’t meant as any disrespect to you.”

Boden’s arms fall back to his sides and he rounds his desk while reaching for his phone. He grips the phone so tightly that Matt thinks he might snap it in half.

“Thank you for your honesty, Casey,” he says through gritted teeth. “When the time comes, 51 will stand by Brett. Now, if you’ll excuse me I have some phone calls to make. I’m done with Riddle’s games. I should never have let this stand. Tell Brett I’ll have her back home soon even if I have to call in every favor I’m owed. You got that?”

A triumphant grin spreads across Matt’s lips before he nods. “Copy that, Chief.”

Casey spends his morning arranging it so Kidd can cover for Ambo the last half hour of shift, just to make sure Shay doesn’t get stuck on a last minute call. It’s more important today than any other day that Shay get out on time. 

Sylvie keeps her promise and texts him throughout the day, updating him on her calls and all the ways Welch and Chili were watching her back. Some of it he actually found amusing. At one point he got a picture of an unimpressed Sylvie with Welch in the background standing by the back door of the ambo like a bouncer at a nightclub. In the afternoon, she sends him a short clip of her and Chili playing double dutch with a few of the neighborhood kids, laughing their asses off when Brett tripped and landed flat on her rear.

He replies, _“you need an ice pack for that?”_

_“Don’t laugh! I think I broke something!”_

_“Other than your pride?”_

_“Hey! I’d like to see you try it!”_

_“If it’s not football, baseball, hockey, or soccer, you can keep it.”_

_“Right, because you’re too chicken to actually do it. You already know it takes skills you don’t have.”_

That’s a challenge if he’s ever read one. _“I am not scared of a little jump rope.”_

_“It’s not jump rope, it’s double dutch. And if it doesn’t scare you, then try it!”_

He narrows his eyes on his phone. Oh, it’s on now. Normally, he wouldn’t indulge this but both he and Sylvie need a little lighthearted fun today. He decides that today is the day to run a new kind of drill with his Truck crew.

The only person who is completely resistant to trying it is Otis, who opts to record instead. 

Sylvie was right, though, it takes a kind of skill he doesn’t have. Mouch and Herrmann don’t have it either, but Stella doesn’t miss a beat. Matt takes his phone back from Otis and sends Sylvie short clips from each video.

_“Okay, it’s not great but at least I didn’t fall on my ass.”_

_“Oh. My. God. You actually tried it! This is the best thing I’ve ever seen in my life!”_

He did it. He’s amused and distracted her on a stressful day. Why does that feel like such a huge life accomplishment? He spends the rest of the day puffed up with pride. It’s massively ridiculous how phenomenal it feels knowing he made her happy.

Jesus, he’s a lovesick idiot.

He wouldn’t have tried double dutch for literally _anyone else_. Only her.

At 6:30, when Shay leaves 51 headed for 105, Matt calls Sylvie. There’s no distraction big enough to keep her from thinking about what’s coming at the end of her shift. Not anymore.

She answers on the second ring.

“Hey.”

He can hear the nerves in her voice -- the slight tremble she’s gotten good at hiding from everyone else.

“You’re impressive,” he says without preamble. “Just thought I’d remind you in case you were doubting it.”

She sighs, sounding wistful. “You’ve got impeccable timing, Matt Casey.”

“For you I try my best,” he admits. “It’s going to be okay. You’re doing the right thing, and you’ve got all the support you can stand while you’re at it.”

“You really are too good to me sometimes,” Sylvie mutters quietly.

“Not possible,” Matt disagrees. “Thirty more minutes, you tell your story, and then Shay brings you to our place. You’ve got this, Sylvie Brett. I know you do.”

“Thirty more minutes?” She asks, taking a deep breath when she’s done.

“Thirty more minutes,” he echoes. “That’s all.”

They hang up not long after that as 95 gets a call for a wellness check. Matt finishes up his incident reports and once that’s done, shift is over. He changes and heads home to wait for Sylvie. He suspects her meeting with McCall might take some time, even with Chili and Welch backing her up.

He keeps himself busy with his side job, filing for a few permits for a new site and then requesting inspections. By the time he finishes, it’s just after nine. He’s about to text Sylvie to check in when the front door opens. Shay steps inside first, nodding at Matt. He mimics her gesture and walks over to meet them at the door.

The first thing he notices is that Sylvie looks exhausted, as she always does when finishing a shift at 105, but this time it’s more emotional exhaustion than physical exhaustion. She heads straight for Matt, wrapping her arms around him and nestling her head into the curve of his neck. He doesn’t hesitate to respond, tucking her closer to his chest.

“Everything go okay?” He asks worriedly.

“Exactly as planned,” she replies with a sigh. “It’s done. McCall’s going to take care of it. Welch thinks she’ll try and push for Conduct Unbecoming charges.”

“Good,” Casey replies, tenderfly kissing the top of her head. “Boden wanted you to know that he’s doubling down on his efforts to get you transferred back.”

“Thank God,” Shay calls from the kitchen “No offense to Borelli but I want my partner back.”

Sylvie’s gone quiet and thoughtful but she pulls her face out of Matt’s neck to give Shay a wan smile and nod. 

Matt rubs his hands up and down her back. “I have a suggestion for something we can do today.”

“I don’t know that I feel like doing anything,” Sylvie replies.

“That’s too bad because I have reno job right now and I was really hoping for some help with Demo Day--”

Her eyes brighten and she looks up so fast that her forehead almost collides with his jaw. “Demo Day? You mean smashing things? _Intentionally_?”

He grins and nods. “Been saving it expressly for today. What do you say? Care to take out some of your anger on a few non-load bearing walls?”

She beams at him and then speaks between quick popping kisses. “Best. Boyfriend. Ever.”


	79. Love Like This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brett and Casey come back to the apartment after demo day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** Well, we’ve reached the last smutty chapter of this fic! So this is the last time I say…
> 
> HERE BE SMUT. Not safe to read in public unless you feel comfortable turning down your screen brightness lol. 
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“It takes two,_

_It takes two to love like this,_

_To love like this,_

_Yeah, it takes two,_

_Now, you and I can’t quit.”_

_-“Takes Two” by Maren Morris_

******

His plan to let Sylvie hammer out her anger, sadness, and fear worked like a charm. She’s smiling and laughing and lighter than he’s seen her in weeks despite the fact that they’re both covered in dirt and dust and who knows what else.

“Okay,” she says, chuckling as she tries to brush her grimey hands on her jeans. “I have never participated in a demo day before and now that I have I am coming along for all of them. We’re making that a relationship rule.”

He laughs as he unlocks the apartment door and nods. “Noted and filed.” He pushes the door open and motions for her to lead the way. “You shower first, I can--”

She pushes up onto her toes and interrupts him with a press of her lips to his. It’s a pleasantly surprising move and causes him to smile against her mouth. He wastes no time responding. He wraps his arms around her and backs her up into the apartment, pushing the door closed with his free hand. Her lips part, wordlessly beckoning him to deepen the kiss and happily obliges.

Her hands settle on his hips, fingers twisting in the belt loops of his jeans, and tugs him down the hall. They kiss their way toward his bedroom door, stepping inside and pausing only to lock it behind them. 

“How about,” she begins between kisses. “We save water. Shower together.”

He trails his hands from her back to the backs of her thighs and lifts, picking her up and holding her against him. “Cost effective and efficient. I like it,” he agrees, smiling into the next kiss. 

He carries her into the bathroom and sets her down on the edge of the sink. She grips the bottom hem of his shirt and pulls, separating their mouths so he can help her get the shirt up and off. She drops it on the floor and then lifts her arms over her head, pointing an expectant stare on him -- inviting him to return the favor.

He smiles at her in amusement before grabbing the edge of her dust covered tank top and lifting it slowly. The gradual reveal of her creamy smooth skin will never get old for him. It feels like unwrapping the most exquisite present each and every time. When the tank top joins his shirt on the floor, he reaches for the fly of her jeans. He unbuttons and unzips her and peels the tight denim and lacy underwear off of her at painstakingly slow pace. When that’s done, she hops down from the sink and crowds him back against the wall.

He sucks in a deliciously started breath when her hand grips him through his jeans. She lets out a soft triumphant giggle at his reaction and fastens her lips to his neck. She makes quick work of the button fly on his jeans. He feels the pop of each button before her hands are on his waist slipping under the fabric to both caress his skin and push the denim down, taking his boxers with it. He steps out of them and releases her momentarily to start the water. He returns to her while the water heats, kissing her searchingly. As the steam built up around them, he relieved her of her bra. Now, all their clothes rest in a messy pile on the floor, and they’re left standing naked outside the shower. 

Has he mentioned how much he enjoys having a naked Sylvie Brett all to himself? Because he does. He _enjoys_ that very much. He takes a moment to drink her in from head to toe, proud and pleased to see her flushed face and kiss swollen lips. The knowledge that he’s the reason she looks well-loved puffs up his chest and causes a cocky crooked smirt to form on his face.

His hands grab either side of her face and yank her lips back to his, pulling her into the shower and the running water as he does. He lifts her again, pressing her against the tile and shielding her from most of the spray with his back. She drops one of her hands between them, gripping the length of him and swiping a thumb over the sensitive tip. 

He moans into her mouth and then rears back with a sudden panicked thought. 

“Condom,” he says as he tries to step back and set her down.

She locks her legs around him, crossing them by the ankles behind him. “You don’t need it.”

“What?” He asks in shock.

Her darkened hazy eyes find his and she grins bashfully at him, as if she’s afraid she’s over stepped. “I just mean...you don’t _have_ to go get one if you don’t want to. I’m on the pill, I’m clean, and I have no doubt you are too. I don’t feel like you need one, but I won’t stop you from going to get one if _you_ need one.”

She bites her bottom lip nervously but maintains her hold on his gaze as she waits for his answer. When he doesn’t speak she rambles on.

“Or I mean, you could always pull out or--”

This time he surprises _her_ with a kiss, cutting off her nervous chatter. He cranes his neck backward to look her in the eyes. “Are you sure?”

She smiles serenely and nods. “I trust you, Matt. I’m sure.”

He feels the awe and astonishment before it shows on his face. A slow smile full of adoration spreads across his face. This is a big step. He knows. It’s a scary very committed step and yet she’s just crashing through it like it’s the most natural thing in the world. _Jesus,_ he loves this woman. More than he ever thought possible.

He presses his forehead to hers and meets her eyes, gazing into her crystal blue pools of _certainty_ , as he presses his shaft against her. He grinds and teases her. She whimpers and moves with him, over and over again. When she’s writhing, with her hands gripping his short hair in closed fists, he slowly pushes inside. Little by little, savoring it, like that first dip into a hot bath. When he’s all the way in, overwhelmed by her and the perfect way they fit, he captures her mouth with his. Without any barriers between them, the sensations and emotions are completely different -- more intimate than _ever_ before.

He takes his time with her. So much time that he’s concerned about the water turning cold, but he pushes that to the back of his mind. He’s thrusting in and out of her as a torturous pace. Her head falls back, resting against the tile, her lips parting in ecstasy. He wants to keep her right there on the precipice of pleasure until she can’t stand it anymore. But he knows _he_ can’t hold out much longer.

His name falls off her lips accompanied by another whimper, bringing his attention to her face.

She opens her eyes again. They crash against his.

“Faster,” she requests, hoarsely. “ _Please_.”

Not one to deny her anything she wants, he nods and picks up the pace. Harder accompanies _faster_ just based on his own need. He’s starting to lose himself in her. About the time he’s reached the end of his rope, Sylvie cries out -- back arching, muscles clenching, thighs quivering as she comes. As she’s returning to herself, her hands run over his back and through his hair to encourage him.

She crushes his lips with hers in an earth shattering kiss and then slides her mouth along his jaw in an incendiary trail, nibbling a little as she goes. It’s pushing him further and further toward his wit’s end. His movements become more and more erratic. He shifts their position, to get a more solid foothold, changing his angle only slightly. But his next thrust elicits a gasping breath from Sylvie.

“Oh,” she says, eyes widening. “Oh my god.”

His brow furrows as he continues to thrust. The words to ask if she’s okay start to break through his fog of love and lust but he never gets the chance. The answer makes itself evident a moment later when she releases his shoulder to clamp a hand down over her mouth. 

She muffles a scream with her hand while the rest of her quivers and pulses all around him -- right down to her core. Oh, _holy shit_ , changing position must have found the _exact_ right spot. Her second orgasm finishes him off -- like her he needs to muffle himself in order to keep the whole apartment from hearing him. He hides his face in her shoulder, pressing his mouth against her collar bone while his body is rocked with an explosion of euphoria. As he’s coming down, he feels both exhausted and sated but no cleaner than he did when he first turned on the water.

He chuckles softly as he pulls out of her and sets her feet down on the shower floor. He rests his lips against her temple, kissing her lightly before he speaks. “I don’t think we saved any water.”

She laughs, wrapping her arms around his neck and running her slender fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. “No, we definitely did not.” She’s breathing heavily, naked chest heaving while still being pressed to his, but grinning like a loon. “That was... _oh my god_. There’s not even a word for it. I--I’m gonna need the rest of the day to recover.”

“Then I guess we’d better get you cleaned up first,” Matt replies, tenderly kissing her again and turning them to dip her into the lukewarm shower spray. He grabs the floral scented shampoo she’s started keeping in his shower and squirts some into his hands. He keeps them pressed chest to chest as he massages it through her hair and into her scalp. 

She moans in pleasure, leaning into his touch. “You have the most amazing hands. In case you didn’t know. You for sure know how to use them when you really want to.”

“I’d better,” he says with an easy smile. “My hands are kind of my livelihood.”

“You don’t have to do this, you know,” she tells him, resting one hand on his wrist as he finishes lathering her hair. 

“I know,” he replies, leaning down to kiss the tip of her nose. “I want to.”

“I swear to god, you’re a unicorn among men, Matt Casey.”

******

They take an actual shower together and then change clothes. By the time they’re done, they’re famished. 

“We should go out,” Brett suggests as she buckles the thin strap on her sandals.

“Sure,” Matt says with a nod. “You’ve been wanting to check out the Irish Pubs on Western Ave, right? I haven’t been there in ages myself. Tonight might be a good night for that. And we for sure aren’t gonna see a lot of people we know in Beverly. So, you won’t have to worry about anyone from 105.”

She pauses and stares at him for a thoughtful moment. “Hm, maybe. But I think I’m in the mood for some asian fusion and Wicker Park is closer.”

He turns with a furrowed brow. “Wicker Park is near Molly’s.”

She laughs and nods. “Uh huh. I’m new to the city but I’m not _that_ new, Matt.”

“But if we go to Wicker Park we’re pretty much guaranteed to see someone from 105,” he clarifies, still feeling completely confused by her suggestion. “This whole time we’ve been dating we’ve been avoiding that. Any time we go to Molly’s we sit at different tables or opposite ends of the bar-- I don’t think we can get away with that at a place like Bento Box.”

She stands from the bed and joins him by his dresser as he pockets his wallet and his keys.

Her arms slide around him, until she’s pressed to his side and resting her chin on his shoulder. “What if I don’t want to avoid running into anyone from 105 anymore?”

His eyes widen as he looks down at her. “What?”

That’s the second time he’s said that to her today with an awestruck look on his face. She is constantly surprising him.

“Hiding my relationship with you to anyone outside of 51 has not made anything at 105 any easier,” she explains. “They all assume what they want regardless. So, why am I punishing myself and, as a result, you too? I don’t want to hide you anymore. You’re my boyfriend and I want to hang out at Molly’s with your arm on the back of my chair or, hell, even sitting at the same table would be nice. I’m tired of being _afraid_ , Matt. I just want to be with you. Regardless of what anyone else thinks.”

“You’re _sure_?” He asks her, turning them so they’re embracing each other front to front. “I want you to make the best decision for _you_ , Sylvie. I’m in this regardless of--”

“I _know_ ,” she assures him. “I don’t feel pressured to do this. I want to do it _for me_ \-- _for us_.”

He smiles wider than he has in a long time, kisses her soundly, and then nods. “Okay, Wicker Park and asian fusion food it is.”

“And Molly’s after?” She asks, with a confident smile and lifted brows.

“And Molly’s after,” he confirms. 

“Sounds like a perfect night out with my _boyfriend_. Are you gonna be okay if I call you something that sounds so high school in front of other people?” She asks him teasingly.

He smiles wryly and shrugs, feigning carelessness and hiding the giddy feeling bubbling up in his chest. “I think I can let it slide.”

They’re making progress on all fronts today.

Well, all except one. He still hasn't gotten up the guts to say _the words_.

He swallows thickly as he thinks about it and then decides against it. Later, there’s too much going on now. They need to get her back to 51 first. The words can wait until she’s under less stress. Or that’s what he’s choosing to tell himself anyway.

Honestly, sometimes when it comes to Sylvie Brett he’s a bumbling nervous _coward_.

This is one of those times.


	80. Down to the Wire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Sylvie's first shift after filing her complaint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** One more chapter and an epilogue after this! We’re so close to the end! I hope you guys enjoy the ending! And don’t forget, you’ll be seeing more of this universe in the future! Just less frequently and in a slightly different format! 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoy this chapter!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“Down to the wire,_

_I wanted water but,_

_I walk through the fire,_

_If this it takes to take me even higher,_

_Then I’ll come through like I do,_

_When the world keeps testing me.”_

_-“Vultures” by John Mayer_

******

Matt’s truck pulls over to the sidewalk outside of 105, and he glances between Sylvie and the apron. “Do you want me to walk you in?”

She smiles kindly at him but shakes her head. “Chili is meeting me right outside. That’ll keep Early out of my hair. Besides,” she says leaning across the seat to give him a lingering but chaste kiss. “I’m not letting you get close enough to punch him. He’s not worth you getting in trouble over.”

Matt quirks a brow at her. “I don’t know about _that_. After all he’s put you through I wouldn’t mind a little trouble with him.”

“Stop,” she says with a dry laugh.

She almost didn’t let him drive her to work this morning, but they’d run into one of Early’s squad guys at Molly’s and there was no doubt he’d find out. Having Matt keep his distance from her didn’t make sense anymore.

“Call me if you need me,” Matt tells her as she leans away from him and reaches for the door.

“You know I will,” she replies. “See you in the morning.”

He nods and holds out her travel mug to her once she’s standing on the sidewalk. “Be careful.”

“You too,” she says, narrowing her eyes on him. “We both know you’re more of a risk than me.”

He laughs but doesn’t disagree with her. “Copy that.”

She shuts the door and walks toward Chili, who stands outside the bay doors. Matt doesn’t leave. She chuckles to herself as she walks. She knew he wouldn’t. He’s going to wait until she reaches Chili, like the protective and caring man he is.

“Good morning,” Sylvie says, smiling pleasantly at her temporary partner.

Chili quirks a brow at her and smirks teasingly. “Good morning. Looks like somebody finally let their dirty little secret out into the open, huh?”

Sylvie looks back over her shoulder and waves -- just in time for Matt to start his truck and pull away from the curb. “Yes, I did. Though I wouldn’t call him _dirty_ \-- or well maybe I would,” Sylvie admits with a blush as she watches Matt’s truck disappear down the block.

Chili laughs and looks impressed. “Damn, then I’m happy for you, partner. Someone as sweet as you deserves a little dirty in their lives. But why today?”

Sylvie shrugs, shoving down her anxiety over finally filing a complaint at the end of last shift, and answers Chili with all the feigned calm she can muster. “I’m tired of being afraid of Early. He only has power over me if I let him, and I’m not going to let him. Not anymore.”

The next moment, Chili does something she’s never done before. She wraps Sylvie up in a hug. A big swaying hug. It takes Sylvie a minute to return the gesture but she chuckles faintly as she does.

“You are honestly amazing,” Chili tells her. “Thank you for inviting me to drinks the other night and thank you for calling me out on my shit. I think you might be the first _actual_ friend I’ve had in a long time.”

“You are welcome to come to drinks with us anytime!” Sylvie assures her as they pull apart. “And now you don’t just have one friend. You have Kidd and Shay too. Call us anytime you need us.”

They head inside after that. Sylvie waves to Welch as she passes him and heads toward the locker room with Chili. He nods and trails behind them.

“Heard you and Casey made a public appearance at Molly’s the other night,” Welch says.

She nods and gives him an odd look, not sure what he’s getting at. “We did.”

“You sure that was the best idea?” He asks as his brow furrows in worry.

“No, but I’m sick of not being able to live my life,” she replies. “Matt’s a part of my life and I want him to _stay_ a part of my life. It doesn’t make sense to deny that anymore. And if Early has a problem with it then he can go screw himself.”

Even _she’s_ shocked by her wording and how firm her tone is. But the truth is, she’s had _enough_.

Welch smirks at her, looking proud, and nods. “Yes, ma’am. By the way, you’re safe for now. Early covered first shift and he’s out with those guys, gassing up the Squad rig. But he was in rare form when I got here to meet with McCall this morning. Safe to say he’s been made aware of the complaint, the review, and the impending charges.”

Chili nods and gives Sylvie a sympathetic grimace. “They left just as I was getting here to change into my gear. I saw him and I can confirm he was definitely in a _mood_.”

“Let him rage. It’s his own damn fault,” Sylvie mutters, rolling her eyes.

They reach the locker room. Sylvie throws her bag inside and _just_ as she locks it, the bells go off.

“Already?” Sylvie asks with a shake of her head. “This is gonna be a _day_ , isn’t it?”

“Most likely,” Chili agrees as they make a break for the ambo. 

They arrive on scene at a sports bar. The noise inside is deafening and the place is packed.

“It’s just after eight in the morning,” Sylvie says as they step out of the ambo. “Why is there a packed house at a bar?”

“Guess we’re about to find out,” Chili says as she hands Sylvie the jump bag.

They head inside and the bartender directs them to the other end of the bar, where a man sits doubled over and holding a roll of paper towels to his head. A _whole roll_. He’s bleeding pretty steadily but it’s not too heavy. They can do a quick patch up and get him to Med, likely without any further complications.

Sylvie sets the jump bag down on the stool next to him and opens it up to get the gauze while Chili takes a look. 

“Can you tell me what happened, sir?” Chili asks.

“That asshole,” the man sneers as he points to a guy sitting at a nearby table with a woman who appears to be trying to calm him down. “Slammed my head into the bar for no damn reason!”

“No reason?” The other man shouts as he stands up. “You _spit_ on my girl because she’s a Warriors fan, you douchebag.”

“The Cavs should have had that game!” Their patient yells.

“Okay,” Sylvie says holding her hands out between the two men and trading awkward glances with Chili. “I’m gonna have to ask you both to calm down.”

“Bitch,” their patient sneers with a glare. “I’ll calm down when I want to calm down.” Chili locks her jaw and glares at the man as she works on him but says nothing. He obliviously continues his rant. “And what kind of dumb _slut_ is a Warriors fan anyway?”

“What did you just say?” The man asks, standing from the table. His girlfriend grabs his arm and tries to pull him back down but he refuses.

“I said...what kind of _dumb slut_ —“

“Shut the fuck up!”

Sylvie barely has time to jump out of the way before their patient is ambushed. Chili gets knocked to the ground, roll of gauze still in her hand, and then all _hell_ breaks loose. Each man has buddies that come to their defense and in seconds the fight has spread across the whole bar.

Chili pushes her way through to reach Sylvie, taking a stray elbow to the stomach as she does. She grabs a hold of Sylve and closes up the jump bag, zipping it quickly. There’s no way for them to get out. The fighting is blocking both exits. Chili huffs in irritation.

“This is ambo 95 requesting a 10-1 and a manpower assist,” Chili shouts into the radio on her shoulder.

Suddenly, Sylvie is shoved from behind, pushed away from Chili and into the middle of the fray.

“Brett!” Chili shouts.

She’s caught in a flurry of punches and kicks and smashing bottles and there’s no way to avoid all of them. She only knows not to let herself get knocked down. She brings her arms up to shield her face and tries to stay as still as possible. _Jesus Christ_ , this is terrifying.

She cries out as foot connects with the back of her calf, forcing her down. She tries to stay up right but the movement knocks her around from man to man like a pinball and there’s no possible way to keep her balance.

_“Main to Squad 2, you’re nearest 95’s location at two minutes out. Can you take a manpower assist at 5 W Hubbard Street?”_

_“Squad 2 to Main we are en route,”_ Early’s voice calls out.

He’s her least favorite person but even knowing Early’s on the way feels like a miracle. Sylvie lands on her knees with a thud. A stray fist hits her shoulder, forcing her down further. Holding her hands out to brace herself, her left palm lands on a piece of glass. It slices into her skin with a prolonged sting.

“Shit!” She curses, quickly prying the shard from the wound. 

Luckily, she has a roll of gauze in her pocket and retrieves it, closing her bleeding palm around it. Get up, _Sylvie_. She betates herself. _Get up_. She makes it to a squatting position and inch by inch raises herself, ducking fists and elbows as she goes.

She’s almost standing when Chili’s voice pierces through the crowd and the radio.

_“Ambo 95 to Squad 2, what is your location? We’re caught up in a bar fight and we’ve been waiting for back up for four minutes!”_

Four minutes? Time is either passing quicker in light of her panic or at some point she blacked out. She honestly can’t be sure which. What a terrible thought that is. She has to get out of this crowd. _Now_.

“Chili!” Brett yells above the chaos. “Where are you?”

“Brett! Can you see the bar?” Chili yells back. “Head toward it!”

_“Main to Squad 2, report!”_

Brett tries to force her way through, cradling her hand to her chest. She’s almost reached the bar when she catches an elbow to the jaw. The force of it sends her reeling. She collapses to the floor, unable to catch herself this time, and blinks through the pain and her spinning vision. Her ears are ringing and she can feel her heart thumping against her ribs. She sees a collective blur of feet all around her and mentally braces herself for the moment someone steps on her or kicks her. It’s a probable certainty that she can’t foresee herself avoiding now.

Suddenly the radio on her shoulder crackles to life with a familiar but angry voice. _“Main, this is Squad 3. We’re pulling up at 5 W Hubbard Street now. Requesting to overtake the call.”_

_“Main to Squad 3, that’s an affirmative. Request granted.”_

_Seconds_ later, the door bursts open and more familiar voices can be heard shouting above the fighting. She recognizes every single one of them. They all sound so beautiful that it makes her want to cry. The yelling gets louder as the voices come closer. Sylvie keeps her injured hand tucked against her chest and covers her head with her other arm. Everything is still swimming from the elbow to her jaw.

“Knock it off!”

“Back up! Yeah, you heard me! Back! Up!”

“Brett! Chilton! Call out!”

“Here!” Chili responds. She hears shuffling to her left and suddenly Chili’s arm is around her. “Over here! We gotta get Brett to a medic!”

“Shit! Brett!”

Severide’s voice sticks out above all the others as he reaches her. “I got her,” he tells Chili. “Get your jump bag. We’re getting you checked out too.” Once Chili’s gone, Kelly helps her to her feet. “Jesus, are you okay? Did you get hit?”

Sylvie nods as she furiously tries to catch her breath and blink the pained tears from her eyes. She thinks one eye might be in the process of swelling shut. There’s a dark edge to her vision. The arm pressed to her chest instinctively reaches out for Severide but she stops herself. She holds it up and away from any surfaces. 

“Careful, M’bleeding,” she grits out. “Landed on glass, Got kicked a couple of times, hit across the jaw and temple. But I’m okay! I mean everything kind of hurts, but I’m okay. I think. Hard to tell.”

“I’m gonna fucking kill Early,” Severide mutters. “Where the _hell_ was Squad 2?”

A wave of dizziness washes over her and she stumbles, nearly falling out of Severide’s hold on her arms and waist. 

“Whoa, _whoa_ , okay,” Kelly says gently. “Walking is clearly not an option for you.”

“No, no. I’m fine. I can—“

Severide cuts her off by scooping her up with an arm under her back and another under her knees. “Uh huh, not buying it. Besides, if Casey ever finds out I let you walk out of here when you possibly have a concussion he'll have my head.”

“Jesus, Brett,” Cruz says, following closely behind. “You alright?”

“I’m fine,” she replies. “Severide’s just being overbearing.”

Cruz chuckles and shakes his head. “I think overbearing might be called for when a person looks as rough as you do.”

“Gee, thanks,” she remarks, flatly.

“Does Casey know you’re a terrible patient?” Severide asks her teasingly. He sets her down on the back bumper of Squad 3 while Chili rushes over to take a look at her.

“I’m so sorry,” Chili tells her as she starts to clean the gash on Sylvie’s hand. “I shouldn’t have let us get separated.”

“Chili, this isn’t your fault,” Sylvie tells her, though it sounds strange through her fat lip. 

Her vision is slowly clearing up, which means her eye isn’t swelling after all. It was likely just the hit to her head causing her vision to narrow. It’s a small miracle but she’ll take it.

Severide reaches around Chili, grabs an instant ice pack out of the jump bag, places it in Sylvie’s uninjured hand, and then presses her hand to the side of her face. 

“Hold that,” he orders gruffly.

She does as she’s told because it actually dulls her pain but also because Severide does not look like he’s in any mood to argue. Neither is she to be honest.

There’s a nearby honk and the group of them all look up to see Squad 2 coming to a rolling stop just outside the scene.

“Oh man,” Early says from inside the truck with a taunting grin. “That looks pretty bad! Glad you made it out of that, Brett.”

“Where the _hell_ were you, Early?” Severide sneers as he marches toward the truck. “You were supposed to be two minutes out. There is no way that _my squad_ should have beaten you here!”

He shrugs and tries to look innocent. “What can I say? _Traffic_. You know how people are these days. They don’t give a crap about sirens and flashing lights.”

There’s a beat where furious tension fills the air around them. It’s a stare down between Severide and Early with everyone else not daring to move a muscle. The slightest twitch might set either one of them off. Severide steps up to the truck, standing just outside of Early’s door. He looks livid -- angrier than she’s ever seen him before.

“Get out of the truck and say that again,” Severide challenges through his bared teeth. His voice raises and he takes one threatening step toward the truck, fisting his hands at his sides. “Come on! Step down here and say that to my face! You slow walked this and everyone here knows it! You could have gotten someone killed!”

Cruz puts himself between Severide and Squad 2, catching Severide’s gaze with a pointed warning. “Breathe, Lieutenant. You don’t wanna give him any cause for a complaint.”

“To hell with a complaint!” Severide yells, irate glare still focused on Early as he smirks through the open truck window. “ _He_ nearly got my friend killed.”

“I know,” Cruz agrees. “We all know. But this isn’t the way, brother.”

“Hey, the way I see it,” Early says, tossing a wink at Brett. Her own anger flares and if she wasn’t sore everywhere she’d punch him herself. “No harm, no foul right? It all worked out. See you back at 105, ladies.”

Early slaps the side of the truck and it takes off away from the bar. He never gives any of them a single backward glance. God, she hates that guy. She never hates _anyone_ , but she’ll gladly make an exception for Early.

Severide throws his helmet down at the pavement, cursing at Early as he drives away. Once he’s gone, Kelly snatches up his helmet and nods toward 95. “Get in the back of the rig, Brett. Chiton, you okay to drive?”

“Yeah, I’m solid,” Chili replies, patting Sylvie’s shoulder.

“Good, cause I’m riding with both of you to Med.” He turns to Cruz and points toward their truck. “Head back to 51. I’m gonna call Boden and let him know what’s going on. We’ll let him handle Casey.”

Oh, Jesus. If Severide is livid then Matt is going to be _furious_. She wants nothing more to see him but she’d rather seek comfort in him than have to calm him down. She’s still trying to breathe through her own panic and anger. She can’t handle someone else’s too. 

“Copy, Lieutenant,” Cruz replies with a dutiful nod.

Sylvie isn’t really sure what just happened. She’s never seen Severide that angry before. She’s glad Early didn’t get out of the truck. She has a feeling CPD would be on their way to a murder scene if he had. She never quite processed Severide’s order to get in the rig (she was too caught up in her worry and rage) so when he turns and she’s still sitting on the bumper, he chuckles wryly.

“Come on, Bruiser,” he says, bracing her with a gentle hand under her arm. “Let’s get you to Med.”


	81. Would It Be Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt finds out about Sylvie's 10-1.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** Last chapter! All that’s left after this is the epilogue! Expect a gushy Author’s Note on the next post! This story has exceeded any expectation I ever had as far as how you all embraced it goes and I am SO GRATEFUL.
> 
> Hopefully you guys will enjoy this ending and the epilogue to come! 
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> xoxo

******

_“But I'm a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm,_

_If your cascade ocean wave blues come._

_All these people think love's for show,_

_But I would die for you in secret._

_The devil's in the details,_

_But you got a friend in me._

_Would it be enough,_

_If I could never give you peace?”_

_-“peace” by Taylor Swift_

******

Matt’s never loaded up the rig faster in his life. 

Boden came to find him to let him know he’d gotten a call from Severide. Squad 3 responded to a 10-1 involving 95. Brett is on her way to Med. Severide is demanding that Boden, Hatcher, and McCall meet them there.

Like hell Matt’s not going too.

Boden won’t tell him what happened or why. Only that Sylvie is okay. But that’s not good enough. Matt needs to see her for himself.

As soon as possible.

So, he gathers up his crew and they book it to Med. As soon as his crew finds out it’s Brett that brought them here, they’re following him inside. He jogs into the lobby and immediately spots Severide, with a medic he can only assume is Chili.

Boden, McCall, and Hatcher are all conferring off to the side. Matt can’t hear what they’re discussing but he’s sure it’s about Brett. What happened to bring the three of them together so quickly? Despite Boden telling him Sylvie is okay, he has a sinking feeling in his gut.

“Where is she?” Matt asks as soon as he stops in front of Kelly.

“Trauma Bay one,” Chili replies instead. “The first curtained off room on the left.”

“She’s okay, man,” Severide calls after him as he runs into the emergency room.

If it’s all the same to everyone, he’d like to gauge that for himself.

Matt doesn’t stop until he’s standing in front of her exam room. Kendra is giving her a once over, a string Shay pulled as soon as she heard what happened, but just one look at her tells him it’s bad.

Matt takes her in and fury builds in his chest. There’s an angry purple bruise discoloring her jaw -- giving her a fat busted lip -- and her hand is wrapped in gauze. Kendra is waving a pin light in her face and quizzing her about how she feels. Is she nauseous? Dizzy? Does she feel like she might faint? When the answer to all those questions is no, Kendra nods and smiles kindly at her.

“Miraculously, you don’t seem to have suffered a concussion. Not sure how you pulled that off given the length and width of this bruise on your face. The X-rays of your back and legs didn’t find any breaks or fractures. Again, just severe bruising. You’ll be fine with a few days rest. Make sure you keep those stitches dry, clean, and covered for a while, okay?”

Sylvie gives Kendra a shaky smile and nods. “Thanks, Kendra.”

X-rays of her back and legs? A possible concussion? _Stitches_?

What the _fuck_ happened? He rushes to her side as soon as Kendra’s gone, stopping directly in front of her as she sits on the gurney.

“Hey,” he says, reaching out and gently caressing her bruised jaw. “Are you okay? What the hell happened?”

“Bar brawl at 8 am in the morning,” she tells him with an eye roll. “Something about the Cavs and the Warriors?”

“Sports bar?” He asks knowingly as he tucks a loose blonde hair behind her ear.

Her usual neat french braid is a frizzy askew mess, further evidence of the chaos she lived through.

She grabs his hand and intertwines her fingers with his, holding their hands in her lap. “Yeah, some place on Hubbard. It was packed.”

“So a couple of idiots who’d been out all night got into a fight over the _NBA Finals_?” Matt asks her with disbelief. “And that turned into a brawl that you and Chili got stuck in the middle of? How did you end up hurt so badly? You called for a 10-1. The nearest crew should have--”

“The nearest crew was Squad 2,” Sylvie says, interrupting his confusion. “They took the call from Main but didn’t show up until about eight minutes later. By that time Squad 3 had already been on scene for around 3 minutes.”

She looks as if she didn’t want to tell him that last bit and he can understand why. He also now understands why Boden gave him as little details as possible. He knew exactly what his reaction would be.

 _Early_. Matt wants nothing more than to track him down and beat the shit out of him. He needs to look _at least_ as bad as Sylvie does right now. Casey never thought that dick would take things _this_ far.

“They slow walked it?” Matt asks through a clenched jaw. “Early took the call and then hung you and Chili out to dry? Is that what you’re telling me?” The question is rhetorical. He knows he’s understanding everything correctly. “That fucking bastard!”

“He found out about the complaint today,” Sylvie informs him with a thick swallow, leaning away from Matt and his outburst. 

He tries to breathe through his rage. It’s the last thing she needs right now. Her physical reaction to his anger would be telling on it’s own if he didn’t already know her as well as he does.

“That can’t be a coincidence,” she adds.

No, it can’t. No way in hell it’s a coincidence. He did exactly what Sylvie feared he’d do. He retaliated. Matt’s never felt a stronger urge to murder someone, except for maybe Hank Voight. He has to get a handle on it, though. It shouldn’t be on Sylvie to calm him down, given what she’s been through.

“That was an incredibly stupid thing for him to do,” Matt says with a furrowed brow as he carefully lifts Sylvie’s bandaged hand and kisses the tips of her fingers. Instead of his anger, he’s decided to focus on her comfort. His anger won’t help them. “He has to know how obvious that was. He won’t get away with it.”

Her eyes meet his and he’s surprised to find a furious determined glare instead of sadness and fear. “No, he won’t. Chili and I have already lodged a further complaint with McCall and Severide backed us up. With Severide’s expertise, the Conduct Unbecoming charges are all but a sure thing. At least that’s what McCall says. She’s already sent word to 95 that he’s suspended without pay until further notice.”

Matt breathes a huge sigh of relief and pulls her into his arms, careful of her injuries. “Good. I’m glad to hear that but hate that it went down like this. You shouldn’t have been put in that situation to begin with.”

Her arms go around him in return and her hands fist in his shirt. She presses the uninjured side of her face into his neck and leans into his chest. She breathes slowly, in and out. He hears a sniffle every so often, but otherwise she doesn’t say anything. One of his hands finds her hair and gently tugs the tie out of the end of her braid. He runs his fingers through it, undoing the intricate work she’d done that morning and tangling them in her blonde tresses. While stroking the base of her scalp with one hand he rubs slow soothing circles on her back with the other.

It’s a moment that’s as calming for him as he hopes it is for her.

“Are you gonna be okay?” Matt asks worriedly, moisture pooling in his own eyes. Her pain is his pain. He might as well have been the one in the bar brawl based on the tightness in his chest. He can’t imagine how scared she must have been trapped in that mob of people. He’s not sure how to make any of it better for her, but he’s never wanted to do anything more. “What do you need me to do, Sylvie? Tell me what you need and I’ll take care of it.”

“Get me back to 51, Matt,” she says in a voice thick with unshed tears. “I want to come home.”

He kisses the top of her head and then leaves his lips pressed there as he nods. “Believe me, there’s no way in hell you’re going back to 105. I don’t care if Early is suspended and then eventually booted. You’re not spending one more shift in that place. Not if I have anything to say about it.”

Chili comes back to check on Brett and let her know McCall took Ambo 95 out of service. Chili’s going to drive 95 back to the house and change out. She wants to know if Sylvie needs anything before she leaves. 

“I can get your stuff and bring it to 51 for you if you want,” Chili offers, gently squeezing Sylvie’s shoulder.

“Thank you,” Sylvie tells her, releasing Matt long enough to give Chili a quick hug. “I’d appreciate that.”

“Consider it done, Partner,” Chili promises. “Take it easy, okay? Don’t push it.”

“You got it, boss,” Sylvie replies with a wan smile.

“Oh, _boss_ , I like that.” Chili smirks and chuckles before turning to nod at Matt. “Nice to meet you, Lieutenant. Sorry it’s under these circumstances.”

“Not your fault, Chili,” Casey assures her. “And it’s nice to meet you too.”

Boden steps into the room after Chili leaves and Matt puts a publicly respectful amount of distance between himself and Brett, despite the fact that it kills him. After what happened today, his protective instincts are in high gear and he wants to keep her glued to his side for the rest of the day. Letting her go feels like cutting off a limb.

Boden takes in Matt’s fidgeting and the antsy way his hands flex at his sides and gives them both a crooked grin. “As you were, Lieutenant,” Boden says with a dry chuckle. “We’re not at the Firehouse and you’ve both been through a lot today. Don’t keep your distance on my account.”

Matt relaxes and returns to holding Brett, with his side pressed to hers and an arm around her waist. “Thanks, Chief.”

“I just came back here to offer Brett a ride to 51. I figure my buggy will be more comfortable than 81’s backseat,” Boden says with a kind smile focused on Sylvie. “That way you can settle back in before next shift.”

She gasps and her eyes widen. Matt can’t blame her. He’s not sure he heard the Chief right either.

“What?” She asks, a little breathlessly.

Boden nods and grins, understanding her shock. “Hatcher, McCall, and I concur that the best place for you is 51. The three of us pooled our resources and found someone over Riddle’s head that agrees with us. Mostly they agree in the hopes that you won’t sue the department, which you have grounds to do should you feel it’s necessary. Regardless, I just finished putting through the transfer order, you’ll be back on 61 next shift. Provided you rest up like you’re supposed to.”

“Yes! Yes, to be back on 61 I will absolutely rest up!” Sylvie exclaims, beaming excitedly.

“You were gonna do that anyway. I was gonna make sure of it,” Matt insists with a dry chuckle, dropping a kiss to the top of her head. “But okay.”

“Thank you, Chief!” Sylvie says, ignoring Matt. “I would jump down and hug you, but I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck and jumping in any context seems impossible right now.”

Boden laughs lightly and steps forward to gently hug Brett himself. “Since you can’t, I will. 51 hasn’t been the same without you. We’re all ready to have you back.” He pauses and lifts a teasing brow at Casey as he steps away from Sylvie. “Isn’t that right, Lieutenant?”

“A hundred percent, Chief,” Matt replies, grinning eagerly.

Where there were tired and frustrated tears before, Matt now sees joyful ones shining in Sylvie’s eyes. The tension in his chest releases at the sight of them. He’s ecstatic to see her happy again.

“I never want to leave 51 ever again,” Brett says in relief, sagging into Matt’s chest.

“Believe me,” Matt promises. “None of us are letting that happen. Not a chance in hell.”

Boden nods his agreement. “When he’s right, he’s right. I’ll go check with the nurses about your discharge paperwork and then we’ll see about getting you back where you belong. We’re all extremely glad you’re not seriously hurt, Brett.”

“Thank you again, Chief,” Sylvie calls to his retreating back. 

When he’s gone she all but throws herself at Matt, wincing in his ear as the movement aggravates her injuries. He catches her around the waist and holds her as securely as he can. 

“I feel so much better already! Imagine actually sleeping on shift again! Thank God!” Sylvie exclaims.

He presses an extremely light kiss to her lips, to avoid irritating her swollen lip, and sets her feet down on the floor. “Imagine me not worrying about whether or not someone’s looking out for you. You’re not the only one who feels immensely better about all of this.”

The radio on his shoulder crackles and a call for Truck 81 comes in. He looks down at her reluctantly but she waves him away. “Go!” She insists. “Go do the thing you’re good at and save people. Boden will make sure I get back to 51.”

He nods, kisses her one last time, and then rips himself away. He hates to leave her but knowing she’ll be waiting at 51 when he’s done makes up for it. He smiles the entire run to the truck. An overwhelming sense of peace washes over him even as he and his Truck guys drive headfirst into the unknown. 

Sylvie never has to go back to 105 ever again. It’s the best news he’s had in weeks.

Today could have been much worse than it was. The fact that it wasn’t and that it somehow brought her home to 51, felt like a sign. A sign that maybe he should finally let her know just how _invested_ in them he actually is. The timing is finally beginning to feel _right_.

Now, if he could just stop being chickenshit or awkwardly nervous...that would be great.

The call turned out to be nothing. A simple fender bender with minimal collateral damage or clean up required. When they got back to 51 and he asked about Brett, he was pointed in the direction of his quarters. 

As he’s approaching he notices the blinds pulled shut and the door closed with barely any light coming through the breaks in the blinds. He opens the door and finds Sylvie laying down on her side in near total darkness. Her eyes are screwed tightly shut. He closes the door behind him as quietly as he can, recognizing the signs of a killer headache better than anyone.

He kneels next to the bed and brushes her long blonde hair out of her face. The mottled skin that runs from her temple down the length of jaw stops just passed the point of her chin. There’s a tiny laceration in the middle of her lip while half of her bottom lip looks purple, pillowy, and swollen.

She was put through hell today. His imagination puts together a scene at the bar of her ricocheting off of people until she loses her balance and ends up being forced down to the floor and where a hard hit to the face comes out of nowhere. While picturing the scene he once again wonders how scared she was and a pang of anger, directed at himself, rolls through him.

Did this happen because he dropped her off at 105 that morning? Was Welch right and it made things worse? Why didn’t he go to Boden sooner and express how dire he felt the situation was? He was supposed to protect her from things like this. What good was he if he couldn’t?

“This isn’t your fault, Matt.”

Her soft groggy voice startles him, but it doesn’t take him long to recover. “How did you know that I was—“

“You think very loudly,” she explains, opening one eye. As she talks he realizes the swelling around her lip has gone down a little. Despite how dark the bruise along her jaw has gotten, her lip looks slightly better.

“I’m supposed to protect you,” he tells her, in a vague effort to explain why he feels guilty.

“No, you’re not,” she replies with a sigh, kicking back the covers and sitting up with a grimace. Before she continues, she pulls him onto the cot with her -- directing him to sit down next to her. “Don’t get me wrong, I know your protective nature is a big part of you, and I adore it as much as I adore you, but it’s not what you’re _supposed_ to do. I don’t need to be protected. I’d never learn or grow or advance anywhere if you did that. Things are _going_ to happen to me, things are going to happen to _you_ , and that’s okay. The most important part to me is that we stand by _each other_ through those things. Not whether you can shield me from them. That’s not why I want to be with you.”

He scoffs as she leans against him, looping her arm through his. She rests her head on his shoulder as he asks her a bitter question. “Why _do you_ want to be with me exactly?”

“You’re kidding, right?” She asks, sounding adorably bewildered by his question. She lifts her head and lets her blue eyes bore into his. “Matt, you are the most steadfast man I have ever met in my life. You’re _always_ there for me. You’re solid and warm.” She brings a hand up to caress his cheek, running her thumb over his skin. “And full of so much honor and decency that it makes me want to cry. You’re...you’re _good_ , in the purest way possible. I want to be around that as often and as _long_ as you’ll let me.”

He’s never heard anyone sum him up quite like that. He’s amazed and awed and can’t seem to find a reply. She rests her chin on his shoulder and curls her unbandaged hand around his bicep, rubbing comfortingly, as she continues to hold his gaze. She’s waiting patiently while he gathers his thoughts and staring at him with an affectionate smile.

Even with the bruising on her face, or he should say _especially with_ the bruising on her face because it impresses him that she’s handled today as well as she has, she makes a breathtaking picture as she looks up at him with an expression full of fondness.

Maybe that’s why he does what he does next. With her eyes on him, he searches for a reply and blurts out the first words that come to mind.

“I love you.”

Her eyes widen and she lifts her chin from his shoulder, looking completely stunned. “You what?”

“I love you, Sylvie Brett,” he repeats, more confidently this time. “I love how you face every single fear you have head on. I love your compassion. I _love_ your ability to see the best in people. The way you care about your friends, the way you give everyone a second chance—I just _love you_. I have for a while now.”

She beams at him and then winces when it pulls at her lip. “Ow,” she says, bringing a hand to her bottom lip. But a second later, she throws her legs over his lap and wraps her arms around his neck, pulling his forehead to hers and looking him straight in the eyes. 

“I love you too, Matt Casey. I love _everything_ about you. Even the frustrating parts.”

Now it’s his turn to beam at _her_. “You do?”

She nods against his forehead and kisses him tenderly before answering. “I do.”

“In that case, I was thinking,” he says, a dopey grin stretching across his face. “I still need a date to the CFD Fourth of July picnic in a couple of weeks.”

“What a coincidence,” she replies, playfully. “Me too.”

“Well, then _maybe_ , we could go together?”

“Hmm, our first official CFD outing as a couple?” She asks, struggling not to smile too widely. “Definitely count me in.”

He chuckles and tucks her hair out of her face, leaning forward to press a kiss to her cheek. He slides his lips from her cheek to the shell of her ear, murmuring how he feels about her one more time. “I love you.”

Her reply is instant. “I love you too.”

She’s right. _Things_ are going to happen to them—good things, bad things, possibly _heartbreaking_ things—but as long as they stand by each other then that’s all that really matters. 

They can make it through anything. _Together_.


	82. Epilogue: Hands of Fate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two months later...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** This is it! The epilogue! There were moments where I never thought I’d get here. I can’t believe I did it AND that you all stuck it out with me! I’m INCREDIBLY GRATEFUL for every kudos, comment, bookmark, review, favorite, subscription, and alert! Thank you all SO MUCH.
> 
> When I started this fic I honestly expected to be run out of the fandom by a mob of people carrying torches and pitchforks. I was so nervous when I posted that first chapter! I think I hit the “submit” button with my eyes closed, lol. In the early days I waited and waited for the backlash to show up. I truly did. Just the very concept of this fic terrified me and I refused to write it for the longest time.
> 
> So, to post it and have it be WELL RECEIVED has been MIND BLOWING. And you guys didn’t just love it for the Brettsey! Which was the most amazing part to me! You got invested in Shay and Stellaride, and TOMMY WELCH (lol still can’t believe that). It made writing this story thrilling and exciting. You really gave me room to play and it felt very freeing. So, THANK YOU for that. 
> 
> Thank you to **katertots** especially for offering so much insight and always letting me send this fic to her as I was writing it. She has always been honest with me about characterizations or the rough edges of some of my scenes. At various points she was my editor, my sounding board, my coach, my cheerleader, and my enabler. I seriously wouldn’t have completed this story without her.
> 
> As for where we go from here…
> 
> I will be posting a one shot collection to Ao3 that explores this universe further. It will not be the same sort of format as this story. It will likely drop in on everyone at certain points as opposed to being one continuous plot and I doubt it will be as regularly updated. BUT it will definitely continue the story beyond this epilogue. I have BIG ideas for it already and I can’t wait to start working on it. 
> 
> For now, though, my plan is to spend the rest of December taking it easy. I have 5 books left of my 2020 Goodreads goal and I WILL finish it. So, I’m gonna take a bit of a break from this universe but ultimately expect to hear more from Sylvie, Matt, Shay, Severide, and Stella in 2021! I love them too much to let them go completely!
> 
> Sorry for the long note, but if you’re honest you knew this was coming. ;) I can’t help but gush at the end of a multichapter and this one ESPECIALLY has been an AMAZING journey!
> 
> Thank you for coming along! I hope you enjoy the conclusion!
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> angellwings

******

_“This is a state of grace,_

_This is the worthwhile fight,_

_Love is a ruthless game,_

_Unless you play it good and right._

_These are the hands of fate,_

_You're my Achilles heel,_

_This is the golden age of something good,_

_And right and real.”_

_-“State of Grace” by Taylor Swift_

******

_AUGUST (TWO MONTHS LATER…)_

“Matt, seriously, stop worrying,” Sylvie says as he pulls the truck into the parking lot. “My parents loved you.”

They’re just getting back into town, having spent Friday and Saturday on The Brett Family farm, for Sylvie’s younger brother’s wedding. He’s never really been _good_ at meeting the parents. Hallie’s family grew to like him but that first impression was rough. She had just finished pre-med and was headed to med school in the fall so imagine their shock when she brings home a rookie firefighter and part time construction worker. To _them_ it didn’t make sense. And Gabby’s parents were nice enough, especially her mother, but he and her father had clashing personalities. That was _never_ easy.

But the Bretts…

The Bretts were down to earth people who worked with their hands and put their blood and sweat into their livelihood. 

They were exactly his kind of people. He _really_ wanted them to like him.

“Are you sure?” He asks, opening his door. “Your dad seemed kind of...standoffish.”

Sylvie laughs and opens her door too. “That’s his entire personality. Gruff but lovable. Trust me, he loved you.”

He grabs his duffle and hers out of the back, leaving the lighter garment bags or Sylvie to carry, and then shuts the door behind him. He reaches for her free hand as he rounds the truck, sighing in relief as they walk toward the apartment hand-in-hand. As much as he wanted to meet her parents and make a good first impression, it feels great to be home. The stress of needing to constantly bring his A-game is gone and he can simply... _be_ again.

“Thank you, by the way, for spending part of your birthday driving back from Fowlerton,” she says, leaning toward him to place a casual kiss to his lips. “It meant a lot to me that you came. Hope has been _bugging me_ to meet you. You made her year.”

Ah, _Hope_. The childhood best friend he’d heard so much about. The second person from Fowlerton to give him a bad vibe. The first had been Harrison, who they’d thankfully avoided over the weekend. But he’d only had to spend two days around Hope and Sylvie left her behind in Indiana so he let it go. Out of sight, out of mind.

“You don’t have to thank me,” he tells her, pushing the door open and holding it for her. “I wanted to go, Sylvie. My birthday will come back around next year, your brother’s wedding won’t.”

“Still,” she says as they stop in front of the elevator. “Thank you.”

He closes the distance between them and leans his forehead against hers, filching a kiss just as the doors open. “You’re welcome.”

As they step inside the elevator, Sylvie hooks the garment bag hangers around the railing. He gives her a curious glance but before he can voice the question she’s banded her arms around his back and slanted her lips against his. Their duffle bag straps fall off his shoulder. The bags hit the floor with a muted thud. His hands find spots on the small of her back and her shoulder blade, fingers spreading to touch as much of her as he can.

They stand there for the entire ride, trading soft intrusive kisses while their hands explore over their clothes. She brings her hands up to his jaw, cupping it and tracing lines on his cheeks with her thumbs, and then pulls back to catch his eye.

“Happy birthday, Matt Casey,” she whispers, stealing one last slow kiss. “It may not be a hand restored vintage record player but I do have something pretty enticing in mind for you later. Something you’ll have to untie and unlace. I know how you like a slow reveal.”

Her grin is wicked and her eyes are hooded with heat. He understands her meaning as clearly and easily as his love for her. The elevator doors open as she steps out of his arms to grab the garment bag. Her grin tilts in a sexy secretive way and then she tosses him a playful _wink_. 

“Tonight?” He asks as he scrambles to pick up their duffles and follow her out into the hall. “Why not right now?”

“Because we have other plans right now,” she tells him as she watches him unlock the apartment door.

His brow furrows. “Other plans? What other plans?”

The door swings open and Matt nearly has a heart attack.

 _“Surprise!”_ comes a huge collective shout from Severide and Shay’s living room, making him to jump. 

Sylvie chuckles and balances him with her hands on his back. “Happy birthday,” she tells him leaning up to kiss the line of his jaw. “Lots of beer, your friends, and a cook out on the roof. That is what you said you wanted, right?”

He can’t believe she remembered. Hell, he barely remembers that. He said that the night of her birthday party and that feels so long ago now. His smile is wide and toothy as he wraps his arms around her and nods his way into a quick grateful kiss. 

“This is exactly what I wanted,” he replies. Then he looks back up at his friends and shakes his head with a half grin. “None of you can keep a secret so I have no idea how I didn’t figure this out.”

Severide snorts and takes their bags from them. “You were too busy freaking out over going to that wedding to notice anything else. It was the perfect distraction. Your girlfriend is an evil genius.”

Sylvie smirks and shrugs with false modesty. “I have my moments.”

Shay pushes through the crowd, pulling Rafferty along behind her -- surprising both himself _and_ Brett. 

“Yes, okay, I brought a date. Stop looking at me like that,” Shay scolds as she hugs Sylvie first and then Matt. “Happy birthday, buddy! Just six more years until 40!”

“Gee, thanks for that reminder,” Matt says sarcastically.

Leslie pulls away from the hug and waves off his disingenuous gratitude. “Anytime! Every birthday is just one year closer to death.”

“Well, that’s a cheery thought,” Allison says, rolling her eyes. “I’ll be sure to point that out to you on _your_ birthday, considering you’re older than him.”

“If I keep you around that long,” Shay says with a teasing glare.

“Oh, you will,” Rafferty replies with a chuckle. “I’m the best thing to happen to you in many years and you know it.”

Leslie blinks after her in shock as Rafferty turns and heads toward the kitchen for another beer. She looks from Rafferty back to Matt and Sylvie. “Was it just me or was that show of confidence _insanely_ hot?”

Shay walks away, to chase down Rafferty, without giving either of them a chance to respond.

“Dammit, now I owe Stella a hundred bucks,” Sylvie mutters with a sigh. “They couldn’t have held out until the CFD gala?”

Matt snorts and pulls her into his side, pressing a kiss to her hair. “Glad to hear you’re so happy for our friend, babe.”

She smacks his shoulder with a bright laugh. “Shut up. You know I’m happy for her.”

“There he is!” Boden’s voice booms as he approaches Matt with a hearty handshake. “The man of the hour. I can’t stay long, just wanted to drop by and wish you a happy birthday. Also, needed to ask Brett’s opinion on something.”

“Yes, Chief?” Brett asks curiously.

“Carroll on 3rd shift is about to go on maternity leave. Do you think Chili would take her spot for a while?” Boden asks.

“I don’t know. She’s pretty happy at 105 now. She and Welch and McCall have been running a tight ship over there. Early and his guys are gone so it’s like a whole new house,” Sylvie replies thoughtfully. “But I don’t think she’d mind hearing the offer.”

Boden nods and smiles kindly at her. “I’ll give her a call. I’d better get out of here. Donna’s expecting me.” He shakes Matt’s hand again and claps his other hand against his back. “Have fun, Casey. But not too much fun. We have shift in the morning.”

Casey laughs and nods, waving as Boden heads for the door. “Copy that, Chief.”

He takes a moment to glance around the room and sees his Firehouse family, gathered together and mingling. His arm around Brett’s waist tightens as his chest seems to inflate with thankfulness and pride. He’s come a long way since last year and these people are a big reason why. They mourn with him, laugh with him, and _support him_. It’s a beautiful mixture of people. All different but all made for the same purpose… _to help people_.

“You okay?” Sylvie asks, resting her hand on his chest.

He nods and then slowly closes the distance between them, pressing his forehead to hers and gently bumping her nose with his. “Yeah, I am. I’m better than I’ve been in a very long time.”

She smiles warmly at him with a look of perfect understanding a moment before he leans in for a kiss. Kissing her is always a revelation, but this time it sparks a memory.

A memory of a broken man who walked into a bar, never knowing how that night might change his life.

It’s funny, he remembers thinking his world ended over a year ago but really…

It was only just beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N:** THE END…
> 
> for now?


End file.
